i dont know if your reading this, or realize that im talking to you. a few years ago you said that you'll always be there for me. i hate to tell you, i told you so. im not saying its your fault. i think its inevitable. and its for the best in our case.

my old posts seem like it was written by someone i faintly know. time really does change everything.  and i thought i was mature then.  but then again, maybe im just tired of the drama. its really not maturity but just apathy.

sometimes i worry because i seem so indifferent. then i shrug it off.

wishing for a change
just stop procrastinating
will start tomorrow

something new i learned lately: i never have to explain myself to anyone. i don't need to be understood.

why does it always rain on me?

cost of time

for me, the cost of time is 1 million pesos. to buy me the privilege of running and jumping for the rest of my active life. 15 more years? maybe? until i get my knee replaced, which is inevitable. even if i managed to save 1M in the future,  i think my time has passed by then.

more than two weeks have passed since the accident, but its only tonight that i realize the gravity of my injury. took me 3 doctors (two of which are the best orthopedic sports doctor in the country), to convince me how serious this is.

frisbee and being active is my life.  now that they are telling me that i cant do these anymore. feels like a part of me just died.

Tonight, I pray for you.

and so it ends..

it was fun, but i need something real. thanks for the memories.

this weeks has been an emotional roller coaster

unfortunately, it ended low... really low.

i have to end this. i need something real.

i don't know if im just really lazy or apathetic.  i think its both, but more on the latter.   i still haven't seen the change im looking for. i guess it won't just come to me while sitting here and waiting.  i feel that nothing's changed. maybe a bit worse.

this might be the most boring birthday, ever.  hey, its just another day.