Cold Bum, warm heart?

I have been so busy. Last week was crazy and stressful and emotional and lonely and and and ....I'm glad it is over.  I have worked the past three days and decided tonight to take tomorrow off (no need for 6am phone calls offering jobs).  One can do that when they sub you see.  I just put in for a non-work day and am feeling a bit guilty but then I remembered this sign:

My inner demons and my sanity want me to take tomorrow off and work around the house. We agree.

NOW
I did not post my other Valentine Day shoot pics.  I actually like this one better than the ones I posted for Valentine's Day. I think this is the case because they reflect my personality and style better than the b&w ones. I like them all really.

click thru:  there was only one problem with this outfit.... I got cold

My great grandma always said cold hands equal a warm heart, wonder if that applies here?

The cells don't forget and neither have I

This could be a drawing of me. But today we would need to add a tear in the corner of her eye. Today, to be accurate her eyes would need to have a bit more pain.  I read once that our cells, the very thing we are made up of has a memory. They remember traumatic events and can effect you physically and emotionally even if you aren't conscious of the date.

Today I remember and so do my cells. All the way down to the last functioning cell of my broken heart. 

Again

Another weekend alone

I talked to a friend today

A friend called me today. In this day and age that is an odd thing- no text, no email, no FB message....an actual phone call. We talked for an hour and eleven minutes. She was feeling so guilty about having a crush on a guy.  She did not do anything with this man, but she is crushing hard. So hard that she is questioning everything else in her life, especially her husband and her desire for him.

Sigh.....
don't we all go through that at some point? 

men and woman....did you know we aren't the same?

The difference between men and woman.  I get home from a 3hr. (should have been just over 2 hr) drive home through hard snow and sloshy/slippery roads passing over turned vehicles in the ditch most of the way and all I can think of doing is trying to remove the cramps from my hands/forearms/and leg from the death grip I had on the steering wheel and control I had on the gas pedal (no break- makes you slide) but because I was gone last night all my man can think about it how to tense other muscles ;)  obviously a good roll around the sheets will relax everything right?!  Funny.  He is now zzzzz and I am now relaxing.  We both got our way.

We are different creatures- men and woman.

Just another weekend

I am so very bored
and lonely

and although I have many things I should be and could be doing
(bills, writing a presentation, cleaning something, laundry)
none of it is holding my attention.

Just another weekend alone

Never go anywhere without your shadow

Does this shadow make my head look big?

This pic was snapped on my way back to the locker room last week at the gym. It makes me giggle because I swear my head looks too big!  Oh well. I have been so very dedicated to working out these last few months and now I have missed day after day after day because my youngest has been sick since Sunday.  I did make it one time this week but could very much tell I have been gone...... ouch!

I am hoping this weekend allows me at least one morning there

HungOver

I woke up this morning with a hangover
For the first time in a long time (like years)
I went back to bed for an hour after the kids got on the bus at 7

I need to do a better job of keeping track of the number of drinks vs time vs water I have had in a night.

I'm too old for this

I guess it could be worse then the little headache and weak feeling that I have. No throwing up, no inability to move, no migraine .....  still, too old for this !

A weird pondering- basically a post that started out NOTHING like how it ended.

If life were more like this I think we'd all be happier. 

Sometimes I wonder. I wonder if we were living hand to mouth in a hillside shanty in the olden days if we would be happier than we are now.  If we had our friends and family and we saw where our work went (to feed our families) if we'd not be such an anxious bunch of wound up freaks looking for release. 

But then reality hits me and I think about how cold it must have been, and what happens if you don't have enough money which means not enough food. What happens if your lil one gets sick and there is noone to tend to them.  Yes....it is easier to wish for an image in our heads that we idealize then it is to live in our reality.

But when our reality is examined, just maybe it is not so bad after all. Yes there are bills that go unpaid for a month or two or those that only get a few dollars thrown at them making not even a hole in the total. Yes, we are wound tight and have little time for true enjoyment in this world we have created. But it is our reality.

We can think of what it would be like to be with a different person, but until we have to deal with this real life stuff with them it is just a fantasy. The problem with relationships IS the real life B.S.- bills, kids, misunderstandings that come from being around each other. 

We can romanticize about earlier/easier times, but those times were neither romantic nor easy. They were full of labor intensive chores and a hard life which usually led to a quick death.

We can think others have it more together than we do, when in fact they probably just hide their problems better.

I need to just keep it real and appreciate what I do have, as do you.

Now off to hang my sign up- I don't want to be liable for the whoop ass my ninjas can inflict!  Maybe I'll slay a dragon along the way before jumping on the pirate ship for a shot o'whiskey.  (I didn't say you couldn't pretend)

ooox

 Happy Valentine's Day 

ooox

Jules

 

 Photo Credit: Jon H.