Love wins!

I can’t believe 3 months have gone by since my last blog. We’re halfway through 2015 and I still can’t believe it. This is nuts! One thing I’m hoping you already knew prior to reading my blog is that..#LoveWins! California was one of the few states that hopped on the bandwagon to legalizing same sex marriages. As an American I am proud to say that “The U.S. is the 21st country to legalize same sex marriages nationwide. -CNN
This was definitely something to celebrate this past weekend at San Francisco Pride! I knew that eventually it would be recognized in every state but honestly, I didn’t expect it to be so soon since it took so long to get where we were at. The results were a huge surprise to me. I was receiving texts from loved ones celebrating the news and I had no idea what they were talking about until I scrolled through my social network timelines. Being in a relationship for over ten years it’s still amazing to see how much the world has changed for the #LGBT community! It still amazes me that same sex parents can be on a child’s birth certificate and to finally have the chance to be married and have it feel “normal” leaves me with no words. I have just sent off a wedding invitation to the white house (thanks Pinterest) in hopes of receiving a keepsake from the president who helped change history for the next generations. I’d love to be able to share that with our future family. Our kids’ kids will be surprised to hear that their mom’s, or grandma’s Em & Boo once lived in a time where their marriage wasn’t recognized (just like interracial marriages). Crazy, I know.

House Update: We knew that the year 2015 was going to be a hectic one for both Em and I hence the reason why I haven’t been blogging, however I now have some time to share! We put our house on the market this Spring in hopes to finally selling it after failing once before. It was all about timing and I had a good feeling about this 2nd time around! We only needed one person to fall for it the same way that we did 3 years ago. Luckily someone did! =) We ended up getting an offer the first weekend we put it on the market and we were moved in with my Mom and S.Dad by the end of May (28th). It’s been a fast month living here and I can’t believe that we’re closing on our 2nd home purchase if not this week (due to the holiday), then hopefully next week! But our scheduled close of escrow date was supposed to be tomorrow July 2nd. Em and I went house shopping one weekend and realized it was slim pickings and if we liked something we saw, then it was now or never! We made an offer on a halfplex in a part of Sacramento that we really wanted to be in! Our main goal this time around was location! This house is bigger than our first home and has little projects here and there but nothing we couldn’t do in a few weeks. I’m so excited to move in! We’re close to freeways (like the first house), in a much safer neighborhood, less than 10 minutes to shopping & entertainment…I’m so grateful! Although this can’t be our forever home (due to the master bedroom being the only room upstairs; not ideal for when we start a family), I can tell we’re going to enjoy our time here until we move on to a newer (& hopefully last) house. As soon as we’re settled in and do a few DIY projects then we’ll definitely share pictures! -Okay we just got an update today that the last of the paperwork was sent off to be reviewed tomorrow which means everything won’t close until Monday or Tuesday which leaves us the rest of next week to schedule our new floors to be put in (removing all carpet)! So we won’t officially be moved in until next weekend (July 11th) or even the week after. We’re in the homestretch! I’m hoping the days go by fast but I must admit that I’m going to miss seeing my family every day @ Mom’s. Meh. It’s all so bittersweet!

