boozebrain

God’s sunrise will break in upon us

Shining on those in the darkness,

Those sitting in the shadow of death,

Then showing us the way, one foot at a time,

Down the path of peace.

(Luke 2:79)

Sobriety is the way out. The way clear of our self constructed fears.

Unforgiveness seems to rule this world. We struggle to forgive ourselves let alone others.

We cling to our fears. Our dislikes. Our critical, unkind minds. We feverishly look for ‘others’ to blame for our woes. We justify it all with clever ideas and words. We can even create laws to explain our actions. We are trapped in darkness, but we call it light.

Sobriety allows me to take that one step at a time. Yes, some days it’s more like three steps forward & two steps back. That just seems to be the deal with being human. It’s taken me a long time to accept that.

Sobriety unlocks the gates of hell – which is what addiction is – a daily, hourly self made hell. Addiction is a beast. Too big to be tackled alone. Unlocking the gates, requires the help of others. Even strangers in an online recovery group can be a huge help. It takes support to walk free & most importantly, to stay free. Isolation will only lead us back to addiction.

So my friends, be kind today to others, to strangers, for we have no idea what they are struggling with. A smile or kind gesture may be the difference between their ongoing hell or a tiny step towards freedom.

Boozebrain

Tis my birthday. 🎂

Another day sober.

Another month sober.

Here’s to all who are struggling with any type of addiction and hoping to break free. Surround yourself with support as best you can. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help.

Addiction is too big to be tackled alone. In my experience, addiction prefers you to be alone. Addiction wants you to be isolated. Thats why many have said that the opposite of addiction is connection.

Boozebrain

Sobriety is not just another competing idea.

It’s more a process than a conclusion.

More a way of relating than a way of explaining.

More a bloody wrestling match than a dull classroom lesson.

Thanks to Richard Rohr for his ongoing wisdom.

Another day sober.

Take care all.

Boozebrain

Merry Ho Ho Ho one & all.

Another year gently passes by. I’ve had highs and lows, as is the price of being human.

Alcohol slipped back in my life early this year. Despite first stopping in 2013, I succumbed to unhelpful stories about ‘drinking differently this time.’

Clearly I was using alcohol to mask underlying concerns.

Thankfully, the last six months have seen me find my way back to sobriety and a better life.

Have a wonderful 🎄 all

Oh, and I always liked this quote.

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” – Anonymous

Boozebrain

Bill knew much about addiction. He remains my favourite comic, despite all the years that have passed since he left our world.

Hell is within.

Addiction is hideous, and yet, working through it can transform your life.

Once we stop running, stop blaming, stop numbing out, cease avoiding reality, only then can we tackle the root causes of our own engineered hell.

Bill was pro peace, pro social justice, pro love. He despised war and all those weapons companies, politicians and individuals who benefit from it. Bill continues to inspire me.

Thanks for helping me stay sober Bill.

Boozebrain

Another day of sobriety.

Another day of interacting with the world.

Half the world, it seems, is beautiful, full of joy, wonder, forgiveness, creativity and love.

The other half seems broken. Immersed in violence, ego, a lust for power, privilege and greed. Warmongers wreaking havoc upon the world.

I think my occasional urges to drink stem partly from trying to hold onto this ever present tension in the world.

Sometimes the pain hits so hard, drinking seems a simple way to combat the hurt. The wretchedness of war, of governments, the billionaires and weapons companies making profits from suffering.

I know, in this very moment, that alcohol serves no purpose in my life.

May I recall these words from one of my favourite mystics…

I have been struggling with alcohol since 2000.

Over the past twelve years, I have happily been sober for eleven of them.

Over that time, I have carried out four different ‘experiments’ in ‘controlled drinking.’ Every experiment ended in abject failure.

Last week I came soooooo close to drinking. I had the vodka in my hand. Divine intervention allowed me to summon the courage to put the bottle back on the shelf and calmly exit the store.

For 15 minutes I debated my inner voice. ‘Go on, one drink won’t hurt. It’s stressful times at home and work. Your partner’s drinking, and indeed, so is everyone.’

The mind games, the cravings, the lunacy of it all.

20 weeks sober today yippee.

I only know a little about Hidegard. One of the great women leaders and mystics of the early church. A powerhouse.

I stumbled across this reflection yesterday and it brought me comfort in my sobriety. Maybe it will resonate with you also.

Boozebrain

Holy Life-Giver, 

Doctor of the desperate,

Healer of everyone broken past hope,

Medicine for all wounds,

Fire of love, fragrant Strength, sparkling Fountain,

Protector!

In You we see how God goes looking for those who are lost  and reconciles those who are at odds with God.

We praise You. Light-giver, Sound of joy, Wonder of being alive, Hope of every person: You are our strongest Good. Alleluia!

~ Hildegard von Bingen (1098-1179)*

Sobriety continues.

Clarity evolves.

Three steps forward and two steps back.

Wars and injustice rages on.

Powerful forces corrupt the world.

Watching the ongoing suffering of the powerless (particularly the children) is hard to take.

Watching the apathy of world leaders is baffling.

The world’s media betrays itself.

Yet, I pray for peace, for understanding, for joy.

I march.

I send emails to politicians.

I try and make a shred of difference from my privileged existence.

May peace and sobriety continue to work for good.

Boozebrain

Kindness combined with firmness.

In an infinite amount.

Nobody wants to be lectured, nagged, yelled at, made to feel inferior.

What we need is to be understood and held accountable.

We need boundaries. Boundaries to push against, to test our limits, but also to contain, to keep us safe.

We have to be our own boundary riders.

Alcohol (and other addictions) corrupt my awareness. They distort both my understanding and my accountability.

Sobriety is the key…for me.

Boozebrain