Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

This article is something I wish I'd read at 11. I agree with everything. I have discovered that over the years I have become social awkward. Not that I have ever been outgoing, but my social skills suck! It is a combination of being innately shy, the time I spent alone, and technology. Hiding behind a smart phone or a lap top can kill your social skills. While I still don't like meeting people I will try to implement some of the suggestions. http://business.time.com/2012/07/13/10-habits-of-remarkably-charismatic-people

I am in a good place. A stable place. I am working. I am planning. I am growing. Yesterday I spent the day resting. I wanted to get out, but I was exhausted after a week of hard work. I did some work-related reading though I would have preferred to do some personal reading. Today my body still feels a bit tired, but I am rested. I have been sleeping a good 9 or 10 hours each night and have entered a dream state. Huge improvement over the 5 and 6 hours I had been getting. Plans for today: laundry (if I can get in the laundry room) grocery shopping (need to stock up on my juices) going to a festival around the corner from my apartment On Monday I have to attend a funeral and another full week ensues. I need October 8th to get here soon. Where I am financially: I have paid off the car. I need to pay my registration. I just paid my 1/2 year of insurance.   I am in the process of consolidating my student loans (again). I need to cancel my phone account since I am not...

Finally, I have time to sit down with you and reflect on this week. It seems on my job and in my world that I presently live in nothing is mundane. It was this constant excitement that drove me to this city and it is the same thing that is driving me out. It is overwhelming to day after day be bombarded with random acts of violence and states of emergency. I am working towards being more organized so when unexpected occurrences happen they aren't as jarring. Yet, I miss the gentle lull of my home city. Where events out of the ordinary were truly extraordinary. Here, nothing surprises you anymore. After a week of running like a chicken with my head cut off, I want peaceful Saturdays indoors. However, Saturdays tend to be busy since often businesses are closed on Sunday. Today is the first day of autumn, so, I am here now deciding if I am going to relax a while longer this morning before tackling my list to to dos - laundry, errands, events, etc. Fortunately I was able to get out o...

I went out get my nails done this afternoon because the nail salon is closed on Monday and I have to work late on Tuesday. I figured that since I was already out (which I hadn't planned on) I would head downtown to get a massage and pick up a bottle or two of wine. As I was about to refill my metrocard a man approached me. I was guarded since my wallet was out. He extended a metrocard and I told him that I needed to get another card anyway. He continued to offer his card to me and I asked if he was selling swipes. He handed the card to me and told me that it was good for the rest of the night. I thanked him and felt bad that I had been so short with him. I used the card to get to and from my destination then paid it forward to someone else who was waiting for the bus. Blessings come when least expected. My boss fired her assistant. Her assistant was efficient and professional. She was also the only member of her family bringing in an income. Her husband had been unemployed fo...

Ever forget the value of something until someone else comes along and reminds you?  That's how it has been with me for the past few years. I forgot that I was valuable. And there was no one around to remind me of my worth. I slowly began to emerge from the foggy haze I was in for so many years and as everything became clearer I began to see me. The me that who had been hidden away for so many years. Put down, abused, neglected, but still there. She just needed to be cleaned up, polished, and pampered a bit. My summer of rejuvenation probably saved my life. I would have continued down the path of settling. Of living "just enough for the city." This summer my eyes have been opened to the possibility of more. I want to travel. I want to explore. I want to see beautiful and breathtaking things. I want my senses shocked with amazing sights, sounds, tastes, and smells.  I want color in my life. This beautiful skirt represents the color I crave. Bold, vibrant, dynamic...

I am a writer. I am a photographer. I am a traveler. I am adventurous. I am ambitious. I am a daughter, sister, cousin, niece, and grandchild. I am a friend. I am a lover. I am spiritual. I am free to choose the path of my life. I am living in victory. I am healthy. I am powerful. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am living my dreams out loud. I am flexible. I am independent. I am strong. I am sensitive. I am caring. I am cold. I am complicated. I am me...plain and simple. I am able to live my life freely.

