Cap’n Calico Jack’s Blog

“Though I’m not naturally honest, I am sometimes so by chance”

Ungkapan tersebut termasuk ke dalam fikiran den semasa den diminta memberi pendapat mengenai satu kit ujian saringan cepat H1N1. Kebaikan kit ni diuar-uarkan oleh pengedarnya — yang telah membuat homework menerusi softening technics pemasaran dengan mengatur satu ‘seminar’ di hotel lima bintang, lengkap dengan jamuan dan ‘goody bags’ — kepada organisasi den dengan data yang sekali imbas sangat meyakinkan. Tapi selepas dua tiga kali imbas den tak berapa yakin dan menyatakan pendapat den. Nasib baik saranan den disokong oleh beberapa rakan lain dan seterusnya diterima. Justeru, tak jadi beli kit tersebut. Kekadang susah juga nak beri pendapat ‘contra’ — dan seterusnya mengambil risiko menjadi tak popular — apabila majoriti sudah menyendeng kepada ‘pro’ di dalam sesuatu isu.

Amma ba’d,

Tujuan den sebenarnya nak menanya siapa yang menulis ungkapan di atas.

Ramai yang mempercayai yang ungkapan tersebut ditulis oleh seorang dari mereka di bawah ini:

Tapi ada juga di antara mereka di atas yang menjadi ahli gerakan anti-Stratfordians yang menyangkal William Shakespeare sebagai penulis ungkapan tersebut; dan situasi ini telah menimbulkan kontroversi — yang kecil, tetapi menarik, sesuai untuk mengalih perhatian pada hujung minggu.

Semua teka teki ini menarik. Den tak tahu, tapi den nak habiskan membaca buku yang ditulis oleh seorang lagi Bill, yakni Bill Bryson, mengenai B(W)ill Shakespear(e).

Baca elok-elok khat ini. Ianya keratan dari Bible — Gospel of Matthew.

Inilah masalah yang ditimbulkan segelintir penganut ugama ini yang tidak henti-henti suka mensubversikan ugama Islam. Seni khat yang diketahui seluruh dunia dan berzaman-zaman sebagai seni Islam pun hendak diambilnya. Masalah ini perlu ditanganii.

Perkara sebeginilah yang menimbulkan keresahan di kalangan umat Islam di Malaysia apabila kalimah “Allah” dan perkara-perkara yang dikaitkan dengan ugama Islam “dipinjam” untuk menyebarkan ugama lain yang mungkin mahu meningkatkan kegiatannya di rantau ini memandangkan bilangan penganutnya semakin merosot di negara-negara tradisinya di benua Eropah.

Imej didapati dari laman SatD yang memberikan sedikit “write-up” mengenai metode mubaligh kristian.

Den tak syak lagi kemelut mengenai kalimah “Allah” akhir-akhir ini berkaitan dengan usaha “Contextualisation of the Gospel Among Muslims.” Ikut pautan ke laman SatD untuk mendapatkan penjelasan lanjut. Rakan aden apocryphalist pun ada menurunkan sebuah esei yang menarik di sana.

Dan oh ya, jangan lupa bawa kitab suci al-Quran sebagai rujukan apabila anda mahu membeli hasil penulisan khat terutama dari pasar malam atau pasar raya.

Selamat.

[Deklarasi lanun: Nasib baik aden ada masuk kelas dewasa bahasa Arab, jadi tahulah sikit-sikit selok belok bahasa tersebut]

Tomorrow is the start of the new school year and the whole blessed country will reverberate with an irruption of parental joy as the kids troop back into the classroom and out of their parents’ hair.

Malaysian parents will be off to kindergarten or primary school with their younger offspring to register them and cough up the requisite PTA fees. The roads will be choked with amber-coloured ‘people movers’ — for that is the term of the moment — to deliver the older kids to their respective destinations where they will report to the classroom, register themselves and hand over the PTA fees coughed up by their parents. The whole scene will be a riot of white, dark blue, dirty green and turquoise with a sprinkling of yellow and skyblue and a touch of purple. Malaysian parents will sigh a collective sigh of relief, confident in the knowledge that their kids will be in good hands, protected from harm in an environment conducive to learning and nurturing. The kids will break out their new textbook, sharpen their pencil, break the crease in their newly-pressed uniform and will receive a good education. Scribble, scribble, scribble. And hopefully they will grow into good adults.