Wedding Update:With all the chaos of working full time, managing QT with the fiance, watching unnecessary addicting shows, balancing ME time, spending time with our pups, and everything else in between…there is a wedding to be planned! I don’t know if it’s the heat or what, but I’ve been super lazy and unmotivated to figure things out (without Em sitting right next to me to help make decisions). I’m not going to lie, but whenever we bring up something about the wedding we end up disagreeing and just dropping the subject all together. I’m pretty sure it’s this hot Sacramento weather making us grumpy. LOL. There are a few things that have been sorted out though! My talented uncle is gifting us the photography for this special moment in our lives and we’re beyond thankful! I was literally speechless when he said he’d do it for us because I always knew I wanted him for the job. I’ve seen his talent but we never knew how to ask for the favor. Thanks for offering uncle! 😉
I have purchased my dress for the reception (I think) which leaves me the task of finding a dress for SF City Hall. I got an amazing deal thanks to my friend Kaudua for helping me figure out where to buy from. I took the chance of ordering overseas and online but I gave precise measurements rather than just choosing a size from their website. I’m hoping it all works out and the dress is as beautiful as the pictures/reviews. The good thing is if I don’t end up liking it, I wouldn’t have taken a huge financial loss and it’s still early enough for me to find something else. What is my fiance going to wear? She has no idea! =P Someone should tell her we only have 222 days left!
We’re still in the process of figuring out center pieces, invitation inserts, ALL of the DIY projects for decor, hotel for both San Francisco & Roseville…the small list goes on. I’m currently researching makeup artists for the big day! Em claims she’ll do her own makeup while I’m over here considering spending hundreds because I’m looking for a specific look for this mug of mine. In the end all you have are the pictures (other than your memories) and I want to look back and remember feeling beautiful. If that means spending a pretty penny to get an artist that I want then so be it! [Bridezilla moment? 🙂 ] One of my big focuses is also figuring out this Bachelorette party thing. Normally a Maid of Honor and bridesmaids plan this but because we don’t have a bridal party (& I’m very anal about how things are done), I have sort of taken on the task. I’m sure I’ll ask our close friends for help but I need to figure out a time and place (which I already have an idea of) and we’ll go from there. I feel there’s so many parties before an actual wedding: engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. I was seriously asking myself if this crazy shindig is even necessary, but I think it is! It’s one last time to let loose after all the stress of planning everything for this upcoming Valentine’s Day. But then again, it’s not always comfortable to have a stripper on your lap while your mother or auntie is in the same room. LOL! It’s a challenge just trying to figure out guests to attend without inviting everyone on our wedding guest list (which is already a tight list of 150 people, but of course 150 people can’t attend a Bachelorette!) Decisions…decisions.

Wow! I feel like I have been sitting here forever writing this all out. I think I covered everything that was in my caffeinated brain of mine. Overall, I think we’re still doing okay with this wedding timeline. We definitely have to pat ourselves on the back for being able to sell/move out of our first home, & purchase a new home all within a month or so. We’re incredibly thankful for the help of our friends and family. ❤ I can’t wait to have a place to call our own again to have game nights, parties and random kick it’s! Stay tuned for the next update we have for you guys. Thanks for taking the time to read! 🙂

Ps: I seriously just reread this blog and zoomed right through it when it took me over an hour to write it! What the heck?! Should these things be longer or am I doing this right? Somebody let me know!

Procrastinating Bride?

Every single day I think about our wedding! Is that normal? I find myself at work getting ideas about one thing and then switching to another thing. I really should be jotting every thought down! Shame on me to leave it up to my brain to retain all this information. Lol. I told myself to do research a few times a week but I find myself procrastinating on blogging and researching EVERY day of the week! It’s officially the 2nd month into wedding planning and according to my bride guide which my good friend Kaudua gave me, I technically haven’t had anything “due” that I haven’t already taken care of. This leaves us with options to work on whatever we want to first. Personally I’d like to get as much of the “big stuff” done as I can and that would mean dress, and invitations as of right now. The DIY projects to help enhance the beauty of the reception will follow afterwards.

Dress(es): Although the dress is a very important part of a woman’s special day, I don’t think the price of most dresses are right for me. Instead of reenacting my very own episode of “Say Yes to the Dress” I think I’m going to end up customizing something perfect for me and from overseas. Again, a big shout out to my friend Kaudua for helping me find a great website. Her dress was breathtaking for her wedding day and you would NEVER guess the low price she paid for how beautifully made it was.I have a basic idea of what I’d like to wear to SF City Hall and the reception. I have taken screen shots on my phone of dresses that I like different parts from in hopes of creating something that fits me perfectly. That’s another thing I’ve been trying to do, watch what I eat just to see if I can lose a little bit before I actually send in my measurements to the dress makers! I’ve already lost a few pounds but let’s see where I end up in a couple of months. As for my fiance poo, she’s still on the search for what look she’s going to go for.

