If anyone is wondering why I haven’t posted in a while, it’s because I’m still developing a new story! Three If by Broomstick is a comedy set during the American Revolutionary War, and it stars a misfit newcomer who has to save a gossipy town from a witch sent by a traitor who favors the British! It’s a slower process with this one because I’m working at a temporary job at a tax place now, and I don’t have as much time to write. I make sure to do at least 15 minutes a day though, so it’s still chugging along! I’ll post the first chapter as soon as it’s ready! Stay tuned!
New Trouble, Chapter 38
“Go see what it is!” Halorykta ordered Petroruxei’o.
“What? Why me? What did I do?” Petroruxei’o objected. Halorykta gave him an apprising look, and then he recalled, “Oh, right!”
He bounded down the stairs, and Sam stated, “I’m actually rather glad that we’re in this enclosure since it puts a barrier between us and whatever monster we may encounter!”
Beck pointed out, “Unless it’s a huge, strong monster- then we’re sitting ducks!” My besties and I concurred with that, but prior to any of us speculating on that any further…
“You should go back!” Petroruxei’o advised someone.
”Why? What’s wrong?” a muffled voice asked.
Petroruxei’o answered, “Thanks for asking! I woke up with a cramp in my stomach! You’d think I wouldn’t have to deal with such things since I’m a god and not technically living, but it’s worth the pain in order to feel pleasure…”
Halorykta barked, “Petroruxei’o! Who are you blabbering your life story to?’
“Seriously! You should leave! My wife is on a rampage!” Petroruxei’o again advised the muffled voice. “If you think Earth women are a handful when they’re PMSing…”
“I’m not leaving ‘til I know everyone is safe!” the muffled voice declared. They ran up the steps, and…
My heart beat wildly to see him again! I rejoiced, “Luke!” Luke smiled at me, and I smiled back until I espied Halorykta’s curious stare. I was heartbroken to do so, but I couldn’t have him anywhere near her if I wanted humanity to continue, so I directed him, “Petroruxei’o is right, you gotta get out of here! You’re the key to Pandora’s Box, and she’s gonna use you to destroy the planet!”
Halorykta corrected me, “He’s not the key!”
“He’s not?” I puzzled.
“No!” Halorykta confirmed. “Are you serious? If the key just walked right into my lap like that, I would’ve grabbed it and used it by now!”
Sally surmised, “Ah, so the key is a living thing?”
Halorykta reminded her, “I’m not telling you until you agree to give it up! Interested?”
“Not that much!” Sally refused.
“Wait, that’s why you kept rejecting me?” Luke quizzed me.
I was elated for a chance to explain my behavior to him, and I gladly spilled my guts to Luke, “Yes! And, no! Oh, Luke! I spent my whole life getting told that true love doesn’t exist, so when my feelings for you grew deep, a part of me wanted to believe that to protect myself from getting hurt by delusion! It just seemed too good to be true to have found someone who makes me so happy! I’m so sorry!”
Luke filled me in, “Don’t apologize! I went looking for you ‘cause I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry! Actually, my mom heard what happened, and she wouldn’t let me out of her sight ‘til I found you! I…” He studied our surroundings, and then he suggested, “Let’s discuss this after I get you out of here! She probably didn’t anticipate having someone arriving in time to free you!” He chuckled as he reached for the cage’s door.
Preceding him unlatching the lock, Halorykta magicked him inside of the cage! “Don’t assume you can outsmart me, motal!” she seethed.
“Sorry, I tried!” Luke breathily broadcasted to us as he got situated between Beck and Sam.
“How much longer do we gotta do this?” Sally inquired in a strained tone.
Halorykta replied, “Until it stops being funny to me!” She spotted her crow in the mix, and she hollered, “What are you doing in there? Why are you sticking to them?” Halorykta struggled to get the bird out, and she griped, “What’s wrong with you? It’s like you’re under a confusion spell!”
She had a realization, and then she glared at Petroruxei’o. Petroruxei’o shifted guiltily and defended himself, “It’s the only way I could have saved them from the Fantasma Ailouros!”
“You’ve been helping them?” Halorykta roared.
“Why?” Beck petitioned him. “I mean, we appreciate it, dude, but aren’t you on her side?”
Halorykta became so angry that her visage turned red! She vociferated, “Mortals ruin everything! I need to get rid of them now! I may not have the key to Pandora’s Box, but I can do it on my own! How shall I do it? Did I already unleash the Aericas onto Earth?”
The situation was so ridiculous that I had to speak up! “Oh, as if! You’re really gonna wipe out all of humanity just ‘cause your husband had an affair with my great, great grandma a hundred years ago?”
Luke, Sally, Sam, and Beck all gawked at me in astonishment, and then they turned to Halorykta for confirmation. Halorykta folded her arms and pouted, “How would you feel if your spouse were unfaithful after they vowed to spend an eternity together?”
“I didn’t realize an eternity would be so long!” Petroruxei’o lamented. “You hardly had time for me, and when I met Hecate, I felt loved and cared for!”
“Love and caring?” Halorykta scoffed. “You can get that from a puppy! You felt something else, and that feeling got an Earth woman pregnant!”
That came as news to me! “Wait, you’re my great, great grandfather?”
Not making eye contact with Halorykta’s glowering face, Petroruxei’o certified this, “Yes! I couldn’t marry her since I already bound myself to someone else forever, and single motherhood wasn’t socially acceptable in that period, so she hurried to find someone else to marry her, and I never saw her again!”
“Wow! So, I’m a goddess?” I became dumbfounded at the very notion.
“No, even a drop of mortal blood taints the celestial status,” Petroruxei’o informed me. “Don’t be so disappointed- deity life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!”
Halorykta scowled at him. “Pretty soon, you’ll have no other option but to stay here with me! The mortal realm will be destroyed, and then what will you do? Try to have another affair with a mermaid? Remember, they don’t have human legs!”
I admonished her, “You’re really gonna evoke the apocalypse rather than work on your marital problems?”
“When you say it like that, you make it sound idiotic!” Halorykta sulked.
“Come on, dear!” Petroruxei’o urged her. “I’d be willing to give it a try if you’ll join me!”
Halorykta gazed into his pleading eyes, and she relented, “Oh, alright! I’ll give it a try, too! But, if it doesn’t work, I’ll end the world in another century!”
They hugged each other, and it was sweet to watch, but… “Um… Can we go now?” Sally requested.
“Oh, sure!” Halorykta used a jinx to take out the bottom of the cage.
“Ouch!” Sam yelled out as we landed in a heap on the floor.
As soon as my eyes met Luke’s, I recognized that we got another chance to be together! With nothing holding me back any longer, I fell into his arms, and I gave him a passionate kiss! I was lighter than air to be in this embrace! It was like I found where I belonged, and I was so elated that I forgot where I was! Or, at least I did until…
Halorykta screeched, “Get out!”
Hand in hand, Luke and I led the others to the smelly bathroom. Apparently, the cacophony we heard earlier was Luke knocking over the chamber pot! We went inside of the mirror door, and we landed in the basement of the Hecate House! Sam exclaimed, “Great Scotty! That was just like the transporter in Star Trek! I never thought I’d live long enough to experience that! Let’s do it again!” Sam mulled that over for a moment, and then he reconsidered, “Oh, right! Never mind!”
“It’s just too bad we never found out what the key to Pandora’s Box was!” Sally remarked.
“Oh, that reminds me!” Beck remembered something. “When I was installing wire in these walls, a small tin box fell out! It was full of love letters, but it had an old-fashioned key too! It looked pretty cool, so I put it in my pocket to give it to you later, Penny, but Belle put it on my work’s key ring when she did the laundry. I can give it to you… Where are my pants? Oh, crap! How am I gonna get back to the police station like this?”
Luke volunteered, “I’ll get you there! I can get all you guys to work, and then Penny and I can bring the key back here, and… Then what?” He glimpsed at us ponderously.
No one had a good answer for that. Now that we were fairly certain what the key was, our task to protect it became more real. Oh sure, Halorykta agreed to relinquish her apocalyptic quest, but if she and her husband couldn’t patch things up with each other, then this supernatural saga could easily resume! And, if they lived happily ever after, then there was always the possibility that some other entity could go after it! It was a daunting prospect, and nobody knew what to do about it, which prompted Sam to query, “So, is this predicament over or not?”
We all shrugged, and after a weighty minute, I decreed, “We’ll figure that out later! For now, let’s just focus on what you guys can tell your bosses about why you disappeared, and then Luke and I can come back to the Hecate House to christen it properly!”
“I suppose I can swing by a liquor store and pick up some champagne on the way back…” Luke mapped out the route in his head.
“That’s not what I meant!” I strolled up to him and gave him my most Sally-like naughty grin.
When it finally clicked for him what I intended to convey, he grinned back at me. “Oh! That sounds…! I love you so much!”
I returned his sentiments, “I love you, too!”
We smooched again, and I still couldn’t believe my luck in finding someone who could bring this much joy into my life. The way he held me made me believe he couldn’t wait for the “christening” that long, but then he let me know, “We may have to postpone that for a while- we have a visitor here…” Our curiosity piqued, and the five of us headed upstairs.
When we emerged from the basement, we saw Kitty there with a mop and some purple cleaning solution in her hands. She heard us enter into the room, and she swiveled around and greeted me, “Penny, mija! I hope you don’t mind, but I did a little sprucing up! I couldn’t help it, it was filthy in here! Luckily, I keep supplies in my car for such an emergency!”
Kitty ogled Beck in surprise, and Beck apprised her, “I left my clothes at the police station… Don’t ask!”
She gazed at Sam and Sally for explanation, but they gestured in a fashion that suggested they had a lack of knowledge on this transpiration, so she let it go and canvassed Luke and me, “So, did you two make up?”
“We sure did!” Luke merrily told his mom while his arm was wrapped around my waist. “But, these three are late for work, so I gotta get going! Will you two be okay?”
“Of course!” I assured him. I would’ve preferred to have had a couple hours alone with Luke, but I was delighted tospend quality time with my future mother-in-law.
Luke gave me a peck prior to everyone’s departure, and as I resumed polishing the bannister, Kitty conversed, “I had a client this morning, Missus Bravo- she’s over ninety, and the poor thing is losing it, I think! She was telling me that she helped fight some monsters! Can you believe that?”
I was hesitant about how to answer that. “Uh…” There was a knock on the door, and I was grateful to have an excuse to change the topic! To my shock, it was Ned! “Oh, no! Not again, Ned!”
“You set me up with that clingy chick, Libby?” Ned accosted me.
“Yeah…” I was already dreading his reaction to this move, and I sincerely wished I hadn’t dont at first…
Ned started off frowning, but then he smiled and graciously regarded me, “I can’t thank you enough! I’m having a ball!”
I became stunned by this development. “Oh, no worries! Yeah, I totally did that on purpose!”
“We’re going to a Halloween gala at the country club!” Libby announced as she popped up beside him.
“Wonderful! Make sure he doesn’t eat any dairy!” I recommended to her.
Libby agreed, and Ned articulated, “Thanks again! Bye, Penny!”
I verbalized, “Bye, Ned!”
As I watched them walk away and get into his vehicle, which still had damage from the monsters he got involved with, I felt pride that at least one chapter was finished…
Did we go on anymore otherworldly adventures? Well, that’s a story for another day! Luke and I put the key in the safe for the theatre’s profits- it seemed the safest there, safe is literally in its name! I wanted to get this ridiculous tale out there to implore our grandchildren and all the other future generations to keep the key in the family, and continue to protect it, always!
The End!
New Trouble, Chapter 37
I raised my eyebrows skeptically at her. “How dumb do you think we are?”
“I left my clothes in my client’s bathroom! My stash is in my pocket, and my client is a police station!” Beck slapped his forehead.
“Why did you change your wardrobe there?” Sam wondered.
Beck told him, “I wasn’t! I was taking a dump! It’s a little hard to do your business in a jumpsuit without getting practically naked!”
I relayed to the bathing women, “Well, in any case, we’re still not naive enough tofall for whatever trap you’re trying to set for us!”
“No, really!” the one woman insisted. “Halorykta had to hide the exit somewhere where the other monsters wouldn’t find it, and not a lot of residents here use the bathhouse! Actually, a lot of them can’t even fit in here, so it’s the perfect place, really!”
“That makes sense, actually!” Sally contemplated the matter.
I argued with her, “No, not you too! No resident of Tartarus is sincerely interested in helping us!”
Sally shot back, “Then why did you suggest somebody might do that when we started this journey?”
“I…! I dunno!” I admitted. “So far, the only one who’s been nice to us is the bird!” I referred to the calm crow still perched on my shoulder. “Please don’t go potty on me!”
“Penny is quite correct,” Sam sided with me. “Our feathered friend has given us no cause for disquiet; it’s proven itself trustworthy from its lengthy stretch without incident! A lot of monsters have given us a false sense of security only to betray us in the end, so we really ought to exercise caution in this instance!”
The woman seductively regarded him, “I won’t hurt you! …Unless you want me to!”
Sam readily jerked towards her. “Okie dokie!”
“Nuh-uh!” Sally pulled him back. “You can only think with one head at a time, so one of us ladies will have to check their story out!”
“Oh, no! I’m not gonna be the canary in the coal mine again!” I protested. I glanced at the crow and added, “No offense to your species!”
Sally handed Sam over to me as if he were a dog on a leash. “Alright, I’ll go look!”
The bathing women watched her with a keen intrigue, and as I held the men back, I got a bad feeling about this venture. I recommended, “Let’s just keep going and ask some other monsters about the accuracy of their account!”
“No! There really is an exit!” Sally apprised me. “It says ‘Earth’ with an arrow going up!” I remained skeptical, and she accosted me, “What? What could possibly go wrong at this point?” One of the women’s arms stretched out, grabbed her, and held her underwater!
“Sally!” I cried out. I let go of the men, picked up a rock, and hurled it towards the malefactresses. I missed the one I was aiming for, of course, but it still landed on one of them, forcing them to fall backwards and reveal their fins! “Mermaids! Aw! You guys were supposed to be nice! Thanks for ruining a piece of my childhood!”
The women scornfully cackled. While they were preoccupied, Sally reached her hand upward, clutched her captor’s hair, and pulled her down. The mermaid fell into the basin, and since she lost her grip while doing so, Sally emerged and rolled out of the tub and returned to us. After recuperating for a few seconds, Sally remarked, “It’s a good thing I have plenty of practice holding my breath for ages! Don’t ask me why!”
Sam conveyed to her, “When it comes ot your personal life, we try not to do any follow-up questions!”
“Didn’t I tell you something about them was… fishy?” I kidded my besties.
“Great! You’re doing puns now? Is that our punishment for not listening to your warnings?” Sally sulked.
As we trudged along, I thought that Luke would’ve appreciated my humor, and my heart panged for him. I wished he was here, but recalling where I was, I wished I was with him back in Adonis Shores! I also dearly hoped that we would get out of this debacle alive so I could see his handsome face again!
The four of us chatted as we continued our trek, and Beck earnestly implored us, “I’m a one-woman man, and they caught me off-guard! I wouldn’t have done anything other than look, I swear! If Belle ever finds out about this, you tell her that, ‘kay?”
“Okay, okay!” I relented. “Jeez, you seem more concerned about getting in trouble with her than the police officers!”
“If I go to jail, I’ll be safe! If I piss her off, I gotta sleep in the bed as a scorned girlfriend! That’s a lot more dangerous!” Beck shuddered.
I assured Beck, “I don’t think she’ll ever find out! She was at KD Nickels when we faced those skeleton warriors, and she had no idea anything went on. She wouldn’t recognize the mystical realm if it were staring her in the face!” When I swiveled back to face the road, there was a nearly translucent panther staring into my eyes! “Oh, hello!” I greeted it nervously.
The ghost panther growled and began to pace around our pack! More of them manifested, and soon, we were surrounded by dozens of them! Sam commented, “I highly doubt our go-to methodology of combating monsters will suffice in this scenario- rocks won’t hurt a being without a central nervous system!”
“How do we defeat them then?” I catechized.
“I’ve got an idea!” Sally pulled out her keys, and she pointed a small flashlight at the ground. A small red dot shone onto the surface, and Sally wiggled it around like it was a mouse scurrying in a field. The ghost panthers’ behavior didn’t change, so Sally pouted, “Well, it works with normal cats!”
Beck theorized, “If I had my pants, I could’ve used my stash like sage! Belle smudges our house to ward off evil spirits, and I think they’re in the same family!”
I suggested, “Maybe if we keep moving, they’ll step aside!” I inched forward slightly- one of the ghost panthers nipped at my feet, so I retracted it and sighed, “I guess not!”
“Holy smokes! After everything we’ve been through, this is where it ends?” Sally bemoaned.
“Oh, come on! We’ve overcome a lot of difficult things! We can beat this, too!” I attempted to buoy everyone’s spirits.
Sam challenged me, “How are we supposed to beat an entire colony of ferocious beasts?”
I waivered on that issue, “Uhhh…! We…” The ghost panthers positioned themselves as if they were ready to pounce, so I changed tactics slightly, “Well, we’re not going down without a fight! We’ll punch and kick the bastards as they swarm in, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll knock enough of them out to allow us to escape! Get ready! We got this!” I poised myself to defend against their assault, but even I had a lack of faith in our ability to overcome the odds that were heavily stacked against us…
The ghost panthers propelled themselves towards us, and as I dealt some jabs, I expected to feel their sharp fangs sinking deep into my flesh! I would’ve also guessed I would’ve felt fur, whiskers, or anything really, but I didn’t feel a thing other than a slight chill! I grew quite confused, so I glanced over to my friends. Sam was crouching as he used his arms as shields from peril, Beck watched them pass by as if he expected one of them to make contact with him, and Sally simply ogled them in confusion. It took a minute for it to dawn on me, but I eventually concluded, “They can’t actually hurt us!”
“Yes! I knew that!” Sam claimed as he stood back up from a cowering position.
“So, we just ignore them?” Beck surmised.
I certified this, “Yeah! Let’s move on!” We resumed our march through that hellish village, and the ghost panthers persisted in their bombardment of us. Their growling and hissing were quite audible, and it didn’t take long for me to lose my temper over this. “Okay, this is really annoying! I don’t wanna spend the rest of the trip like this!”
Sally concurred, “Me either! I didn’t bring a sweater!” She cradled herself as she shivered from their recurrent interactions with us.
“How do we get rid of them?” I pondered. As if on cue, the crow started cawing, and the ghost panthers winced as if they were spooked prior to their disappearance! I gazed at the crow and quizzed it, “You’ve had that up your sleeve this whole time?”
“Oh, good!” Sam expressed in alleviation as Haloyrkta’s summoning crystal appeared above our heads. “I’m actually relieved to see that commodity for once!”
When we landed back in Halorykta’s throne room, we immediately got swept into a gilded cage! As we roosted above the floor, squished together, Sally dryly muttered, “Oh, this is an improvement!”
Halorykta laughed derisively at us, and Petroruxei’o ran in looking aghast. “Hey! You can’t do that!” Petroruxei’o objected.
“I’m not hurting them!” Halorykta irritably contended.
“Does pride count?” Beck posed to them with his lips stuck on a bar.
Petroruxei’o differed, “No, I meant that’s mine!”
Halorykta snapped, “We are husband and wife! What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours!”
“Does that mean I can use your wine salts?” Petroruxei’o inquired.
“No!” Halorykta vehemently replied. She turned her attention back to us and leered, “Having fun?”
I sarcastically asserted, “Yeah! So much so that we’re prepared to give you the key and stay here forever!”
Halorykta figured, “You’re joking, aren’t you?” I nodded, and she raged, “Ugh! This is why I hate humans! You’re so insincere!”
“Says the girl who wears hair extensions!” I riposted.
“Quit trying to get under my skin!” Halorykta barked. “If you cause my temper to flare enough, you won’t like the consequences!”
Sam massaged his squished arm and reacted incredulously, “This is you being nice?”
Halorykta ranted, “I’m done standing idly by as you selfishly withhold me from my destiny! I cannot permit this injustice to continue! Your kind is fullof liars, philanderers, thieves, and, worst of all, singers who keep repeating the same words over and over and over again! Human beings taint everything they touch, and their existence makes me sick! Humanity deserves to get obliterated!”
“Humans aren’t all bad!” I enspeeched. “Yes, there are some terrible people, but there is a lot of good in the world too! We have individuals who dedicate their whole lives to helping others, and some even risk their own safety to do so! Sometimes, strangers will even give up the shirts off their backs to assist those in need! Sure, there’s a lot of hate and crime, but there’s also a lot of love and kindness! You’re only focusing on the negative parts! Have you been watching that biased news channel?”
“There is not enough goodness out there to justify the continued existence of mortals!” Halorykta maintained.
I probed, “Why do you hate us so much? This feels personal- who hurt you?” She craned her neck to stare at a distant corner, which made it seem futile to stay on the same track, so I gave up on that tactic. “You don’t wanna say? Fine! But you’re not gonna convince us to give you the key to Pandora’s Box! So, you may as well send us back to Tartarus!”
Beck verbalized, “Or Earth! I don’t wanna fight any monsters for a while- my foot’s asleep!”
“I’d like to go anywhere but here!” Sally put in. “My boobs are pressed against the metal! I’m glad I decided not to get that nipple ring!”
“Don’t say stuff like that!” Petroruxei’o requested. “Then I’ll never get my wife to-!”
Halorykta interrupted him, “I’m not getting them! My me! Where do you get ideas like that?”
A light bulb swiftly went off in my head. “Wait, you were the-?”
Suddenly, there was clamor downstairs, and Halorykta observed, “We’re not alone here!”
New Trouble, Chapter 36
There was a small crack of light in the void… I was surprised that I landed on a smooth surface, but I had no clue where I was or how to get out of there. I didn’t know what would happen if I went near the light, and I didn’t totally trust it, but I had no other choice but to explore its meaning. It turned out to be a small slit on a solid surface, and it appeared as though the light emanated from another room. I thought my curiosity piqued merely as a result of searching for a secret entrance to the Hecate House! I was dying to see what was in the room! I pressed an eyeball to the crack, and…
A door swung open, and I nearly tripped over a nearby vase! The entryway closed behind me, and it looked like nothing more than an antique, full-length mirror! I expected this place to be far more mystical, but instead, a sewage-like odor hit my nostrils like a freight train! I nearly threw up in the vase, but I soon realized that it wasn’t actually a vase… “A chamber pot? Hecate’s lover left through their bathroom?”
I tiptoed to the hallway, and it seemed like I was in some sort of palace! I felt guilty for trespassing, but I wasn’t certain how to return home. I peered down the foyer, and I didn’t hear any signs of life. I swiveled my head to the left, and to my startlement, there was a crow perched on top of an actual vase! “Whoa! You scared me, buddy! I guess Halorykta isn’t the only one with a pet like you!” It cawed, and I shushed it, “Please, don’t! I don’t want your owner to think I’m an intruder! Well, I am one, but I don’t want them to think that!” It perched on my shoulder and extended its foot towards me, and I catechized, “What am I supposed to do with that?” It threatened to caw again, so I stroked its talon. That appeared to placate it, so I shrugged and moved on.
There was a staircase leading to a larger room, and it sounded like there was a slight noise in the distance, so it seemed worth checking out. I predicted seeing a posh sitting room, but, to my shock, it was the same throne room my besties and I frequently got summoned to! “Wait, that means I’m in… And you’re…!” I glimpsed at the crow with terror, and I wanted to flee and take my chances in the void to escape this lair at once, but then…
“Hello? Where did you fly off to? I-!” Halorykta burst into the room with a towel on! When she spotted me, she looked as though she nearly had a heart attack! “What in the name of me are you doing here?” She espied her crow on my shoulder, and she got insulted. “Traitor!”
“Whoa! You were using hair extensions! I knew it!” I grinned when I noticed her shorter mane.
Halorykta clicked her tongue out of annoyance. “Fine, yes! I embellish my appearance a little! I take them off in the salt therapy quarters, and I didn’t imagine I’d run into anyone worth impressing!” She rubbed her chin contemplatively, and then she concluded, “I must have dozed off and summoned you by accident!” I did my utmost not to give off a guilty vibe- I did not have a clue why I was keeping the portal a secret, but somebody hid it, and they were probably shielding it from her. I doubted that she would’ve kept it quiet if she were Hecate’s lover, but obviously somebody was sneaking into the mortal realm! She would have been loud and proud about a feat like that, but then again, she most likely just would have shown up and wouldn’t have devised such a furtive means of transportation! I also clammed up in hopes that she would send me back to Earth, but instead, she… “Well, I may as well bring everyone else in since you’re already here!”
I cringed as she gave the air a flick of the wrist, and within a minute, Sally arrived in work pants and a rather risque shirt. Sally huffed, “Man! I was hoping to spend my lunch break at that Greek diner down the street!”
“Hungry?” I guessed.
“Not really!” She stowed away some perfume in her pocket.
Sam appeared with a fly swatter in his hands, and he grumped, “Did you really have to do that in the middle of a work shift? I had a heck of a time trying to hide your crystal from my colleagues!”
Beck manifested wearing only a t-shirt, and he had to pull up his boxers! “Dude! You couldn’t have waited until I put my jumper on?”
“Alright, go ahead and give us your spiel!” I vocalized as if I was also there by accident.
“I just wanted to let you know I’m not sending any more monsters up to the mortal realm anymore,” Haloyrkta announced as she perched on her throne, still in a towel but acting very regal.
Sally eyeballed her suspiciously. “This feels like a trick!”
Halorykta insisted, “No, no! I mean it!” We gazed at her in disbelief until she added, “I’m sending you straight to the source in Tartarus!” She laughed as the ground beneath us vanished, making us plummet far down below!
We landed on a rocky surface, and once we nursed our sore behinds, we studied our surroundings. It looked like we were in a normal village in an ancient era… except everything was on or near fire! As we gawked at the winding road ahead of us, Beck complained, “This isn’t fair! I gotta go through this creepy place and fight monsters without any pants!”
“Ive got pants on, and I’m fairly certain that it will not benefit me much!” Sam responded to him.
“Is the bird immortal?” I nervously glimpsed at the crow, who was still perched on my shoulder. “Because I really hope so!”
Sally canvassed the group, “Is there a path out of here?”
Beck adamantly stated, “I choose to believe there is!”
I theorized, “There must be ‘cause I don’t think she’d send us down here without us agreeing to give her the key to Pandora’s Box if we didn’t have a remote shot at surviving! But, there’s only one way to find out- let’s see what’s out there! Who knows, one of these creatures might wind up being helpful to us!” No one really believed that, not even me, but we crossed our fingers that this would be the case as we initiated the onset of our latest misadventure.
As we marvelled at the empty and shoddy edifices, Sam observed, “The doors are all unlocked! Did Halorykta leave it like that after she retrieved her monsters, or do members of this community go around destroying each other?”
“I wish Luke were here! He’d probably know about what’s in this hellhole!” Sally expressed. She espied my face, and she apologized, “Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot! I got used to him being around for this stuff…”
“It’s okay!” I assured her. “I wish he were here too! I wanna tell him that…” I trailed off when I became aware of a giant shadow heading towards our proximity. “Oh, maybe this isn’t the best moment to discuss my romantic drama!”
Initially, it seemed like it was simply a towering snake, but when it slithered completely into view, we learned that it had a head on both sides of its body! The first head sneered, “Welcome to our domain!”
Beck quizzed him, “Which one of you is the crapper?”
“What?” The first head blinked in surprise.
“I mean, if one of you is at where the ass normally is, then one of you has to take in food while the other shoots it out, right?” Beck pressed the two heads.
The first head spat, “You’re referring to the end of the tailbone! Waste doesn’t come out of there!”
Prior to Beck delving into that subject any further, the second head butted in, “We’re not here to educate you! We’re here to terrify you!” It studied our visages, and it asked, “Why aren’t you terrified?”
“Meh!” I answered with a shrug. “We’re getting numb to this supernatural shit!”
“Well, perhaps you’ll feel differently when you’re being devoured!” the second head seethed.
Sam pointed out, “Technically, we would cease to feel anything at all when we’re deceased like that!”
The two heads emitted an exasperated exhale, and then they lunged for us! We dodged their advances by heading into the abandoned properties adjacent to us, dashing inside to avoid their blows. Two of us were on one side while the other two were across the street, and after the two heads split up in their targeting of us, they used their heads like hammers to eat away at the exterior. Sally bemoaned, “I feel like I’m not gonna make it back from my lunch hour on time! I’m not getting paid right now, which totally blows!”
“What do we do?” Beck called out from the other side. “I don’t think the homeowners will like what we’re doing to their digs!”
“Gee whiz!” Sam glimpsed at Beck in surprise. “I would’ve expected you to make some inartful comment about getting ingested by the posterior side!”
The second head impatiently hollered, “For the last time, neither of us is the anus! We’re both perfectly equal!”
Pausing its pursuit of us briefly, the first head reacted to that last sentence, “I don’t know about perfectly…”
Suddenly, I foresaw an opportunity for us to at least distract this strange duo for a while! I broadcasted to them both, “Hold on! We need to settle this once and for all ‘cause I’ll only agree to get eaten by the best- which one of you is the superior one?”
“Neither of us!” the second head spat.
“Says the inferior one…” the first head snidely remarked.
The second head turned to face its counterpart in dumbfoundment. “Excuse me?”
With a slight air of arrogance, the first head argued, “Well, I am the one who comes up with the best ideas!”
“Dear brother, I think you’re forgetting how we landed ourselves in this nightmare in the first place!” the second head countered.
“Hey! My plan would’ve worked if it weren’ for your interference!” the first head bickered.
The second head differed, “I had to stop you! Your incompetence was unbearable!”
As fury steadily grew in its eyes, the first head growled, “You do realize that I don’t need you, right? I could eliminate you with a single bite!”
Cackling derisively, the second head scoffed, “I’d like to see how far you’d get without me!”
“Very well!” The first head launched itself toward the second.
“You-!” The second head mimicked its move.
They both swallowed each other’s heads, which resulted in them forming a motionless ring. Sally articulated, “Huh! I was kinda hoping they’d talk about that plan more before they did that! It sounds like an interesting story!”
I recommended, “Let’s get out of here before they regain the ability to tell another tale!” The crow cawed in confirmation, and we sidestepped the snaky circle while we raced away from that spot.
“And then Dawson claimed that Pythagoras was the greatest mathematician of all time! Can you believe that?” Sam chortled.
“I have no idea who that is, so, yeah!” Sally verbalized.
Sam cried out, “What? You’ve never heard of the inventor of the Pythagorean Theorem? I must’ve explained it to you hundreds of times!”
Sally rolled her eyes. “Sounds about right!”
“Is that a bathhouse?” I indicated to a large venue on our left. “Are these demonic beasts actually grooming themselves in this mess?”
“Just ‘cause we’re surrounded by monsters doesn’t mean we have to smell like one!” a young woman chirped as she popped up from one of the tubs and smiled at us.
Sam and Beck were clearly pleased by her presence. Beck queried, “We?”
A few more beautiful women came into view, and none of them appeared to be wearing any clothing! Beck and Sam were enraptured, and one of the women flirtatiously invited us, “You guys can join us if you want!”
The men were ready to accept this offer, but Sally and I blocked them from darting up there. I reminded them, “Did you forget the lesson we learned from the nymphs? They could be dangerous!”
“Totally! But they may not be, and we’d miss out on a rare opportunity if we just walked away!” Beck protested.
“We’re not going anywhere that isn’t an exit out of this joint!” Sally decreed.
One of the bathing women notified us, “You’re in luck! We can help you with that!”
New Trouble, Chapter 35
“Are you ready to order?’ a waiter in a nice suit queried as he approached my table on the terrace.
“No, not yet!” I politely refused. “I’m still waiting for the other member of my party to arrive.”
I turned my attention back to the water view as I anxiously waited for my lunch companion to show up. I wasn’t certain what would come of it, and if it didn’t go well, I would have been totally screwed. I tried to think positively, but lately, everything seemed to go wrong for me, so I was expecting more of the same today. I also crossed my fingers that no monsters would interrupt this venture, not with the stakes this high…
The waiter urged me, “You could order without them since they’re so late!”
“Uh, no! I’d rather not!” I didn’t want the embarrassment of having to explain that I wasn’t fronting the bill, and there was no way I could ever afford to eat there on my own! Besides, I was too nervous to eat anyway! I didn’t want to account for why I was completely on edge, so I attempted to wave him off as casually as I could, “It shouldn’t be long! Thank you!”
“Listen, I’ve been in your shoes before!” the waiter sympathized as he sat down beside me.
As I swirled around my ice water just to have something to fidget with, I tittered at that notion, “I sincerely doubt that!”
The waiter consoled me, “There’s no shame in getting stood up! Don’t worry about that jerk who isn’t showing up! There are plenty of fish in the sea!”
“Among other things…” I mumbled as I recalled the strange creatures we contended with in the water.
“What was that?” the waiter catechized.
I chirped, “Nothing!” I spotted a hostess leading someone to my direction, so I notified my waiter, “Ah, here they are now!”
A handsome man in his seventies headed towards me, and my waiter commented, “Ooh! You like them older!”
“That’s my dad,” I informed him.
“Is he seeing anyone?” The waiter checked him out, and he observed, “Oh, he’s married! Never mind!”
I requested, “Could you give us a minute?” The waiter cordially bowed out, and I greeted my dad, “Hey! There’s my old man!”
My dad scoffed at that concept, “Old? Oh, come on! I still look pretty much the same as I did when I was your age!”
“Santa!” Two little kids ran up to him and gave him a hug, and one of them pressed him, “Did you get my letter? I want a blue bike! And don’t give ur baby brother anything- he’s a little terror!”
“Okay! I guess I have aged a bit!” my dad grumpily admitted as the kids’ mother summoned them back to their table. He sat down and instructed me, “Order whatever you like!”
I gazed at him in a slight surprise. “Are you sure? This place is kind of expensive!”
My dad jovially permitted, “Oh, sure! It’s fine! I can write this off in my taxes anyway!”
“How is this business related?” I probed.
“Well, I assume you’re gonna ask me for money…” my dad reasoned.
I momentarily forgot my purpose there, and my face fell. “How did you know?”
My dad explained, “You told me you had something important to discuss, and since you didn’t invite your mom, I assume you’re not pregnant…”
“That’s true! I’m not! And thank goodness I’m not! I didn’t realize my problems could get worse ‘til you brought that up!” I mused.
“Alright, let’s hear it!” my dad invited me.
I took a deep breath, and then I handed him the letter. “They want me to pay a bunch of money in back taxes for the Hecate House! That’s not fair! I just go this place a few weeks ago! And how can they say the property is worth so much? Yeah, I know it’s a big home by the beach, but Doug had trouble getting anyone to take it for free!” I frustratedly buried my head in my hands.
My dad predicted, “Let me guess- your mom’s solution for you was to find a rich man to marry?”
“That was her solution for my financial problems before I got that letter! I didn’t tell her about it- she’d probably insist on it now!” I almost wanted to chuckle at her nonsense, but the laughter couldn’t find my lips. My dad chortled though, so I began to get curious about what his face might entail… “Is that what you’re gonna suggest I do?”
“‘Oh, yeah! ‘Cause that plan worked out real well last time!” my dad kidded.
I grinned. “Now I know where I get my sarcasm from!”
My dad also grinned. “Right! Your mom hates it, but I keep trying to make her smile somehow because she’s always so serious. That’s why I married her- I hoped I could loosen her up a bit. I give up pretty quickly when it seems like a dead end, and I bury myself in my work to avoid her grumpiness, but every once in a while, I take a break from the old grindstone and give it the old college try!” He looked amused at the idea for a while, but he grew more serious when he addressed me, “Don’t listen to what she says! Only marry for love! If you follow your heart, the funds will follow!” I bore a doubtful visage at that, so he added, “Eventually!”
“So, you don’t think I’m a fool for chasing my dream of being an actor?” I quizzed him.
“Not at all!” my dad assured me. “In fact, I’m a bit envious of you!”
I blinked in shock open hearing that. “Wow! First, Sally gets jealous when I get fired, and now I inspired jealousy in you ‘cause I’m divorced and broke?”
My dad elaborated, “What you did took guts! A lot of people aren’t brave enough to take risks like that, and they go their whole lives devoid of passion! When I was younger, I had a dream too! No, it wasn’t take over Pop’s business! I wanted to be a juggler!”
“You can juggle?” I catechized in surprise.
“Sure can!” He grabbed a few oranges off of a display, and it amazed me tosee a man whom I’ve only seen with his nose buried in an expense book perform something so artsy with such accuracy!
The little kids cried out in delight, “I didn’t know Santa could do that!”
My dad stopped when he heard that, and he went on, “I swore up and down I was gonna go out and make a career out of it, but Pop warned me that the good jugglers don’t earn a lot, and if I didn’t get a decent gig, I’d wind up penniless in the streets. I took the secure route, and I hated every minute of it! Don’t spend your whole life wondering what could have been! Go for your goals!”
“I’d like to, but I’ll end up penniless on the streets too with this debt hanging over my head! I haven’t had any luck finding work!” I exasperatedly exhaled.
