Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

This is my season of discontent. So, this is my second day back to work and I am so unhappy. There are others also unhappy which means the overall energy is low. I hope I am so ready to move on. I hope things either get better, I learn to cope, or an opportunity presents itself that will give me an out.

I am loving the quiet lull of the city that is partially shut down due to Hurricane Tropical Storm Irene. No buses or subways running. No sirens, minimal traffic. I could get used to this!

Man, listen! I ain't playing with this storm. I know it will be little of nothing by the time it finally makes its way up here, but I'm not letting her play me. Everything they said to do, I did! I have fresh batteries for my flashlight, everything charging, windows closed, tub filled, and fridge turned up. I have a bottle of water in my fridge and another in the back of the car. I even parked on a hill! I have a full tank of gas and a go bag packed.  I have a few candles, although I didn't go buy a 7 day candle. I ain't playing witchu, Irene! Not today! Crazy thing is that my cell phone - my new cell phone - decided to stop working yesterday. The company I have been with for so many years because they have always provided such great service is about to make me regret my decision to sign another contract with them. I'm tired of these trashy phones they keep selling me. All of the services they used to provide - in store tech support, replacement models in stock - ar...

So I am having a hard time getting in motion. This is the last of vacation and we have a huge storm on the way. I have things to do!  This will probably be my last morning blog post until the holiday. I will definitely miss my leisurely days to doing what I want when I want. Back to the rat race. So that extension cord is still running from the hall into the apartment next door. I haven't ratted them out ... yet.  

The weather today was pretty dreary. Lots of tropical rain showers and humidity. I met my new assistant for coffee and she is really nice, but I still have concerns about her commitment. I get the feeling that she isn't 100% committed to returning to the work force after having her baby. I'm really hoping she can be a dependable support person. I  was able to do about two errands before heading home. I returned the panel that was too short and got another one along with a curtain rod and few additional items. While I making the return, the strangest interaction happened between the two women working the customer service counter. One of the girls kept making mistakes and the other had to go to her register to override the mistakes. So on the second mistake that I witnessed, girlfriend says she gave the customer too much money and needed to cancel the transaction. While the other woman (who mind you stopped her transaction with a customer to come over to help) was keying inform...

We are under a state of emergency. This storm is supposed to be the real deal! I am really hoping we keep our power, but in case we lose it I have batteries and supplies on hand. I will also go pick up a 7 day candle to burn. What a way to end the summer!

We are bracing for another natural disaster. Hurricane Irene is supposedly barreling toward us. Earthquakes and hurricanes...end of time or simply a change of seasons. You decide. I am up and getting ready to meet my new assistant for coffee at a cafe that I purposely chose near where she lives. I received a call a few minutes ago from her asking if we were still meeting at our designated time and if I still wanted to meet then or if I wanted to meet later. Hmm, 11:00 A.M. is kind of late and I chose that time to make sure that people like me (later risers) could still be able to make it on time. She is making me nervous. She sounded like she had just woken up. After having someone like my last assistant I am really hoping that the new one doesn't have some of my same bad characteristics. I already know that will be a disaster in the making. I need someone who is going to balance me out. I am just going to stress how important it is that she be on top of things at all times. Rece...

Mister Sandman is just beating on my eyelids right now. Crazy thing is I just woke up a bit over an hour ago. I am about to go back to sleep soon as I finish this post. I fixed a simple dinner of clam chowder with corn. Not as good as the crab soup I had in Maryland, but it left me feeling very satiated. I have no patience for foolishness, so I have an Alfred Hitchcock movie playing. It was another unproductive day. I went online to research mattresses before I went bed shopping and got frustrated. Went through some papers, sent some follow up emails, washed the breakfast dishes then went to take a nap. Woke up groggy, but feeling better. Looked at my to do and was able to cross off one item. Tomorrow and Friday have to be more productive, by any means necessary. Sadly, we are expecting a hurricane to hit so hopefully that doesn't prevent me from doing what needs to be done. I am hoping I can get things situated at work Monday and Tuesday (no later than Wednesday) so I can have ...

