So I came across a new site...Food Coach NYC and a recipe for Cacao, Avocado & Coconut Pudding - I MUST make this this weekend!!! I don't have any coconut butter, so I will need to pick some up...
I LOVE avocados, and honestly have not tried any "sweet" recipes with avocado, always savory / guacamole type...
Def. going to try this!
ETA - another recipe I need to try:
instead of banana, using peanut butter!
Banana (Peanut Butter) Bread
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
ICLW! :)
So...I don't know what the rules are...but I am "stealing" an idea from a fellow blogger's blog for ICLW! My fellow blogger A Blanket 2 Keep. :)
I'd LOVE more followers - so here's a little survey to get to know you, and me! I'm doing mine a little differently...(just because no one has tagged me. hehe)
Getting to Know You
1 - Post the rules
2 - Answer the 11 questions from the person who tagged you (I wasn't tagged, so I'm making up some questions)
3 - Create 11 new questions for you to answer
4 - Do this on your own blog!
1. What is something people are surprised to know about you?
I have a hearing aid. I constantly have to have people speak up or repeat themselves and then I show them my hearing aid (which is very hard to see...)
2. What is your favorite TV show?
This is always a tough one, as it depends on what's on NOW! lol. My favorites include True Blood (oooooh Eric Northman!), Smash (new, great show!), anything on HGTV, How I Met Your Mother (go NPH!)
I'd LOVE more followers - so here's a little survey to get to know you, and me! I'm doing mine a little differently...(just because no one has tagged me. hehe)
Getting to Know You
1 - Post the rules
2 - Answer the 11 questions from the person who tagged you (I wasn't tagged, so I'm making up some questions)
3 - Create 11 new questions for you to answer
4 - Do this on your own blog!
1. What is something people are surprised to know about you?
I have a hearing aid. I constantly have to have people speak up or repeat themselves and then I show them my hearing aid (which is very hard to see...)
2. What is your favorite TV show?
This is always a tough one, as it depends on what's on NOW! lol. My favorites include True Blood (oooooh Eric Northman!), Smash (new, great show!), anything on HGTV, How I Met Your Mother (go NPH!)
3. What is your dream vacation?
My dream vacation would to be to go to Australia...but another dream of mine is coming true in a month and a half...as I am going to Europe for 3 weeks!
4. What's the farthest you've ever traveled from home?
In 2006 I went to Belize with a friend of mine. It was PARADISE!
(stealing this one from her questions/blog)
5. If you could hire your own nutritionist, fitness trainer or personal chef, which would you choose and why?
Absolutely no question - personal chef. BUT they would have to (of course) be a LOW CARB personal chef and be able to make all the delicious low carb recipes I find on the 'net as well as have breakfast, lunch (prepared so I can take to work with me) and dinner ready for me!
6. What is your favorite sport to play? To watch?
Well I played softball when I was a young child and love playing...but I was on the Ultimate Frisbee team in college. I may not have been good at it, but it was so fun!
To watch - hands down, baseball, in the stadium. GO CUBS!
7. How many tattoos do you have?
I have 6, currently. I'd love to get more - but my husband actually hates tattoos! I got them all before we met. I know way in the future I WILL get our children's names tattooed somewhere...
8. What are your favorite 80's movies?
Hands down my favorite movie of all time has always been Dirty Dancing. But I'm also a huge fan of all three Back to the Future movies.
9. Harry Potter or Twighlight?
I've actually not read Twighlight yet! I know one day I will....but I haven't. I LOVE Harry Potter though and have read all 7 AND listened to all 7 audiobooks (at least 4 times...in a row). I have the movies on my iPod and listen to them at work!
10. How many cities have you lived in?
4 - The one I grew up in, the one I went to college in, the one I moved to after college (sister-city to the one I grew up in) and where I live now.
11. What type of music do you listen to?
I absolutely LOVE Jazz. But I listen to country, pop, jazz, indy-rock, classic-rock - pretty much anything except rap/hip-hop (and even some of that...)
Here are my questions:
1. What kind of books do you read / who's your favorite author?
2. How many pets do you have? Names?
3. What names do you want to use for your future children?
4. How long have you been trying to conceive?
5. What's your favorite piece of playground equipment from when you were a child?
6. Ketchup or Mustard?
7. Favorite professional sports team?
8. If you could choose ONE room in your house to get an HGTV makeover, which room would it be?
9. If you could live the life of one movie (character) - what movie would it be?
10. If you like arts/crafts, what's your favorite thing to do? (paint, scrapbook, draw, etc?)
11. If you could live anywhere (and keep things such as your job, so you would want to...) where would it be?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Low Carb Living...
So I'm not sure that I've actually posted WHY I'm all about low-carb. I posted a while back, the story of my life (health-wise) and that I've been 'dieting' since I was 12 years old.
Then in 2009 I was introduced to the most wonderful thing I could have ever learned - the low carb lifestyle!
In my previous post (see here - "Diet or Lifestyle") I posted about the fact that it was my doctor who told me to go low-carb and I thought she was insane. I mean I KNEW what was "healthy" and FAT IS NOT HEALTHY...right???
Oh how wrong I was...I remember looking on an atkins' message board and seeing people talk about "go eat a big ol' fatty piece of cheese, if you're hungry" and "go eat some bacon" and all that jazz...I was absolutely aghast thinking "seriously????"
So for a full year I didn't listen to my doctor (she told me in Oct 2007 to go low carb...) and so for the year of 2008 I tried and tried to do what I knew and that was the conventional low-fat, high-carb. Plus - HOW could I give up my beloved potato???!!!!
But when lost, only to regain, a total of 15 pounds in 2008, it was January 1, 2009 that I decided to go low carb. That month alone, I lost 10 pounds! In 2009 I lost a total of 33 pounds going from 193 to 160. It was FABULOUS! I was eating cheese and bacon and avocados and NOT having to "count points" or "calories" or anything!!!
I kept it off until right before our wedding in 2010. I gained back about 5 pounds, right before the wedding - but didn't think anything of it. Then on our honeymoon, well it was our HONEYMOON...you know? It wouldn't matter...right? I could eat whatever I wanted!
It was in March of 2010 that I went off of birth control. Our wedding was in June, but I figured IF anything happened...I'd only be 3 months pregnant at the wedding, lol.
And - so - that was my decline down the slippery slope of carbs...I kept thinking "well, I'm going to be pregnant soon, so a few carbs here and there won't matter!" Yeah - famous last words...