Aah, lucky Malaysian kids.

This Palestinian kindergartener (pre-schooler in the parlance of me art) is not having any of that. No. She “is the vision of innocence, peering up into the dull eyes of a soldier towering over her. She can only be four or five years old. Black slacks with a green striped short skirt fanning out beneath her short black jacket indicate that she is a kindergarten student. She strains to hand the backpack, which is half her length, up to the soldier who orders her to stop. He systematically opens every zipper and plunges his hands into each pocket before handing the backpack back. It slumps to the ground.

The little girl carefully closes the zippers and with considerable effort slings the backpack onto her back; the young soldier, who has moved on to the next search, has already forgotten her. She stumbles as she hurries to catch up with her friends. This encounter is a significant part of her education under the Israeli occupying power, which seeks to clip her fragile wings.”

That vision of the barbaric treatment of a Palestinian pre-schooler — designed to break her spirit — along with a silent prayer, will be in me head when I send off me crew to school tomorrow.

More at Palestinian Think Tank

They stole my land,
Burnt my olive trees,
Destroyed my house,
Took my water,
Imprisoned my father,
Killed my mother,
Starved us all,
Humiliated us all.
But I am to blame:
I shot a rocket back.
So they stole more of my land,
Burnt my olive trees,
Destroyed my house,
Took my water,
Bombed my country…

[Kata-kata dari kad krismas elektronik di atas]

12 bulan yang lepas rejim haram zionis telah berperang dengan orang awam Falastin.

Apa pendapat Justice Richard Goldstone dan ahli misinya mengenai peperangan ini.

Seorang negarawan ulung pernah berkata orang mudah lupa, tapi bukan lanun ini. Viva Palestina

Well, we didn’t exactly sit down together to discuss politics over a cup of coffee but for about ninety minutes we did sit down together in a rather cavernous room to enjoy some excellent music.

The occasion was a performance, ‘Irama Warisan Kita,’ by the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra, the MPY(youth)O, Aishah and Lah Ahmad under the baton of Johari Salleh.

It was a treat for the crew for being able to survive the school holidays without our maid who has gone home to ‘seberang’ for a (well-deserved) holiday herself. It ain’t easy looking after a set of young and raucous pirates’ crew, you know. Unlike most ships the Fortune abides by the Geneva Conventions and flogging and cussing are banned: discipline-wise, the Admiral and me get by with just loud threats, dirty looks, the withdrawal of rations (meals served 30 minutes later and plainer than usual), suspension of privileges (no Internet, TV or shore runs on the liberty boat) and the very occasional merajuk and silent treatment. Very much like life aboard Admiral Nelson’s ship, the Victory, I suppose mateys, yarr yarr.

The close encounter with the great man and Tun Siti Hasmah, MPO’s Patron, almost didn’t take place though. You see, when the Admiral collected the tickets, she enquired about the dress code and the nice lady at the counter said the dress code for the concert was lounge suit. Now, this pirate has nothing against suits but the thought of putting on a suit on a Sunday afternoon in the tropics primarily for the benefit of the crew sounded like too much work. Thankfully closer scrutiny of the back of the ticket revealed that it was either lounge suit or long-sleeved batik. So out came the old batik out of me sea chest and off we went on a run to the DFP at the Twin Towers.

And what a treat it was. There’s nothing like listening to a full orchestra going full tilt in a world class concert hall. It wasn’t just the aural aspect of the performance but also the visual: the sight of the musicians expertly coaxing beautiful sounds from their instruments to render traditional/popular Malaysian musical pieces was mesmerising. Even the usually fidgety crew — one of me main preoccupations before the concert — remained perfectly still during the performances, absorbing the sound and the sight.

Johari Salleh’s composition, “Sabah Overture,” which opened the performance, was interesting. It was the first time that this pirate had heard it and of course me main worry was to be sure to applaud only at the end and not when there was a rest in the movement. A false clap there and the Admiral would have pretended not to know me until we were about 100 metres from the DFP. Thankfully everything went well right to the end of the whole performance.

Aishah told some jokes and gave a great performance as did Lah Ahmad and his back-up singers. Only snag was this pirate thinks that Lah needs to work on his mike control a bit more. At times he seemed to overwhelm the orchestra, his mike being too close to his vocal cords.

