“The risk assessment should only take a few minutes. We have very few Vamillion here in the Federation but we do want to be sure they stand the best chance of survival should the worst happen.”
“Okay, so what are you testing exactly? Is it all that invasive?”
“Just a quick scan should give us what we need.”
They called Combustion Fever. It was a malady that had popped up seemingly at random on several worlds while I was in my teens. It was mostly restricted to the fringe sectors of the Vamillion Empire but had gained an excessive amount virulence over the last standard cycle. Unfortunately for my family it only effected vampritic creatures so of course when SEED came to town, they quickly found my family since we were really the only ones in the area of Vamillion decent.
“So what will happen if we are at risk? I’m not really sure we can afford genetic replacement.”
“We would like to immigrate your family to a medical colony for observation if it comes to that but of course we’ll avoid it at all costs if it isn’t necessary. Unfortunately we don’t know much about the virus, just that it doesn’t have any symptoms initially but once the fever sets in most patients don’t survive more than 72 hours.”
The progression of the ailment made it hard to track, even with strict immigration restrictions and quarantines it still kept spreading and to places that didn’t even seem to have any connection to each other.
“Well Mrs. Justice, I do have some good news and some bad news. You will be just fine, you have a recessive Kasari marker in your dna sequence so you and your children are immune.”
“Alright, that’s great and the bad news?”
“Well unfortunately as your husband appears to not be a natural Vamillion, he’s actually very high risk. We’ve found that the virus disproportionately effects converts more than truebred vampritic creatures. Hopefully we’ll find out what’s causing this terrible virus soon and nothing will happen but if something pops up nearby we’ll be in touch.”
As the words dropped from her lips my heard melted into my gut. I just knew then that was how my father was going to die. You could say I was paranoid but as soon as she said it I just couldn’t get the idea out of my head.
Within a few weeks they came for him, an outbreak had started in a neighboring system and in a panic the SEED representatives leapt into action moving their citizens to isolated medical settlements. My brothers remained behind, they had people they were invested in at home but I had nothing and felt responsible for what was happening so I joined my parents on their journey despite my father’s protests.
“I really wish you would reconsider staying here with your brothers, you belong with them. You’re just a kid, don’t waste your youth on this.”
“I think I can spare a few standard dad, it’s not like you’re going to be around forever anyway and mom shouldn’t be alone if something happens to you.”
My mother had been clinically depressed for some time and I don’t think the news of this whole thing really helped her situation. She wasn’t about to let my dad go alone though, she had given up too much to be with him only to lose him like that. So the three of us said our goodbyes to our family and boarded a transport to our new home on the other side of the system.
For a time it did seem like everything was going to be okay, everyone in the settlement was setup on isolated containment blocks just for extra precaution and medical scans were done regularly to ensure the health of everyone. We just carried on with our lives in a leisurely fashion. Honestly other than the enforced isolation my life didn’t change all that much from what I was used to.
Three standard cycles of nothing gave me a false sense of hope that I was just paranoid but once it came it swept through like a desert brush-fire. All the wards were activated, anyone who was at risk was restricted to their dwellings but one by one families just started to drop off. I was glad they discouraged fraternization, knowing the others there would have made things all the worse but I could still hear them through the paper thin walls. It’s hard to put aside the sound of mournful cries of a mother losing her child or a husband weeping for his lost mate. It all still echos through my mind even after all this time.
Then came our time for sorrow. My father was getting quite old at that point already and I knew that he probably didn’t have much time anyway but three days after the alarm sounded he woke up complaining of a mild headache and my mother said he seemed warmer than he should be.
My mother went into hysterics once she realized what it meant. I tried to calm her down, afraid she’d upset dad and make his condition progress faster but she refused to hear me out.
“Don’t tell me what the fuck to do or how to react Harlequin Rose! Do you have any fucking clue how much I’ve given up for that man? Now I’m going to lose him, why couldn’t you just leave us alone?! You just HAD to turn him didn’t you?!”
“You don’t think I don’t know it’s my fault?! I was a kid, I just wanted my dad to be like me. I didn’t know!”
“Well it’s not like I go around converting people, where the fuck did you get that idea?! The only person that ever did that in my life was my father and I know you know what kind of person HE was.”
I knew she was just lashing out because she was hurting but her insinuations really got to me. I knew what I had done was wrong now but it’s not like I was ever told not to when I was a kid or that maybe it was a bit taboo. I had just read about it and thought he’d benefit from becoming one. Even knowing that I had just acted like a clueless child didn’t calm my own feelings of guilt though and her comparing me to my horrid grandfather would be something I’d hold on to for the rest of my life.
After our argument my mom disappeared from our flat, I should have followed her but I was more concerned with trying to make my father’s final hours comfortable.
“Promise me once I’m gone you’ll take your mom home, I’ve already made arrangements with Asher and Rhys to take care of her.”
“But shouldn’t I -”
“No you’ve done enough for us sweetheart. All I want from you is to see you do something with your life, something that makes you happy. It’s all you wanted for me, and you should know the past five standard have been the best of my life. When I was a young man I didn’t think I really wanted a family, my dad had been a musician and was never home but his life far away seemed so exciting. When he finally came back around he kept going on about how much time he’d missed and how it made him feel guilty. I thought it was fucking lame, I mean he was my hero but there he was breaking down that his whole life had been a mistake, I think I better understand what he meant now. I love you Harlow, and your brothers, please never forget that.”
