Amidst the schedules that scream rest to be taken regularly, how do I find myself recreating, or even writing words of sukoon that feels like wisdom to others. I miss that feeling, that flow of writing I used to have, when I rested well post a surgery , last year.
Now looking back, life is not the same anymore. The mind isn’t calm enough to pour words that feel like therapy nor is chaotic enough to write enough drama. I pause like an amateur, waiting to find her niche. I’m blank. I try to rewire, all in vain.
Oh what’s this new style of juggling with words in my personal blog with no context. What am I even intending to get out of this word playing.
Oh , sorry that I brought you along in a world of mine, where I’m stuck ,trying to find a part of me who wrote better . And you have to see this mediocrity flowing. Maybe that’s what I should do now. Write what I feel. One day at a time. Maybe time will motivate me enough to bring the old aura back. Until then let’s just play with words.
I find myself lucky to be surrounded by women who supports, cheers, and feels every emotions for me. Likewise I would be short in words to describe the woman who came in my life 5 years back , while I was preparing for civil service exams. She welcomed me with a wide and warm smile, and like a fast shooting star, she became very important to me.
Few months back, as we boarded the KSRTC DOUBLE DECKER bus for a City Ride, I was too excited to meet her after a gap. And I knew this could be the one of such last meetings in the near future for me with her.
As the bus moved few kms, rain accompanied us and we had to shift from our seats in the open upper floor to the lower floor.
Then we spoke about a hundred things we missed sharing. She poured her heart out describing what’s happening in her life.I opened my heart about the new found love in my life. As usual, she was all hearing it patiently, making sure, like an elder sister, that I’m not inviting an emotionally unavailable person once again.
As time passed, the rain stopped. We were riding through the airport road, waiting to get a glimpse of a take off. And as a plane did take off, we all, regardless of age, jumped and cheered and howled. The children in all of us , were happy.
We sat on the upper deck and spoke about life, clicking pictures and catching memories. And somehow it was time to say adieu.
I will forever cherish this bond of friendship, of sisterhood, of womanhood and of companionship that I find in this woman.
As I brush through the words from my current read, that too by the author of my favourite book, I recognize one of my positive qualities . For a person who had spent years in the loop of low self esteem, even slightest realizations is a celebration.
So, let us come to the point. I was talking about my imaginative skills. Whenever I write about a memory or experience or a fantasy story, it is easier to phrase it for me as I tend to feel the same experience in my head while writing about it. I can feel every emotion, taste, fragrance, the warmth and much more as close to the real experience.
Many times, I had seen my imagination power to be a Bane, as it is often difficult for me to erase traumatic experiences from my mind as they stay as pictured memories in my head.
But that’s how world works, I guess. And in my world, I am working on making my Bane to more of a boon , all at my pace. Little bit of darkness might stay back at the end of the transformation, but that is okay.
What’s a delicious biriyani without few ilaichis in it.
Love has always been an elusive dream for me, slipping through my fingers just as I thought I had grasped it. Time and again, I have laid my heart bare, offering it with the purest intentions, only to see it placed in hands that neither valued nor nurtured it. Instead of gentle care, it was met with indifference, recklessness, and, at times, outright cruelty. With no remorse, they shattered it into countless pieces, leaving me to pick them up alone, some fragments scattered so far that I wondered if I would ever be whole again.
Rebuilding myself was no easy task. Each shard I retrieved carried memories of pain, but also lessons—lessons of resilience, self-worth, and the quiet strength that comes with healing. I stitched my heart back together, not in its original form, but in a way that made it stronger, wiser, and more discerning. The scars remain, a testament to what I have endured, but they no longer define me.
And now, against all odds, I have found a love unlike any before. A love that does not demand or diminish but soothes my soul in ways I never knew possible. In this presence, I feel safe—not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I no longer feel the need to shrink myself or mold my essence to fit someone else’s expectations. I am embraced as I am, with all my complexities, dreams, and vulnerabilities.
For the first time, love is not a battlefield where I fight to be seen or understood. It is a sanctuary, a home where my heart can finally rest.
As 2024 comes to an end, I’ve been reflecting on everything this year has brought. It’s been a year full of growth, challenges, and accomplishments—both personal and professional.
A huge highlight was completing the 100-day writing challenge. It wasn’t easy, especially with recovering from surgery, but pushing through really showed me how powerful consistency and determination can be. My content writing internship at EARTH5R also stands out. It made me realize how much I love writing and want to pursue it more.
Professionally, I took some big steps. Every application, whether successful or not, taught me more about where I want to go next and how I can continue growing in my career. Finally ended up in a career path that supported my passion and skills.
Travel has been such an important part of this year too. My solo trip to Munnar was one of the best decisions I made—totally unplanned, but it helped me recharge and reconnect with myself. Watching the sunset, exploring the Tea Museum, and chatting with fellow travelers were all little moments that made me appreciate the importance of slowing down and enjoying the journey. My trips to Coorg and Wayanad were also unforgettable. Coorg’s coffee plantations and misty hills gave me the perfect escape, while Wayanad’s waterfalls and misty cold hills brought me closer to nature and helped me find some inner peace.