When I first heard Jill Scott sing "Hear My Call" I was driving and tears started to stream down my face. I thought, how brave to expose herself this way in a song. To expose her vulnerabilities and open herself up for the world. Well, Ms. Jill has gone one step further and has made a video for the song. Here she is: beautiful, pure, open.

Wondering what happened to my peace of mind (or a piece of my mind!) Woke up still a bit irritable so I went back to sleep and slept in. Got up, made coffee, put on some jazz (I also need a new CD player or I need to render all of my CDs onto a digital library. Problem is that I have music stored on 2 different computers - both obsolete and in desperate need of an upgrade.) I am going to go bed shopping this afternoon and resist the urge to also get a furniture set because I don't want to have to pay to move furniture when I bust out of here next year. I will also try to knock the remaining tasks off my to do list that were left undone Monday and Tuesday. The TV will not be on and the computer will be limited to completing the tasks at hand. Here's to a productive day!

Wrapping up this very strange day with a hot bath, Kem , and a cup of tea . Remembering how to honor myself and treat myself well. I need to make this my daily nighttime ritual like in the Brooklyn days.I was so balanced back then.

I was just saying the other day that New York is overdue for an earthquake and if it happens New York wouldn't be prepared because the buildings and gas lines are so old and many are not retrofitted. Well, we got hit with an earthquake today. The Super and Con Ed had just left my apartment after finally giving me my gas back. I woke up irritated today for some reason and the Super pissed me off more when he yelled at me, "why didn't contact the management about your gas." I don't like being spoken to that way. No hello, no good morning...just yelling at me. I had been so patient waiting for someone to come turn my gas back on and I get screamed on? Besides, it wasn't a building issue it was a Con Ed issue as far as I knew. Why didn't he come to check to make sure everyone had working gas? He is such an ass! So, they left and I started putting things back in the kitchen. I had just sat down at the computer to start this blog post and it sounded like some...

Seriously, something about Mondays prevent you from being productive whether you are working or not. Today was completely unproductive. I had a long to do list and the most I completed was sending out emails. I waited all day for Con Ed to come turn the gas on. They never came! I walked to the shopping center across the bridge from me and as I expected it was a complete waste of time. I quickly remembered why I don't like going to the Target over there. I started to stress out and wound up walking out empty handed. I found one thing that was on my list. One! I left it there because I didn't want to be bother with the line for one item. I went over to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and walked out of there with one thing - that wasn't on my list. I realized though that I need to go to BBB more often. Just not that one. It was so cluttered and unkempt on a Monday afternoon. Sad. This is why I shop in the suburbs. I also realized that the sales tax across the bridge is 5% less than...

I am watching this episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition about a blind couple in Ohio. In addition to both of them being visually impaired, they also have a hearing impaired son. Their spirit is so infectious! The wife actually reminds me of a woman I used to work with when I lived in D.C. There were so many people with that uplifting spirit and easy smiles who I used to come into contact with. I need to rediscover what it feels like to live a relaxed life. This couple definitely deserves all of the blessings that have rained down on them. They run a disability awareness center with little to no support. Goes to show that if you just keep focused on the task ahead with expectation of grandeur at the end of the road that you will live a blessed life. As for me, I wound up inside today...the weather is just really nasty today. I am trying to tie up all of my loose ends before I go back to work. The more I clean up, the more I discover places that need to be cleaned. Like the lig...

Didn't fall asleep until late last night/early this morning. Woke up late and went back to sleep. Woke to hear a storm outside. It's muggy which means I have no desire to head out today. I finally started moving around 1-ish and I am still contemplating going back to bed as I'm not feeling 100%. I probably need to go out and score a shot of wheat grass juice to stabilize my system. My neighbor across the hall has gas. She has just been cooking away. I don't know how I missed getting my gas reconnected. I need to call Con Ed and see if they can turn it on tomorrow. Interestingly enough I hadn't been cooking on the stove much. I usually don't in the summer because it's just too hot. Coincidentally, just as this water main situation happened I was going to start cooking again. One good thing about this situation is that I was able to clean under my stove since the Con Ed guy pulled it out to do something. I thought it might as simple as turning the red knob b...