“Of course I won’t daddy.”
“I’m sorry I have to rest now, I can barely keep my eyes open.”
He didn’t wake up again. I was glad because at least he seemed at peace and didn’t appear to suffer like it sounded some of the others had. Soon the medical teams came in to take him away for processing, they did their best to do it delicately but it all felt very sterile and unnatural to me. Given the situation though I understood their concerns and kept my grief to myself until after they left. I needed to be strong for I told my mom anyway, so a bit of practice keeping things bottled up couldn’t hurt.
Once they were gone though I hid away in my room for a good cry, I knew my dad wouldn’t be happy with me if he knew I wasn’t managing my sadness well and it wasn’t long before I fell into a good heavy sleep as a result.
A few hours later my sleep was rudely interrupted by a frantic sort of knock at the door so I pulled myself, wiped the sleep from my eyes, and went to investigate.
“Hey Harlow, sorry to bother you, I know today hasn’t been a good day.”
It was Maselie, her parents were old college friends of my dad, when she heard we had been sent here she requested a transfer to see if she could be any help at all. Her parents were really active in the fight against the virus and she had followed in their footsteps. I thought it was pretty honorable, I mean they were Getanosian and Voidlings are immune so they really had no reason to invest their time in this.
“It’s okay Masie, I actually wouldn’t mind some pleasant company. I’ve pretty much been alone since they took him cause mom went and wandered off again. I swear she can be such a despicable coward sometimes.”
“I am not sure I would simply call it cowardice, grief is such a powerful emotion, it often gives even the most level headed creature cause for irrational action. I am glad that you feel capable of managing your own feelings though, it makes what I have to tell you a bit easier. May we sit down? I’ve been on my feet all day and could use a rest.”
“Oh sure! Sorry I should have offered. I know you’ve been working hard the last week. I bet you haven’t even even since the outbreak.”
“Thank you for your concern but I do not require sleep.”
I often forget that about Voidlings, I didn’t have much experience with them growing up. Hayden was really the only one I knew and I wasn’t even sure what kind he was.
“Have YOU rested at all?”
“Oh yeah, I kind of cried myself to sleep a little while ago.”
“Good, I was wondering if you had let yourself release at all. I know you’re worried about your parents but you need to take care of yourself too.”
“I know. So you said you had to tell me something?”
“Yeah, I just… heh. I don’t really know how to say it. It’s about your mom.”
“Oh great what did she do? Did she break something? She can be really irrational when she’s upset, I don’t really have the money to rep-”
“I’m sorry Harlow, no she didn’t break anything. We just kind of found her.”
“Wait what?”
“One of the patrols, we don’t even know how she got off the compound but with all the distractions…”
“Well is she okay?”
“No.”
My stomach turned, I was upset with my mother with the way she had handled things for a while, I mean she had been better once we settled in here but her depression made her act really unfairly toward the rest of the family. Still the idea that something had happened to her was not what I wanted to hear. I love my mother, no matter how crazy she can be.
“I’m sorry Harlow. They found her body near the river at the bottom of the overlook. Based on best estimates it had been there for maybe an hour at most.”
“I- so she-”
“It seems that way, a lot of people here haven’t felt much hope since the fever popped up, I wish I could say she was the only one but you’re the second person we’ve had to give this news to today.”
“Can I see her?”
“They didn’t know if she was sick so she was processed as per usual precautions, I apologize, I know that doesn’t give you much closure.”
“I understand, I know you guys can’t take any risks.”
“Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all? I can get a transport for you home or elsewhere, I know my family will cover the costs if you need some start up. Uncle Che was a good guy, my mother would want me to ensure you are well taken care of.”
“Thanks Masie, you and your family have been wonderful. Honestly I really don’t what I want to do now, this is all so fresh. Can you just give me some time?”
“Sure, take all the time you need, did you want me to stay for a while?”
“Nah it’s alright, I need to think some things over. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to leave.”
“Okay, I’ll give you some space then, just keep me posted. I’ll come check on you later tonight.”
It wasn’t necessary, I wasn’t like my mom but I could understand why Masie would worry.
I had sunk most of my life into the idea of my parents being together, that their love was a true and beautiful story but all I did was help them down this path, pushed them toward this tragedy. To some extent I did feel like I deserved to die, more so than either of they, but I knew there was no sense in thinking that way.
It’s easy to feel like you can’t go on but if you end it, if you let go, then there really is no hope. There is truly nothing left then and somehow I feel like my chances are better carrying on. That’s what my dad would have wanted and I like to think that’s what she would have wanted too. Now the problem was I didn’t really know where or what I was going to do with my life from there.
“Hello? Yes this is she. Lightwell? No I’m can’t say I’ve heard of you. A job? Well I don’t know… how did you even get this number? Only my– I see. Well I suppose I can come hear you out. Not like I have anything better to do.”
I would work it out though, down one path or another.
“Well that was weird.”
( Unread ) 