If you are like me and mistake your thoughts for reality far too often, here is another reason to set some time aside each day for meditation. Meditation is the only place where you can observe the process of your inner life unfolding. A thought appears out of nowhere, without intention or invitation, and triggers … Continue reading 21 Dec 25. My thoughts are assholes.
14 Dec 25. Power of Ten.
I didn’t feel like meditating yesterday. It was a dark and gloomy day. My mind was agitated, unkind, and stupid. At the same time, I am not able to lie to myself anymore. I know the path that ends all suffering. If I don’t want to walk it for my own sake, I should walk … Continue reading 14 Dec 25. Power of Ten.
12 Dec 25.
I am absolutely blown away by AI-generated music. Country versions of Nirvana songs give me chills. I think AI will bring an existential crisis to those of us who are introspectively inclined and unfamiliar with the Buddha’s teachings on the Aggregates. It turns out we really are just a collection of inputs, processes, and outputs. … Continue reading 12 Dec 25.
27 January. Happiness.
So I often listen to Ajahn Chahn talks. In one of his talks he spoke about suffering and happiness being like the head and tail of the same snake. Yeah. I have realised that the reason I keep relapsing on coke is not suffering but happiness. When I am happy I get intoxicated with happiness … Continue reading 27 January. Happiness.
13 May 23. Death.
OK. So the last two years. Amphetamines, coke, alcohol, nicotine, antidepressants. Not very Buddhist of me. I know. But it is what it is. As you can imagine, I haven't been meditating regularly. Try to sit and meditate after 36 hours of no sleep, during a come-down after two days of coke and speed binge. … Continue reading 13 May 23. Death.
9 May 23.
Here we go again.
27 Oct 21. Never-ending practice.
Sitting with Soto Zen folks in Dublin again. 45 minutes of staring at the wall, followed by a few minutes of walking meditation, followed by another 15 minutes of sitting meditation. When I was preparing to leave, a lady asked me about my sitting. I said it didn't feel like an hour. - Time flies … Continue reading 27 Oct 21. Never-ending practice.
18 Oct 21.
On Monday, I got up before 6AM and drove to Dublin again to sit with Soto Zen folks, this time at 7.15 in the morning. The sun was raising slowly on the wall in front of me. We did a bit of walking meditation. I noticed people rushing about outside a large window of the … Continue reading 18 Oct 21.
17 Oct 21.
I went to Dublin to practice with Soto Zen folks. Sitting with my back straight, facing the wall. As the sun set, I watched my shadow on the wall in front of me slowly disappearing, evening becoming night, sunlight becoming candlelight.
14 Aug 21. Mindfulness.
I have always thought about sati (mindfulness) as a skill. Something we consciously apply to whatever arises in our experience. So I am reading this book called "Buddha's last sermon – in hell". In the book, the protagonist, a woman called M., talks about sati not as a skill, but as a reflex. It really stuck with me. How … Continue reading 14 Aug 21. Mindfulness.
Bad At Being Still 