Invitations: are a big part of a wedding, especially if you have a specific theme. I spent a couple days researching different websites in search of a decent design and for the right price! I found nothing! I heard on average that couples spend up to $200+ on invites alone. Every decent invitation I found was over $2 per page. My mind couldn’t justify spending that much on paper when I know some folks will end up throwing it away (not me though, I keep all my invitations to get ideas and because we haven’t been invited to many weddings)! I just have to say thank God for Groupon! One of the overpriced websites that I wanted to use finally has deals on Groupon. The deal was for 110 custom invites for $44.99 WITH SHIPPING!! Is that not insanely good?! It’s going to be hard for me to not share all the deals we find during wedding planning. A lot of people would ask, “Why are you putting your financial business out there?” But I know there are a ton of women out there who may be doing a last minute elopement or wedding and I want them to know it’s POSSIBLE to find deals within your budget. It only takes one person to inspire another. 🙂

Photography: Okay I know I said my main focus was dress and invites but ultimately Photography is a big deal! At the end of the day all you’ll have left to remember this special night will be the pictures/videography! So in a way, I think it’s number 1 on the list! I have one photographer that I’d LOVE to work with but she’s recently grown in her career which gives her the right to have her prices high as the rest of the competition, if not higher! I want my photographer to have a specific eye and I could tell by looking at their work if they’ll be able to meet my needs or not. I have several friends that were fortunate enough to find talented photographers who were just starting out and needed to build their portfolios so they’re pricing was ideal. I originally wanted to spend less than $1,000 on photography but the more I research the more I’m finding that impossible! I’ve been comparing prices/packages from photographers that have been recommended to me from family and friends but if I’m going to pay the high prices they’re asking for then I better get the quality I expect. I have yet to find that! Okay, am I sounding a little bridezilla-ish right now? I don’t think so! I just know what I want. 😉 I know there’s plenty of time to research but I’m just hoping that the talented photographer will fall from the sky and say, “I’d love to capture your wedding for a reasonable price since I don’t have any professional experience and I’d love nothing more than to just build my portfolio.” If you guys know anybody who is looking to do just that, please send them my way! In the mean time I’ll continue to compare prices and contemplate if I should just fork up the dough for the one photographer I want..

Phew! I feel so much better getting all of that written out. Thanks for taking the time to get inside my head. 😉

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentines Day! I can’t believe we’re already into the 2nd month of 2015! It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged mainly because the end of 2014 was busy celebrating my birthday, finishing up Christmas shopping and spending time with family. We also just celebrated our 9 year anniversary (“about a week ago, week ago.” Lol. I honestly don’t know when that’s going to get old for me.) and we had a romantic getaway to Monterey. The views were seriously beautiful and I’m so thankful that sun came out to play, instead of the storm that was supposed to happen. We had some amazing food, went to Monterey Bay Aquarium, walked around Cannery Row and did the scenic 17 mile drive. =) The night before we went to the luxury theater (Studio Movie Grill) in Rocklin, but I’m sure you guys saw all of these pictures from IG & FB! But just in case you missed it, here ya go!

So you’re probably reading this blog because you’re interested in an update on our lives and our relationship. February is such a significant month for us because of our anniversary and what’s in store for our 10 year anniversary brings butterflies to my tummy! We decided that we’re going to take the plunge and….tie the knot! Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!! Wait did I really just say that? WE ARE GETTING MARRIED? AFTER 10 YEARS? Let’s all say it again, “AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Okay I’m done. So yes, 365 days from now we’ll be celebrating our wedding reception with close friends and family. This was a very last minute thing, and we figured “it’s now or never! This is our 10th year, let’s do it big!” At the end of last year we started what we thought to be a new chapter in our lives, but soon found that the chapter was going to close earlier than we expected. This is a story I’ll share with you a little more down the road, but after LIFE happened…we decided to stay busy and commit to planning this (wedding) reception and nothing else.

