Five things friday

Happy Friday, my frozen friends (at least if your temps are anything like the single digits they are here!) Here are some things for you...

1. WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

I renewed my servers license earlier this week, so for at least another three years I can sell/serve alcohol and tobacco. Previously I had a simple 'Volunteer Servers Permit,' which only costs $15 for three years, but was only good as a volunteer. This time I got the regular Employee Permit ($45 for three years), so I could possibly get a job at a liquor store, bar or restaurant... if I wanted. You just never know.

The worst part of this is watching the Indiana Server Training Program video and taking the test. It took me 90 minutes, and was the same exact video/test I did three years ago. The funniest part is the lady from the coalition against underage drinking (or something) who presents her part from her bed! Her headboard is the backdrop behind her. Haha. Apparently it was recorded during the covid shutdown... so, naturally, you do your presentation while in bed! Ha!

2. BETTER QUESTIONS

I'm a sucker for these conversation-starter questions (even though I'm still terrible at conversations). Anyhew, I appreciated this list of 80 Interesting Questions to Ask Besides "How Are You?". Here are a few:

• What’s the best thing that happened to you today?
• What are you most looking forward to this week?
• What’s the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
• What’s been on your mind recently?
• If you got a do-over, what would you do differently this month? This year?
• On a scale of 1 to 10—with 10 being the best—what’s your current state of mind?
• What word describes your life right now, and why?
• Who or what always cheers you up?
• What made you smile today?
• What is the weirdest thing you saw on your commute?
• Is there anything you did today that you’d love to do every day?
• Which song would be the perfect theme for your day?
• Who made your day easier today?
• What’s one way you aim to make tomorrow better than today?
• Do you have any fun trips planned?
• What podcast are you currently obsessed with?
• What new movie or TV show should I check out? Which one is overrated?
  
• What could you give a TED Talk on with zero prep?
• What are you most looking forward to this year?
• What was the best thing that happened in school today?
• What was the most surprising thing you learned today?
• Who did you help today? Who helped you?
• When did you feel the most bored?
• What was the hardest thing you did today?
• If you could give your teacher one suggestion, what would it be?
• What made you laugh the most today?
• What is something you know now that you didn’t know yesterday?

There's plenty more at the link, but you get the idea. By the way, how are you? ;) 

3. MORE THAN RUNNING INDOORS

Yes, I did my 12-mile run on a treadmill today. It went about like you would think running 12 miles on a treadmill would go. Not great. I couldn't get my ear buds to work, so it was all done from the back row at the downtown Y I used to work at. Plus, I had a couple vials of blood sucked from my veins by the doctor yesterday, and I'm sure that didn't help. I was beat. Ugh.

However, when I arrived there were 15 other people there, and 13 of them greeted me by name. That makes a difference to someone like me, you know. And others came and went that I knew also. I really do need to get out more, and as they say at the Y (or at least they used to) - it's more than just a gym. It felt good to be noticed, greeted, and to be among friends.

4. READING

I mentioned earlier this week that I finished reading Slow Theology, by A.J. Swoboda and Nijay Gupta. What a gem. While it seems a lot of non-fiction books anymore start off well and then kind of fizzle towards the end (like they had already said what needed saying in the first couple chapters, but they needed more pages)... this one is the opposite. It started off a little slow to me (no pun intended), but boy did it end well. It got better as it went, from start to finish. Well done.

I have now started reading Make Sense of Your Story, by Adam Young. He presented a workshop at our church this past November on the contents of this book, and I want to dig deeper. After this I intend to look into some videos and other resources at the Allender Center (as well as some Jay Stringer stuff). I am finding all this very helpful right now...

5. QUOTE FOR TODAY

"The challenge of any chaotic moment is to not lose touch with the voice of Jesus." - A.J. Swoboda & Nijay Gupta, p.177, Slow Theology

 

**Bonus - This is what I'd like to do (if I did anything, and had the funds, and a building...): A listening bar. Play good music on nice sound equipment, have comfy furniture, good wine and coffee/tea, and a smooth vibe.

 

Alrighty... that seems to be about enough for this Friday. Although... I did pass my annual physical this week (more on that later), and I've switched up house-cleaning day from Friday to Thursday. So, now all I need to do is take a shower (this is becoming more of a priority by the minute), and then maybe some meditation to the J.J. Cale channel on Pandora (which I have been digging lately).

Keep the faith, friends... and your fanny from freezing!

New running shoes (ghost trail & glycerin 22)

I am a little behind on my running-shoe record-keeping. Oops.

I had to look back and see. I did apparently include a write-up on the new orange Brooks Ghost 17 that I purchased on 8/10/25. This is what I've been running in the most recently. I think (maybe) I ran the Fort4Fitness half marathon in these in the fall(??). They're still holding up fairly well, but mileage-wise I suppose are approaching retirement age. They've felt surprisingly good once I broke them in (and loosened the lower strings).

Since then I have bought two other pairs of running shoes...