But at the end though the unthinkable happened: an appreciative Malaysian audience gave a standing ovation to the performers and asked for an encore. Times have changed. Used to be Malaysian audiences gave lacklustre applause and looked positively sulky at the end of concerts.

And of course before taking leave of the DFP this pirate looked up to the VIP Box to wave at Tun M and Tun Siti Hasmah and they….waved back. So on the whole it was a great Sunday afternoon shore run, long-sleeved batik or no.

The picture shows what they would have viewed of the orchestra from the VIP Box. This pirate is happy just not to have missed the performance albeit with a view from the stalls.

Bukan, bukan memandu di Plus Highway untuk pulang berhari raya di kampung, tetapi memandu kereta Formula Renault 3.5 di Nurburgring pada kelajuan melebihi 170 km/jam. Ya, aden bercakap mengenai about Fairuz Fauzy, pemandu bagi pasukan Mofaz Fortec Motorsport.

Secara kebetulan kawan-kawan anak-anak den datang berkunjung untuk meraikan Hari Raya petang kelmarin dan seperti biasa selepas polishing off the food, mereka berkumpul di depan TV untuk melepak. Nasib baik, kerana pada masa itulah Astro menyiarkan ulangtayang perlumbaan di Jerman yang diadakan pada 19/20 September lalu. Den masih teringat perasaan terharu den suatu malam beberapa bulan dahulu apabila ‘Negara Ku’ bekumandang dan Jalur Gemilang dikibarkan di Hungagoring Circuit di Hungary apabila Fairuz memenangi Race 1 [Renault World Series ada dua perlumbaan, Race 1 dan Race 2, masing-masing berlainan sedikit, pada setiap perjumpaan. Gambar menunjukkan Fairuz di atas podium di Hungary]

Beginilah perjalanan race di Nurburgring:

Race 1 (Timed race, lebih kurang 45 min, reverse grid)

Fairuz, kereta No 19, bermula pada tapak kelima (P5). Aksi perlumbaan mengasyikkan dengan satu perlanggaran yang melibatkan kereta Red Bull pada lap pertama. Fairuz tergelicik sedikit ke tempat ketujuh tetapi telah berjaya memperbaiki kedudukan dengan meraih kembali tempat kelima dalam masa beberapa lap. Di waktu inilah perlumbaan mula menjadi lebih mengasyikkan: Fairuz berentap dengan pemandu dari Britain, Oliver Turvey, wheel to wheel, sehinggalah Fairuz memotong Turvey dari luar dan menutup pintu bagi Turvey apabila track selekoh ke kiri. Bye bye Turvey.

Fairuz sekarang di tempat keempat dan serta merta mengejar Daniil Move yang berada di tempat ketiga. Race (dan championship) leader Bertrand Baguette sudah berada jauh di hadapan, lebih kurang empat ke lima saat terdahulu, dan tidak mungkin sesiapa dapat mengejar beliau. Justeru kamera menumpukan perhatian kepada pergelutan Fairuz dengan Move. Dan Fairuz tidak mengecewakan — beliau memberi tekanan kepada Move dan seterusnya memotong Move dengan satu overtaking ‘move’ yang klasik pada lap 17 kalau tak silap den dan terus berada di tempat ketiga sehinggalah penghabisan perlumbaan. Pemandu di provisonal second place, Lankaster, diberi penalti 10 saat kerana pemanduan berbahaya dan seterusnya Fairuz dinaikkan pangkat ke tempat kedua dengan Move ke tempat ketiga.

Memang hebat pemanduan Fairuz. Semasa perlumbaan, komentator-komentator Eurosports, seorang darinya Carlton Kirby — yang juga komentator Tour de France bagi Eurosport — banyak menumpukan komentari terhadap Fairuz dan mengatakan yang beliau menjangka Fairuz akan membuat sesuatu. Komentator juga memuji Fairuz dengan mengatakan yang Fairuz ini seorang ‘humble, down to earth’ dan ‘cool customer’. Pada akhir perlumbaan, komentator mengatakan yang Fairuz ‘drove supreme’ dan bagi beliau Fairuz merupakan ‘driver of the day’ — high praise indeed.