Let me start off by asking, “Why are both of our families so huge? Why do we have so many dear friends who support us?” By all means we aren’t complaining but it honestly makes this guest list that much harder to narrow down to just 150! Like I said, this was a spur of the moment decision and it’s not like I’ve been that girl that’s been saving for her wedding since she was a teenager! If you guys remember a few blogs back, I didn’t even have marriage at the top of my priority list. But I have definitely learned that life doesn’t always go the way you plan it to and that you just have to have faith and go with the flow. The flow is leading us to SF City Hall to finally exchange vows with a reception on Valentine’s Day. I also have faith that our wedding will be everything we envision while staying within budget. We are paying for this ourselves…and that means saving for our day, on top of maintaining a mortgage, 2 car payments and all of our other bills [just a little grown up rant for ya]. If you know us, you know we don’t ask for help (financially) & we take challenges head on! Being a grown up (kid) ain’t so bad. We got this! 😉 But of course all donations will be greatly appreciated & accepted. Lmao.

So back to our guest list problems…it’s seriously been our biggest stress for the past few weeks. We don’t want any of our loved ones to feel hurt and we don’t want anyone to stress if they didn’t receive anything in the mail yet. There’s still a chance for us to invite you! If you do receive something from us, I encourage you to let us know as soon as possible if you’ll be able to make it all the way out to this side of town (and on Valentine’s Day). We won’t be hurt, we know you love us, but the sooner we know who won’t be able to make it…the sooner we can invite others who can. =) Plus, those who can’t make it to dinner can still stop by afterwards to say hi, party, and drink with us! I’ve been told that if you make it out alive through wedding planning, then your marriage is gonna work. Man…have you tried planning a wedding with TWO BRIDES?! Lol. That’s what I thought! I swear…if we make it through this I will bet money we can survive through a zombie apocalypse together! haha!

So be prepared to hear me rant about my wedding problems and everything else in between in this year to come! Em and I have a lot of pinning on Pinterest to do! What do we want to wear? How do we want our invitations to look? Our wedding colors aren’t set in stone yet. Center pieces? What’s on the dessert table? This should be fun…

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY again, from Em and I! Now go do something super romantic! Even if you don’t have a significant other, there’s someone who loves you to pieces! 🙂 Today can be celebrated by everyone! Feel the love love love because I do! ♡

Our Future Wedding Day

I have been going over this blog in my head for weeks but haven’t had the motivation to actually write it out. I know…I know…shame on me! But I have my friends Ben & Jerry (Phish Food) by my side to help me out. 🙂

What do Em and I see for our wedding day? For the longest time I felt that because we’re waiting so long to take the plunge then it should be worth the wait. I can tell you that it’ll definitely be worth the wait, but that doesn’t necessarily mean having it be over the top! If you know Em and I then you would know that we’re very practical and like to stretch our money as far as we can. We have a strict budget for our big day but I don’t want our guests to feel like it’s “a wedding on a strict budget”. I see it as a challenge to test our skills! 😉 I know this isn’t something we can do on our own, but we know a handful of people who will be able to help us plan it all.
After talking it out with Em, we came to the agreement that we just want to PARTY with some of our close friends and family members. A few years back we attended an auntie’s wedding (I like to refer to her as Carrie Bradshaw because rather than having a flashy wedding or diamond ring, she has a closet practically worth diamonds). This wedding wasn’t really a wedding, it was a reception with family and good food! She got married at SF City Hall on a Friday and brought all of her loved ones together for food and drinks at Osha Thai restaurant on Saturday. We never attended a (wedding) reception so simple yet so effective. It was short and sweet but it was still just as special as any extravagant (wedding) reception. We envision the same for our big day! We decided to not have a wedding party (we have so many dear friends close to us and if we did, our wedding entourage would be like 15+ people!!). So we decided to eliminate the stress of choosing those people, choosing their attire, coordinating everything with everyone, etc. We know that the important folks know who they are and we trust that they’re going to be there for us regardless to help ease some of the stress.
After doing a ton of Pinterest-ing I found that I have to get married at SF City Hall as well! I’m lucky that Em is so willing to make me happy for that day because she could care less where the location is (Lol. She’s such a guy)! Both of our families are from SF and it’s one of the most beautiful cities in the U.S.! The pictures captured inside and out of City Hall are just breath taking to me! I also think a little part of me wants to get married here because my parents did, although their marriage didn’t last, I know that on that day the LOVE was there…and to be able to share that same love with Em as we exchange our vows makes my heart smile. 🙂
So like Carrie Bradshaw (& my auntie), we’ll have a small and simple wedding at City Hall and then the party will continue the following weekend at a beautiful venue! Food, cake and favors are a must but another must have for us is DANCING! What kind of wedding would our wedding be without dancing?!! Crazy talk right? Luckily my father is a DJ (yes I still consider him “cool”) & he’ll be DJ-ing for his first born’s wedding reception! So that just leaves us to figure out the food, the dessert table, cake, photo booth, timeline of the reception & the little details in between will be extra ( but not necessarily needed). We want nothing more than to capture all the fun on camera, have our guests feeling full off good food, and drinking/dancing the night away! By eliminating an actual wedding ceremony that leaves us more time to party at the venue! oooohh yeaaaah…more time for cha cha, line dancing and the shmoney dance! (LMAO. I’m totes not even kidding either)This is just a rough draft of what we had in mind for our special day, or days if you will. Things are subject to change but this is pretty much the big picture. =P We still don’t know what we want to wear for ourselves however we’ll obviously keep that a surprise for everyone! 🙂 As far as the date…you’ll just have to stick around for the ride and find out! Thanks for reading! If you have any recommendations or tips with anything, I’m all ears!