“That’s ‘cause you’re not employable, sweetie!” my dad remarked. I glanced at him in startlement of his offense, so he elaborated, “You’re strong-willed and smarter than most employers! You’d be better off with your own business! I could give you a job if you learned tax laws, but would you be happy doing that for a living?”
I considered that proposal, “No, but if that’s my only option…”
My dad dissuaded me, “It’s not! First of all, I could make you a receptionist, but we only hire them during the tax season, so you’d still have to find work for two-thirds of the year. The other option is go out on your own! Do your own thing!”
“That sounds nice, but I can’t with that!” I gestured to the letter.
“Well, you could set up a payment plan for that. Of course, you’d be paying off the interest forever… See! I knew we’d get to business at this meeting! It’s totally a ride off!” I giggled slightly, but it was hard not to grimace at this juncture. My dad mulled the matter over for a moment, and then he put forward, “What about my dad’s inheritance account? I never did anything with it…”
I politely refused, “Oh, no! I couldn’t! I’m sure Pop would want you to invest in something better!”
My dad countered that argument, “What could be a better investment than you?” My heart swelled- I couldn’t recall a time I received such kindness and support! Sure, Luke was like that, but he negated everything with his hurtful comments at the dance! My dad put the letter in his pocket, and then he articulated, “Plus, it’ll piss your mom off that I made it so you can keep the Hecate House!” I laughed, and then my dad summoned the waiter, “Sir! Bring us a bottle of your finest champagne!”
One of the little kids exclaimed, “Oh no! Santa drinks alcohol?” My dad shook his head, but we both expressed mirth at this scenario.
The next day, I woke up with a little relief knowing my tax debt issue was resolved, but my spirits were still heavy. I missed Luke, and I hoped that, after I explained myself to him, he’d retract his accusation that I was a gold digger only interested in money. The trouble was that our encounters were so random that I didn’t know when I’d see him again! I needed an activity to keep my mind off of him, and I didn’t have a job to distract me anymore. I could’ve ventured elsewhere to search for a potential employer willing to give me an interview, but I doubted that I could have concentrated on that. I kept thinking about what my dad said about starting my own business- it seemed like the Hecate House would be a prime location to start a small enterprise, but it was nowhere near ready to entertain the public! I decided sprucing up that hovel was the best method of calming down my anxious thoughts…
I worked on buffing out the bannister, nd I became too engrossed in polishing it to perfection to brood on my romantic woes… Or, at least I was until I glanced upwards and saw how little progress I actually made! I got a little discouraged and slumped on the steps, and when I inadvertently kicked the wall, I created a little hole! I groaned due to the extra barrier I made for getting to the finish line… until…
There was something shiny hidden in the crevice! I wondered what was hidden in there, and I dared to grow more optimistic. If it had been kept secret like that, I reasoned that it could have been the key to Pandora’s Box! I swiftly dug for it, and… It was a tin wind-up toy shaped like a chicken! It amused me that I unearthed one of my mom’s long-lost childhood trinkets, but it also got me fixated on what Sally said about more clues resting somewhere in the depths of this abode…
I dashed to Hecate’s letters- well, it seemed easier than running all over the building scouring for some sort of hint about what occurred here so long ago! Besides, Hecate’s lover appeared to have played a huge role in this! I sat down and studied the old papers, and most of it was pretty basic. My jaw dropped a bit when I learned that Hecate got her nipples pierced! I didn’t know that women in the eighteen hundreds did that, and I could’ve gone a lifetime without that knowledge! Especially since it involved one of my ancestors! I cast that image out of my head and prayed that I would find something more substantial than that, and boy, did I ever…
Hecate mentioned waiting for her lover by the secret basement entrance! The secret entrance? She ran a haunted house attraction from there, so I didn’t believe that the entryway for the visitors was what she meant! The staircase leading in couldn’t have been it either since someone had to use it in order to utilize the dumbwaiter, so it had to have had a third means of entering! My curiosity piqued, and I bolted to the basement to discover it!
I walked along the perimeter and knocked over every inch to flush it out. It got rather dull after a while, and I got a lot of dust on my clothes from pressing my ear against the surface to listen for something hollow. I kept setting off the trip wire of the attraction, and that contributed to the difficulty of this task, too! I was beginning to think I read that text wrong when I found it!
After tapping on a spot behind a ghost, a chunk of the paneling opened up! I expected to view the backyard or the nearby beach, but instead, I saw a dark void! I was confused by this until it sucked me into its domain…
New Trouble, Chapter 34
As Sally put the finishing touches to her makeup, I emerged from a bathroom stall in an elegant but flattering gown, and I asked her, “What do you think?”
She turned around and smiled as she answered, “You look amazing! Luke won’t be able to keep his hands off of you!”
“Shh!” I hushed her in case someone was near the door. “Oh, this was a bad idea! If I make him want me, then I could put everyone in danger! We really need to take some time to figure out what the key is! We’ve been so busy chasing off Halorykta’s monsters that we haven’t been able to do any research on how to stop all this from happening! Where would we even look, though? We’ve tried everywhere!”
“Maybe there’s some sort of clue at the Hecate House,” Sally theorized. “I mean, all this started after we began working on the home, so there’s gotta be something there! Even if there isn’t, we gotta make that place livable for you anyway!”
I groaned, “Oh, right! I’m gonna go broke if I don’t find a solution soon! What am I gonna do?”
Not looking up from her cosmetics application, Sally advised me, “You’re gonna have fun tonight! Clear your head, boost your confidence, and give it some more thought tomorrow! If you put too much pressure on yourself, you’ll explode and create a bigger mess- kinda like that beanstalk!”
“Hey! We had to do something with those lightning bolts!” I defended myself. “What was I supposed to do? Keep it stowed away in my apartment? What if the landlord inspected it? How would I explain that to him?”
“Ladies! You need to hurry! They’re about to let the kids in!” Sam notified us.
Sally shot back, “Give me a minute! I gotta look my best to impress any handsome teachers that show up!”
Beck briefed her, “There aren’t any other teachers coming! That’s why Luke wanted our help!”
“Really?” Sally pouted in a slight disappointment. She swiftly picked up her beauty products and declared, “Okay, I’m ready!”
“No, you can’t play ‘Rump Shaker!’ It’s not about dancing! Well, maybe a little, but there are some really inappropriate references there!” Luke scolded the deejay.
I brought up to Luke, “This guy doesn’t normally do children’s functions, does he?”
Luke laughed, “I hope not!” We chortled at that quip, and when Luke swiveled around and saw me dressed up, he gawked in astonishment. “Wow! You look beautiful!”
“Thank you!” I glanced down as I blushed.
“Alright, spread out by the dance floor! I’m letting the students in!” Willard announced.
Libby situated herself somewhat close to my position and reminded me, “Don’t forget to give me your doctor friend’s number before you leave!”
I queried, “Do you have a pen?” She grabbed one from the deejay’s booth as well as a strip of paper for a Homecoming King vote. It felt a bit funny putting Ned’s name there- there’s no way he ever had the charisma to be given that title! Of course, I didn’t tell her that! As I handed it to her, I observed, “Oh, you didn’t get a manicure?”
“Nah! I figured there wouldn’t be any point- it seemed more practical to keep the beanstalk crud in it rather than risk ruining a perfectly good set after another monster attack,” Libby articulated. “We’re not gonna get ambushed again, are we?”
“God, I hope not!” I vehemently expressed.
As the attendees explored various parts of the gym, I saw Mary and Tommy approaching my direction. I complimented the pair, “Hi there! You two look fantastic! I love the corsage! I’ve never seen a carnation with red dots!”
Mary admitted, “Actually, it’s spaghetti sauce! I should’ve picked something cleaner for our dinner!”
“You learn from your mistakes!” I sagely stated. “Trust me, I’ve gained a lot of life lessons over the years!”
“Good to know!” Mary giggled. “Is it against the rules to vote for yourself for Queen?”
Tommy fretted, “Don’t tell her! Now, we’re gonna get into trouble!”
I assured them, “I don’t think it is, but if anyone asks, I won’t tell!” The pair grinned at me, and once they happily walked over to cast their ballots, I savored the moment of fun and started to believe this night wouldn’t turn out so bad after all.
Two hours later, my besties and I stood there bored out of our minds! Not that I wanted monsters or misbehaving teenagers to spice up the evening, but I was hoping we could do more than watch the same few dance moves getting used minute after minute and hour after hour! Sam was doing random equations on his calculator, Sally had a glazed expression as if she was regretting her decision to participate in this rather than go man-hunting somewhere else, and Beck had fallen asleep on a pillar. I may have been tempted into slumbering too if I were comfortable in my shoes! I sighed and decided to grab a glass of punch for what felt like the millionth time…
Preceding my return to the concessions table, Luke flagged me down and catechized, “Having fun?” I gave him a questioning look, and he surmised, “I guess not. Well, they’re gonna announce the Homecoming Royalty in a half hour. That should be amusing!”
“Libby’s so lucky she got to count the votes!” I commented. “I went for the box too, but she snatched it like it was her newborn!”
“If you’re bored, we can dance,” Luke proposed.
I agreed, “Sure! Why not?” I stood before him, and I recalled my skills in this area. “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t! I really suck at it!”
Luke urged me, “Oh, come on! It can’t be that bad!” I felt incredibly dumb for my willingness to demonstrate my abysmal ability to a hunk like him, but he insisted, so I indulged him a bit. I kept it short after seeing his face, and I hung my head out of embarrassment. I expected him to separate himself from me after that, but instead, he lifted my chin up and offered, “Can I teach you a couple of tips?”
“That’d be great!” I beamed out of relief. That was normally a traumatic experience for me, but he was so kind that I felt less ashamed of myself! No one had ever had such a sweet response after witnessing my dancing, and it made my feelings for him deepen…
“You gotta move your hips. No, like this…” He put his hands on my waist and maneuvered them. “There you go!”
I remarked, “Wow! It’s been a while since I’ve used these muscles! Not that I didn’t want to, but I never had reason to with Ned’s performance issues! …Don’t tell Libby!”
Luke smirked. “Eh! Knowing her, she’ll have a trick or two up her sleeve to fix it! After all, she was runner-up for town slut!”
We chortled, and then I realized he was still very close to me. I loved the way his hold felt, and the manner in which he stared at me made my heart flutter. He leaned in for a kiss, and I almost let him, but then I heard the keys in my purse tumble, which caused me to recall that I needed to refrain from getting too close to him until we sorted out what was the key to Pandora’s Box was. I sincerely hoped it wasn’t him, but I couldn’t risk it in case it did turn out to be him. It was the hardest thing in the world to do, but I pulled myself away from him and claimed, “I gotta go to the bathroom! Too much punch, you know…”
“What’s going on?” Luke accosted me prior to me getting too far. “Why do you keep breaking away each time I try to kiss you?”
“Most of the time, it’s ‘cause some crazy creature showed up,” I verbalized.
Luke riposted, “There’s nothing here now!” I tried to unearth a rationale for that, and I couldn’t. “Look, I think we both know there’s something between us! Why don’t you wanna be with me?”
I responded, “I do! I just…” I considered telling him about the possibility that he could have been what Halorykta was after to evoke the apocalypse, but I didn’t want to put that anxiety on him, so I lamely finished, “… I can’t!”
“It’s ‘cause I’m not rich, isn’t it?” Luke inquired.
“Of course not!” I replied.
Luke didn’t believe me. “Yeah, right! You got a taste for the high life with your ex, and you wanna be with someone who can give that to you again! Ugh, why did I ever fool myself into thinking I could ever meet your standards?”
I got really hurt by his accusation. “That’s not true! I-!”
He turned his back to me. “Forget it!”
His viewpoint really stung, and I wondered if he was really the person I thought he was after saying something so vicious! It also dawned on me that the entire gym’s attention was on me, and it was far worse than showing them how I dance! Tears welled up in my eyes, and I ran out the door! Well, first I crashed into the photo booth, and then I dramatically left the building. My friends followed me, but I refused to talk about it. Discussing it would make it real, and I simply couldn’t accept this as reality…
The next day, I fed Scully, and I slumped on a seat beside her. I had no clue if she was listening, and she probably wasn’t since she was a cat, but I spilled my guts to her anyway, “I screwed everything up! I didn’t do enough to figure out how to end this whole apocalypse saga, and now our whole lives are just one nightmare after another! If I had done more, it wouldn’t have mattered if Luke was the key or not- we could’ve just been together! I could’ve told him the truth so he didn’t fall under the belief that I’m some sort of gold digger! But, I don’t know why he’d assume that- I was a theatre major! No one does that for the money! Well, that’s my fault too ‘cause it’s not like anyone would ever dream up the possibility that they’re the key to Pandora’s Box! I messed up, and who knows how long we can prevent a vengeful goddess from wiping out humanity! I hurt him too much to say goodbye, and now I’ll never get a chance to tell him I’ve fallen head over heels for him!”
I started crying, and Scully glanced up in alarm. She mewed in worry, and then she hopped onto my lap. It was really sweet, and it helped me calm down a little. “You do understand a little! So, I’m not totally insane for sharing my problems with you! Well, what’s your opinion on what I should do?” She didn’t say anything, obviously, so I concluded, “Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t be telling you all this! Maybe I can explain myself to him! It’s worth a shot! Oh, but he’s doing his cab work today, so he could be anywhere in Adonis Shores! Or Monterey! Maybe I can catch him after class! Oh, it’s a little dodgy to have a childless adult hovering around a school! Hmm… Oh, that’s it! I can relay my message to his mom! I’m gonna stop by the salon before I meet up with Sally, Sam, and Beck! Thanks, Scully!” I gave her a hug as I set her down, and I bounced out of the Hecate House with a bit more vigor in my step since I had a plan in place and a small sliver of hope on the horizon…
“Ah, look who’s emerged from the haunted house!” one of the old biddies across the street heckled me.
“Ugh! Please don’t!” I requested.
The second biddy prodded me, “Ate more than you can chew with this project, didn’t you? Are you ready to throw in the towel yet?”
I pushed back, “Not at all! I’ll be able to move in soon, don’t you worry!”
“Oh, yeah?” the first biddy reacted skeptically. “You expect us to believe that hovel is close to livable with a mailbox like that?”
“What’s wrong with the mailbox?” I went to the end of the path and peeked at it, and it stunned me to see so many letters in there! “Oh my god!” It was stuffed to the brim, so I started removing some of the contents so that the mail carrier could put more in.
The second old biddy jokingly cautioned me, “Watch out! A small gremlin could be hiding in there!”
I retorted, “If there is, I’m throwing it onto your porch!”
They seemed to take me seriously and scurried inside, which made me titter. My smile soon turned into a frown when a particular envelope caught my eye. I opened it up, and the color instantly drained from my face! I lost the comfort of knowing what I was going to do- now, I wasn’t sure where to go from here…
New Trouble, Chapter 33
Sally suggested, “What if we built a bridge? We could hang onto the handrails as we cross!”
“How would we construct a sturdy structure without any tools?” Sam contended with that proposal.
“Maybe we can ask that extremely plump lady if she has some!” Sally bickered. “We never asked her where she was going- she could have been heading to a village with a lumberjack or something!”
Luke’s eyes grew wide with worry. “Oh, god! How do we even know we went the right way?”
I adamantly stated, “We definitely did! Her path was clear, and there’s not a chance that Halorykta would make our intended route so simple!”
“There are always hidden obstacles, though!” Luke argued.
“But would one of her monsters go ahead of us and put themselves in danger?” I countered.
Luke conceded, “Alright, you win! Was there ever a remote chance of me winning, really?”
I grinned. “Of course not!”
The two of us tittered, and it was hard not to gaze at him fondly right then! He made this stressful situation easier to cope with, and he was too charming to stay distressed for too long! He gave me the same sort of stare, and I sense an attraction coming from him. My body was aching for this interaction to turn physical, but it was probably best that Sally cleared her throat to gain our attention! It wouldn’t have been very romantic to do a little kissing with monsters lurking about anyway! Libby glared at me, and I recalled that I didn’t want to see how she acted when her jealousy was activated! I scraped the idea, and I reminded myself that I shouldn’t let myself get too far with him anyhow- one innocent smooch with the potential key to Pandora’s Box could have had apocalyptic consequences!
“I say we knock down a tree and climb it to the other side,” Sally propositioned.
“We can’t cut down an innocent plant!” Willard protested. “It didn’t do anything wrong, why should its life get taken away?
Sam reasoned, “It’s either that or we find some manner of incapacitating them.”
Libby pondered, “How would we do that? We can’t even see them!”
I recommended, “They were all over the water, so if we started throwing things, we’re bound to strike some of them! Back to our old standby!”
“Does that usually work?” Willard posed to us.
“It’s hit or miss!” Luke guffawed.
Everyone but me groaned, and Sally remarked, “Just ‘cause I said I’d prefer the puns to the nasty jokes doesn’t mean I was inviting you to do any!”
Luke frowned at that, but to prevent further dialogue on this subject, I instructed them all, “Okie dokie! Everybody grab a rock and see what happens!”
The six of us each picked up some stones and hurled them into the inlet. The strong half-horse, half-eel creatures resurfaced, and they appeared annoyed by our antics but not harmed by them. Luke assessed, “This isn’t working! We’re gonna need something much heavier!”
“We have to do that for all of them?” Libby bemoaned.
“Uh-oh!” Willard glimpsed at the monsters with trepidation. “I know that look! They’re gonna make it quake again! Brace yourselves!”
Everyone prepared themselves to withstand the tremors, and just when I was starting to believe that this task was impossible, we saw a small pool of yellow liquid drifting towards them, causing the monsters to scurry away! “What the heck?” I puzzled.
At that moment, Beck reemerged and canvassed us, “Does anyone have any hand sanitizer? I had to take a leak back there!”
“You saved us! I could hug you!” Sally almost did embrace him, but then she changed her mind. “Uh, maybe I will after you wash your hands!”
“Forget about that! We need to hurry before those things return!” I articulated.
We hopped across the stepping stones, and Beck catechized, “Wait, how did I save everybody?”
As we neared the end of the forest, Luke amusedly speculated, “Do you think this place is called Nine?”
“Why would it be called that?” Sam inquired.
“Oh no! Please, don’t say it!” Sally cringed.
Luke replied to Sam, “Because then we’d be on Cloud Nine!”
The majority of the crew groaned. Out of habit, Libby kidded, “I’ve got something that’ll put you on…!” She remembered our discussion from earlier, and she hung her head low again and verbalized, “Never mind.”
Even though she annoyed me, I couldn’t help but feel pity for her. I didn’t want to ask her about it, but I got the sense that she may have been seeking the spotlight due to a general loneliness in her personal life. Plus, it was my fault she became despondent like that- me and my big mouth! I put a supportive hand on one of her shoulders and offered, “What if I set you up with someone?”
Sally, Sam, and Beck gave me a peculiar look for that endeavor, and I couldn’t blame them! I didn’t really hang out with a lot of people when I was married since the upkeep of the house kept me pretty busy, hence why I seldom went on dates myself! I kept in touch with some of my theatre friends, but most of the men in that circle would have been more interested in Willard! I was starting to panic from the growing realization that I was unlikely to fulfill my promise, and that would have hurt her feelings even further- her eyes sparkled at the premise! I began to become concerned that I was actually a terrible person…
“Is he handsome?” Libby quizzed me.
“Uh…” I racked my brain trying to drum up one male in my life that was handsome, single, and straight, and after a short stretch, I recollected one man that matched that description… “Yes! He’s a doctor with a country club membership, too!”
Libby squealed in delight, and my besties gawked at me in disbelief. Yes, I was sincerely talking about setting her up with my ex-husband, and it seemed like an insane plan, but really, he harassed me so frequently that it would have been refreshing to have him show interest in somebody else! I wasn’t certain that she was his type, so her pursuit of him may have just annoyed him, which is a fate he totally deserved! As she squeezed me and thanked me for doing this, I shrugged to my friends- I was fine with either scenario of how this crazy escapade ended!
When the path ended, we found ourselves at the foot of an enormous castle. Willard gulped, “Wow! Whoever lives here must be huge!” We glanced at Libby, expecting her to utter a salacious quip based on his phrasing, but she remained mute, so already my insane proposition felt like it was worth it.
“Do we have to go inside?” Sam frowned as he studied the front of the castle. “Couldn’t we choose an alternative method of engaging with this monster, like a strongly worded letter?”
“Saying what?” Sally riposted. “Could you please refrain from endangering our youths with your deadly lightning bolts? ‘Cause clearly you’re a being of pure compassion…!”
Beck rubbed his chin contemplatively. “I don’t see any open windows, so if the dude who lives here tells us to get lost, it could be really hard for us to sneak in!” He knocked on the drawbridge door, and it immediately opened up for us! Nobody had made it ajar, so Beck scratched his head in dumbfoundment. “Huh! That was loads easier than I thought it’d be!”
As we crept inside, I conversed, “Yeah! Almost too easy! What’s the catch?”
Luke reckoned, “Maybe they don’t expect a lot of visitors! I mean, the only other inhabitant seems to be that extremely plump lady!”
“Maybe…” It sounded plausible, but I still had my doubts.
“Get a load of the furniture!” Sally indicated to an end table that towered over us. “It’s like everything here was hit with an enlargement spell!”
Sam asserted, “If I didn’t know any better, I would say that this abode is the only commodity parallel to Jack and the Beanstalk, and a giant lives here!”
I pressed him, “A giant what?” As if on cue, a pair of humungous hands snatched us up like we were weeds that needed to get plucked! I responded to my own enquiry, “Gotcha!”
A towering figure with a tattered toga and a rather primitive visage plopped us onto a wooden counter, and as he struggled to kindle a flame for his antiquated stove, we made a bid for the exit. He spotted us, and he swiftly thwarted our efforts, “Nuh-uh! You’re not going anywhere except my belly!”
He laughed as he returned to his task, and the seven of us glimpsed at each other for clues on what to do, but everyone came up blank. Sally gestured to the balcony, and we saw a human-sized sack of lightning bolts by its entryway! I used my fingers to illustrate that we should grab that sack and flee out of the door we recently used, and Luke pointed to the giant and shrugged. I bit my lip as I contemplated how we could distract the giant so we could escape…
“Okay! In you go!” the giant declared as he put a pot of water on a burner.
“I’m starting not to like big men!” Libby broadcasted.
He reached for us, and Luke grabbed a toothpick like a spear and stabbed the giant’s palm. “Ouch!” the giant cried out.
Willard chided Luke, “Oh my gosh! You don’t need to hurt him!”
I almost wanted to push Willard into the boiling water myself for endangering us over his overly zealous morals, but prior to me getting a word out, the giant praised Willard, “Thank you! You’re so kind! It’s about time somebody was!”
“Are people mean to you?” Willard sympathetically asked.
“Yeah! Just because I eat them doesn’t mean that humans can’t be nice to me!” the giant raved. “All I get is attacked! My front door won’t even stay put since it’s been knocked down several times by all the invasions! It’s so hard to live in peace with all these do-gooders bombarding my home! It’s like no one cares about my feelings!”
Willard gave him a comforting pat on his thumb. “I care! Your feelings are valid, and you matter!”
The giant buried his head in his arms and wept considerably. Considering he was thoroughly distracted, we quietly rushed off of the table. Well, most of us did- Beck had to grab Willard and save him from himself! I snatched the lightning bolts, and we made a beeline for the doorway, which thankfully was still down! As we fled, Willard triumphantly voiced, “See? And you said being nice to the monsters was a waste of time!”
I shushed him since we were still close to the castle. We sped towards the forest, but the spikey, red lion was guarding it! “How’d it get unstuck?” Sally wondered.
From inside the castle, we heard the giant express, “It means so much to have someone who understands!”
Sam covered Willard’s mouth preceding him reacting to that, and since it was the only alternate route, we snuck behind the castle. This path was pretty clear, but we still moved with caution just in case! Soon, we came across the extremely plump lady’s cottage, and she waved to us from one of her windows! We espied the beanstalk entrance in the new distance, and I bewailed, “Are you kidding? We could’ve avoided all that trouble if we had gone the other direction?” I turned to the lady and probed, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
The giant roared in a betrayed frustration, and we knew we didn’t have long until he caught up with us. We zoomed to the beanstalk and climbed down as fast as possible. Libby lamented, “My shoe fell off!”
Luke conveyed to her as he gestiuclated upwards, “At least it’s not your head!”
We managed to get to the bottom unscathed, and as Libby grabbed her footwear, the giant peeked down. We distanced ourselves from the beanstalk, but his booming speech bellowed, “I’m gonna get you emotional manipulators!”
“Not today!” I hurled the entire sack of lightning bolts at the beanstalk. Apparently, that was too many because the entire stalk exploded! Well, you know the rest of my reaction based on the very first paragraph from Chapter One!
“Sick!” a teenage boy exclaimed to his buddy as they poked their heads out of the gym door.
A teenage girl communicated to Willard, “Principal Saberhagan? Can I go on a break?”
Willard’s exasperation over the entire transpiration seemed to torpedo to the surface because he couldn’t stop himself from snapping, “Oh, do whatever you want! It’s your stupid Homecoming! If you don’t want it to look nice before your peers arrive, that’s on you!”
The students looked stunned at this uncharacteristic display of anger from him, and Beck vocalized, “Whoa! I think we broke him!”
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to get a pedicure!” Libby proclaimed as she studied her nails in disgust before walking off in a huff.
“Well, I suppose we oughta change!” I propositioned to Luke, Sally, Sam, and Beck as I ogled our disheveled and slightly singed appearances. “Let’s just hope the only disaster at this event will be my horrible dancing!”
New Trouble, Chapter 32
The extremely plump lady pounced onto Willard’s chest, and he let her know, “Oh, sweetheart! You’re so barking up the wrong tree!”
Taking offense to that, she huffed, “Are you calling me a dog?”
“No, no, no!” Willard avidly assured her. “I just… Help me out here, guys!”
“Alright, same process!” I addressed the others. “Three, two, one- go!”
We used all of our might to push her off, and again, we were successful, but in this instance, she landed on top of Beck. Sally upbraided her, “You know, it’s kind of unfair for you to only target the men!”
Luke posed to Sally, “Are you complaining about not being a victim?”
“Not anymore!” Sally retracted her statement.
“This method is doing nothing to subdue our adversary,” Sam observed. “We should deploy a different tactic.”
I fretted, “We don’t have time to think of a more clever plan!”
Beck notified us, “Nah, I’m alright! This reminds me of a girl I dated in college…”
“Okay, let’s think! What are some other ways we could…?” I trailed off when I noticed Libby ambling off of the path. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, I can’t participate in this one,” Libby relayed to me. “I just did my nails, and they’re very delicate! Plus, I look totally fetching when I walk away from someone! Don’t you agree, Luke? Luke, do you-?”
Mid-sentence, Libby tripped and fell backwards onto the grass! We burst out in a fit of giggles, and I joshed her, “What man wouldn’t enjoy watching that?”
Glaring at me, Libby hissed, “Hey! It’s not my fault that someone left this ugly sock here!” She tossed a fez-like cap with a tassel into the bushes as she pouted on a log.
“My hat!” the extremely plump woman cried out in delight.
I ordered Libby, “Get it!”
Libby let out an exasperated exhale, but she got up and strolled over to the shrubbery. She tried to reach her hands inside, but she immediately pulled back. “Gross! There are little thorns!”
“Gosh, I thought you liked touching pricks!” Sally teased her as she approached the bush.
“Not small ones!” Libby smiled triumphantly at her comeback.
Sally rolled her eyes as she used her sweatshirt as a glove and cleared the bramble. “Big is only better if the aim is good!” Sally showed her the hat with a grin, and Libby folded her arms grumpily.
After pulling the bristles out of it, Sally handed the hat to the extremely plump lady. She gratefully regarded Sally, “Thank you! Here’s a token of my appreciation!” She handed her a jar of honey. “You may find it useful on your journey! Oh, take this too!” She handed her an orange lily. Once she placed the hat on top of her headdress, she jovially tipped it to us and merrily went down a trail opposing ours.
“All that trouble, and she just had to look ten feet in front of her?” I muttered.
“I heard that!” the extremely plump lady shouted. Before we got ourselves in deeper trouble, we hurried away from that spot.
As we trekked forward, Willard asked Luke, “So… this is what you do during your time off? Not judging, just curious!”
Luke answered, “I guess you could call it my third job!”
“Oh, Luke! You work too hard! You need to relax more!” Libby massaged his shoulders.
“I thought you didn’t wanna do anything with your delicate hands!” I needled her.
Libby snapped back, “I’ll make an exception for him! I live for his pleasure!”
Luke winced. “Stop it! It hurts!”
“I’m so sorry!” Libby apologized. “Let’s go behind those trees, and I’ll make you feel better!”
“Even if he was interested, that’s not a good idea, dude! There could be a monster there!” Beck warned her.
Libby dismissed that claim, “Oh, please! What makes you think there’s a monster right there?”
At that precise second, a red lion with a human-like face and a mane made of large quills emerged, growling at us! Beck responded to Libby’s enquiry, “That!”
“Whoa! You’re hideous!” Willard realized he had uttered that thought out loud, and he apologetically conveyed to it, “Oh, that was mean! Forgive me!”
“Don’t worry about the monster’s self-esteem!” I recommended as I pushed him out of the trajectory of the quills that it launched off of its body.
We all sought refuge behind the slender trunks, and once it appeared that the immediate peril subsided, it occurred to me that I had accidentally positioned myself close to Luke! His hold was so strong, but his warm touch was comforting, so it was almost tempting to stay like that for a while… I swiftly recalled where I was, and I peeled myself off of him to peek at our opponent. I grimly noted, “He’s guarding the only route out of this area!”
Sam bemoaned, “Great! How do we get past that creature? We don’t have access to any sort of weaponry from this vantage point!”
Sally glanced at the two items that the extremely plump lady handed her, and she wondered, “Maybe it’s allergic to flowers?”
“I’d say let’s offer it some honey, but I’m pretty sure it only eats meat! Specifically, humans too…” Luke speculated.
“As a maneater myself, I wouldn’t say no to a bit of honey!” Libby flirtatiously joked.
After shaking my head in irritation, I snapped, “Now’s not the time unless you wanna get an ass full of quills!” Libby unwillingly clammed up, and then I petitioned the others, “Is there some other method of using the honey aside from feeding that thing?”
Sam suggested, “We could utilize the contents of that jar to blind it. I’m not certain what would happen to an individual if they got some in their eyes, but it couldn’t be a pleasant experience!”
“How do we get close to it without getting nailed?” Beck catechized.
“I swear, if you make one remark about a different meaning of getting nailed, we’re feeding you to that beast!” I barked at Libby. Libby closed her mouth and appeared quite sullen about this predicament.
Sally indicated to the branches above the path and propositioned, “One of us could drop the honey from up there!”
Sam asserted, “The largest branch still looks too rickety for the average adult, so we would have to elect someone very slender… And, of course, it’ll have to be me! Sigh! I really need to start working out more!”
We assisted Sam in getting to the lofty twigs, and Sally handed him the honey. We watched with bated breath as Sam scooted closer and closer to the monster, and we knocked on wood that this plan would pan out. He was almost there, and our hopes of success began to rise, but then, all of a sudden, a bird swooped in and started pecking him! “Oh, knock it off! I’m not after your young!” Sam cried out. The monster caught sight of this spectacle, so Sam rolled off of the tree and reached the ground prior to getting impacted by the quills. Sam stood up looking quite vexed, and when he heard the monster snarling, he yelled, “Oh, shut up!”
Out of a fit of anger, Sam hurled the jar of honey at the monster. For a split second, we worried about losing our only possible weapon, but the glass shattered on its nose, and several pieces got buried in its skin! The monster howled in pain and rolled over in a vain attempt to remove the shards, and in so doing, its quills got stuck in the dirt! The monster couldn’t get itself out! “Oh, no! That poor creature can’t free itself!” Willard wailed.
“Don’t pity it! Run!” I instructed him. We emerged from the trees that shielded us and raced away preceding anything enabling the monster from riding itself of this disadvantage.
“Isn’t it weird how we’re on this cloud forest created by a vindictive goddess, and there’s still wildlife scampering around like everything is normal?” I mused as I watched a squirrel gathering pistachios. “Aww! That little guy is hiding his nuts!”
Libby quipped, “If this big guy needs a place to hide his nuts, I’ve got a place!” Libby ogled Luke aodringly.
Everybody groaned at that cheesy line, and Sally grumbled, “Jeez, I never thought I’d miss the puns!”
“Hey!” Luke got mildly hurt by that comment.
“Could you cool it with the sex stuff?” Beck requested to Libby. “It makes us wanna hurl!”
Libby simpered, “I can’t resist! It’s just the impulse that comes with being the town slut!”
We all halted in our tracks and stared at Sally. Sally blinked in shock and reacted, “Excuse me?”
“It’s true!” Libby expressed as-a-matter-of-factly. “I’ve slept with all of the most handsome men in town!”
“Oh, the things you learn about your colleagues when you’re off-campus!” Willard cringed.
Sam changed the subject, “We’ve come to an inlet that obscures our pathway, so my presumption would be that we are to encounter a monster in the depths of that water.”
Luke descried, “Our only avenue across is that set of stepping stones, and it wouldn’t be difficult for anything to ambush when we’re on there!”
“I’m the town slut!” Sally insisted.
“Focus!” I directed them. “How are we gonna get across the inlet safely?”
Beck suggested, “We could follow the bank to see where it narrows and just hop to the other side.”
Sam contended with that idea, “That may go on for miles, and we don’t have the time or energy for that sort of fact-finding expedition.”
“There’s no way you’ve had more affairs than me!” Libby argued with Sally. “Even if you did, it’s only ‘cause you had more opportunities, seeing how you’re much older than me!”
“Enough already!” I shrieked. “Sally is the town slut! You wanna know why? When she submits to a man’s advances, it’s ‘cause she likes him, not ‘cause she’s fighting to get the man to like her! She doesn’t keep trying to pursue someone who isn’t interested in her! So, now that this is settled, can we move on?”
I didn’t mean to do that- the words just sort of slipped off of my tongue! Clearly, my speech struck a nerve since Libby hung her head low and complied, “Okay!” I felt terrible for being so brutally honest, but I didn’t really have a chance to apologize…
Willard enlisted himself, “I’m crossing the inlet!”
“Are you sure?” Luke quizzed him. “It’s really dangerous!”
“Yeah, I’m kinda fine with that right now!” he vaguely referenced the recent drama.
We watched him jump onto the first stepping stone with pins and needles surging throughout our veins. We had no clue what would emerge from the water, but we definitely feared for his safety! So far, no one had gotten seriously injured from these misadventures, and obviously, none of us wanted to witness any casualties! I crossed my fingers for his secure passage, and I strove to convince the others, “Maybe nothing will happen, and everyone can cross smoothly!” No one believed that, not even me! We grew even more nervous as Willard prepped to bound over to the next stepping stone…
Suddenly, aquatic horses with the top halves of ponies and the bottom halves of eels floated up to the surface! We couldn’t imagine what sort of attack these strange creatures would launch, and it stunned us to view them making the water vibrate enough to shake all of the neighboring land! Willard struggled to return to shore, but thankfully, he managed to do it! He fell onto his face, and then he mumbled, “This better be mud!”
“That’s it! I’m gonna walk for a bit and see if it gets narrow,” Beck stomped off once the movement halted.
“How are we supposed to survive this?” Luke pondered.
I sighed, “Let’s hope Beck finds a bridge! Or maybe even another monster willing to throw us over there!”
New Trouble, Chapter 31
“It still looks the same!” I gasped as I walked into the gym of our old high school.
“No, it doesn’t!” Sam disagreed. “I don’t see the ropes Coch Raymond used to make us climb!”
Luke briefed us, “They took those out a few years ago due to safety issues.”
Sam balked at that concept, “What? That feebleminded activity lowered my grade, and it turns out that I shouldn’t have had to do in the first place! That’s not fair!”
“Would you rather have kids continue to do it and get hurt?” Beck challenged Sam.
“No, but…” Sam’s thought petered out mid-sentence, but he was still clearly miffed about this update.
Luke instructed us, “Grab any box you see lying around, and stick the decorations wherever you feel like it!”
I glimpsed through the nearest box and peered at the objects curiously. “Venetian masks, gold jewelry, roses… What the heck is the theme for this dance?”
“Romeo and Juliet,” Luke let me know.
“Seriously?” I cried out incredulously. “Do they know how it ended?”
Luke chuckled, “I don’t think so! Half the prom committee was too busy drooling over Leonardo DiCaprio to pay much attention to the plot!”
Sally related to that, “Same here! I’m glad there was something there to distract me from the terrible acting!”
Jokingly, Luke cautioned Sally, “Don’t say that when the students are here! You’ll cause a riot!”
“Hey, Luke!” A shapely woman strolled up to him and smiled sweetly. “The deejay wants to go over some contract details…”
“Be right there, Libby!” Luke responded to her. He turned to me and broadcasted, “If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask!”
Trying to sound as casual as possible, I queried him, “I do have one question… Who’s Libby?”