So I left too late to get anything good from the farmer's market. Not sure if they came with crappy produce or if they sold out of all the good stuff by the time I got there. Bought some jalapeno pickles. Yummy! Also bought some coffee, although they didn't have the Mexican variety. I am going to try some from Papua, New Guinea. Also got some apple cider. Still not as fresh as the batch we got when we went apple picking. I will just have to wait until fall when we go apple picking again. I actually went to two farmer's markets. By the time I got to the second one the last vendor was packing up for the day. That was at 4 p.m. I thought they closed at 5 p.m.  Walked around the corner to a produce market and picked up some cantaloupe and blueberries. Decided to go across the bridge to return something and wound up spending twice as much on more stuff. I spent all that time cleaning out my apt. just to buy more stuff! If I don't have hoarder tendencies! Been doing a lot o...

Making Jill Scott's " The Way " my theme song of the day. Woke up this morning with a smile on my face. Doing a little cleaning up before I head out to the Farmer's Market. I need to find some sweet, juicy fruit. I am so disappointed with the fruit they sell in the supermarkets. The only fruits that I can count on being decent from a supermarket are apples. I also want to buy some shrimp and salmon. I feel like Saturday might not be the best day to buy fresh seafood. I wonder what day is the best day. Hold up, about to google it. Okay, back. So google says Tuesday. I thought I remembered hearing that before. I hate to have to wait until Tuesday to buy fish though. Makes no never mind since we still have no gas to cook it with! So, last night I looked at AU's graduate certificate program that I have been researching. They have exactly what I need! To add icing to the cake they also prepare students for the National Board Certification. Sounds like a winner to me!...

Well, I'm back from my whirlwind trip to D.C.  The consensus is that I still love D.C. It was so much calmer and clean than New York.  I stayed with my friend who just bought a condo near American University in Tenleytown . I tend to forget how long it has been since I lived in the tri-state area and how much it has changed since I lived there. I didn't recognize anything. It felt like I had never been there before. Everything I once knew was changed. My friend offered me a train ticket, but because of the parking situation around here I declined and drove down. The drive down wasn't too bad, but I think next time I will take public transportation. So, I had an alright time. He didn't have his furniture yet so it wasn't really comfortable to hang out at his place. Plus, his place was much smaller than what he has bought in the past. I guess you sacrifice space for the convenience of living in the city. I loved his 2 bedroom townhouse in Falls Churc...

Sometimes I wonder if church is really the right place to get your spirituality in order. I've witnessed some ugly interactions at the hands of the saved and sanctified, but nothing like this! Pastor Tased, Woman Stabbed after Church Service

I started cleaning up tonight. Like a thorough cleaning where I'm pulling stuff out, dusting, throwing things away, and uncovering things I had lost or forgotten. Then I started feeling some kinda way. Now I am sad. I thought cleaning was supposed to make you feel better. Lately I have been so clear about what I want. Perhaps this is the last leg of the journey towards removing the blocks that have been in my way. A year of self-discovery. A year of improving my health - both physical and mental. I just want to be free. Free from fear and bad memories. I want to be to be unconditionally happy. I want to be free to love without restraint. I want to be able to commit to a clean life.

I am a real special individual. REAL special. I bought a new blender, but hadn't opened it yet. I bought all new kitchen appliances in black so I decided I would take the new blender back to exchange it for a black one. Something made me check the cabinet where old appliances go to die in dignity and there I found two other blenders! There was already one on the counter. And I just bought a single serve blender to take to work for on the spot smoothies. What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I keep buying new blenders? It's not that forgot I had a blender, but every time I see a new blender I want it. So now I have five blenders! That is excessive. I'm the same way about printers and alarm clocks. I am now up to 3 printers. Once it starts to act up and I see another one of sale I buy it. I think it is because I won't just go ahead and spend the money for what I really want. The first step is admitting that you have a problem. I have a problem. From here on out I am goin...

I read somewhere that the rich and well-to-do actually shoplift more than the poor. If this is the true is it due to a lack of morals, a sense of privilege, or just one of the ways they are able to maintain their lifestyle? I could see how this incident could have been an honest mistake, but I could also see it being intentional. Something to chew on. Mother Gets Lifetime Ban From Fairway Supermarket For Shoplifting

Fun video! Cee-lo is growing on me.