Those "few carbs" turned into fries 2-3 nights a week, buns on everything and just full blown CARBS! ugh.
I knew what I was doing was NOT good for my health - but the more the months passed on withOUT us getting pregnant, the more I kept getting depressed and thinking "It doesn't matter"...
So especially after we found out we were dealing with infertility - THAT just made things sooooo much worse.
I absolutely missed eating low-carb, but those wonderful awesome carby-sugary foods kept calling my name! ANNNND 33 pounds later, I was right back to where I started.
And, I was miserable. I must admit. While all those high-carb, high-sugar foods TASTED good, somewhere deep inside me, I just knew it was wrong. No joke.
But I also didn't care after a while...
So we went in to meet with a ReProductive Endocrinologist to see what our options were - she told me, "you need to be in a healthy metabolic range". Personally I don't believe in BMI and think that number is bunk - BUT she had a point. I knew I had gained all the weight back and I also knew I was SO much happier - mentally and physically - when I was eating low-carb.
So - that night - I went back LC - cold turkey!
I love the low-carb lifestyle. For one thing - when I eat, I don't have that "bloated" feeling like I do when I'm eating all that junk. I also LOVE the low-carb community online! It's such an amazing helpful community that - even as no-name woman out here in the world, I feel like I'm a part of something HUGE!
Low-Carb has also introduced me to so many foods that I'd have NEVER eaten before! Coconut Oil, Chia Seeds, Flax-SeedsAlmond Flour, full-fat bacon, full-fat cottage cheese, full-fat EVERYTHING!!
It just makes me feel AWESOME knowing that I'm eating the way we were meant to eat. Low-Fat is NOT healthy. Plus, low-fat doesn't taste good anyways! lol.
Also - being Insulin Resistant, I do not want to end up full-blown diabetic like people in my family.
This time around the weight is coming off SO much slower than it did that first time...it's been 1 month and I'm only down 5 pounds. BUT hey - I'M DOWN 5 POUNDS! :)
I mean, seriously - how AWESOME is that??!!
And - I'm only concentrating on the weight because my RE (who also told me to go back on Low Carb) wants me to be in that "healthy metabolic range" - which I personally think is BUNK and always have...to look at me, you'd NEVER in a million years call me "fat" or "overweight" - but 5 pounds ago, I was technically "obese".
I tell people I have 33 pounds to lose and they look at me and ask "from where??" (that makes me feel good! haha). I have a lot of muscle and am healthy. But if I have to lose 33 pounds in order to do IVF, then damnit, I will lose 33 pounds!
Then in 2009 I was introduced to the most wonderful thing I could have ever learned - the low carb lifestyle!
In my previous post (see here - "Diet or Lifestyle") I posted about the fact that it was my doctor who told me to go low-carb and I thought she was insane. I mean I KNEW what was "healthy" and FAT IS NOT HEALTHY...right???
Oh how wrong I was...I remember looking on an atkins' message board and seeing people talk about "go eat a big ol' fatty piece of cheese, if you're hungry" and "go eat some bacon" and all that jazz...I was absolutely aghast thinking "seriously????"
So for a full year I didn't listen to my doctor (she told me in Oct 2007 to go low carb...) and so for the year of 2008 I tried and tried to do what I knew and that was the conventional low-fat, high-carb. Plus - HOW could I give up my beloved potato???!!!!
But when lost, only to regain, a total of 15 pounds in 2008, it was January 1, 2009 that I decided to go low carb. That month alone, I lost 10 pounds! In 2009 I lost a total of 33 pounds going from 193 to 160. It was FABULOUS! I was eating cheese and bacon and avocados and NOT having to "count points" or "calories" or anything!!!
I kept it off until right before our wedding in 2010. I gained back about 5 pounds, right before the wedding - but didn't think anything of it. Then on our honeymoon, well it was our HONEYMOON...you know? It wouldn't matter...right? I could eat whatever I wanted!
It was in March of 2010 that I went off of birth control. Our wedding was in June, but I figured IF anything happened...I'd only be 3 months pregnant at the wedding, lol.
And - so - that was my decline down the slippery slope of carbs...I kept thinking "well, I'm going to be pregnant soon, so a few carbs here and there won't matter!" Yeah - famous last words...
Those "few carbs" turned into fries 2-3 nights a week, buns on everything and just full blown CARBS! ugh.
I knew what I was doing was NOT good for my health - but the more the months passed on withOUT us getting pregnant, the more I kept getting depressed and thinking "It doesn't matter"...
So especially after we found out we were dealing with infertility - THAT just made things sooooo much worse.
I absolutely missed eating low-carb, but those wonderful awesome carby-sugary foods kept calling my name! ANNNND 33 pounds later, I was right back to where I started.
And, I was miserable. I must admit. While all those high-carb, high-sugar foods TASTED good, somewhere deep inside me, I just knew it was wrong. No joke.
But I also didn't care after a while...
So we went in to meet with a ReProductive Endocrinologist to see what our options were - she told me, "you need to be in a healthy metabolic range". Personally I don't believe in BMI and think that number is bunk - BUT she had a point. I knew I had gained all the weight back and I also knew I was SO much happier - mentally and physically - when I was eating low-carb.
So - that night - I went back LC - cold turkey!
I love the low-carb lifestyle. For one thing - when I eat, I don't have that "bloated" feeling like I do when I'm eating all that junk. I also LOVE the low-carb community online! It's such an amazing helpful community that - even as no-name woman out here in the world, I feel like I'm a part of something HUGE!
Low-Carb has also introduced me to so many foods that I'd have NEVER eaten before! Coconut Oil, Chia Seeds, Flax-SeedsAlmond Flour, full-fat bacon, full-fat cottage cheese, full-fat EVERYTHING!!
It just makes me feel AWESOME knowing that I'm eating the way we were meant to eat. Low-Fat is NOT healthy. Plus, low-fat doesn't taste good anyways! lol.
Also - being Insulin Resistant, I do not want to end up full-blown diabetic like people in my family.
This time around the weight is coming off SO much slower than it did that first time...it's been 1 month and I'm only down 5 pounds. BUT hey - I'M DOWN 5 POUNDS! :)
I mean, seriously - how AWESOME is that??!!
