Listen up, ladies and gents….I’ve an announcement: Dating in the modern world—the post-COVID world is frustrating, mind-blowing (not for the reasons you might think) and dangerous.
I want to start with a quick trip down memory lane when dating seemed so easy.
12 years old: He’s cute….ohhh I think he’s looking at us! Oh my gosh! Instant crush!
16-17 years old: You wanna go to the fair this weekend? Sure! Pick you up around 7? Okay! When you get to the fair, you walk around and start holding hands like you’re an item. Dates at the fair become dates to the movies or the mall. So simple…
21 years old: Guy buys you a drink at a bar….make small talk….dance and have fun! You see him out while you’re having a great time with your friends and see if you can link up afterwards.
24 years old: The search for THE ONE is on….but don’t be fooled, there are a lot of almosts or flat out DUDS out there. Commence swiping left or right on these apps.
25 years old: The age I’d dreamed of being when life really came together for me. Also couldn’t be further from the truth….Still dating on and off….maybe I’ll try one of those paid subscriptions…..those work, right?
26 years old: When you find someone and you “click”….but then your parents don’t approve….(this happened A LOT)
28 years old: You’re finally in a relationship, everything is going well. You feel safe and secure and have a vision of where its going. Then BAM! That relationship ends….and it is soul crushing. Everything you thought you knew about love and life left when that relationship ended.
29 years old: Swears off dating. Focuses on self for a while. Also, gets a dog!
30 years old: Starts dabbling in online dating again…but super critical of the choices. This one is too skinny, too dorky, doesn’t have a job listed, has kids, what? doesn’t like dogs NEXT! This one seems okay, but is sending pictures from the waist down—ewww!
Still 30 years old: Conversations don’t go as easily as the last time I was doing the online dating. There are so many that try to hook you with some kind of sexual innuendo or cheesy one liner….my patience for having the same conversation 10 times with different folks is waning—FAST. Hoping that maybe ONE will actually say something unique or be eye catching….also me–I forget what I tell people…more added fun for me.
31 years old: Meets several duds….mind-blown over the level of stupidity that exists in the world. Seriously contemplates being single forever. What do I really need a man for anyhow? Also, why was it so easy to date five years ago and its so hard now?
32 years old: Meets someone and interestingly enough, my parents like them. There are definite things I proceed with caution on but others that check the boxes…overall seems like he’s decent. Same person throws a fit every now and again or sometimes straight up won’t talk “I didn’t feel like talking today” Okay…..so what about the last 3 days? Or will throw out this one liner “I don’t think we match” Well, we are not the same person—so of course, we aren’t going to match.
33 yo/Present day: Still heavily considering the single life as the way to go—FARRRRR fewer headaches and less frustration caused by anybody else. Also, still trying to wrap my mind around the last one…I was always told, if someone wants to leave, then let them go. Don’t chase after them. If they leave and come back then maybe it was meant to be—but think carefully about letting them back.
So, the opportunity knocked again, when said person started spewing reasons we didn’t match….how we clashed “We don’t like the same music” “You want a high end car…I want an old muscle car” “You would rather sit by a pool….I would rather go camping.” Correct me if I am wrong—this is not clashing. This is merely differences in interests–which are entirely OKAY to have in a relationship. Clashing would be a character flaw that stood out each and every time. Like: He was so full of himself—he couldn’t even acknowledge anything beyond himself and his world. Clashing would be constant argument and never able to reach agreement on anything–big or little. We never clashed—in fact, we always had a great time when we were together. But he started looking for a way out, so I opened the virtual door and invited him to leave.
You either want to be with me or you don’t. You either love me or you don’t. You either appreciate all that I am and all I bring to the table….or you don’t. I am at a point in life where I am a-okay just going on by myself. I have everything I need. I have a career that pays me. I have a roof over my head. I have the companionship of a fun-loving dog. I have the love and support of a tight-knit group of family and friends. But I don’t have the desire to chase anyone. So if you truly want to be with me—you will find a way not an excuse.