Blizzards

Posted on January 18, 2026 by swabby429

The wind was not unexpected, but it surprised me with its suddenness and force. The steel awning over the front door bucked and tried to fly away in response–the clunk of its recoil startled me. I opened the Venetian blind to check the weather. Thousands upon thousands of tiny flakes streamed nearly horizontally to batter the house like flak during an air raid. The sounds and sights heralded the start of a beautiful, terrifying change in the town.

In the comfort and relative safety of my home, the blizzard mesmerized me into a state of nostalgia. It has been more than a decade since I last walked home from work during a fierce, winter storm. Thankfully, the journey from downtown towards home was from northwest towards southeast. That meant I enjoyed the benefits of a tailwind. There was no worry about exposure and caked-over eyeglasses. To my delight, the gusty wind pushed me home. The mile-long commute was finished before I wanted. Thankfully, I would be home for an extended weekend because I had been granted earned time off from the studios due to working too many overtime hours the prior week.

Before bed, I opened the window blinds in the den, so I would be greeted by frosty beauty upon awakening in the afternoon. That is how it was as an overnight employee whose routine was temporarily interrupted. I slept soundly, knowing I’d need extra strength to shovel through the drifts that normally form on the north side of the house and garage. They appear as the result of wind being forced backwards from the outer walls of the buildings. In this instance, the height of the drifts would be formidable.

I have a love-hate relationship with blizzards. I love the majesty of the storms. They sculpt snow into sturdy, minimalistic waves around trees and other obstacles. The drifts in front of the garage are especially beautiful to behold. Yet, the snowpack means the snow is a heavy mass that is easy to underestimate. One must be careful to strategize how to shovel through it so as to avoid harming oneself through overexposure or overexertion. These days, I attack drifts from the north towards the south and am careful to take frequent rest breaks.

Whenever I finish the tasks, I usually stand in the middle of the driveway like a conqueror who has won countless battles. I’m happy to see cleared concrete bounded on the east by the shovelled snow cubes I cut to enable more efficient lifting.

The joy is short-lived when the scraping sounds of the city snowplow truck manifest down the street. The powerful machine’s blade will throw a ridge of snowpack in front of the freshly cleared driveway. It will be twice as hard as the natural drift I had just carved through. The last time this happened, I surrendered to technology and steered my electric snowthrower to chew through the snowplow ridge. I’m older now and must be more careful about how to ration my workload.

After the setback has been cleared, I feel even happier than before. With the chore completed, I am free to love the crisp, sunny day with its snowy contrasts and brilliance. I feel gratitude for the magnificent grandeur of winter’s dominion. I decide to reward myself with a drive through the rural area of the county to admire the raw aftermath of the storm. Somehow, I feel more aligned with the planet.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes British actor, comedian, and writer, David Mitchell. “How vulgar, this hankering after immortality, how vain, how false. Composers are merely scribblers of cave paintings. One writes music because winter is eternal and because, if one didn’t, the wolves and blizzards would be at one’s throat all the sooner.”

Posted in Contemplation, Environment, Hometown, Meanderings | Tagged | 7 Comments

Offending Others?

Posted on January 17, 2026 by swabby429

“The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.”–American author, columnist, and humorist, Dave Barry

We live in a society where being offended is considered laudable. Righteous indignation has considerable power to convince people that the world is going to Hell in a handbasket. Meanwhile, I am also capable of feeling offended by the actions and words of others–after all, I’m only human.

In my opinion, the state of being offended is to stand at the precipice of victim mentality. We can analyze people’s words and actions until the cows come home. Did they set out to deliberately insult us or did they fumble their social awareness? Meanwhile, it’s easy to be sanctimonious about our own behavior.

We rightfully like to enumerate the good things we have said and done in the service of community and humanity. We minimize our own wrongs and magnify the wrongs of our neighbors. Meanwhile, we know it is best to remember the good favors that others have done for us. In most instances, it’s best to forgive the misdeeds of others. The smart person forgets what others have done to offend them. An all too often mistake is to not ponder in depth what we have done to willfully or unwittingly offend others.

I’m not thinking about innocent faux pas that everybody commits. We reflexively get red-faced about them. I’m thinking about getting caught up in gossip-mongering, shifting blame, not taking accountability for an action, telling a little white lie, making a passive-aggressive comment, belittling a genuine accomplishment of an adversary, being boastful of our own actions–the list goes on and on.

We instinctively believe that our beliefs and activities are sacred and beyond disrepute. Yet, when we take the time to be frank in our introspections, we come to the conclusion that some of our acts and words do not come from pure intentions. Even then, it’s easy to spin justifications for them so as to ease our conscience.

