16/06 – MCQs
21/06 – Written exam and viva
22/06 – SPA interview following my future profession in Ministry of Health
23-26/06 – packing
27/06 – Family arrival
30/06 – Graduation ceremony
1-2/07 – St Petersburg
04/07- Depart to Cairo
5-7/07 – Holiday in Cairo with family
8/07 – MALAYSIA for gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
11
Jun
10
My agendas so far.
06
Jun
10
Mommy in RTM
This is mommy and her work. Although at times I think she’s being treated unfairly by her superiors,stepped-on by those closed to her just to get to the top, she remains the same strong mommy I have for the past 25 years. I really really hope all her hard work would be paid off in the end, although not now. I have seen her suffered enough and now rather than just claiming to give her the financial aid for her research, I hope her superiors would recognize her more than that and give her what she deserves..
She’s flying to Barcelona tomorrow for more paper presentation on her research again. Somehow she never give up.
Love you mommy for being an inspiration and a best friend…
Salam.
Was a peaceful getaway, now I’m back in Moscow with a LOT to study for exams. I miss the countryside..
Anyway, I thought about writing a few on the visit, but now that we all got shooked by the sudden news about SPA interviewing, I no longer have any mood to write anything. Just want to study for now…really just study.
The photos above are not fully uploaded because I have a lot of things on my diary.
Chow.
Wassalam.
P/s: Lets pray for humanity and lets hope Israel cease their idiotic actions. May Allah help us against them. Prof Ikram (Specialist Anesthesiologist) who used to work in MERCY relief in GAZA once told us that a lot of miracles have happened in the GAZA strip..including the white soldiers fighting against the Israel soldiers, were seen by 2 Israelian soldiers who got injured within the GAZA strip who then reported to the palestinian doctor who happen to unbiasedly treat their wound. Seems rather off beat, but miracles can happen. Amin amin amin…
23
May
10
40 days
check this out..raw photo-shoot by Layla Tumaisuri,
she was recently awarded the best photographer in RSMU.
40 days and counting. This nightmare would be over. For real! 6 years and no less. I have like a 1001 plans for my future, which sadly involve only around my future work. I talked to seniors about it. 36 hours non stop working sounds like a great deal. If I could pull that off for straight 2 years, then I might able to pull anything off (I will avoid intestines and kidneys of course). I’m seeing endless nights and lonely hospital corridors.
Wasn’t all that lonely in the labor room though. With adorable babies crying their gut out..awww..isk..sooo touched..tsk..not that I want any..yet. The difference you should know between attending labor as an observer and as an intern is huge. When you’re a student you stand at one corner you watch and give support, when it’s all over, you get to go and ‘attend’ the baby (which is what everybody would be looking forward to) whilst a HO would be sweating about to get the babies out and when it’s done, they CAN’T attend the cute little pumpkins, they got a lot of ‘sewing’ to do. Oh god. How painful would it be huh.
I sold all my stuffs yesterday, well, almost. We ended up giving more and more stuffs away. LOL.
Today is kinda bright and sunny outside.great for..’picnics’.Well, the weather never disappoint us nowadays..Well.. Unless you leash out your friends on it you might get the weather to..err..rain? God bless.You can’t have it all.
See you next time I’m bored 😉
p/s: the last entry was..rather..reflective yes, and rather emotional. Just don’t judge..lol.
Sometimes, I feel useless. I feel that there would come a time when I will be put down..over and over again. I am scared. Of making big decisions, which lead me to feel isolated. I want to be a part of them yet I’m too scared..too scared of the risk. The time would come but I still feel so..intimidated. I feel so worthless..so demotivated. I hate this internal conflict. I hate that I have to have headache thinking about my future. I thought everything would be fine, but sometimes I really can’t help feeling worthless.
Maybe I think too much. But if I don’t think for myself..who else would?
My dream used to be something I reach out for so hard..now I think it’s weighing me down..
Had our Massad Grand Annual Dinner. I just dont feel like writing about it.
10
May
10
Its May and Victory
Victory day was yesterday. 9th May marked as public holiday as Victory Day for Russia. Yesterday we went for some Dunkin Donuts in Arbatskaya and chill at Starbucks. Yeah. I know. Starbucks. You ever felt guilty but you kinda go through with it because you don’t want people to think you’re an extremist? Yeah. That kinda feeling. Star=jewish logo. Bucks= money. Starbucks= money for jewish. OK. I’m not gonna elaborate more because I would feel bad later on…and it’s sunny today.(not that it has anything to do with my emotional status but wutever). But heyy the donuts were just yummy. Russia is starting to have all these western fast-food bakeries now like Dunkin Donuts and the Cinnabon. It’s kinda a big deal when we students found out about it, we would flip out and just find that extra time to go and have some..sbb dah lama x makan seolah2. poyo je.
