She stares in the mirror. The long, faint scar reaches down her left hip. After nearly 8 years, it has become barely noticeable. Swollen knees now look ordinary, as if not her own. The once emaciated thigh has grown defined muscle. She looks down at her feet. Thinning skin reveals where injections relentlessly punctured and … Continue reading This is 30.
A sense of freedom lost
I used to love riding my bike. The freedom I felt as I rode along was almost intoxicating. So, when I decided to go for a bike ride for the first time in years, I felt a nostalgic excitement seep over me. Climbing onto my bike, I allowed my inner child to take control. Pushing … Continue reading A sense of freedom lost
Medication – why I’m still scared of covid
I’ve heard a reoccurring sentiment recently, that ‘we’ve got to get back to normal’. We’ve seen the government highlighting this, stripping England of its restrictions in the last week. To some extent, I do agree. But what is beginning to anger me is the inability from others to see just how terrifying this virus still … Continue reading Medication – why I’m still scared of covid
Ulcerative Colitis – the illness I don’t talk about.
On this blog, I’ve primarily talked about my life with arthritis. It’s what I’ve known since I was a child. It’s all I’ve ever known, really. But last year, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Before last year, I’d never even heard of this disease. I’m sure many others still haven’t. Since the diagnosis, I … Continue reading Ulcerative Colitis – the illness I don’t talk about.
‘Freedom Day’ – An Open Letter to the British Public
Tomorrow signifies 'Freedom Day' in England. Masks will be tossed aside, people will huddle together once more and, as if no time has passed, people will return to a form of normality we have all longed for. But this isn’t the case for many people. Particularly, people who are vulnerable like myself. For those identified … Continue reading ‘Freedom Day’ – An Open Letter to the British Public
Feelings of Guilt.
We all feel it. There is a darkness that plagues all of our thoughts. We all feel its crippling impact on our lives. It is often overwhelming. At the moment, my darkness is consuming me. The doctors won't tell you this part. They won't say a common side effect of living with a chronic illness … Continue reading Feelings of Guilt.
I’m scared.
Many things scare me. Spiders, sharks, horror films, the sound of someone being sick. Many things fill me with fear. Many of these things are irrational. But at the moment, a new fear clings to me. And for once, it’s something to truly worry about, to fill my body with a crippling anxiety. I am … Continue reading I’m scared.
‘Walking to Defy Arthritis’ – Thank you.
How do I describe what this means to me? I fear I can’t. My words feel completely inadequate. I have lived with this illness all of my life, yet I never truly knew its impact until last year. A year where I became bedridden, wheelchair-bound, and even hospitalised. This month of walking has been a struggle. … Continue reading ‘Walking to Defy Arthritis’ – Thank you.
Lockdown – have I become paranoid?
Yesterday, I went for a walk for the first time in 11 weeks. It felt strange to use my legs again, to exercise muscles that have started to shrink and wither away. It felt wrong to walk in an open space, to be breathing the same air other people had; people I don’t live with. … Continue reading Lockdown – have I become paranoid?
‘Clinically Extremely Vulnerable’ – I received a Government Letter
Near the end of March, I received a letter from the government. It was a letter no one wants to receive, a letter highlighting the imperfections in myself I usually try to hide. It told me I am ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’. It told me I had to be housebound for at least 12 weeks. It … Continue reading ‘Clinically Extremely Vulnerable’ – I received a Government Letter
Chronically Catherine 