messed up

It has been a roller coaster ride for me these past months. April 8, the love of my life arrived here in the Philippines. Amidst our distance and his health problems, he was able to endure it and fly here and be with me. I know that this is a sign from God that He wants us to be together and that He'll call him to the church. That was one of the happiest days of my life, seeing him for the first time. The next few days after that, we got to learn a lot from each other. I toured him in the nearby malls where we hang out and talk.

When he started meeting one of the ministers here, I know it will be a hard one. Not because we cant back up our beliefs in the bible but the studies turn into debates. I kind of like it too since I know that he wont be a blind follower or that he wont convert to my church just for me but because he believes in what we believe in, and that he was called to the church. I was hoping these talks will result to him seeing what we saw. Since then, it has been an up and down ride. We get along well except when it's about religion.

It has been known to us inside the church that the persecution is no longer outside but inside the church, among members being stumbling blocks. What we just do is either talk to the person or try to ignore him since we are all responsible for our salvation. Unfortunately, he met these stumbling blocks on the time that he is still seeking answers to his questions. This gave the impression to him that clearly, this is a sign that the church does not teach the right doctrines because its members behave this way.

The last straw came when he wanted to stop and I made a deal with him to talk to one of our ministers in Central. He told me that if he saw one teaching that is not in the bible, then he'll walk out of that meeting and he's already done, and that I have to choose him and denounce my faith. I agreed since I know all of our teachings are from the bible. I then prayed fervently, hoping that He'll show him the light which would be a way for him to called to the church.

As a member, there are ministers that I like the style of teaching and there are ministers that I don't. Unfortunately, the minister that I had an appointment to had a class and his minister friend whom I first talked to was the one who accommodated us. Maybe in a way it was the right thing to happen since the minister had stayed long in the US not just to preach but to study so he knows the culture of the people there.

Unfortunately, in one of their discussions, the minister said that the term "complete" apostasy is our conclusion and not in the bible. And he didn't wait for the proofs in the bible which is backed up by history behind that conclusion and he stood up and was ready to leave. The minister asked him why he is standing up and asked him to sit down. They had a discussion and when he was at the door, the minister told us not to stop him and let him. I don't know why the minister did this.

Now, I am torn. Really torn. He had made a FB post that he will propose to me and has asked his friends to sort of welcome me or something. I know that life without him is like living in zombie land. I'll go through the notions of living without ever living it. I had lived this in the last 2 years we've been on and off because of religion. But I don't know if I can stand losing my faith. I know what I believe in are based on the bible and not just interpretations and even if the people are not that ok and has faults, I had learned long ago not to be affected by them and just live my own life and try to bring glory to God's name.

I don't know why this is happening. And I don't know what I'll do.

Blessed Monday

Yesterday was a blessed day. I was looking for a third part time job since my 2 part time jobs are not that active. I'm not really looking for the sake of money but more for experience and to fill in the gaps. I found out that I can work more efficiently in my full time job if there are things I do in between. Yesterday, the third part time job came, it was unexpected but welcome.

Also, there's a church duty that I was praying for. Last night, a friend from church went to our place because our pastor wants me to attend the seminar for my church duty. I was elated! I was dressing up when he arrived and I hurriedly finish and went to church. It was a blessed evening!

All in all, yesterday was a good day!

A Different Kind of Working Experience

Working from home has opened new doors, and new experiences for me. I was able to try and do jobs that I'm curious to do but don't have the chance because of my position in the office, or just can't because it's out of my line of career and my work experience. Before venturing out, I can see that I can do a lot of things that I was limited to do when I was still in the office. And I'm right. Though admittedly, working from home is not that stable a career. That's why one needs to be prepared for months earning only minimal or no income if one wants to venture into this field. Luckily, I had prepared for that. I gave myself at least 3 months to try this out.

My first 3 months paid well. I had a stable work-from-home job as a Project Manager, which is in my line of work. I was earning the same salary I was when I was still working in an office, but have the flexibility of time, as long as I can deliver what is asked of me. I was also able to practice again my applicant sourcing skills, which I missed and loved doing in one of my previous job. I thought this is a long-term job but things happen. My boss encountered some financial problems and have to let me go.

After that, I was lucky to be hired as a part time personal assistant. During the trial phase, I thought my boss is cold, he was too formal on his communications with me. That doesn't mean that it's hard to communicate with him, in fact he answers inquiries fast. So I just did what I need to do to finish the job. There were two of us whom he has shortlisted and luckily, he chose me. After that, things changed. He became more at ease to talk to. Maybe that's just part of his test. I've been working for him for a month now, part time, and even though I'm earning a little less than the minimum wage, it's a learning experience for me which I know I can't try out and do when I'm working in an office. And it's more than enough to pay the utility bills lol.

I then met an employer who showed me the other side of applicant sourcing. I thought that all applicants are prepared. Prepared meaning they send their resume on jobs their applying for at the very least. I learned that I'm wrong. There were many applicants who would just send you an email asking if they can apply for the job without sending their resume. Some send their resume without any subject and cover letter. Still, there were others who used cover letter templates, which they send to every company that their applying for. How did I know that this is the case? Well, either they forgot to change the position that they are applying for, or they just attached both the cover letter and the resume to their email lol. It was a funny, though sometimes irritating experience. Even though, I still think that recruitment is one of the enjoyable jobs.

Happy 19th Birthday to me!

Earlier, I had posted that end of the world is my birthday. My birthday ended and nothing end-of-the-world-y happened. But what happened today are:

• 2nd day of another full time job. I applied, got interviewed, and started yesterday with this job. Though it's still in the testing phase, I hope this is the start of good start (redundant eh? lol)
• Lots of part-time opportunities. I need a part-time job now specially that I'm not sure how much I'll get in the testing phase of my current full time job, if any. Though I really hope that I'll get paid
• Just for laughs, I earlier posted that a job interview made me wait an hour and a half which resulted from the interview being cancelled by me. (Well, I really hate time-wasters). Now, the recruiter messaged me early in the morning inquiring what position I'm applying. I was surprised and I'm really wondering if I'm still interested for that job because I'm really not interested in working with her lol
• The highlight of my birthday is when our beloved pastor went to our home. I really feel blessed.

Waiting....

One thing I've realized that I hate about going to interviews when applying for a job is the waiting period. It has been 2 years since I applied for a job and I already forgot about that. The interviews I have in my work-from-home job applications are always on time, which made me forget about that waiting time. Until now. I have an interview scheduled at 9:30AM and I hurriedly did the things I have to do before that time comes. But 30 minutes after and the interview hasn't started yet. I had already caught her attention by messaging her that I'm ready for the interview and she answered with an "okay". It seems she's the one who is not yet ready to give the interview lol. I am fighting the urge to interview her instead hahaha. Oh well. One of my flaws is I'm inpatient. It's the reason why I hate office meetings since I can't do anything while in a meeting. Which is very different when I'm working from home where meetings are productive. Oh well.... this waiting is really making me sleepy... *yawn*

Wee!!!!

Finally, after trial and error of configurations, I've successfully set my wifi connection here at home! Now, I'm using this wirefree! Almost, that is lol. I just need to buy a new laptop battery and I can work anywhere I want. In this house of course lol. And some more tinkering and I'll be making my mobile more hitech and useful (ie, more personalized apps installed).

I'm just so happy! Well, this is the benefit of not being given anything to do by my boss lol

World's Biggest Domed Arena

To God be the Glory