Struggling with my emotions

Posted in Uncategorized by

I’ve had this friend Jimmy for 20years now. When we met something drew me to him. For years we were simply friends I had a boyfriend he got married we both had kids. We lost touch ran into each other now and then. Then one day we were both struggling in our relationship and friends became something more during this time I feel head over heels in love with him. But we parted ways he back to his wife me to my boyfriend. Again a few years later we got together again and again we parted ways after that we would often send each other messages and now just recently we decided to try a friends with benefits approach to our relationship. I knew going in to it that if he met someone we would be back to simply friends. Even though I knew upfront what I was getting into it still hurts to yet again lose the man I love to yet another. I’m trying very hard to leave him alone not to message him to let him have a chance at happiness to wait for him to text me but letting go of something you love is never easy

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i

Dear Jimmy

Posted in Uncategorized by

Dear Jimmy I want to text you but I know you won’t answer I want to hear your voice but I know you won’t talk to me I miss you so much I don’t understand why when you are seeing someone that I don’t exist to you even though we have known each other 20 years

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i

Confused

Posted in depression, diary, drama, family, sex by

Tonight I am confused about my friend Jimmy. Last night he sent me some sexually explicit messages and then we hung out although nothing happened not because we didn’t want to but because we both had a house full. So tonight I text him and he doesn’t respond. First he’s hot now he’s cold. And men complain women are teases. Well now I know why he was ignoring me he failed to mention that he might be dating someone men are such asses.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i

Sick of you

Posted in Uncategorized by

So mark in so sick of your shit all you care about is you weather you have beer and cigarettes and oh wait your crack dealer in to the point where you are going to make a choice me or your shit because I can’t take it anymore I work for my money

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i

Confused

Posted in depression, diary, drama by

So I’ve been thinking is it possible to have more than one romantic interest at the same time to fill different needs. What I mean is take me I’ve been with the same man for 18 years he fills the need of stability. He keeps the house clean does laundry and helps with the bills but there is no passion we rarely talk to each other or even have sex. When we do have sex its hop on hop off.
Then there is this other guy and while we haven’t spent any time together in years he fills the need of passion and conversation. He listens to what I have to say and if he spends the night we chat for hours till someone falls asleep. When we used to have sex there was passion not just get it over with.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i

excited

Posted in diary, family by

i recently recieved an email from a long distance cousin of my mothers. i had gotten into the geneology of my family. this cousin sent photos of some family members i was unaware of and even some of my grandmother i never met. i posted a post to my other blog about the ancestors including images. here is the link if anyone is interested. https://simlady36.wordpress.com/2015/09/05/ancestors/. feel free to floow that blog as well althought it is mostly my sims 4 stories. playing sims is something i do to releive the everyday stresses of life.

Frustrated

Posted in Uncategorized by

Every day it’s something new with my family last week I moved dad to his own place. He likes it and I’m happy for him. My sister Sandra is pissed at me because I won’t let her and her boyfriend stay with me. I just don’t like him. Now my sister Jessica wants to stay here. I told her no and that made my step mom angry. She probably won’t call me again for a while unless she needs something. Seems to be the only reason I hear from her anyway. And for the last several days my boyfriend is been a ass. He refuses to spend any time with me. Don’t he realize that I am important to. Sometimes I think maybe I should just find someone else.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i

A wonderful weekend

Posted in depression, diary, drama, family by

Well after having to work Saturday the weekend turned out great. My boyfriends sister planned a cook out on Sunday. We went over to her house and swam the whole day. Then today I took off work to hang out with my son. We went to video store and he got to play a game then we went to WalMart. When we got home I cooked dinner 😋.
Usually I’m at work so my boyfriend Mark cooks.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i

Babies

Posted in depression, diary, drama by

So my youngest sister Jessica got married at 17. She is 21 now and has three girls. Florence is 3, Lilly is 2, and Emma is 1. Well she was cheating on her husband and now thinks she is pregnant again. Recently social services was called to her home because it was filthy. They told her to clean up and that they would be back. So she left her husband and kids. Now she is staying with her mom and has the kids with her. She says she wants a divorce. Her husband was left to deal with the mess. I am proud to say that he has gotten it cleaned up. I hope that he gets custody of the kids if there is a divorce as Jessica can’t seem to take care of them.
My brother Charles has a mentally unstable girlfriend. She claims to have had 2children both taken away from her. I’m not sure how true this is or if she is trying to get attention. My brother on the other hand is 23 and has trouble maintain a job. Well today I read on facebook that his girlfriend is pregnant.
I am not excited about either of these new babies. I think if the parents can’t take care of themselves then they don’t need a child. Maybe I am wrong and should be excited.
Well it turns out that Jessica is not pregnant which is the good thing.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phonei. i ii. i ii i. i i