I got these Brooks Ghost Trail shoes on 11/12/25. I have run in them several times on snow-covered pavement... including the 11 miles last Friday. They are actually more comfortable than the Ghost 17 above, with a slightly wider toe box. They do have a better tread than a regular shoe, and don't work too bad on snow (though not so much on ice). They are not super trail-y, though... so they work fairly good on the road as well. Hopefully I can get a couple more years out of them (fingers crossed).

On 12/17/25 I got this pair of Brooks Glycerin 22 on sale (I think for $125). I've worn them just a couple times, but these will start to be my daily trainer probably fairly soon as I amp up mileage for the April marathon. I will likely get another pair of Glycerin's to run that marathon in.
 

All three of these are size 8.5, which is nice. I don't like when I have to switch between 8.5 and 9 because the arch hits different. Although I wish there was an 8.75, because that's what I need! ;)

Anyway, now I should be caught up on my shoe posts for another couple months...

Abiding on the treadmill

I've been running on a treadmill this week. It kind of feels like I'm cheating or something, but...

It was bitter cold Monday, and I wasn't feeling the greatest, so I swallowed hard and decided to use a treadmill at the Y instead of running outside. I admit, I had grown a little uppity about treadmill running. I had become a road-runner, not an indoor runner. Rain, sleet, snow... cold or hot... it didn't matter. I was a tough guy. (I know, right? It's laughable.)

Anyway, Monday morning I walked into the Y I used to work at, and there were several friends just inside the door. Right away they wondered what I was doing there. I sheepishly admitted I was running on the treadmill instead of outside. I felt a little wimpy and hung my head.

However, it finally dawned on me: At least I was doing something! Running on a treadmill beats laying on the couch (not that I didn't also lay on the couch Monday).

Then, the more I thought about it, the better I felt. Who was I trying to impress? Yes, I would need to do the bulk of training miles for a road race on a road, but it didn't mean I had to be stupid and run outside in below-zero windchills.

So, I ran 3 miles Monday and today, 6 on Tuesday, and will likely do my 12 on a treadmill Friday. Why not? 

Then, in the latest book I read, they talked about the idea of "abiding," that John uses in his gospel.

Slow Theology, by A.J. Swoboda and Nijay Gupta was pretty good. In the final chapter ("Don't Ever Give Up") they discuss the theological meaning of the verb "Abide." Here's what they say on p.174...

"Abide" has a kind of old-timey religious ring to it; it sounds holy and spiritual (and it's used in the cult classic The Big Lebowski in the saying, "The dude abides"). "Abide sounds like a transcendent state of being and spiritual bond with the divine that is otherworldly and mysterious, doesn't it? So it is a little ironic that the Greek word that John uses here is menō, a very common and ordinary word for living, persisting, or remaining in one place. In fact, it's most basic meaning is "to stay."

The authors talk about this for several wonderful pages - times when Jesus used the word, and the theology behind God's abiding love. On p.175-176 they add...

That's Christianity at its most basic: yearning to be near Christ and to do whatever it is that he is doing. And he wants the same, to be near us... The Christian -- the one who abides in Jesus -- is the one who continues to hold firmly to their love for Christ until their very end.

It's a really beautiful section - brings a tear to my eye reading it again. The whole book was like that.

So, I'm thinking that this time spent on the treadmill is a chance for me to not only stay in one place while (still) running... but a time to abide with Jesus too. 

At least that's the excuse I'm using...

Five things friday

Happy Friday! I suppose I should get back in the habit of sharing a FTF again. Here ya go...

1. CRITICAL IGNORING

According to this WSJ article, Critical Ignoring is going to be our key survival skill for surviving 2026. I've seen this mentioned several places, and we discussed it at our elders meeting the other night. 'Knowing more' is no longer what we need. As someone noted: In an age of endless low-quality information, knowing what to ignore - and taking steps to do so - is now a life skill.

At the elder meeting we did the small, but intentional, step of physically turning off our phones (except two people who said they couldn't). Of course, this doesn't mean we should ignore everything - thus the "critical" nature...

2. ON LONG, LONE PARTNERSHIPS

For some reason I seem to see/hear more and more about open relationships. I can't say I'm a fan. This morning I was thinking about how nice it is that I've been in a long, lone relationship. I mean, when I reminisce - say I hear an old song, and reflect back on it - the person I was with is... the same person I'm still with. There's no longing for an "old love"... because my old love is my current love. And, I'll admit, there have been times in my life when I've thought, "Gee, I wonder if I've missed out on... something?" You know what? I haven't! I haven't missed out on anything, because I've had a good and full life with the ONE I love. Anyhew, just something I was thinking about on my run this morning.

3. RUNNING (double digits)

Today was my first double-digit mile run. I ran 11 miles in 25F tempts with patches of snow and ice. I almost wiped out three times. Earlier in the week was a 3, 6, 3, and I'll likely do another 3 miles tomorrow. The weekly mileage will only increase from now until mid-April. The biggest problem on longer runs in the winter is fuel. I'm using a Tailwind mix for electrolytes and calories. I've ditched my hydration pack and just carry it in bottles in my backpack (that way the hose doesn't freeze). Not ideal, but functional.

4. WRITING

I read Darius Foroux now and then, and found this post, 'Why I Write,' particularly interesting. Especially his answer. He apparently quotes Friedrich Nietzsche:

"I have not discovered any other way of getting rid of my thoughts."

