So there I was, snoozing away today on the couch (Which I am not supposed to be on) and the phone rings.

Someone says “Please hold for Michael”, and I’m thinking Michael? Michael who?…

And suddenly the Presiding Bishop comes on and wants to talk.

He’s a good talker.

I’m a good listener.

He asks me to be an advisor to TEC during the next year…

I’m back!!!!  

I’m back!

I would suggest to the church that they consider the renaming of the “transitional deaconate” to something which would better describe and differentiate the position, and in particular, differentiate it from the vocational deaconate. A few dog years back, I listened to a homily for a TD that was positively filled with “go into the world, serve the poor, look for the least and lost” and so forth. It occurred to me that this paltry 6 month period wasn’t living up to its billing as set forth in this homily. It’s more about learning how to set the table, listen to people’s advice, shop from the Almy catalog, and learn good interview techniques and Skype technology than it is to be a deacon, as far as I can tell.

Maybe I’m wrong about this, but Apprentice Priest, or Shadow Priest, or Training Wheels Priest seems a better name. But I’m just an old dog, so what do I know? I welcome the input from the many several couple of readers out in the blog world who still engage in this sort of thing.

Woofy blessings,
+Clumber

I’ve been taking it easy today because the old dog is just tired. See item 5 in this list (9 Rules) in case you don’t understand the word tired. I’m sick too. Sick of reading all the run up to GC stuff, all the rules and thoughts and videos and interviews and waste. Whatever happened to my idea of putting all the bishops into RV’s and having them live on the road all the time. The humans just don’t listen well!

In the meantime, the local Bishop seems to be riding slowly into the sunset. Why does it take so darn long to say goodbye? Here’s your hat and it’s  been swell. Okay? So we have 15 years of no progress and a lot of ass scratching. I have heard rumors that I may get a call to be the interim. If that’s true, I pledge to never ever use the phrase “the church of the 21st century”! We’ve got so many empty dog houses around the diocese that we may have to start recruiting overseas to get some new dogs to preside.

So there are more rumors floating around too, but unlike the majority of people around in sensitive positions, I’m not gonna spill the beans, even with you, dear readers.

Hope your weekend is spectacular!

Woof!

Okay, blood pressure is back close to normal. I got a call from HHC last night and that cat knows her stuff! I was worried about what might possibly be and not being in this moment right here. So she has set me on a more even keel, but I’m still a mad old dog. I’ll write more later, but I’ve gotta clean the doghouse first.

Woof out

While I’m no longer a bishop, I still have ideas floating around in my head. I’ve come up with a TRECesque proposal:  That the church just is not doing enough research into Shiny Object Theology®. <— See that symbol there? I’ve registered the term SOT®, by the way.

I think we need to crank up the level of distractions into new directions and themes and liturgical experiments a little higher. We’re just too focused on following Jesus, it seems to me.

Well, that’s it. I’ve been in denial for so long and put up with so much that I was blinded to the truth that was happening. After over 5 years with a giant monkey on my back, I finally was able to shed it. The EA meetings were successful and I walked away, clean and ready to do stuff. 

But of course, that didn’t last long. We ran into a brick wall. In fact, several brick walls, a few boneheads, and some really dangerous people.

The truth is that I’ve wasted 15 years in complete denial to how bad things were and now I am ready to walk away completely.

I’ve had it with the political mess that is TEC. And that’s even without the magnificent waste of money that General Convention will be. It’s time to curl up on the old dog’s couch and start unfriending, unfollowing, and unsubscribing to the grand circus of online Episcopal nonsense. It won’t happen overnight. It won’t happen in a month, and maybe not even in a year. But the old dog finally has gotten smart in the ways of the machines around us and the tragic lack of leadership up and down the chains. I don’t know if my blogging is back. It’s always been a way to have a laugh and get rid of some anger and demons.

I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it any more.

And I’ll leave it to the reader (and I think at this point that’s probably all that follow me, or maybe it’s even a slight exaggeration) to figure out what FTC stands for.

Oh, and I’ve resigned as bishop as well, so just call me Ozzie from now on.