As a Piscean, I’ve felt deeply connected to water and nature this year. Those peaceful moments really helped me stay grounded and balanced, especially with everything else going on. Looking ahead to 2025, I’m excited to keep growing, embracing new opportunities, and exploring what the future holds.
This year has also been about the connections I’ve made. I’m so grateful for the new friendships I’ve formed—whether through my travels to Munnar, Coorg, or Wayanad, meeting like-minded people has been one of the best parts of the year. There’s something special about sharing stories, laughter, and experiences with others, even if it’s just for a brief time.
But it’s not just about new friendships. I’ve worked hard to nurture the old ones too. These long-term relationships have been my constant source of support and joy. They’ve reminded me of where I come from and who’s always got my back. Whether through random check-ins or deep conversations, I’ve learned that maintaining these bonds takes effort, but it’s always worth it.
And, of course, there’s the love I’ve experienced this year. It’s been a grounding force that’s helped me stay focused and motivated. so grateful for the love and support I’ve received from you, my love, and I can’t wait to see where we go in the new year.
As we step into 2025, I’m excited to continue growing in all areas of my life—career, friendships, love, and personal development. Here’s to embracing what’s next with an open heart and mind!
Woke up pretty early on my day 2 at Munnar. Freshened up and sat on the balcony of my room, watching the sun rays fall, one hill after another. Had an early, tummy-filling breakfast and took a walk to the rooftop one last time to enjoy the view. There were some fellow Zostellers there, who had come to click some pictures. The introvert in me couldn’t speak a word to them.
As the time for checkout was nearing, I went back to my room, took a hot water bath, and packed everything to bid adieu to Zostel. I had found another stay to stick around until my bus in the evening.
As I reached the main road, I found a small shop selling basics and some snacks. Since they spoke Tamil, I asked for directions to the Tea Museum with the little bit of Tamil I knew. They were pretty happy with my Tamil, and it made me happy too.
From there, I got an auto to the Tea Museum, roamed inside, watched a documentary, and saw a demo about tea production. I ended the visit with some shopping and a cup of tea. The auto driver dropped me back at my new stay, where I checked in and went for a hungry attack on lunch and a sip of coffee.
The ride to Gap Road was the highlight of the day. My mouth opened wide and my eyes gleamed in awe of the beauty around me.
At the end of the ride, I experienced drizzling weather at Anayirangal Dam, but I couldn’t stay long because a movie shoot was going on. The ride was special, with a sip of tea while watching the sunset among the clouds that almost covered the sun, diminishing its charm. But nature is mesmerizing.
Little did I know how fast time passed, and finally, it was time to leave Munnar. As I boarded the bus to Trivandrum, a gush of memories and emotions came over me, and I felt content to have completed another trip.
It’s been a while. The creative handle was deserted. My mind palace couldn’t weave words into blogs for some time. Maybe I should just start and let the writing take its course.
So, one more bucket list item completed—a solo trip to Munnar, a hill station I had never visited before. The trip was completely unplanned, except for booking the tickets in advance and listing a few key places to visit. I had no fixed plans for two days. All I knew was that I would check in to Zostel, Munnar, and decide the itinerary as I went along.
Maybe that was exactly how I wanted it—just to relax, with no stress of deadlines or detailed plans.
After visiting Guruvayoor with my family, I boarded a train to Aluva, where I caught a bus to Munnar. The ride through the fog-covered hills was mesmerizing. I sat there in awe, occasionally taking pictures of the stunning views and dozing off in the cool, breezy weather.
When I finally arrived, I grabbed an auto to Zostel. After checking in, I settled in comfortably and enjoyed a delicious breakfast and spent time in the hostel’s common area. The balcony of my room offered incredible views of Munnar’s rolling hills, a serene landscape that stretched far into the distance.
After a satisfying lunch, I took a short nap and prepared for my first adventure. Since the Attukadu Waterfalls were only 3-4 km away, I decided to visit them first. The steep climb from Zostel to the main road seemed daunting, so I hired an auto to take me there. The driver was friendly and explained how I could easily find a ride back.
After spending some time gazing at the rushing waters and feeling an immense sense of peace , my eyes went for the small tea shop beside the waterfalls. The shop owner chechi greeted me with a smile and I ordered “Oru Chaaya” .
While the tea arrived, I sat beside the rails of the rooftop of the shop and looked at the waterfalls from a different view and sipping tea from there felt surreal. Slowly I bid adieu to the place and hopped on to a shared auto for my return trip.
I entered the restaurant at the hostel and ordered some chai again with some onion pakora, savouring them slowly while looking at the hills in front. Post that, I went up to the common area at the rooftop , enjoyed the increasing mist, clicked some pictures and then wrote my journal and some poems. The day slowly ended with a light dinner and a peaceful sleep.