And - I'm only concentrating on the weight because my RE (who also told me to go back on Low Carb) wants me to be in that "healthy metabolic range" - which I personally think is BUNK and always have...to look at me, you'd NEVER in a million years call me "fat" or "overweight" - but 5 pounds ago, I was technically "obese".
I tell people I have 33 pounds to lose and they look at me and ask "from where??" (that makes me feel good! haha). I have a lot of muscle and am healthy. But if I have to lose 33 pounds in order to do IVF, then damnit, I will lose 33 pounds!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Trying out a new template and name...
please bear with me. :) I'm trying out a new template (or two) and this will change here in the next few days.
Do you like the new title and graphic?
Do you like the new title and graphic?
Monday, February 20, 2012
I feel like such a bitch...
And I didn't even DO anything! haha.
So a good friend of mine at work just announced on FB she's pregnant. Iwant to be am EXTREMELY happy for her...but damnit it is just so hard...
She and her husband are INCREDIBLE people and I really am happy for them - they will make awesome parents - but part of me just feels like "damnit! really??!!! WHEN'S IT GOING TO BE MY TURN???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I just had to have a bitchy moment.
God Infertility SUCKS!
So a good friend of mine at work just announced on FB she's pregnant. I
She and her husband are INCREDIBLE people and I really am happy for them - they will make awesome parents - but part of me just feels like "damnit! really??!!! WHEN'S IT GOING TO BE MY TURN???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I just had to have a bitchy moment.
God Infertility SUCKS!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Do I even have that "Mommy 'gene'"?
Ok, this may be a long post - but could be short...who knows - either way, bear with me. :)
So many many times I've thought to myself "what does it mean to WANT to have a baby?".
Are we at the right age? Yes - absolutely...we're way PAST the age most people have their first (I'm 32, he's 38 - we'll be 33/39 this year).
Are we married? Do we have that loving/stable home? Do we have parents who want to be grandparents? Do I ooh and ahh over all things baby right now?
Yes...yes...yes and absolutely YES!
However...sometimes I just do NOT feel that I have that "Mommy Gene" or "Maternal Instinct" you know?
Yes - we both want a baby so very bad that we will be spending over $14,000 just to try and get pregnant...
But what do we do with him/her once he/she is here?
I'm NOT the "suzy homemaker" type of person (and my husband hates that - I know he'd love it if I were! haha). I work 40+ hours a week...and I still feel like I'm a teenager sometimes, like I'm NOT old enough to have a baby yet...but I am 32 years old. In FERTILITY age...that's almost ancient.
There are some days that I forget to feed our dogs (we have 2). Obviously I know I would NOT forget to feed my baby...but that goes through my mind...
I've never really been around babies - except when I was like 13 and two of my cousins (brothers) had them back to back...and my mom and I would babysit them - but I was only 13! lol.
I see women all the time with their babies and yes, they are beautiful and I want to hold them and cuddle them and I DO want one of my own...but not really having that "maternal instinct" sorta scares me.
We have a small but cute bungalow house. The main floor is 863 square feet and only 2 bedrooms, 1 small bath. The main bedroom being, of course, ours...and the guest room is also my office / craft room...which will EVENTUALLY become (hopefully this year) a nursery. We have a basement (which is unfinished, but livable...we have a TV and two couches down there and a small carpet remnant under that area so I can exercise...in one corner of the basement...a pool table in another corner/side of the basement - our laundry is down there and shelves for extra pantry storage, since our kitchen is so small...
BUT we love it. We only pay $600 / month for our mortgage...which is, of course, unheard of! so of course I'm always (now anyways) thinking of how we can make the basement more into a guestroom since the guest room will become our nursery.
I know that having a baby will change EVERYTHING...and I'm very excited about that yet at the same time, terrified. And I know that's natural...but still terrifying! lol.
But I'm going to admit right here and now...I have NO clue as to what I'm doing! I've waited to start my own family for years because of all the excuses (biggest REASON was not being married! haha)...but wanting to be in a good financial position...wanting to have my career established...wanting to have a stable husband and home.
And - now that we have all that - and we DO WANT a baby...I have no idea what I'm doing some days! :)
But - on the other hand there are so many days when I'm home on a saturday or sunday (such as today, for example) where I just WISH I had a baby to take care of...because I'm bored!
Oh I dunno. I know we want a baby and I know we are ready...but some days I'm terrified that I have no idea what I'm getting myself into!
So many many times I've thought to myself "what does it mean to WANT to have a baby?".
Are we at the right age? Yes - absolutely...we're way PAST the age most people have their first (I'm 32, he's 38 - we'll be 33/39 this year).
Are we married? Do we have that loving/stable home? Do we have parents who want to be grandparents? Do I ooh and ahh over all things baby right now?
Yes...yes...yes and absolutely YES!
However...sometimes I just do NOT feel that I have that "Mommy Gene" or "Maternal Instinct" you know?
Yes - we both want a baby so very bad that we will be spending over $14,000 just to try and get pregnant...
But what do we do with him/her once he/she is here?
I'm NOT the "suzy homemaker" type of person (and my husband hates that - I know he'd love it if I were! haha). I work 40+ hours a week...and I still feel like I'm a teenager sometimes, like I'm NOT old enough to have a baby yet...but I am 32 years old. In FERTILITY age...that's almost ancient.
There are some days that I forget to feed our dogs (we have 2). Obviously I know I would NOT forget to feed my baby...but that goes through my mind...
I've never really been around babies - except when I was like 13 and two of my cousins (brothers) had them back to back...and my mom and I would babysit them - but I was only 13! lol.
I see women all the time with their babies and yes, they are beautiful and I want to hold them and cuddle them and I DO want one of my own...but not really having that "maternal instinct" sorta scares me.
We have a small but cute bungalow house. The main floor is 863 square feet and only 2 bedrooms, 1 small bath. The main bedroom being, of course, ours...and the guest room is also my office / craft room...which will EVENTUALLY become (hopefully this year) a nursery. We have a basement (which is unfinished, but livable...we have a TV and two couches down there and a small carpet remnant under that area so I can exercise...in one corner of the basement...a pool table in another corner/side of the basement - our laundry is down there and shelves for extra pantry storage, since our kitchen is so small...
BUT we love it. We only pay $600 / month for our mortgage...which is, of course, unheard of! so of course I'm always (now anyways) thinking of how we can make the basement more into a guestroom since the guest room will become our nursery.
I know that having a baby will change EVERYTHING...and I'm very excited about that yet at the same time, terrified. And I know that's natural...but still terrifying! lol.