I can certainly relate to that. Getting rid of my thoughts, or processing my thoughts, or... something along those lines is my reason too. At least as good of a reason as anything else... ;)

5. QUOTING

"Every time I read the Gospels, I'm struck by how much of Jesus' ministry was just paying attention to people everyone else overlooked. That might still be the most radical thing a Christian can do." - Beau Stricker

Well, there ya have it. It's another Friday, it is now snowing pretty good out, and the house is waiting to be cleaned.

Peace

Accord oil change & coolant exchange

I took our 2013 Honda Accord LX 4-door sedan with a 2.4 Liter L4 MPI DOHC 16 in for an oil change and to have the coolant system flushed and refilled. They also washed it for me, which it desperately needed. Total cost was ~$250, and it took around 90 minutes.

I opted to hang out in their nicely redone customer service area. I was able to read a chapter in my current book, as well as sift through some emails. It was also an exercise in being around some other humans for awhile - which is something I probably need to do more of.

The usual list of recommended work is:

• new battery (it's 5 years old, and the price they quoted is actually lower than if I replaced it myself: $168.95 to $209)
• serpentine belt ($183.67) 
• brake fluid flush ($189.95)
• transmission service ($299.95)
• fuel injection system cleaning ($199.95)
• engine performance restoration ($79.95)
• spark plugs ($192.71)
• they also noted the cabin air filter and engine air filter should be replaced at next oil change 

Geezaroo... that would have been an extra $1,315.13 if I'd had everything done! 

I should probably get a new battery, serpentine belt and break fluid flush, but I don't know about the rest. I'd really like to get rid of this car and get something else but... yeah... we'll see.

Elder

Well, it finally happened. I am back in another church leadership position.

Twelve and one half years after leaving my position as a local church pastor, I am now officially a local church elder. This past Sunday I was "consecrated" - I guess is the term - as an elder at the church we've been part of for the past few years.

I was initially nominated and asked to be an elder last year (like, 18 months ago), and it simply didn't feel right (which may be another way of saying I was scared). They asked me again this year and... I said I would do it. 

I'm not entirely sure what changed between then and now, but ever since last year when I said no, it had kind of been gnawing on me. I now feel like it's a way I can offer service to the church, and I want to.

Tonight will be my first 'elder meeting,' which I'm told will last around two hours. They aren't really "business meetings," as much as they're supposed to be about formation and development. 

The "team" I will be joining as leaders of the church can be found on THIS PAGE.

The 'Elder Role' (for our church community) is described as such:

The elders provide oversight of the affairs of the church. In collaboration with one another, and in close proximity and service to the Canvas Community, and for no compensation, the Elders will commit to:

• Following and walking with Jesus as Lord, savior, and friend.
• Seeking and cultivating a Jesus-centered approach to the scriptures.
• The pursuit of health and ongoing growth in all areas of life: spiritual, emotional, mental, physical.
• Cultivating a life and environment of prayer.
• Pursuit of integrity and ethical conduct in all aspects of life (private & public).
• Seeking, listening for, and following the lead of the Spirit.
• Kindness, respect, and warmth in conversation and written communication.

 The 'Expectations and Requirements' for elders in our church community are:

Personal Growth 

• Engaged in some form of regular counseling, spiritual direction, 1 to 1, or group work which provides context for being known and receiving guidance.
• Demonstrates an openness and desire for growth and health in all areas of life.

Familiarity with the community 

• Consistent presence at Canvas events
• Seeks to better know the people of Canvas through presence, time together, and relational initiative and investment.

Service 

• Provides ongoing leadership presence and/or oversight to at least 1 area or ministry team.
• Seeks to be in touch with and aware of all aspects of the church through attendance of meetings, and timely engagement with written communication.
• Seeks responsibility and stewardship for the well-being of the church as a whole.
• Full Time Staff Support – Each full time staff will have 2 designated Support Elders, selected by the staff person and confirmed by the Elder Team, of one male and one female, assigned for encouragement, discernment & alignment with the stated vision of Canvas, and soul care. The main role of the support Elders is support and must exhibit tangible artifacts of that support. An Elder may serve as support for more than 1 full time staff, if desired.

 

I don't know if I really feel "qualified" or even "ready" to be in a leadership position like this again, but... I probably feel more qualified and ready than I ever have been (even when I was a pastor). Not because I think I'm any wiser or more prepared... but maybe because I feel... less. 

One verse that stood out to me as I pondered accepting the role this year was James 3:17:

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere."

I guess I feel like I have a better sense that the wisdom I should be seeking shouldn't be my own... but the "wisdom from above." That's how I want to approach this. I want to have that attitude.

So, this is what's been happening in my life recently. There was a process of like three weeks where they notified the congregation of their intent to add me to the elder team. During that time people were encouraged to speak to me and/or weigh in on the decision. I had a couple people ask me about it, but apparently no one raised any red flags and... that's that. 

Here we go!

A new chair

Sometimes it's the simplest of things that can make the biggest difference...

I got a new chair! Yay, for me!

