2 things

when the kids were little we had this routine at supper time. each of us would tell a good thing and a bad thing that had happened that day. one evening, in her sweet, squeaky, little 4-year-old voice, josephine just said, "grammawgrampaw." the rest of us laughed and laughed. did she not understand the concept? or had nothing bad occurred? whatever the case, from then on our little ritual was no longer "good thing/bad thing," but simply, "2 things."

having read this blog post from josephine yesterday morning, let me just say, "josephinesean."

as a parent it is very gratifying to know they have such a close relationship. have each others back, so to speak. may you all be so lucky.  may you always be such good friends with your siblings...

ok. enough sap for today. check out this article about a recent breakthrough in alzheimer's research involving β-breakers. that's "beta-breakers" - not to be confused with the annual "bay-to-breakers" 12-k run in san francisco.

Few things to keep in mind when doing this historical and very San Francisco race:

-You can drink and party on the route during the race. Be prepared to see bars and kegs on wheels.
-There will be many runners and walkers in costumes. Elvis will be seen numerous times through out the day.
-Bring tortillas for the start of the race. You don’t want to be unprepared for the traditional “Tortilla Fight” starting line.
-This is the only day you can be nude in public and not get arrested...(nude costume)

you can read more about the silly race here.

(pictured above: vegan cornbread and avocado salsa.) Read more!

go star wars!

mom and i spent 2 relaxing days and nights at my sister's in stephenville. the food was great, the company even better. mom was disoriented most of the time. especially toward the end.

she enjoyed being with her grandson even though she didn't know his name. that's him flashing the *hook 'em horns* sign. we were playing go fish with his star wars cards. yes, we're a real intellectual group. (doesn't that look like a norman rockwell painting?)

more pics after the jump...

she interacted well while sitting at the table playing cards.



this is a 52 second slide show of the affair...




give me all your neimoidian acclamator-class hokey pokey okey dokey solar sailers...

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♫ happy birthday to you ♪♫♪

(updated post script after the jump)

and mom says so, too...

(sorry we didn't get around to making you a card, lynn anne.)

p.s.
at mom's today we called l.a. to wish her a happy birthday, but got the answering machine. mom talked for a while and either forgot she was talking to a machine or l.a. had picked up during the call. anyway, mom said, "i'll let you talk to rick" and handed me the phone.

i took it and said, "hello. hello?...hellooo?..."

hahahahahaha. doh! i sure hope the machine was still running to catch our buffoonery. Read more!

adventure at the arboretum

yesterday i was one of 16 lucky individuals to go on a field trip to the dallas arboretum. we were 11 memory care residents and 5 chaperons.

our 5 hour adventure included 1 1/2 hours of walking, riding and sitting as we enjoyed the splendor of a 66 acre park filled with perennial and annual blooms, old growth and newly cultivated trees, sculpture, construction, and most importantly, human interaction.

i can't remember the lady's name on the left, but that's henry in the middle and mom on the right.
(click on the pic, lynn anne, to see yo momma's natural smile.)

although henry's daughter and i went to be with our parents, we ended spending more time chasing the more active old geezers around.



- the weather was a perfect 72 degrees.
- we only had one scare; when ms. billie fell on the pavement.
- the 2 hour adventure actually took 6 hours from start to finish.
- mom said she was surprised at how beautiful it was.
- i saw a sign advertising chicken salad sandwiches!! (and some stonework i'd forgotten doing 15 years ago.)
- joyce thought everyone there was with our group.
- everyone there wished they were part of our group.
- i am more in awe than ever of full time caregivers.

and i hope this slide show works...

[edit: i see it works, but the 1st half of it is the same as the 2nd half without the captions... doh!]




peace, y'all. Read more!

do, a deer ♫ ♫♫

it's been months since i went with mom to her friday happy hour. i used to take her every week, but now the staff takes just about all of the memory unit residents. i'm glad i went today. they had chicken salad sandwich quarters for snacks!

besides, i thought the entertainer was interesting.

as we were leaving, mom typically started to turn the wrong way and i tried to steer her back on course. she said, "but i want to thank him for coming." that's very unlike her. i guess she thought he was "interesting", too.

turns out he was called at the last minute when the scheduled performer called in sick, and i mean that literally. he got the call 30 minutes before show time. he told us he also teaches painting at VT on saturdays and preaches on sundays at various places and is the best husband in the world because he always says "yes dear." did i mention he's kinda sorta funny?

as we walked out mom turned to me and said, "not a very good singer was he?"

ahahahahahhahahaha

true. but he was enthusiastic. and mom smiled and clapped and thoroughly enjoyed herself. he mostly sang what i call show tunes to canned music. cabaret, new york new york, exodus, south pacific, several from the sound of music that mom obviously recognized, it's a grand old flag, ain't she sweet...mom did her spontaneous hand-tapping-boogie to that one.

