27 Thursday Feb 2014
Posted in Poetry
Days of drizzle and a sudden warmth
And some laughter mixed with traffic sounds
Bare feet on a wooden floor
and some wine and wine and more wine after that
And the floor it squeaked like a distant cry
and the water drops they hummed
and the night was dark with reflection on the walls
For the warmth of mirth has just crawled back
23 Sunday Feb 2014
Posted in Love Contemplations
“Why, darling, I don’t live at all when I’m not with you.” ― Ernest Hemingway
Dear, Mr. Hemingway
I have no idea which of your characters said that but I have lived that reality. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Paid with my soul.
Heart cracks may not heal, but they let sunlight in, don’t they?
T
14 Friday Feb 2014
Posted in Love, Relationship
Tags
Today is Valentine’s Day and as this is a blog that contemplates love (mostly) I kinda, sorta, shoulda blog about Valentine’s Day. I wonder what my friends will be doing…those who are in long-term relationships and those who are single. Will they spend the day in a special way?
Personally, I am not sure how I’ll spend the day. I need to get out of the house during the day for sure. So I will head downtown to run some errands and in the meantime I might take a few photos of old town. Just to capture the beauty of the day. Yes, I think I will do that.
I do not feel lonely today because I don’t have a strong connection with this day. As I mentioned in my previous post, Valentine’s Day is just one of those days…when I get to choose how I will feel about it. However, I do wish at least one person could say: Happy Valentine’s. You know, just for the sake of it.
In the meantime, enjoy these quirky and original Valentine cards from Lost Marbles.
10 Monday Feb 2014
Posted in Love
Tags
For those of you who keep up with this blog (I am a terrible blogger I admit that), it has become clear that I am a romantic soul deep down and I get all mushy and stuff…when the situation is right. But perhaps few of you know that I have never had a proper Valentine’s day…on the actual day. Therefore, my relationship with this…celebration of love…is quite a complicated one.
I will explain why. See the thing is I do not care whether I get to spend a special Valentine’s day or not, but society is constantly reminding me I should care. You see I have had dozens of Valentine’s days…just not on the 14th of February. As a result I cannot help but pity the couples who get to be romantic once a year…like properly romantic, with all of the expected props: chocolates, wine, flowers, candles, etc.
A year ago I wrote about Valentine’s day and its meaning to me. I don’t think my view has changed. However, I do feel a bit weird that despite all my attempts at love I am yet again…on my own. If I have one speciality it is to be dumped by my boyfriends. Ha ha. No seriously, it’s very funny.
I suppose the only way not to be dumped is to remain single, for as long as possible and not commit to anyone. And not care about Valentine’s day. I am really tired at being left. Really really tired.
09 Sunday Feb 2014
Posted in Relationship
All the movies we didn’t get to watch together
All the undrunk wine
All the beuatiful places we didn’t visit
All the words unsaid
All the dreams unlived
All the joy unshared
All the hope forever lost
All the things we hid
All the laughs unheard
All the memories unspoken
…
08 Saturday Feb 2014
Posted in Relationship
Today is a special day. On this day 5 years ago I made the most important step in my life (and bravest) up to this day. I flew to England to have an exchange semester at uni. From that day on a lot changed in my life. Mostly, me. My mindset, my plans, my perception of life, people and me.
I met a person who made me forget all others and made me forget the guy I was with. This person has been the most important human being in my life for the past 5 years. When I look back I see happiness, laughter, admiration, support, growth, dreams, plans, anticipation…But I also see guilt, loneliness, sadness, blame, anger, depression.
I don’t know what the future holds for me…or him. But I hope I never regret meeting him and taking that step 5 years ago.
11 Saturday Jan 2014
Any way you say it it’s still going to pain me
And I don’t know why
and I don’t know
how
but the sadness crept in slowly
and I felt the urge to scream and I felt
the tears waiting on the corners of my eyes
but I did not let them fall
I’d never let them fall
this isn’t me anymore
not this pain, not this sadness
I am whole
immense
strong and weak
and past and present
I am softness and ice and
blood and heart
and you cannot reach me
only sadness can
06 Monday Jan 2014
Posted in Love
I never knew what exactly you tried to fix in me
but it worked
And I changed and my world collapsed and you rebuilt it again and again
for me, for me only, for you loved me
With the fire and the passion of a mad man
You didn’t care if you were going to be part of it
You only wanted to save me
and you did
So I chose you
over every reason and over every virtue
because what changes your life
stays within you
A sin against all reason
and a sin against all truth
but not a sin against the heart.
05 Sunday Jan 2014
Posted in Relationship
Push and you will be resisted
Convince and you will be resented
Love and you will be hated
Cherish and you will be detested
Chase and you will be avoided
Beg and you will be cursed
Want and you will be ignored
Hope and you will be left alone
03 Friday Jan 2014
Posted in Relationship
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 11,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Contemplating Love 
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