It is sociably acceptable in some circles to deliberately insult others. There is the belief that an insult will cause the targeted individual to change her or his behavior or opinion. Is aggression truly the best strategy to accomplish a positive result? When was the last time a snarky remark about us caused us to change our minds? More likely, it caused us to further entrench our beliefs. The remark and our stubborn entrenchment may have escalated into anger. Tit for tat rarely results in favorable outcomes.

Then there are situations where we incite offense where no offense is intended nor anticipated. The person who speaks and acts genuinely in accordance with the best of intentions and in line with the highest ethics is offended and hated precisely because doing the right thing offends unscrupulous people. It is easy to back down in the desire to be liked and sociably amiable and not act and speak the truth as we see it.

Settling into accepting the status quo of unethical, behavior is not in one’s best interest. There are countless bad and evil individuals in our world, if we resist offending them, do we risk endorsing evil ourselves? If we turn a blind-eye away from social injustice because we fear offending the powers-that-be, can we claim innocence?

As we live our lives, we end up offending some people. I think of my own life as a gay man. In order to authentically live my life, my words and actions inadvertently offend some people’s “sincerely held” beliefs. I am left to determine whether or not any offensive remarks made by such individuals are intended to harm me and the LGBTQIA community. In some circles, simply being LGBTQIA is offensive.

If that is the case, there is little or nothing one can do to convince people to change their “sincerely held” belief. To live my life authentically, insults their belief system, to return to living secretly in the closet harms myself and others in the community. In my opinion, it is best to live one’s life authentically and ethically then let the chips fall where they may. It is vanity to believe that if I only need to wait in the sidelines, my adversaries will eventually see the light and become tolerant and accepting. Life does not work that way.

Sometimes, to make real progress, we unwittingly offend some people. I have done some offensive things in the past, and will probably, unintentionally do so again. Some of those offensive words and actions were mean-spirited and others were empowered by the sincere desire to do what’s right. I do right by myself and others by being forthright about my words and actions.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes Ancient Greek philosopher, Epictetus. “When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.”

Posted in Contemplation, Meanderings, philosophy | Tagged | 6 Comments

Made In Japan …Floral Friday

Posted on January 16, 2026 by swabby429

It’s been awhile since we’ve had a Floral Friday that features all three containers that are made in Japan. So, I scrubbed three pieces clean and buffed them dry. I brought out some floral elements and tools then assembled the projects.

The hexaganal pot and tray set is marked “Made in Japan” on both pieces. I decided to plant a mini shrub to add complexity to the simple, geometric pot.

The decorated black vase and the plastic cart stand were originally sold as a unit. Some contrasting flowers seemed like the best choices to enhance this 1960s container set.

A few weeks ago, a Dutch windmill themed Japanese planter was featured as a container for some succulents. This week, a similar hand-painted Dutch windmill scene graces a small Nippon vase from the 1950s. A tri-color grouping of small blooms effectively works its visual balance.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes contemporary Japanese artist and entreprenueur, Takashi Murakami. “Japanese people accept that art and commerce will be blended; and, in fact, they are surprised by the rigid and pretentious Western hierarchy of ‘high art.'”

Posted in Floral Arts, Hobbies, projects, Vintage Collectables | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Pondering Respect

Posted on January 15, 2026 by swabby429

“Respect is love in plain clothes.”–20th century Irish broadcast advice show hostess–“Dear Frankie”, Frankie Byrne

Respect is a powerful concept. It’s more than just being courteous or thoughtful. Respect is recognizing and seeing the humanity in others. Self-respect is the same idea but considering oneself. The two go together and work synchronously. One might say that respect without self-respect is another form of fear. In the same breath, self-respect without respect for others is another form of conceit.

When we genuinely respect another person, we reveal that hidden quality within ourselves. Just as one cannot demand true respect from others, we cannot demand it from ourselves. Authentic respect is not granted, it is earned. We can foster and cultivate respect by honoring our own lives. When we truly possess self-respect, it shows up in the ways we communicate and live. When it becomes integral to how we treat ourselves, it cannot help but become contagious.

Having integrated self-respect along with our other qualities and virtues automatically empowers empathy. When we empathize with others, respect for them follows close behind. In many instances the person we respect respects us in return because of her or his empowered empathy. It’s more than just acting towards others the same way we want to be treated. It is the acknowledgement that oneself and others are beings of great worth.