Luke genially filled me in, “Oh, she’s the British Literature teacher.”
“And she approved of the theme?” I reacted in aghast. Luke tittered and shrugged prior to joining Libby at the deejay booth, and I muttered, “I don’t like her!”
“But, how can you make such a determination based on so little information?” Sam’s brows furrowed.
Sally sided with me, “I get that! She gives off snake vibes with that low-cut getup and come-hither eyes- she’s giving you real competition!”
I became defensive at that insinuation, “What are you talking about? Luke and I aren’t a couple, and we may never be if he turns out to be the key to Pandora’s Box! He’s free to date whoever he wants!”
“Oh, Penny, you know that’s not true, or else you wouldn’t have worn such a flattering outfit!” Sally contended.
“It’s just a spaghetti strap dress!” I argued. “I guess it shows off my figure a little, but if I were trying to capture his focus, I wouldn’t have worn a t-shirt underneath it! Do you think it’s too late for me to take it off, though?”
Beck theorized, “You wanna get into your gown early to look prettier than Libby? He’s worked with that skank for ages, probably, and he still chases after you, so you’re fine, dude!”
I blushed profusely upon hearing that. “What do you mean? He’s just…! I’m…! Um… It’s fine! I’m fine!”
None of my besties believed my rickety claim, but thankfully, they didn’t have time to deliberate the issue because a red-headed man with freckles and a clipboard approached us and asked, “Can I help you with something?”
“Oh, no! We came with Luke to lend a hand in the decor!” I answered. I recognized that we were basically just lurking on the outskirts of the dancefloor, so I hastily grabbed the box in front of us to appear as believable as possible.
“Great!” he chirped. “Well, I’m Principal Saberhagan, and I’m super excited to have you on our team! Welcome aboard!”
We thanked him, and once he was out of our earshot, Beck remarked, “That guy’s energy though! I think I got a cavity just listening to him talk!”
I discouraged that viewpoint, “Be nice! At least he’s not shunning us or trying to hire us to do witchcraft like other people in Adonis Shores are doing right now!”
“That’s true!” Sam acknowledged. “At least he won’t behave like a malcontent when he gets dragged along on whatever monstrous ensnarement we partake in tonight!”
“Oh, don’t say that!” Sally chided him. “I mean, I know she’s evil, but I don’t think she’d strike in a room full of children!”
Beck pointed out, “She’s already ambushed us with kids around! Remember what happened a couple of days ago?”
Shuddering slightly at that memory, I articulated, “I try not to! It’s possible she’d ruin the kids’ Homecoming, but I doubt she’d actually do it ‘cause, so far, the youngsters who get involved with this crap have been more helpful than the adults!”
“Negative!” Sam disagreed. “She would choose to strike when the potential damage is maximal! She’s going to strike today!” As if on cue, there was a tremendous thump outside, and the impact of whatever enormous commodity that was out there shook the building significantly! Sam folded his arms sullenly as he grumbled, “Well, I was still right about what day she would act!”
“What’s going on?” Principal Saberhagan inquired from the other side of the room.
Covering the side door I was peeking out of, I replied, “Nothing! Everything’s totally normal!” Principal Saberhagan didn’t quite believe me, but he didn’t voice any objections. Once he was satisfied, I requested to Luke, “Could you come here for a second?”
Luke notified the deejay, “I’ll be right back!”
“Uh, no! He’s busy right now!’ Libby steered Luke’s shoulder so he faced away from me.
“Well, that may be, but he needs to come here and get busy with me!” I realized how that comeback sounded, so I tried to clarify myself, “That’s not what I meant!”
Luke freed himself from Libby’s grasp and relayed to her, “You can handle this!” Libby opened her mouth to protest this decision, and he probed, “Isn’t that why you named yourself co-chair of the Homecoming committee?”
Twirling her hair in a mischievous guilt, Libby affirmed, “Not exactly…”
After rolling his eyes at her, Luke marched over to me, leaned in, and catechised in a low tone, “Is there a monster?”
“Monster is a bit harsh! She’s a bit of an animal, but…” I mulled it over for a moment, and then it registered to me who he was referring to. “Oh, you mean outside! Well, it’s… something…!”
“Are you serious?” Sam griped as I made the door ajar enough for them to see what was out there.
Libby, the deejay, and Principal Saberhagan all glanced up when they heard his outburst, so I put on a nonchalant visage and communicated, “We’re gonna take care of something out here real quick! Excuse us!”
We dashed out the door, and in the middle of the parking lot, we beheld a giant beanstalk reaching up into the clouds! Sam complained, “This is an element of a narrative that originated in Medieval England, not Ancient Greece!”
“Actually, early versions of Jack and the Beanstalk go back five thousand years to the Indo-Pacific region,” Luke corrected him. “The Greeks probably did trade there and repeated their own version to their homeland. They didn’t have the printing press yet, but popular tales stuck around through an oral tradition.”
“Did someone say oral?” Libby emerged with a sly smirk.
I riposted, “Are you for real? Don’t you see that giant thing over there?”
Libby shot back, “Oh, I’m sure it’s giant! That’s why I came out here!” She finally noticed the beanstalk, and she grew bugged-eyed. “Oh my gosh! There’s a huge plant over there!”
“It’s not really posing a threat, so do we have to climb it?” Sally pondered.
“I wanna climb it!” Libby commented.
Sally barked, “Calm down, hot pants! We get it, you’re horny! No one cares!”
Libby readied herself to argue with that, but then Principal Saberhagan came outside and canvassed us, “What are my happy helpers doing out here? We got a lot of work to… Aw, why the long faces?” Everyone except Libby pointed to the beanstalk, and Principal Saberhagan blinked in bewilderment. “Oh, my! Is this a really ambitious parade float?”
“No, Willard! I don’t think any of our students can afford that much chicken wire!” Luke conveyed to him.
“You know what, I think Halorykta is losing her touch!” I opined. “We could go up there and face something really dangerous and annoying, or we could avoid the entire situation altogether by chopping that thing down immediately! Simple as that! Nice try, Halorykta! We’re getting too smart for you!” I laughed at the perceived error in her logic, but then a bolt of lightning struck behind us! We ran forward, and more came down! I backtracked my previous statement, “Okay, maybe her plan wasn’t that simple after all!”
We sought refuge on the beanstalk, and we watched lightning continually striking all around us without pause. Willard fretted, “Heavens to Betsy! This is quite the unusual meteorological event!”
Beck verbalized, “This isn’t a weather front, dude! Regular lightning hits the tallest point, and if this was typical behavior, the lightning would’ve hit that flagpole! …or this plant!”
“Someone’s doing this on purpose?” Libby pondered.
“Yes, so long story short, we incurred the wrath of an ancient goddess, so now we have to survive the ensnarements that she sends out to us,” Sam apprised them.
Willard protested, “Wait, why are we keeping that story short! I feel like angering a goddess is something you should probably elaborate on!”
Sally informed him, “Yeah, that’s fair! But, we don’t have a minute to spare here! We’re gonna have to get up there and fight some monsters before the Homecoming attendees arrive!”
“Monsters? Ew! I don’t wanna do that!” Libby refused.
“Oh, thank god! Just stay here ‘til we’re finished!” I directed her as we began scaling the vegetation.
Libby espied Luke in our mix, and she called out to him, “Don’t worry, Luke, baby! I won’t leave you!” We all groaned as she joined us.
I wasn’t certain what to expect upon our entrance, but I anticipated a floor comprised of clouds and a plethora of fairy tale elements, but we entered into a forest full of tall, skinny trees and leafy, green herbage! The ground was solid like regular grassland, too! Willard exclaimed, “Did someone spike the punch already? I must be hallucinating!”
“You can tell yourself that if it makes you feel better!” Luke suggested.
“Oh, Luke! I’m so scared! Hold me!” Libby pressed herself against him in a melodramatic fashion.
Luke buzzed Willard, “Can I file for harassment even though we’re technically off campus?”
Sam warned Libby, “Listen, there are a lot of craven creatures during these encounters, so we need everyone’s hands free!”
“But-!” Libby quarrrled.
“No!” Sam adamantly decreed. “We have a job to do! We can’t have anyone rolling around together!”
Right after he spoke, an extremely plump lady popped out of a bush and tackled Sam! As they tumbled on the floor, Libby carped, “Well, that’s not fair! How come you get to do it!”
When their movement ceased, the extremely plump lady landed on top of his chest! Her obtuse nose poked out of her headcovering, and her bulbous eyes fiendishly gawked at him. She commanded, “Give me back my hat!”
“Sure, no problem!” Sam obliged.
“You know where it is?” Sally glimpsed at him in surprise.
Sam admitted, “No, but I hoped she’d get up if I said that!”
I determined, “We’re gonna have to push her off!”
“What’s gonna happen if we do that?” Willard wondered.
“We’re about to find out!” I asserted. Everybody but Libby prepared themselves to bombard her with all of our might, and when we finally sprang out and used our entire force, she tumbled off! But then…
New Trouble, Chapter 30
“Penny, have a seat,” Mister Macquire invited me.
“I always sit down when I come to work! Why would today be any…?” I cut off my own sentence when something he said registered to me as different… “Did you just call me Penny?”
Mister Macquire stated, “That’s what my daughter calls you.”
My stomach sunk. So, my worst suspicion was confirmed- he was the Mister Macquire Cassandra’s babysitter was referring to last night! I felt myself emerge on tenderhooks as I stood in the lobby, and I hoped I could save my job with plausible deniability, “There are a lot of women named Penny out there! Maybe Penny Marshall is directing a picture in Adonis Shores…”
“Does Penny Marshall also wear those same horrible flats with a bow that you think match everything?” Mister Macquire countered.
“She might!” I contended. “And, they’re black- they do match everything!”
Mister Macquire crinkled his nose in disgust. “They still smell like horse feces!”
I lamented, “Still? I spent half the night scrubbing them!” He gave me a discerning look, so I explained, “Look, it’s not my fault! Cassandra ran up that hill ‘cause she was unsupervised, and the oracle put a barrier up after she joined us, so it was too late to send her back! We kept her safe, though, my friends and I should get credit for protecting her from monsters!”
“I’m not interested in discussing the supernatural stuff!” Mister Macquire barked.
“You’re not?” I puzzled. “Wait, have you dealt with it before? Or, maybe Cassandra did?”
Mister Macquire let out an exasperated exhale. “I don’t understand any of that gobbledy-gook, but I’m glad she was shielded from danger! I appreciate you keeping her alive, but you didn’t show much consideration for my property! She was wearing silk- how could you let her go swimming in that?”
I stared at him in aghast. “Seriously? Out of all the things you could get mad about, that’s what you fixated on? It’s not like it was cold outside- who cares if she got a little wet!”
“You can’t get silk wet! It damages the material!” Mister Macquire cried out.
“I’m sorry! It just never occurred to me that someone would send a child to the movies wearing something expensive and delicate!” I defended myself.
Mister Macquire muttered, “Angelica told me they were going to the theatre, so I assumed she was attending an orchestra concert! I can’t believe I have to fire two people within twenty-four hours!”
I responded to that notion, “You’re firing me for staining a dress? I didn’t even do it during working hours!”
“Look, I can’t trust you now, so I’ve told the temp agency not to invite you back. Please, empty your desk!” Mister Macquire requested.
“It is empty!” I affirmed.
Mister Macquire blinked in surprise. “Oh!” The phone rang, and he inquired, “Are you gonna answer that?”
I angrily replied, “No! You just fired me!”
Huffing impatiently, he grumped, “Well, since I’m stranded without a secretary, you could pick up the slack before you go! If you could also grab the mail on your way out, that’d be great!” I wanted to tell him what he could do with his mail, but I was too livid to summon the words, so I simply stormed out.
“Excuse me, ma’am! Are you a registered voter?” a man with a clipboard petitioned me outside.
“Not now!” I spat.
The man trailed me and articulated, “Fantastic! I have the forms to make sure you can participate in next month’s election!”
I irately conveyed to him, “I am registered, but I’m in no mood to talk to anyone right now, so goodbye!”
“Can I get a signature to lower the amount of salt put into our food?” the man shouted after me.
“Listen, I…” I contemplated that concept for a moment, and then I changed my mind. “Actually, yeah! That’s a cause I could get behind!” After I hastily signed his form, I felt my nerves become slightly alleviated imagining Halorykta’s reaction to that ballot measure!
When I got home, I didn’t want to cry! Well, actually, I physically felt the impulse to blubber endlessly ready to burst out, but mentally, I wanted to do something to fix everything, just erase the pain this incident created like it never happened! I was determined to bounce back on my feet right away, so much so that I didn’t want to sit down! I did not need that job- well, I did need the work, but I thought I could get another job somewhere else! …Except I couldn’t, which is why I took that horrible job in the first place! My mind was so muddled, and I recognized that the only way to get my innermost turmoil out was to do some venting…
It was still early, so I reckoned everyone else was with their employers, which meant there was only one person I could call… I steeled myself up and reluctantly hit five on the speed dial… “Penny!” my mom greeted me in surprise. “Was there another blackout at your job?”
“It’s not my job anymore! I was fired!” I revealed.
“Fired? Why? What did you do?” my mom quizzed me in appal.
My initial response was to get upset that she would automatically assume I was the one who erred, but once I fought the urge to argue with the queen of stubbornness, I realized I had a real conundrum on my hands- what on Earth would I tell her about that night? I brought my boss’s daughter to a mythical mountain where she helped us fight monsters sent by an apocalyptic goddess, and her father didn’t like how I handled that? Well, there was one aspect of that debacle that I could discuss with her… “I accidentally stained his little girl’s clothes!”
I anticipated my chiding me for my neglect, but to my surprise, she reacted indignantly on my behalf, “Well, that’s a stupid reason to terminate someone!”
“You really think so?” I was floored that my mom was actually showing me some solidarity! Perhaps this juncture wasn’t a total loss after all…
“Absolutely!” she confirmed. “You don’t need to work for such a shortsighted person!” My heart swelled under the presumption that my mom had, indeed, intended to give me the support that I desperately needed, and I made certain to savor that second of delight… Literally, it didn’t last long since she added, “You have a potential husband that can take care of you!”
Even though this was entirely on brand for her, it still took me a lengthy stretch to absorb what she was trying to tell me. “What?”
My mom elaborated, “Mister Foster makes a considerable sum as a personal banker, but even if he lost that position somehow, his family is fairly well-off, so you’d be fine no matter what happens! Oh my dear, give him a chance! You would never worry about finances again, and you could free yourself of the curse! Just picture it, Missus Penny Foster!”
“That sounds more like a cheap beer than a title to be proud of!” I riposted. She bristled at my remark, but preceding her lecture on my attitude, I challenged her, “What would you do if I married a poor man?”
“Don’t get romantic on me!” my mom shot back. “We need to be practical here- now, what are you gonna do? How are you gonna get by?”
I assured her, “I have enough to get by for a little while!”
She probed, “And, after that?”
So much for getting some maternal comfort! I didn’t know what to say, but thankfully, someone knocked on the door. I sarcastically regarded my mom, “That’s the bum I picked up at the beach- we’re gonna go boil a can of beans over a campfire together!”
“That’s not funny!” my mom snapped.
“I’ll tell him you said hello!” I joked before hanging up. I smirked picturing her fury if I carried through with that premise and wedded a school teacher with a meager salary, but gut wrenched as I recalled that I couldn’t be with him in case he was the key to Pandora’s Box! This day was emotional torture, and I prayed that whoever had come to visit wasn’t planning on adding to my pile of misery!
It was a relief to see Sally on the other side of that door! Although viewing her in casual clothing on a weekday was a bit odd… “You’re off today?” I asked her.
She comically answered, “Totally! Also, I skipped a shift at Paymart to go to a gynecology appointment! I had a morning appointment, but I took the entire day off ‘cause it’s awkward to do a shift right after you’ve been probed!”
“How’d it go?” I posed to her as she sat on my couch.
“Oh, bad news… That hunk of a doctor working on me examining me was married!” Sally grinned.
I laughed, “Who picks a medical office based on how attractive the staff is?”
Sally corrected me, “Actually, my friend in the Poetry Club is the receptionist at the clinic… Of course, that’s why she recommended it…”
“Makes sense!” I glanced at her jovial behavior, and I grew curious about something. “How did you know I was here?”
“I called that architect’s number to see if you wanted to do an early lunch, and that douchebag told me what happened,” Sally filled me in. “If it makes you feel any better, he sounded overwhelmed and close to tears!”
Scoffing at that image, I commented, “Good!” After that brief moment of levity, I articulated, “It’s not like I’ll miss it there, but I’ll miss the paychecks!”
Sally expressed, “You’re so lucky!” I glimpsed at her questioningly, so she clarified, “You got to leave that environment! I’ve been at mine for oever twenty years, and I haven’t been able to get away! My only experience is in retail, and it’s not like I’d have better luck at another store- they’re all run the same! I’d be willing to give another place a try though, but I never have the time to go looking elsewhere! Do you know how hard it is for them to let anyone go? I didn’t even tell them I took the day off ‘til five minutes before my shift was supposed to start- they just accepted it! Psh! I’ll be stuck there forever!”
“Hmm, I never thought anyone would be jealous of what I went through!” I bemused. “I know, the universe just paved a path for me to go somewhere more fun, but I struggled to find work before this, and I really don’t wanna go through that again! Then, I talked to my mom about the situation, and she suggested I get hitched to that horny banker of hers! He makes Ned look like a Casanova!”
“Why would you go to her for something like this?” Sally pondered. “Don’t you usually run to Kitty for these kinds of issues?”
I cringed at her bringing up this sore subject. “Sally, I can’t see her ‘til I figure out if her son could accidentally obliterate humanity! I don’t know if she’s discovered that I was the one her son has feelings for or not, but I don’t wanna hear her try to put us together when we gotta stay apart! Then, if he’s not the key, and the relationship doesn’t work out, I’d lose her friendship too!”
Sally pointed out, “So, you’re not going to her salon ‘cause you’re afraid of not going to her salon?”
“Oh, gosh! It’s already happening!” I exclaimed.
“Listen, no one’s gonna push you to do something you’re uncomfortable with! Personally though, I think the best way to get over something is to get under someone! But, since Luke is teaching class right now anyway, we’ve gotta try something else! Let’s go chat with Kitty and then go to lunch- my treat!” Sally advised me. I was still hesitant, so she supplemented that with, “I went looking for you at Goldi Locks first, so she’s expecting you to come tell her all about it!”
I groaned slightly, and then I verbalized, “Alright, but if the topic of romance comes up, can you bring up something else?”
Sally agreed, “You’ve got it! It’s gonna be a fun day! …As long as no monsters show up!” She knocked on my wooden table for luck as I grabbed my purse, and I concluded that I should probably forget about job hunting and work on ending this end-of-the-world adventure once and for all!
New Trouble, Chapter 29
An alluring man in a dark toga & matching cape gave Sally a devilish grin as he broadcasted, “Where are you going so fast?”
Sally batted her eyes coquettishly as she communicated with him, “I do everything fast!”
“Oh, brother!” I shook my head as I viewed her instantly forgetting about our quest.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you over there, beautiful!” the male nymph poured on the charm as he addressed me. “You radiate wisdom and kindness- you could be a goddess!”
Inwardly, I knew what game he was playing, but it was hard not to blush as he spoke! “Oh, stop!” I bashfully turned my head, and when I caught sight of Luke’s visage, I recognized that he was about to voice his opinion on my hypocrisy, so I composed myself and thwarted him from airing his argument, “This is not the same thing!”
Luke folded his arms defiantly. “How is your behavior different than mine?”
“Because…!” Truthfully, I couldn’t come up with anything, so I simply implied he had done the opposite of what I intended to do, “I’m not gonna let a pretty face prevent me from doing my job!”
“Where are you running off to?” The male nymph blocked me from moving forward.
I bypassed him as I relayed, “I’m getting the Apple of His Herpes D! Wait, that’s not what it’s called! It was His… Oh, who cares? I’m getting the golden apple!”
He went in front of me again and coaxed, “Oh, come on! Have some fun! That apple isn’t going anywhere…”
“It might! I don’t know all the rules of this strange land!” I riposted.
“Oh, forget about her!” Sally strove to regain his attention. “Why did you ditch me? Was it the fast thing? I can go real slow if you would prefer…”
He noticed that, while Sally had been distracting him, I had gotten close to the tree, and he commanded, “Stay out of there!”
I defied him, “Go hug a landmine!”
“I’m not sure what that is!” He watched me begin to climb, and he grimly declared, “If you’re gonna play hard to get, you leave me no choice…”
“Noooo!” Luke raced toward the male nymph as he reached into the top of his toga. We both assumed he would draw out some sort of weapon, but it turned out to be a lyre. “Oh, you’re gonna perform some cheesy song- that sounds amusing, so I’ll allow it…”
I continued to climb until the male nymph strummed his instrument… the musical kind… His skills were so-so, but somehow, the melody compelled me to dance! Luke, Sally, Beck, and Sam all began to sway, and Sam fretted,” What’s going on? I’ve made it perfectly clear that I don’t like to dance!”
Beck remarked, “Whoa, Penny! I’ve never seen you with so much rhythm!”
“Shut up!” After I snapped at him, I canvassed the crew, “What are we gonna do?”
“I’m trying to make my way over to him, but I can’t get any closer,” Sally articulated.
Beck guessed, “You wanna know that instrument out of his hands?”
Sally told him, “Yeah, that too!”
“Did you know there was a Dancing Plague in France in fifteen-eighteen?” Luke regaled us. “They averaged fourteen deaths per day!”
“Thanks, Luke! That makes us feel less doomed!” Sam muttered.
Beck wailed, “We’re all gonna die!”
The three nymphs cackled at our misfortune, and the male nymph leered, “You’re all in our power, and there’s nothing you can do to get out of it!”
“I got the apple!” Cassandra called out from the tree branches.
“What?” the male nymph cried out in dismay. “How? How can a mortal hear our music and not fall under our spell?”
Cassandra shrugged. “I wasn’t listening!”
Sally commented, “This kid’s starting to grow on me!”
“You’re not gonna get away with this!” The male nymph lunged toward the tree.
“Leave her alone!” I grabbed his lyre and hit him on the head with it. He struggled to get it off, and when I glanced at the female nymphs, they slowly backed away. I directed those of us from the twentieth century, “Let’s move on from whores to boars!” Luke assisted Cassandra out of the tree, and we all left the grove.
As we trudged up the giant staircase, Cassandra petitioned us, “Um, I’ve got a question…”
Beck responded, “That’s fine as long as it’s not about the candy!”
“What is that oracle lady gonna do with this apple?” Cassandra peered at it inquisitively.
“No clue!” Beck conveyed to her. “You can ask her when we see her again.”
Cassandra posed to him, “I’ve got another question… How long do I gotta hold this?”
Beck patted down his cargo shorts. “Sorry, kiddo! I don’t have enough pocket space ‘cause of all the…candy…”
“I can help you clear some space!” Cassandra eagerly grinned at him.
“No way!” I determined. “You’re not getting anything ‘til we hand you back to your babysitter- that’ll be her punishment for not keeping an eye on you!”
Sam probed, “Shouldn’t we reward her, though? We might have perished in that second task if she hadn’t joined our journey!”
I considered that notion for a moment, “Hmm… No, ‘cause she needed to come along, but she didn’t need to be full of caffeine and sugar!”
“What? That’s not fun for you guys?” Cassandra inquired.
“Not really,” Sally replied. “We need those things just to keep ourselves awake!”
Cassandra opined, “Being a grownup sounds hard!”
Sally agreed, “You have no idea! Stay blissfully ignorant! Why don’t you go frolic in the grass or something?”
“That may not be such a good plan,” Luke cautioned against that suggestion as he studied a statue close to the sidewalk. “Our next monster may join us out here soon…”
“We are getting close to their abode; however, I don’t believe there is concrete evidence indicating that they might emerge to defend their territory,” Sam disagreed.
Luke contended, “Oh, really? Does that statue depict the usual serenity used by art models?”
Sam glimpsed at it and frowned. “Well… perhaps they have dubious tastes in their decor…”
“There’s another one! I’ve never seen an Ancient Greek artwork where the subject was terrified,” Sally put in.
“Nothing about this experience is normal, though!” Sam quarreled.
Luke apprised us, “This looks like Medusa’s handiwork! If you look her in the eye, you’ll turn into stone! Or a pillar of salt… either way, it’s not good!”
I edicted, “We’d better head up there walking backwards, just in case!” I started to do that, but it was more difficult to keep my balance than I anticipated. “This isn’t working!”
“I’m not having any problems!” Cassandra let us know as she swiftly ascended the steps. Seh went a little further, and then she crashed into something. “Oh! Sorry, Mister Statue!”
“Excuse me, but I’m not a statue! And, I’m a woman!” a husky female voice huffed.
I presumed, “Medusa?”
She confirmed, “Yes! Who are you? One of you isn’t that jerk, Perseus, are you?”
“No, no!” I assured her. “We just came for the Erymanthian Boar!”
“Ugh! Why does everyone want to take my pet?” Medusa grumbled.
Luke commentated, “I didn’t know you owned any animals!”
Medusa filled us in, “It was just nice to have something willing to look me in the eyes! I don’t know why he’s the exception, but nonetheless…”
“So, you’re probably not gonna willingly part with him,” Sally inferred.
“Take a wild guess,” Medusa vociferated.
Beck ventured, “Yes, you will?”
Medusa spat, “No!”
“Damn!” Beck lamented.
“Oh, great! We have to battle her now!” I griped.
Medusa scoffed at that concept, “You six are going to fight me? Good luck!”
Luke encouraged us, “Alright, guys! We can do this!” We considered the mechanics of this endeavor as our backs were turned to our adversary, and everyone became doubtful. Luke supplemented his assertion, “Somehow!”
“There are lots of rocks! We can still hurt her!” Sally picked up a pebble and tossed it behind her. “Did I get her?”
“Not even close!” Medusa laughed. Shortly afterwards, she shouted, “Ow!”
Sam celebrated, “Bullseye!” He did it again, but he didn’t hear a response. “Gosh darn it, she moved! Get her to say something else so I can calculate her position and the angle I should throw my projectile!”
Beck recommended, “Let’s just keep throwing in different spots! Something is bound to hit her!”
We continued to pelt stones rearwards, but nothing seemed to have much of an impact. I assessed, “This is dumb! We’re not gonna defeat her like this!”
“Does anyone have a mirror?” Sam catechized.
“What would we do with that? See her laugh at how much we suck?” Sally shot back.
Cassandra exclaimed, “Uh-oh!” We glanced at her in alarm, and we were relieved to behold the Erymanthian Boar eating the golden apple out of her hand! “Is the oracle lady gonna be mad?”
Luke consoled her, “No! In fact, she-!” Mid-sentence, he lunged at the boar. He managed to nab it, and it squealed as Luke barreled down the hill.
Medusa roared, “Hey! Get back here with that!”
Sam stuck his leg out, and Medusa tumbled face-first onto the grass. Beck dragged a large boulder onto her hair, which resulted in a lot of hissing. Beck queried, “Are those real snakes on her head?”
“Who cares? Let’s get out of here before she frees herself somehow, and we gotta duke it out with her for real!” I instructed them as Medusa struggled to release herself from that restraint.
“We completed your stupid quest!” Sally declared as we handed the boar to the oracle.
The oracle’s brows furrowed. “Why did I have you bring me this? I don’t have any use for it! Oh my Zeus, I must’ve been really high!”
Beck sympathized, “I feel that!”
“Under the influence or not, a promise is a promise!” I admonished her.
“True!” the oracle sighed. She snapped her fingers, and then she notified us, “The barrier is gone. You may leave! You’re welcome to join me here tomorrow, though- I’m making fried cheesecake!”
Sam rubbed his chin contemplatively. “That actually does sound rather appetizing…!” We stared at him reproachfully, and he clarified, “I wasn’t actually going to do it!”
As we approached the bottom, the small mountain disappeared! We plummeted a short distance to the Supernova Cinema parking lot and landed in a heap. “Really? She couldn’t wait until we got down?” I muttered. “Halorykta is such an asshole!”
“Ooh! I’m gonna tell my daddy how much you swore!” Cassandra joked.
“Why would I care about that?” I chuckled. I pat her head, and she giggled. “Thanks for your help, kid!”
Before she could say anything back, a teenage girl stomped over and yelled, “There you are! Get your tuckus over here now!” She turned to her boyfriend and decreed, “I’m gonna have to tell Mister Macquire what she did!”
My eyes grew wide upon hearing that. “Macquire? Oh no! …Well, my boss can’t be the only Macquire in this city, right?” Sally crossed her fingers, and while we walked towards Beck’s truck, I prayed that, if this was indeed the same Macquire as my employer, that he was just as neglectful as his babysitter so he wouldn’t hear his daughter’s story…
New Trouble, Chapter 28
“Ugh! My knees!” Sam groaned as we began ascending the giant staircase. “I imagine I would have had an easier time with this if I used them more!”
“I’m not having any trouble!” Sally stated as she strode up the steps. We gave her a look, and she quizzed us, “What?”
Luke attempted to buoy our spirits, “Yes, I know this is hard, but at least we’re making progress!” We glanced down at the nearby parking lot for Supernova Cinema, and he insisted, “We’re still further than where we started!”
I lamented, “Why couldn’t these monsters have shown up when we were in our twenties? I wasted so much limberness cleaning up after my stupid ex-husband!”
“Well, at least we don’t gotta worry about anyone in the general public getting hurt!” Beck brought up. As if on cue, a little girl in pigtails skipped past us! “Damn it!”
“Ooh! You said a swear!” the little girl reacted in aghast from above us.
I implored the little girl, “Please, get down here!”
The little girl taunted us, “You’ll have to catch me first!”
We watched her venture off of the main route into a cave with smoke billowing out of it, and Beck wondered, “Whoa! Why would anyone willingly go in there?”
“Don’t worry, kid! We’re coming to save you!” Sam avowed. As we lumbered up the stairs, he added, “Slowly!”
“Do you think it’s a dragon?” Luke posed to us.
The little girl’s voice echoed out, “Wow! You have a lot of neat stuff!”
Sally responded to Luke, “If it is, it’s apparently friendly!”
We reluctantly entered the cave, and the further we went inside, the more it started to look like an apothecary! There were all sorts of vials, plants, rocks, and other oddities strewed about the natural shelves on the walls, and the torches that lined our path crackled in various colors. At the end, we beheld a woman with a blindfold on standing over a cauldron with billowy steam emanating out, and the little girl was checking out various curios that surrounded the carpet the woman was standing on. The woman exasperatedly shouted, “Stop that! Where are your parents?”
“That’s a great question!” I muttered.
“Ah! The Chosen Ones have made it!” the woman acknowledged our presence. “Welcome to your destiny! I…! Why would you bring a child along for an important quest?”
I articulated, “We didn’t! She… Wait! What do you mean, quest?”
The woman filled us in, “I, the Oracle of the Ford of Taurus, hereby delegate you with tasks that you must complete in order to move the barrier off of the bottom of this mountain and give you access to your homes once more!”
“Hold on, there’s a barrier?” Sally looked at her with alarm. “So, no one can lose interest in this quest and go home?” We gazed at her in shock, so she clarified, “Not me! I meant the kid over there!”
“My name is Cassandra!” the little girl chirped.
Sally dryly conveyed to her, “That’s nice!”
Beck queried, “Who put the barrier there?”
“I did!” the oracle affirmed.
“Why? That’s so lame!” Beck griped.
The oracle shrugged. “I don’t know why I did it! But, the magic has already been evoked, so you have no choice!”
Luke prompted her, “What are the tasks?”
“First, you must clean the Augean Stables. Second, you must obtain an Apple of Hesperides. Third, you must capture the Erymanthian Boar and bring him to me alive,” the oracle decreed.
“Cleaning stables?” Sam crinkled his nose at the prospect.
I advised him, “Don’t complain! At least there aren’t any monsters involved!”
The oracle disputed my statement, “Oh, no! There are plenty of beasts and mythical creatures on this mountain!”
“Of course there are!” I sighed. “We gotta clean, babysit, and fight supernatural creatures? What a bunch of shit!” Cassandra gasped, so I apprised her, “Grownups do that a lot, so get used to it! Alright, let’s get this over with!”
“So, to answer your question from earlier, Zorda is the main villain in Celestial Battles,” Sam conveyed to Sally. “You see, in the Paragon Universe, the government has been taken over by-!”
Sally cut him off, “No offense, but I really don’t care anymore! They’re probably not gonna let us back into the theatre! We always get blamed for these disturbances!”
Cassandra bragged, “I can do a cartwheel!”
“Good! Go somewhere else and do that!” Sally rubbed her temples in frustration.
“Whew! We’re getting close to the stables! And, based on the smell, it seems like we have a lot of work ahead of us!” I pinched my nose in disgust.
Luke kidded, “This quest really stinks!”
I tittered, but Beck, Sam, and Sally groaned. Sally complained, “Can this trip be any more annoying?”
“You’re doing great, son!” a half-man, half-goat creature encouraged a smaller version of himself as he tried to play some panpipes.
“Ugh! Why did I ask?” Sally covered her ears.
Beck pointed to a large building behind the goat duo and assessed, “That looks like the stables!”
Sally, with her ears still covered, questioned him, “What?”
When we got closer to the building, we could hear slight whinnying, and I remarked, “Wait, the stables belong to actual horses? I really expected to deal with some ferocious animals that’d give us a real hassle!” When we peeked inside, we espied six winged stallions thrashing around rather manically! They each had a gilded chain attached to one of their hind legs, but other than that small tether, they had a fairly wide range of movement! “Oh, okay! This makes more sense!” I huffed.
“Ooh! Can I pet the pretty ponies?” Cassandra requested.
“Uh, I wouldn’t!” Beck recommended.
Cassandra canvassed Beck, “Can I play in that water then?” She indicated to a basin with a waterwheel above it and a piping system that led to each stall.
Beck agreed, “I guess so!”
“Dang! They diverted a river to feed into their troughs! How ingenious!” Sam complimented the irrigation system.
“I found some shovels!” Luke declared.
Sam snapped out of the reverie he developed as he stared at the contraption, “Huh? Oh, right! We have to clean up after the… Why are they so angry?”
The winged horses continued their thrashing, and I mumbled, “Oh, this’ll be fun!” I grabbed a shovel and tentatively headed to the first horse, but I couldn’t get anywhere near the section that needed to get cleaned out. “This task is impossible!”
“Maybe it just needs a distraction,” Sally suggested. She grabbed a package of candy-coated chocolates out of Beck’s pocket. She then held some out on her palm, and the colt curiously sniffed the morsels. It decided to try it, and as it delightfully munched on them, Sally verbalized, “You’re easy to tame! You must be a male!”
“Isn’t it bad for them to eat that?” Beck pondered.
Sally gestured in a fashion that indicated a lack of insight on that subject. “We only have to clean the stables once!”
I went as far from the horse as possible, and I found an enormous pile of excrement in the corner. I began shovelling it into the aisle, and Luke used another shovel to heave the waste outside. After a minute or so of doing this, I denoted, “You know, this isn’t so bad!”
The winged horse began vomiting, and Beck determined, “Yikes! I guess ven winged horses can’t handle chocolate!”
I chucked the shovel out of aggravation and exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! We’re never gonna get this place cleaned! And, if we do make it home, I’m gonna have to wash these shoes before work!” I glanced at my footwear in disgust.
“You can take a bath in here!” Cassandra propositioned as she splashed around.
“That’s it!” Sam asserted. We glimpsed at him in surprise, and he elucidated, “Not what she said! If we break their watering mechanism, we can release the river, which would flush out the refuse!”
I inquired, “Isn’t that cheating?”
Sam replied, “Technically, we weren’t given any rules! The oracle said it had to be clean, not structurally sound!”
“Alright, that makes sense!” I conceded to his argument. “Okay, let’s do this before anyone catches us and tries to put a stop to what we’re doing!”
“Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I said that…!” Sally commented.
We gathered by the irrigation system, and Luke used his shovel to bash the piping. Eventually, it burst open, and once again, we got soaked during a paranormal gig! “We probably should’ve stood somewhere else when we started doing this!” Beck broadcasted.
Cassandra gleefully yelled, “Wheee!” We watched her flow with the water as it flowed through the stables. It was kind of amusing until…
A large, furry pig with tusks came out on top of the water wheel! It squealed as it swam along the newly formed spring, and Luke asked, “Is that the Erymanthian Boar?”
“Nah! That was third on the list,” I answered.
“Noooo!” the goat-man cried out. “Someone released the Erymanthian Boar!”
We watched the boar run up the hill, and I rued this loss, “Crap!”
Cassandra hollered, “I heard that!”
“Oh, you’re still alive?” Sally impassively uttered. We ogled at her in a slight startlement, and she defended herself, “What? I don’t actually want this annoying kid to kick the bucket!”
“Who’s in there?” the goat-man growled. We quickly scattered preceding a confrontation with him.
Further up the slope, Cassandra begged Beck, “Can I have some candy?”
Beck refused, “No way, dude! You’ve clearly had too much tonight!”