The Proposals

I have been avoiding writing this blog because it’s taking forever and a day to retrieve some of these pictures! Let me start off by sharing my thoughts on marriage. I grew up with parents who married young and eventually grew apart and divorced when I was around 12-13. As I grew older, marriage was the last on my priority list. I knew for sure I wanted to buy a house and become a mommy long before I ever thought to plan my wedding. Although I’ll admit that I found myself sometimes dreaming about what I wanted on that special day, then I’d make a mental note and move on. I am a hopeless romantic but while growing up, I realized that I didn’t need a piece of paper to tell me that I was going to spend Forever with someone. Love was enough for me. I felt that it was just a way to make things official, legally.

Em proposed to me one random night after work the summer of 2008 or 2009? Yes it was so long ago I can’t even recall the exact date. 😦 I came home after closing at work (Six Flags Discovery Kingdom, where we both worked. Lol), and when we got home Em went to the bathroom and I walked into our room with a ton of candles. (I don’t think I was supposed to go in there yet, but where did she expect me to go right when I got home? Lol) Umn…*walks to the bathroom door* “Bub what’s going on?” Her response was, “It’s a surprise!” So I waited for her to finish in the bathroom and she lead me to the room with my eyes closed. She was in a cute button up with a tie on but then she had pajama pants and slippers on. HAHAHA. (That part makes me smile every time I think about it) Then she sat me on the bed, got on one knee and did her proposal. Me being the person to always “ruin the moment” I couldn’t help but think of all the things I wanted for our wedding and how we weren’t close to being able to afford any of it, etc. My mind races like that. My response was, “We can still be engaged for a long time right? Until we’re ready for that day?” Her response was something like, “Yes…of course!” (I think she expected that of me because she knows me better than I know myself). Then I happily said, “Yes I will marry you!” 🙂

(Since this photo we have both upgraded our rings and will probably do it again before our big day!)

Although the proposal was already given to me, I figured she deserved a proposal too! We’re far from traditional and make our own rules right? So I proposed to her the following year (which makes me think it was 2009 & she proposed in 2008), in February. It was either our anniversary or Valentines Day (since they’re only a week apart) and we went to Palo Alto to grab my favorite cupcakes ever…SPRINKLES! Then we decided to enjoy the box with dinner at Bucca Di Beppo. I pre ordered my dozen cupcakes and requested that they write “Will you marry me” on the message card (inside of the box). Then after dinner she opened the box, read the message and I pulled out her ring! Of course she said yes and she didn’t hesitate to sarcastically act like a girly girl and show off her ring. 🙂