 

he sang stuff that ripped right through the dementia and said, "well, hello there. i know you."

my favorites were a couple of al jolson tunes he sang a capella. i think they were mom's favorites, too. i could see her grin from behind.

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me and my dad?

my dad and i... my dad and me... 

"my dad and me" *feels* better.

 

would you say, "this is me," or "this is i?" and which side of the quotation mark does the puncuation go in that sentence? 

come on grammar police. hep me out.

i bet he didn't know i was hiding a stick behind my back...hahahahaha

 

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[that reminds me...hey, chris of  "inside my heart" blog - for at least a month now i've been unable to view your blog for more than a few seconds before that tab of my browser crashes.  this is admittedly a pretty crappy computer, but it doesn't seem to happen with other blogs, web pages, etc. what's up with that?]

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last week sometime, mom and i were looking at a picture of my daughter and her 2 grand dads taken at her 3rd or 4th birthday party on velasco street. i left it out on mom's chairside table because we both enjoyed looking at and talking about it. 

today she said she couldn't remember why it was there. i reminded her. and i told her again the next 4 or 5 times when she asked why "she" had put it there. i decided to change the subject slightly.

i asked her if she remembered the first time josephine's "other" granndpa in the picture had come to her house. (suffice to say, she couldn't even remember his name without prompting, but when told, she even said the late grandma's name!)

anyway...the story goes that The Colonel and Mrs. Musgrave, my new parents-in-law, were coming to mom and dad's house for the 1st time. the colonel is a rather distinguished fellow. everyone was anxious to pretend to be equally distinguished and respectable, of course.

the musgraves were invited in and after the proper howdy-dos had been exchanged, they were offerred seats for what was, up to that point, a little bit of a nervous occasion... oh, no worries... my brother, who was about 8 years old at the time, had put a whoopie cushion in the colonel's seat. 

PPPPPTTHTTTTHHHHH!! 

it was awesome. (the colonel is now 96 years old and still sharp as a tack. i wonder if he remembers that story and how how hard he laughed at the situation and at himself?)

mom heard this story today as if for the first time and i swear she laughed so hard i thought she was going to choke. at the time, as i remember it, she was freaking mortified. 

a little later this morning i made the whoopie cushion sound again and she cracked up again.

here's mom in her "new" favorite outfit. yes, lynn anne, she wears it several times a week. she'll even tell you it's her favorite if you comment on it.

p.s. i give up trying to hide most of this beyond the read more text. arghhh Read more!

2 poems for fall. by Josephine T. Bibby

well, that last post about josephine's amazing literary skills was fairly popular. but it seems to have failed to sufficiently embarrass the daughter. so let's see if i can rectify that after the jump.

(you uppity little so-and-so. don't you roll your eyes at ME, missy!)

(((muahahahaaaa...))) 

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as a 7 year old, she was unquestionably and undeniably the brutally, unbelievable, underage, *poet lariat* of velasco street. or at least of our household.

she was the master of rap before rap was popular. and she can still talk your ears to a painful pulp.

before mtv existed, MC J-O Co0L ruled the universe from her yellow writing pad. singlehandedly.  

oh? you think i'm exaggerating? hah! take what follows as irrefutable evidence. read it and weep, suckas...

two seasonal poems from the master: 

"FALL" and "HALLOWEEN"

move over lil' kim. MC J-O Co0L is darting.