My "desk" is actually our dining room table, which sits in our dining/living room. It allows me to look out our two big windows onto the street at the front of the house. Usually it's just this laptop that I'm writing on, the iPad, and some scattered papers and books.

We have laminate flooring, and I noticed that our dining room chairs have started to scratch the floor - mostly where I sit at the computer every day. Plus, most of them are not very comfortable. So, I made the decision it was time for an office chair!

My first instinct was to go to Office Depot and just get the cheapest one they had. When I saw that it was $129... I decided maybe my instincts needed an update.

So, I ordered this Amazon Basics Low-Back Office Desk Chair with Back Support, Adjustable Height, 360 Degree Swivel, Fabric Upholstery, Rolling, Black chair for $67 and received it two days later.

It's nothing fancy, but it is actually much more comfortable than I expected. It's a far cry from some of the cheapo office chairs I've sat in over the years. I also like being able to roll around, and spin.

---

At church we've lately been talking about gratitude. We had people write things they're grateful for on post-it notes and put them up. Our pastor noted how none of the things people wrote they were grateful for had to do with their occupation, career, paycheck, bigger house/car/boat... They were almost all simple and small things. Parents, spouses, kids, friends, pets, coffee, laughter... things like that.

Some of the things I put were my wife, kids, and grandkids... as well as quiet mornings, growing older, our couch - where I sit and read, and silence. Again... simple.

This morning I am feeling pretty grateful for this "basic" office chair. With it I can look out our windows and see the world: trees, grass, houses, neighbors, cats, and signs of a gentle winter breeze.

It's nice...

Christmas 2025

The Christmas and New Year's holidays are over, and now we settle in for the long winter suck. Though it is currently a sunny 38F in this little slice o' heaven known as northeast Indiana, USA.

As per usual, if you had any expectations of me posting over the past couple weeks, I have let you down. Such is life. Get used to it.

Still, here is what I can recall from the time:

THE PRESENTS

Since we all know Christmas is about the presents we get... ;). The above pic is my haul.

• Jane and I got each other pajamas, because we're like that now
• Bombas socks are a staple gift around our house every year, for everyone
• Books for me is another given
• The daughter got me a digital picture frame - which I really like!

One other gift that I got for Jane, which is actually for both of us, is this 'We're Not Really Strangers: Couples Edition.' They say it's "For couples looking to deepen their existing connection." I thought it might help create discussion on long trips, or as an alternative to sitting and staring at our phones at night. We've already gone through several of the questions - which come on cards - and I would say it has proven quite nice already. I'm glad I got it!

PRESENCE

I do realize this holiday season is way more about presence than presents, at least in the world I live in. And we were once again fortunate to spend time with family. My mom was here from 12/24-12/30, the son's family from 12/25-12/29. The daughter's family (who live in town) were in and out the entire time too. 

I went and got my mom on the 23rd/24th, and we went to our church's Christmas Eve service at 4:30p, along with the daughter's family. On Christmas Day we always go out to the daughter's house for breakfast and to see what her kids got. Then we drove to Anderson, IN and picked up the son, daughter-in-law, and little Wynn. We all then gathered at our house to open presents in the afternoon, then had the big "Christmas" feast for supper (lasagna - both with and without meat).

We did also remember, and manage to get, this family pic (as well as various other combinations of people).

On Saturday night, the son-in-law's band played a show at a local brewery, so we all went there for supper and baby Wynn's first ever concert. It was fun!

Otherwise, aside from a few shopping trips and occasional walks around the block, we didn't do much but laze around the house and eat. A very nice and relaxing time.

TRAVELS

As mentioned, I drove to pick up my mom, and then Jane and I both took her home. Both trips were just overnight, and traffic was a piece of cake. We returned to FW around 7:30a on both Xmas Eve and NYE, and it was smooth sailing!

The son's family flew from Minnesota to Indy on the weekend before Xmas. They stayed with her family until Xmas Day; then stayed at our house until early Monday 12/29, flying out of FW. It sounds like both flights were excellent and the little traveler seems to be a natural. 

OTHER

Besides all the above, we had our nephew from Colorado and his wife and two kids (teens) stop by and spend the night on New Year's Day. It was a brief visit including supper, and he regaled us with some of his hurdy gurdy playing. 

Well, I'm sure I've forgotten several important details - like having a couple bouts with Afib during the week - but that's about it for the most part. Lots of food, a little bit of fun, and nothing much got broken. A pretty swell time once again...

Five things friday

Can you believe it? We made it to the second-to-last Friday of the year!! And it's the last one before Christmas, so there may or may not be another ftf in 2025 (we'll see how it goes). Anyway... this week is a bit "R" rated (hopefully you'll catch on). Here ya go...

1. REGARDING MENTAL HEALTH AND GOD

I try to read Richard Beck's substack every day - though I admit it's difficult to keep up, because he literally posts one every day (and it's not everyday stuff like I post). It is so good though. And this post on Soteriology and Mental Health hits so many nails on the head for much of what ails many people today. Here's a blurb (and don't be intimidated by the big words... he explains them):

Here’s the basic thesis. Much of our imagination about how God works in our lives has been shaped by soteriology, our beliefs about salvation. That is, when we talk about God’s actions in the world we mostly talk about how God saves us. This creates a habit of mind, an imagination about the shape and nature of God’s actions in our lives. But this imagination, while appropriate for talking about salvation, isn’t always the best for thinking about mental health and well-being. Basically, we import a soteriological imagination into therapeutic contexts where it is ill-suited.