There is another quality that works as a result of respect, magnanimity. That is the ability to bear problems and disputes calmly. Magnanimity is the deliberate choice to disdain cruelty, meanness, and pettiness. We see magnanimity working in concert with respect when one adversary treats the other party respectfully. We see it in personal relationships when we grant unconditional love to someone we do not even like nor find agreeable. We do not treat others in ways, we ourselves would find hurtful–or some other variety of the Golden Rule.

Because respect and self-respect engage our empathetic impulses, we do not engage in manipulative behavior such as gaslighting. Even in the case of military interrogation, respect will yield better results than disrespectful methods that utilize ridicule. A magnanamous interrogator is better able to gain cooperation than an interrogator who uses threats of violence and pain. Pain and violence are usually counterproductive when used as interrogation techniques.

If respect works wonders with adversaries, imagine what it will do with people we admire, like, and love. Imagine what it will do when we engage respect for ourselves.

Namaste

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes New York City Council member, graphic designer, and professor, Robert Holden. “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”

Posted in Contemplation, philosophy | Tagged | 10 Comments

Punctilious But Flexible

Posted on January 14, 2026 by swabby429

“Be flexible, but stick to your principles.”–Eleanor Roosevelt

In a degenerate age such as the one in which we live, the smart person combines punctiliousness with flexibility. That is someone who is careful to behave appropriately–giving attention to details, and is open-minded to new ideas and visions. A wise uncle advised me to deal magnanimously with trusted friends and strictly with bad people–remaining steadfast to my principles and ethics in both cases.

If one has a reliable amount of notoriety and respect for following through on your obligations and promises, one should preserve that reputation in order to function well in society. At the same time, that person has the responsibility to himself and others to stretch the imagination and to be flexible to new ways of thinking.

We can shift our paradigms without giving up on our ethics and moral standards. Doing both strengthens the way we show up in life. Being reliably trustworthy and being open-minded to new pathways is a healthy way to interact with people and reinforces our own mental wellbeing. Punctiliousness is the foundation; flexibility is the art of creatively building upon that foundation.

A simple way in which this principle showed up in life was how my late friend Doug approached necktie wearing. He was punctilious regarding how he cared for his necktie collection, to the point of arranging them by color combinations and by the design of the ties. Yet he was flexible in the wearing of them. He liked to mix and match them with different outfits, sometimes out of context with the social situations in which they were worn. Everyone knew he would show up with a necktie, but we could rarely predict which one and how he would wear it.

I am reminded of the general manager of the supermarket where I worked during my college years. Archie was highly intelligent and punctilious in the performance of his managerial duties. He had a masculine bearing that commanded appropriate but not overbearing respect. He was nobody’s fool, but he was as warm-hearted as anyone could be. Archie was able to see latent talent in his staff and promoted people according to ability. He did not practice favoritism, but employees went the extra mile so as to not disappoint him. Regarding any employee or customer who tried to take ill advantage of his magnanimous nature–Archie was swift to fairly reprimand them. In other words, Archie was a boss people loved to work for.

To combine punctiliousness with flexibility results in decisiveness and persistance together with the ability to notice what works and what does not work. While keeping your eye on the ball, you’re open to swing or refrain from swinging at whatever the pitcher throws at you. To do this skillfully keeps you in the game.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes the President of Rwanda, Paul Kagame. “Let no one think that flexibility and a predisposition to compromise is a sign of weakness or a sell-out.”

Posted in Contemplation, philosophy | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Make Dreams Come True

Posted on January 13, 2026 by swabby429

When someone asks, “What is your biggest personal dream?”, I answer with peace on Earth or unconditional love everywhere. I like giving such answers because they are true and from the heart. However, they do not answer the querant’s question. They usually want to know of the next goal or objective I have on my personal agenda.

Unless the questioner is a very close friend, I do not give them an answer about the future, I give them an example about a recently completed project. This response usually satisfies them. I make it a point not to reveal my big dream for the future for a couple of reasons: 1. Telling it makes me feel as if I’ve already finished it. Motivation to actually start and finish it is diminished. The air is let out of the balloon. 2. I avoid having my efforts sabotaged. I learned the hard way that there are acquaintances and frenemies who are envious of me. They may outwardly praise and encourage me, but they are insincere and actually hope that I will fail. Some people may actively sabotage my efforts. An admiral never broadcasts the fleet’s strategy to the world.

To expand on the first point, telling others about one’s plans causes the mind to feel a false sense of accomplishment–it takes mental fuel away from one’s intent. This depletion of motivation is caused by any psychological boost or encouragement that is lavished upon you. The mind interprets public acknowledgement as an achievement by itself–making an actual accomplishment seem less important. At the very least, it encourages laziness.