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mom's exciting birthday party extravaganza.

i don't normally buy greeting cards. sometimes i'll look through all 200 available and find nothing *i* want. it's easier to get what i'm looking for in my imagination. so i usually just make them myself, but i was in the drug store the day before mom's 86th birthday and decided to see what i might find card-wise.

the Very 1st card i picked up seemed like such a perfect metaphor for alzheimer's i had to buy it:

score!

now, i ask you. how often do you see that type of symmetry in life?

i also bought a bag of chocolate chip cookies (she loves them), and that was going to be the extent of my gift giving. until i woke up in the morning, that is...

do we dream these things? do our minds reboot and clear the clutter of old data, allowing fresh ideas to germinate while we sleep? whatever.

i woke with a near** brilliant plan. i would go to the grocery store and buy enough cupcakes for all the residents and aides. we're gonna have a cupcake party! (click on pic to drool. and i don't even hardly eat sweets.)

hey wait a sec. i just now noticed there's a chocolate one missing!



on the way over, i stopped and pilferred some crepe myrtle blooms.



and some turk's caps.



mom asked several times, "where did all these flowers come from?" and of course, each time i told her i had brought them. one time i even admitted i'd picked them out of peoples' yards on the way over. later when she -inevitably- asked again, joyce, one of the residents, said, "your son stole them. but i think he makes up stories."

hahahahahahaha. true on both counts, joyce.

at one point i asked mom, "how old are you today?" she tersely said, "i don't have to tell you that," and everyone laughed. but i persisted, just joking around. she thought for a few seconds, trying hard to come up with an honest answer, i think, and finally said with the slightest bit of hesitation, "65?"
i laughed and asked her how old she thought i was. she said she had no idea. i told her, "57, so i guess you had me when you were what? about 8 years old?" this made her laugh.

later on when i wanted to get a picture of her smiling i asked her again, "now how old are you today?" without skipping a beat she responded, "25."

complete and utter laughter ensued.



the aide passing out the cupcakes! asked each resident, "what color do you want?" i thought, "that's odd." i'd have probably asked, "which flavor," or mentioned the choices as being strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, lemon, etc.

mom wanted "pink." joyce wanted "white."
while joe, a very distinguished black man who rarely speaks, was offerred a vanilla one withouthaving been asked. (there were more of those left and the aide probably figured he wouldn't respond to her question, anyway.)

well, i'm here to tell you- joe spoke up. he replied with a sly grin, "no thank you, i'll take black."

one more cool thing about the party:
there are usually just 2 aides and a supervisor at any given time on the floor, but that afternoon there were also several new aides there doin' recon work or something. we got to talking and it turns out that...

2 are from ethiopia, 1 from eritrea (she was delighted i knew where that was), 1 is from nigeria (though she first claimed to be from louisianna), 1 is from dallas, and a nurse, whom i'd invited up from the 1st floor for the party, is from ukraine.
what an awesome melting pot we live in. mom is so lucky to be surrounded by such a caring group of people no matter where in our world they're *from*.

and maybe that explains the chosen semantics of, "what color do you want?"

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** i said "near brilliant idea" because the better idea would have been to take cupcake mix up there and to have made our own. meh.
live and learn, right?

one cupcake at a time...

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dear family, i hope this slide show of all the pictures i took yesterday works. (please come back later if it doesn't.)



ok. looks to me like it *worked* even if it is kinda blurry. lemme know if you wanna see any clear photos.

and a happy cupcake to all.

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mom and rick's excellent adventure

this is mostly for my sister since i'm so bad about calling with updates.


is that really a kangaroo she's touching? oh yeah. but first lemme tell you about the eye exam trip...

we rode in this big ole bus, just the 2 of us. dwayne, the driver, is this remarkably gentle and kind man. mom entered and exited on this lift at the rear of the bus and we sat in the back.

i asked him if he ever worked at the fair and mom giggled like a schoolgirl when i explained i felt like he was helping her on and off of an amusement park ride. he laughed, too.

each time we exited she got up and headed toward the front. very alzheimer's-ish. since she couldn't see her walker she forgot she had one. and she couldn't see the lift so she assumed she should go to the doors she could see. such extreme memory loss like that still amazes me.



she had a great time people watching and street watching while we waited in the dr.'s office. she laughed out loud, and talked a little too loudly, about this father and son who she said looked exactly alike.

she asked a lot of questions about where we were and had she ever been there before. yes to the shopping center. (it was one of her old haunts.) yes to the streets she had traveled dozens of times a week for years and years and years. no to the dr.'s office.

