In which I use too many (parenthese) and ponder Winter and get to go see Vixen *squeeee

So last week on Thursday I was finding this to be quite true.  I took a day off from subbing (which is what I ended up doing now since all my other prospects failed). I went to the gym (something I am becoming addicted to) and then hung out with friends, had lunch in town and taking a much needed nap (still not used to getting my butt in bed for an all day work day ) but it is Winter.....

Where I live Winter is hard 

and 

cold

and 

dark

and 

long

and depressing

So today I am tired and feeling much more like this after work

Some days I see the beauty of the tree (like Wednesday) someday I can only see the barbed wire.

I do have some good news though. 

In less than two weeks I get to go on a plane and see my girl. 

Yep- Vixen and I together again for a long weekend  

*happy sigh*

Why do I rely on others?

Why do I rely on others for my own self esteem?  Why must someone tell me something nice for me to feel good about myself?  There are moments when I look in the mirror and think- Well alright, we look good, let's do this! Or I complete a task and have a moment where I know I did good, real good.  It is not unheard of for me to be bopping down the road to a tune and life seems good.  But the fastest way for me to feel good, very good about myself is for someone to compliment me or point out something about me (that is positive)

I bring this up because I needed two letters of recommendation for my meeting today.  Two people I have worked in conjunction with in the past agreed to email me letters (even with the last minute notice I/we had) and when they arrived-one, then the next- I cried.  I did!  I opened them, read them and teared up before I got to the Sincerely line.  Here are snippets from the real letters.

To Whom It May Concern: 
I have known ____________ in a variety of capacities for a number of years.  We were colleagues in the health insurance industry several years ago.  In addition, I have had the pleasure of purchasing several products from her small business, ____________
.   
________ has always been organized and efficient and detail oriented as one might expect from a small business owner.  However, there are two other attributes that stand out to me most.  First is her ability to be positive in any situation.  She has handled adverse situations with the utmost of grace and style and allows everyone to walk away feeling better.  Second, her ability to be creative and professional in both written and verbal communication is excellent. 
In summary, I would highly recommend __________ for any position she is pursuing.  She will be a tremendous asset to any organization. 

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at _________________.   
Sincerely,
_________________




To whom it may concern, 


This is being written as a letter of reference for _____________. Over the past year I have had the pleasure to work with _________ and gotten to know her well. 


___________ is personable, easy-going, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Her passion and ability to connect with people have made her a great partner. If given the chance I would have no hesitations working with her in the future. Her enthusiasm and passion make her a perfect candidate to work in the education industry.  


I recommend _________ without reservation. Her character, personality, and contagious positive attitude will make her an outstanding employee for your organization. 


Sincerely, 

People should hear this kind of stuff about THEMSELVES before they die.  Truly.  Eulogies are best given when the person is alive- then they could enjoy them!  Let someone know how great they are for no reason.  Tell your office workers, your janitors, tell your coffee lady, tell your spouse!

I miss everyone

I know I left, I understand that I can't come back to a party after leaving and assume it is going to be just as fun as when I left but I sooo miss everyone here at my blog.  Oh well, so it goes

Help! I want to un-follow someone

Ok, I don't really want to unfollow someone for real- rather blogs that are no longer active.

In Blogger, on my Dashboard how do I now unfollow blogs? 
Plus if I don't get "The people of Walmart" off my dashboard I'm going to scream!!!

Thanks

Haters

I am so sick of haters. Seriously haters are really going to hate now aren't they?  A  person can fall into a habit in both thought and actions. A person gets into the habit of thinking and speaking negatively and it just spreads like black mold on a wet cement basement wall.

Much like my love of mold, I so love haters. NOT.

How about you? You been hated on lately? You being a hater??

hold on for one more day

" I love you < 3 "

That's what her text said
That was enough

I can hold on for one more day

Emotionless

I am far more emotional than I have been for a very long time.  I truly thought I was all cried out.  I feel far more needy lately as well too.  I want to be taken care of, I have always been the one to take care of others.  I want to feel protected. I want to feel loved. I want to feel wanted.

I have to tell you I am not at all fond of this.  I do not like crying over things.  I don't like pondering what others are thinking of me or if they are at all.  I am better being emotion-less. numb.  It's easier

I just get awesome

OK, seriously, this is funny shit!

I had a great time out with my friends last night. 
We were all on the same page it seems (have as much fun in as short of time as possible)
At one point my friend K said "why the F isn't the DJ playing yet?"
in which I replied, "Because it is only 8:24"
The whole table suddenly went silent.....
I said, "What? It is?"
and then suddenly hysterics broke out, laughter mixed with disbelief

Why?  

Because we were so messed up at that point it was hard to believe we hit it that hard that fast .... yikes.  Apparently they put Awesome Juice in our drinks!
(beats ruffies any day!)

Suddenly the table filled up with waters and sodas.......

Stripping

I took pics today for OHNT. I laid on the icy lake in my bikini (the bikini that has never left my back deck , and is only intended for suntanning purposes). I laid on the ice in the snow and smiled, and then I stripped (my bottoms) and ...... well you'll see soon.

Trust your gut. I'm positive I was drugged even though the results say not

Guess what? The 1/2 life of rohypnol is only 12-24 hrs depending on how strong the dose and how fast your body metabolizes things.  Now, when you throw up for 12 hrs straight I'd say your body has eliminated most everything.  So if you are me, and you think ....no KNOW... you were drugged at the bar and you go in for a test you (I) should not be surprised to get the test back only to find out the results are negative. No drugs present in my body. None.

Sigh........

From this experience I have learned a few things
1) No matter how carefully you watch your drink you have NO control when you are at the bar. We are certain it is the bartender that has been drugging us.  How can you be careful when your drink arrives to you already drugged??
2) If you even think you have been drugged get your ass into the ER immediately.  My friend went in right away in the morning and received a positive result on her test. She is the first person that the officer on our case had seen in 20 yrs to actually receive a positive result (due mostly to the short life of the drug in the body and girl's resistance for coming in for tests)
3) Pay for the test yourself.  I ran mine through the State Crime Lab so I didn't have to pay for it. It took over 2 months to get my results back.  CSI is only a tv show people. Crimes do NOT get solved in a day
4) Trust your gut. If you know something was wrong - it was.  I looked at pics that were taken the "night with no memory" and was sickened to see myself at bars I don't remember, doing things I barely or don't recall at all. 
5) If you are an experienced drinker, do not let others tell you that you just drank too much that night.
6) Always stay close to your friends when you are out. Always.  I am so glad I did that night

Alright kids, that is the lesson for today.

The bartender has been suspended from the bar after several other woman "had issues" after drinking there. The same guy was always working.  1/2 of his friends say he could never do anything like that and the other half call him creepy.  Isn't it funny the faces we can put on and the 'persona' we can create.  His friends are known druggies and drug pushers.  He looks like shit now- gained about 20 pounds and looks like he hasn't showered since being let go 2 months ago.  There will be no real court case. There isn't enough evidence. Again, CSI this is not.

Unedited version

Sometimes unedited means a few more swear words
Or in photography it means - untouched (like no airbrushing)
but in this video it means ....well..... nakedness.

Still one of my favorite songs



<3 EE <3 I'm addicted to you

Sigh.....a relaxed kind of sigh

A few days (finally) of laying around, slowing down, taking time, NOT cleaning 16 hrs of the day.  Getting outside, enjoying myself, being a bit more relaxed (using too many commas)  All in all the last few days have been lovely, and I don't take that for granted