it just takes time

so what are the steps?
denial
frustration
guilt
acceptance......

I know I'm missing a few in there. but that is because mine have more like-

disbelief
confusion
sadness
false acceptance
anger
well then fuck you-ness!

I think that is how it has gone.

for the obscureness of this. could probably fit several things in my life right now. so therefore it's general

Porn Star Dancing- video included

NOOO, not me dancing.  Those days have probably passed.

Plus, it's been a long time since I felt anywhere near sexy, but the women on here seem to be shaking their stuff.  So for lack of something about myself (other than more pouting) here ya go:

the final of the final

just finished taking my last OHNT pics
the site is closing down
last step to HNT closing down
it is sad in so many ways
but it is oddly timed with my own life changes.

Change is a scary thing. I already see the changes in me with going back to work and the grind of my new life plus trying to keep up with my old stuff as well.  I don't like what it is doing to me, much less my immune system!  (I was sick again last night)

Hopefully I can retain me- the me I found with all this change.

Good bye OHNT, good bye old life.....here is to change
*raises coffee cup

Lucky Me- Pics from last year

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all ye lads and lassies.  I found the pics I took for last year's post and don't remember how many of them I posted. Did I do a slide show? I can't remember.  Soooooo, instead of going back and figuring it out (cuz I am lazy and don't really have time) I just figured- screw it!- and posted all 11 or so that I found (that I had edited already) My laziness is your luck. Happy SPD

P.S. there are no clicks- promise

The End  ;)

Long week

I am crying
It was a long week.  long long long week. 
it's not over
tonight will be near impossible.

oh well.  so it goes.

Yeah, I am.....

Tired...........

Some days I think that I just can't........

adults can work themselves up into tantrums too

my friend had an issue last Fall, yes months and months ago. it is all she has spoken of since.  she was never physically hurt. she is fine and was hours after. she was yes- upset. yes- violated. but never physically harmed.  the harm now has been what she is doing to herself. she has over the months worked herself up into such a tantrum that it really does remind me of one of my kids.  she is just short of throwing herself on the floor while kicking and screaming, kinda waiting for her to hold her breathe soon until she gets "justice".  all the time she is bitching (on and on) she is ignoring our friend who was raped by a cop. who was also violated, but in my opinion worse.  who did not get justice either.  who was told she did not have enough physical evidence (although it took her doctor 6 hours to document all that evidence).  sigh........

someone needs to tell friend 1 that she needs to move on . she needs to deal with this and just be done with it. if we are tired of hearing, as her friends, I can not imagine how others less close to her feel.  gah!  it will probably fall on my shoulders to say something. sux

(i am typing fast, i am not going to go back and proofread - so there)

I feel sorry for men

 I do!

woman are such a pain.

first i cry cuz I am alone weekend after weekend
and then today- I am cringing cuz he is around and
disturbing our groove.  he is there when I turn around
in my way. he is tense because he is working on book work
and everyone is hiding and skiddish and the house is quiet

i hate being alone but am used to it.  sigh.....

sorry men that we can never be happy it seems

yes i edited this picture (horribly)- but it applies

Just call me the lunch lady

Tomorrow's job?
Lunch lady.
Yup...........

It is 3 hrs. which is what I was planning on working before my original job got cancelled.  It allows me to do what I have to do with the kids in the morning and at their school and to run my errands in the afternoon while still making a bit of $$$$


sigh,......this working thing sucks