Once again I ran out of my apartment to simply grab a bite to eat on a quiet Sunday afternoon and the angry black women had to make an appearance. Black woman in this neighborhood always have a chip on their shoulder. The world is not against us. Yes, we sometimes have to stand our ground and fight, but for Christ sake please pick your battles. We are all in this together.

Beautiful song...beautiful name. Peace. One

I am so tired of city living. I just want to rest today. To not have to smell anyone else's food cooking or hear anyone else's music blaring. To simply have time to regroup. To still my mind, body, and spirit after a week of running and tending to the needs of others. Of making sure others are fed while I go hungry. On Friday I found myself taking a moment to catch my breath before I came home. Perhaps a couple of times a week I can do something for myself that doesn't become a chore. One night a mani/pedi. Another night a massage. A third a nice early dinner or happy hour special. And I still need to squeeze the gym into the my schedule. I don't want to come home and collapse this year. I want to feel like there is still life in me at the end of the work day. I want to have one day of total relaxation or at lease a few hours of brunch. Remembering that I am a real person and not a robot or a servant or a lost soul living in a heartless place where it seems all of the...

I am guided from within.   Whether I face major or minor decisions, the guidance I need is readily available. I may read what experts advise, listen to the opinions of friends and family, or gather data to inform my choices. But most important, I turn within for prayer. I go apart for a time in the Silence, mindfully releasing any tension in my body and bringing spaciousness to any worrisome thoughts. I surrender the situation at hand, and with gratitude, I invite divine guidance to be revealed. I listen to the whisper of my heart, which is always life-affirming, loving and good. As I turn within to the source of divine guidance, my way becomes clear. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me with honor.—Psalm 73:24   Source: Today's Daily Word

So finally realizing that sometimes you have to be a bitch in order for things to get done. People will drag their feet and procrastinate until the cows come home unless a fire is lit up under their ass. I know because I am one of those people. I am getting better, but I still have it in me. Well, I accept the fact that I will be a bitch to some people because otherwise they will expect me to lay down and be their welcome mat so they can walk all over me. Every man and woman for his or her self! My assistant is learning a hard lesson this year. She has been forced to step up her game. (A) because I'm tired of carrying her and (B) because we have some fresh blood on our job that has something to prove. One little go-getter has already "stolen" one of her ideas according to her. Again, playing the victim role. It's her lack of follow through that gets her. Time to grow up! Mom, dad, and grandma can't save you at this stage of the game. You've got to do it fo...

It is unofficially the end of the summer here in New York. Even the weather seems to agree since it has been overcast and dreary (though still warm and humid) since Labor Day Weekend. Already looking at airline specials, travel packages, and resorts to find my next escape. Will it be Columbus Day weekend or will I have to wait until Thanksgiving? 

Despite getting not one, but two massages last week I am in need of another. My assistant sent me an email last night that had my blood boiling. It was in response to my proposing that we meet to discuss our roles at work. The email was a full on attack on me accusing me of making her feel bad about herself and other self-victimization nonsense. I decided to not even acknowledge her email and proceed with the meeting as I had planned. We had a 2 and a half hour conversation about what was working and not working in our working relationship. I admit that I get short with her, but it is only after I have tried to explain something to her several times and she still doesn't understand. I just made everything very clearly outlined about what is expected from her. I told her that I really need her to work more independently. The tension is all in my shoulders. All of the aches and physical problems that disappeared while I was on vacation are back. Already. This is not good. What real...

I looked in the mirror today and my eyes were clearer than they have been in a long time. Usually there are red veins coursing through the (off) whites of my eye. Not today. Very little red and the whites of my eyes were actually white! I know it isn't diet because I haven't been eating well. I have been releasing toxins more freely however and I did recently have that massage that might have released more toxins from my liver. I wish I knew what I was doing right. I haven't been spending hours starting into a computer screen and I think that has taken a lot of strain off of my eyes. I basically just check my email and facebook, type whatever I need to in Word, and whatever other business I need to take care of online and that's it. I have been doing actual reading - like books - and I think that has made a huge difference. I have to research it, but perhaps we use our eyes differently when we read on a computer compared to when we read a book. I also have spent the l...