The irony of having Trump feature on the ad below my two most recent posts…

My views on Trump have rarely been better enunciated than by this man.
Someone asked “Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:

“A few things spring to mind.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever.

I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.

Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.

Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.

He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.

There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.
* You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.

He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.

In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:

‘My God… what… have… I… created?

If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

Challenged in the New Year, to walk the 93 miles of the Moray Loop, with the challenger, what does a man do, but go for it?

I should explain perhaps that the Moray Loop is the joining together of three separate long distance tracks, which form the approximate boundary line of Moray.
These are The Dava Way, The Speyside Way, and the Moray Coastal Way, linking Forres to Grantown on Spey, to Spey Bay, then back along the coast to Forres.

When challenges beckon, it is best to seize them before you have time to change your mind, so on January 3rd we tackled Section I of the 24.5 miles of the Dava Way  – 7 miles or so – a gentle ascent no steeper than a steam engine could manage, as it follows the track of the old Forres Grantown railway line, laid in 1863. The most notable feature on this section cutting through open countryside was the number of old bridges where tracks had crossed the railway line. A Roe buck and youngster spotted us from their grazing spot in a field, and in the entire seven miles we met not another single human being! Second section was to be tackled the next week…

http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1216154

On the 8th January,  at 8 a.m. when the alarm woke me it did not look like a day when I wanted to tackle the next section of the Dava Way – the first 24 miles of the 95 mile Moray Loop. But my walk buddy announced she would be picking me up at 09.10 regardless! She drove us to Edinkillie, where we had ended our first 7 mile stretch, and off we went, with Jet, the gun dog, sniffing out pheasants already in the car park. This stretch took us over the north Dava Moor, with long straight runs of good quality track through a wilderness of peat bogs and moorland. It also passes by “Halfway Hut”, containing various informative pieces of signage, solar-powered lighting, a Visitors’ Book, and Oh Joy! – a large tin of Quality Street chocolates, left by a generous benefactor for those who pass by, to help themselves. The other feature is the old ruins of a croft where once lived a lady who had her orders delivered by the engine driver dropping her parcels out of his cab as the train came near the croft. He would blow the whistle, and her Collie, Jess, was trained to run down to the track, and return with the package – an early example of “Shop and Drop”? Today’s section was a relatively straightforward 6.4 miles…

http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1216150

Dava Way Section III – Dava to Grantown, 8 miles, completed 11th January, so the full 24 miles done now in three segments, since January 3rd. It was an overcast morning with occasional light drizzle. Probably the most interesting section of the Dava Way, although no huts with free Quality Street along this part of it! Jet was convinced the Redcoat returning from Culloden was a mortal threat to us, and spent several minutes doing her stuff, with threatening growls and pre-attack barking, calming down only slightly when “mummy” was obviously brave enough to stand beside him!

Castle Grant’s Lodge connects directly with Lady Catherine’s Halt on the former railway line. When the dowager Countess of Seafield’s coffin was unloaded off the train to lie in Castle Grant before burial, to their consternation they discoved that the spiral staircase descending from the floor level with the line, to the ground, was too narrow for the coffin. With snow all around they slid it down the steep embankment with some difficulty.

We did a slight detour to visit Huntly’s Crag and cave, overlooking a deep ravine, and climbed up to the Dreggie waterfall above Grantown, towards the end of the walk, marching into Grantown in time to be driven for lunch at the Muckrach Country House Hotel – and very good it was too…

http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1216516

Sections on the Speyside Way to follow…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Speyside Way – 43 miles

Section I from Spey Bay to Ordiequish was completed on January 14th. The walk from Spey Bay to Ordiequish via Fochabers, follows the Spey closely to the Fochabers Bridge, before turning slightly inland following the minor road south from Fochabers to Ordiequiesh, where the cliff above the Earth Pillars provide a commanding view up the Spey southwards.

http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1221566

Section II takes us on an icy January 18th from Ordiequish to Boat o’ Brig, hugging the eastern hillside of the Spey Valley, and providing panoramic views both up and down the valley. The track, mainly road, was treacherous underfoot, and our yaktrax proved their worth. There is an extraordinary neo-Georgian pile within view of this minor road, built only a few years ago for one of the Mountain family, but which looks as if it may have been there for centuries.