“Nuh-uh! I didn’t have any dessert today!” Cassandra disagreed.
“You definitely had sugar!” Beck quarreled.
Cassandra admitted, “Well, I drank my babysitter’s soda while she was kissing her boyfriend…”
I commentated, “That explains a lot!”
A grove of fruit trees came into view, and we became relieved to get this unpleasantness out of the way. Sally descried, “Oh, thank god! Now, we just gotta find the His Herpes D Apple!”
“That’s Hesperides,” Luke corrected her.
“Lovely! Since you made that connotation, now I don’t want to touch it!” Sam shuddered.
Luke assured him, “You’ll be fine! From what I remember, it’s a beautiful, golden fruit! Of course, nothing else in this land has followed much of the mythical text, so maybe it’ll be… spoiled…”
Sam shared his sentiments, “A lot of this world that Halorykta created doesn’t follow sound logic! For instance, it was night when we started, but the entire trek has been illuminated by sunshine! Why?”
“All the better to see you with, my dear!” a lady in a significantly revealing toga emerged from behind a tree and suggestively grinned at Sam.
“What? That line’s not even from a story originating in this era!” Sam grumped.
Another risque-clad lady emerged and posed to Sam, “What is that device with numbers in your pocket? Does it do calculations?”
Sam instantly perked up. “You like math?”
“I studied under Archimedes!” the second lady revealed. “I can figure out the volume of a sphere now!”
“Great Scot! I think I’m in love!” Sam cooed.
Luke warned him, “Careful, Sam! Those are nymphs! They’re trying to trick you! Listen to me, I’m a teacher!”
The first nymph smoothly strolled up to Luke and beseeched, “You’re an educator? I’m not that smart, can you teach me something?”
“Uh, no thanks!” Luke politely turned her away. He seemed very flattered by this interaction, though, so I couldn’t help but stare daggers in that direction. Luke caught sight of this and defensively spoke to me, “What? I told her no!”
“There’s a golden apple!” Sally indicated to a tree ahead of us. The first nymph attempted to seduce Beck, and Sally rolled her eyes. “It’s a good thing there are women on this mission!” She marched towards the tree, and suddenly, something hopped out of the branches and blocked her path…
New Trouble, Chapter 27
Mister Macquire stomped over to the front desk and accosted me, “How dare you!”
“I was just checking my answers for this crossword!” I defended myself as I shut my word puzzle book. “What? Does it look bad to prospective clients if I look at the back?”
“You disobeyed a direct order!” Mister Macquire growled.
I puzzled, “What order?”
He shouted, “What order? I told you to pick up my dry cleaning at eleven!”
“No, you didn’t!” I calmly argued with him.
“I said it as soon as I came in!” Mister Macquire insisted.
As respectfully as I could, I reminded him, “No, you didn’t! You told me not to interrupt you unless there was a fire, and then you barricaded yourself into your office.”
He wanted to push back against that, but it slowly dawned on him that I was telling the truth. “Oh… right… I meant to mention it to you because I need that suit jacket for a meeting at one…”
“Would you like me to get it for you?” I offered.
“Yes, please! Hurry!” He grabbed a sticky note, scribbled down an address, and handed it to me. “Thank you!”
I glanced at the address with wide eyes. “Sir, this dry cleaner is on the other side of town!”
Mister Macquire gazed at me quizzically. “Yeah, so?”
“I don’t have a car, I won’t make it in time!” I let him know.
“Seriously?” He clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Alright, fine! Since it’s a fashion emergency, I’ll spring for a cab.”
That prospect daunted me slightly. “You’re getting me a cab?”
As he flipped through the phone book, he confirmed, “Yeah! Do you have a better way to get this done on time?”
I bit my lip while he spoke to the taxi service Luke worked for. After realizing how deep my feelings for him ran, I was hoping to avoid being alone with him because I didn’t feel like I could resist temptation! What if our relationship didn’t work out, and Kitty started to resent me? I wouldn’t get to hear her wisdom or sage advice again! Oh, and the world could have ended if Halorykta happened to summon us when we’re together! Becoming his romantic partner would make my whole world fall apart in every sense of that phrase!
“Okay, Luke isn’t the only driver in Adonis Shores!” I reassured myself. “It’s a big city, and there are probably dozens of people who work for this company! Besides, I think school is in session, so he is probably still working at his other job! I’m probably worrying over nothing!” I opened the passenger door, and…
“Hey there! Finally, a passenger who won’t drive me crazy!” Luke kidded as I went inside.
I cringed at my misfortune. It would be even harder to resist him sitting so close- why didn’t I go into the back like a normal fare? I resolved to do my best to avoid any amorous situations, and I plastered a smile onto my face as I retorted, “I still might! Don’t tempt me!” Luke tittered, and as he headed out, I queried, “You didn’t ditch a job you love to do one you hate, did you?”
Luke chuckled, and then he explained, “No! The school gets out early during Homecoming week so everyone can go to a pep rally or whatever. I think today is a fundraiser craft fair. It pains me not to go and support my students, but I wanted to start this gig early so I could have tonight off.”
“Why? What’s happening tonight?” I wondered.
“My uncle got tickets to a sneak preview of this sci-fi movie coming out on Friday, and I was hoping you’d join me,” he relayed to me.
I wanted to scream, and I couldn’t tell if it was from pain or pleasure! A part of me was thrilled to get asked out by him, but the more logical part was terrified of being alone with him in a dark theatre! I wasn’t sure how to tell him no, so I just spouted, “Oh, fun! But, I… I couldn’t see something like that without Sam! He’s a junkie for that sort of stuff!”
Almost wanting to close my eyes, I dreaded seeing his response to my refusal. He was the last person I wanted to hurt, and I really didn’t want to see his sad face after I did that! To my surprise, he didn’t seem the least bit shocked by my rejection! He informed me, “I have five tickets actually! He was gonna take his wife and kids, but my aunt didn’t want them to see something rated PG-13. I think the eleven-year-old could’ve handled it, but I’m not sure about the preschooler…”
“Probably not!” I laughed with immense alleviation. If my besties were going to be there, then it wasn’t a real date, and I didn’t have to carry the guilt of evoking the apocalypse due to the poor decisions I made in my love life!
“Why do you look so relieved?” Luke asked me.
I kicked myself for not maintaining a better poker face! I was sure I would have to bring up the possibility of him being the key at some point, but it didn’t seem like the most opportune juncture in the ride my boss paid for! I’m not even sure how I would have explained how I got left stranded to him! So, I casually answered him, “Are you kidding? If I went to a film he planned on camping overnight just to get to see, and he couldn’t go…”
Luke nodded in comprehension. “I get that! You guys sound really close!”
“Oh, totally! We’ve been best friends for over twenty years, so they’re basically like family!” I mulled that over for a moment, and then I corrected myself, “No, they’re a little better than family! I hardly ever hear from my dad, and my mom is… Well, I’d call her insane, but that would be an insult to insane people everywhere!”
“What about your grandmother? The one you got the Hecate house from?” Luke posed to me.
I recalled, “Towards the end, no. She mostly just paced in her room and spoke in Greek. My cousin said it was mostly swear words, too! When I was a kid, I adored her! She used to tell all kinds of fantastic stories! Hmm, I don’t know why she didn’t mention anything about Hecate’s connection to ancient monsters…”
Luke theorized, “Maybe she didn’t know!”
“Hmm…” I contemplated that for a spell, and then I concluded, “No, ‘cause when I got the house, Doug said she was persistent about it staying in the family! Gosh, I should’ve delved into that when we saw him recently! I got distracted by all the spooky things that tried to kill us!” Luke suddenly stopped the car, so I inquired, “Is something wrong?”
“We’re at the dry cleaner’s,” Luke replied as he indicated to the posh storefront.
I giggled at the fact that I forgot what I was doing for a minute! Luke shared my mirth, and when we fell silent again, we locked eyes, which sparked some electricity between us. Luke got this hardened expression that suggested he wanted to kiss me, and I wanted to let him, but then I caught sight of the clock on his radio… “Oh, crap! I’d better hurry or Mister Macquire will have a cow!” I ran out before I got enticed any further!
Once I retrieved Mister Macquire’s garment, I parked myself in the back seat. Luke propositioned, “You can hang it on the coat hook…”
“Oh, no! Mister Macquire is very particular, and I’d rather stay here and babysit it than risk receiving his wrath!” I thought it was a lame excuse, but it was all I could come up with. I couldn’t sit next to Luke again- obviously, I didn’t have the willpower to turn him down, so I had to remove myself from the potentially precarious situation altogether. It was a bit awkward to travel with him like that, but it had to be done…
“I can’t believe we’re seeing Celestial Battles!” Sam raved as we entered into the movie theatre. “These tickets are impossible to get! How in the heck did you nab them?”
Luke filled him in, “My uncle does accounting work for Supernova Cinema. If you ever need a hookup, just let me know!”
Sally got excited about that, but Beck apprised her, “He’s not talking about that kind of hookup!” He paused and then added, “Are you, Luke?”
“It’s about to start!” Sam brought to our attention.
“This is the sequel… Do you have to know what happened in the other one to know what’s going on?” Sally petitioned Sam.
Without peeling his eyes from the screen, Sam assured her, “Nah! You’ll be fine!”
As soon as it started, it showed a group of individuals in futuristic uniforms trying to stabilize their spaceship amid smoke and flashing lights. The dashing male captain denoted, “Zorda found out about our quest to save the Gypsial!”
“What does that mean?” Sally whispered to Sam.
“Shh!” he shushed her as he remained deeply engrossed in the action.
Beck took off his coat and revealed a plethora of snacks that he snuck in. “Popcorn, anyone?”
I took a small bag, but I had a difficult time opening it. I tugged pretty vigorously, and eventually, I used enough force that I elbowed Luke fairly hard! “I’m so sorry!” I apologized profusely.
“It’s alright!” Luke winced as he rubbed his collarbone. I grew very concerned, but he consoled me, “I’m fine! I think the cross fell off of my grandpa’s necklace. I can’t find it in the dark…”
“Let me help!” I grabbed the flashlight that I sometimes used at the Hecate House and scanned his body. I spotted it near his pants zipper, and I told him, “I’ll let you pick that up!”
Luke joked, “Oh, come on!”
We both chortled, and then I realized just how close I leaned in to him during the search. I got that same romantic vibe that I felt in the taxi… I scolded myself for sitting so close to him again, and in a dimly lit space! What did I think was going to happen? I intended to pull myself away, but I couldn’t! My heart beat wildly, and I felt a certain warmth envelope my senses. He gently stroked my hair, and that did it- that sealed the deal. I wanted to be his, and as his face came closer to mine, nothing was going to stop my lips from interlocking with his…
Or, maybe something was going to stop me! A giant crash echoed into he theatre, and Beck exclaimed, “Whoa! The sound system here is dope!”
“That came from outside,” Sally observed. “You don’t think…?”
“Maybe it was just a car crash,” I crossed my fingers for that to be the case.
Sam barked, “Quiet! You made me miss the attack plan!”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Oh, don’t act like you’re not ever gonna see this again! You’re gonna watch it a million times when it comes out on video!”
“Quit it!” Sam irritably requested. “I’m not missing this!”
“Oh my god!” An usher came into the room panting. “An enormous mountain took over the parking lot! Can anyone help me find my car? My dad’s gonna kill me if I don’t bring it home!”
Sam profoundly groaned, “Noooooo!”
The usher presumed that Sam was reacting to his own misfortune, “I know! It’s so bogus!”
“Maybe it’ll be nothing, and we can return to the movie right away!” Luke attempted to assuage Sam’s spirits.
“I can’t wait for the day when weird things happen and we don’t gotta get involved!” Sally muttered as we vacated our seats.
When we went outside, we saw a giant, craggy hill with a long staircase leading up to a temple at the top, and Beck verbalized, “So… This wasn’t always there, right?”
Luke conveyed to us, “It looks like Mount Olympus!”
“So, it’s grounds for the gods?” Sam inferred. “That doesn’t sound particularly perilous!”
“Oh, come on, Sam! You know Halorykta wouldn’t put it here if it were anything beneficial to us!” Sally commented.
Luke asserted, “Well, it probably has one thing in common with the real Mount Olympus- mortals aren’t welcomed!”
I jested, “Do you imagine there’s an escalator on the other side?” No one found my quip amusing, so I sighed, “Alright! Let’s go see what’s waiting for us up there!”
New Trouble, Chapter 26
“Okay! That should do it!” I declared as I checked out my reflection in the window of my apartment lobby. I fell into a pile of mud on the way back from feeding Scully at the Hecate House, and I didn’t want to get in trouble for making the clean floor dirty. It looked like I got most of it out, and I was sure I’d get some funny looks from any neighbors who happened to pass by, but I was getting used to that sort of treatment thanks to Halorykta’s monsters…
My heart fluttered when I heard Luke’s voice behind me joke, “Didn’t Sally warn you not to wear white while this supernatural saga is going on?”
I turned around, and it was hard not to melt a little as he grinned at me from inside of his cab. He looked so dashing in his dress shirt, and I flattered myself to think he made himself appear more handsome just to impress me. I smiled at him as I articulated, “Yes, well, I didn’t have much else to wear! I planned to do laundry yesterday, but there was another incident…”
“Darn it! Did I miss some excitement?” Luke surmised.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, so did Beck’s girlfriend,” I conversed. “She was in the bathroom the whole time trying to get some stains from her monthly visitor out- she had no idea anything out of the ordinary occurred! Although she was a little confused why we all rushed out of KD Nickels so quickly like that…”
Luke apologized, “Sorry I wasn’t there! You know I’d rather fight monsters than do this job!”
I queried, “Was it really rough last night?”
“Yeah! I had to explain several times why I couldn’t drive my car into the bay to sneak this dude onto a cruise ship already sailing by!” Luke shuddered at that recent memory. “Everyone seems to have assumed I have all these magical powers ever since this whole mythical beast stuff started!”
“I know what you mean!” I sympathized with him. “In the movies, people adore the heroes who spare their city from danger! Not here, though! They act like we’re enjoying this! Man, I never imagined saving the world would be so annoying!”
Luke tittered, and then he got more serious as he notified me, “Hey, I’ve got a question for you…”
My pulse raced- from his tone, I could tell he was going to ask me out! All I wanted to do in that moment was throw myself into his arms, so I was ready to accept his offer… Unfortunately, the old lady with a walker that I saw right after we stole her ride to flee from our first monster came out and greeted him, “Oh, good! You’re here! Last time I went to therapy, I had to go with a rude fella who wouldn’t let me talk! That reminds me of a time in forty-three when…”
I waved goodbye to Luke as he assisted Missus Houston into the vehicle. He looked rather despondent about not finishing our interaction, and admittedly, I was too! Or, at least I was until I went into Artemis Arms… Once again, I forgot that Luke not only may have been the key to Pandora’s Box, but he was my favorite hairdresser’s son! I didn’t want to lose out on the one corner of positivity in a place growing increasingly negative towards me, and… Well, I didn’t want humanity to get obliterated, of course! It seemed like his client emerging onto the scene at that precise juncture was really fate intervening and sparing me from the consequences of a bad decision…
Before I went upstairs, I went to my mailbox. There was a large envelope curled up in there, and no matter what I did, I just couldn’t get it out! At one point, I yanked hard enough that I almost knocked myself off of my feet! I was frustrated until a man approached me and kindly addressed me, “That happened to me once! May I?”
After I gestured in a manner that conveyed my permission to go into my mailbox, he rolled up the envelope in a specific fashion that caused it to glide out of the slot quite effortlessly! When he handed it to me, I noticed that he was kind of cute, so I blushed a bit as I graciously regarded him, “Thanks! Gosh, you made it look so easy!”
“It’s always easy after you’ve learned the hard way!” he knowledgably cited. I nodded vigorously in agreement, and then he observed, “Oh, it’s from a portrait studio! Did you and your boyfriend get your picture taken together?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend! This is simply a headshot!” I pulled it out, and I had forgotten that the only shot I got done was the angry one. “Oh! I need to get this redone!”
The man studied the photo with a frown. “It doesn’t look that… I mean, it…” He caught sight of the mud stains on my skirt, and he went with a different tactic: “It looks like you’ve had a rough couple of days!”
I concurred with that assessment, “That’s for sure!”
“You could probably use a little fun! Why don’t I take you out to dinner tonight?” he invited me.
“Oh! Well, I appreciate the offer, but I think tonight I just wanna have a quiet night at home!” I responded automatically. I was shocked at the words that poured out of my mouth- he was pretty attractive, so why would I say no?
The man appeared somewhat hurt by my decline, but he empathized with my objection, “I get it! Listen, whenever you’re up for it, my name is Perry, and I’m in Unit Two-One-Oh!”
I appreciatively verbalized, “Sounds great, Perry! Thanks!”
As I watched him disappear into the elevator, I still couldn’t believe I told him no! He was handsome, kind, and willing to overlook my dorky tendencies, so it made no sense that I didn’t want to give this striking man a shot! It was true that things had gotten so hectic lately that I could’ve really used a restful evening alone, but a minute ago, I was very much eager to get asked out! I pondered what the sudden change of mind was until…
Glancing at Luke as his fare finally got herself situated, I realized what impulsed my decision was a feeling of guilt, as if I would’ve been disloyal to Luke to see anyone else, and I buried my head in my hands. A crush on a boy I couldn’t have was one thing, but for me to have formed such an allegiance to him meant my feelings for him were much deeper than a mere infatuation! I could tell I was getting gawked at by passersby as I stood there in the lobby looking so stressed, but I didn’t care that much! I was freaking out because it finally registered to me that I was falling for Luke!
I watched a cheery sitcom in my living room as I wore my pajamas and a messy bun while eating a pint of ice cream, but I was hardly paying attention to what I was doing. I felt like I was in such a daze while my brain furiously strove to absorb this development. I didn’t know what to do, so I supposed the best course of action was to do nothing. My focus returned to reality when the sitcom reached a romantic scene- I didn’t want to see a happy couple coming together, so I turned the channel. I let it stay on a station that was playing a classic cartoon’s Halloween special, and I felt like I was probably the only one getting teary-eyed at their antics!
The phone rang, and I saw on the Caller ID that it was my mom. “Nope! Not tonight!” I decreed as I dug into my dessert. I munched on a morsel, and then I reconsidered the concept, “Well, maybe I should chat with her. Halorykta hasn’t summoned us for a long time, and I’d hate for her to do it during our…” As if on cue, a crystal manifested above my head, and I bemoaned, “Damn! Too late!”
When I arrived in Halorykta’s lair, I observed that Beck was wearing a towel, Sally was in her Paymart uniform, and Sam was in an old-fashioned sailor’s suit. Sam explained himself, “I was trying on a costume for a work function!”
“I was planning to dress up tonight too!” Sally remarked.
“Going to a party?” Beck guessed.
Sally’s visage contorted into a mischievous expression. “No!” She glanced at my disheveled appearance, and then she probed, “What’s wrong?”
For once, I was glad that Halorykta interrupted us! She combed her long hair nonchalantly and canvassed us, “So, how are you holding up?”
“Well, I tied it into a knot in the back here.” Beck gestured to his rear.
“I was referring to the monsters!” Halorykta corrected his misimpression. Her crow gazed at her longingly, and she spouted, “No! I can’t brush you! I’ll ruin your pretty feathers!”
Folding my arms impatiently, I demanded, “Can you stop talking to your bird and start talking to us about whatever you imagine is gonna convince us to destroy the world?”
Continuing to brush her lengthy mane, Halorykta glared at me. “Excuse me! I am a powerful goddess, and I will not get bossed around by mortals!” She paused, and then she added, “I will tell you why I brought you here, but not because you told me to- I planned on disclosing some information to you anyways!”
“Couldn’t you have put it in a letter? Or perhaps an email?” Sam pressed her. “I have an email address as well…”
“Does it look like I have a computer down here?” Halorykta snapped.
Sam scoffed, “You can send powerful monsters to Earth, but you can’t use your powers to send an electronic message?”
Halorykta gritted her teeth, and then she regained her composure as she relayed to us, “I brought you here to tell you your fate!”
“You’re a fortune teller? Ooh! Who am I gonna marry?” Sally pestered her.
“I was talking about the future of humanity,” Halorykta clarified.
Beck inquired, “Is Clinton gonna win reelection?”
Halorykta replied, “I have no idea! It really doesn’t matter anyway!”
“If it didn’t matter, we wouldn’t bother to have elections!” Beck pointed out.
“I’m talking about the future of humanity as a whole! Not these trivial bickerings your leaders get into!” Halorykta roared. The crow gently pecked her as if it was trying to urge her to do something, and she hollered at it, “Can’t you groom yourself?”
I posed to her, “If you can’t get into specifics, then what could you possibly tell us that would entice us to actually hand over the key to Pandora’s Box?”
Halorykta filled us in, “As the Goddess of Salt, I know the status of your planet’s oceans. I can sense them getting warmer, which means the entire globe is warming up! That kind of atmospheric change will lead to an increased amount of disasters like hurricanes and floods! It’ll get worse and worse, and soon, widespread disease and famine will arise! Homes will become uninhabitable, and you won’t even be able to have a cocktail to diffuse the stress that this turmoil will bring!”
“What about cannabis? It won’t get too warm to grow that, will it?” Beck fretted.
“So, telling us what opening Pandora’s Box will do is supposed to convince us to give you the key?” Sally retorted.
Halorykta let us know, “No! This is what will happen without my interference! Humanity is on its way to extinction regardless of what you do, so why prolong your suffering? Why not get it over with?”
Sam argued, “The effects of Global Warming can be reversed through intervention on certain environmental malpractices, though!”
“Good luck finding politicians who will actually enforce better regulations!” Halorykta shot back.
“See! I told you this election is important!” Beck commented.
Sally affirmed, “We’re not giving you the key! It’s staying safe with us, whatever it is…”
I shifted guiltily at that last statement. I strongly suspected that my hunch about Luke being the key was correct, but I didn’t know how safe he was in my hands! He kept getting involved with fighting dangerous creatures, and if I allowed myself to get involved with him, it would only put him in further peril! Halorykta picked up on my discomfort, and she targeted me, “You figured it out, didn’t you? Surely, you must know how much safer it would be out of mortal guardianship…”
“What would you do with it after Pandora’s Box is opened?” I challenged her.
“Well, I…” It was Halorykta’s turn to shift guiltily.
I edicted, “You haven’t presented us with any logical reason to assist you, so we’re done here!”
Halorykta looked like she had more convincing she aimed to try, but the crow began cawing in her face, so she reluctantly conceded, “Fine! But, remember this- I have yet to unleash my greatest threats onto you!”
“Really? Why wouldn’t you lead with your strongest suit?” Sam puzzled.
“Get out!” Halorykta aimed her enchantments at us, and we were whisked out of her cavern palace.
When I arrived back in my apartment, I saw that my ice cream had melted, and my mom had left several messages on the answering machine. As I contemplated all that happened and all that would likely happen, I sighed and decided, “I’m going to bed!”
New Trouble, Chapter 25
“So, our next challenge is to survive a giant litter box?” Beck guessed as we beheld the myriad of dunes that replaced most of Ladies’ Petites.
“That’s a desert,” Sam pointed out to him.
Beck cocked his head as he studied the terrain. “Mmm… It looks more like a cat buried its treasure in the sand!”
Sally kidded, “I don’t wanna meet the cat big enough to bury poop that size!”
“Alright, what’s our obstacle here?” I petitioned my besties. “I mean, those hills don’t look fun to climb, but I don’t think those skeletons are that dumb!”
“They might be!” Sam disputed my statement. “They don’t appear to have any other organs, so why would they have brains?”
I bit my lip in concern. “I wish there was a way we could find out what trap is waiting for us before we set foot in this territory!”
Beck sagely stated, “If surfing’s taught me anything, it’s that you can’t properly gauge the water ‘til you dive in! Cowabunga!”
He ran into the sand, and we all watched with bated breath as we waited to see what exactly we’d have to rescue him from. Beck made it halfway up when a giant, white worm popped out of the ground! It had a circular mouth full of sharp teeth, and when it spotted Beck, it dived head-first in his direction! Thankfully, Beck was able to flee and caught his breath on a fashion display outside of the sandy perimeter. “Sandworms! You’re welcome!” Beck breathily communicated.
“Sandworms? Great!” I emitted an exasperated exhale, and then I asked, “How in the heck do we get rid of that?”
“In eighty-four, they had a movie with a similar monster,” Sam recalled. “I believe they killed it with volatile chemicals in the water. Possibly, electricity was involved, too. It’s been a while since I watched it!”
I questioned him, “How do we kill it in real life?”
Sam’s face soured. “I’m still not convinced that this is real life!”
“What we need is a decoy, something to distract the thing while we make a run for it,” Sally recommended. “Where’s that bitch who kicked us out of the library? No, I haven’t gotten over that yet!”
“No, no! We’re not doing any human sacrifices!” I glanced at what Beck was leaning on, and an idea hit me. “But, maybe we can distract it…”
I picked up the mannequin, and I was ready to throw it, but then I reconsidered that decision, “Maybe someone with better aim should do this…”
Sally took the mannequin, and we prepared ourselves to race up the dune. She hurled it towards the opposite side of our intended path, and thankfully, it took the bait! We hurried up the hill, but we could hear it coming our way again shortly after we reached that marker! We hustled as swiftly as we could, but, like every horror movie heroine in distress, I tripped! That wound up working out though because I rolled down the dune faster than I could ever move on my own two feet! The others followed suit, and…
“Ow!” The second skeleton nursed its leg when we crashed into its shins.
“What do you mean, ow?” Sam vehemently reacted. “You don’t even have any nerve endings!”
The skeleton and its desert disappeared, and Sally griped, “I’ve got sand in my panties!”
Beck glimpsed at her in surprise. “Huh! I didn’t think you were the type to wear any underwear!”
“Oh, good! My section was restored!” the library worker observed. “Where’s that mannequin? It was wearing the last of a specific sweater I wanted…”
“Can I tell her?” Sally beseeched me.
I decreed, “No! It’s bad enough we’ve gotta fight those stupid skeletons, we don’t need any more battles! Let’s go find the last jerk-ass monster!” Sally sulked slightly as we headed onto the next terrain.
We rested by the makeup counter, and Beck theorized, “Maybe there isn’t a third terrain- maybe they wanna have us survive a million laps around KD Nickels!” At that moment, the escalators behind us morphed into a steep, rocky mountain, and Beck changed his tune, “I’d rather go back to walking!”
“What kind of monster will we face here?” I speculated. “Maybe it’s a troll! Or some sort of abominable snowman! Of course, none of those things would top a sandworm! Oh gosh, I dread to picture what we’ll see!” Suddenly, a mountain goat appeared, and I became slightly dismayed. “That’s it? It doesn’t breathe fire or anything?”
“Well, it’s snowing, and none of us are really wearing the right shoes for that!” Sally responded. I didn’t really seem satisfied with that explanation, so Sally pressed me, “What? Are you complaining that it isn’t a harder challenge?”
I articulated, “Kinda! It’s so anti-climactic that it seems suspicious!” I glanced at the third skeleton at the top, and it remained neutral, so I didn’t gain any clues from it. I sighed, and then I directed them, “Alright, let’s see what happens!”
At first, everything seemed normal. The surface was a bit slick, but the rocks were big enough that my friends weren’t worried about my balance for once. Everything was going smoothly until the goat bleated and got a strange look on its face… We froze in anticipation of what action it might take against us, and we expected something really unordinary to occur… Instead, the goat hopped down and attempted to stomp on Sally’s fingers! “Hey! What did I do?” she canvassed the goat.
It targeted Sam next, but when it saw me continuing to climb, it charged over to me. I held out my hand to block it, and it bit me! “Ouch!” I cried out. It butted me, and I had no choice but to seek refuge at a lower level. “Okay, maybe this is worse than the sandworm!”
“Ugh! You are really annoying!” Sally exclaimed as it picked on her again.
“It can’t be that hard to defeat a freakin’ goat!” Beck expressed in exasperation as it hopped around between us.
Sam disagreed, “It’s a fairly arduous task when we have to use all of our extremities to keep ourselves stable on this slope! Speaking of which, slope is a fascinating mathematical subject! You see, you-!”
Sally cut him off, “Not now! Actually, not ever!”
“Aha!” I grabbed the goat by its hind legs. “If you thought you could outsmart us, you…” It wriggled around enough that I was beginning to lose my footing. “Damn it! I will not get bested by something with a brain the size of an orange!”
“We’ve gotcha!” Sally assured me as she and Sam held onto me to keep me steady.
Sam brought up, “Yes, but how are we going to reach the summit like this?”
I noticed that Beck was free, so I instructed him, “Go up there and find something that’ll help, like a rope or something.”
“I’m on it!’ Beck readily volunteered.
“What does this goat eat to get so much energy?’ I wondered as we waited.
Beck took longer than we predicted, and it grew slightly awkward to hang off of the cliff with the goat’s posterior in our faces. We stood there in silence for a spell, and then Sam conversed, “So, slope measures the steepness of a line, and that’s helpful for a number of-!”
To our relief, Beck leaned over the edge and proclaimed, “I’ve got your rope!” He lowered a chain of bras that were tied together in a continual chain, and when we gave him a particular look, he justified himself, “There’s nothing else up here but Lingerie, Kids’ Wear, and Home Goods! Don’t worry, I got some of these to distract it!” He held up a packet of panties proudly.
The three of us remained skeptical of his plan, but we gave it a shot since we had nothing else. We released the goat, and as we ascended the incline, the goat was ready to resume its assault on us. Beck used the elastic of the underwear to shoot a projectile at the goat, and surprisingly, it was effective! As we got close to the top, I remarked, “Man, these things are strong! What brand is this?”
When we got to the upper level, the third skeleton disappeared. We didn’t see where it or its counterparts went to- all we saw was a man in an apron standing in front of the sample-sized cups of soda, so we approached him. I inquired, “Excuse me! I have a weird question for you… Have you seen three giant skeleton warriors walking around this area?”
“No,” he replied. “But, I have a question for you: do you enjoy soft drinks?”
“Sorry, we’re busy right now,” I told him.
The salesman went on with his pitch as if he didn’t hear what I just said, “Because the DrinkMore Corporation has the investment of a lifetime! Imagine the money you’ll save from never having to buy another bottle or can of soda pop again! You’ll make more room in the recycling bin, too!”
At that instance, the three skeletons reappeared, and the middle one leered, “Are you looking for us?”
“Better yet, are you looking for a fantastic way to save money?” the salesman appealed to the skeletons.
“Congratulations on surviving! It will be an honor dueling with you all!” The middle skeleton withdrew its sword.
Beck objected, “Hold on! We don’t have any weapons!”
The skeleton maniacally laughed, “Ha! You should have thought of that preceding this combative encounter!”
“But, this wasn’t our idea!” Beck protested. “You showed up in our lives!”
“Best of luck to you!” the skeleton bade us prior to them advancing on us.
The four of us scattered in different directions: Sally darted into the Home Goods aisle, Sam retreated towards some women’s pajamas, Beck scurried to the bedding, and I grabbed a frying pan from a nearby stand and used it to shield myself. One chased Beck, another pursued Sam, and the main one attacked me. Beck put some distance between himself and the skeleton with a brass bed, and Sam ducked under a large rack. As I fended off my skeleton, Sally reemerged with four large blades and declared, “I have knives!”
Sam quizzed her, “How’s that gonna help? They don’t have any flesh!”
Sally stabbed the skeleton trying to harm Beck, but the blade broke. It began hunting her down, and Sally asserted, “There must be some method of doing them in!”
“Clearly, conventional methods aren’t gonna work!” I discerned. “We’re gonna have to try something different!”
“How about trying a soda fountain in your home?” the salesman suggested. “Here! Drink this and tell me you don’t want it all the time!”
He handed me a cup, and I clicked my tongue in annoyance. “We don’t want your useless soda!” I tossed the cup over my shoulder, and to my shock, the skeleton yelled in pain! I swiveled around and saw that the liquid burned a hole in its arm! “I take it back- we need this thing!”
The salesman grinned. “Excellent! Just take this tag up to the nearest cash register, and-!”
I pushed him out of the way, and I aimed the closest tap at the skeleton, which caused the skeleton to disintegrate in front of my eyes! I grabbed a pitcher, and I hurled its contents at the skeleton by Sam. Once it was taken care of, Beck filled a jug up for the skeleton hassling Sally. He sped over to Sally, but that skeleton snatched the jug from him! “Ha!” it called out in a premature victory. The jerking motion caused soda to spill on it, and it grew rather despondent at this development. “Oh no!”
Once the final skeleton disappeared, the store returned to its previous state. Before we could react to this finale, two security guards arrived from the newly reinstalled escalators. One of them pointed to us and interrogated, “You guys again? What are you doing here?”
“They’re enjoying the delicious beverages straight from the fountain that will keep serving you refreshments that are easy on the palate!” the salesman spouted to them. As they ogled him from the startlement of him selling to them at the most inopportune juncture, my friends and I vacated from the vicinity to avoid hearing another undeserved lecture from folks who had no idea how close they came to being in mortal peril!
New Trouble, Chapter 24
In front of a mystical backdrop, a man in a warlock costume beseeched, “Come on, Cher! Smile for the camera! You promised!” Cher, who was a golden retriever in a witch’s hat, stared off into the distance, thoroughly nonplussed with the entire situation.
“Cher better hurry up! I wanna get this over with!” I huffed as I readjusted the hat on top of my blonde wig.
“Oh, come on! This photo shoot is gonna be fun! Lighten up!” Belle urged us.
Sam, who wore long, brown locks and sunglasses, stated, “We didn’t come to KD Nickels to get our portraits done- we’re getting dinner afterwards at Petrillo’s Pizza because Ms. Adams has a substantial discount there.”
Belle wondered, “Why? Is Paymart connected to them?”
“Sorta,” Sally, who wore a short, red hairpiece with a giant, black bow, responded, “I met the manager there. He’s giving me a lot off the price because I gave him a lot of-!”
“Don’t make me lose my appetite!” Beck, who donned a black do fashioned a lot like a rockstar, appealed to Sally.
Belle’s eyes flickered between us in confusion. “So, if none of you came for pictures, then why are you here?”
Sam explained, “Ms. Alexander wants a headshot in case they decide to film a certain television series here.”
“Who’s Ms. Alexander?” Belle questioned. I raised my hand, and Belle questioned us further, “Oh, I never knew that was your last name! So, if you’re the only one getting photographed, why did you all buy wigs?”
“They’re Sal… I mean, Ms. Adams’” Beck let her know.
Sally conversed, “I have matching costumes, but Mister Gellar said it’d be overkill.”
Belle interrogated us, “Why are you referring to each other by your last names like that?”
“Why? Is that strange to you?” I riposted.
“Don’t look now, but there’s that bitch who kicked us out of the library!” Sally warned us.
Everybody but Belle hung their heads low as she passed by with a cart full of clothes. Belle became more befuddled than ever, and she pressed us, “Why are you acting so secretive? The different names, the disguises… It’s like you’re trying to hide from everyone at the mall!” All of a sudden, a lightbulb went off in her head. “Wait, I know what’s going on here…” We all shuffled guiltily, and we prepared ourselves to explain our supernatural misadventures to her, but then she theorized, “You don’t want anyone to know you’re the ones getting an extra discount at Petrillo’s Pizza ‘cause then they’d argue with you about fairness!”
Beck complimented her, “You’re a genius, babe!”
“I wasn’t born yesterday!” Belle smirked victoriously. “I was born during Gemini season, actually! Well, at least in this lifetime I was! My soul has reincarnated several times, going all the way back to Athens in three-ninety-nine BC…” She started clutching her stomach, and she apprised us, “Looks like my special visitor is arriving!”
“Where?” Beck glanced around the store. “Is it your Reiki teacher? I know you two are besties now, but I didn’t think you’d wanna invite her ‘cause she only eats organic food!”
Sally offered, “I have a tampon in my purse if you need it.” Belle reached for her handbag, but Sally stopped her, “You may not wanna look in there!” She dug inside and retrieved it herself.
Belle chirped, “Thanks! I’ll be back soon!”
“Oh, good! Cher and her owner are finishing up!” I observed. “I wanna get this over with before any monsters show up and ruin my shot!”
“ Your potential paramour isn’t here, though,” Sam pointed out. “I suppose one can never predict the random nature of your encounters, but so far, he has yet to be sighted.”
I blushed furiously at his characterization of our relationship. “Luke is just my friend, and that’s how it’s gotta stay ‘til we figure out whether or not he’s the key! If he’s not, then…” I got even more flustered, and then I queried, “Does Petrillo’s Pizza have pasta or something? I’m still getting heartburn from what we ate at the Calzone Shack…”
From the looks on their faces, I could tell that they weren’t interested in discussing menu options at the food court! I cringed as I anticipated their reaction to my emotions over my love life! I expected them to encourage me to take the risk, but I didn’t want to risk the apocalypse to get a hot date! I was also ready to counter with the fact that he was the son of my favorite hairdresser, too, and even if the idea of getting together with Luke seemed romantic, it just wasn’t a practical choice at this juncture. I had several arguments in my arsenal against the idea, but then…
The photographer shouted, “Next!”
