Not long enough!

Hi everyone, it’s no secret that life is short, and it feels like too much of that precious time is spent at work. I feel like I barely have enough time to do the things I need to do during the week, let alone the things I want to do.

Between work and daily chores, it seems like the weekend comes and goes in the blink of an eye. As soon as I finish the weekly grocery shopping and other errands, there is barely any time left to enjoy quality time with my family. I believe that this is a sentiment shared by many hardworking individuals who also feel like they are living for the weekend.

It’s frustrating that so much of our time is spent working to make ends meet, with little time left over for relaxation and enjoyment. It’s important to make time for activities that bring us joy and help us unwind, but this can be difficult when the weekends are so short.

I believe that employers should recognise the importance of work-life balance and the need for employees to have adequate time off. This can help to alleviate some of the stress and pressure of modern-day living, and allow individuals to spend more time doing the things they love with the people they care about.

Hopefully, in the future, we can find a better balance between work and play, and create a more fulfilling life for ourselves and those around us. Quite a few companies have trialed and continued with a four day working week. Here’s hoping that I will one day have the opportunity to be one of these individuals.

From Team Leader to Products and Propositions Manager: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Embracing New Challenges

Hi everyone!

As I reflect on my career journey, I cannot help but feel a sense of pride for how far I have come. For over a decade, I was a Team Leader, working tirelessly to manage a team of skilled professionals and steer them towards achieving our organisational goals. However, I decided to take the plunge and transitioned into a new role as a Products and Proposition Manager.

At first, I was excited about the prospect of venturing into new territory, but the excitement quickly turned into anxiety as I realised that I was starting from scratch. I had to learn everything anew and get up to speed with the demands of my new role. The imposter syndrome set in, and I began to doubt if I had made the right decision.

Despite the initial feelings of doubt, I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of my new role. As a Products and Proposition Manager, I have been able to apply the skills I acquired as a Team Leader and even develop new ones. The challenge of developing and launching new products and propositions has been exhilarating, and I have loved every moment of it.

It really helps having an amazing wife backing me and supporting me throughout my career and a manager which cares about my development.

I have realised that the imposter syndrome is just a sign that I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone and expanding my skills. Instead of being intimidated by the challenges, I have embraced them and used them as opportunities to grow and learn.

Now, as I look back on my journey, I realise that my experience as a Team Leader has been invaluable in my current role. The skills I developed in managing a team, delegating responsibilities, and communicating with stakeholders have been crucial.

If you are in a similar position, do not let imposter syndrome hold you back. Embrace the challenge and take it as an opportunity to grow and learn. Remember that every new experience is a chance to acquire new skills and improve yourself.

Social Media Detox!

Hi Everyone!

Over the years, I’ve become increasingly aware of how much time I was spending on social media platforms like Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. It started to feel like an addiction, and I realised that it was causing me more stress and anxiety than I was comfortable with. So I decided to try a social detox.

At first, it was challenging to detach myself from social media. I had a habit of checking my feeds constantly throughout the day, and it felt strange not to have that constant connection to the digital world. But as time went on, I began to notice the benefits of my social detox.

The first thing I noticed was that I had more time for myself and my family. Without the constant distraction of social media, I found that I had more time to pursue my hobbies and interests. I started reading more insightful books, which helped me to grow both personally and professionally. I also discovered interesting articles and blogs that aligned with my interests, and I was able to devote more time to learning about the topics that mattered most to me.

Another benefit of my social detox was that it reduced the frustrations that had built up within me. I had been increasingly annoyed with the negativity and drama on social media, and I found that it was affecting my mental health. By disconnecting from social media, I was able to avoid the triggers that were causing me stress and anxiety. I felt more relaxed and calm, and I was able to focus on the things that brought me joy and fulfillment.

Perhaps the most surprising benefit of my social detox was the impact it had on my sleep. I had not realised how much social media was affecting my sleep patterns until I stopped using it altogether. Without the blue light emitted by electronic devices, my sleep patterns improved significantly. I found that I was sleeping more deeply and waking up feeling more rested than ever before.