http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1221568

January 21st was another cold morning with snow on the ground as we tackled the 7.5 mile stretch from Boat o’ Brig to Craigellachie. A large portion of the trek was through woodland high on the hill of the eastern bank of the Spey valley. This stretch involves a good cardiac workout, with the incline in places reaching almost 30% – that’s steep work, but again with rewarding panoramioc views over the http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1217796

On January 28th, Dawn was breaking over Ben Rinnes as we headed off for the start of our eight mile section of the Speyside Way, from Craigellachie to Knockando. It was hovering around freezing – ideal for testing the new Icebreaker merino wool underlayers and Berghaus High tech outer layers the kids bought me for my birthday. There was a thin layer of snow on the track and surrounding fields and hills for the whole journey – very picturesque. Jet was busy raising pheasants, and alarming Roe deer in adjoining fields, panicking at one stage over the swaying motion of a pedestrian suspension bridge which we were walking across, with her. She bolted back to the side we started, and was considering swimming the river, until we coaxed her across finally, rewarding her for being so brave! It was a long haul today and some muscles were complaining, but they will have a rest as my walking buddy is off to the States for a fortnight shortly, and I will have to resort to the treadmill while she is away, to be fit enough to pick up where we left off, on the Moray Loop. At this stage we have completed about 50 of its 93 mile length…not bad going over seven sections.
http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1218756

-to be cont’d

 

 

 

 

Challenged in the New Year, to walk the 93 miles of the Moray Loop, with the challenger, what does a man do, but go for it?

I should explain perhaps that the Moray Loop is the joining together of three separate long distance tracks, which form the approximate boundary line of Moray. These are The Dava Way, The Speyside Way, and the Moray Coastal Way, linking Forres to Grantown on Spey, to Spey Bay, then back along the coast to Forres. When challenges beckon, it is best to seize them before you have time to change your mind, so on January 3rd we tackled Section I of the 24.5 miles of the Dava Way – 7 miles or so – a gentle ascent no steeper than a steam engine could manage, as it follows the track of the old Forres Grantown railway line, laid in 1863. The most notable feature on this section cutting through open countryside was the number of old bridges where tracks had crossed the railway line. A Roe buck and youngster spotted us from their grazing spot in a field, and in the entire seven miles we met not another single human being! Second section was to be tackled the next week… http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1216154

On the 8th January, at 8 a.m. when the alarm woke me it did not look like a day when I wanted to tackle the next section of the Dava Way – the first 24 miles of the 95 mile Moray Loop. But my walk buddy announced she would be picking me up at 09.10 regardless! She drove us to Edinkillie, where we had ended our first 7 mile stretch, and off we went, with Jet, the gun dog, sniffing out pheasants already in the car park. This stretch took us over the north Dava Moor, with long straight runs of good quality track through a wilderness of peat bogs and moorland. It also passes by “Halfway Hut”, containing various informative pieces of signage, solar-powered lighting, a Visitors’ Book, and Oh Joy! – a large tin of Quality Street chocolates, left by a generous benefactor for those who pass by, to help themselves. The other feature is the old ruins of a croft where once lived a lady who had her orders delivered by the engine driver dropping her parcels out of his cab as the train came near the croft. He would blow the whistle, and her Collie, Jess, was trained to run down to the track, and return with the package – an early example of “Shop and Drop”? Today’s section was a relatively straightforward 6.4 miles…

http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1216150

Dava Way Section III – Dava to Grantown, 8 miles, completed 11th January, so the full 24 miles done now in three segments, since January 3rd. It was an overcast morning with occasional light drizzle. Probably the most interesting section of the Dava Way, although no huts with free Quality Street along this part of it! Jet was convinced the Redcoat returning from Culloden was a mortal threat to us, and spent several minutes doing her stuff, with threatening growls and pre-attack barking, calming down only slightly when “mummy” was obviously brave enough to stand beside him! Castle Grant’s Lodge connects directly with Lady Catherine’s Halt on the former railway line. When the dowager Countess of Seafield’s coffin was unloaded off the train to lie in Castle Grant before burial, to their consternation they discovered that the spiral staircase descending from the floor level with the line, to the ground, was too narrow for the coffin. With snow all around they slid it down the steep embankment with some difficulty. We did a slight detour to visit Huntly’s Crag and cave, overlooking a deep ravine, and climbed up to the Dreggie waterfall above Grantown, towards the end of the walk, marching into Grantown in time to be driven for lunch at the Muckrach Country House Hotel – and very good it was too…

http://www.ipernity.com/doc/coldwaterjohn/album/1216516

Sections on the Speyside Way to follow…

This year a Wren took over one of the swallow’s nests in the pond garden gazebo, converting it into a comfortable moss and hair lined residence to win the heart of his partner. They were happy to disregard the human sitting just feet below their home, taking numerous photographs of them, as they ferried an endless supply of bugs and grubs to feed the voraciously hungry youngsters.

