Crackpottery

I am so angry with someone right now. Her friend passed away today. I understand she is upset and sad… but what the f–k is up with making it be all about her? The friend left behind a tween daughter, who is now an orphan. Who is the bigger concern? Person who lost a friend, or person who lost a mother?

I’ve been unhappy with the negativity of this person for a while now, and had been avoiding talking to her because I didn’t want to say anything mean. She really is a nice person, and has a huge heart, but… EVERYTHING is negative as far as she is concerned. It got to be that whenever I talked to her, I felt drained at the end of the conversation. I thought if I took a break, I’d feel better about it, and would be able to deal with her again. I was pretty much at that point until this… and now I’m so mad about her “all about me-ism” that I don’t know if I want to deal with her any more at all. I feel so terrible for that little parent-less child.

I spent all day yesterday loading CD’s onto the computer so that I could then load them onto an SD card for hubby’s mp3 player. I wasn’t home part of the day today, but when I was, I was listening to music, some new favorites, some old favorites, and some others that hubby has in his collection that I like but haven’t listened to in ages. Of course, I was reading while listening, but that doesn’t lessen the impact of the music. Music enhances reading for me, especially when lucky enough to hit upon something that has the feel of the story. Music also seems to inspire me to want to write. I started jotting down songs today that give me that feeling – I’m going to make myself a playlist one day. Not that it will help, but it couldn’t hurt. 😉

really like happy endings, all beautifully wrapped and tied up in a bow.

That didn’t take long, did it? It’s going to take more effort on my part to remember to come here! Of course, it will help when I’m not so busy and distracted. 😉 (Yeah, those are just excuses, too. No real reason I couldn’t find a few minutes or more to pop in and write a bit!)

I’ve been immersed in the world of Twilight the last couple of weeks. I’ve read the whole series through twice now, the last half of eclipse and all of breaking dawn three times. The books are due back at the library in a couple of weeks. I figure I’ll give them one more read before they go back. I am taking a little break from the books for now. At least, I’m trying to. I have some things I have to get done, and once I start reading, well, that’s pretty much all I do. Hubby keeps teasing me about being a nutter about Twilight. I don’t think it’s true. *shrug* I can’t explain why I like the books so much, I just do. (Maybe they’re full of subliminal messages, ordering me to love them, lol).

Just remembered I hadn’t been here yet today, but I’m getting too tired to write much. It’s been a long day. Not a bad day, just long. Hubby isn’t home from church yet – he hasn’t called to say he’s on his way, but I expect he is, and should be home before too long.

The girls and I had a relatively nice evening. Mostly quiet, watching the cartoon network and working on Princess’s math homework. I’ve been reading since they went to bed. I’m 150 pages into round two of New Moon. Princess was teasing me today about reading it again, but as it is a library book, I figure I’ll read it a couple or few times before they’re due. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a set of my own for my birthday. 🙂

Tomorrow will be another long day, with not much time to myself, as I am helping out with popcorn day at Peanut’s school. I’m hoping that some other parents show up this time (*knock wood!*), so that perhaps it won’t take up so very much of the day.

Okay, I’m going to go back to my book for now.

Back again, for another short entry. At least, I’m fairly certain it will end up being short. Maybe I need to find a “topic of the day.” 😉

I finally got my car back from the shop. Still needs some work, but at least it has both headlights again. That’s something, anyway.

Tomorrow should finally be a “back to normal” day, though I just remembered that Friday I have to go do popcorn day at the school. Going to go run a couple of errands in the morning, maybe. Undecided, really. I guess I’ll see what I feel like when it gets here.

On that note, I’m going to call this entry good. Something is better than nothing, I suppose.

I’m doing a few things at once, so this won’t be a long entry. I just wanted to make sure that I made it here today before I headed off to bed. I really want to try to get myself back on track, and a little more focused. So…

Yeah. Then, I seek out and find “Twilighted.” Fanfic. Lots and lots of Twilight saga fanfic. Very bad for me, in the sense that it will take up time that I might spend other ways. Not sated yet, I guess. Never, ever would have dreamed I’d get so caught up in that world, those characters…

It has been absolutely ages since I’ve posted anything here. Sometimes I’ve felt the urge, but for one reason or another, didn’t take the time or otherwise bother. I’ve been relatively active on facebook, but it isn’t the same. I can’t really speak my mind there (if I were to want to do so) – too many family members as friends, as well as others I wouldn’t necessarily want to share my “innermost thoughts” with.

Oh, of course I’m aware that *here* isn’t exactly the best, either – nothing on the internet is private. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be. This place is just more private than there, and I’ve been thinking that perhaps I should take more advantage of it. I haven’t written much of anything since… well, I can’t really remember since when. Maybe if I can get myself back into the habit of visiting here, I’ll be able to get myself back into the habit of writing on a regular basis. I know I’ll never create a masterpiece of any kind… but those times I’ve truly allowed myself to immerse myself in writing have been so enjoyable… Thing is, I don’t know how to let myself do that anymore. I’ve always had lots of excuses as to why I can’t, enough that I’ve paralyzed myself. I’ve had ideas, wanted to write – but can’t make myself focus on it long enough to get anything out. As soon as that happens, I switch to something else – usually something trite, like wasting time playing facebook applications. That isn’t going to get me anywhere at all! So. My friend told me (well, confirmed for me) that the writing is the thing. Doesn’t matter if it is derivative, doesn’t matter if it is good, doesn’t even matter what it is about, as long as I’m doing it. He offered himself up as a willing… target? I’m getting tired and I’m not quite sure which word I’m looking for there, but either way, I figure I’ll spare him – for now.

On that note, I need to go. Hopefully, I’ll make myself come back soon.

We miss you already, our dear baby harp seal! The family just won’t be the same without you.