Dear Diary

Pictures source: google

I have always been fascinated watching documentaries, the serious ones, any sort of crime is despicable at all levels but it exists and we live in a world of cruelty. We all know many of the infamous serial killers from the ’70s, ’80s and the ’90s. One such criminal that became conspicuous in my eyes was Jeffery Lionel Dahmer, also known as the Milwaukee cannibal or monster and he was for sure. He was born to Lionel and Joyce Dahmer who was like many other people trying to live a good life or rather the American dream. His mom oftentimes was under a lot of anxiety disorders but his dad was someone who had a sense of direction, however, in my opinion, I believe he was focussed on his career path.

Dahmer, in many of his later interviews, did mention he didn’t have as many problems during his time growing up but his father actually spoke of Jeffrey’s demeanor changing as a child, he would shy away from people and would seclude himself. Jeffrey was really good at this one task he picked up from his father, dissecting. It all began when he saw his father removing animal bones from beneath their family home. He had a wild fascination develop when he heard sounds the bones would make, his father said it “thrilled” him. I don’t know if that raises a red flag right there at all but people are weird, we all are and have many kinds of ludicrous curiosity, well at least some do.

Jeffrey would find and bring home carcasses found nearby, dissect them to see the insides and later dissolve the bones in acid, he had access to acid since his dad was a chemist. You can certainly find Jeffrey Dahmer’s history on Wikipedia or anywhere online, there are numerous documentaries of him. I think I keep getting back to this particular story because he was once a child, a happy kid who had parents, a brother and was also charming and intelligent, had the opportunities to get an education and make a change in the world but his dangerous desires of wanting to see the insides of a living being mixed with his homosexual fantasies only took him to the path of destruction. Dahmer knew he was gay when he hit puberty so often he would be ashamed of it and never talk about it. He never talked about any of it, no one asked him.

I was deeply moved to hear the stories of many of the innocent victims who died in an undignified manner at the hands of the Milwaukee Cannibal and I guess the reason Jeffrey’s heinous crimes baffles me the most is because his victims were all men and boys. They were all young and people who perhaps like any of us had dreams and aspirations, regardless it is never justified to take someone’s life away. Jeffrey could have been caught before killing some more men, if the Milwaukee police made an extra effort, when you go through his documentary you will notice one of his victims a 14-year-old Laotian was drilled some kind of acid into his brain and he was knocked unconscious, during this time Dahmer stepped out of his apartment to get some beers, this boy gained his senses back and ran out butt naked to get some help and a group of ladies who saw him called the police immediately. Jeffrey returned to see the cops with the boy and he convinced them that he was his 19-year-old boyfriend and that they were having some kind of a couples dispute that night. The cops escorted the boy back to Dahmer’s apartment and left him to die with Jeffrey.

You see, I haven’t given you the intricate details of the crimes he did, it’s outright disgusting and I don’t need to because it’s all out there on the internet but I’m astounded at how manipulative and merciless Jeffrey had become, how did this once innocent beautiful child turn into a monster is something that still lingers in my mind. He was declared sane during the court proceedings although he was diagnosed with border line personality disorder, he still knew what was right and wrong.

Jeffrey in his own words said, he deserved death and that he was sick and evil. While many of the victims’ families don’t buy this. We’d never know if he was truly sorry but to some extent, I think he might have been and only because when he was bludgeoned to death in prison by another inmate, sources say Jeffrey never fought back and there were no signs of resistance, it’s like he was waiting for death. I do know he took baptism and wanted to turn away from his past and seek comfort in Christ and again there’s lots of speculation around the sincerity but that would certainly be something between him and God.

I don’t hate Jeffrey, I hate his crimes, hate that he decided to choose that kind of life. As I mentioned before his story stands out because his victims were men and boys and being a male it does perturb me, most of the worst crimes happen to women but men also become victims and stories of Theodore Robert Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, of course, leaves me in a state of dismay. Dahmer though probably has one of the saddest lives I have “witnessed”.