“Oh, thank god!” I muttered under my breath as I dashed over to the photography area.
“What are we doing?” the photographer asked.
As I took off the wig and brushed my hair, I answered, “I need some headshots.”
The photographer brought down a plain, black backdrop and briefed me, “Okay! Well, the standard is black and white and non-smiling. We’ll do the best out of three, ‘kay? So, as soon as you’re ready, give me a nice, serious pose!” With the hecticness of the last couple of weeks, it wasn’t hard to avoid grinning! I must’ve frowned pretty hard, though, because he advised me, “You don’t have to be that serious!” I don’t think my stance changed much, but he shrugged it off. “Alright then! Three, two, one!” He took the picture, and then he suggested, “How about more of a calm, patient pose?” I was triggered by the notion of pretending all was well and nearly unloaded all of my fury of recent events onto this stranger who didn’t deserve it, but before I could utter a word…
Three tall skeletons in Spartan warrior uniforms manifested before us! Shoppers in the vicinity screamed and fled from their sight, but my friends and I stood there in annoyance. Beck complained, “Great! Now we’re not gonna have time for dinner!”
“We’ll be fine! Skeletons don’t have muscles to move their limbs or even eyeballs to perceive potential victims, so it would be impossible for them to hurt us!” Sam opined.
“Silence, mortals!” the middle skeleton commanded.
Sam reacted to this development, “Alright, how was that even physically possible? You don’t even have vocal chords!”
Sally recommended, “Chillax, dude! They’re just a bunch of bones! Compared to the other monsters we’ve faced, this will be a cinch!” Suddenly, the entire store darkened, and nearly every inch was adorned with strings of black flags, charcoal-like flowers, and demented masks and other props! The three skeletons disappeared, and Sally amended her previous statement, “I spoke too soon!”
The skeleton who just spoke broadcasted to us, “In order to have the honor of dueling with us, you must prove your worth! Survive the harsh terrain, and we’ll give you an opportunity to spare this agora from enduring this eternal festival!”
“Have you seen Luke?” Beck quizzed me.
“I told you! We’re not dating! I haven’t seen him yet, and I don’t know if I ever will!” I dramatically reminded him.
Beck corrected my misimpression, “Uh, I meant that literally! Usually, we don’t get any monsters ‘til he shows up, and a history expert might come in handy right now!”
I became abashed by my outburst. “Oh, duh!” I shook off my ill feelings and snapped back into the right focus. “Okie dokie! Well, we’ll have to carry on without him for now. If he was here, I feel like he would say he has a bone to pick with these guys!”
Sally, Sam, and Beck groaned, and Sally pleaded, “Please, no more bone-related puns! We gotta play their dumb little game so we can get out of here!”
“Yes! So, they said we had to survive the harsh terrain, what does that mean?” I pondered. “What’s so hard about surviving a department store?”
“Obviously, you’ve never worked retail!” Sally shot back.
Cher and her owner came racing back to the photography area and wailed, “Oh, my mercy me! Cher and I were shopping for shoes, and the whole darn place turned into a swamp! It’s got me more scared than a mouse at a cat convention!”
Sam surmised, “So, we have to survive a swamp? That doesn’t sound terribly challenging!”
“Really? You think a swamp created by giant skeletons will be easy?” I probed.
“I don’t know what’s reality anymore!” Sam asserted.
When we got to the shoe section, we saw that the outer shelves were still intact, but the rest was replaced with mossy water and viney trees! One of the skeletons was on the other side, and it waved to us upon our arrival. Beck concluded, “All we have to do is cross to the other end? No problem! I tread water all the time! Why is this time any different?” At that moment, several large snakes were seen swimming in the wetlands, so Beck changed his tune, “Oh, that’s why!”
Sam fretted, “If we encroach on their habitat, they’re likely to attack us out of self-defense! Our odds of survival would be extremely low!”
“Thanks, that’s helpful, Sam!” Sally dryly relayed to him. “We gotta find a way to go in! It’s not like there’s a bridge!”
“We could make a bridge, though!” I realized.
The four of us glanced around to find something that would work, and we collectively decided to use the shelf. We pushed it down, and it fell just in front of the skeleton’s feet. The shoes all tumbled into the water, and there were large gaps between the units, so Beck cautioned us, “Nobody lose your balance!”
This prompted the three of them to gaze at me in concern, and I pouted, “I don’t always fall!” They let it go, and as we began crossing, I started having doubts about the plan…
It took all of my concentration, but I was determined not to become serpent supper! Beck made it to the other side first, and Sally glided off without an issue. They both felt the need to assist me on the dismount, and I looked grumpy about it, but secretly, I was sort of glad they did it! Sam rejoiced, “Excellent! Everyone made it safely!”
Right after he said that, he slipped and landed in the bog! A snake barreled toward him, so I grabbed a platform wedge and hurled it at the snake. I missed it, but the shoe fell precisely where the snake was going to bite Sam, and its teeth got stuck in the footwear! Sally and Beck rushed to retrieve him and swiftly brought him to the shore, and Sam recollected on the incident, “I tripped on shoelaces! I used to run around with them untied frequently in my youth, so I suppose my father was right to scold me for it after all!”
“Alright, Mister Skeleton! We survived! So, now we’re gonna fight you!” I glimpsed at the four of us, and when I discerned that none of us had any weapons, I added, “Somehow!”
“I’ll see you soon!” the skeleton laughed and then disappeared.
Beck objected, “Hey! That’s cheating!”
I directed them, “Let’s just go find the next terrain!”
We passed by the Junior’s section, and Sally picked up a top. The rest of us stared at her questioningly, so she defended her decision, “What? It’s cute!”
The library worker approached us and barked, “You four! You’re behind this mayhem, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, clearly we’re enjoying ourselves with all this!” I sarcastically regarded her.
“I demand that you fix Ladies’ Petites immediately!” she ordered. “I still have a lot of shopping to do!”
Sally quipped, “What were you doing in Ladies’ Petites?”
She bristled at Sally’s audacity. “That’s it! I’ve had it with your disrespect! I wanna talk to the manager!”
“He’s over there crying in the corner.” Beck indicated to a man in a red vest, sobbing and cradling himself by the fitting room.
“This is ridiculous!” she screeched. “I’m using their phone to call corporate!”
Sam rubbed his chin contemplatively. “It might be rather amusing to see how she would portray magical skeletons without sounding completely unhinged…”
I listlessly instructed them, “No! Let’s go save the world and get it over with!”
New Trouble, Chapter 23
“Penny, can you check my messages?” Mister Macquire requested.
“You didn’t get anything,” I dryly reported.
Mister Macquire stared at me with a stupefied expression. “How do you know? You didn’t even look!”
I reasoned, “I’ve been here next to the phone for two hours now, and the only sound I heard was the pages of my book turning! Well, it’s my friend Sally’s book, but still!”
“You may have missed something! Checking messages is in your job description, so please, do your duty!” Mister Macquire ordered.
“Alright, fine!” I glanced at the answering machine, and then I informed him, “You don’t have any messages!”
Mister Macquire seemed puzzled by this concept. “Really? Are you sure?”
I pushed the play button on the answering machine, and a robotic voice articulated, “You have no new messages!”
“Oh! I see…” Mister Macquire seemed quite abashed by his surety getting proven wrong, and if he was the slightest bit conscientious, he would have apologized to me at this juncture, but I didn’t expect one. Indeed, he didn’t- he tightened his tie, and then he instructed me, “Notify me immediately when I get a call! I’m expecting to hear from an important investor…”
“Same as always, go it!” I muttered.
Mister Macquire asked, “What did you say?”
I answered with a phony grin, “I said, ‘Yes, sir!’”
He didn’t seem to believe me, but he let it go and went into his office. As I perused some poetry, I thought out loud, “Why does Sally like this one? I feel like I need a translator for this English! Even Shakespeare was simpler!” I had nothing else to do, so I continued reading until…
Moments later, the lights flickered and then turned off completely! Mister Macquire shouted from his desk, “Penelope! Turn the lights back on, please!”
“They did that on their own!” I asserted.
“What did you do?” Mister Macquire roared as he stormed out of his office.
I defended myself, “I didn’t do anything unless the ghost of John Donne heard me complaining about his masterpiece!”
Mister Macquire uttered a noise of annoyance, and then he grabbed the phone from my desk, dialed a number, and after it rang a few times, he spoke into the receiver, “Yes, I’d like to report a power outage at… Oh, I see! Well, thank you!” He hung up, and then he relayed to me, “Apparently, a couple of power lines are down, so it’ll be a few hours before the lights come back on!”
“So, I guess we’re going home early then?” I surmised.
“No one’s going anywhere until I hear from…” As if on cue, the phone rang. Mister Macquire picked it up, and he greeted the person on the other line, “Macquire’s Architecture! Yes, this is he!” He whispered to me, “Just go!” Glad to be done with Donne, I packed my belongings and left.
Wanting to break up some restless energy, I brought some cleaning supplies to the Hecate House. Scully merrily meowed by her food bowl, and I argued with her, “I just fed you a few hours ago!” She persisted, so I relented, “Here! Have a little more! While you’re occupied, I’m gonna dust the chandeliers!”
I put on a face mask, goggles, and a shower cap to cover my hair. Scully gawked at my peculiar appearance, and I justified my choices, “I’m being practical, not fashionable!” As I used a long duster, a cloud of particles fell from the ceiling, and I conveyed to Scully, “See? It’s not safe to breathe in all that junk! Besides, it’s not like anyone will see me like this!” At that moment, I heard a knock on the door! I hesitated initially, but then eventually, I decided to answer it. “It’s probably Sally, Sam, or Beck! Their jobs probably would’ve sent them home, too! Especially Beck, since he’s an electrician! Watch their face when they get a hold of me in this getup!”
To my horror, it was Luke! Luke grew startled at first, and I cringed that I was in the worst outfit possible for him to catch a glimpse of me in! Once he got over my odd ensemble, he let me know, “Hey, Penny! They shut down the school ‘cause of the downed power lines, so I thought instead of doing a long shift with my cab, I’d come see if you guys were working on this place.”
“Oh!” It was hard for my brain to absorb this development. I had gotten used to him being around for monster attacks, but I could hardly fathom him existing in other realities! I didn’t want to encourage this because I still felt like he was the key to Pandora’s Box, and it would have been just great if the fate of humanity got obliterated due to my inability to control my emotions! However, I wouldn’t have been able to stand it if I saw hurt in those beautiful, amber eyes… My logic vehemently objected to the idea, but I couldn’t resist accepting his offer, “Sure! Come on in!”
“Awesome!” Luke stepped inside, and after he surveyed the scenery, he marvelled, “You guys are gonna fix all this by yourselves?”
I sarcastically responded, “No! We’re just waiting to unearth a magic lamp somewhere in this hovel so the genie can take care of the rest!”
Luke chuckled, “It’d be a welcome change of pace if we found a nice supernatural creature for once!”
“For real!” I concurred. We both laughed, and there was a weighty pause where I felt those amorous vibes again. I was grateful that he liked me like that since unrequited love is an awful blow to deal with, but this was almost worse since I couldn’t be with him until we could verify whether or not he was the key! My rational side got filled with relief that my headgear made it impossible for him to make a move, but another part of me was prepared to toss it all off… I cleared my throat, tore myself away from him, and filled him in, “I’m a klutz, so my friends forbade me from using power tools without their supervision, which is why I’m working on cleaning. Feel free to pick up any cleansing tool and take care of anything that needs sprucing up!”
“I can do that!” Luke avowed. He took a step towards my supplies, and then Scully started rubbing herself against his legs, so he retracted his statement, “No, I can’t!”
Luke sat down to pet the cat, and my heart beat a little faster knowing that he was kind to animals! I resumed dusting the chandelier in the dining room, and I conversed, “That’s Scully! She’s my future roommate!”
Scully settled into Luke’s lap, and Luke remarked, “Evidently, Scully doesn’t mind the smell of Stamos!”
“You named your cat Stamos?” I giggled.
“That’s my mom’s dog!” Luke corrected my misimpression. “I was just feeding him while my mom’s at work- she has a generator.”
I assured him, “No judgments here! I know plenty of guys who didn’t watch Full House for the plotlines!”
Luke wondered, “How come those guys aren’t here helping?”
“Oh, I just worked with them at the community theatre. We didn’t really keep in touch after the play was over. Maybe I should have- then, I could’ve networked & got another gig instead of this one I’ve got now with that douchey architect!”
“You got a big gazebo!” Luke denoted.
I turned around in shock at his frankness. “Excuse me?”
He gestured to the backyard. “I meant that structure in the garden.”
“Oh!” I chortled in alleviation. “I haven’t even set foot in the backyard yet! I was mainly focused on getting this place livable so I can put in a thirty-day notice at Artemis Arms and save money on rent. You’re welcome to do that area if you want, though!”
“No, no! Well, I could, but I was just thinking that the gazebo could get converted into a small stage,” Luke verbalized.
I blinked my eyes in astonishment of that notion. “You mean, run my own theatre?”
Luke encouraged me, “Yeah, why not? If that’s your dream, go for it!” I had to rest for a minute as I let this wave of positivity wash over me! Most people didn’t want to galvanize this life goal of mine, but he didn’t even question it- he was aiding me in making it happen! I was touched! He checked in with me, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah! I just… I’m not used to people treating my goals as serious visions!” I admitted.
“That’s ‘cause most people don’t live with passion! They survive life, they don’t live it! Life’s better when you have a purpose and pursue what makes you happy! That’s why my family pushes each other to succeed in what they want most!” He mulled that over for a moment, and then he added, “Well, as long as they have some degree of reality! Last Saturday, at my niece’s birthday party, my Aunt Jessie rambled on and on about winning Miss Teen America at sixty-seven… nobody supported that!”
I brought up, “Why doesn’t she just enter a beauty contest for seniors?”
Luke emitted an exasperated exhale. “Don’t even get me started!”
“Your niece still had a good birthday, didn’t she?” I pondered.
“Oh, definitely! Aunt Jessie didn’t ruin, but I almost did!” He saw my look of startlement, so he clarified, “I specifically made a chocolate cake ‘cause my mom loves that flavor, and then she says she ate before she came! Who does that?”
I tittered at his anecdote, and then the front door swung up. Sally came inside, briefly got thrown off by my strange attire, and then proclaimed, “You’re not gonna believe this!”
While I continued to dust, I guessed, “The power went out, so you got to leave Paymart early?”
“Well, obviously! Look at this headline!” Sally took a newspaper out of her purse.
“‘Adonis Shores was visited by a location scout for a new docu-drama about the life of Haloyrkta, Goddess of Salt and Minerals!’ Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” I cried out.
Sally ranted, “They’re making her out to be some kind of hero! Now, nobody’s gonna believe our story! If they do wind up filming it here, I have half a mind to organize a protest!”
I pointed out, “Who’d come to our side on that?”
“Oh, right! Ugh, this is a nightmare! …Why aren’t you more upset about it?” Sally inquired.
“Well, I… Would it be so wrong if I got a job on the set?” I replied. Sally’s expression became aghast, so I explained myself, “It’d be a lie, but it still beats my current gig! Does that make me a bad person?”
Luke put in, “Those things get a lot of facts wrong, that’d piss Halorykta off, which could be fun!”
Sally noticed Luke’s presence for the first time. “Oh, hey! What are you doing here?”
“I’m helping Penny clean,” Luke stated while stroking the cat.
“Well, clearly!” Sally joshed him.
An elderly fellow outside yelled, “Hello? Mister Taxi Driver? Where are you?”
Luke slapped his forehead, and I propositioned, “You could just ignore him.”
“Oh, come on! I’ve got a hot date, and I’m already late!” the elderly fellow whined.
“Aw, I can’t say no to that!” Luke reluctantly got up, and he apprised me, “I’ve got a cousin who paints houses- do you want me to see if he’ll get you a discount?”
I accepted that recommendation, “That sounds great!”
He took out a business card and wrote on the back, “Here’s his number for whenever you’re ready!”
“Thanks, Luke!” I grinned at him.
“No problem, Penny!” He grinned back and went outside. He quickly swiveled back and addressed Sally, “Bye, Sally!”
Sally waved to him, and after he exited the building, Sally teased me, “So, did you two shack up in the shack?”
I grabbed my wallet to put the card inside. “Yes, he couldn’t resist me in my sexiest clothes! Of course we didn’t! If he’s the key, it could be dangerous!”
“Oh, come on! Half the fun’s in the thrill!” Sally urged me.
“This isn’t like your romp with the bus driver in the depot bathroom! There are real consequences to this… Huh!” I peered at another business card in perplexity.
Sally queried, “What?”
I observed, “Luke has the same last name as my hairdresser, Kitty! Probably a coincidence!” I contemplated that for a second, and then I gasped, “Kitty loves chocolate, and she ate before she went to a party! I gave her that brownie before she went to her granddaughter’s birthday! Luke is Kitty’s son! Oh, this is terrible! If I date him, not only could he get lost to Halorykta’s quest to end the world, but I could lose the one spot in town that’s keeping me sane!” I buried my head in my hands and groaned.
New Trouble, Chapter 22
“A dozen red roses for Penelope Caspar!” A delivery man handed me a bouquet of flowers.
I folded my arms resentfully. “There’s no one here with that name!”
The delivery man glanced at the address in confusion. “Are you sure? The front desk told me to come up here…”
“Only one person would call me by that last name- I don’t want anything coming from him!” I glared at the blooms as though Ned’s face was imprinted on them.
“You’re Penelope thought?” the delivery man verified.
I spat, “I refuse to accept them!”
The delivery man informed me, “Look, I can’t take them back! It’s against our policy! If you don’t want them, you can toss them! Personally, if my ex-boyfriend sent me flowers, I’d burn them!”
“That could be fun!” I reluctantly took the roses, and after the delivery man left, I got curious what the note contained. “Maybe it’s an apology for the stress he put me through lately… Nope! Damn it! That prick would give me an extra chore to do before I head out! What should I do with these…?”
“Hey, Grandma! I brought you a present!” I laid the bouquet in front of a tombstone that was labeled, “Lydia Hecate Alexander.” I knelt beside it, and I communicated to her, “I’m taking good care of your house! The cat scratched some of the furniture, but it still looks nice! Sorry I went into the basement! I wish you warned me about what was in there! What did you know about the secrets it held? You knew, didn’t you? How do I stop this from happening again? Well, if you have any ideas, just… I dunno! Leave a note or something! Help me out, please!” I didn’t expect an actual response, but I was hoping some relevant information would come to me somehow. That would’ve been nice! I dusted myself off, tripped on a rock, dusted myself off again, and left the cemetery.
When I walked into the Calzone Shack, I saw Sally silkily speaking to a handsome dude, “I’ll be free in an hour or so. After that, you wanna eat something?”
The handsome dude puzzled, “You’re not having pizza?”
“I wasn’t referring to food…” Sally gave him a wink.
“Bleck! Sory, that was involuntary!” I apologized to the pair after I gagged.
Sally promised the handsome dude, “I’ll find you in a little while!” The handsome dude grinned and waved goodbye to her, and as we walked further into the restaurant, Sally commented, “I love this place!”
I asked her, “Why? ‘Cause so many shirtless guys wander in from the beach?”
“No! Well, that’s nice too! But I just meant ‘cause it’s motley tourists! As far as they know, we’re totally normal!” Sally answered.
“A pizza is a pie, and mathematics has a pi too!” Sam regaled our waitress. “It’s represented by the sixteenth letter of the Greek alphabet, and its the ratio of the circumference of the diameter of a circle- like a pizza!”
Sally kidded, “Well maybe not totally normal!”
I laughed until the waitress left- I saw Luke sitting in Beck’s spot! “I told you I was scary!” Luke joked when he saw my startled visage.
“I wasn’t scared!” I lied. “I was just expecting someone else…” Honestly, I was hoping to avoid him for a while. Each time we hung out lately, I got more and more romantic vibes from him, and I wanted to discourage that in case he was the key to Pandora’s Box. I didn’t want to risk his safety by dating him and making it easier for Halorykta to reach him, but I didn’t think I had the willpower to turn him down! Even just staring at his gorgeous face was making my heart race! I peeled myself away from him and canvassed the other two, “Where’s Beck?”
“He had to go do a photo shoot with the other contestants of that surfing competition,” Sam filled me in.
I propositioned, “We should bring him a couple slices when we’re done! I’d love to sneak into a picture and ‘accidently’ get a new headshot!”
Sam queried, “Why don’t you get them done at the KD Nickel’s portrait studio?”
“Maybe…” I considered that notion briefly, but I couldn’t get excited about it. “It’s just so generic, I-!”
“Can I take your order?” the waitress inquired when she returned.
A woman with pink hair and a clipboard replied to the waitress, “We’re gonna need a minute!”
Luke objected, “Wait, no! I just came here on my lunch break! I don’t have a minute to spare!”
“Are you guys interested in protecting our oceans?” the pink-haired woman petitioned us.
“What’s the answer that gets us out of this conversation the fastest?” I shot back.
The pink-haired woman went on as though she hadn’t heard the slant in my enquiry, “Did you know there’s an estimated two-hundred thousand tons of trash in the world’s ocean right now? We can eliminate that by adapting greener practices, and-!”
Luke grabbed her clipboard and read the paper on it, “Oceans in Limbo is having a beach cleanup this weekend. Cool, we’ll do it!” He filled out a couple of lines on the form and handed it back to her. “So, we’re good now, right?”
“You guys are rad!” The woman beamed at us prior to turning around to leave.
“This environmental agency’s acronym is OIL?” Sam questioned.
The woman spun around and grilled us, “What was that?”
Sally covered Sam’s mouth and chirped, “Nothing! See you Saturday!”
“Thanks for volunteering us!” Sam muttered to Luke.
“Don’t worry! I put down the number for Supernova Cinema- if she calls it, all she could do is get movie times! I feel a little bad ‘cause the ocean does need to get taken care of more, but I’m starving, so… Oh, good! Our waitress is coming back! We can finally eat!” All of a sudden, a flurry of screams erupted from the water, and scores of people ran to the shore! Luke moaned, “Noooo!”
I instructed the waitress, “Just get us a large pepperoni! We’ll be back by the time it’s done!”
Sally probed, “We will?”
With a sigh, I responded, “God, I hope so!”
When we got to the sand, we beheld a large, green dragon-like creature with fins and other aquatic features draped all over it! Beck ran up to us and wondered, “Is this for real?”
“No, it’s a joke! Goback to your photo shoot!” Sally sarcastically regarded him.
“Ha! You got me! I’ll catch you on the flip side!” Beck began to retreat.
Sally grabbed his arm preceding him getting too far. “I wasn’t being serious!”
Beck admitted, “I guess I knew that- I was just hoping!”
“Do you think it breathes fire?” Luke posed to us.
“I find the premise of that myth preposterous!” Sam opined. “In order to manufacture an incendiary effect, it would have to emit a spark in order to ignite the…”
The monster raised its giant fins up, and we watched its movements with a mixture of curiosity and fear. I slammed its fins down, and it created a splash so tremendous that it got us soaked! “What exactly were we expecting to happen? It’s not like it was gonna do a fun trick!” I grumped.
Sam triumphantly expressed, “I told you it doesn’t emit fire!”
Before we could react to what Sam said, the monster raised its fins again, so we sought refuge underneath a lifeguard tower. Sally recommended, “As a general rule, we shouldn’t wear white until this beast business is done!” She covered up her white tunic and white skirt. “I thought it’d be cute to give off a Lily Munster vibe!”
“Any ideas?” I surveyed the group.
“Well, you could wear a slip underneath your white skirt so it’s not all see-through!” Beck suggested.
We felt the monster’s giant wave hit the lifeguard tower, and I let out an exasperated exhale. “I meant about the Monterey Bay Monster over there!”
Luke put in, “We could wait for a shark to attack it! There’s been more Great White sightings in the area…”
“What are we supposed to do?” Sam challenged me. “We couldn’t even strangulate it since the width of its neck is far too wide for us to utilize our extremities!”
“There’s gotta be something we can do!” I insisted. “I feel like we’re missing something, but I can’t quite put my finger on it…” I mulled the matter over for a moment, and as I drummed my fingers on the surface I was leaning on, it suddenly dawned on me… “Hey! This life preserver has a long rope!”
Beck brought up, “I’ve got my surfboard! We can use it to approach the beastie!”
Sally gave him a discerning look. “If we let you go, you will come back, won’t you?”
“Oh, yeah! Like I’m gonna forget that thing’s here!” Beck gestured to the monster, who caused the earth to tremble from its movements, and then he dashed off.
“He’s gonna be toast if he doesn’t have people to distract it,” Luke pointed out.
I asserted, “I guess we’re back to our old standby of throwing random shit at otherworldly creatures!” I saw Beck returning, so I delegated, “You two help Beck with the life preserver. Luke and I will distract ‘cause I assume no one else will volunteer to do it.”
Sally and Sam nodded in agreement of that, but Sam voiced his concern, “But, you’re terrible at throwing objects!”
“I don’t need to be good- I just gotta be annoying!” I argued.
“Oh, right! Then, we’ll be fine!” Sam assessed.
I glimpsed at Sam in offense of his insinuation. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the lifeguard tower. “Come on! We need to go!” When we arrived at at a spot that squared off with the monster, we realized our hands were still clasped and awkwardly broke apart.
The monster roared, and I shouted, “Shut up!” Luke and I began pelting it with rocks and other debris that wound up on the shore, and when I came across and interesting shell, I remarked, “Ooh! This is cute! I think I’ll keep it!”
It seemed as though our plan was working at first. The monster was getting agitated, and Beck began treading the water. He was getting close to the monster when, unexpectedly, the woman with the pink hair ran over to us and cried out, “What are you doing? Why are you disturbing an animal in its natural habitat?”
“Excuse me? That thing’s the one who invaded our habitat!” Luke defended our decision.
“You can’t do harm to wildlife!” the woman shrieked. When she espied Sam and Sally throwing Beck the life preserver, she got bug-eyed and croaked, “You’re not gonna kill it, are you?”
Sally assured her, “Rope isn’t always used for bad stuff! Once, I dated this cowboy who… Hey!”
The woman strove to pull the rope back, and Sally as well as Sam did their utmost to pry her away. Meanwhile, the monster caught sight of Beck, and it lunged toward him with its mouth wide open. I refused to allow anything to happen to him, so I grabbed that woman’s clipboard and tossed it at the monster. Finally, my aim appeared to be accurate! It didn’t really matter this time though because it ducked prior to my projectile impacting it, and it swam fast towards Beck with its mouth wide open! It was ready to swallow him! Or, at least, that was its plan…
When it reemerged, it had a garbage bag stuck on its head! It thrashed around in an attempt to get it off, and the pink-haired woman exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! Someone help it! Help it! Help-!” The sloshing it created wound up getting into her mouth, making her cough enough to prevent her from saying anything else further!
The monster soon suffocated, and when it fell, it set off a mini tsunami that drenched us even more than we already were! As we recovered from this briny assault, the tourists returned to the coastline and cheered. One person roared, “Thank the heavens there was trash in the ocean!” The pink-haired woman sulked and stomped away in a huff.
“Can we get our pizza to go?” I requested to the hostess at Calzone Shack as we stood outside of the doorway dripping onto the welcome mat.
“You guys enjoy! I’ve got a date!” Sally declared.
Sam eyeballed her see-through clothing and quizzed her, “Aren’t you gonna change first?”
Sally gazed at him like he was insane. “No!”
“Well, I better get back to work,” Luke articulated as he received a couple slices of pizza. “It’ll be fine- I’ll keep the partition up ‘til I’m dry!”
“Maybe next time we see you, there wont’ be a monster around!” I relayed to him.
Luke smiled warmly at me. “Whenever you wanna make that happen, just give me a call!”
I agreed, “Sounds great!” As he drove off, I went from grinning to grimacing- did I just agree to potentially date the key to Pandora’s Box?
New Trouble, Chapter 21
A colossal figure with the body of a man and the head of a bull towered over us! It stared at our group menacingly, and most of us were very intimidated. Chuck, however, jovially waved at him and chirped, “Hi! You’re neat! What’s your name?”
Phil snapped at Chuck, “Shut up, you fricken fool! That thing’s gonna kill us!”
“Can someone tape it? I need to go night-night…” Chuck closed his eyes and leaned on Phil’s shoulders.
“No, not on me!” Chuck barked. Chuck didn’t budge, so Phil grumped, “Great! I gotta save his dumb ass too!”
The minotaur addressed us in a booming voice:
“I shall let you travelers pass through,
but first, there’s something you must do!
Answer a riddle right,
and your future is bright,
but answer it wrong,
and you won’t be around long!”
Doug responded to the minotaur, “Oh, no! I don’t agree to anything unless I see it in writing!”
“Hear my word, and beware!
My skills are sure to scare!”
the minotaur stated.
“So, you don’t have it in writing?” Doug surmised.
The minotaur chanted:
“Listen with your ears
as I realize your greatest fears!”
Doug argued, “Uh-huh! Nothing is ever so black and white! I need to see the terms and conditions before I engage in this exchange!”
“Two choices lie in your path-
one is safe, and the other is a blood bath…”
the minotaur asserted.
“Stop rhyming!” Doug bellowed.
The minotaur recited:
“Student of one, teacher of another,
my academy shaped minds like no other!
Without a sigh,
who am I?
Luke rubbed his chin contemplatively. “I should know this! I’m a history teacher!”
“How long do we have to answer?” I asked the minotaur.
“Take as long as you’d like,
but if you-!”
the minotaur answered.
I cut him off, “Yeah, yeah, yeah! I don’t need the whole poem!”
Phil remarked, “I didn’t understand any of that, so I’m just gonna go ahead and say my last prayer now!”
From a short distance, Missus Bravo waved to us, “It’s fine! I cut a hole in the wall!”
“Mom! Where did you get that knife?” Doug cried out incredulously.
“Who cares? Let’s get the F out of here!” Phil grunted.
The minotaur glimpsed at us in bewilderment. “What? No! That’s cheating!”
Doug griped, “Oh, sure! Now that we’re leaving, you stop with the rhyming!”
“I should count this as an incorrect response and eat you!” the minotaur threatened us.
“Nope! There’s no rule saying we can’t do this! If you don’t like it, next time get it in writing, buttmunch!” I punched the minotaur where I could reach him, which was in the crotch area.
When we were in the Megahits parking lot once more, the maze disappeared. The video store patrons booed and hissed, and the little girl’s mother complained, “That was such a boring show! We couldn’t even see what happened!”
The cashier requested, “Oh, Phil! I’m so glad you’re here! I need a bathroom break!”
I shook my head at the apathy of this audience in response to a dangerous display, but preceding me giving any other reaction, Luke exclaimed, “Plato!” I gazed at him questioningly, so he clarified, “That’s the answer to the riddle!”
“Just under the buzzer!” I sarcastically pat his shoulder in condolences, and I found myself lingering there. The way he was looking after our moment of laughter was magnetic! It was like he got thrilled by my touch, and he was beckoning me ot come closer… I was so tempted…
“Hey! Could you open your cab already? This guy’s fricken heavy!” Phil demanded to Luke.
Luke obliged, but he gave me a smile before getting into his taxi. My heart melted…. until I saw a box near the trash can. It reminded me of Pandora’s, and I felt guilty for letting myself get romantic with the potential key! I tore myself away, and… Doug and his mom were apparently watching this scene unfold! I grew worried, but Doug assured me, “Don’t sweat it- attorney-client privilege!”
I gratefully grinned at them. “Thanks, guys!” Missus Bravo gave me a thumbs-up, and I returned the gesture as I began walking home.
The next day, I went into a bakery, and I glanced around in delight at the Halloween decorations that adorned the walls and shelves. It had a rustic charm that made me feel at ease, and I thought at last I had found a place where I could forget about my troubles for a while. I didn’t want to admit that Halorykta’s scheme of stressing us to the maximum had gotten to me, but with no end of this nightmare in sight, it was hard not to feel frustrated! I would have loved to have immersed myself in research that might have led me to some pathway out of this mess, but with all of the recent drama I endured, I needed to give my brain a break! The monster attacks burned a lot of bridges to places where I could seek refuge from these fresh memories, so I hoped this bakery would do the trick…
It took me a while to catch on to the vampire displayed next to me! It forcibly reminded me of one of our latest adversaries, and I began to grow irritated again. I didn’t want this supernatural endeavor to ruin my favorite holiday! Plus, the eyes of that plushie seemed like they were following me! I tried shifting around, but it still bothered me, so I turned the vampire plushie around so it could no longer face me, and that helped a bit, but I couldn’t help but feel my mood sour a bit more!
“Next! NEXT!” the clerk shouted.
“Wow! Whoever’s next should really go!” I muttered. It took me longer than I care to admit to realize it was me! “Oh, sorry!” I apologized as I ran up to the counter. “I want the hot cider, but I was wondering what pastry pairs well with…?” The clerk got a weird expression on her visage, so I probed, “What?”
The clerk excitedly regarded me, “You’re the girl, aren’t you?”
I wondered, “What are you talking about? I mean, I am a girl, but… Were you expecting someone?”
“Listen…” The clerk gestured for me to lean in closer to her. “I have this boyfriend I’d like you to take care of…”
“Uh, I’m not sure why you think I’m that type of girl, but you can forget it!” I refused her implied request. “Nevada has some brothels, you can take a few-hour drive and have them do it!”
The clerk corrected my misimpression, “No, not like that! He cheated on me, and I want someone to send a man-eater to him! His bimbo too if you could!”
I was internally screaming at this juncture! Here I was trying to erase my monstrous memories, and she brought it up to a crowd who wasn’t even thinking about that until she elicited their attention to it! I didn’t want to cause an even bigger scene, though, so I steadied my emotions and calmly communicated to her, “I don’t control when they show up. They randomly manifest as I’m going about my day…”
“Then, could you hang out at UC Adonis Shores?” she beseeched me. “His name is Leo, and he looks just like Kurt Cobain- you can’t miss him!”
“Yes, I can!” I disagreed. “I’m not gonna stalk this Leo dude just so you can get revenge on a romantic partner!”
The clerk wasn’t deterred. “Chillax! I can pay you! Here’s your apple cider, on the house! And I was gonna take home the day-old pastries, but they’re yours!” She plopped a large bag into my hands and graciously relayed to me, “Thanks a bunch!” Prior to me getting to object to this premise, she called out, “Next in line!”
I stood by the register in hopes of interrupting this transaction to refuse her requisition, but the man behind me had a complicated order, and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise! People were ogling me like I was a sideshow, and I eventually gave up and left. I don’t know why I brought all those pastries with me, but technically, she gave them to me before she knew whether or not I’d go hassle Leo, so I didn’t feel too bad about taking them!
“It doesn’t look anything like the picture!” a young woman bemoaned as she looked at her hairdo.
“My dear, we went over this!” Kitty somewhat exasperatedly reminded her client. “I told you I can’t make your curls exactly like Julia Roberts’- your hair isn’t as long as hers! Not even close!”
The young woman inquired, “Can’t you do some tricks to make my hair look longer like that?”
Kitty coolly retorted, “Of course not! I’m a stylist, not a magician! If you want longer locks in an instant, go buy a wig!”
“I’m gonna have to buy a wig after this travesty! I’m getting a new hairstylist!” She slammed down a few twenties and walked off in a huff.
“Tell them I wish them good luck with their new challenge!” Kitty cheerily waved her off.
As the young woman passed me, I commented, “I think it looks cute!” She rolled her eyes at me and stormed off.
Kitty looked pleased at seeing my entrance. “Penny, mija! I’m closing soon, but if you want a quick cut, I can do that!”
“Actually, I just wanted to see if you and your customers wanted any pastries.” I offered the bag to her. “The bakery down the street gave them to me ‘cause… Well, I don’t want them!”
“I’ll take them, but I’m gonna bring them home to my family. Not all of my customers deserve a treat…” She referenced the young woman who had just exited.
Sympathizing with her situation, I reassured her, “I’m sorry she did that! You’re a great stylist, and you don’t deserve that!”
Kitty kindly dismissed that concept, “Thank you, but I already know that! When you understand your worth, you don’t let jerks like that bring you down!” She picked up a broom and started cleaning, but when she spotted something in the pastry bag, she paused and observed, “There are brownies in there! Ooh, I love anything chocolate! Oh, but I shouldn’t! My granddaughter’s birthday party is today, and I can’t have two desserts in one day…” She mulled it over for a moment, and then she relented, “Oh, what the hell! My husband keeps trying to convince me to get a bigger booty anyway!”
She made me giggle, but I grew curious about something she said. “You’re a grandmother?”
“Oh, please! Don’t say I don’t look like one ‘cause I know you’re lying!” Kitty preempted my presumed statement.
“I wasn’t gonna say that! Well, you don’t, but I was just gonna ask… Your son has a kid and two jobs, and he’s single? How does he do it?” I posed to her.