2. RUNNING

The next round of marathon training starts Monday (12/22/25). This is according to my 18-week training plan in preparation for the next Fort Wayne Marathon on April 26, 2026.  

I've been doing between 2-5 miles a day for the last couple weeks, four days a week. Once again I will use a Hal Higdon plan - either Novice 1 or Novice 2. I'm thinking of the latter this year, though it calls for 8 miles next Friday. Gulp.

3. REFLECTION 

I'm not entirely sure where I even stumbled upon this journaling app: Reflection journaling app, but it looks kinda cool to me. I have yet to use it, but I may give it a try. Here are a few blurbs from their website:

• "Journal daily, unpack your thoughts, and improve your mental well-being with an AI coach."
•  "Your private journaling app with real-time guidance and insights to help you flourish."  
• "...more than just a digital diary — it’s a tool for clarity, self-awareness, and personal growth."

4. READING

I finished, 'Something To Do With Paying Attention' by David Foster Wallace, this morning. This was a stand-alone piece from his novel 'The Pale King,' both of which were written before he died, but published after. Amazon says, "It is the story of a young man, a self-described “wastoid,” adrift in the suburban Midwest of the 1970s, whose life is changed forever by an encounter with advanced tax law." So, other than the tax law part, made it interesting to me. It reminded me of 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac, in that it had no chapters and was basically a very long train-of-thought from beginning to end. I liked it, but, as with most things, I don't know that I would recommend it, because you may not like it. Still, it made for a worthwhile read to occupy my mind for a week.

I don't know if I will start anything else before the end of the year or not. I still have a few on the waiting-to-be-read pile, and am assuming I will get some more for Christmas next week. However, I will also be kinda busy until the end of the year, so... we will see.

5. READ THIS QUOTE (and reflect)

"Grace is not a race to the finish line. It is the patient, renovating work of God over a lifetime, often through people who will not collude with our illusions but also will not abandon us in our shame." - Chuck DeGroat, When Patterns Tell the Truth

Alrighty, I have almost all our Christmas presents wrapped - just need to buy two more small things - and now it's time to finish cleaning the house, plus a 5-mile run. I wish I'd have run yesterday when it was 50F, instead of the 18 with feels like of 0 that it is today. Oh well.

Happy festivus and whatever else you wanna celebrate!

Peace

Five things friday

Well, the calendar says it's Friday, so I suppose I should whip somethin' out. I've been in a bit of a rut this week and just haven't been too motivated. Yet, here are a few things...

1. BUDA

We made it to the old hometown (village) and back last weekend. It was a Thursday to Saturday trip this time. Oddly enough, my mom wasn't even there - though she did return home on Saturday after we'd already left. While Jane was at her brother's house most of the time, I spent my time cleaning at my mom's. Dusting, vacuuming, fixed a couple things, and cleaned up her sidewalks and driveway of snow. I wasn't expecting to work quite so hard, but it was otherwise a pretty good trip.

2. AI NEWS

I saw the following two items on the 12/11/25 Superhuman newsletter. Both seem like really cool things (in spite of being sucked further into AI usage):

1. Oboe raises $16M from a16z to scale its AI learning platform: Oboe’s generalized learning platform transforms any subject into a structured learning experience, complete with custom visuals that break down complex technical concepts into digestible lessons. The startup recently raised $16M to continue developing its platform — try it for free here.

2. Adobe launches free access to photo-editing tools in ChatGPT: Adobe announced that Photoshop, Express, and Acrobat are now free in ChatGPT, allowing anyone to easily edit photos conversationally without leaving their chat. Just type each tool’s name in ChatGPT to get started. Live for web, desktop, and iOS — coming soon to Android. See the new features in action.

3. RUNNING

I started back running this week. I took two weeks off... I can't really remember why now. I guess we were in Minnesota for one, and once I'd decided not to do the trail half marathon, I didn't feel the need. Anyway, this week I've run on M,W,F, and I will tomorrow... just 3-ish miles each day. I also managed to do my weight routine in T & TH. So far I've managed the running all outside. Chilly, and Wednesday it was drizzling rain, but it feels good to run in the cold... at least once I'm done. ;)

4. READING 

I finished reading 'Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing' by Jay Stringer. Wowza. That was a doozie of a book. It took me some places I wasn't expecting, and was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Not that it's a hard read, but... it really threw me for a loop in some ways. That's partly why I've been struggling this week. I will definitely be digging into further resources along those lines. It was a very eye-opening book that probably most everybody should read - whether you think you have sexual brokenness in your life or not (because you likely do).

Yesterday I started 'Something to Do With Paying Attention' by David Foster Wallace. So far, in the first 20 or so pages, he pretty much describes my growing up years (we were born in the same year and lived in the same area). It's crazy...

5. QUOTE

I've needed to read this quote from Henri Nouwen a few times, and likely need to many more...