But I'm going to admit right here and now...I have NO clue as to what I'm doing! I've waited to start my own family for years because of all the excuses (biggest REASON was not being married! haha)...but wanting to be in a good financial position...wanting to have my career established...wanting to have a stable husband and home.
And - now that we have all that - and we DO WANT a baby...I have no idea what I'm doing some days! :)
But - on the other hand there are so many days when I'm home on a saturday or sunday (such as today, for example) where I just WISH I had a baby to take care of...because I'm bored!
Oh I dunno. I know we want a baby and I know we are ready...but some days I'm terrified that I have no idea what I'm getting myself into!
5 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks...
I AM getting frustrated - but I REFUSE to give up.
Starting weight - January 24 = 193 lbs
Current weight - February 19 = 188 lbs
damn that's almost 1 month and only 5 flipping pounds.
Even though it's frustrating, though - I'm MORE determined to do it JUST to prove that damn scale I can do it!
Starting weight - January 24 = 193 lbs
Current weight - February 19 = 188 lbs
damn that's almost 1 month and only 5 flipping pounds.
Even though it's frustrating, though - I'm MORE determined to do it JUST to prove that damn scale I can do it!
Friday, February 17, 2012
"Until we get you pregnant"...
Before I start - EVERYTHING I'm talking about here is from googling information...
So I went int for my cycle day 3 blood work. They tested my FSH, Thyroid, Estradiol, something else (I forget) and prolactin. They also sent off for the "infectious diseases" just because that's protocol.
So the FSH, Thyroid, Estradiol all came back OK - no problems...but the prolactin was high. So she put me on Parlodel (Bromocriptine).
So I am a googler...any time I'm put on a new medication I need to know its side effects and if there's anything to worry about...especially when it comes to whether or not a medication can cause weight gain...
Actually - this new one, if you google "Bromocriptine" and "weight loss" - you will actually find a LOT of information that Bromocriptine is used in the help of weight loss! score! lol. :)
AND...something else I found out - the Trazodone that I take for my insomnia...if you google Trazodone there's really not a lot of information regarding it and weight gain...HOWEVER - there IS a lot of information regarding it raising Prolactin...and when your Prolactin raises - it's hard (if not impossible) to lose weight!
So the Bromocriptine is supposed to lower Prolactin - so I'm hoping that it balances everything out.
So I went int for my cycle day 3 blood work. They tested my FSH, Thyroid, Estradiol, something else (I forget) and prolactin. They also sent off for the "infectious diseases" just because that's protocol.
So the FSH, Thyroid, Estradiol all came back OK - no problems...but the prolactin was high. So she put me on Parlodel (Bromocriptine).
So I am a googler...any time I'm put on a new medication I need to know its side effects and if there's anything to worry about...especially when it comes to whether or not a medication can cause weight gain...
Actually - this new one, if you google "Bromocriptine" and "weight loss" - you will actually find a LOT of information that Bromocriptine is used in the help of weight loss! score! lol. :)
AND...something else I found out - the Trazodone that I take for my insomnia...if you google Trazodone there's really not a lot of information regarding it and weight gain...HOWEVER - there IS a lot of information regarding it raising Prolactin...and when your Prolactin raises - it's hard (if not impossible) to lose weight!
So the Bromocriptine is supposed to lower Prolactin - so I'm hoping that it balances everything out.
It would make sense because I really started to gain all my weight BACK after I started on the traz! And I was not eating a ton of junk by any means...so I'm going on the fact that the traz raised my prolactin - which in turn made me gain weight easily!
So my next appointment with her is in 2 weeks to see if the Bromocritptine makes a difference...but the nurse said - and I QUOTE..."we will keep you on the Bromocriptine until we get you pregnant".
GOD do I love hearing that! :D
btw - the scale still hasn't moved...only 5 pounds total in 3 weeks...BUT at least I am down. Just getting a little frustrated...I'm trying to be patient though!
So my next appointment with her is in 2 weeks to see if the Bromocritptine makes a difference...but the nurse said - and I QUOTE..."we will keep you on the Bromocriptine until we get you pregnant".
GOD do I love hearing that! :D
btw - the scale still hasn't moved...only 5 pounds total in 3 weeks...BUT at least I am down. Just getting a little frustrated...I'm trying to be patient though!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Paying $14,000 to TRY to get pregnant sucks...
HOWEVER - after talking with our accountant last night (doing our taxes for the year...) I asked him about the deductions regarding medical stuff...he said - "as long as your medical deductions are more than 7.5% of your annual gross income - it can be deducted".
so - for example - if you make $100,000 a year you have to have medical deductions more than $7,500.
While I won't say how much we make, we would def. qualify for that! So while this SUCKS that we have to pay $14,000 (and more) out of our own pockets just to try to get pregnant...it IS tax deductible!! :)
so yay! That at least makes me happy! :D
so - for example - if you make $100,000 a year you have to have medical deductions more than $7,500.
While I won't say how much we make, we would def. qualify for that! So while this SUCKS that we have to pay $14,000 (and more) out of our own pockets just to try to get pregnant...it IS tax deductible!! :)
so yay! That at least makes me happy! :D
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Cutting out the caffeine...
Ok...so I guess I never really thought I HAD a caffeine problem. For YEARS I gave up diet pop (I hate aspartame...) however it truly is addictive. I've gone back to drinking some diet pop...I'd say maybe two a week or so...as far as "regular" diet pop goes - diet coke, mainly, with a Diet Dr. Pepper thrown in here and there.
And we DID just purchase the AWESOME Soda Stream. I LOVE this thing! You can make a 1 liter bottle of soda every day and have a different flavor every night! I currently have the Diet Dr. Pete, Diet Energy and the Cola Free. I LOVE how these are made with sucralose and not aspartame...HOWEVER...many people don't think sucralose is good for you either...but to me, it's the lesser of the two evils. :)
So yeah...I've been drinking 2-3 glasses A NIGHT of my soda stream. And - of course two nights ago I had 4 that's right FOUR glasses of diet-coke at the bar...ok, wait - make that FIVE if you count my vodka diet.
Which - BTW, the scale is back down to 188.5 this morning!!! yay! :D I knew it would be...I was just frustrated yesterday! haha.
So. Yesterday I had ZERO pop...ZERO caffeine. I didn't even have my coffee!!!