Kitty filled me in, “No, no! My daughter has two kids. I’m still waiting for my son to give me grandchildren! It’s probably gonna be a while because he’s hesitating! He still hasn’t made a move with that girl he likes, even though they keep hanging out together!”
I guessed, “He’s shy?”
“Not really! He’s worried he’s not good enough for her! I know! That’s crazy, right?” Kitty reacted to my surprised face. As she munched on her brownie, she went on, “This is what I’m saying about knowing your worth! Even if someone’s out of your league (which is impossible with him ‘cause he’s gorgeous!), it doesn’t mean you can’t be of value to them! Everyone needs someone to be there for them during hard times and offer kindness, and as long as you can do that, you’re never worthless! It’s becoming rarer and rarer to find someone that’s so accepting and caring, so if you’ve got that going on, there’s no reason to believe you aren’t priceless! That’s why I fell for my husband- he was so confident, it was sexy! That and his abs! Wow!”
“That’s why I like coming here!” I thought about how that may have sounded, and I amended my sentence, “I meant ‘cause you’re so kind! I have no idea what your husband looks like!”
Kitty chortled, and after she finished her brownie, she sprang up. “I gotta get moving or I’ll miss the party! You’re welcome to join us if you’d like!”
I considered that invitation briefly, but then I recalled how much of the town turned on me thanks to Halorykta’s monsters, and I didn’t want to cause any awkwardness with her relatives. “I’d better not! I gotta get a lot of chores done today ‘cause I’m busy tomorrow. Thanks anyways, though!”
“Take care, mija!” Kitty beamed at me as I left. While I walked down the street, I prayed my Sunday would go a lot more smoothly than today…
New Trouble, Chapter 20
A patron at the front of the video store complimented the cashier, “Wow! You guys really go all out for your Halloween promos!”
The cashier stared at the newly erected hedge maze in astonishment, and he articulated, “That isn’t ours! I don’t think! Hey, Phil! Did I miss a memo?”
“Ooh! Mommy, can I try it?” a little girl asked her mother.
“Hmm… I dunno!” her mother answered while studying the maze. “I don’t see a price tag anywhere…”
I advised the Megahits customers, “You don’t wanna go in there! It may be dangerous!”
The mother curiously queried, “Why? What’s in it?”
“Well, I’m not totally sure,” I admitted.
“Then, how do you know it’s not safe for us to go inside?” the mother shot back.
I told her, “I’ll go in and find out.”
The mother changed her mind, “Oh, you’re going in? Forget it then!”
“Wait just a flim-flamming moment!” Doug’s mom confronted the mother. “This is a fine, outstanding citizen! You shouldn’t let your superstitions prevent you from enjoying an experience! Act with kindness and tolerance, and go have a ball!”
“I appreciate the support, Missus Bravo, but please don’t encourage this!” I requested.
A young guy peered at the maze from the window, and he observed, “There doesn’t seem to be anyone in it!”
Luke refuted him, “Oh, there definitely is! It looks harmless on the outside to lull you into a false sense of security and tempt you into a potentially lethal ensnarement!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! You need to speak slowly when you use so many big words! We’re a little tipsy- that’s why we called you!” the young guy reminded Luke.
“Fair point!” Luke acknowledged the validity of his argument. “Okay, let me phrase it this way: maze bad!”
Doug questioned me, “Why are you two going into a place that’s potentially perilous?”
I wasn’t certain how to explain it without the small crowd believing I was not even more bonkers than they already believed I was. I mulled it over for a second, and then I commented, “Well, it’s sorta our job…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! This dude’s a teacher, a cab driver, and a maze-explorer thing-a-ma-bob?” The young guy cocked his head in befuddlement.
“What’s going on here?” A man with a portly pot belly squeezed into a dress shirt emerged from the back and surveyed the scenery. “Oh, no! What’s that doing in our lot?”
The little girl suggested, “Ask her! She works there!”
After lumbering over to me, the man, whose nametag read, “Phil,” accosted me, “What’s the big idea? Why would you pull such a stunt without my authorization?”
“Please, sir! We didn’t put it there!” Luke appealed to Phil.
“That girl said your wife works there!” Phil argued.
Luke put his left hand up in the air. “She’s not my wife!”
Phil’s visage grew abashed upon this sight. “Oh! This is awkward…”
“My son has been a lawyer for her family for decades now!” Missus Bravo defended me to everyone. “They’re a little strange, but they’re no one to be afraid of! So, go into the maze without fear!”
“No! Don’t do that!” I warned the bystanders. I then turned to Phil and reassured him, “We didn’t put that there, but we… We’ll get that thing shut down as fast as possible!”
Phil’s posture grew less stiff after receiving that certainty. “Good! This contraption’s on my store’s property, and I don’t want no liability if anyone gets sick or injured there!”
Doug verbalized, “Do you hear that, Mom? Mom? Oh, god! Where’d she go?” He spotted her by the maze’s entrance trying to urge the young guy to go inside, and his face paled. “Oh, no! Mom! Stop that!”
Luke and I joined him as he chased after him, and Phil trailed behind us, trotting as fast as his stubby legs would allow him. “I’m the manager, and I demand you cease this immediately!”
“It’s okay! You guys won’t have to do this alone! Chuck and I will join you!” Missus Bravo attempted to comfort us.
“Mom! Get back here! Legally, we could… And, she’s gone! Jiminy Cricket!” Doug rubbed his temples in frustration.
Luke promised Doug, “We’ll get her out.”
Doug stated, “I’m going in too! Whatever is in there needs to get documented in case we need to sue the person who perpetrated this haphazard!”
“That’d be interesting to see!” Luke chuckled at the image of him in court with Halorykta.
“Alright! Let’s get this headache over with!” I propositioned. We took a collective deep breath, and then we entered into the maze. I was surprised to hear Phil tailing us, so I verified with him, “You’re coming too?”
Phil put on an act of bravado, “Why shouldn’t I come? I have valuable skills! I served during ‘Nam! …Okay, so I didn’t get deployed to a combat zone, but I did an awful lot of paperwork! …Okay, so I was scared and didn’t wanna stand there alone!”
Preceding any of us getting to respond to that, we heard a shrill scream! Doug called out, “Mom?”
“That wasn’t me!” Missus Bravo shouted.
“I thought we found our first jump scare, but it was just a rock!” Chuck explained.
Crossing my fingers that they would listen, I advised them, “Stay where you are!”
Chuck protested, “Why? That’s so boring!”
Luke and I let out an exasperated sigh, and we continued along our journey.
When we got to the other end of the row, we had a choice of going forward or going right. Luke canvassed us, “Which way did they go?”
“Ooh! A doggy!” Chuck cried out in delight.
“Got it!” Luke surmised the answer to his enquiry, and we all went right.
We found Chuck coaxing an animal, “Come on, doggy! Come here!”
Glancing over to what he was trying to interact with, we beheld that his “doggy” was a tall, ferocious wolf in a shredded toga walking on its hind legs! “Mom! That’s no doggy! How could you let him think that?” Doug chided her.
“What? It’s not like it’ll hurt him!” Missus Bravo responded.
“I’ve got bad news- that’s no actor!” I relayed to Missus Bravo.
Missus Bravo mildly quarreled, “Excuse me! He may not be famous, but we all have got to get our start somewhere!”
The werewolf began barreling towards us, and Chuck praised him, “Good boy! Come!”
“Bad! Bad dog! Sit!” Phil commanded. The werewolf maintained his velocity, so Phil remarked, “Worth a shot!”
“No!” Luke pulled Chuck out of the werewolf’s path, and then he probed, “What exactly did you plan to do with that thing? Play fetch?”
The werewolf headed towards Phil, and Phil strove to run, but the werewolf was too fast for him. The werewolf pounced on him, but Phil managed to hold back its jaws. “Dang nabbit!” Phil grumped at his predicament.
Doug observed, “Those teeth look authentic!”
“They are authentic!” I apprised him.
“Wait, so monsters are real?” Doug’s expression became utterly shocked. “So, Mom wasn’t losing her marbles when she talked about her encounter at the Photo Galleria?”
Missus Bravo reacted to his assertion, “Hey! I said they were there, I didn’t say I thought they were real! But, they’re real? So, we’ve got to defeat real monsters?”
Phil dryly invited us, “You guys can help out at any time!”
“How do we defeat a werewolf?” Luke posed to the group.
“A silver bullet!” Doug recalled. “I’m guessing no one has one of those on them though…”
Missus Bravo regaled us, “They also have aversions to certain plants like wolfsbane, rye, mistletoe…”
I speculated, “I’ll bet it doesn’t have to be a bullet specifically! Here- I have this necklace! It’s fine! My ex gave it to me, so it’s not like I’ll miss it! I just needed something to classy up my outfit for work…”
“Yeah! I’ll bet if he swallowed it, he’d have a bad reaction!” Luke agreed with me. He eyeballed me as I was prepping to throw it, and he offered, “Do you want me to do it?”
“That’d be great!” I handed him the necklace, and as I placed it on his palm, our fingers brushed! Sparks flew, and it would’ve been terribly romantic if there hadn’t been a man-eating beast behind us!
Luke hurled the necklace into his mouth, but it slid out as he looked down. Phil beseeched us, “Could you all hurry and kill this thing? My stomach is acting up, and I’m gonna need to use the bathroom soon!”
Chuck volunteered himself, “I’ll do it! It’s okay! I had to force my dog to take a pill once!”
“Wait! Let me assist!” Doug submitted to him. Chuck straddled the werewolf, and it stood up and strove to get him off. “Somehow…”
“You take this, bad doggy!” Chuck leaned in to loosen up his jaw, and we raced in to rescue him from the werewolf’s wrath, but then…
The werewolf sniffed his breath, and then he passed out! Chuck still had the necklace in his hands, so I queried, “What did you do?”
Chuck shrugged. “I don’t even know!”
“Chuck, dear, did you happen to drink any rye beer?” Missus Bravo checked with him.
“Well, he didn’t drink any wolfsbane!” Doug quipped.
Missus Bravo scolded Doug, “Don’t sass me! It’s not too late for me to take away your allowance!”
Doug corrected her, “Mom, I’m sixty-seven, and I draw a salary!”
“Oof! My knees!” Phil grunted as he stood up, and his joints cracked. “Alright, let’s hurry and get to the other side already!”
“Wait, why would we do that?” Luke pondered. “Wouldn’t it be easier just to go back the way we came?” We glanced back, and we discovered that the hedges had sealed that route shut! We all grimaced at that notion, and then Luke encouraged us, “Well, at least we’re dealing with monsters we’ve heard of! We’ve got better odds of winning ‘cause of that, don’t we?”
Chuck dangled the necklace in front of me and communicated, “Here’s your necklace back!”
I crinkled my nose as drool dropped from it, and I instructed him, “You keep it!”
We walked in silence for a stretch. Eventually, Phil began to clutch his stomach, and he moaned, “We’re almost done, right?”
“That’d be nice!” Luke huffed.
“I don’t think I can hold it much longer!” Phil notified us. “Don’t get the pesto chicken at the Conch station next door!”
Missus Bravo recommended, “Aim for the bushes! Make the jerks who did this to us clean it up! Who did do this to us?”
Luke and I glimpsed at each other in uncertainty. They were obviously privy to part of our supernatural world, but we weren’t positive if we should share everything. As we silently debated whether or not sharing this would be beneficial to anyone, a bat landed in front of us and morphed into an extremely pale woman with long fangs! Everyone but Chuck became nervous- Chuck, however, strolled up to her and silkily spoke, “Hey, baby! Why don’t we fly out of here and-?”
The vampiress hissed, and she was prepared to bite him, but Phil pulled him out of her teeth’s trajectory. In so doing, his abdomen lurched, and he wound up vomiting all over her! She was disgusted at first, but after inhaling his projectile’s scent, her eyes crossed, and she fainted! Missus Bravo assessed, “It was the garlic in your dinner!”
“Man! Plants are trying to kill us, but they’re also kinda saving us too!” Luke notated.
“So, do you reckon I have a chance with her?” Chuck canvassed us. We rolled our eyes and moved on.
We soon espied a gap in the distance, and Doug breathed an exhale of alleviation. “Oh, thank the Lord! It’s over!”
I disagreed, “It’s not over! That was too easy!”
“That was easy to you?” Doug exclaimed.
“Yes! Yes, it was!” I asserted as a giant shadow loomed over us…
New Trouble, Chapter 19
“Hi! You’ve reached Penny! Leave a message!” I heard my answering machine play that outgoing response as I finished up my pre-work routine. I couldn’t imagine who would call me when the coffee had barely begun to set in, but I didn’t assume it would be very important since most people in my circle already knew that this wouldn’t be the best time to contact me! For a second, I dared to hope that it was Mister Macquire telling me that I didn’t have to go into work that day, but I doubted that I would get that lucky!
After the beep, my mom’s voice echoed out, “Hello, Penelope! I was just talking to Mister Foster, and he’s still very interested in you! From what I heard, you left the evening pretty early. I just wanted to recommend that you to give him a chance! He has a very stable and well-paying position, and you’d be financially secure for the rest of your life if you ended up with him! Just think about it!” I shook my head at that absurdity and left in a huff.
The two old biddies across the street from the Hecate House were sipping tea when I came out. One of them heckled me, “Coming to check on the ghosts?”
“I was feeding the cat,” I corrected her.
“How’s life been treating you since you took ownership of that hovel?” the second biddy jeered. “Has the decision haunted you?”
I shot back, “There’s nothing wrong with this place!” As I tried to leave, I stepped on a loose floorboard, and it nearly whacked me in the face! The old biddies started cackling, so I spat, “I’m working on it!” They continued to chortle as I rounded the corner and sat at the bus stop.
When I arrived at work, I mumbled, “My mom doesn’t want me to live a life of choices! I’ll show her! I’ll live the life I want to, and no one can force me to be ‘normal!’”
“Penelope! Take off that sweater! It’s too loud!” Mister Macquire critiqued me.
“I thought the orange would be festive for Halloween,” I justified myself.
Mister Macquire bickered, “Are there bright colors in the rest of the office? No! You’ll pull focus!”
It took all of my willpower not to roll my eyes at that. “Okay! But I’m wearing a tank top underneath this…”
“Oh, jeez!” Mister Macquire took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes out of frustration. “I suppose between your bare shoulders and the obnoxious sweater, I’ll choose the latter! But don’t let it happen again! People don’t come to this business to see you!”
“Penny!” Ned walked in carrying a bag of food from a cafe a couple of doors down from here. “Isn’t this a pleasant surprise?”
I dryly responded to him, “No, it’s not! I’d say it was quite the opposite!”
Mister Macquire petitioned me, “Penelope, are you using this office for social calls?”
“Absolutely not!” I emphatically stated. “He’s my ex-husband! Feel free to kick him out!”
“Wait! Just let me have a minute of your time!” Ned pleaded.
Mister Macquire motioned for him to say his piece, and I reacted incredulously, “Seriously? You’re allowing this, but not my orange sweater?”
Ned beseeched me, “Listen, babe! You’ve made your point! I’ll be more romantic or whatever it is you want me to do! Just please come home! I hate living in an empty house!”
“Get a dog!” I suggested.
“I did, but it got too messy,” Ned filled me in. “Did you know their poop just sits there in the backyard if you don’t clean it? I can’t even hire a gardener to scoop it up ‘cause I spent all my extra money hiring a full-time maid and chef to take care of the place ‘cause you won’t do it!”
Prior to me getting to comment on his idiocy, he pulled out a cheese danish and began munching on it. I slapped my forehead and groaned, “Ned, you’re eating dairy!”
Mister Macquire jumped into the conversation at this point, “Yes, she’s quite right- I’m afraid we don’t allow food inside of this establishment! Please leave!”
Ned went outside, but then he poked his head back in and begged, “Can you please call me?” Mister Macquire nudged him outside, and he finally admitted defeat and slinked away. I locked the door as soon as Mister Macquire was out of sight- I could only imagine his fury if Ned used our bathroom when the lactose intolerance kicked in! I leaned against the wall and sighed as I tried to detox from this hectic morning…
“Welcome to Megahits! Can I help you with anything?” a man in a blue polo merrily greeted me.
“Probably not,” I dismally articulated. “I just wanna rent a movie that helps me forget about everything!”
The Megahits employee recommended, “Well, since it’s Spooky Season, may I suggest our Monster Mayhem section?”
I declined that proposal, “No, you may not! That’s… not gonna help! But, I’ll let you know if I have any questions, thanks!”
As I trekked down the blue-carpeted aisles, I noticed a few people pointing and staring at me. They all seemed to turn their heads when I looked in that direction, but I could definitely feel eyes on me as I perused through the classics. A little girl not-so quietly whispered to her mom, “That’s the lady from the toy store. She fought the scary beast!”
“Oh, that was probably just a gimmick! There’s no such thing as monsters!” the mom reassured the little girl. Despite her confidence in the matter, she still moved rather quickly to distance herself from me.
“Dude, we’d better get out of here before some freaky creature invades the store!” a young guy mentioned to his buddies.
An elderly woman approached me, and she offered me console, “There, there, dearie! Not everyone thinks you’re bad luck!”
I graciously regarded her, “Thank you!”
“Seeing you at the Picture Galleria reminds me of something that happened to me as a child,” the elderly woman recollected. “Now, this was back in nineteen-o-eight, so obviously, there weren’t really any photo development stores yet. People mostly did it themselves at home, but you could go to a film studio if you wanted to! Of course, that was far more expensive than creating your own dark room at home! Anyway, I was visiting my uncle’s farm in Terra Bella. Oh, you’ve probably never heard of Terra Bella, but it’s close to Fresno. There’s a town in Pennsylvania with a very similar name…”
“Uh-huh…” I didn’t want to be rude to the one person who was acting kindly toward me, but I could imagine that this story wouldn’t have concluded until the store closed! I curiously wondered if this interaction was helping or hurting my reputation, so I glanced across the room. It was pretty empty in this sector, and at first, I assumed we were all alone over here, but then…
A tuft of gray hair floated above the comedy section, and I initially chalked it up toilet another individual trying to avoid me, but something seemed very familiar about them. I politely excused myself from that elderly woman’s babbling, and I tiptoed towards the mysterious figure. Luckily, they hand’t detected my presence! I ambushed them in the aisle, and…
I puzzled, “Doug?”
“Oh, hi, Penelope!” Doug stood up and tried to act as though he was merely browsing for a specific VHS. “I didn’t see you there!”
“You didn’t?” I folded my arms in disbelief. “Were you trying to hide from my new friend there then? What, is she your ex-girlfriend or something?”
Doug relayed to me, “Actually, that’s my mother.”
I felt a bit awkward about that faux pas, but I didn’t let that distract me. “You probably came here together, so hiding from her wouldn’t do much good unless she has memory problems…”
“Yeah, right! She’s got more information stored in her than a computer! It’d be nice if she could forget some things, like when I came home from prom in a cheerleader’s uniform! It was dark in that barn!” He winced as he remembered that tidbit, but then he remorsefully spoke to me, “Okay, I’m sure you’d like to yell at me too, so go ahead and get it over with!”
“What? I’m not gonna yell at you!” I mulled that over for a moment, and then I reversed course, “Probably! I guess that depends on why you were attempting to shield yourself from me…”
Doug glimpsed at me in astonishment. “You’re not mad that I convinced you to take the Hecate House?”
I differed with him, “No, I convinced myself to take it! You were trying to convince me it was haunted!”
“Well, in any case, you’re not upset that you got an inheritance riddled with ghosts?” Doug canvassed me.
“It’s not a haunted house! But, it’s got a haunted house!” I espied his confused expression, so I clarified, “My friends and I found a nineteenth-century attraction in the basement.”
Doug blinked in surprise. “That’s different! So, there aren’t any actual ghosts in there?”
I shrugged. “If there are any, they’re friendly!”
He quizzed me, “So, there’s nothing eerie about the property whatsoever?”
“Well…” I didn’t want to lie and say everything about the dwelling was peachy-keen when it wasn’t, but I certainly didn’t want to say I was battling mythical creatures sent in by an apocalyptic goddess to one of the few denizens who wasn’t fleeing from fright due to my proximity to them! Other store patrons were in the vicinity listening too, though, and I couldn’t tell if they would have gotten terrified by that tidbit or if they would have used it as further ammunition to shun me! I couldn’t discuss that supernatural nonsense with him, but perhaps there was something he could shed more light on… “Did Grandma Lydia ever talk about her Grandma Hecate?”
“Possibly. By the end, she told a lot of boring stories, and I didn’t pay attention half the time ‘cause it wasn’t related to any legal matters,” Doug reported.
I pressed him further, “She didn’t say anything about the house or anything? Why Hecate would have had this business running and then suddenly abandon it to become a traditional housewife?”
Doug’s mother put in, “Back in my day, if a woman rushed to find a husband, it meant she was trying not to have a baby out of wedlock!” I found that premise interesting, but preceding me getting to elaborate on that, Doug’s mom prattled on, “Nowadays, nobody cares if someone has relations outside of marriage! They’ll scratch that itch darn whenever they feel like it- even after dropping off a prom date to her parents’ ranch…”
“Ugh! That was fifty years ago! Are you ever gonna let that go?” Doug asked her.
“I waited up for you to hear all about your dance, and then imagine my shock when you came home disheveled and out of your beautiful tuxedo!” she answered him. “Then, you had the gall to say you owned that skirt and sweater!”
Doug grabbed the VHS case out of her hand. “Oh, you found a video! Let’s go pay for it! Nice to see you again, Penelope!”
I watched them head to the counter and tittered. I was so engrossed in that pair’s antics that I didn’t even catch sight of Luke standing next to me! “We’ve gotta find that lover!” His abrupt appearance made me jump, so he apologized, “Sorry! I thought you knew I was here!”
“It’s been a long week,” I defended my obliviousness. “I guess I should pay more attention to my surroundings in case something terrifying sneaks up on me!”
“Something terrifying did sneak up on you!” Luke kidded. I rolled my eyes, but he stuck to that shtick, “What? Some of my students get nervous around me!”
I disputed that, “Yeah, ‘cause their grade depends on you! Do I look like a schoolgirl to you?”
He riposted, “If I say yes, would you roll your eyes again?”
“Without a doubt!” I laughed. He shared my mirth, and it was like music to my ears! He had such a comforting laugh, and every time he smiled like that, it made my heart melt! The way he stood by me caused me to believe he was flirting with me, and I got extremely excited. I was tempted to continue this interaction and see how far he would go with me, but then the movie that the store was playing emitted a monstrous noise, so I bitterly recalled what the priority was right then. “Alright, so why do you think we need to know who Doug’s prom date was?”
“Not his lover! Hecate’s! It seems like everything was normal ‘til this affair of hers started. What if her boyfriend had something to do with paranormal stuff?” Luke reasoned.
I rubbed my chin contemplatively. “Yeah! Maybe if we figure out why all this happened, we can stop it from happening again!” Suddenly, the occupants of Megahits reacted to some chaotic commotion at the front, so I added, “Well, we can stop the next one from happening!”
New Trouble, Chapter 18
“What is it?” As I anticipated his question, I became hopeful that he would profess his feelings for me. I forgot about all that stuff about him possibly being the key to Pandora’s Box- after staring into his eyes, all I could think about was how much I wanted him!
Luke requested, “Would you go to the Homecoming dance with me?” My heart skipped a beat! Was this even real? When I was in high school, I was relieved when somebody finally wanted me to go with them, and twenty-two years after graduation, I was instantly more excited to go to Homecoming than I was back then! It felt too good to be true! …And, it was! He glanced at my three besties and filled us in, “We’re short on available staff members, so we need some more chaperones.”
My fervor dropped as quickly as it had risen. He meant that for everyone? I was crushed not to feel special! He put me on the same level as Beck, who was currently digging out a wedgie! It was hard to accept that he didn’t have any romantic intentions with me, but I bitterly resolved that it was probably best this way since Halorykta may have been after him to wipe out humanity. I pretended to look to the right to contemplate the matter because I came to realize that I had absolutely no poker face, and I needed a minute to get into the character of someone who didn’t care about this development…
“We’d love to go!” Sally put her hand on my shoulder in solidarity.
“Uh, we would?” Sam ogled at her in disbelief.
Sally insisted, “Yes, we would!” She subtly gestured to me to give him a hint to play along.
Sam protested, “But I hate dancing! I even brought my calculus homework to the prom!”
“Your date hated that!” Beck recalled.
“After everything we’ve been through lately, I just want to spend my weekend nights in repose! I do not want to utilize my free time telling a bunch of adolescents to cease their shenanigans!” Sam ranted.
Sally pointed at me more ardently. “Yes, you do!”
Sam argued, “Penny can’t possibly want to go! She’s an appalling dancer!”
I cringed at that memory. I was so excited to possibly receive some amorous sentiments from Luke that I forgot about the dancing aspect of the dance! I didn’t want Luke to see my awful moves! Would he have any interest in me if all of his students were laughing at my total lack of rhythm?
“The chaperones don’t dance!” Mary put in. “Maybe a little, but mostly they just stand there looking grumpy.”
“You’d be good at that, Sam! You’re already doing it!” Beck needled him.
Sam pouted, “You’re on board with this premise?”
Beck relayed to him, “It sounds lame, but he’s helped us out of a bunch of our monster jams, so we owe him a favor…”
“Wait, did you say jams?” Max queried. “How many times have you dealt with freaky things like that? Why do they keep attacking you guys?”
“Long story,” I responded. “We could tell you, but I’d hate for you to miss your curfews…”
Danny glimpsed at his watch, and his eyes went wide. “Oh, crap! I’m gonna be so grounded if I don’t get home stat!”
Luke let Tommy know, “I’ll take you to your house in a second. So, will you guys be able to come?”
“We would love to!” Sally renewed her furious pointing.
“Ohhhh! Yes, of course!” Sam finally caught on and obliged.
Luke grinned at us. “Great! I’ll give you the details later. I gotta get this one home!”
I couldn’t resist grinning back at him- his smile was so dreamy! We said our goodbyes, and as I watched him leave, I found some solace in the fact that chaperones didn’t have to do any dancing.
“Um, excuse me! You are all banned from Athenyx Library! You can’t keep hanging out in the parking lot!” the librarian who banished us scolded.
“Next time, let’s let the monster destroy the place!” Sally muttered. We gazed at her in shock, and she clarified, “I’m kidding! I think…” We tittered as we climbed into Beck’s truck.
After I thanked Beck for the ride, total exhaustion kicked in! For a night owl, getting up at six a.m. each day was a struggle, and that temp job was mentally tiring! I spent half the evening reading Ancient Greek textbooks, and in the other half, I went running around the library fighting a very strange but speedy monster! And, it was only Wednesday! My brain hurt picturing what horrors might be in store for me during the rest of the week! It was too much! I needed a break! With that in mind, I decided to salvage the remainder of my day relaxing, and I was already contemplating which bottle of wine I wanted to crack open when I entered the lobby of my complex. I was going to have a tranquil evening…
Or was I…? I halted in my tracks, absorbing the terrible startlement I just endured! …My mom was waiting for me by the presently closed front desk! As this woman who didn’t resemble whatsoever except for the eyes paced across the space, I observed a scowl on her face that spelled trouble! Not that she could really punish me at thirty-nine years old and me living on my own, but I knew from experience that defying her had drastic consequences! I grimaced realizing I couldn’t take the elevator without alerting her to my presence, but I was glad I could zip up the stairs preceding her catching sight of me!
I was prepared to dash to my door and swiftly lock it so I could ignore her until maybe tomorrow, but to my bewilderment, she was staring at me from the top of the stairwell! The frown on her visage only deepened from earlier, which wasn’t a good sign, but all I could do was hope for the best. So, I merrily greeted her, “Oh, hey, Mom! I didn’t know you were here!”
“Yes, you did!” my mom refuted my claim. “You ran up the steps without even saying hello!”
“How did you know?” I wondered.
My mom articulated, “I heard you climbing the steps. There’s a reason I didn’t call you Grace!”
I jokingly quarreled with her, “You could’ve done it out of irony!” My mom didn’t appear amused, so I slid past her and truthfully broadcasted, “Listen, Mom! I had a long day, nd I really need to pee, so I wanted to avoid whatever trumped up drama you have planned for me!”
“I’m not letting you off the hook for this one!” my mom bellowed as she followed me into my apartment.
“Okay, so I should’ve told you I was meeting up with my buddies tonight, but what’s the big deal?” I posed to her. “I miss your calls pretty much daily now, I would’ve thought you’d be used to that by now!”
My mom upbraided me, “I’m not here to talk about that! Although I’m not pleased about that either! … You took the Hecate House!?!”
It never occurred to me that she might discover this until I moved in and put in my change of address! I wished I had given this possibility some consideration before this juncture though, because I wasn’t clear on how to respond to that! All I could come up with was, “I… Well… It’s not actually haunted, just FYI!”
“Why would you do that?” my mom vociferated. “The curse could’ve fallen out of our family’s hands!”
“There’s no curse!” I disputed her. “It’s a bit more work for me, but nothing too out of the ordinary has happened!” I bit my lip after I heard myself spew out such a hideous mistruth.
My mom grabbed me by the shoulders and urged me, “Sell it! Sell it now! Maybe it’s not too late to avoid the curse!”
I kidded, “Mom, I’ve had ‘the curse’ since seventy-one!” My mom clicked her tongue in annoyance, so I curiously petitioned her, “How did you even find this out?”
“Your dad and I met with Doug to take your ex-husband out of the will, and I saw the paperwork on his desk,” she reported.
“Oh! Thank you for doing that!” I graciously regarded her.
My mom resentfully sniffed at that. “This is the thanks I get? Everything I do is for your own good!”
I stared at her in disbelief, and I wanted to immediately push back against what she just said, but… I wasn’t lying about needing to use the bathroom! I hurried to the toilet, and through the shut door, I yelled, “Your idea of my own good is to have every aspect of my life controlled! You think freedom is a pipe dream and choices are dangerous! I don’t wanna keep living my life in a gilded cage! So, there’s some risks in venturing out, but it’s better than spending all of my days feeling trapped!” That would’ve sounded far more impressive if I weren’t urinating throughout the entire speech!
“Penny, I’m just trying to keep you safe! That’s my job as a parent, whether you like it or not!” My mom eyeballed me when I reemerged, and then she advised me, “Your soap is drying out your hands- you need to get the moisturizing kind!” She dismally exited my home, and I sort of felt guilty about shooting my mouth off to her. She hadn’t been making the best decisions about me, but her actions stemmed from a desire to protect me. I could only hope that eventually she would see that I was fine traveling down my own path! …She was right about the soap though, my knuckles were pretty dry and red!
“I’m almost finished, but I’m gonna have to get behind that wall there soon.” Beck gestured toward a large shelf in the Hecate House.
As we situated ourselves to push that heavy piece of furniture, Sam remarked, “This is exhilarating! This domicile is almost becoming habitable!”
I conversed, “That’d be great! Then, if my mom decides to stalk me so she can lecture me on my lifestyle, she won’t make herself known to hundreds of my neighbors! She may catch some grief from the old biddies across the street, but that’d be more annoying than embarrassing!”
“At least your mother doesn’t turn up at your job and tell the entire staff your complete history,” Sally verbalized. “No one at Paymart cares what I liked to eat for breakfast in kindergarten!”
“It’s nice that they love us, but I wish they’d show it in a way that wasn’t so mortifying!” I commented.
Beck asserted, “I hope we’re not gonna be like that when we have kids! Although I’m pretty sure Belle will run across their schoolyard ‘cause they forgot their crystals or something!” We chuckled at that notion, and then Beck prompted us, “Anyways, let’s move this thing!”
We gave it all of our might, but it didn’t budge. Sam recommended, “Let’s remove the contents to reduce the weight of the unit and make it more transportable.”
We removed all of the books and curios, and we were able to slide it away from the spot Beck needed! Beck resumed his endeavor, but prior to the rest of us resuming ours, an old photo album caught my eye… I opened it up, and I exclaimed, “It’s Great, Great Grandma Hecate’s!”
“Ooh! Maybe it contains some clues about how this house got involved with Pandora’s Box!” Sally excitedly expressed.
“Your great, great grandpa was hella grouchy!” Beck noted as the three of them peered over my shoulders while I flipped through the pages.
I theorized, “He was probably grumpy from working all the time. That’s the type all the women in my family chose to go for.”
Sam vocalized, “Their professions most likely exceeded our own in terms of time consumption since they weren’t privy to our technology! Look, his records were all handwritten!”
“Wait a minute!” I peered at the faded document more closely, and I came to a startling realization. I set the photo album down and grabbed the tin with Grandma Hecate’s love letters, and I placed one of them side by side with the faded document. “It’s from the same year, but this writing doesn’t match my great, great grandpa’s!”
“Oh my gosh! Your great, great grandma was having an affair!” Sally gasped.
I opined, “This is huge!”
Beck asked, “Why? It’s not like we’re tabloids from the eighteen-hundreds!”
“I dunno!” I answered him. “But, it’s proof she was hiding something! I wonder what other secrets are hiding in this building…”
New Trouble, Chapter 17
Luke’s nephew inquired, “What’s going on?”
Since his brows were furrowed, we could infer that Luke didn’t know how to respond to that. A tall male who appeared to work in this library emerged from the aisles with his face pale and his eyes wide, so gathered that he had seen Halorykta’s latest menace. Luke replied to his nephew, “We’re about to find out!” He addressed the worker, “Sir, what did you see?” The male opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, but then he wound up fainting instead! Luke posed to his nephew, “Does that answer your question at all?”
“I gotta see this!” Danny declared as he and his buddies leapt to their feet curiously.
“No, you don’t!” I disagreed. “You need to study!”
Danny rolled his eyes. “Oh, right! Like we can concentrate on our homework with something spooky lurking around here!”
Mary bashfully waved at Luke’s nephew. “Hi, Tommy!”
“Hi, Mary!” Tommy grinned at her. “Say, I’ve been meaning to ask you… Do you have a date for Homecoming yet?”
“We were all just gonna go as a group,” Mary informed him.
Tommy looked disappointed. “Oh, okay! Never mind!”
Beck encouraged him, “Dude, I think she wants to say yes!”
“Really? Tommy gazed at Mary hopefully.
“Forget about her!” a silky female’s voice called out. “I’ll be your date! With me, you’ll get something you’ll never forget!”
Sarah furiously defended her friend, “Listen, you hussie! You keep your paws off of him! Tommy is spoken for!”
The female’s voice urged Tommy, “Oh, come on! Why don’t you come see me for yourself before you say no! I’ll show you what a good time we can have…”
“I don’t have a date yet! Can I come see?” Max longingly stared in the direction she was communicating from.
“Sure!” the female relented.
Max began to race toward her, but I stopped him. Max grumbled, “Man! Why are you such a drag?”
I retorted, “This girl’s trying to lure you over to the same spot that dude just was in, and he got so scared that he passed out, so I probably just saved your life! So, you’re welcome!” I then challenged the female, “Why don’t you come out here and talk to him?”
“Uh… I can’t! I’m naked!” the female sputtered.
“You guys are so bogus!” Danny complained as Sally grabbed him by the shirt collar.
Sam picked up a large book and did some quick calculations. He reached a conclusion, and then he threw the book. A deep, gnarly voice reacted in pain, “Ow!”
Thunderous running was heard, and from the depths of the aisles emerged a creature with the head of a lion and the body of a rhinoceros! Sally joshed the boys, “Are you guys sure you still wanna go to Homecoming with her?”
The beast ran into another section, so we followed it. To our dismay, the five teenagers followed us. We all stopped and glimpsed at each other, wondering what to do about involving a bunch of minors in this apocalyptic affair, but before anyone could air their opinion, Tommy wondered, “Uncle Luke? What was that thing? And why did it wanna go to the dance with me?”
“I don’t know what it is, but I do know it wasn’t gonna do any dancing!” Luke remarked.
“It appears to have situated itself somewhere in the adult section,” Sam observed. “Weren’t we just kicked out of there?”
After biting my lip in concern, I articulated, “They’re not gonna let us back in! How are we supposed to fight that monster?”
Max volunteered, “We’ll do it!”
“You can’t fight a monster!” Beck objected.
“I can too!” Max argued. “I’ll punch it out like this- whack, whack!”
Sally propositioned, “Maybe they can help…”
A woman at the desk was sorting through some VHS cassettes when Luke led the teens inside. “Alright, boys and girls! We gotta do our research without talking since this is a quiet zone, got it?” The teens nodded, and the woman didn’t bat an eyelash as they passed by her.
When we were at a safe distance, Sally as well as Sam, Beck, and I emerged from behind them. Sally softly warned them, “Thank you for that! But just remember, leave the fighting to us!”
“Oh, come on!” Sarah objected. Sally gave her a stern look, so she complied, “Okay, fine! What’s the plan?”
“We can’t tell you!” Beck relayed to her.
Sarah asked, “Why not?”
Beck answered, “Well, ‘cause we don’t know what it is yet!”
“We figure it out as we go along,” I clarified after Sarah and her friends became horrified about our strategy.
“Affirmative,” Sam concurred. “We utilize a system of trials and errors. It mostly winds up being errors, but we get the job done!”