If we could just be, 
for a few moments each day, 
fully where we are, 
we would indeed discover 
that we are not alone 
and that the One who is with us 
wants only one thing: 
to give us love.

 

Okey doke... 'tis the season for busy stores, bad traffic, and holiday parties. We have one tonight, an Xmas concert to work tomorrow, Jane's work party Monday, and I have one on Tuesday.

Watch out for reindeer...

Five things friday

 Greetings, friend, 

Today’s Five Things Friday comes to you from the cold, quiet, snow-covered village of Buda, Illinois. I lived most of my first 35-ish years of life here, and I’m covered in a blanket while gazing out the window of the house I grew up in. My parents bought it just before I was born, and my mom still lives here (sometimes). It’s very peaceful and calm as I sit here alone, trying to write this post on an iPad (which I am not a fan of). Anyhoo…

1. WHAT DO YOU HOPE

I was thinking this morning about the difference between hoping and wanting. This time of year you hear people asking, “What do you want (for Christmas)?” What if, instead, we asked “What do you hope for in this Advent season?” The pondering of it feels different to me…

2. STILLNESS, NOT INACTIVITY

It’s a busy time of year, right? Perhaps now more than ever many of us could use a little stillness (calm) in our lives. Yet, it’s not always seen as very… productive. I think that’s a problem in our world. What if we were more intentional about adding active stillness into our daily routines… as a means to rest, to contemplate, to wonder, dream, and… hope? …

3. ARE YOU HAPPY

When is the last time you asked someone else that question? In our self-care attuned world, perhaps it’s more common to consider Am I Happy? What if we looked across the aisle at the people we care about most… swallowed hard, and asked if they’re happy? I know… it’s a risky question. But… is it important to you? Are they important to you?

4. OTROVERTS

Do you know what an Otrovert is? I didn't either... but I think maybe I am one!

This is an interesting little article explaining the nuances between Extrovert, Introvert, Ambivert, and Otrovert - What is an Otrovert and I My Child One?

Here's how they explain an Otrovert:

...the term otrovert indicates that the person doesn't feel a sense of belonging in either social setting (solo or group) and often feels that they are on the outside—think of the Spanish word otro or other. 

“It isn't necessarily an indicator that they don't have social skills or can't fit in, as they often do have high empathy," explains Moorehead. "Their need for authenticity and to avoid being forced into a box or a role or a norm is what can lead them to feel that they are outsiders."

 I don’t know… I guess I often feel like an outsider whether alone or in a group. It was a new word for me (I think, unless I just forgot). 

5. A QUOTE

“Love isn’t saying, I love you, but calling to say, did you eat?” - Marlon James (I love this quote, not specifically about the eating, but that love carries with it practical concern… and it’s often a question more than a statement).

 

Okay, well, I need to get to cleaning my mom’s house, shoveling snow, and… re-reading what I wrote above (because this iPad is so hard for me to get used to. Why? Why can I not get the hang of this thing? Grrr. 

Enjoy your day. Don’t be afraid…

The tears of things - pt. 7 (final)

 Hey, I think we're going to do it! It's the last of my summarizing of Richard Rohr's grand book 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.' 

I will follow the same format here by providing a summary of chapters 9 & 10, and then the points I highlighted within them.

ChatGPT summary:

In chapters 9 and 10 of The Tears of Things, Richard Rohr continues to explore how suffering and loss are integral to spiritual growth. He discusses the transformative power of embracing the shadow side of life, including the personal and collective wounds that shape us. Rohr suggests that through these experiences, we learn to see the world and ourselves with greater depth and compassion. In the final chapter, he ties everything together by emphasizing the importance of surrender and acceptance. True spiritual freedom, he writes, comes when we stop fighting against life’s challenges and learn to live fully in the present moment. Rohr’s conclusion encourages readers to let go of their attachments to success, control, and certainty, and instead embrace the unknown with trust in God’s presence within all things.

Chapter 9 highlights (Ezekiel: Redemption and the Grace of God) --

Ope... I guess I didn't actually highlight anything in this chapter...

Chapter 10 highlights (It All Comes Down to Love) --

*****p. 142-143 - "The early English Franciscan brother William of Ockham (1287-1347) had an overriding principle that is still taught in philosophy classes, and is somewhat humorously called 'Occam's razor' (using the Latin spelling of his name). As he put it, 'The answer that demands the fewest assumptions is likely the correct one.' If his students wanted to discover the truth of something, he encouraged them to 'shave' away as many assumptions, beliefs, or complicating explanations as possible. Great truth might well be mysterious, Ockham believed, but it is never complex. The better answer is almost always the simpler one was his conclusion. ...  What I have tried to say in this book is that prophets are those who simplify all questions of justice, reward, and punishment by a simple appeal to divine love. God's infinite, self-giving care is the only needed assumption, cause, factor, or possible variable in the drama of creation. All else must be 'shaved' away as creating needless and useless complexity -- which only confuses the soul and the mind. ... This is the nature of mature, mystical religion -- simple and clear."