I only share any major plan I have with a close ally with whom I have total confidence. This person will only give encouragement when it is due and will provide constructive criticism when it is needed. There will be no victory lap until the plan comes to fruition. Not only will this person be a true ally, they might even join my effort as a cohort.

On the second point, this one is more obvious. I sidestep other people’s doubt and skepticism. Their negative opinions or fake encouragement are a minefield of judgment and possible real sabotage. It also prevents adversaries from stealing ideas and making them their own. Furthermore, working discretely allows me to make mistakes privately thus avoiding public ridicule and the emotional damage ridicule causes. Learning from mistakes privately, allows better learning without public distraction.

In addition, working privately builds discipline and resilience. The eventual success feels deeper and more rewarding because it is an actual accomplishment and not just a bragging point.

Meanwhile, I have learned to only confide in a very few trusted people who have earned my total trust. They are the true allies who give helpful feedback and a pat on the back for minor successes along the way. When the plan finally manifests into reality, the results will speak for themselves.

If you were hoping that I might reveal my next big scheme to you right now, that will not happen. Like the admiral who refuses to reveal his strategy to the world, I am of the same mindset. Instead, I am happy to share my wishes for global peace along with hopes for universal, unconditional love.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson. “Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.”

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On Anemoia

Posted on January 12, 2026 by swabby429

Old postcards and photographs sometime make me wish for time travel. I’d like to visit the places and times depicted on the images. I wouldn’t want to actually, permanently live in those conditions; I just feel something akin to nostalgia about them. I intellectually understand that the “good old days” were probably not very good in comparison with today. Perhaps the feeling that tugs at the heartstrings is rooted in curiosity and stories I’ve read about the past.

There’s a word to describe this peculiar type of nostalgia–anemoia. A main aspect of anemoia is that the nostalgia is yearning for a past that one has never experienced or one that would be impossible for one to have lived. Another thing about it, is that the feeling is profound and visceral. There is no logical reason for the experience.

The etymology of anemoia states that it is derived from the Greek words for wind and mind. It is a melancholic, wistful yearning for a past that is not and could never be one’s own. It is triggered by our imagined belief in the collective history and tales we have been told or have read about. We may feel that we missed out on something important by not being alive during a certain bygone era.

There is an old photograph of two gentlemen standing on a London street corner in Edwardian England that has fascinated me off and on for the past few months. I wish I could step into that scene and evesdrop on the conversation the two men are having. I can almost hear the clip-clop of horses’ hooves on the pavement. I almost smell the polluted air in the city. Sometimes when I see the photo, I want to dress in dapper tails and a top hat like the elegant suit the gentleman on the left wears.

I understand that social attitudes would still be shaped by lingering Victorian uptightness, but I’m sure I could restrain my distaste for them during at least an afternoon. Maybe my attitude about the Edwardian rules is a manifestation of my memories of having to conform to social mores I lived through in my own past.

My own feelings of anemoia are not limited to Edwardian Great Britain. They find fuel in photos of the early 20th century–a time just before my birth. They make me feel like I have reincarnated from the horrific times of World War 2–almost as if I had been a soldier in the Wehrmacht or a sailor in the U.S. Navy. It’s not that I’d actually want to fight in that horrid war–it’s more about what if I had done so.

I recently scrolled through some archeological photographs of the ruins of ancient Pompeii. Of course, I did not want to experience the destructive times when Mount Vesuvius erupted. I yearned to walk the streets of the once magnificent city during its heyday. In my imagination, the luxurious villas would be beautiful. The public buildings would be stately. The marketplace would be teaming with all sorts of interesting people. Never mind that I’d have to learn how to communicate in Latin, in my mind, being in Pompeii for a month-long vacation would be lovely.

My personal feelings of anemoia are not about romanticizing the past–I know that it was vastly imperfect. It’s more about my imagination playing tricks through a rose-colored filter. The idealized past creates a deep emotional reaction to the supposed wonderfulness of bygone lives and times I could never personally experience. In reality, there would be many barriers to visiting Edwardian England, fascist-controlled Europe, and ancient Pompeii.

All things considered, I’d probably feel miserable. I might even get arrested by the authorities, or attacked by a mob, or accused of witchcraft. Who knows? Yet anemoia spontaneously appears regardless. Perhaps all I need to do is to rent some formal attire and a top hat to wear for a day. Would that make the yearnings for the Edwardian era stronger or just make me feel ridiculous?

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes 20th century American essayist, novelist, poet, and playwright, Carson McCullers. “We are homesick most for the places we have never known.”

Posted in Contemplation, cultural highlights, History, Meanderings | Tagged , | 12 Comments