It’s been a while since I blogged something. It’s not that nothing was worth writing. The mind palace wasn’t ready to pour out words even in happiness.
My mind got stuck in the loopholes of daily routine and life so much that I forgot to take a pause and reflect on. Even now I’m uncertain what I’m going to write about.
As far as writing is concerned, it has been my companion since childhood. It has saved me in despair, encouraged me in enthusiasm , watered me in growth and reflected my thoughts even in uncertainty.
From poems and short stories to travelogues and journals, writing has been that strong grip I find on the pen of my journey in life. To whoever gets stuck with life, I would recommend you to just scribble whatever your thoughts are. Even if it doesn’t yield any solution, it would make you feel lighter and clearer.
Life definitely is uncertain and so are your decisions and actions. Let’s make a small excerpt of those experiences through a pen and paper. If your life doesn’t give you content, let’s make fantasies turn into reality through one’s words.
“No strangers here; only friends you haven’t yet met.” – William Butler Yeats
This quote rings true for all the memories I made during those three days in 900 Kandi, Wayanad. The amazing people I met, the companions I made, and the memories I cherished were all marvellous.
Day 2 ended in the best way possible. We helped the chef prepare items for dinner. We danced, we sang, we cut veggies, but most importantly, we had fun—the best kind of fun from the last two days.
The camaraderie we felt, huddled together in the cozy weather, was palpable. It was an exhilarating experience, one that left us with a sense of connection and joy that only such spontaneous, shared moments can bring.
Dinner was finally ready. Afterward, we gathered around a campfire, feeling the warmth against the cool, crisp air of 900 Kandi. The fire illuminated our faces as we shared stories, laughter, and songs under a cloudy sky.
And sleep arrived soon after.
The next day, I woke at dawn, the world still wrapped in the soft embrace of early morning. I walked along the winding trail from the campsite to the main building, accompanied by the chorus of insects. As I reached the verandah, the morning mist began to lift, revealing the far hill. I settled into a chair, a steaming cup of black tea in hand, and let the tranquility of the moment wash over me. There, with the serene landscape as my muse, I penned my final poem of the trip.
As we woke up and prepared for our final day, we divided into groups. Most of us decided to visit the nearby glass bridge and adventure park, while few headed to the stream for a refreshing bath and a peaceful meditation session. The walk at the glass bridge felt like a walk to heaven for me, grasping the misty view my eyes saw.
After breakfast, the reality of our trip’s end began to sink in. Our three days of adventure and cherished moments were coming to a close. We exchanged words of appreciation to each other, exchanged numbers, and finally we gathered together, bidding a heartfelt farewell to the beautiful place and the wonderful hosts of the Suelo Tribe.
Last weekend was truly unforgettable. Camping amidst the hills, with rain showers adding to the drama, was a mesmerizing experience. The collective energy of everyone, Sana and her team’s impeccable trip coordination, the ever-changing weather, the delicious food, the charm of tent camping, and the thrill of waterfall trekking all combined to create a surreal adventure.
Though the cold did take a toll on my health, I’ve fallen in love with the hills and mountains. I look forward to exploring more and hopefully revisiting this enchanting place. I am deeply grateful for those three extraordinary days.
Despite the rain, we set out in our ponchos to trek up a waterfall. Before each stage of the waterfall and stream, I wondered if it would be possible to climb them. But with the right support and guidance from the guys of Suelo Tribe, it became easier. The happiness of reaching the last point and sitting there beside the falls with everyone else was surreal.
In the rain, with the splash of the falls, we sang our favorite classic songs and made the vibe more colorful.What a way to start the day.
As soon as we returned and freshened up, our breakfast was ready. The taste of the puttu and payar, along with chicken curry gravy, is still at the tip of my tongue.
After breakfast and some relaxation, we were joined by national-level Wushu player Shabnam for a 3-hour self-defense class. The moves, kicks, punches, and techniques taught by her were really insightful. It made most of us think about building our self-confidence by practicing regularly, as well as engaging in physical activities or exercise to enhance our strength and flexibility.
Later on, the hungry birds in us delved into delicious Kerala meals and indulged in some post-lunch conversations. As we relaxed, we were joined by a successful lady wedding photographer , Pardha Fatima, for a basic class on photography, vlogging, and influencer marketing. For me, this was the best and most useful session. I keenly learned the basics as explained by her. It is definitely going to help me in my blogging, as well as in setting up my dental blog and Instagram page in a better way.
We thought we could relax after this session, but we were immediately taken to an artistic session afterward. In groups of two, one-third of us engaged in spontaneous canvas painting, taking turns to paint. This was an amazing experience, and the final painting made us feel content and proud of ourselves. Each of us enjoyed it. Meanwhile, in the background, others engaged in face painting and clay modeling sessions. What a team bonding experience it was altogether.
It ended with piping hot chai and delicious, crispy pakoras while gazing into the wild where the rain was approaching.
I will be Diving into the later parts of Day 2 and Day 3 events in my next blog.
CURIOUS LOGOPHILE 