Note: If you don’t respect or understand the feeling that some people view pets as family or children, this post is not for you.
If you’re reading this, you probably know that one of my cats has recently been diagnosed with an aggressive type of lymphoma at only six years old. Her life expectency is six to nine months. I’m devastated. I really thought I would get another ten years with my little girl.
I’ll start by saying don’t worry, everything is great, and my boyf and I are very much in love. It’s awesome. It feels really good. So there haven’t been been any big issues that I’ve needed to sort through here, but I thought of something to write about today.
We both went to weddings two weekends ago, and it got me thinking about the effect past weddings have had on my relationships.
Yesterday I was reading in the backyard of the house where I babysit, and I looked up and noticed my surroundings. My chair sat on the gravel of the new and as-yet-unused fire pit area. In front of me, the small yard sloped upward to the grand wooden “backhouse”. The gentle stream cascaded down and across the path. The newly planted flowers were beginning to bloom.
I met my boyfriend’s family this week! I went to Christmas with him!
I know that’s pretty fast. Cue relationship patterns music and “But this time it’s different!” voice over. But… yeah, it’s actually different.
Anyway– what role does a partner’s family play in a relationship?
Where do we go from here?
On adventures, apparently. When some prior boyfriends suggested activities, outings, etc., I often declined. I “didn’t like to do stuff” (and some of them were kind of mean about it). Now I can see it wasn’t the “stuff” or me that was at fault– it was the relationships. I didn’t want to go places with those boyfriends. I didn’t want to do activities with them. I didn’t find their presence sufficiently fun, interesting, or calming to help me feel that going and doing things might be pleasant and relaxing.
I’m spiritual. I thought about putting that word in quotes, but I decided to restrain myself in an effort to reject society’s (and, sadly, deep down, my own) judgement of this type of belief as noncommittal and eye-rollingly new-agey.
Patience is not one of my strong suits. I’ve forced many relationships forward rather than waiting for things to unfold and consequently gotten myself into situations that would be different (better? nonexistent?) if I’d taken the time to gather more information.
What’s happening right now?
Can we talk about body image for a minute?
No one is sending me any bad messages. No actual human I spend time with. But if you know me well enough to actually read this page, you know I’ve had my struggles (haven’t we all) with body image and disordered eating.
What’s all this shit about?
This is about many past dates with many past men and one of the struggles that comes with growing up as a woman in our society.
I am now dating someone cool (!!!), and it’s the time for me to put into practice all the things I’ve learned about healthy vs. unhealthy attachment. One key word:
300% DIFFERENT 