Traces Between Sunrises

The city greeted me before I learned its rhythm,
a quiet woman on the shore, 
stepping out of the soft morning light
to show me a picture of myself
watching the sunrise I came to find.
It felt like Da Nang saw me
before I learned to see it properly—
as if the sky introduced us
and she simply delivered the message.

Later, a stranger from Ecuador fell into step beside me,
a wandering soul with too much curiosity
and not enough roots.
We walked until the day cracked open into night—
past streets humming with motorbikes,
past boats in the docks,
ending the night lying on the sand, watching the stars
scatter themselves above us,
pretending the evening meant something.

The next day he rent a motorbike, 
even though he never ride one before, 
followed me to another city,
and let the wind decide our direction.
But adventure has a way of revealing intentions,
and eventually I learned 
he was only borrowing moments,
not offering any of his own.
Not every story is worth a second chapter.

There was a girl after that—
soft-spoken, easy smile,
who led me into a café hidden in the city 
surrounded by unexpected greenery
like it belonged to another world.
The place served nothing but drinks,
yet it offered peace I didn’t realize I needed.
The forest drank the silence for us,
and I found myself immersed in deep and fun conversations,
in ways that felt unplanned,
like a new friendship taking root
without asking for permission.

Marble Mountains gave me another surprise—
a man who said he wasn’t Filipino,
but slipped when he compared Bana Hills
to Enchanted Kingdom.
I laughed because familiarity always betrays us.
He laughed too, relieved to be found.

That night, I met a woman
whose presence filled the room
as if she held her life together
with force and fire.
Kind, but sharp-edged—
the sort of soul who makes you 
aware of your own softness, 
aware of every part of yourself.
I spent the night in her orbit,
wondering how many versions of me
I was shedding in this city.

Bana Hills came with heavy rain—
the kind that blurs everything
you hoped to see.
I changed my plans
to escape a storm
and still ended up inside one.
Most places were closed,
the wind too wild,
the sky too heavy.
I didn’t get to see it all, 
But maybe some experiences 
are meant to remain unfinished.

Somewhere between 
the fog and the cable cars,
I crossed paths with two warm strangers 
from far away—
quick stories, shared wonder,
easy laughter, 
a brief kindness before we drifted off 
in different directions.
And then came a familiar accent from home,
someone whose interest lingered 
past the mountains and the mist,
reaching out even after I flew home.


And then—
the beach again,
as if circling back
to where the story began.
A foreigner beside me,
both of us wanting the sky—
paragliding, jet ski, anything that felt like flight.
They wouldn’t let me go alone,
said the wind is too strong that day.
He asked if we could go together,
offered to pay for everything
just to share the moment.
Kindness from a stranger
took me by surprise
in a place I thought I was learning
on my own terms.

Vietnam held me gently,
then wildly,
then honestly—
with people who entered for a moment,
people who stayed a little longer,
and people who didn’t know
they would mark me at all.
I came there searching
for a break in my routine,
for space to breathe.
Instead I found pieces of myself
scattered across a coastline
that kept pulling me back—
to its sunrise,
to its stories,
to the way it reminded me
that even alone,
I was never truly unseen.

Even the Moon Disappears

The world will tell you
to run faster,
shine brighter,
prove your worth
in hours and outcomes.

But you know better.

You know
that some of the most beautiful things
grow in silence—
roots in the dark,
stars in the unseen corners
of night.

You’ve walked through days
that asked too much,
carried weight without complaint,
and still offered kindness
to those who never noticed.
That matters.
Even if no one claps for it.
Especially then.

So rest,
not as surrender,
but as ritual.
Breathe like trees do—
slow, grounded,
rooted in place yet always alive.
Let stillness rebuild
what the noise has taken.

You were never meant
to be a constant fire.
Even the moon disappears
and still returns,
again and again—
unchanged in its right to rest.
Its worth not dimmed
by its distance.
Its quiet phases
no less beautiful.

And you—
you, too, are allowed
to step back,
to become small for a moment,
to turn inward,
to choose stillness
over spectacle,
presence over performance.

Let this be your reminder:
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not required
to become something else
to be worthy of love,
of breath,
of this exact moment.

The path you walk
doesn’t have to impress anyone.
It only needs to hold you.
And it does.
Even when your pace slows.
Even when you pause.

You already know.
But I’ll say it again,
for the days you forget—
you are enough
even here,
especially here.

No is a Full Sentence

No.

Not harsh.
Not angry.
Just honest.

Simply No.

There was a time
when saying yes felt like love,
like being helpful
meant being good,
meant right,
was a purpose.

But I’ve learned the cost.
People take.
They test how far kindness stretches.
They assume availability
means agreement.

I’ve been there,
saying yes when I was tired,
agreeing when my gut said no,
showing up when no one
ever showed up for me.
And I’ve had enough.

Not every ask deserves a yes.
Not every hand reaching out
has good intentions.
Some just want access,
to what I give,
to what I offer,
to what they don’t return.

So now, I say no.