Overall, my social detox was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for my mental health and well-being. It allowed me to step back from the constant noise of social media and focus on the things that truly matter to me. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by social media, I highly recommend trying a social detox. It might just change your life for the better.

Ramadan 2023

Hi everyone! I just wanted to share my experience with Ramadan so far. I’m two days into this holy month of fasting, and I’m really enjoying how it aligns with my working pattern. It’s been a bit challenging, but I’m finding ways to make it work for me.

I have to admit, I’m a bit apprehensive about how Ramadan will be after the clocks go forward by an hour. I’m worried that it might disrupt my fasting routine, which could be tough. But I’m trying to stay positive and find ways to manage it.

The hardest part of Ramadan for me is dehydration. It’s tough to go without food or water for so many hours, especially when I have to work during the day. But I’m trying to stay hydrated during the non-fasting hours by drinking plenty of water.

Overall, I’m really grateful for this opportunity to fast and connect with my faith. It’s not always easy, but I’m finding ways to make it work for me. I’m hopeful that this Ramadan will bring me peace, blessings, and spiritual growth.

If you’re fasting, please share your experiences and I hope you find everything you’re looking for during this holy month, insha’Allah.

Respect

Hi everyone, today’s post is about my failure to earn anyone’s respect.

I’m reflecting, and can only conclude that I’m not a pleasant person to be around.

My own family, especially my mother, has no regard for my feelings. I’ve failed to create any form of relevant understanding between us.

My wife, who I love, I fail to keep happy. Through the above issue my wife also doesn’t get on with my side of the family.

However, my family still raised my and gave me a great life. I can’t tolerate them being bad mouthed, even if they bad mouth me behind my back. This causes arguments within my marriage.

The only innocent life that loves me to bits and shows me complete respect is my son who’s just turning 2 years old. Once he grows up a little and changes, I honestly don’t know why I should even bother to continue breathing…

Juggling a Viscous Cycle

Hello everyone, over a year has passed again since my last post!

Let’s talk about life and time. Another year, and some big changes coming. I’m about to embark in a brand new role, which is a massive career shift from the work I’ve become comfortable in doing over the last decade. I’m excited and nervous at the same time.

How did I get here?! Well, it’s been a challenging few years for the World in general. Ranging from a pandemic; wars; unstable government; passing of the Queen; inflation aka cost of living etc. We as a family have and are enduring it all (minus the war – unless you count the fight with my own mood and emotions). I’ve had to work extremely hard, sacrificed a lot of personal time with family and lost sleep through anxiety and stress. I’ve only managed to get through it all with the support from my beautiful wife. Who I’m eternally grateful for standing by my side and supporting with everything and anything.

My son is about to become 2 years old. We’ve been warned about the trouble two’s….tantrums and being unable process emotions are on the rise. He’s just suffered his first chest infection/major illness, which by far is the most stressful thing to deal with as a parent when your helpless child looks at you with help and you have no means of making them feel better (apart from cuddles and kisses).

Working from home is a challenge, and going into the office is a major inconvenience. There is no happy middle ground here.

Where am I going with this post? It’s probably the most unstructured, and messy one yet. This most likely sums up mental state.

The juggling act of trying to manage several direct staff; erratic manager; broken processes; cost of living; loss of time; pandemic; increased needs of child has taken a toll on my mental state and relationship with my wife.

My beautiful wife, someone who I truly love and don’t manage to express my unconditional love for like I did previously. My personal time is consumed with doing mandatory chores, playing with my son, unwelcome visitors or napping. I’m at a loss, and unhappy with the state of my health; finances; ability to remain positive. The one person that deserves the world is the one person I’m letting down….to the point where she has the impression I enjoy work, not realising I put on the fakest smile just to get through each day.

I’m stuck in a viscous cycle that I can’t seem to break free from, no matter how many times I have tried or set intentions to do so. It’s making me and my wife very unhappy. I fear she will end up leaving me…I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.

