Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

I just saw a video of me that someone took last Friday and I was mortified. I have gained so much weight! I look like a freaking line backer. You know this means war. I am about to HAM on this fat. I have already started to make some changes, but I see I am going to have amp up the exercise and the discipline. No more emotional eating, treating myself, or any of the other excuses that have gotten me to this size. I need to lose weight and lose it now.  I'm not going set myself up for failure by trying to lose it all at once, but I do need to lose quite a bit so I am not so huge. I don't know how much that should be since I can't weigh myself. There might be a scale down in the gym that I can weigh myself on. I need to be in that gym at least 4 times a weeks doing cardio like a mad woman. I can do this. I will not lose momentum. Mentally I am ready and physically my body can not and will not continue to grow any larger. I can and I will do this!  How do I plan to do it? C...

So I realized that it's now time that I start living like a "grown up." I also realized that in order to live the lifestyle I want to live I can't do it alone. Not with these student loans on my back. So the next plan of action is to find a husband with a decent salary and good credit. This seems to be the only feasible way I will be able live the way I want to live. In order to make that happen I have to step up my game. Operation find a husband is in full effect for the remainder of 2011. Making sure hair, nails, brows are always tight. Getting the body right and tight. Getting and staying focused on the bigger picture. Changing my priorities. A woman's got to do what a woman's got to do!