Every morning I drink coffee. I usually put about 2 tbsp of half n' half and a few splashes of Sugar Free Torani Syrups - again, made with sucralose...
SO. As of yesterday...at least for the next week or two anyways - I'm temporarily giving up the caffeine as well as the sucralose.
Instead - for breakfasts - I am making protein shakes! I like to use So Delicious Unsweetened Coconut Milk which has 50 calories and 1 g carbs per cup. The protein powder I've found that I LOVE is Jay Robb Whey Protein. It's made with Stevia (instead of sucralose) and only 1 g carb per packet!
So I know it'll be hard to give up my caffeine habit - but I know it'll be worth it.
Even if it's just for a little while. :)
And we DID just purchase the AWESOME Soda Stream. I LOVE this thing! You can make a 1 liter bottle of soda every day and have a different flavor every night! I currently have the Diet Dr. Pete, Diet Energy and the Cola Free. I LOVE how these are made with sucralose and not aspartame...HOWEVER...many people don't think sucralose is good for you either...but to me, it's the lesser of the two evils. :)
So yeah...I've been drinking 2-3 glasses A NIGHT of my soda stream. And - of course two nights ago I had 4 that's right FOUR glasses of diet-coke at the bar...ok, wait - make that FIVE if you count my vodka diet.
Which - BTW, the scale is back down to 188.5 this morning!!! yay! :D I knew it would be...I was just frustrated yesterday! haha.
So. Yesterday I had ZERO pop...ZERO caffeine. I didn't even have my coffee!!!
Every morning I drink coffee. I usually put about 2 tbsp of half n' half and a few splashes of Sugar Free Torani Syrups - again, made with sucralose...
SO. As of yesterday...at least for the next week or two anyways - I'm temporarily giving up the caffeine as well as the sucralose.
Instead - for breakfasts - I am making protein shakes! I like to use So Delicious Unsweetened Coconut Milk which has 50 calories and 1 g carbs per cup. The protein powder I've found that I LOVE is Jay Robb Whey Protein. It's made with Stevia (instead of sucralose) and only 1 g carb per packet!
So I know it'll be hard to give up my caffeine habit - but I know it'll be worth it.
Even if it's just for a little while. :)
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Acupuncture and blood work...
So I had my acupuncture appointment this morning. I liked it! It was a very short session - because mainly it was a 'get to know you' thing so the actual session lasted like 5 minutes...
We talked alot about me wanting/needing to lose weight to do IVF and also the fact that I haven't had ANY blood work done regarding my own fertility. Other than the HSG test I had done last June - I haven't had ANY type of testing on my end. NONE what.so.ever.
I like the oBbgyn I started seeing, but she didn't see any cause for alarm - because I have a 25/30 day cycle and ovulate on the 14th of every month. So they didn't do ANY more testing. Everything has been focused on my husband.
So that's a step I need to take. I'll call monday morning to talk to them about it. I also need to call and get an appointment with their finance office to see what our financing options are.
So yeah. I'm also doing a "flush" of my body right now...I know it's all the sodium and pop I drank...and I've been hitting the soda stream I bought pretty heavily...so this week I'm laying off the pop AND the coffee and instead drinking my coconut milk smoothies in the morning. :) Get rid of the caffeine and all that.
Also going to TRY and not step on that scale until next Sunday! (that's such a hard one! lol)
We talked alot about me wanting/needing to lose weight to do IVF and also the fact that I haven't had ANY blood work done regarding my own fertility. Other than the HSG test I had done last June - I haven't had ANY type of testing on my end. NONE what.so.ever.
I like the oBbgyn I started seeing, but she didn't see any cause for alarm - because I have a 25/30 day cycle and ovulate on the 14th of every month. So they didn't do ANY more testing. Everything has been focused on my husband.
So that's a step I need to take. I'll call monday morning to talk to them about it. I also need to call and get an appointment with their finance office to see what our financing options are.
So yeah. I'm also doing a "flush" of my body right now...I know it's all the sodium and pop I drank...and I've been hitting the soda stream I bought pretty heavily...so this week I'm laying off the pop AND the coffee and instead drinking my coconut milk smoothies in the morning. :) Get rid of the caffeine and all that.
Also going to TRY and not step on that scale until next Sunday! (that's such a hard one! lol)
I flipping hate the scale.
ok, so I ate a lot last night AND drank a lot of pop...I'm seriously hoping that it's just water and/or salt retention...but i'm up to 191.5 this morning. I was down to 188 the last couple days.
I STARTED at 193...wtf?
So we went out for dinner with my husband's brother and sister-in-law. We went to the italian resteraunt, Bucca Di Beppo. I thought I did really darn good getting Veal Saltimbocca (Veal in butter sauce). I had some salad and Caprese (tomato, basil and mozzarella) for an appetizer. Then we went out to a bar that we all like and sat there for like 5 hours listening to a blues band...I did NOT want to drink...but one thing about my friends "WHY AREN'T YOU DRINKING?????? WHY AREN'T YOU DRINKING?????" ugh. go the fuck away. seriously? why does it matter to you? My SIL put down - I am not exaggerating - like 10 mixed drinks last night (all the same drink, just 10 total)...my BIL wasn't drinking, because he can't with his diabetes...so apparently it's OK for him not to drink...and of course my husband drank like 8 or 9 beers. I had ONE vodka diet (and one glass of wine with dinner)...so I then stuck to diet coke all night (probably had 4 glasses of it in a 5 hour time period).
Now I really don't drink diet pop...I gave it up YEARS ago and only drink it literally on occasion like MAYBE once/twice a month...not 4 glasses in a 4-5 hour period. but I didn't want to drink any alcohol...
And then they ordered nachos...so Yes I ate JUST the toppings (literally scraping the toppings off - didn't touch the nachos).
I'd have been ok with knowing the scale would probably be up a little this morning - like 1 pound...but 3.5????
Now it does make me think back...this happens a lot to me when I have a lot of salt...and I'm really hoping it goes back down tomorrow...but FREAKIN' DAMNIT! I've been back on Low Carb for almost three weeks now...and I have a 1.5 pound loss to show for it???!!!!!
I know that LC is the ONLY healthy way for me to lose weight. I REFUSE on principal to go back to eating carbs. so DAMNIT! ugh.
LIke I said - hopefully tomorrow I will be back down and it's just water/salt retention...but ugh.
In other news...my first acupuncture appointment is in 55 minutes! I'll post more about that later! :D
I STARTED at 193...wtf?