You’re probably reading this thinking “get your shit together and reprioritise you idiot” – TRUST ME, I’ve tried so many times. However, it ends up feeling like a plaster that falls of after a few days.

I’m hopeful with the new job I will be able restructure my time and life. Start getting some exercise in, some fresh air and start showing more affection again.

Worst case, I’ll be looking back at this thinking what a loser I’ve always been and considering if it’s with continuing with life….

Losing the sense of time!

Hello everyone, I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I posted. Where has the time gone?

Since the pandemic started it quite literally feels like life has paused. On the other hand it feels like time is slipping away at a rapid pace.

So what has happened since I posted back in June 2020? A LOT! I’ve changed my job, twice. I’ve become a father. I’ve purchased a new car. I’m in more debt than I’ve ever been. 

Life is becoming more complicated. On one hand we have been blessed with a beautiful boy who we prayed so much for (it was a difficult journey). On the other hand, we have lost control of our boundaries, which means our marriage is being tested as a result of others who only think about themselves when it comes to being involved in our sons life.

Anxiety is at an all time high and control on our own lives is very limited.

I regularly think about taking drastic steps such as moving far away with my little family just to get some breathing space.

Running is never the solution, but I truly feel trapped at present.

Working from Home

Hello,

It’s been almost a month since my last post. Predominantly, it’s been because of work. So I thought I’ll share my views on how working from home is going.

Firstly, to set the scene, I’ve been working in the financial sector for over a decade now, as a contractor. During this time, my title has been Team Leader, and I’m currently managing a contact centre (this varies project to project).

So, how is working from home going?! Well, it has its pros on cons.

Pros: 2hrs travel time deleted; I get to see my wife’s beautiful face regularly; I get fed well (too well – lockdown belly is a thing!); i can attend to personal emergencies swiftly; its significantly cheaper

Cons: working longer hours, can’t seem to turn off; expectations to get more work completed from various ‘bosses’; email traffic has increased; conference(Teams) calls have increased; ears burn from wearing a headset most of the day; MI demand has increased; lack of social interaction is causing frustrations amongst peers; unable to roll out changes to the team as a group

With the COVID-19 situation, customers have been patient and understanding with the time it takes to get things done WFH. But as lockdown eases, it appears the patience is starting to wear thin.

I’ve sadly started to suffer from anxiety purely due to the significant workload, and negative interactions from the seniors. Everyone becoming agitated, and megatons things are being said. My mind does not seem to rest. It’s come to a point where I struggle to find the motivation to get myself to work (which is just downstairs!), or turn my thoughts off when I try to sleep, eat, or do anything for that matter. I feel distracted most of the time.

It’s become increasingly difficult to find time to complete the routine I created when lockdown began, such as working out, going for walks, and having long catchups with the wife. My mood is definitely spiralling the wrong way.

In a nutshell, I’m not doing great. I feel boxed in, and can’t seem to find my way out of this mess. I’ve tried my best to bring a positive outlook to my days, but it’s a struggle to maintain it longer than a couple of hours. It pains me to say this, but I would have better control of situations working face-to-face, in the office. It’s also difficult as there is no other Team Leader on this current project that I can share my workload, or views with.

I’m in a dire need for a change of direction with my career, which is another catch 22 situation with the current climate. This is another factor I’m dreading after my contract finishes two months time.

The only thing I truly look forward to is the weekends and spending quality time with the wife, even though there is hardly anything we can do at the moment. It’s still better than being sat in front on a screen trying to satisfy everyones expectations.

It’s difficult to say if I’m feeling like this due to WFH, or if I would have the same views if I was completing this project in the office. The technology limitations (or lack of preparation) has certainly increased my workload significantly.

Having said all this, I’m still grateful to have a contract in place for at least until August. As I know people are much worse off situation (my heart goes out to you all).

I pray that everyone finds what they’re looking for. Never give up the fight. The pain is always temporary (or at least that’s what I tell myself to get through each day).

