Wayward Wind

Yes, YOU.

You know who you are. Please, I don’t know what’s the matter are you stalking me?hahaha..xD, what’s wrong now? Please just let me be. It was never easy going on after everything that happened these past years of my life and now that I’ve finally found true joy, please LEAVE ME ALONE!

I’ve got someone by my side that makes me happy now…no actually, I’ve got LOTS of people by my side that helps me make it through everything 24/7. So, just cut it out, whatever you’re thinking.

I don’t know what you’re up to. But me? I’m up to nothing, I mean, I’ve got nothing to do with you and the people you hang out with ok? I DON”T CARE ABOUT YOU at all. So just stay away.

Stay away why these words are still kind enough for you to accept, don’t wait for me to be angry…or rather don’t wait for me to show you how mad I have been, aryt?

*sigh

I’m really baffled. If you need something, stop acting like that. Come and confront me, I won’t back out. If confrontations can start the negotiations for this mess to be fixed, then why not.

But just don’t do it that way. And by the way, I’m not even doing anything to you ok? If I’ll be doing something, I’m sure that they’re the one (or probably even you) who started it, because I’m not up for a fight ok? I dislike arguments, but if I have to protect and defend myself I’ll do what I have to.

That’s all I’ve got to say. Oh and anyways, I still have my pride with me 😀 haven’t lose it yet. Plus I’m tougher now, you can’t beat me. That’s one thing I am very certain of. Do not dare to try me…especially when I am maadddddddddd!hay! (`evilness..hehe)

Fact: I was born on the 2nd day of the love month…pero di ko feel. Hmm..ano nga ba nangyari sa buong Feb ko?..recap nga..

Nung birthday ko di masyadong masaya, dami nga lang pera at kung anu-anong nakabalot at nakakahon pero kulang na kulang naman. Wala si Daddy, si Mommy nagkasakit di kami naka celebrate ng maayos tapos yung araw bago ang birthday ko nag celebrate nga sila…inuman naman ang banat! Aba mga taong to, nag celebrate sila ng inuman para raw sakin eh umiiinom ba naman ako?! Makakakaya kaya ng acidic kong sikmura ang San miguel Light, Red Horse at Black Label nilang tinatagay??

Ang kapatid kong babae na 1st year HS pa lang tinamaan, nalasing. Mga pasaway painumin daw ba ang bata ng di alam ni mommy! Ayun nka 3 cans pala ng light beer. Aba eh pers taym uminom nun natural may tama sakanya yun.

Ang sunod na kaganapan Feb 14…

Valentines day na walang kakwenta-kwenta!JS prom na mas walang kakwenta-kwenta. Aun muntik-muntikan lang naman ako madapa sa haba ng gown…naku hate ko talaga yun! Ewan ko ba…di ko masyadong type ang pagiging “kikay”..kaya ayaw ko ng make-up (makati sa mukha..!!!), ayaw ko ng kung anu-ano pa sa lahat ata ng gamit pambabae carry ko lang talaga ang high heeled sandals/shoes, ewan ko ba bakit..kasi siguro mula bata ako sinanay na ako magsuot ng ganun. Tapos si Dear Tita pag nagpapadala, puro mataas ang heels.. mas masarap pa rin maging simple, presko at yung comfortable lang no.

Mahirap talaga, pag dinadamitan ka, alam mo yung tipong para ka lang paper doll sa kanila??…naku!

So babalik, wala naman talagang naganap sa special nung Valentines ko. Kelan pa ba nagka meaning sa akin ang araw na yun? Hmmm..

Ngayon I’m looking forward sa semi-finals. Dapata nga nasa school ako ngayon, kaso akala ko dadating asthma ko eh buti medyo ok na ko. Pagod lang siguro since last Friday pa puyat ako lagi, tapos nagru-rush din ng essays. Tapos bukas sisimulan ko na mag review ng semi-finals. Kailangan makakuha ako ng exemption kasi parang tinatamad na rin ako para sa finals eh. Gusto ko lang matapos na para makapagsimula ulit…

Now I’m decided. Done with the resolutions, it’s time for action..

good luck people! may this be a blissful and fruitful year for all of us..

Gosh! Hahaha. Are you one of us now? Hehehehe.

Twilight fanatic?
Well, I’ve read some reviews saying that Twilight isn’t a good book that’s supposed to be read by girls, teenage girls in particular. It is said there that even if it is well written at least according to it’s genre, you (referring to a parent, if you are one) are not supposed to hand it out to your teenage daughter..like, duh? Hahaha (arte,,haha) I so love Twilight and the other books. So I don’t care about reviews like these. We all have our own opinions and this is mine: I love the story, I love the lines, I love Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan, I love their “kilig moments”. They’re not the usual stuffs, plus there are vampires involved here!