*****p. 145 - "I have met too many saintly people in a confessional context whose holiness is the result of years of struggle with their darkness and their ego, which they could never completely overcome. In fact, such folks are the quite obvious norm! Our job, like that of the prophets, is to guide their struggle toward love, not to deliver them altogether from struggle."

p. 146 - "Divine light does not inflate us with the pride of "I know," but illuminates those around us with the gratitude of "I am, too" -- a kind of joining "everyone in the house." Both light and love reveal not our separate superiority, but rather our radical sameness. That quality is, in fact, the way you can tell divine light from human glaring."

**p. 147 - "The last veil to fall is when you see your own negative projections - not only your participation in the collective but also the hurts you've transmitted to others and yourself - and just want to weep. This is the universal solidarity and sympathy that I believe characterizes mystical and prophetic Christianity."

p. 149 - "Mature religion and good prophets make sure that this growth happens. They liberate us to be like God, who is love (1 John 4:8), and reveal that God is not like us, which is the purified message of almost every prophet." 

p. 154 - "Please remember that certainty - not doubt - is the opposite of faith."

p. 155 - "...we haven't understood or appreciated the prophet's unique job description in Israel: 'licensed,' internal, faithful critic of one's own people and leaders. The prophets were radical traditionalists whose conservatism ironically made them into tearful and empathetic 'progressives' by contemporary standards."

 

Yeah, that last chapter... whew... it's a doozy. So good.

This is, honestly, one of those books that I have a hard time just saying, "Oh, yeah, it's a great book. It's about ______ whatever, and everyone should read it." I don't know if it's good or not... nor if everyone should read it. But I liked it. A lot. Sure, there were a few dry sections, but there was also so much goodness. It was almost like, some chapters had too much good. I simply wanted to underline everything, and it took so long to read through them...

So, this ends my look back through The Tears of Things. I'm really glad I read it.

(tears of things - pt. 6)

I'm going to get through this book eventually...

Here is a brief synopsis and my highlights from chapters 7 & 8 of Richard Rohr's 'The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for An Age of Outrage.' 

ChatGPT summary:

In chapters 7 and 8 of The Tears of Things, Richard Rohr explores the idea that suffering and loss are essential parts of life, not to be avoided but embraced as opportunities for growth. He discusses how our society often tries to shield itself from pain, but true transformation happens when we accept our wounds. Rohr highlights how God works through these difficult moments, showing us the deeper truths of life, including the importance of compassion and humility. He encourages readers to see the "tears of things" as a sign of the beauty and meaning that can come from life's struggles, rather than something to fear or reject. These chapters remind us that growth often comes from facing the hardest parts of our journey. (chatgpt)

Chapter 7 highlights (The Alchemy of Tears: How We Learn Universal Sympathy and Grace) --

p. 96 - "Are we the only animal that cries and sheds tears as an emotional response? It seems so, but what function do they serve for us? Jesus says we should be happy if we can weep, but why? Tears seem to appear in situations of sadness, happiness, awe, and fear -- and usually come unbidden. What is their free message to us and to those who observe them? Has humanity gotten the message yet?... There is only one book in the bible named after an emotion: the book of Lamentations. (from the first two paragraphs of ch.7)

p.98 - "Has God changed, or have we just grown up enough to hear a grown-up God?"

p. 98 - "Tears reveal the depths at which and from which we care."

p. 99 - "Life is inherently sad, the prophets want us to know. Humanity is foundationally unfaithful to love and truth, they seem to shout." 

p. 99 - "Tears invite participation in a wider world and pull us out of our isolation."

p. 101 - "We all need to feel and know, at this cellular level, that we are not the first ones who have suffered, nor will we be the last. Instead, we are in one universal parade - God's 'triumphal procession,' as Paul calls it (2 Cor. 2:14)..."

p. 103 - "You don't think yourself into crying. You cry yourself, if you will allow, into daring new ways of thinking and feeling."

***p. 103 - "All things first and finally deserve tears much more than hatred, fixing, or denial." 

***p. 109-110 - "Don't believe those who tell you that you can grow while staying in full control. It is a lie. In all of our lives, deeper love has to do with giving up some measure of control... ...you must die before you die... ...Giving up control assumes there is someone to give up control to - someone I can trust to do an even better job."

p. 111ff - "Alchemy: The Process of Whole-Making" "These seven stages of alchemy are all spontaneous inner reactions to outer or conflicting events"..

p. 113 - "I began this book by saying that I saw in the prophets a slow but real movement from extended rage and anger (where many of us tire of them), through different forms of holy disorder, to tears and sadness, and then morphing into compassion as their mature response to evil and injustice."

*p. 115 - "You must cooperate with grace."

Chapter 8 (The Three Isaiahs: The Heart of Prophecy) --

p. 117 - "What has come to be known as the 'III Isaiah theory' provides a perfect example of how knowing the historical context is necessary to understanding the text. Such a view of Scripture helps us realize that real people in real contexts wrote the Bible; it did not fall out of thin air onto an inspired page. When we take Scripture literally and uncritically, with a bit of study, we can make it say whatever we want, even if it is the justification of war, slavery, fabulous private wealth, gun culture, polygamy, or genocide - all of which has been done without shame by people who read the Bible literally...

p. 117 - "Using what is known as the 'historical-critical method' of biblical interpretation gives us much more honesty and accountability in our interpretations..." 