I wish I could end this post with solutions/suggestions on how to manage WFH better. But it feels like I could do with your thoughts instead.

Stay safe everyone.

VE Day Celebrations (75 years)

Well, where do I begin with this one…?!

It’s no doubt that the planned celebrations this year were going to be huge, as it marked 75th anniversary since WW2 ended.

Big plans were naturally halted as a result of COVID-19/lockdown guidelines.

With good intent, our neighbour a few doors across the street sent leaflets to every household requesting to partake in a street party to celebrate. There was an RSVP section to go along with it.

One day prior to VE Day, we received another flyer, which included names and door numbers of everyone who RSVP’d to partake. I found this embarrassing, as our door number and two others on our side are the only ones who chose not to respond.

Decorations were being put up on almost every house the day prior, or on the morning of VE Day.

Let me address one thing, I fully respect everyone who lost their lives as a result of governments decisions during the war. However, I do not find wasting money on decorating our house with the Union Jack appropriate. We took part in the 2 minutes silence at 11am (for some reason, only 6 of us were out for this?!). But did not take part on the planned picnic/tea/dinner party etc. As Muslims, we are currently fasting for Ramadan, and felt it was inappropriate for us to party, and sit outside in the scorching heat.

We did have friendly interactions with our neighbours in the morning and went for a walk to appreciate everyone’s efforts.

As 5-6pm arrived, every household was out on the street. Blazing music, getting drunk, socialising and DEFINITELY NOT observing the 2meter distancing guidelines.

The same people that make a point to clap for the NHS every Thursday, are the same who ignore guidelines adding strain to the same service/key workers. There were plenty faces who don’t live on the street present at this party, and were stood or sat right next to each other.

I went from feeling embarrassed for not partaking, to thinking these people have no sense. I now feel proud for not putting myself in a harmful situation due to what I can only class as “peer-pressure”. I do wonder what the neighbours think of us for not decorating our house or showing face for the noise, but then again if they came out to show respects at 11am (which in my personal opinion was the key part of the day), they would have been able to see and speak to us.

Stay safe, and do what is right for you and your families. The guidance is there for a reason.

Ramadan Update

Hello,

So I’ve managed to survive the first two days of fasting (just about!).

Let me update.

Day 1
Lucky for me, the first fast landed on a Saturday. As I’m currently working from home (lockdown), which carries it’s own challenges. I was grateful for us starting on a non-working day. This allowed me to have a lie-in, and reduce the number of hours during the fast.

It was nice and straight forward, and was quite a chilled day. All we did was do a weekly shop (which took two hours due to the current restrictions- watch out for a separate rant on this), prep food, play some games and watch telly.

If was 20:30 (end of fast) before we knew it.

Day 2
Now this was a near death experience, or so it felt like it.

Every year during Ramadan, I will have at least one day where I get an excruciating headache. Today happened to be that day.

Similar to day 1, I took advantage and had a lie-in (less than the day before as I need to get info a working week routine for the following day).

However, an hour into my day (around 2pm). My head starting to hurt, I knew it was going to get bad as I had several hours of the fast left. I took my wife for a walk to get some fresh air (taking deep breathes), which really did help. Upon coming back I assisted my wife with food prep (she did majority of it, I only did some chopping). Once I finished chopping, she carried on whist I excused myself to watch some Netflix.

Around 4-5pm. It got extremely bad. I was restless, struggled to breathe, was getting anxious and kept telling my wife that I don’t think I’m going to make it (dramatic much?!). I usually drink 2Litres of water a day. My body wasn’t coping, and dehydration was a massive factor for headache. Those last 4hours felt like days, but as soon as the fast ended and I was able to drink my headache started going fairly rapidly. I find it weird how badly my body copes with this change (I always forget to start prepping in advance by gradually reducing my water intake as Ramadan approaches – oops!).

Anyway, I’ve made it through the first 2 days. am expecting an even more challenging day tomorrow, as not only is my day longer (early rise), but I have to train a full team which will require a lot of talking (mouth is getting dry thinking about this already).

Wish me luck!