Chilling in Arbat walk-through is just amazing. We found this nice spot outside of Starbucks. We tapau some dunkin donuts to eat there lol. Sux they dont have any frapucino left just the fruity ones. We ended up ordering Mango frapucino, which is ok la. It was really hot yesterday. The weather is hot and dry, gosh..a bit irritating as well. I ended up forcing myself to wear the hideous sunglass (sorry baba..haha..he bought it when we walk in the sun, he’s kinda understanding although he is a bit painful lol..i miss my dad).
Later we decided to go to the Victory Park. Maz bought tulips to give to the veterans (we can see those old folks with badges) but apparently these people are not that friendly at all. Gosh. Talk about true colors of Russians..isk. Nevermind. But we had a great time out yesterday. I’m sure guys really would enjoy the ‘views’ lol. Even I was thrown off by these hot Russian chics with their things hangin about..(LOL). Wutever.
Anyway,thats all. Pics are as below:
23
Apr
10
Donations dilema.
Heylo folks. I cant believe I’ve been really loyal to wordpress. SO not me. I’ve been blogging with xanga like ever since I’m 15..and everytime I make a new blog, I would return to xanga and write there. LOL. I guess it’s true that xanga IS really dead.
I woke up and my inbox is filled with a lot of comments (debates) on the issue of donations. The story went like this: there’s a group of girls stuck in one of the european country and a PPIM of a place tried to get in some urgent donations (derma kilat? apekah HAHA) just to get through the transportation. I think they need like 200euro cash each or something. And there’s this specialist I think or post grad uncle keep bashing them for being responsible to encourage beggary (is that even a word?). Gosh. I felt like giving a smack on his face and tell him to sodd off. If you dont want to donate then just shut up about it already. Susah betul dgn orang cakap lebat ni. (I learn this new malay word called ‘cakap lebat’ from my malay friends here. It means ‘too much talking’). And he can give all the annotations in the quran about Islam not permitting beggary and have to make own income and what not..but they are flippin stuck right now. He didnt expect those girls have to start singing in europe to earn money does he? or what? wash cars and dishes? Get real. Oh god.He hasn’t come up with a solution either. It’s just appauling.
So note to myself. Once I become successful, don’t be so stingy and stop complaining. Kecoh la.
huhu..emo tak?
18
Apr
10
Lost.Confused.
Every weekend I will be inspired by my sisters, or I can say my family. Without them, I dont feel I would feel inspired to do anything.
Enough of the pep talk. I’m just so confuse! I wanted to be a good muslimah but at the same time I do not want to lose the ‘worldly’ existence in my life. I feel like it’s hard to NOT to divide between the hereafter and the dunya. It’s just so hard. It is!
Specifically speaking, in terms of having a relationship with another person. This is VERY wrong right from the start. YET, it’s hard for me to back out. It’s not hard to back out, more like I DONT want to back out. Today was the hardest time for me in usrah, I suddenly felt this huge burden I have to carry, until the day I officially tie the knot. A sister reminded us about the hukm of being in a couple is haram.For a muslim, there is no such thing as being in a couple with the opposite sex. It SHOULD not happen. But yet I lost. In Malaysia, it is ‘normal’ to be in a relationship with person of opposite sex, because I think our ‘culture’ are somewhere in between the west and the east. It’s the ‘midway’ as people would say it.
I think I tried and have improved in the hijab and dressing department although not perfect…But this is a different matter..
My usrah sister mentioned when it comes to a relationship between a man and a woman,it is either all (marriage) or nothing. How could I do this without hurting anybody? I’ve hurt people in the past, I really don’t want to do it again. And I don’t want to lose him. Because I know he is the most suitable candidate for me, the one who could bear my nonsenses without ever being tired of me..
I want to make it right, but I dont want to lose what I have…=S
Just wanna cry. Because I dont know who to turn to………..I only can write with this huge lump in my throat..