So we went out for dinner with my husband's brother and sister-in-law. We went to the italian resteraunt, Bucca Di Beppo. I thought I did really darn good getting Veal Saltimbocca (Veal in butter sauce). I had some salad and Caprese (tomato, basil and mozzarella) for an appetizer. Then we went out to a bar that we all like and sat there for like 5 hours listening to a blues band...I did NOT want to drink...but one thing about my friends "WHY AREN'T YOU DRINKING?????? WHY AREN'T YOU DRINKING?????" ugh. go the fuck away. seriously? why does it matter to you? My SIL put down - I am not exaggerating - like 10 mixed drinks last night (all the same drink, just 10 total)...my BIL wasn't drinking, because he can't with his diabetes...so apparently it's OK for him not to drink...and of course my husband drank like 8 or 9 beers. I had ONE vodka diet (and one glass of wine with dinner)...so I then stuck to diet coke all night (probably had 4 glasses of it in a 5 hour time period).
Now I really don't drink diet pop...I gave it up YEARS ago and only drink it literally on occasion like MAYBE once/twice a month...not 4 glasses in a 4-5 hour period. but I didn't want to drink any alcohol...
And then they ordered nachos...so Yes I ate JUST the toppings (literally scraping the toppings off - didn't touch the nachos).
I'd have been ok with knowing the scale would probably be up a little this morning - like 1 pound...but 3.5????
Now it does make me think back...this happens a lot to me when I have a lot of salt...and I'm really hoping it goes back down tomorrow...but FREAKIN' DAMNIT! I've been back on Low Carb for almost three weeks now...and I have a 1.5 pound loss to show for it???!!!!!
I know that LC is the ONLY healthy way for me to lose weight. I REFUSE on principal to go back to eating carbs. so DAMNIT! ugh.
LIke I said - hopefully tomorrow I will be back down and it's just water/salt retention...but ugh.
In other news...my first acupuncture appointment is in 55 minutes! I'll post more about that later! :D
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
5 pounds down, 28 to go!!!
So I've been back on Low Carb now for 2 weeks. So in 14 days I've dropped 5 pounds! That's actually a lot less that I've done in the past...BUT I am SO happy I'm down 5 pounds! :)
One thing I did differently yesterday that I'm going to keep doing is...coconut oil!! :D
One food item that is HUGE in the Low Carb world is Coconut Oil. I used to use it all the time when I first started LC a few years ago - but haven't used it in a long time...it is a little expensive - but it's an AWESOME food...
Coconut Oil has so many healing properties and it's just darn right good for you! Go to that link for more information on it - but the biggest thing about CO is the fact that it's got medium chain fatty acids or MCFA's. MCFA's are basically a "good fat" which is absorbed and digested by the body and used as energy. Whereas long chain fatty acids are stored as fat.
But coconut oil is very well known for its weight loss properties and yesterday I put a tbsp in my coffee (like I used to do sometimes...) and I am down a whole pound this morning!!!
I need to make some Coconut Oil Fudge/Recipes. :)
Well off to work with me!
One thing I did differently yesterday that I'm going to keep doing is...coconut oil!! :D
One food item that is HUGE in the Low Carb world is Coconut Oil. I used to use it all the time when I first started LC a few years ago - but haven't used it in a long time...it is a little expensive - but it's an AWESOME food...
Coconut Oil has so many healing properties and it's just darn right good for you! Go to that link for more information on it - but the biggest thing about CO is the fact that it's got medium chain fatty acids or MCFA's. MCFA's are basically a "good fat" which is absorbed and digested by the body and used as energy. Whereas long chain fatty acids are stored as fat.
But coconut oil is very well known for its weight loss properties and yesterday I put a tbsp in my coffee (like I used to do sometimes...) and I am down a whole pound this morning!!!
I need to make some Coconut Oil Fudge/Recipes. :)
Well off to work with me!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I had a dream last night...
And it was definitely one of the weirder dreams I've had in a while...i was finally pregnant- but I had to undergo some surgery so that they could remove the baby from me and implant it into my sister in law (who lives in florida...brother's wife). And it was like this was some natural thing. I remember being on the phone with my mom asking how I could get custody or if we'd have to share custody...
that was really the jist of the dream...but weird all the same! haha
that was really the jist of the dream...but weird all the same! haha
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Diet or "Lifestyle change"...isn't it the same thing anymore? (long post)
Ok - so in order to be able to do IVF this summer, our RE told me I need to be in a "healthy metabolic range". Ok. Really no problem! lol. I've been 'dieting' since I was 12 years old. Literally....
When I was a teenager I was about 220 pounds at 14 years old. Yeah I was the fat kid. BUT my parents really didn't know better - as far as how to eat right - since this was the early 90's and they were products of the 50's/60's/70's when 'convenience foods' came into the US lifestyle...after WWII and the stock market crash - everyone wanted FAST foods to prepare (not "fast food"..) but fast foods as far as pre-packaged processed (crap) food to make life easier. Especially since women were entering the work force and didn't have time to have a meal prepared for their family every single night from scratch like our grandparents, great-grandparents and before them did.
So our parents had hamburger helper and pizza hut and "fast convenience" foods that they didn't exactly have growing up...
I'm not blaming my (wonderful) parents by any means...I just know I was more a "victim of circumstance" hehe.
So anyways - I was a thin child and was very active - playing softball as a kid - but when I hit middle school, I stopped playing/being active and was always shy anyways...and in 6th grade I remember weighing 125...which looking back was still big for a 12 year old...but then when I hit 7th grade...13 years old...well let's just say I have blocked out most of 7th grade. Even though I was a straight A student - I was absolutely bullied. I won't get into the whole "bullying" thing here - but I totally get what the movement is about now, as far as really trying to stop bullying. Although - even as a bullied child...I say good luck. I don't think it'll ever end...
SO - in 7th grade I gained 100 pounds. BECAUSE of the bullying...I'd come home balling my eyes out and eat as soon as I hit the door. White bread sandwiches with Mayo and bologna sandwiches...then I'd go to sleep until mom woke me for dinner (ok, so I'm sure this wasn't EVERY day...but I remember that happening...) PLUS...again - my parents didn't/couldn't have realized it was all the CRAP the gov't was putting into that packaged food...