In the distance, we heard a guy catechize, “Who, me?” A different female’s voice mumbled something, and the guy chirped, “Okay!”
We raced to prevent disaster from unfolding. We found the guy by the encyclopedias, and he let out a scream as the beast unhinged its jaws. Luke grabbed a large dictionary, and prior to the beast sinking its teeth into the guy, Luke placed the dictionary into the path of the chomp. The beast’s teeth got stuck in the tome, and its alarm over this development propelled it to flee.
The guy wiped the sweat off of his forehead in alleviation of the grim fate he had avoided. “Phew! That was close! Now, where’s that broad who was hitting on me?” We ignored his enquiry and pursued the beast.
“Hey! How did you four get in here?” the woman at the front desk demanded to know as we hurried past the adult section’s desk.
“Where did it go?” Luke pondered. We heard a flurry of shrieks from the computer room, so he concluded, “Got it!”
The computer users were huddled together in fright. One lady opined, “We probably should’ve gone in the other direction where the door is! Now we’re stuck here!”
A weak female’s voice broadcasted, “The monster left, and it took all my clothes with it!”
“Really?” A young lad avidly darted toward the aisle where he heard the voice.
“No!” Tommy hopped on the table and ran to the beast. Preceding the beast consuming the young lad, Tommy jumped onto the beast’s back! The beast began bucking like a bull in a china shop, and Tommy rued his decision, “Crap! I should’ve thought this through more!”
Luke fretted, “Oh, no! Your mom will kill me if anything happens to you! My mom too!”
Holding on tightly, Tommy petitioned us, “What do I do?”
“Let go!” I advised him.
“As soon as I free myself of your grip, I’m eating you!” the beast apprised Tommy.
I reversed course, “Actually, don’t let go!”
Danny furnished a soda bottle from his pocket. “What if I poured this on it? Like, maybe the liquid will melt it or something?”
Sally shrugged. “Worth a shot!”
He hurled the soda in the beast’s trajectory. It didn’t get much on the beast, but it made the computers fizzle out! That startled beast enough that it bulldozed its way out of the room. Tommy slid off of it and breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh, thank god! I’m never doing that again! Although I’m starting to think I’d be good at the rodeo…”
“Did that thing happen to save my file before the computers crashed?” a boy canvassed us.
“It’s going into the theatre!” Mary observed.
I verbalized, “Okay, well, there aren’t any shows going on at the moment, so we should be safe!”
Beck recalled, “They hold classes in there sometimes.”
“It doesn’t appear to be hosting any lectures or courses this evening,” Sam reckoned. A cacophony of hollering sounded from the space, and Sam’s visage fell. “Crud!”
“Hopefully it’s something full of people who can easily defend themselves!” I crossed my fingers as we zoomed to the area. After we arrived, we read a sign that welcomed the participants of an eighty-year-old and over club, and I bemoaned, “Oh, shit!”
We entered the door at the back of the audience’s arena, and we saw that most of the club members remained rooted to their seats. One elderly bloke puzzled, “What was that animal that galloped in here?”
An older gal gazed at him blankly. “What animal?”
“Hey! Bartholomew is about to get lucky!” A heavily wrinkled codger pointed his knobby finger at the gentleman hobbling onto the stage.
“I’ll be there in a jiffy, turtledove!” Bartholomew promised as he scuttled across the stage. “I just need to take a little blue pill first…”
Sally hurried into the control booth, and she asserted, “And sunlight is the best disinfectant!”
The stage lit up, and Bartholomew halted square in his tracks. “Gadzooks! What in the tarnation is that?”
“Well, since the cat’s out of the bag…” The beast bounded after Bartolomew.
“Run, Bartholomew!” one of his colleagues recommended.
Bartholomew scooted as fast as he could, but the beast was faster… obviously! Fortunately, Sam gave Sally a signal, and a sandbag fell onto the beast’s head! As the beast was pinned to the ground, the teens swiftly pulled Bartholomew off of the stage, and Bartholomew probed, “Are you my nurses?”
The beast didn’t move for a lengthy stretch, and Beck theorized, “Dude! Maybe we killed it!” The beast managed to throw off the sandbag, and Beck added to his statement, “I said maybe!”
After the beast used an exit on the house left, the teens, who were closer, followed it. Max vociferated, “It’s going into the rare books section!”
As we zipped towards those quarters, I commented, “Okay, that’s gotta be empty, right?” The others weren’t so certain…
We gained some reassurance of everyone’s safety when the rare books sector appeared to be empty. We tiptoed along the shelves, and to our disappointment, we heard a female’s voice beckon, “We’re all alone…”
“Alright! Let’s do it!” the fellow acquiesced.
“No!” the ten of us cried out in unison. We rushed over to the source of the sound, but we were surprised to behold a regular couple in the midst of a romantic embrace.
Sam shook his head in disapproval. “Really? Why do so many individuals desire to engage in intercourse while visiting the library?”
Sally defended the idea, “You say that like no one’s ever done it!”
Prior to Sam reacting to that, the beast manifested behind us and leered, “Looking for me?”
“No! Who are you?” the fellow interrogated it.
“Ha, ha! You’re all trapped!” the beast rejoiced. “Tonight, I feast!”
Mary anxiously quizzed us, “What do we do?”
As the beast started stalking us, I instructed, “Just throw anything you’ve got! Maybe something will distract it enough to let us escape!”
The teens emptied their pockets, and Sarah threw the contents of her purse while we chucked books at it. Nothing seemed effective, so the beast asserted, “It’s a good thing I came hungry!”
“Then eat this!” Sarah lobbed an open bag of trail mix into its mouth.
“It’s trying to eat humans, and you give it a healthy snack thinking that’ll satisfy it?” Max glanced at her incredulously. To our astonishment, the beast froze in its footsteps, so Max congratulated Sarah, “Well done!”
The beast’s neck started to bulge, and it croaked out, “Are there peanuts in that bag? I can’t have peanuts!”
I reacted in dumbfoundment, “A monster with a peanut allergy? I don’t remember reading about that in any of the Greek legends!”
Not long after it consumed its allergen, it struggled to breathe. It swayed a bit, and within seconds, it was lying on the floor completely motionless. “Sick! We slayed this… whatever it was!” Danny celebrated.
“Well, we set a guideline against you guys fighting the monsters, and… thanks for breaking the rules! We couldn’t have gotten through this without you!” I gratefully regarded them.
“Whatever! It was more interesting than doing our math homework!” Mary responded.
Sam’s jaw dropped upon hearing that. “You…! You…! You don’t like…?”
Before he could erupt, another library employee found us and scolded, “You twelve have caused too much of a disturbance here! I’m afraid we’re gonna have to ban you from ever returning to Athenyx Library!”
“What did I do?” The fellow glimpsed at his pants, and when he discovered they were still down, he accepted his punishment, “Oh, right! I get it!”
“She did say Athenyx, right?” Sally checked with us in the parking lot. “We can still go to other libraries in Adonis Shores, can’t we? There are so many poetry books that I haven’t read yet!”
Tommy brought up to Luke, “Uncle Luke, what about my essay?”
Luke assured him, “I’ll have a chat with your teacher!”
“What are you gonna tell him?” I pressed him.
“The truth!” Luke saw our stunned expressions, and he elaborated, “We went to the library, and then we had to book it!”
Everyone but me groaned at his pun, but I felt compelled to tack on, “Someone didn’t get their happy ending!”
Sally slapped her forehead. “Oh, jeez! It’s contagious!”
“Hold on… Can I talk to you guys about something?” Luke requested.
New Trouble, Chapter 16
“You know what I want!” Halorykta impatiently stated.
Beck ventured a guess, “You wanna apologize for all the mayhem your monsters caused and for attempting to unleash the apocalypse on our world?”
Halorykta crinkled her nose at that notion. “Uh, no! Why would I do that?”
“It’d be the decent thing to do!” Beck argued.
“Well, that’s not happening! Ever!” Halorykta insisted.
Beck bemoaned, “Drag!”
Sally sarcastically relayed to us, “Gee, isn’t this a coincidence? We were just talking about how we changed our minds about wanting to eradicate humanity!”
“Really?” Halorykta’s eyes glistened with a glimmer of hope.
“Seriously?” Sally scoffed. “And you think mortals are dumb!”
Sam concurred, “Yes! One could do a visual scan of us and discern that we were not experiencing the same evening! In fact, I’m willing to put forth the hypothesis that Sally wasn’t engaging in a lot of discourse at this precise juncture!”
Sally responded, “I wasn’t! But, not for the reason you’re assuming- I was dancing! I was at the Halloween Hoedown!” We gazed at her in surprise, and then she added, “Okay, so maybe I was expecting it’d end with a little horizontal Do-Si-Do…”
“Alright! Not that I’m eager to get back to that freaky Foster jerk, but I don’t really wanna spend my entire night here either, so go ahead- give us your latest spiel and send us back to Earth already!” I told her.
“How dare you treat my invitation like it was a common parlor trick!” Halorykta reacted in offense.
I retorted, “What? We’re supposed to pretend we’re scared of offending you? You’re already sending monsters in our direction pretty constantly, what more could you do to punish us?”
Halorykta contemplated that for a second, and then she irritatedly admitted, “That’s a fair point!”
“Sweet! So, we can go back now, right?” Beck wondered. “I’m doing overtime on a gnarly project, but I promised Belle I’d be home on time to watch our favorite show at dinner!”
“We’re not done yet!” Halorykta snapped.
Beck listlessly regarded her, “Lame!”
Halorykta smiled as she folded her arms. “Wow! You four aren’t as valiant as I once supposed! I had no idea you were just as selfish as every other human being on the planet!”
“We’re not selfish simply because we would prefer not to assist you with your malicious endeavors!” Sam refuted her claim.
“I’m not talking about me!” Halorykta differed.
Sally disagreed, “There’s an odious lie!”
Halorykta elaborated, “No! I mean it! I pegged you as the type to be willing to make personal sacrifices in order to benefit others, but you’re fine with your decision to cause other people to endure more stress and anguish!”
“How in the hell can you argue that we’re hurting our community by not lending a hand with the opening of Pandora’s Box?” I gazed at her incredulously.
“It shocks me that your conscious is clear when your never-ceasing refusal is the source of trauma for the witnesses to all these monster attacks! Some victims have even gotten hurt! And, all the future bystanders to these ambushes will withstand more suffering due to your stubbornness! I’m disappointed in the lack of morals in your character!” Halorykta shook her head in dismay.
For a flash, I did feel guilty for any anguish the citizens of Adonis Shores went through during each of these battles. I did my best to protect them, but there was only so much I could do! More strife would get created from the ceaselessness of us standing our ground! …However, what would have happened if we had taken the alternative option? “So, when you unleash your end-of-the-world chaos, nobody else will be harmed?”
Halorykta shifted somewhat guiltily on her rocky throne. “Well, I mean… technically, they would! But-!”
“Take us home!” I directed her.
“Fine!” Halorykta reluctantly acquiesced. “But, know this- I own a plethora of ugly, dangerous beasts!” The crow on her shoulder glimpsed at her questioningly, so she vexedly assured it, “I wasn’t referring to you!” It looked pleased, but Halorykta looked livid as she worked her magic.
I walked back into Frizzlers, and I saw my blind date speaking to the waitress, “Yes, I will have the filet mignon, and the lady will have the porterhouse. Sixteen ounces- I can tell that girl can handle some big meat!”
The waitress briefly glanced at me, and then she informed him, “Sir, she’s been gone for a while! I’m pretty sure she went out the back door…”
As he insisted I would return, I gave the waitress a thumbs-up and exited through the rear entrance.
I read through a letter pretty thoroughly at the desk. Mister Macquire emerged from his office and queried, “That seems fairly lengthy! It’s a glowing review, isn’t it?”
“No, sorry,” I apologized.
“Oh, no! It’s a complaint? What did you do?” He snatched the letter from me, and he frowned. “This is an advertisement for a carpet cleaner service!”
I explained myself, “Yeah, I blew through my magazine, and I got bored. I’m meeting my friends at the library later, so I’ll be sure to grab a book for tomorrow!”
Mister Macquire suggested, “Well, if you need something to do, you can brew a fresh cup of coffee!”
“Uh, I already did that…” I indicated to the urn on the table by his office door.
“Yeah… That’s not coffee!” he snidely corrected me. “That’s more like caffeinated water! Don’t be afraid to use some beans! We host some high-end clients, and we wouldn’t want anyone to complain about us…”
I objected, “Oh, come on! Everyone has different ideas on what strength coffee should be! Besides, who would complain about this place?”
As if on cue, an older woman in a pant suit entered into the facility. “Hi, I’m Celine Stubblefield! I contacted you recently about the new wing of the art museum…”
“Great! Let’s discuss it in my office!” Mister Macquire invited her. “Penelope, would you make our distinguished visitor some coffee?”
“Uh, it looks like there’s a fresh pot already made…” Celine pointed out. He stood there like she slapped him in the face, and as I basked in this triumph, Celine did a double-take at me. “You look familiar…”
That comment caught me off guard. “I do? Oh, maybe you recognize me from the community theatre!”
Celine contemplated that matter for a spell. “No… It was something more recent… Oh, I’ve got it! You were one of those folks at the mall fighting that monster!”
“Ah… Um, I didn’t… That wasn’t me!” I stuttered slightly from her recollection.
“Are you certain?” Celine challenged me. “You look an awful lot like that anxious young woman throwing some cannabis into a monster’s mouth!”
I cringed that this our of anything was what she remembered about me! Mister Macquire ogled at me in a judgmental fashion, so I had to fib, “Well, obviously, that wasn’t me! I’m not young- I’m almost middle-aged!”
Celine pursed her lips. “Really? I could’ve sworn…”
“On second thought, I do need to make more coffee!” I sprang out of my chair and sped towards the coffeemaker. “Now that I think about it, I’m pretty positive this is decaf!”
“Decaf? What’s the purpose of drinking that if it doesn’t wake you up?” Celine kidded.
Mister Macquire seemed really relieved to see her off of the previous subject. “Alright! Shall we?” He gestured towards his office, and Celine gladly headed in there. As I poured the perfectly fine brew down the bathroom sink drain, Mister Macquire shot me a quick glare. Once he left, I sighed and wondered how many encounters like this I would have to undergo…
At the library, a group of teens was chatting away at the table next to us. The blonde gal petitioned her friends, “What? Romeo & Juliet looks totally kickin’!”
“Sarah, you doofus! We’re not seeing some totally mushy junk on Halloween weekend!” the black-haired guy with his baseball hat on backwards protested.
“It’s not that mushy, Max!” Sarah debated him. “It’s got some dope fight scenes, dude!”
The long, red-maned fellow verbalized, “Oh, yeah! Shakespeare’s so fresh! I’m hella hyped for that! …Psych!”
After throwing a wad of paper at him, Sarah chided the red-maned fellow, “Don’t be such a butthead, Danny! Mary, back me up!”
“It does look fly, but yo, not for Halloween!” Mary, the brunette determined. “What about Sleepers?”
“That looks rad!” Max opined.
Danny disagreed, “As if! Mary just wants to drool over how bodacious Brad Pitt is!”
Mary put her palm up to Danny’s face and ordered, “Talk to the hand, boo!”
Sam gritted his teeth as he followed this conversation. “Ugh! I can’t take any more of this inane chatter!”
“Oh, be nice!” I recommended to him. “It wasn’t that long ago we were teens in the library annoying adults while we talked about how ‘groovy’ and ‘far out’ flicks like The French Connection and Shaft were!”
“Those movies came out twenty-five years ago, so it kinda was a long time ago!” Beck thought about that for a moment, and then he remarked, “Damn! I bummed myself out!”
The teenagers laughed uproariously about something, and Sam griped, “Why did we sit in the Young Adults’ section anyway?”
I reminded him, “We were kicked out of the grown-ups’ side for being too loud.”
“We were not that loud!’ Sam refuted that accusation.
“Ah, this is so good! Listen to this: ‘She is mine- oh, yes/ She is mine! But I do not own her,/ for no one in this/ dreadful universe/ could ever own the/ night!’ Brilliant!” Sally hugged a book of Greek poetry tightly against her chest.
Sam’s memory was fully caught after listening to her melodrama. “Oh, right!”
I addressed the other three, “This is fine! With so many other discussions going on, no one is going to listen too closely to us! Now, let’s focus on what’s important at this second- Have we learned anything about Pandora’s Box?”
“Zeus was kind of a douche!” Beck put in. “Why would he give someone a box if they can’t ever open it?”
“What about the key?” I prompted him.
Sally shook her head. “They all say the same thing– it was opened, and then she closed it. It doesn’t mention how she locked it back up! I dunno why- that sounds like an interesting story too!”
I asked my besties, “Okay. Well, what about potential monsters we could face?”
“There a myriad of mythological creatures listed in various texts,” Sam reported. “None of them specifically indicate that they belong to Halorykta or habitate in California!”
“I’m curious about the giants,” Sally brought up. “Exactly how large is their… size?”
Beck posed to Sally, “Really? You’d go to bed with a monster?”
Sally shrugged. “If it’d help save the world! I mean, it’s something we haven’t tried yet!”
“That’s some play you guys are writing!” Luke conveyed to us as he strolled into the youthful quarters.
“Play? What, are you high?” Beck broadcast to him. “And, why aren’t you sharing?”
Luke used his noggin to gesture to the adolescent boy standing next to him. “You know… The script you’re writing…”
Beck caught onto his ploy. “Oh, that! Yeah, none of this stuff really happened to us!”
“It is a ridiculous plot, really,” Sam opined. “No one would believe it’s reality!”
“Don’t worry! We won’t interrupt your… writing session for too long! My nephew and I will go to the other side of the room to work on his essay, and it’s gonna be a completely normal evening!” Luke reassured us. Suddenly, commotion was heard around the corner, and Luke rubbed his temples in frustration. “When I said that, I didn’t mean to imply that this was the new normal!”
New Trouble, Chapter 15
“Don’t worry- I didn’t forget about you!” I reassured Scully as I entered into the Hecate House. “I was treating my friends to dinner to pay them back for helping me fix this place up! You’ve seen them here!” I filled her bowl, and as she merrily munched on her kibble, I went on, “It was fine except Sally tried to hit on the guy at the table next to us, and then he tried to hit on Beck! It took Beck a long time to realize it, too! I don’t know who got more jealous- Sally or Beck’s girlfriend!” I tittered at that recent memory, and then I frowned as I recalled another one. “When Belle used the restroom, I mentioned my theory about Luke being the key, and Sally was all like, ‘That doesn’t mean you can’t date him!’ Ugh! They knew all along that I have feelings for him? Oh, I just wanted to disappear into the walls and never return, I was so embarrassed! Yes, it does sound like they approve, which is what I was scared of originally, but now, if I’m right about him being the key, how could I date him? He’s the key to Pandora’s Box, and he could get used to unleash an apocalyptic force onto the world- it seems irresponsible to keep him so close to me, especially when a goddess who wants the key keeps summoning me to her lair! I can’t risk the world ending just for a bit of romance- I’m not crazy! Well, I am spilling my guts out to a cat! And the scary thing is I think you’re listening!” I glanced around the room as if I needed to address another person close to me. No one else was there, so I stated, “Someone’s listening anyway…”
When Scully was sated, she rubbed herself against my legs. I pet her, and I promised her, “Aww! It’s okay! It won’t be long before we’re roommates! I’ll have this home fixed up soon!” A cabinet door in the kitchen randomly fell off of its hinges, so I corrected my previous sentence, “Well, it depends on your definition of soon…!”
Back in my apartment, I stepped into the shower before bedtime. I turned the knob for the water, and nothing came out! I put on a towel and called the super. He gruffly greeted me, “What?”
“Uh… I just wanted to report that my water went out,” I gingerly told him. “I’m in unit-!”
“Yes, yes! I know! I had to shut it off ‘cause there’s a major leak in the building! God, you people can’t give me a minute to get a notice out about it!” the super griped. “Shouldn’t you all be sleeping by now?’
I shot back, “I’m trying to go to bed! Bathing helps me relax!”
He snapped, “Yeah, well, find another way to relax! It’ll be out all night!” He hung up, so I put down my receiver and sighed.
Scully got startled when I reentered into the Hecate House. “Sorry! I just need to use the shower!” She gazed at me questioningly, so I defended myself, “What? I can’t go into work with oily hair! And, I wanna sleep well tonight! And, you’re a cat, so I’m just gonna do what I want!”
I shone the flashlight upwards, and I was already having misgivings about this decision. I owned this property, but it still felt like I was encroaching on somewhere I wasn’t supposed to visit! I distracted myself from this notion by observing the pictures on the wall. I smiled to see a school picture of mine, and it was cute to see one of my mom as a little girl! And then…
At the end, I saw a portrait of my great, great-grandmother, Hecate, on her wedding day! It was thrilling to have that piece of history in my possession, but it seemed strange to me that the bride and groom both looked so unhappy! I mean, I know individuals from that era never smiled for photographs, but usually you could see a sparkle in their eyes or a glow on their cheeks suggesting they were suppressing a grin, but in this picture, Hecate truly appeared unhappy! It was so strange to me because those love letters I found were so romantic! Why was she so miffed on her wedding day…?
I set the flashlight down in a manner that had it illuminate the entire bathroom, and I convinced myself that this would be fine. I began to disrobe, and I got cold feet! I grabbed all of my things, fled downstairs, and bid farewell to Scully, “See you tomorrow!”
The corporation was quiet until I burst in! The secretary nearly dropped the file in her hand upon my entrance, and then she hesitantly regarded me, “Excuse me, ma’am, but we don’t have our restrooms open to the public!”
“Oh, no! I’m here for the file clerk position!” I corrected her misimpression. “I had an interview scheduled for noon, but I’m running a bit late…”
“I see…” The secretary clearly became dismayed to learn this. “Well, Missus Abdul is running a bit late with her last one, so you’re in luck! Just have a seat, and she should be out shortly.”
I beamed at her graciously despite her obvious judgment of me. I took off my overcoat to show off the nice blouse I had on, and I straightened out my pony to keep it normal-looking enough to hide the unshampooed mess it really was. I sat down on a plush chair, and the guy next to me gave me a side eye. I was already having my doubts about potentially working for this establishment, but I was determined not to waste my time and decided to stay.
Missus Abdul emerged at twelve fifteen. She sat me down and instructed me, “Tell me about yourself.”
“Well, I have a degree in business, and-” I began to fill her in.
“No, who are you?” Missus Abdul probed. “We all wear different hats in life- which one is on you right now?”
I blinked in confusion. “Um… A working hat?”
It didn’t go up from there! She had a ton of existential questions, and I wish I had prepped with Belle because it was right up her alley! This charade went on for several minutes, and by the time we were done, it was twelve-thirty-five! I was already five minutes late back from lunch, and it would still take a few minutes to get back to Mister Macquire’s office! I rushed as fast as I could, and when I sat down, I was all out of breath! I was just drumming up some excuses for my tardiness when…
“Penelope!” Mister Macquire marched up ot my desk with a frown on his visage. I braced myself for the worst, but then he relayed to me, “I’m sorry if I missed any calls! I was in the middle of something, and I just didn’t wanna be interrupted!”
“You didn’t get any calls!” I lied. I glanced at the answering machine, and I saw a couple of messages waiting to be heard.
He exhaled in alleviation. “Oh, good! I’m gonna go on an early lunch, so if anyone calls, just give me their details later.”
I gladly agreed, “You got it!”
Mister Macquire started to leave, but then he circled back and apprised me, “Go lighter on the mousse! It’s making your hair look greasy!” I crinkled my nose at his bluntness, but all things considered, I got off easy!
After I clocked out, I walked into Goldi Locks. Kitty jovially greeted me, “Penny! Mija! Oof- are we here for a shampoo?”
“They turned off the water at Artemis Arms!” I informed her as I roosted myself at the washing station. “It’s probably back on by now, but I just needed to see a friendly face!”
“What’s going on?” Kitty inquired as she rinsed my hair.
I regaled her, “Well, for starters, I skipped my lunch break to go on an interview, and that was a disaster! I snuck and ate my sandwich at my desk, and if Mister Macquire had seen me do that, I would’ve been canned for sure! Then, this weekend, I had to deal with yet another-!” I stopped myself before I accidentally blurted out about my supernatural woes to the one person in Adonis Shores who thought I was normal!
Kitty pressed me, “What is it? You can tell me anything!”
“I know, but… it’s not something I wanna discuss in public!” I finally came up with a method of being honest with her! Oh sure, she probably assumed I had a feminine health issue, but that was better than trying to explain the truth!
“Oh, gosh! That’s a lot to deal with!” Kitty sympathized with me. “What about the handsome dude you met recently? Did you get his number?”
I responded, “Yeah, but I haven’t called him yet ‘cause…”
Kitty advised me, “Call him! You’ll feel a lot better if you go on a nice date! That’s what I keep telling my son about the girl he likes- if he doesn’t ask her out soon, he may lose her! Do you want that to happen?”
“No, but…” I wanted to justify my reluctance, but how was I supposed to explain the key thing to someone not privy to that world?
“Uh-uh! No buts!” Kitty insisted. “You call him and go have fun! You’ll regret it if you don’t!”
As I paid her a couple of dollars, I privately deemed her as correct. I certainly didn’t want ot miss my chance with him, but it was a little more complicated than mere nerves…
The next day, I walked into a crowded steakhouse, and the hostess greeted me, “Welcome to Frizzlers! Party of one?”
“No, I’m meeting my mom here.” I was partly curious why she assumed I would be dining solo, but I wasn’t in the mood to argue. “She would’ve refused to give you her first name and would’ve insisted you call her Missus Alexander. Her name is Helen, just FYI!”
“Oh, yes! Right this way!” She grabbed a menu and led me toward a table.
She halted in front of a booth where a somewhat geeky man in a suit sat, and the hostess announced, “Here you are!”
I was flabbergasted by how egregious her error appeared! Still, I tried to avoid coming across as mean as I addressed her, “Um, he is not my mom…”
“No, but you can call me Daddy!’ the man lecherously invited me.
“Charming! No, thank you!” I asserted. I turned to the hostess and notified her, “My mom is Helen… He doesn’t quite look like a Helen…”
The waitress briefed me, “Actually, she made the reservation for Mister Foster here!”
He happily extended his hand toward me. “You must be Missus Alexander’s daughter! She told me so much about you!”
“Yes, I wish I could say the same about you!” I shook his hand quite reluctantly, and as the hostess left, I cringed because now I was alone with him. I took a seat across from Mister Foster, and I mumbled, “Yes, I’m the daughter of ‘Missus Alexander!’ She’s so proud of her last name, even though she married a man with the same one as her maiden name!”
“So, what do you do?” he conversed.
I unenthusiastically conveyed to him, “Well, at the moment, I’m a receptionist for an architect.”
He quizzed me, “No! What do you do in the bedroom?”
“Wow! You’re so classy! Where did my mom pick you up from? A dive bar or a sleazy motel?” I retorted.
“I’m her banker at Bells Cargo,” he commented.
My eyes widened at that premise. “That reminds me… I’ve been meaning to switch to a credit union…”
He affirmed, “But, if doing it in at one of those places is your thing, I’d be down with it!” I buried my head in my hands, and he catechized, “What does that mean? Did I excite you?”
“Did you excite me? Are you really that moronic?” I lifted my head up, and I saw a crystal above me! “Oh! That! That means… I gotta go to the bathroom! Excuse me!”
“Do you want me to join you?” he called after me.
As I ran, I beseeched him, “Please, don’t!”
When I landed in Halorykta’s cavern palace, I saw Beck in his electrician’s uniform, Sally in a cute witch’s costume, and Sam in a knight’s attire. Sam grumped, “I hope the Game Master saves my turn! I bet the hubris of my opponent is extremely elevated under the assumption that he performed authentic magic on me!”
“Look, Sam! Cool it! None of us wanted to be here!” Sally reacted to his complaint.
“I did!” I disagreed. The other three gawked at me in disbelief, so I clarified, “My mom set me up with her creepy banker!”
Sally wondered, “Is his last name Foster?” I glimpsed at her in surprise, so she illuminated me, “He was a customer at my store! An old lady complained ‘cause he was walking around the aisles with a huge-.”
Halorykta cleared her throat, “Ah-hem! Hello? Me here!”
“What do you want?” I folded my arms as I awaited her reply.
New Trouble, Chapter 14
“Maybe it’s nothing!” I theorized as we ran to the other side of Toys in the Attic. “A lot of little kids come here, so they could’ve caused that racket! We could get there and not find anything!” We arrived and found the toddler section nearly empty, which stunned me completely. “Wait, I was accurate? That can’t be right?”
“Look at them!” Luke indicated to some individuals at the end of the aisle, huddling together with scared expressions. “Clearly, something happened!”
Sam took a couple of steps closer and addressed the individuals, “Excuse me, but would you be so kind as to-?”
A small girl shouted, “Bear!”
“Oh, no! This is mine!” Sam lowered the bear so that it was out of her sight, and then he tried again, “Would you be so kind as to-?”
“Where bear go?” the small girl wondered.
Sam used a baby voice as he told her, “Bear went bye-bye!” I gazed at him in shock, so he asked, “What?”
I answered, “Sorry! I’ve just never heard you use anything but geek talk!”
“Well, I’m not going ot communicate with an infant in that manner! That would be preposterous!” Sam relayed to me.
“What happened over here?” Luke petitioned the individuals.
A man filled us in, “This place is haunted!”
Luke’s face became skeptical upon hearing that. “A haunted toy store?”
“Why not? My cousin in Sunnyvale said the one by him is haunted!” the man defended his position.
“There’s…! Oh, who am I kidding? Monsters are real, so why not ghosts?” Luke articulated.
I pressed the individuals, “What makes you think something is haunting the store?”
An old lady briefed us, “We were looking at playpens over there, and we suddenly all got pushed away from the spot!”
“That does suggest the presence of a ghost!” Sam stated.
“And, it smelled like pee there all of a sudden!” the old woman added.
Sam determined, “Oh, that’s not a ghost! Ghosts don’t emit that type of odor!”
The old woman challenged him, “Then, how do you explain the pee smell?”
“Humans can produce that sort of stench…” Sam verbalized.
“Are you implying that I soiled myself?” The old woman became highly affronted.
Sam assured her, “No, no, no! I was referring to your granddaughter!”
The old woman yelled, “I suffer from incontinence, but I wear a sanitary napkin to keep the odor under control!”
“Okay, I didn’t need to know any of that!” Sam put both of his arms in front of himself as if he was trying to put even more distance between the two of them.
“Bear!” The small girl eagerly tried to reach for the Carter bear.
Sam groaned, “Oh, crap! Sweetie, I can’t let you have it!”
The small girl got antsy. “Bear! Bear!”
“Can’t you let her play with it for a while?” the man requested.
“No way! It’s a collector’s item!” Sam refused. The small girl started crying, and Sam felt bad, so he offered, “How about I give you another toy?” He grabbed a red, furry character from a kiddie TV show and began to deliver it to her. “See? He’s kinda cute, isn’t he? Personally, I’m more fond of Mister Moose, but-!”
Quite abruptly, Sam collided with something! He fell to the ground, and the old woman queried, “It smells like pee, doesn’t it?”
Sam confirmed, “Actually, it does! Uh-oh! Something’s breathing on me!”
“Seriously? Damn!” Luke lamented. “A ghost would’ve been easy! Just burn some sage and get it over with!”
“That sounded like a deer!” I noted as an angry grunt huffed from his spot. At that moment, a creature with the head of a stag, giant horns, and a body like an ox appeared! It flipped Sam to the end of the aisle, and I exclaimed, “That deer’s on steroids!”
The colors on its coat swirled around, and then it changed to match the area around it! Luke observed, “It’s a chameleon buck-bull thing!”
I furrowed my brows. “Why does it stink so bad?”
“I’m fine, by the way!” Sam grumped as he rubbed his landing site, which was on his posterior.
“Man fall down, go boom!” The small girl clapped in delight.
I remarked, “At least someone’s having fun!” We heard the beast emit an aggressive noise, so I posed to Luke and Sam, “Which one of us is it ready to charge at?”
Luke suggested, “How about everyone run?” All of those in the beast’s potential range scrambled to remove themselves from harm’s path.
As Luke and I turned into the doll aisle, we could feel the beast’s breath on our backs! We quickly climbed the shelf nearest to us, and we narrowly missed getting hit! We caught our breath, and then Luke glimpsed at the packages around him currently. “Portable Patsy! ‘The dollhouse you can carry in your pocket!’ Hmm, I feel like this would wind up getting lost parts in ten seconds!”
“Where’s Sam?” I wondered.
“Right here!” Sam poked himself into our view and waved, and then he apprised us, “I brought that family into the warehouse to hide. The grandmother accused me of getting fresh with her, but she didn’t sound terribly upset about that premise…”
An employee entered into the vicinity and scolded Luke and me, “Hey! We don’t allow children to scale the display shelves, so we definitely don’t allow adults to do it either!”
I warned him, “Sir! Mo ve! You’re in terrible danger!”
“From what?” The employee folded his arms defiantly.
“Oh! Um, it’s a… well…” I wasn’t sure how to describe the beast or the peril it presented. Preceding me coming up with something, the employee found himself getting butted with enough strength to send him flying into princess dress-up costumes! I responded to his enquiry, “That!”
One of his colleagues saw him crumpled up in a heap, and he reminded him, “Billy! You’re not supposed to hang out in the shelves like that! It’ll look bad to our customers, and… Ow! Something’s eating me!”
I picked up a fairy figure, and as I prepared myself to throw it, I shouted, “Leave him alone!” The fairy figure didn’t go anywhere near the beast, so I pouted, “It’s the thought that counts!”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you!” Luke reached to the other side of the aisle and obtained a superhero’s car. He hurled it and successfully hit the beast, and we expected it to run toward our direction, but it apparently decided to head toward another part of the store! “Aw, darn! I was hoping we could fight a monster sitting down for once!”
“I’m on it!” Sam declared while peddling a little bicycle.
Luke and I found Sam fending off some middle schoolers from a nearly invisible beast with a giant foam hammer. One of the middle schoolers catechized, “How is that toy actually working to save us?”
Sam advised them, “I don’t know, but pray that it continues to work!”
“We’re surrounded by video games!” Luke asserted. “Using these will just waste our time!”
“You sound like my mom!” another middle schooler alleged.
The beast caught onto the hammer and began consuming it, and Sam hypothesized, “Aha! Perhaps the hormone disruptions the chemical makeup of this product can generate when ingested will calm this monster down!”
I differed with him slightly, “That’ll probably take too long!” I spotted a display of digital pets on a keychain, and I knocked it down onto the beast. The beast bucked it, which sent it zooming back to our site! We ducked, and it collided with a barrel full of CDs. I apologized, “My bad! I saw that going better for us!”
We could hear the beast growling, and we readied ourselves to speed up to the top of the shelves again, but Sam threw a cloak onto it. That covered its vision, and as it strove to shake it off, it veered towards another section. As we followed it, I canvassed the other two, “So, how do we actually defeat this thing?”
“There’s nothing in this store that’ll work!” Luke assessed as we discovered we were in the board game sector. “Maybe we can get it to go outside! Deer get hit by cars all the time!”
“How do we convince it to go outside, though?” Sam quizzed him. “We’d need to offer someone as bait!”
I muttered, “Where’s Ned when I need him?”
Sam decreed, “That’s alright, I’ve got this! Time for me to man up!” He hopped onto that little bicycle and rode with a speedy determination.
The beast finally removed the cloak off of itself, and when it saw Sam by the entrance, it emitted an angry utterance prior to gearing itself up to charge. Sam gulped, but he didn’t back down. The beast galloped at full velocity, and as soon as it got close enough to the entrance, Sam wheeled himself out of the beast’s trajectory. The beast couldn’t hit its brakes fast enough, and it slid outside!
…For a nanosecond! The beast came back inside, and Sam exclaimed, “Darn those automatic doors!”
“That didn’t last very long! Boy, I’ve sure had to say that a lot in my lifetime!” I joked as we watched Sam furiously pedal away from the beast.
“Really? Wow, that’s a shame!” Luke sympathetically glanced at me.
My heart skipped a beat as I absorbed the amorous implications of his statement. I would’ve loved to have delved further into that, but obviously, I couldn’t let one of my best friends languish like that, so I tore myself from that temptation and edicted, “We need to do something to slow that thing down!”
Luke and I contemplated the matter for a moment, and then Luke propositioned, “Well, cars gotta slow down when the road is slick. Maybe we can do something to make its pathway slippery!”
We scoped out the scenery, and I sighted a large bag of marbles. I swiftly seized it, and once Sam rode by, I dumped the contents onto the tile. The beast didn’t detect the hindrances until it was too late! Instead of slowing down, it sped up! It didn’t have control of its motion though, and it tried its hardest to cease its movement, but it couldn’t! To its horror, it slammed headfirst into the wall! Its giant horns lodged into the barrier, and regardless of what it did, it couldn’t free itself from this ensnarement.
“Now what?” I surveyed the other two as we watched the beast continue to struggle.