when the dr. asked if she'd ever been there, she said yes. after looking for her records for at least 10 minutes they finally came out and asked me when she'd been there...

the results of the exam were so close to what they read off of her glasses we decided not to get new ones. that's pretty surprising considering it's been 4-5? years since she got this prescription. i learned she'd had cataract surgery (mom's got implants! hahahahaha.) and that she can't see very well out of her left eye because of cataract growth. the dr. agreed that surgery at this time wasn't such a good idea. we talked about how content she seems and quality of life, etc. pretty interesting doctor if you ask me.

then we went next door and they fixed the loose lens and cleaned her glasses. no charge. mom said she could see better and laughed when the technician told her they were covered in hair spray.

while waiting for the bus we went into stein mart. the last time she was there my daughter took her. mom came out of the dressing room without her shirt on and my daughter was mortified. i didn't remind mom of that incident.

waiting outside was so nice. the weather was perfect. in the 70s with a breeze. mom was delighted to be out. it was a good trip.

her triumphant return...(please click and enlarge)


when we got back someone told me they were bringing a kangaroo in about an hour. i wasn't quite sure whether to believe this or not, but i stayed anyway. i'm glad i did.

it's an 8 month old female red kangaroo. about 10 lbs. cute as can be and soft as a llama. and that tail! solid muscle. it will eventually grow to be about 5'2" and 100 lbs. (the kangaroo, not the tail.)


the lady asked if mom wanted to hold it. noooooo. no way.

lots of the old folks did, though. they loved it.



if you put a blanket over her she somersaults into it like she's in her mother's pouch.


if she's not ready for a nap, she pokes her head out. she sat like this, very contentedly for 10-15 minutes. very sweet little critter.







eye exam: $45.45
glasses repair and kangaroo visit: free
total experience: priceless

party on, dudes...
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you silly rebus, you

R.O.T.D.




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aren't you glad i didn't use this one?




awww...did that give it away?




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in other news, it was 99 degrees here today. 25% humidity. and it felt like it.



and mom made me feel...well...proud of her today.

when i was taking her to bible study this afternoon there was a new alzheimer's resident who was balking at going. "but i'm catholic," she said.

i said, "oh, come on. you'll enjoy it. i'm an atheist and i don't think it's so bad."

i thought the lady was gonna faint.

mom just smiled and said to her, "but don't we all read the same bible?"
and the lady said, "well, maybe i'll just go for the company..."

and we did.

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to paraphrase, "we're all created from the same dust." (from somewhere in the 3rd chapter of genesis, i think.)


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A Very Memorable Mother’s Day

yesterday was good. i took mom her mail. there was a card with notes from all 3 of my siblings. her eyes got all misty and she went on and on about how sweet it was. her ability to connect emotionally with them made my heart soar, too.

after a while i gave her the card i made for her. this picture of mom, my sisters and me was on the front. inside i described it for her: taken over 50 years ago, about 10 years before my brother was born, in front of our home on peavy road, she was about 35 years old, etc…

For you Alzheimer’s caregivers, you understand the routine. same for my having labeled us kids on the front. what you may not know, if you haven’t read this blog for long, is the “little oops” reference. the first time I ever heard her call my brother that was less than a year ago when she told a group at vickery towers that she has “3 children and a little oops.” i think the funniest thing about it (really, the only funny thing about it) is that she thinks it’s so funny.

did i mention she actually cried a few tears when she read my note? well, she did. i‘ve maybe seen her cry once before in my life. (it’s kinda personal, so i won’t share the note.) then, in typical alz fashion, she asked (again) if I knew about her calling luke “her little oops.” and of course she never quite figured out what i meant when i told her i made the card.

in her mind…it was just there. 50-year-old family memento and all. So in the moment. (sigh)

mother’s day extravaganza at VT after the jump. be there. or be square…


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so, after the card-opening in her room and all, we went downstairs together for a party the facility put on for mother’s day.

simply put: it was elegant.

the entertainer was a “big band vocalist.” a handsome, young man who sang “the love songs of frank and friends.” (that's him there.)

his brother “played” some sort of digital keyboard/synthesizer that backed him up perfectly.
their mother sat demurely in a chair off to the side.

he began by singing “yooo aaare so beautifuuulll, to meee...” over and over until he’d gone all around the room and personally spoken to, kissed or shaken hands with every single mom there.
at one point in his show, the crooner danced with his own mom. it was…well…i thought it was downright elegant.

each mom also got a carnation and a little gift bag. (i had to confiscate several items from mom’s that are taboo on the Alzheimer’s unit.) even the fake flower arrangements on the tables, that we were encouraged to take with us, were…very nice, if not elegant.

what else?