So I weighed 220 pounds in 7th grade and actually "maintained" that for a couple of years...and when I hit 10th grade (yeah, three years later)...between the summer of my 10th and 11th grade I was in Marching Band. I also was 'forced' (lol) to take the dreaded mandatory gym class with swimming - so I took that in the summer. That dreaded gym class, however, combined with Marching Band - all that movement! I dropped 70 pounds! Oh yeah, I also wasn't allowed a drivers license - even though I was 16 years old - so I rode my bike EVERYWHERE...
So of course, here I was - extremely naive - thinking "sweet! I've lost weight! I'm thin! I can eat whatever I want like my size 4 best friend!" (who even to this day - no matter what she eats is frickin' stick thin...)
Well - so of course I go to college and yeah...I didn't gain the freshman 15 - I gained the sophomore 70! Yup. gained ALL of it back! :(
But - I can tell you - I have great memories of those midnight / 2 a.m. stops at the ihop with my friends after a night of drinking for a huge hamburger and fries...lol
So my junior year of college I started playing Ultimate Frisbee and also started weight watchers. I wasn't too serious about the weight watchers at the time - I did lose about 30 pounds...but gained it ALL back. Again.
When I graduated college I was at 220 pounds. Again. (I HATE my college graduation pics! lol)
SO. After I graduated I was SO sick and tired of being fat - so I went back to weight watchers - stuck to it and lost 60 pounds!!! I hit "lifetime" as a weight watcher and actually kept if off for a few years! This was (started in) September 2003. In April 2004 I moved to the city I live in now and - again - I did maintain WW and the "lifestyle" of counting points for a good year or two...but then slowly it came back on.
It's funny...I moved here in 2004 and that next year...April 2004 to June 2005 was one of the longest years of my life! ONE year! haha. In June of 2005 I started at the company where I currently am and have been for 6.5 years now! :D
So anyways - that year had me trying to find a job, a boyfriend, friends in general...tons of heart break (won't even go into the guys I dated during this time, thanks match.com! haha and weight gain.)
In November 2005 I met a guy (and was about 185 - up from my comfy/good 160) and it was a disaster...I thought I'd found "the one" but after 2 months - he decided to go back to his "cocaine habit"...I was absolutely crushed. Literally for 6 months straight I cried over him...
But then 8 months after we'd broken up, I met my (now) incredible husband!!
So - we started dating and I tried getting my weight back in check. I went back to Weight Watchers but no matter how much I counted points - how much I went to the gym - it didn't matter...I couldn't lose a single pound. Literally. I weighed exactly 193 (which is my new number! haha)...
So I went to the doc who did some blood work and told me I was "insulin resistant". Um WTH??? SHE told me to "cut the carbs" and try Atkins...but - of course - having done weight watchers (famously 'low fat') and doing very little research ON atkins - I thought she was nuts...so for a year I just tried dieting - with really no success and finally a YEAR later (2008) I decided...OK she must be on to something...
So January 2008 I started atkins. I went from 193 down to 160 and LOVED this new "lifestyle"! And - a year and a half later...after going low-carb I looked AWESOME and SKINNY in my wedding dress (even though the dress itself was a size 18 - I had it taken in like 4 inches in the middle...I have very broad shoulders...and, btw, i'm 5'7").
BUT...of course...after the wedding I started slipping - thinking I could eat carbs here and there...and ...well...a year after the wedding I found myself BACK UP to 193. Mainly because I had gone off BC about 2 months prior to our wedding and in the past 2 years of TTC - I've been thinking "well, it won't matter once I'm pregnant anyways..." (immortal last words)
And that's where I've been for about a year now. THANKFULLY I didn't gain more than the 33 I lost...but still.
SO - we now find ourselves faced with the reality that we both suffer from fertility issues and MUST do IVF. And in order to be able to DO IVF I have to lose this weight. AGAIN.
Like I said in my previous post - I even told the RE I've lost weight so many times...and I love low carb - and without hesitation, she said, "well then go back low carb".
Ok. So I am.
So again, I've done the low-fat/weight watchers thing - and while...for so many years I THOUGHT that was the healthy way to eat - my mind has been completely turned around and I now know that low-carb/gluten-free(for the most part)/HIGH FAT truly is the healthiest way to eat for LIFE.
Now - the first time I went low carb, I HAD to follow a plan. I am absolutely an "all or nothing" type of person and followed the steps of the atkins ladder to a T. Journaling my food, knowing exactly how many carbs I ate...etc...and I wouldn't allow myself to NOT eat on plan because I'm also the type that if I slipped up - I'd give up...but I've also come to the thought..."If you're driving along and one tire blows, do you get out and blow out the rest?" no you fix that blown tire and keep going!
So this time around - I know the weight is coming off slowly...I started back LC Wednesday January 25th at 193 lbs. It is Saturday February 4th and I've only lost 4 pounds in that time...
Which is only frustrating because - in the past - any time I've started a new "lifestyle" the first week is always my best weight loss week! haha. Usually resulting in like an 8 pound loss!
BUT I am very happy with those 4 pounds. And - for example - I've been "so good" all week...and last night we went downtown and I had a polish sausage from a hotdog vendor - bun and all...
BUT it was one bun and I'm ok with that. I (photo) journaled it and I ONLY allowed myself the one. It was probably 20 carbs for the bun...but 20 carbs is better than going and binging on (my fave comfort food) fries! haha.
SO that is the story of my life, regarding my weight issues. It sucks but it's who I am.
again - I've done this SO many times that I know the weight WILL come off.
And - like it's always been in the past...I just wish it'd be over night! haha.
But hey - it's what I do! :D
When I was a teenager I was about 220 pounds at 14 years old. Yeah I was the fat kid. BUT my parents really didn't know better - as far as how to eat right - since this was the early 90's and they were products of the 50's/60's/70's when 'convenience foods' came into the US lifestyle...after WWII and the stock market crash - everyone wanted FAST foods to prepare (not "fast food"..) but fast foods as far as pre-packaged processed (crap) food to make life easier. Especially since women were entering the work force and didn't have time to have a meal prepared for their family every single night from scratch like our grandparents, great-grandparents and before them did.
So our parents had hamburger helper and pizza hut and "fast convenience" foods that they didn't exactly have growing up...
I'm not blaming my (wonderful) parents by any means...I just know I was more a "victim of circumstance" hehe.