Stay tuned to find out what we envision for our special wedding day…one day. 😉

Coming out of the closet

I vaguely remember coming out to my parents my Sophomore year in High School. I wish I remembered it word for word but I’ll do my best to recall each time. I was lucky enough to grow up with very young and Americanized (Filipino) parents! They are far from traditional and pretty open minded. To this day, I feel that everyone a part of my parents’ generation are way younger and cooler than they should be. I am not ashamed to hit the club with them! Lol. Okay I’m getting off subject…
Coming out to mom: I remember we were in the kitchen and it was the perfect time to tell her since it was just the two of us. If I know my mother right, I knew that if I ever wanted something I needed to make sure I did my research, have all the facts and reassure her that everything was going to be okay. (i.e: when I convinced her to get my tongue pierced and my belly at age 13. haha) So I said nonchalantly, “Hey mom, remember that girl Em I told you about? Well…we’re talking now, but don’t worry, it’s probably just a phase!” I believe mom’s response was something like, “You know I don’t discriminate. You love who you love.” I think I was just worried about putting my mom in an uncomfortable situation when others asked about her children. But I’m proud to say that I’ve seen my mom grow through this “phase” of mine (that I probably won’t ever get out of. Lol). I love that she’s open and proud to share that her daughter has been in a committed relationship with another woman for all these years.
Coming out to dad: This one was kind of funny and quicker than I expected. So I remember we were driving around Antioch in his Honda and I kept insisting that I had something to tell him. I think I also told him that it was a secret? (crap..where has my memory gone?) Then he said, “What? That you’re Bi?” Me: “Yeah! How did you know?” Dad: “I remember you telling me that your friend Dom was Bi.” Me: “Oh yeah..okay well I have a girlfriend!” Don’t really recall much after that!
I realize my story is very anticlimactic. =( I’m sorry I don’t have a juicy detailed story! This was literally a test of my memory. I’m aware that not everyone’s “coming out” story was as easy as mine. Please know that you are not alone. Just make sure you try to find someone to talk to about it. Just sharing it with one person can help you get closer to being comfortable enough to come out…but be sure you do it when you’re ready.
Coming out to family & friends: Like all families, word spreads fast so I’m sure a lot of people knew I was gay before I even got to tell them myself which was fine because none of my relationships changed. Everyone treats me the same and welcomes Em with open arms (even the older “traditional” Filipinos). =) In elementary I grew up to be very self conscious and insecure because I was teased a lot!! I literally was the only Filipino girl at my school that I knew of. So I know how it is to be picked on because you’re considered a minority. When I started middle school (in a better neighborhood) it was like starting with a fresh slate & I actually went to school with kids who were friendly! I told myself that I wouldn’t ever give people the opportunity or advantage to make me feel insecure again. With my hard-ass mentality came this “IDGAF what others think of me” persona. They either accepted me for who I was or I didn’t need them in my life. I honestly think that if you have self confidence and self acceptance then people have no other option than to accept you for YOU.

Blue Is The Warmest Color

Can I take the time to talk a little big about the movie I’ve been obsessing over for the past few days? Em’s cousin & friends told us to watch this film on Netflix when we went to visit in NYC earlier this year. We didn’t get around to it until this week. They kept describing it as BEAUTIFUL and it’s truly is one of my fave movies now! The entire film is in French with subtitles & I’ll warn you now that this film may seem VERY explicit to a lot of you out there. But if you can look past that and find the true beauty and authenticity of the characters’ love for one another, then you’ll be good. =) In my eyes, this movie is GORGEOUS.

A good movie to me, brings out emotions within. Whatever I watch on the big screen I try to tie in how these stories relate to mine. Being in a relationship as long as we have, I love taking the time to reminisce on how everything began and exactly how I felt at that time in our lives. This movie was able to bring all of those emotions back for me! The desire, PASSION, and love between Emma & Adele is nothing short of amazing! Not only that, seeing Adele discover herself was just inspiring! The fact that she was only 15 reminds me of someone’s story. 😉 Watching these two fall in love brought back every intense emotion I felt for my first (& only) true love, and girlfriend. There’s just “somethin” about the first one eh?! Lol. This film made me angry, made me cry, and everything in between. I highly recommend it to anyone questioning their sexuality, anyone in a relationship (guy or girl, young or old), or just ANYONE. Again, if you can’t handle explicit sexual scenes then you might not get through the entire 3 hours but at least you tried. 🙂 Ok, I’m done sharing. Are you going to watch it now? Ps) The movie is like 3 hours long and it wasn’t long enough! You seriously NEED to see more but of course, they leave it up to our imaginations…

One of my fave quotes: “I miss you. I miss not touching each other. Not seeing each other, not breathing in each other. I want you. All the time. No one else.”