Terharu dan gembira rasa den dan anak-anak apabila melihat Jalur Gemilang dikibarkan semasa prize-giving di akhir Race 1 [melucukan juga gelagat Fairuz yang agak kekok dengan champagne celebrations di atas podium. Aden rasa orang lain faham dan tidak ‘merayakan’ Fairuz dengan semburan champagne]

Malangnya Race 2 disunting banyak oleh Eurosport dan aksi tidak banyak kelihatan: Fairuz bermula dari tapak keempat dan meraih tempat ketiga. Apapun, sempat juga melihat Fairuz di atas podium sekali lagi. Mungkin penganjur menjangkakan pencapaian lebih dari Fairuz — dan siapa boleh menyalahkan penganjur itu — kerana Jalur Gemilang dikibarkan di kanan (melambangkan tempat kedua) walaupun Fairuz meraih tempat ketiga. Malang sekali bagi Brendon Hartley, seorang New Zealander dan pemenang kedua, apabila bukan sahaja bendera beliau di tempat yang salah (di sebelah kiri), malah bendera Union Jack dikibarkan dan bukannya bendera New Zealand.

Begitulah kehebatan pemanduan anak watan di hari raya. I’ve never met him tetapi aden anak beranak tumpang berasa bangga di atas kerelaan Fairuz Fauzy untuk berada jauh dari kampung untuk beradu di gelanggang lumba kereta. Dan berjaya.

Fairuz Fauzy will never read this piece but it doesn’t matter. To him and people like him, yang berani merantau demi tugas atau urusan lain semasa orang sibuk nak balik kampung, I say Syabas dan Selamat Hari Raya.

Yarr! Yarr!

I don’t know what’s got into me but I was feeling a wee bit ornery when I woke up this mornin’. Must’ve been the overdose of lemang and rendang. Anyway, found me way to Sakmongkol’s and found his latest post regarding Shariah caning: which reminded me of some long conversations I had with Snake and some questions I wanted to ask of an ADUN.

So — as Grokker — I put in a comment to Sakmongkol:

“Selamat Hari Raya, Sakmongkol.

Interesting piece this.

Like you, I think that Kartika’s is a watershed case to test the Shariah system. And I too think the Shariah court’s sentence should be carried out and that Kartika ought to be caned.

For one thing, she has agreed to be caned and for another, the sentence is on the statute books and is therefore lawful. The Hakim Syarie certainly didn’t pluck it out of thin air, I don’t think.

Now the question arises: how did the sentence get on the law books? Was it framed by the syariah lawyers or was it enacted by the Pahang legislature? I believe it was the legislature that put the sentence in the statutes.

The wisdom of the Hakim Syarie in awarding the sentence is a different question. Some may question its wisdom but the best person to answer that question is the qadi himself. He may have good reason for doing so. He has not spoken so we don’t know.

Some of the sentences imposed by the Shariah courts may look bizarre to some but let’s not forget that the common law system also produces some seemingly bizarre sentences: long custodial sentences for stealing RM30 worth of powdered milk to feed a starving baby and a slap on the wrist for swindling people of millions of ringgit.

I’m with you that the SIS and Madame Sharizat have no place in this matter. Both are in the business of looking after women’s interest — and I’ve no problem with that — but the SIS in particular have been fighting for ‘equality’ for women in matters of religion. It cannot be that caning offends their delicate sensibilities because another person, a male Indon PR, has also been sentenced by caning for drinking in public during Ramadhan by the same court; and not a squeak from SIS. Now that Kartika has been treated equally before the law, why are they keen on a revision? Do they, these amazon warriors for equality, now want Kartika to be treated unequally?

Being a former member of the state legislature perhaps you can enlighten us on how Shariah laws were enacted, Sakmongkol — why were they not made uniform by the enacting legislatures and why were seemingly ‘barbarous’ and ‘archaic’ laws put on the statutes? Why were the enforcement mechanisms, so woefully deficient, not thought through before the enactments were passed? And why don’t some politicians feel a sense of shame in their colleagues’ role in bringing odium to Islam through lousy legislation, and continue to pontificate on the matter.”

[Paras are slightly different because of some last minute edits on-site.
I’m putting this in as a matter of record — some of his earliest followers may agree that Sak’s changed a bit since he first started blogging; not sure if he’ll post this.
He hasn’t as at presstime. OK, now to carry on with the holidays]