It's Sunday afternoon. I went out last night and woke up around noon-ish. Now I am trying to figure out what I can get into for the rest of the day. I know I want to get out of the house and I'm not feeling like being indoors at all so that eliminates shopping and the movies. I also don't feel like dragging myself downtown on the subway. Maybe I will just pack a picnic and go sit out under a shady tree in the park with a book or pen and paper and write. I dragged myself out last night when an acquaintance (I still don't feel she is a friend yet and I will explain why)  mentioned she wanted to go out to a new place that opened in the neighborhood. This was maybe 10-ish at night. It was raining off and on all night, but I said what the hey and headed out once the rain had dissipated. I caught the bus because I didn't want to deal with parking. I had a feeling I might wind up cabbing it on the way back so I stopped at the bank to get cash since it was on the way. Eve...

I keep hearing people talk about classy and when I see what they are referring to it turns out to be something that is really trashy. I really believe that the 30 and under generation (for the most part) have no idea what constitutes classy. Case in point, the video featured below. Apparently Tyrese received criticism for not featuring more black women in this video and not having any dark women in the video (as is rapped about by guest Tyga.) I'm personally not surprised. I ran into Tyrese once when I did a one day assignment at MTV. Instead of him being polite and friendly he screwed his face up and turned to some other girls who look like the girls in the video and started talking to them. Real blatant. Since then I have not had any respect for him. This video is one of the most ignorant things I've seen in a while. Sick of the sexism, the colorism, and the casual use of words like N*gg*. Bringing classy back? You be the judge. I think Tyrese needs to take his own advice: ...

This is a post I saw on a school site on Facebook: Anyone remember Mrs. XYZ? She was my 1st grade teacher. She taught me how to count, read, and wright. Apparently she didn't teach her how to spell! LOL!

I am looking over the health insurance changes my job just sent. I am very, very sad. I know some people don't have health insurance (I didn't for years) and others pay a lot into their policies each month, but goodness these changes make the little 3-5% raise we got look like chicken feed. I just going to keep on praying and taking my vitamins and eating healthy and being careful. Jesus be a fence. Seriously!

When I was kid I had all kinds of scraps and bumps. I played and I played hard! The higher something was to climb the more I had to do it. Just fearless! When I look at playground equipment today it bores me. The article below explains why. Can a playground be too safe?

How ugly is this website? As for the apartments, location is everything. Not impressed with the location of the units. I've also seen this property sit unfinished for months and I question the structural soundness of it. Many of these types of buildings wind up having all kinds of issues after the first year or two after buyers have moved in. As a homeowner I would have to pay into it through my fees. I'll pass. 2130ACP

Another blogger had a post about using natural deodorant. Not sure if I posted it here, but I recently had to give up antiperspirant because it was causing skin irritation and lumps under my arms. Dr. Oz said that it is natural to perspire so I gave up the aluminum. I haven't found anything yet that works as well as antiperspirant but I am still looking. The article makes some suggestions. I would rather have my health even it it means inconveniencing myself. I also want to try those perfumes they recommended at the bottom. They sound like they smell wonderful! How To Fight Underarm Funk

This article makes sense. I am now shopping for new dishes. I've had the same dishes for as long as I've lived in New York. Many of the original set have been broken over the years. It is hard to find dishes that are the right size, shape, etc. Definitely want a set with 8-10 inch plates. Trying to lose weight? Your environment could be making you fat

Feeling amazing with my dietary changes. Today I headed to my job to exchange my charger then went to Wild Olive to pick up some fresh produce. As much as people complain about not having fresh food in Harlem (therefore we have to eat fried food and garbage instead) there was not enough business to sustain the fresh produce that they used to offer when they first opened. It is sad! I grabbed some cherries and went down the block to get a fresh juice from Uptown Juice Bar. I nearly choked when they told me how much it was. They didn't have any prices posted so I thought it might be a couple of bucks. I ordered a small. It was $5.00! That is ridiculous! I then went to Island Salad and got a Jerk Salmon salad. An $8 salad. I will in the future remember to tell them to put my dressing on the side. The girl who made my salad was very heavy handed. I am becoming conscious of portions now that I am not eating myself silly. Found out today that our chef on the job quit. It's not a su...