Yeah, just another sci-fi love story maybe, still, I’m so, so into it. I’ve been a fan of the book now of the movie too becasue of Robert Pattinson! ( He’s cuter in HP 5 series though, nevertheless he’s still cute^^)

So no matter what others say, I still love twilight. Fanatics, Addicts, whatever-unite! Hehehe.

Have you heard of the place called home? We hear it everywhere right? But do you have one? well  when I was 5, we lived in a simple 3-roomed home in a typical province here in this calm and beautiful place-The Philippines. Tropic? Indeed. It is really very relaxing, you couldn’t ask for more. We eat lots of my mom’s home made goodies. I really love the way she cooks. The ambiance back then was far, far different. Sometimes I try to search for some pigments of the atmosphere’s “color” from my old home here in our new home. Well, it’s not really that new. We’ve been living here for about 5 years this coming May. And you know what?-everything simply..CHANGED( include the calm and beautiful description of the country, oh shocks.)

And this afternoon is the most different afternoon of all. This is the first time I felt like NOT wanting to go home, I want some break.

it’s just about a month or two when my health had been at it’s worst-well at least for this year. And my mom is really trying her best to make me all chubby and healthy again! Hahaha. But HELL I look like a zombie! I just slept last night looking on the mirror realizing I already have dark circles under my eyes, and when I woke up?Damn! My eyes even…argh, never mind!

I know I’ve NEVER been radiant and beautiful. NEVER in my life. Not even lovely or pretty. But I never thought I’d look this–UGLY! I look totally stressed out. But, yeah I’m truly stressed out. I’ve been thinking of  so many thins right now. This week-I’ve been such a failure. The worst part of this? I feel like I’d always fail for about…FOREVER from now on! I think it’s difficult to get up. I’m losing control, I’m out my mind, out of myself. I just can’t focus! I can’t do things right. I even think I haven’t done anything good.

I might be the worst friend, the worst child, the worst sister…simply the WORST! I can’t be good. You know, I’ve been thoroughly searching for that place I used to know. Where I can find all the peace, love and warmth. Now, it’s been different. My favorite place is the place I never wanted to go this afternoon, the place I never wanted to stay this night.

I want an escape. Being here only makes feel, see, realize and think over things I never wanted to think. Things that caused me to elude my mind just to forget about their existence. And what are these things? Oh, in case you haven’t experienced them yet, let me tell you. These Darn things are what they call REALITIES. Well I call them obstacles. You know what I do with obstacles? Either jump over them, run around them or beat them and take them to the ground until they won’t exist anymore. But like what I’ve said, things changed. Not only for me but for my entire family. I think I’m not that strong anymore to do what I use to do with challenges and trials-OVERCOME them.

But then again, I thought over things and found out that they’re not only obstacles or burdens after all. they’re more than obstacles or burdens-they’re failures. Things I can’t have or earn, which makes me more frustrated.

I can’t help but be affected. It’s like having a finger that hurts and sores. MY mind might be telling me: “you don’t have to feel the pain. Your whole being isn’t affected after all.” But I know, I feel it in my instincts I can sense them and in the core of my being…THERE is pain and I FEEL it.

Same here. My mom never wanted me to worry about the things she’s going through. But hey, how am I supposed to do that? She’s my mom, we’re a family and I’m still a PART of her. Now that I have my own personal problems too, I can’t tell her. I have no rights to add up to her burdens. I AM already a burden, I know that. When will I be able to do the right thing? I want to be her salvation…

In this place they call home, can I find all I need to cheer and build a part of me that’s already suffering? What can one pathetic, imperfect, ugly person like me can do to a seemingly perfect parent?

**some are non sense questions, some may seem odd but makes sense after all, some are trivial..but whatever they are, just ..read!

NOTE: I don’t wanna be a subject for copyright. Hahaha. So I’ll share you my source..I got these questions from a “survey” on friendster..kk..now read, you might just discover what you’ve always wanted to know from me

1. Do you think your EX still likes you?

• -Of course NOT. Hahaha. That was a long time ago

2. Are you still scared of horror movies?

• -Massacre horror movies YES, but ordinary horror movies not really.

3. Do you still turn to your parents for advice or comfort?

• -YES, always.

4. Have you ever been in a difficult relationship?

• -Maybe. dunno if my past relationship can be considered as a hard one already..

5. How long would it take you to walk home from school?

• –School is about 4km away from home..so imagine that, haha

6. If someone gave you 100 dollars, would you spend or save it?

• -Spend the half, save the other half. Hahaha.

7. Do you find the opposite sex confusing?

• -NO. I think guys are easier to understand. It’s just that, they don’t really open up,tsk,tsk..

8. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?

• -I do not use an alarm clock. I “automatically” wake up at 5am..but ALWAYS falls back asleep. Hahaha.

9. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

• -Probably. But there’s nothing impossible if you have the will..

10. Does someone like you right now?

• -Yeah. Mr. YDD hahaha…I don’t know if there are still any. I’m not a campus crushie, you know

11. What was the last thing you argued about with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

• -Ohh..too bad I don’t have a boyfriend at present..hehehe

12. Is the last person you kissed mad at you?

• -I haven’t kissed anyone yet! In fact, I’ve never been kissed. And I’m proud of that. Hahaha..