IMG_1866IMG_2082IMG_2072IMG_2067IMG_2066IMG_2041IMG_2048

Miss Blondie seems to have been back to her Tail Stylist recently…and continues to improve her pole dancing technique.

IMG_2508IMG_2509IMG_2503

Full Fiscal Stupidity

Labour’s rout in Scotland

Perhaps if Labour had a better record of serving their electors in Scotland over the past three generations or so, and had not installed a driver determined to steer the bus towards the economic cliff on the left, I would feel some sympathy for the rout they faced. As it is, it was thoroughly deserved – I am only sorry the axe was wielded by the SNP. Before the BBC goes describing Scotland as a one party state, they should wait for the Holyrood election in 2016.
Thank God, with an overall Conservative majority in the UK government, the SNP representation will be no more than an irritant, as opposed to the kingmaker Mr Salmond sees himself as. Words fail me on the deluded voters of Paisley voting for the 20 year old Miss Black. Parliament will need to provide text subscript and translation services for any interjections she makes, and a beep button to avoid offence to listeners!

The Ant and The Grasshopper…

Two versions, Old & New…

OLD Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has stored no food nor built a shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself.

Now for the MODERN Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving… The BBC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
Britain is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on News Night with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green …’
“Occupy the Anthill” stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film a group from the Labour Party singing, “We shall overcome.”
The Archbishop of Cantaloup has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper while he condemns the ant’s insensitivity.
Ed Milliband (Very Old Labour) jumps on the photo opportunity and also condemns the ant, but blames David Cameron, George Osborne and Margaret Thatcher for the grasshopper’s plight.

Nichola Sturgeon (Seriously Nasty Party and leader of the Scottish Assembly) says this could never happen in Scotland, and it won’t happen again in England if Ed will let her make the rules… even though she’s ineligible to sit in Parliament!

Nigel Farage (United Kingdom Insect Party) says this is the type of opportunity that opportunist migrant bugs will seize upon and that we should really be spraying the Channel Tunnel with bug spray.

Polly Toynbee and Vanessa Redgrave exclaim in an interview on BBC News that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant-hill mansion to make him pay his fair share.

Finally the EU intervenes and drafts the Economic Equity For Grasshopper’s Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs while constructing his ant-hill and, having nothing left to pay fines and taxes, his home is confiscated and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading buddies holding a party and finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which as you recall just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the lack of maintenance.

The ant disappears into the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead from obesity and his new found chum, Kermit the Frog, can’t even be bothered to attend the funeral. The Ant-hill, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of eastern European spiders who terrorize the once prosperous neighbourhood. The entire Nation collapses bringing down the rest of the free world with it because Grasshoppers and Spiders are not entrepreneurs… they are just opportunists.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be very careful how you vote (and you can never trust a singing frog).

I’ve sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant not a grasshopper!
Make sure that you pass this on to other ants. Don’t bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it anyway.

Lily of St Leonard’s blog on Scotland’s political scene is recommended reading

http://effiedeans.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/whats-so-great-about-britain.html

It is so refreshing to be able to read Effie Dean’s well-crafted commentary in her blog articles – a ray of light in an otherwise febrile morass of the great unwashed trying to silence any form of logical debate in their stampede towards the Koolaid queue.

Public political discourse requires a level of basic literacy to enable the contributor to string together whole sentences without the need to revert to the near-illiterates’ default position of using an obscenity for every other word. Sometimes I wonder if Tourette’s syndrome is widespread in Scotland, but I suspect it is more likely to be an indictment of Scotland’s education system, that so many of those supporting the independence movement and the SNP seem to fail to meet the most basic educational requirements to be useful and productive members of the society they seek to create.
In the circumstances it is probably best they stick to pitching up at SNP rallies wearing their Hey Jimmie hats, and giving the rest of Britain an insight into what their potential future neighbouring state could resemble.

In the meantime Edinburgh’s poshest can keep deep-frying the Ferrero Rochers and talking in tones which make the Queen sound as if she has been on the Benedictine, comforting themselves that the SNP will never gain a foothold in their rarified environs. They could be in for the most appallingly rude shock, come May 8th…

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started