Haram-haramkah aku
Bila hatiku jatuh cinta
Tuhan pegangi hatiku
Biar aku tak jadi melanggar
Aku cinta pada dirinya
Cinta pada pandang pertama
Sifat manusia ada padaku
Aku bukan Tuhan
*
Haram-haramkah aku
Bila aku terus menantinya
Biar waktu berakhir
Bumi dan langit berantakan
**
Aku tetap ingin dirinya
Tak mungkin aku berdusta
Hanya Tuhan yang bisa jadikan
Yang tak mungkin menjadi mungkin
Reff:
Aku hanya ingin cinta yang halal
Di mata dunia juga akhirat
Biar aku sepi aku hampa aku basi
Tuhan sayang aku
Aku hanya ingin cinta yang halal
Dengan dia tentu atas ijinNya
Ketika cinta bertasbih
Tuhan beri aku cinta
Ku menanti cinta…
😥
15
Apr
10
Kun Rajulan
“Rijal itu ialah mereka yang mampu berdiri untuk dirinya sendiri dan mampu berdiri untuk orang lain” (al-muhandis)
Bila keadaan tidak seindah yang kita impikan, adakah hanya berdiam diri menjadi pilihan?
Nah, lihatlah ke depan,
kiri dan kanan
mungkin saja ada yang mahu menyambut huluran tangan
tapi mana mungkin ada yang mahu menjadi teman andai tanganmu kau sembunyikan.
lalu apa yang perlu kau lakukan…
fikrahmu, zahirkan!
hatimu, bersihkan!
langkahmu, panjangkan!
ikatan dengan Tuhanmu, kuatkan!
Malamnya, kun ruhban!
dan siangnya, kun fursan!
Ayuh, kun rajulan!
kun=jadi
kun ruhban = jadi rahib
kun fursan= jadi panglima
kun rajulan= jadilah rijal
rijal=anak jantan
malamnya, jadi rahib, siangnya jadi panglima, ayuh, jadilah anak jantan!
24
Mar
10
tibi itu tuberculosis
I was so enthusiastic about writing a piece on tuberculosis, since I’m in my TB rotation this week. But as I wrote the first sentence.. “tuberculosis is a dangerous disease”, I thought, sod it, I’m not gonna get formal. It’s such a drag.
Malays call them tibi. We call it tuberculosis. Same thing. It’s an infection (meaning you have microorganism break through into your body..sort of..causing fever and stuffs). TB is a serious disease. The air you breath may have droplets with the bacteria in them! My lecturer cakap even lets say ada tb bakteria melekat pada coat, when we libas2 the baju,then the habuk with tb bole masuk saluran nafas orang lain and that person will be infected. So basically we never know what will hit us. Lets pray that we are always protected from such incident..Nauzubillah..
I have a friend once who got infected with TB. He’s a great student. Kalau tak silap, whilst doing his A-Level exam paper, he coughed blood. I think this was the first time he coughed blood, because before that he was just coughing normally like you n me. I think it started off a few weeks before that when he went out with his friend to try the shisha experience. He may have gotten infected then. He has no history of smoking or whatsoever, generally very healthy. And maybe, very curious =P.
As everybody was preparing to ‘fly’ overseas to further their studies, when he got sent to the hospital for screening, tuberculin skin test may have been carried out, with xrays revealing ‘zatemneniye'(this word is in russian btw, im not sure whats in english..maybe ‘shadowing’?) in some part of his lung. His tests show positive for tb,sadly.
He had to spend a year off to undergo treatment. So basically he is not allowed to leave the country! Treatment for tb usually takes 6 months. I think he may have experienced painful moment having to deal with the fact that he cannot proceed studying oversea at the time. But nevertheless, he recovered and he was sponsored to ‘fly’ the very next year to a well known European country.
Of course there are more to this..the above is just random stuff coming out of my hand whilst typing. As medical students we should be able to identify whether it is tb, or other diseases like tumor or pneumonia. and apparently there are classifications too under each judgment. so if its a round focus on the xray we have to find how many diseases could lead to round stuffs in your lungs..(laymanly speaking..lol)..and many many more..(hey its great that you are reading until this paragraph!LOL)
this xray shows pneumonia with abcess btw, not tb..
I forgot to mention he excel straight As in his A-Levels and he got offer to study medicine..not in moscow but in UK!!! Gile kan?
SO>>> the moral of the story is..don’t give up.OK ALAN? although your nose is blocked and you keep coughing like there’s no tommorow, but the reality is..you still have tommorow..and tommorow you need to prepare studying X-rays.
now continue reading your bookla weiiiiii!
edit: kamu boleh membaca perihal tibi di sini.
CYNICALMD 