How we met…

First blog!! Okay, here we go. How did Em & I meet? Well we started “talking” when I was 14, about to turn 15. (Yes, that sounds young to me now, but I matured faster than most at that age.) [in the pics up top Em is on the left & she’s 16. I’m on the right & 14] I actually met Em through an ex boyfriend!! They went to the same school and I remember him mentioning that she had a girlfriend. I thought, “Oh that’s cool,” she was the only one I knew in a downe relationship, and our age. (definition of downe according to Urban Dictionary: A person who identifies as homosexual, gay, bisexual, or queer. Frequently used within Filipino American and Asian American GLBT communities.) After breaking up with my boyfriend I continued to meet just a few more friends that were openly Gay or Bisexual. I told myself that my next relationship will be with a boy or a girl, whichever came my way first.

Later on in the same year (2004) I ended up IMing (AOL Instant Messaging for you young kids out there. Lol) Em for help because I didn’t know how to use html codes to make my Xanga (online blog site) look pretty! We always kept in touch through Downelink and Myspace but we still never met in person. This was very common back in the day; making hella friends online and never meeting them! We were chatting for HOURS that night I asked for help! I swear I could feel she was flirting with me but I was so shy & didn’t know what to say. Naturally I’m a flirt (well back then I was), so I told myself to “flirt back with her as if she were a guy.” That’s easy! *send* After continuing to flirt for hours…we finally went to bed and then her “away message” confirmed that this was going to be more than just this one AIM conversation. Her message said, “My infatuation with you is taking me on an emotional high…” (name that song!) My mouth dropped, butterflies took over my tummy and I questioned if that message was for me (but who else would she be talking to until 3am?)!

Em was really good with her words. That was one of the things I fell for first. After that night we continued to talk on the phone (for hours! Like, sleep with a hot phone on the charger near your face kind of thing), text (thank God for unlimited), & through our social networks. I met her face to face for the first time at my Dad’s house one random night. He lived in Antioch which was much closer to her than my mom’s house in Sacramento. Her friend dropped her off and right when I opened that door and my eyes laid on hers, my heart got super heavy, the butterflies attacked again, & I swear to you (as corny as it sounds) I knew I had no control over what my heart wanted. In such a short amount of time we learned so much about each other and I knew I loved her. There’s no doubt about that. (& this wasn’t a word I just threw around) We soon made it official! We were girlfriends! I had everything I wanted in my life at the moment but then there was an unexpected turn..
When Em’s ex girlfriend (who was her first love) started to move on, she ended it with me to try again with her. That killed me… but I’m a prideful person so I never let her know that I was hurting. She had such a big chunk of my heart that I never got back. I didn’t feel right. All through 2005 our timing was so off. This was the year we talked to other people (she wasn’t with her first love anymore) but we never had the right opportunity to pick up where we left off. For a lot of that year I wasn’t even “allowed” to talk to Em, per my ex girlfriend (who was Em’s friend as well. Sadly that “girl code” doesn’t really apply to the downe community because it’s so small, you’re bound to get with someone who’s been with someone you know).

After all that drama and 2006 came rolling around Em and I knew the connection between us never left. I was “allowed” to attend her Debut (18th Bday party) and that was the night we realized we wanted to pick up where we left off. There were a few complications in the process but we officially got back together February 7th, 2006! We’ve been inseparable since then! 😉 We’re coming up on 9 years straight in just a few months. Time seriously flies when you’re having fun growing together. A lot of relationships fail because of the lack of communication! COMMUNICATE! Tell each other when you’re happy/sad, feeling wanted, feeling disconnected, and make sure you come to a compromise to fix it. It’s sad to see a couple who started their relationships young and just grew out of love or grew up into different people and part ways. I’ll admit I’m not a very PDA kind of person, so a lot of the time our friends & family hear us bicker back & forth but behind closed doors I’m thankful that I do have a fiance that communicates with me. =) I love her. I love us.

the same ‘ol kids! 24 & 26 now. 10 yrs later..