13. When’s the next time you’ll see your best friend?

• -I see her even in my dreams. Hehehe. Tomorrow

14. Are you hiding something important from anyone?

• –but of COURSE life isn’t complete without having SECRETS, right?

15. Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?

• -pregnant at the present? why would I NOT cry?! If in case I got pregnant when I don’t even have a bf and have done NOTHING wrong?Hahaha..Isn’t that..scary?Hehe. So Yes, I will DEFINITELY cry.

16. Have you ever had a pet fish?

• –My dad once caught a fish for me.hahaha.But that was like more than..10 years ago?

17. Are any of your friends pregnant?-

• -My friends are even more good girls than I am. so the’y won’t get pregnant. Hehehe.

18. Are you taller than 5’5″?

• -I don’t know my exact height right now. But I think NO, I’m NOT taller that 5’5″

19. What were you doing at 9 this morning?

• -school
  

20. Can you admit when you’re wrong?

• -Yes.

21. Do you like to argue?

• -NO. I hate arguments, esp. if they are non sense.

22. Have you ever felt replaced?

• -I always feel REPLACED! Hahaha. But that’s ok, as long as I don’t become JUST a replacement, I think I still deserve to be more than that, to be loved TRULY, don’t I? ( I think we all don’t deserve to serve as replacements of the one that got away..)

23. What do you do when you have a bad day?

• -I SLEEP. Hahaha. If it’s something out of control, I pray. That solves it all

24. Do you believe ex’s can really ever be just friends?

• –It depends. But it might not come easy.

25. Do you dance while getting ready for whatever?

• -Huh?No. I sing. Hahaha.

26. Is there a meaning behind your profile song?

• -Yeah.

27. Who has the ability to hurt you the most?

• -The people I love. You won’t get hurt by a non-relevant person will you?

28. If you could go back in time and change things would you?

• -To admit and correct a MISTAKE.

29. Something you do a lot?

• -Daydream. Hehehe. JK, computer.

30. What are you thinking about right now?

• -about the future that’s starting to come to life

31. What should you be doing right now?

• -Relax. Hehehe. Chill

32. What are you listening to?

• -Paramore, NFG, Simple Plan.

33. Do you act different around the person you love?

• -No. But I don’t act normal, because I’ve always been weird. Hahaha. But really, NO.

34. Has anyone sang or played for you personally?

• -I don’t remember. 95% yes. Hehe

35. Describe your life in one word?

• -Confusing.

nagsayang na naman ako ng space sa mundo ng weblog..

well kala ko kasi frozen na ang blog ko na ito..

I mean tlgang useless na tagal ko na kasi di nabubuksan pagkakita ko dumagdag ang viewers..

Eh ako pala ang frozen, as in frozen pa at malamig sa ice cream na na freezer ng isang linggo dahil sa mga kagananpan nitong nagdaan

may nagvi-view naman pala hahaha..

keep reading!!please..leave some comments,

comments are-LOVE!hahaha

mwah.ha.ha.

-Rei

The worst way to miss someone is probably having this person around yet you can’t have him/her, isn’t it?

Darn it! I’m trapped here. I thought after 2 weeks of loaded school works everything would somehow be fine. But nothing has changed, and nothing is changing! EVERYTHING is the same as it was before. My old self–the sad and disappointed one is back. I’ve been happy these past days, I thought that happiness would at least last, but it didn’t. I’m badly hurt..AGAIN T_T..I hate myself.

Can anybody just take me away first??…tsk.tsk.tsk.

For YOU: You don’t even know  how MUCH I feel for you. You don’t even know the thing I’ll have to go through. But what I don’t get is…why you still have the nerve to look straight into my eyes and talk about me as if nothing is happenning? Darn! I hate you. ( YEAH RIGHT. I WISH I COULD JUST LEARN TO REALLY HATE YOU AND FORGET ABOUT THIS SPECIAL FEELING WITHIN…)

(an open letter. to whom it may concern.)

Dear You,

I would just like to know…

Would you care to love someone as pathetic as me?

Would you care to lift me up from where I am now?

Would you care to come into my life now and be my savior?

Would you like to mean the world to me?

Would you like to be loved by someone as ordinary as me?

If you do, then this will be my promise: To wait for you as long as I can. And that I’ll be willing to take a risk, just for you…

In return, you have to come! How or when, I just don’t care. Just get here, you’ve got to.

I might be anywhere in the world some time tomorrow, but if you’re willing to take me away, save me and put my shattered pieces back together already, then let me FEEL your presence.

It’s the acts I’m waiting for, more than the words “I Love You.”

See you “TOMORROW”…

PS: Don’t make me wait in vain. If you’ll be ‘LATE’ due to some circumstances, at least let me know if you’ll still come anyway…