- we were served champagne.
- coffee and tea were available.
- several resident moms had gotten together and made the richest, most delicious chocolate candies for everyone. they were only the size of a small reese’s, but with 3 or 4 different layers of chocolate. each layer with a different hardness, texture and sweetness. somehow they’d infused the whole thing with a raspberry filling and i’m here to tell you - they were Really good. (and dare i say…elegant?)
- there was a cheese and fruit plate. but get this. the server came around with tongs and a cart and individually loaded each lady’s plate with their personal preferences of grapes, melons, strawberries and several types of cheese.

now you tell me…is that fucking elegant or what?

the whole party lasted 2 hours. about 1 ½ hours into it, something even more unexpected happened. A pizza delivery guy showed up.

this is just weird. Pizza with Champagne? and we’ve already snacked to our hearts’ content? besides, freaking dinner was less than an hour away…as I was looking, with my head already cocked in disbelief, wondering at the 6’ 5”, 240 lb., movie-star-looking guy holding the insulated pizza containers over his head, ** suddenly the music changed. the keyboardist went into a really slow, evocative cadence. as the “delivery” guy set the pizzas down he very slowly took his shirt off...and then his pants...

My God!
you’da thought you were at a bachelorette party for a bunch of horny 20 year old girls rather than in a room full of 70 and 80-somethings! i bet you’ve never heard such hootin’ and hollerin’ and carryin’ on. i’ve for sure never personally seen nor heard anything like it myself.

maybe not so elegant, but it sure as cornbreadhell was fun.

Note: there was only one heart attack. - Jan, the activity director who’d put on the rest of the party, had nothing to do with the stripper part. and she certainly didn't order pizza.

may she rest in peace.

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** from the double asterisk on is completely from my imagination and did NOT happen. (at least not yesterday at VT.) the rest of the story is true in every single detail. including the pizza delivery intended for a private party somewhere else in the building.



and a Happy Mother’s Day to you all.
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birthday party pics

my kids came in town last weekend and we celebrated my 57th birthday together. this is after the incredible meal lara fixed us...

left to right: harold, sean (he's laughing in his plate. not snorting A-1), karen, rick, josephine.


lara on the left...


the lovely josephine and me...


my awesome kids...


sean with his eyes closed and josephine's beautiful smile...


there. that's better...

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it's rebus time!

(don't laugh, but it took me *forever* to make that...)

...so, at mom's today their extracurricular project was a cooking session. and guess what they made?

that's right - PIZZA.

they made it with english muffins, just like you probably made it with your kids - or as a kid. mom was so impressed. she asked for the recipe right after they'd finished making it...duh. linda thought it was so cute that mom wanted the recipe she had to hug her. then she wrote it down for her.
(what linda isn't fully aware of is what a great cook mary anne was back in the day. tomorrow i'll be sure to go on about that. i think we may have found a genuine link to her past that could be exploited as a memory/interest booster.)

"i've never tasted such good pizza," she said.

of course she's had it at VT for a snack several times in the last year, but she's never had a hand in making it before. i wonder if she'll remember any of this tomorrow.

and then...we went to dinner.

see, they're trying to fatten up most of the alz folk and they do snack time immediately before meals pretty often. in fact, one of my favorite people there, Jim, has steadily dropped from 134 lbs to 114 just since december.
luckily mom didn't want hardly any of her dinner of pasta, bread stick and soup with ice cream for desert. i say luckily because she'd just eaten several *slices* of pizza and she definitely doesn't need to be fattened up. besides, i got to eat most of her dinner. and all of her ice cream. hah!

[oh & the rebus?
pete incaviglia, former o.s.u. and texas ranger great (no steroids, thank you very much) and pete rose, former cincinnati red great and all-time mlb hit leader (yeah, i know...but i still love the guy) = PETES.
(ok. the *UH* didn't work out so well.)

PETES + A = PIZZA.]

but you already knew that, didn't you.

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