So anyways - I was a thin child and was very active - playing softball as a kid - but when I hit middle school, I stopped playing/being active and was always shy anyways...and in 6th grade I remember weighing 125...which looking back was still big for a 12 year old...but then when I hit 7th grade...13 years old...well let's just say I have blocked out most of 7th grade. Even though I was a straight A student - I was absolutely bullied. I won't get into the whole "bullying" thing here - but I totally get what the movement is about now, as far as really trying to stop bullying. Although - even as a bullied child...I say good luck. I don't think it'll ever end...
SO - in 7th grade I gained 100 pounds. BECAUSE of the bullying...I'd come home balling my eyes out and eat as soon as I hit the door. White bread sandwiches with Mayo and bologna sandwiches...then I'd go to sleep until mom woke me for dinner (ok, so I'm sure this wasn't EVERY day...but I remember that happening...) PLUS...again - my parents didn't/couldn't have realized it was all the CRAP the gov't was putting into that packaged food...
So I weighed 220 pounds in 7th grade and actually "maintained" that for a couple of years...and when I hit 10th grade (yeah, three years later)...between the summer of my 10th and 11th grade I was in Marching Band. I also was 'forced' (lol) to take the dreaded mandatory gym class with swimming - so I took that in the summer. That dreaded gym class, however, combined with Marching Band - all that movement! I dropped 70 pounds! Oh yeah, I also wasn't allowed a drivers license - even though I was 16 years old - so I rode my bike EVERYWHERE...
So of course, here I was - extremely naive - thinking "sweet! I've lost weight! I'm thin! I can eat whatever I want like my size 4 best friend!" (who even to this day - no matter what she eats is frickin' stick thin...)
Well - so of course I go to college and yeah...I didn't gain the freshman 15 - I gained the sophomore 70! Yup. gained ALL of it back! :(
But - I can tell you - I have great memories of those midnight / 2 a.m. stops at the ihop with my friends after a night of drinking for a huge hamburger and fries...lol
So my junior year of college I started playing Ultimate Frisbee and also started weight watchers. I wasn't too serious about the weight watchers at the time - I did lose about 30 pounds...but gained it ALL back. Again.
When I graduated college I was at 220 pounds. Again. (I HATE my college graduation pics! lol)
SO. After I graduated I was SO sick and tired of being fat - so I went back to weight watchers - stuck to it and lost 60 pounds!!! I hit "lifetime" as a weight watcher and actually kept if off for a few years! This was (started in) September 2003. In April 2004 I moved to the city I live in now and - again - I did maintain WW and the "lifestyle" of counting points for a good year or two...but then slowly it came back on.
It's funny...I moved here in 2004 and that next year...April 2004 to June 2005 was one of the longest years of my life! ONE year! haha. In June of 2005 I started at the company where I currently am and have been for 6.5 years now! :D
So anyways - that year had me trying to find a job, a boyfriend, friends in general...tons of heart break (won't even go into the guys I dated during this time, thanks match.com! haha and weight gain.)
In November 2005 I met a guy (and was about 185 - up from my comfy/good 160) and it was a disaster...I thought I'd found "the one" but after 2 months - he decided to go back to his "cocaine habit"...I was absolutely crushed. Literally for 6 months straight I cried over him...
But then 8 months after we'd broken up, I met my (now) incredible husband!!
So - we started dating and I tried getting my weight back in check. I went back to Weight Watchers but no matter how much I counted points - how much I went to the gym - it didn't matter...I couldn't lose a single pound. Literally. I weighed exactly 193 (which is my new number! haha)...
So I went to the doc who did some blood work and told me I was "insulin resistant". Um WTH??? SHE told me to "cut the carbs" and try Atkins...but - of course - having done weight watchers (famously 'low fat') and doing very little research ON atkins - I thought she was nuts...so for a year I just tried dieting - with really no success and finally a YEAR later (2008) I decided...OK she must be on to something...
So January 2008 I started atkins. I went from 193 down to 160 and LOVED this new "lifestyle"! And - a year and a half later...after going low-carb I looked AWESOME and SKINNY in my wedding dress (even though the dress itself was a size 18 - I had it taken in like 4 inches in the middle...I have very broad shoulders...and, btw, i'm 5'7").
BUT...of course...after the wedding I started slipping - thinking I could eat carbs here and there...and ...well...a year after the wedding I found myself BACK UP to 193. Mainly because I had gone off BC about 2 months prior to our wedding and in the past 2 years of TTC - I've been thinking "well, it won't matter once I'm pregnant anyways..." (immortal last words)
And that's where I've been for about a year now. THANKFULLY I didn't gain more than the 33 I lost...but still.
SO - we now find ourselves faced with the reality that we both suffer from fertility issues and MUST do IVF. And in order to be able to DO IVF I have to lose this weight. AGAIN.
Like I said in my previous post - I even told the RE I've lost weight so many times...and I love low carb - and without hesitation, she said, "well then go back low carb".
Ok. So I am.
So again, I've done the low-fat/weight watchers thing - and while...for so many years I THOUGHT that was the healthy way to eat - my mind has been completely turned around and I now know that low-carb/gluten-free(for the most part)/HIGH FAT truly is the healthiest way to eat for LIFE.
Now - the first time I went low carb, I HAD to follow a plan. I am absolutely an "all or nothing" type of person and followed the steps of the atkins ladder to a T. Journaling my food, knowing exactly how many carbs I ate...etc...and I wouldn't allow myself to NOT eat on plan because I'm also the type that if I slipped up - I'd give up...but I've also come to the thought..."If you're driving along and one tire blows, do you get out and blow out the rest?" no you fix that blown tire and keep going!
So this time around - I know the weight is coming off slowly...I started back LC Wednesday January 25th at 193 lbs. It is Saturday February 4th and I've only lost 4 pounds in that time...
Which is only frustrating because - in the past - any time I've started a new "lifestyle" the first week is always my best weight loss week! haha. Usually resulting in like an 8 pound loss!
BUT I am very happy with those 4 pounds. And - for example - I've been "so good" all week...and last night we went downtown and I had a polish sausage from a hotdog vendor - bun and all...
BUT it was one bun and I'm ok with that. I (photo) journaled it and I ONLY allowed myself the one. It was probably 20 carbs for the bun...but 20 carbs is better than going and binging on (my fave comfort food) fries! haha.
SO that is the story of my life, regarding my weight issues. It sucks but it's who I am.
again - I've done this SO many times that I know the weight WILL come off.
And - like it's always been in the past...I just wish it'd be over night! haha.
But hey - it's what I do! :D
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