No is how I protect myself.
No is how I reclaim
peace
time
energy
and the values I refuse to trade
for anyone’s comfort.

I don’t owe an explanation.
Not everyone gets a reason.
Because the ones who push
won’t hear it anyway.

If no isn’t enough for them,
no explanation ever will be.

I’m done over explaining
just to be understood
by people who never tried
to understand me in the first place.

No isn’t a wall.
It’s a choice.
It’s me stepping away
from what drains
and returning to what grounds.

It’s not rejection.
It’s self-respect.
So when I say no,
I mean it.
Not because I’m unkind,
but because I finally know
I don’t have to earn my worth
by being available.

No is a full sentence.
And I’m done adding footnotes.

The Way He Loved 

Some loves are jagged,
not because they are meant to be,
but because they were fighting shadows
even we couldn’t see. 

There were nights
when the world tilted,
and I watched him lose himself
in a glass he promised he wouldn’t touch.
We broke in places I never spoke aloud. 

But I remember other nights too,
like when fever had me buried in sweat,
and he stayed by my side,
pressing cool towels to my skin
with hands that smelled of cigarettes
and worry. 

He didn’t say much.
He rarely did.
But his silence held things
I only understood later. 

Like how he’d prepare our meals every day, 
making sure we ate on time. 
Or how he patched the old fan again and again,
because he knew I hated the heat. 

He failed, yes, 
he stumbled more than once.
But what matters now
is that he tried. 

And that trying,
clumsy, fractured, incomplete,
was still love. 

I hold those memories,
not to rewrite the pain,
but to remind myself
that even damaged hearts
can choose to care. 

So when the ache rises,
when the past knocks hard, 
I open the door to that single image:
him by my bedside,
barely awake,
whispering, “you’ll be okay.” 

And somehow, I am. 

Because sometimes,
the smallest kindness
survives the loudest pain.
It lingers,
not to erase what hurt,
but to remind me
that he loved me
the best way he knew how.  

Still Here

She wakes in shadow.
Not night, but something heavier.
The kind of dark that doesn’t lift with the sun.

The alarm blinks red,
but her limbs feel like anchors.
The room is quiet,
too quiet,
loud with the noise in her head.

Some mornings, she doesn’t move.
Not because she wants to stay in bed,
but because gravity
feels like guilt.

Inside, her breath is uneven.
Her heart is carrying bruises no one can see.
She walks through the light
with shadows trailing behind her,
wrapped around her ankles like dead weight.

But she keeps going,
into meetings,
into conversations,
into rooms where she disappears
even when she’s seen.

She laughs when needed.
Nods when spoken to.
But inside,
a storm.
A quiet scream.
The heavy silence that no one hears.

At night, she stares at the ceiling,
blanket pulled to her chin like armor.
The moonlight filters in,
soft, pale, indifferent.

She fights demons with no name.
Thoughts that slip in like smoke,
telling her it would be easier
to stop trying.
To vanish.
To go.

And still,
she stays.
She breathes.
She waits.

Not because it’s easy.
Not because it’s better.
But because some part of her,
the smallest,
faintest flicker,
still hopes.

Hopes there’s a version of her
who gets to breathe without drowning.
Who travels far,
and finally feels like
she belongs somewhere.

She doesn’t believe in miracles.
But she believes in trying.
Even if no one sees it.
Even if it’s ugly, slow,
or quiet.

Because survival is not glorious.
It’s not loud.
It’s blinking into the dark
and whispering,
“Maybe tomorrow.”

And though her demons haven’t left,
and the dark still calls her name.
They sleep beside her.
Walk with her.
Speak through her.

But so does she.
Still standing.
Still moving.
Still here.

That, too,
is how heroes survive.

Just Keep Going

You just have to keep going,
even when your steps feel slow
and the days all blur
into the same shade of gray.

Don’t think too much,
don’t ask what it means right now.
Some things only make sense
when you’re far beyond them.

You used to write with ease,
like your soul had something urgent to say.
Now the page stays blank,
but the weight of the words is still there.

You used to draw without judgement,
just you and the lines,
no rules, or outline to follow.
You create something out of nothing.

You dream of walking unfamiliar streets,
of sitting by a window somewhere far,
sketchbook open, words swimming,
the world feeling possible again.

But today—
it’s this desk,
this task,
this quiet ache in your chest.

Still, you’re growing.
Not in the way you hoped,
but in the way you need.
That’s the truth.

Others saw your strength.
Some say you’re gifted.
They thought that you figure it all out.
But deep down it doesn’t feel that way.

In reality, it is all hard work.
You just kept moving,
even at times when you don’t want to,
you keep pushing.

Don’t be sad
if it feels like nothing’s changing.
You’ve shifted
before you noticed.

It’s always darkest
right before the light,
and the stars—
the ones that move you—
only show up
when it’s quiet,
when it’s late,
when it’s hard.

So hold on.
Even this stillness
is part of becoming.
You’ll be fine.
It will all work out.
Just keep going.