***p. 119 - "Divine perfection is precisely the ability to include imperfection! God forgives by including the mistake and letting go of the need to punish it. We can do the same." ... "Forgiveness is not denial, but 'yes and': Yes, you did wrong, and I forgive you."

p. 123 - "...the language of redemptive suffering instead of the universally admired language of redemptive violence."

p. 124 - "...the rejected and silenced ones always expose what the culture actually idealizes."

I'd forgotten how much good stuff there was in these two chapters. Which is a reminder to myself why I should do this with every good book I read. ;)

Perhaps instead of wishing one another a "good day"... we should be wishing one another more "tear-filled days"? Or, simply, "Have a good one!" :)

Thanksgiving in minnesota (the worst drive)

Who would have guessed Minnesota would be the least wintry place we would be over the Thanksgiving holiday?

The Mrs and I ventured north a week ago today (11/25/25) to spend some time with the boy and his family (we were also joined Thanksgiving day by my sister and our daughter-in-law's mother). It was a nice time in St. Paul, and we were fairly cozy in their little house of three.

The drive there Tuesday wasn't terrible. The worst part is always getting through Chicago. It was foggy, misty, and rainy the first couple hours, but actually cleared up a big as we hit the city. Traffic did slow a few times along I-90, but never once came to a standstill. The rain picked up again a couple hours south of the Twin Cities, and got a bit heavy an hour away. Fortunately it calmed down as we rolled into St. Paul around 4:30pm. Total time was right about 8 hours, 45 minutes (just like google said).

We didn't really do much while there. Wynn is just about to start walking, and plenty mobile. He is also talking quite a bit. We were happy to hear something resembling "Grandma" and "Grandpa" soon after arriving. So we played with him, read books, took a couple walks, ordered takeout food and lived off that and leftovers.

It snowed a few inches on top of the rain Tuesday night into Wednesday morning, so Wednesday we needed to buy a snow shovel and ice scraper for our hosts.

Thursday (Thanksgiving day) my sister arrived around 1:30, and Ricci's mom shortly after. R's mom made the turkey (our hosts are vegetarian). It was also her birthday, so we sang happy birthday when we had pie. The meal was devoured around 2:30 or so, then it was time for football. My sister left shortly after eating, and the rest of the day was spend lounging and snacking.

Friday we ventured out to a market at the Palace Theatre in downtown St. Paul, as well as the Minnesota Children's Museum, where Wynn got soaking wet and had to wear grandpa's t-shirt home. They were both very cool places, and only a mere 2 miles down 7th Street from their house. 

Saturday, then, is where everything went sideways, upside down, inside out, and every other type descriptor no one wants to use in winter weather...

We left St. Paul just before 7am, while it was still dark and snow had just begun to fall. The Minnesota-Wisconsin border is only about 20 minutes south, and snow had picked up, but still wasn't bad. It was maybe around Madison, WI when I began to think about the fact we might not make it home on this day. We discussed veering to my mom's house in north-central Illinois, but soon discovered a stretch of road we would have taken was already shut down due to snow. In Rockford, Illinois I considered getting a hotel for the night, but we decided to trudge on toward Chicago. At the northern-most toll plaza/rest area, we stopped to get something to eat, and traffic had been crawling at around 45 mph for miles. We went most of the rest of the way through the city around 30 mph - but at least we never came to a standstill. I almost wished we had a few times, because ice was freezing on the windshield and neither of us could see to well (see pic above). By the time we got through Chicago and to our exit at Chesterton, IN we were seriously considering getting a hotel there. It was getting dark, but I thought we would see if the snow let up any as we made the 10-mile jaunt down to route 30. It only continued to get worse, and the roads, as well as our vision, deteriorated with every slowly passing mile. This is when I kicked myself for not having already stopped for the day. I was also getting more and more worried not only about not making it home, but not even making it to a hotel. Somehow - likely by the grace of God - we made it to Warsaw, IN. A mere 43 miles from our house, but I could no longer see straight, and that section of route 30 was closed. So we stopped at Meijer and got some wine and cheese, and found a room at the Tru by Hilton Hotel. Probably the best $100 I've spent in a while.

All told, Saturday's 564-mile trip that should have taken just under 9 hours, took just over 12 to get even that close to home. Had we not stopped, it would have been at least 14 hours all the way. The most miserable winter weather I can ever remember driving in. I stopped counting cars and semis in the ditch at a dozen, and there were probably that many more. I'm hoping to recover from the trauma at some point, because it is much too early in the winter to already be afraid to drive anywhere...

In spite of that, though, it WAS a nice trip. We have much to be thankful for. So, here's a couple pics to remember the good part.

The last mow (again/maybe)

I thought I recorded the last mowing on November 10th. However, I’ve mowed twice again since then. 

I thought I was simply grinding and bagging the leaves with the mower, but I’ll be darned if the grass wasn’t still growing. 

So, this past Sunday, November 23rd, I mowed one last time (hopefully). It looked nice and clean. Now if the city will come and get the leaves before the snow covers them, all should be well with the lawn for the winter. 

The end.