“I guess we gotta slay it!” Luke ventured. “Oof! We can’t do that in front of the children! They’ll get traumatized! …More so, probably!”
Sam breathily opined, “We… cannot… let…it… extricate… itself…! …Too… dangerous!”
I bemoaned, “Why couldn’t it have kicked the bucket on its own like the rest of the monsters!”
As if on cue, the beast began to hyperventilate. It took more and more rapid inhales until, suddenly, its body became incredibly still! “Oh, thank god!” Luke exhaled in alleviation.
“Yay! Again! Again!” The small girl and her family emerged from the back, and her dad peered at her questioningly.
“My hero!” The old woman stared at Sam coquettishly.
Sam proclaimed, “Okay! We need to vacate the premises immediately!” He almost darted out, and then he recalled, “Oh, wait! I still gotta pay for the Jimmy Carter bear!”
The employees gawked at the beast as it disappeared, and Billy notified Sam, “We… We’re gonna need a minute!”
“Um, hello? I’ve been waiting in my cab forever now, and I…!” The passenger from Luke’s taxi beheld the aftermath of our ordeal, and her visage contorted into astonishment and alarm. “What on Earth happened here?”
“Oh… You know how rabid these Teeney Bobbies’ fans get when a new model comes out!” Luke fibbed. He turned to Sam and me and jovially vocalized, “I look forward to surviving the next one with you guys!”
Once we exchanged goodbyes with him, Sam and I traversed toward the cash registers. I mulled over what Luke just broadcasted, and I mixed it with Sam automatically assuming that we would encounter a monster upon his arrival, and a crazy conclusion got concocted in my thoughts. “Akrivisa said the key could be anything, right?”
Sam certified this, “Affirmative.”
I uncomfortably speculated, “What if it’s him? Every time he’s near us, a monster shows up! What if Luke is the key?”
New Trouble, Chapter 13
Sally stated, “It was a dumbwaiter!”
“Oh, please! Not another story about your dates!” Sam protested. “They always make me feel like I need to bathe afterwards!”
“Hey! I never dated a dumb waiter!” Sally mulled that over for a moment, and then she reconsidered her claim, “Actually, there was this one guy I met when I visited my aunt in Florida…”
From upstairs, Beck relayed to Sam, “If you need to use the shower, this one up here works! I just used it to wash off that present Scully left for us on the porch!”
I defended her, “She didn’t mean to do that! She’s been here alone for a long time, she’s not used to having company!”
“Well, I’m not going up there ‘til the safety of the structure has been verified!” Sam conveyed to Beck. “I’m not inclined to risk falling through the floor!”
“You won’t unless you stand on this exact spot!” Sally gestured to an outline she had made with chalk. “There used to be a dumbwaiter here! You know- a small elevator with ropes and pulleys that they used to use back in the day for food and stuff!”
Sam’s expression suddenly became bashful upon hearing that. “Oh! I should have known that!”
Sally laughed, “Ha! It’s not often I get to make you look stupid!”
“So, someone somewhere down the line took it out and just covered the missing spot without replacing the subfloor?” I surmised.
“Exactly!” Sally confirmed. “Whoever redid your grandma’s kitchen was either lazy or incompetent!”
Beck joked, “Maybe one of your grandpas was a dumb waiter!”
We all chortled at that, but then I filled them in, “Actually, all of the women in my family married into more prominent families just ‘cause they believed we’re cursed ‘til we change our last names!”
“So, none of your grandmas was ever in love?” Sam wondered.
“Unless they lucked out and won the heart of someone rich!” I contemplated that sentence, and then I corrected it, “I shouldn’t say ‘luck!’ I don’t think it’s necessary to have a ton of money to live happily ever after!”
Sam seemed surprised by that notion. “Really? So, when you picture your ideal husband, you wouldn’t consider a sizeable sum of cash flow as part of the utopian circumstances?”
I pretended to wipe the sweat off of my face to hide my blushing cheeks. Truthfully, the more I interacted with Luke, the more I imagined him becoming my life partner, but I didn’t want to admit that to them! Yes, they were my best friends that I’ve told everything to up until that point, but I didn’t want to hear them convince me that I was making a mistake by crushing on Luke so hard! I feared they would tell me it’s too risky to date an ally to our supernatural adventures, or worse, that he was too perfect to get together with a hot mess like me! So, I strove to come up with an excuse for saying something like that…
“Ned had money, and look how that turned out!” I reminded them. “Besides, it’d be much more important for him to be supportive and kind!” They appeared to have bought that argument, which was a relief, but to really cement this victory, I redirected their attention by probing, “What about you, Sam? Would money be so important?”
“Well, I would want a woman as intelligent and beguiling as Captain Uhura, but I suppose a moderate fortune wouldn’t be necessary! No, I take that back- we would need to have enough in our savings to buy expensive collectibles and go to all the Comic Cons!” Sam savored the picture his description elicited.
Sally conversed, “I’d like my true love to make enough for me to be able to quit my stupid job! I’d start a business building furniture or something! But, obviously, the most important thing would be how much he pleases me in the bedroom! He’d… Well, I’d better not go into specifics so Sam doesn’t have to cleanse himself!”
I asked Beck, “What about you? Is Belle your perfect match?”
“She drives me crazy in every sense of the phrase!” Beck opined.
“Are you gonna marry her?” Sally posed to him.
Beck reported, “Probably! But, I’ve been warned not to propose until a certain astrology thingy comes along or goes away or something to create good karma or whatever. I dunno- she mentioned Uranus, and I couldn’t stop giggling!”
Sam inquired, “Have you considered different methods on how you’ll request her hand in matrimony?”
“Nah! She’ll tell me when it’s time,” Beck replied. “That’s fine ‘cause she’s gonna wanna pick out the ring too. If I get one that doesn’t jive with her vibrations or whatever, she’ll get major upset!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t like that at all!” Sally put in. “If I waited ‘til I was almost forty to find Mister Right, I’d want the works! I’m talking flowers, music, beautiful clothes, and everything romantic! I’d wanna be totally surprised, and after he recites a poem about how much he loves me, he’d get down on one knee and ask me to be his wife!” Sally smiled as she imagined this scenario, and then she quizzed me, “How did Ned do it again?”
I had to set down the plank in my grip as I cringed at the memory she drew out. “He hid the ring in the dessert at the Country Club!”
Sam recalled, “Oh, yeah! Didn’t you choke on it?”
“Yeah! They served angel food cake- I couldn’t see it! So, of course, I swallowed it! I was trying to hurry and eat ‘cause he ate dairy, and I was trying to avoid him having a blowout in front of all those snobs! Well, as soon as he did the choking maneuver and got it out, he had to race to the men’s room. The whole restaurant could smell what he was doing, so I got embarrassed and left!” I shuddered at that recollection.
“Why’d you marry him?” Beck pressed me.
I responded, “You keep asking me that when I keep asking myself the same thing! I cleaned the ring off because everyone had seen what came out, and when he found me on the beach, he told me what he meant to say earlier, and it was really lovely! The ocean drowned out the smell, so it was kinda perfect! I’d like something like that, but not gross and not Ned!”
Sally remarked, “We’ll keep that in mind for when a certain someone decides to pop the question!”
“You think he would? We just met, and… I mean, I don’t know who you’re referring to! I…!” I realized Sally may have been referencing someone vague in the future, and my statement certified that I had somebody in mind! I panicked- I wasn’t ready to admit my feelings about him yet! My alarm heightened, and I aimed for the door. I wound up tripping on a hammer, and I created a new hole where the dumbwaiter was previously situated! My legs were sticking up in the air since I fell onto my bottom, and I knew I must’ve appeared absolutely ridiculous, but I hoped that this would have successfully distracted them from what I just said! “Well, at least no one has to go downstairs to get my shoes!”
“That’s one way to git rid of the old floorboards!” Sally kidded as she and Sam helped me get up. “Are you alright?”
I assured her, “I’m fine!”
Sally snickered, “Good! It’s okay for us to laugh then!”
All three of them roared in mirth, and I took it in stride since I probably would’ve done the same thing if one of them acted like a klutz! As they were engrossed in this amusement, my eye happened to catch something beneath the floor…
“There’s something in there!” I announced. As I stooped down to retrieve it, Beck came to our level, and they watched me curiously as I reached for the mysterious object. “Maybe it’s the key!” I expressed hopefully.
“Ooh! A hidden relic! This is so exciting!” Sam gushed. When I pulled out a bottle of champagne, he reversed course, “Never mind!”
Beck argued, “Yo, dudes! Akrivisa did say the key could be almost anything!”
Sam countered, “Pandora’s Box has been around since ancient times, and this bottle is dated at eighteen ninety!”
“They could’ve changed locks since then!” Beck insisted.
“There’s a label- to my beloved, Hecate! Aww! See, some of the people in my family experienced true love!” I showed it to them.
Sally suggested, “Let’s crack it open!”
I decreed, “No, let’s save it for when this monster drama is over!” They agreed with my decision, but then they grew a bit despondent. I consoled them, “It’ll be soon!” They half-heartedly concurred as they returned to work, so I attempted to buoy their spirits, “So, Sam, how would you propose to a girl?” As he prattled on about leaving a series of math equations that led to clues, I privately wondered if there was more to the bubbly than met the eye, but I wasn’t sure why…
The next day, I waited in front of the Toys in the Attic store. I saw a cab pull into a spot a few cars down from where I was, and a part of me wanted to go over and say hello, but if it wasn’t Luke, I would have felt dumb. The young woman who emerged from the vehicle walked right past me as she entered into the store, and I was tempted to ask her who her driver was, but that would’ve been weird. I was peering over the roof of a wood-paneled van when…
“Penny! What are you trying to observe there?” Sam petitioned me.
“Nothing!” I lied. He understandably was highly skeptical of that claim, but preceding him interrogating me any further, I propositioned, “Let’s head in, shall we?”
While we strolled down the aisles, Sam graciously regarded me, “Thanks for helping me out today!”
I grinned. “Of course! It’ll be fun to help pick out a birthday gift for your nephew! How old is he? Eight? Nine?”
“He’s nine, but that’s not why I invited you here…” Sam guiltily shifted as we stood by a collection of stuffed animals.
“It’s not his birthday?” I glimpsed at him suspiciously. Sam was usually pretty straightforward, so for him to be deceptive like that was intriguing.
Sam slowly confessed, “Well, it is! I need to get him a gift too, but I came because I need your assistance with something else… You see, the Teeney Bobbies Company is releasing a Jimmy Carter Peanut Farm bear to commemorate twenty years since he got elected, and limited editions tend to sell fast… Now, me being a male, I’d look rather foolish fighting for a teddy bear…”
My eyes widened upon absorbing that prospect. “You brought me here to battle against little kids just to get you a toy?”
“It’s a collectible!” Sam quibbled. “If I invest a few bucks now, in thirty years, it’ll be worth hundreds or even thousands!”
“I’m not gonna wrestle children just so you can make a profit in twenty-twenty-six!” I objected.
Sam pouted, “You can scoff at my idea if you want, but when we’re retired, I won’t have to worry about depleting my checking too much, if at all, just to survive!” I shook my head in dismay, and Sam began to get antsy. “Oh, please, Penny! Don’t make me remind you of the favor you owe me…”
I questioned him, “What favor? I’m paying you in dinner and drinks to fix up the Hecate House!”
“Remember that time you ditched class and missed that test?” Sam mentioned to me. “My voice just changed, so I was able to imitate a doctor and get the teacher to give you a retake…”
“That was over two decades ago!” I denoted. He remained unwavering, so I relented, “Fine! But, if any more collector’s items come out, you’re on your own!”
Begrudgingly, I joined the gaggle of youngsters congregated by an employee with a large box. He dumped them onto the shelf, and everyone swarmed in. I was able to snatch one, and several juveniles attempted to seize it from me. I held it over my head, and I addressed them, “You probably don’t even know who Carter is!” I began to back away when…
I didn’t see a small girl’s leg, and I lost my balance! For the second time in the last twenty-four hours, I fell down fanny first! I landed in a pile of Burfy’s, and while their fur was soft, they still made a rough landing since their beaks began flapping as they communicated their catchphrases to me! I groaned, “Could this be more humiliating?”
“Penny?” Luke glanced at me in surprise. That was his taxi! I was so ashamed that I hid my face. I didn’t want to explain myself to him out of all people! To my astonishment, he kindly offered, “Need a hand?”
I was thrilled to hold his hand, and when he pulled me up, our eyes met, which led me to believe that we would have a very romantic moment. Unfortunately, Sam interrupted, “You’re here? Oh no! I don’t wanna fight a monster!”
Luke asserted, “What? No! I’m just here to use their restroom!” A thunderous ruckus boomed from the other side of the store, so Luke changed his tune, “Or, maybe I am here to fight a monster!”
New Trouble, Chapter 12
“Excuse me, ma’am! But Picture Galleria policy mandates shoes be worn inside of the store,” the clerk behind the counter politely addressed me.
“Really?” I winced in pain at the thought of putting my heels back on. “You couldn’t make a single exception just this once?”
The clerk pointed to a sign that said, “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service,” and then he kidded, “I’ll make an exception for the first one in your case, though!”
I gave him a particular look for that quip, and Beck briefed the clerk, “I’m here to pick up for Beck Hamilton.” The clerk handed him an envelope full of pictures, and he graciously regarded him, “Thanks, dude!”
“I wish this place had chairs!” I expressed as I grimaced.
“Why did you wear those things anyway?” Beck inquired. “You never really could handle wearing high heels!”
I replied, “I thought I could handle it since I’m sitting most of the day! I would’ve worn my flats, but they fell into the basement of…” I glanced at the clerk, and not wanting to have him ask questions and prolong suffering in that horrible footwear, I finished that sentence with, “You know where!”
Beck queried, “Where?”
“You know!” I prodded him. He shook his head, and after clicking my tongue in annoyance, I quickly racked my brain for an alternative to saying the Hecate House. “My grandma’s old home!”
“Ohhhh! Oh, right!” Beck recalled. “Do you want me to grab them for you?”
I wondered, “You’re not scared to do it?”
Beck shrugged. “You get used to it. Besides, so far, the scariest stuff we’ve dealt with has been everywhere but inside of that place!”
“That’s true!” I acknowledged. “Scully is down there all the time, so maybe I’m overreacting!”
“Your kitty is brave, and you’re a scaredy cat?” Beck joshed me.
I dryly responded, “Ha, ha! Very funny! I can’t even get you back since you’re doing me a favor by giving me a ride back to my apartment! Speaking of which, we can go now, can’t we?”
Beck apprised me, “Not yet! Help me pick out a photo for the surfing contest!”
The prospect of staying longer filled me with dread, but I agreed. As we thumbed through pictures of him in front of a surfing statue, I observed, “These all look the same!”
“Nuh-uh!” Beck disagreed. “See? I’m smiling here, and in that one I’m smiling with my teeth showing! And that one has a weird shadow ‘cause some dude was metal detecting by the water…”
“What about that one?” I picked any old photograph in hopes that we would be able to leave sooner.
Beck bristled at that notion, “As if! Belle moved the camera slightly on that one! She said the snow cone chick had an imbalanced aura, and it was distracting her! She finished taking my picture first ‘cause the time of day was perfect for the lighting, but as soon as we were done, she went up to her and was all like, ‘Whoa!’” I groaned at the long length this story seemed to have, and I was about to interrupt so we could vacate the vicinity sooner, but then I saw a reason for me to stay longer…
Luke walked in! When he beheld my presence there, he jested, “Penny! Wow! Are you stalking me?”
“I was here first, so wouldn’t you be stalking me?” I countered.
“Not unless you heard me tell my mom I gotta go pick up pictures from our field trip to Zeus’s Garden!” Luke shot back.
After folding my arms, I skeptically catechized, “You took photos of a location across the street from the school?”
Luke confirmed, “Yeah! We didn’t go far, but it’s still considered a field trip! The yearbook committee requires documentation for all field trips, even ones so close! I even had to get parents to sign permission slips! So dumb!”
“What do you like better?” Beck gave Luke two options.
“Uh… What’s the difference?” Luke pondered.
Beck relayed to him, “I don’t wanna explain. Penny’s anxious to go home…”
I assured Beck, “No, I’m fine! Go ahead!” I felt a twinge of pain, but I maintained my stance, “No biggie! I swear!”
“Something wrong?” Luke asked me.
“No!” I answered. As if on cue, Ned entered into the building! I couldn’t believe it! It felt like an eternity since I had seen him! He looked different- not literally, he still had the same dark, wavy hair, thinly rimmed glasses, and dewy skin, but… well, if Belle was there, she would have said his aura was off too! I had closed that chapter ages ago, so seeing him again was like rewatching a mediocre dream I had! Okay, it had only been a little over a year since I last saw him, but still! I altered my answer to Luke, “Yes! Hide me!”
Luke was confused until Ned approached us. “Penny? Penny! You know I can see you, right?”
Beck disputed Ned, “No, doofus! The divorce means you can’t start dating again!”
“Yes, you can!” Ned argued. “Couples that split up get back together all the time!”
“She doesn’t wanna see you anymore!” Luke stepped in.
Ned huffed, “Who are you? And what makes you say that?”
Luke indicated to me cowering behind him. “Have you ever seen anyone do this when they were excited to be with someone?”
“Oh, come on! Just give me a chance!” Ned begged.
“I gave you fifteen years of marriage!” I emerged from my retreat in hopes of convincing him to get out of my sight.
Ned pathetically conveyed to me, “Oh, Penny! My love! We’re approaching our sixteenth anniversary, and I got a special present for you…!” He tore off his shirt and revealed his bare chest! ‘Traditionally, you give wax gifts for this one, so I got my chest hair removed since you said it bothered you!”
I rubbed my temples in frustration. “Ned, I only told you that so I had an excuse not to look at you naked!”
“Sir! Read the sign!” The clerk highlighted the same placard he showed me. “We’re gonna have to ask you to leave!”
“Can I at least get my pictures?” Ned snivelled. “The name’s Doctor Caspar…” The clerk threw the envelope to him, and prior to his exit, Ned notified me, “I’ll call you!”
I rejoindered, “I’ll ignore you!” He finally left, and that would’ve been a tremendous relief it weren’t for a shop full of amused individuals gawking at me! Even Luke’s company couldn’t tempt me to ignore that humiliation, so I requested to Beck, “I wanna go home!” I darted toward the door, and I beheld four creatures with the face, head, and arms of a woman but the wings, legs, and tail of a bird screeching and hovering around Ned as he raced to his car with his ears covered! I retracted my previous statement, “No, I don’t!”
Their horrible screeching caused everyone to react in anguish, and one man shouted, “What the hell is that?”
“Well, they’re Harpies, but I don’t imagine that makes you feel any better,” Luke shared with the man as he watched the Harpies clawing at Ned’s vehicle while he sobbed in the driver’s seat.
“Why did you ever marry that douche?” Beck probed.
I muttered, “It’s a long story! And we don’t have time to hear a novel at the moment! We gotta rescue that douche! How do we do it?”
Luke gesticulated in a manner that portrayed his cluelessness on how to act. “I remember reading about them, but I can’t remember how they were defeated! I think they just kept harassing a victim ‘til the gods decided they learned their lesson!”
“Okay! Well, that’s not gonna happen, so… Should we just go out there and throw rocks again?” I posed to Beck and Luke.
“What if we simply out-yelled them?” Beck proposed. We stared at him in startlement, so he went on, “Hear me out! They expect people to be afraid of them, but if we can dominate them, we could, like, throw them off and stuff!”
I contemplated that for a flash. “Out dominate them, huh? Gosh, too bad Sally isn’t here! Alright, let’s give it a try!”
The three of us went into the parking lot, and the four Harpies continued to pursue Ned. We took a deep breath, and then we began cawing loudly. They didn’t seem to notice us, so we heightened our volume. They swiveled their heads towards us, and for a minute, it appeared as though our plan was going to work. Suddenly, they zoomed towards us, and we shielded ourselves with the lid of a trash can as we took cover behind the bin. “I’d give you more ideas if I could concentrate!” Beck remarked.
One of the Harpies flew beneath our makeshift roof and began screeching in our faces! I instinctively took off one of my heels and fended her off, but she grabbed it and chewed it up in an instant! “Oh, no!” I shouted.
“I thought you hated those shoes!” Beck reacted in confusion.
“Yeah, I’m not worried about that!” I fed her my other shoe preceding us vacating that spot.
We barreled back into the Photo Galleria, and the Harpies made an attempt to peck through the windows! The clerk didn’t seem to catch on at first as he brought up, “Listen, my manager would be upset if I let you stay with your bare feet!”
Luke retorted, “I’m pretty sure your manager would get more upset about other things right now!”
“Don’t worry, Penny! I’ll save you!” Ned proclaimed. The Harpies returned to targeting him, and he let out a high-pitched scream prior to hiding in his luxury sedan once more.
“Phew! We have time to come up with a solution!” I watched them chew off his fender, and I altered my opinion, “Ooh! We don’t have a lot of time!” Quite abruptly, one of the Harpies fainted and fell onto the ground! I vociferated, “Ned! How did you do that?”
Ned filled me in, “I dunno! I was too busy wiping the tears from my eyes!”
I puzzled, “What do you mean, you don’t know? How do you not know what you did to defeat a monster?”
“How about a thank you for my help?” Ned bickered.
“Tell me what you did, and then I’ll thank you!” I retaliated.
Ned more lovingly communicated to me, “Isn’t this great? It’s just like old times! See, we belong-!” He let out another high-pitched scream as they began clawing at his windshield.
Luke hypothesized, “I doubt he did anything on purpose! It has to be something about the car!”
“It’s like that Hitchcock movie, but these birds are on steroids!” Beck commented.
“They are kinda like birds!” I observed. “How do we get rid of regular birds?”
Beck put in, “Our cat hunts them down sometimes. Belle hates it- she holds funerals for his victims!”
I canvassed them, “What else?”
“She buries them, too,” Beck added.
“My parents had a pigeon problem once,” Luke conveyed to us. “That’s why they put mirrors near some of their plants.”
A lightbulb went off in my head. “Oh! That’s what it was! That Harpie looked into his side-view mirror!”
Ned had begun defending himself by driving around the parking lot to shake them off, but they were pretty fast and kept catching up to him. As we monitored the situation, Beck aired a concern, “We can’t keep trying to aim the mirrors at those bitchy birds though!”
“We wouldn’t have to aim them directly at them, we’d just have to reflect the sun,” Luke opined.
“Ned! Turn on your brights!” I directed him.
With a frightened visage, Ned objected, “That’ll never work! You’re trying to kill me!” He did as I instructed as the Harpies were racing toward the front of his car, and as soon as his high-beams flickered on, the Harpies froze in fright. To our immense alleviation, all four Harpies now lay on the pavement motionless! Ned changed his tune, “It worked! You saved me!”
Beck placed one of his photos on the counter and petitioned the clerk, “Can you make this into a sixteen-by-twenty and call me when it’s done?” The clerk was too stunned to say anything, so Beck ended the conversation with, “Thanks, dude!”
After we went outside, Ned called out to me, “Hey, Penny!”
“We’re not getting back together!” I affirmed.
“I was just gonna ask what I’m supposed to tell my insurance?” Ned gestured to all of the damage the Harpies did.
Luke, Beck, and I all simultaneously stated, “A bear did it!” Ned gave us a perplexed gaze as we chuckled at that memory preceding our departure. All of this chaos was almost worth it to catch a glimpse of Ned’s baffled expression!
New Trouble, Chapter 11
“Hello?” I called out as I set the fresh bag of kitty kibble down in the Hecate House. The place was pretty dark since Beck could only work on rewiring it during his time off, so I took my flashlight out of my purse. As I made my way to the kitchen, I surveyed the scenery, and I could understand now why my relatives believed it was haunted! I expected something spooky to ambush me at every corner! Of course, that may have had nothing to do with the building itself- anyone would feel jumpy after facing three sets of monsters! I was almost at the kitchen when something caught my eye…
“What’s this?” I spotted an ornate tin box on one of the shelves by the pantry. It wasn’t a totally abnormal sight or the kitchen area, but it said “Hecate” on it. I wondered if it belonged to my great, great-grandmother, so I opened it. I dared to hope it was some clue on how to solve this supernatural dilemma my friends and I found ourselves in, so my pulse quickened as I unlatched the lock… It turned out to be love letters written to her. It was kind of neat to see the fancy handwriting and flowery language, but it was still disappointing not to unearth something more significant…
A loud meow bellowed from behind me, and I nearly dropped the box due to its abruptness! I saw Scully when I turned around, and I griped, “Oh, sure! You don’t come out right away, but you act like it’s my fault you had to wait for your food!” Scully Scully meowed again, and I couldn’t help but laugh as I grabbed a pair of scissors from the kitchen counter and returned to the living room.
I was feeling silly for getting scared like that, but then suddenly, the floor beneath me disappeared! Not completely as I initially assumed- a floorboard fell out! Scully glared at me impatiently, so I muttered, “What? It’s not like I did this on purpose!” While I was picking myself out of the small hole, I felt my shoes fall off! I glimpsed behind me, and I noted, “Damn! They’re in the basement! I suppose I could go get them…” I mulled that over for a moment, and I concluded, “Nope! I’ll just wear my heels to work! Why not? I’m gonna be sore tomorrow anyway!” I rubbed my already aching back, and when I espied Scully’s grumpy face, I barked, “Yeah, I know! You’re hungry!”
It was hard to stay mad at that cute cat as I watched her happily munch on her morsels! I gave her a couple of pats, and then I prepared myself to walk home barefoot. I considered calling for a ride, but it would have been a bit ridiculous to get a lift from a buddy when I lived so close to here. I inwardly joked about getting a cab so Luke could come get me, but all of a sudden, it seemed like a brilliant idea! I reckoned I could spend a few minutes alone with him, and perhaps we could go longer if I mentioned that I hadn’t eaten yet! I couldn’t get to the phone fast enough! I left the business card Luke gave me by my telephone, so I grabbed the phone book from the stand beneath Grandma Lydia’s outdated device, and once I got the dispatcher on the line, I requested, “Hi! Can you send a taxi to the Hecate House?”
When the yellow cab finally pulled up, my heart pumped with excitement! I gave my reflection a fast check in the antique mirror by the door, and I practically skipped down those porch steps! I couldn’t wait to see his smile when he noticed my unshod feet, and hearing his laugh would make this somewhat vexing evening worth enduring! I opened the passenger side door, and…
“Where to, doll?” An older woman put her cigarette out upon my arrival.
“Oh! Um…” It threw me off to see someone completely different than who I was expecting. As I sat down, I grew quite despondent that my plan fizzled so dramatically like that, and I upbraided myself for not remembering that the taxi company had more than one driver. The lady glanced at me with a growing intolerance for waiting, so I spouted, “Artemis Arms!” Her expression became befuddled, and I couldn’t blame her for getting confused- I would be too if I had to drive someone who could’ve been home by now if they had walked!
When I got to my apartment, I kicked my feet as if I still had my flats on out of habit. When I realized what I had done, I felt even dumber than I already did. I set my purse down frustratedly, and I observed that I had a ton of messages on the answering machine. Guessing who they were from, I used speed dial to make a call, and I grumpily greeted her, “Hello, Mom!”
My mom breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh, good! You’re still alive! I almost called the cops again!”
“I’m surprised you didn’t!” I commented.
“They asked me not to do that again,” my mom bitterly admitted. “Well, I can’t help it! It’s a mother’s instinct to worry, and you’re not in the safest neighborhood…”
I questioned her logic, “What are you talking about? You grew up a few blocks from where I’m at!”
My mom groaned, “Don’t remind me! I don’t wanna relive the trauma of being raised in a cursed household!”
“What do you mean, cursed?” I instantly got quite interested in this conversation- did she know something relevant and never shared it with me? “I’ve been in there dozens of times, and I turned out… Well, maybe that was a bad example! But, how is it cursed?”
“I’m not sure. After Great Grandma Hecate blew her entire inheritance on building that hovel, we haven’t had a lot of luck! At least not until we married into a family more fortunate than us! There was always a strange aura to that place! It was like someone was watching us…” my mom recalled. “But, that ends with us! After Doug finally gives up on trying to find an heir to that dreadful dwelling, someone is bound to tear it down and bring an end to this madness! Or, at least it will be out of our family’s name!” I’m not certain how my mom could sense my guilty expression, but she swiftly accosted me, “Why are you so fascinated by the Hecate House?”
As nonchalantly as I could, I told her, “Well, you can’t tell me Grandma Lydia’s property was cursed and expect me not to ask about it!”
I got the impression that she didn’t totally believe me, and I crossed my fingers that she wouldn’t press me any further on the issue because it was almost impossible to lie to her. Even when I was a kid, I could never tell a falsehood, not even something as small as faking an illness to get out of school! She was a hawk when it came to sniffing out deceit! If she had any sort of career ambitions, she would’ve made a fantastic criminal investigator! I nervously stayed on the line, and thankfully, I was able to get alleviation when she stated, “Yeah, that’s true! So, why were you home so late today? Did you do overtime at your new job?”
“Overtime? I’m surprised he needs a secretary at all! Half the time, I’m reading magazines or thumbing through the…” I didn’t want to tell her I was scouring the classifieds for a more interesting employer, so I had to fib a little, “…Photo albums!”
“Photo albums?” my mom echoed in a quizzical manner.
I cringed at how weird that sounded, and I concocted a more believable story, “Yeah! It’s full of Mister Macquire’s projects. He’s a terrible human being, but he’s a wonderful architect!”
My mom responded, “That’s great! So, why weren’t you home to return my calls? Did you have a date?”
“I wish!” I honestly articulated. “I just had to go to the store and get some cat food.”
“You got a cat?” my mom probed.
I confirmed, “Yup! She came with the… She followed me home.”
My mom challenged me, “Oh, why didn’t you get a dog? A big one that could help you defend yourself against bad guys?”
“Oh, Mom! I don’t need anything like that! It’s perfectly safe here!” I saw a crystal form above my head, and I grimaced. “Uh-oh!”
“Uh-oh? What’s uh-oh? What’s going on?” my mom interrogated me.
I didn’t have a second to spare in manufacturing an excuse for her, so I simply ended our chat, “I’ll explain later! I-!” They crystal sucked me into the abyss prior to me even getting a chance to hang up!
When I landed in the caves of Halukos Spilaio, I beheld Sam in that flower-filled shirt he got at the mall, Beck in his boxers, and Sally in a Victorian-style dress. I opined, “Wow! Aren’t we an odd bunch?”
“This had better be good! I was supposed to speak at an Edgar Alllen Poe event!” Sally crossed her arms and pouted.
“How terribly inconvenient!” Halorykta maliciously guffawed from her throne as she fed her crow grapes. “I’m so sorry for the massive disruption my monsters have had on your lives!”
Beck loudly whispered to us, “You know what, guys? I think Halorykta is lying to us about feeling remorse!”
Halorykta rolled her eyes, and then she sneered, “I did warn you that I would make your lives stressful if you didn’t cooperate with me, didn’t I? Was I lying there?”
“So, you inflicted severe disturbances from high-pressure situations onto us several times, and you expect us to show a willingness to assist you with your diabolical desires?” Sam put his hands on his hips and stared at her expectantly.
“Um, yeah! I’m a goddess- I always get my way!” Halorykta grinned at us confidently until she ran out of grapes. The crow squawked impatiently, so she informed him, “I don’t have any more!” The crow kept squawking, so she irritatedly assured him, “I’ll get more later!” It continued to squawk, so she yelled, “Shut up!”
I needled Halorykta, “So, not always, huh?”
Halorykta gritted her teeth, and then she bellowed, “Petroruxei’o!”
A tall, beefy dude with a strong jawline, a black beard that flowed nicely into his wavy, jet-black hair, and golden-brown eyes that seemed to glisten in the proper lighting obsequiously approached her, “Yes, my queen?”
“Bring me some more grapes?” Halorykta ordered.
“Anon! I shall return shortly!” Petroruxei’o obliged.
Halorykta turned her attention back to us. “So, as I was saying… I always get what I want one way or another, and…” She grew distracted by the crow’s persistent chatter, and she let out an exasperated exhale.
Beck recommended, “Maybe you should just wait to threaten us ‘til your servant comes back.”
“He’s not my servant, he’s my husband!” Halorykta corrected him. “Petroruxei’o’ is the God of Rocks and Ore!”
“Here are your grapes, my lady!” Petroruxei’o bowed as he handed the fruit to his wife.
Halorykta snatched it from him and snapped, “Thank you! Now, away with you!”
Sam, Beck, and I watched their interaction with perplexity, but Sally amusedly relayed to Halorykta, “Nice! I didn’t know that there was a dominant/submissive culture in the afterlife! How come there weren’t any poems with a little-?”
“I DID NOT INVITE YOU HERE FOR A SOCIAL CALL!” Halorykta shrieked.
“Why did you bring us here?” I quizzed her. “Is this just part of your scheme to annoy us?”
Halorykta denied that accusation, “I did not summon you for the sole intent of raising your temper- that’s merely an added benefit! I had to check in with you and learn just how much your current fate is bothering you…”
Beck put in, “Well, it’s not our favorite thing in the world…”
“Of course not! But, do keep in mind that you can end this turmoil at any time! All you have to do is give me the key!” Halorykta vehemently expressed.
“Your proposal is riddled with absurdity!” Sam asserted. “You really believe we would opt to engage with your endeavor when it means extinguishing our race’s existence? Still? We’ve made our stance on this pretty evident!”
Halorykta wondered, “Still? Do you all enjoy pain and injury?”
Sally spat, “That’s none of your business!” She contemplated that for a second, and then she realized, “Oh, you meant… We don’t wanna betray our fellow humans by helping you destroy them!”
“Your world will cease to exist no matter what you do, so it’s up to you on how you want it to go down! You can make it quick and painless or drag it out to the bitter conclusion!” Halorykta grimly conveyed to us.
“I’ll take a drag!” Beck expressed with enthusiasm.
Sam staunchly regarded her, “By that, he means we’d like to go home and carry on with our night! I really need to fold my laundry before it wrinkles!”
Halorykta alerted us, “Okay, but if you return to your land, remember that I will stoke even more peril and anguish into your lives!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah! We’ll deal with that later! Now, either send us back, or tell your husband he has to feed us too!” I demanded.
“What can I get you?” Petroruxei’o popped out from a cavernous room adjacent to this one. Halorykta glowered at him, so he slinked away.
When I arrived back in my living room, my mom was still on the phone. “Penelope? Where did you go? I’m getting worried! Maybe if I have your father call the police for me, they won’t get so mad…”
I grabbed some leftover Chinese takeout boxes from the refrigerator, and then I held the receiver and fibbed, “Sorry! The delivery guy went to the wrong address! What were you saying?” As she babbled about my recklessness for leaving with the door unlocked, I vaguely speculated about how much longer I would have to use my improv skills to hide my paranormal pastime!
New Trouble, Chapter 10
One of the people who ran inside exclaimed, “Whew! A strong storm suddenly picked up!”
I breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh, good! It’s nothing weird!”
“And the wind was laughing at us!” another person raved.
“Ah! There it is!” I exhaled in exasperation.
Luke consoled me, “Don’t jump to conclusions! Maybe they’re just… misinterpreting the situation!”
A lady in the small crowd accosted him, “You think we’re crazy, don’t you?”
“No, no, no!” Luke reassured her. “I was just hoping you were!”
“If you don’t believe us, why don’t you go outside and see it for yourself!” The lady gestured to the rainy and blustery exterior.
Luke acquiesced, “Fine! Chances were we would’ve had to do that eventually anyway!”
Sally emerged from the restroom, and when she saw us gingerly approaching the front door, she inquired, “What are you guys doing?”
“Take a wild guess!” I replied.
“Man! I was hoping it was anything but that!” Sally’s visage soured as she peered out of the window, and when she saw the intense gale pushing the rain around, she muttered, “I suppose there’s no point in bringing my umbrella!”
We took a deep breath, and we stepped out onto the street. At first, the only strange sight we found was three adults getting soaked as they glimpsed at the clouds. Whatever spooked that congregation in Andreia’s had to have been out there somewhere, so I called out to them, “What? We’re not funny enough to get a laugh?”
A raspy male’s voice reacted in aghast, “Look at the rashness of this one! Not even a hello! So rude!”
“Who are we saying hello to?” Luke canvassed the general air around us.
“Brace yourself!” A gravelly female responded. “For you are in the presence of majesty! We are the Aericas!”
Sally probed, “You’re all named Aerica? Doesn’t that get kinda confusing?”
A grating male’s voice huffed indignantly, “No, you peasant! We are beings who can control the wind!”
“Why are you invisible?” Luke asked them. “If I thought I was majestic, I’d show that off to the whole world!”
“We’re not invisible!” a scratchy-sounding female spat. “You just can’t see us! You don’t deserve to!”
Luke feigned remorse, “Oh, darn! You sure taught us a lesson! You can stop doing… whatever it is you plan to do!”
A gruff male laughed derisively at him, “Nice try, you boor! We’re not here to teach you a lesson!”
“Why are you here?” I retorted. “Just to annoy us?”
“No, but that’s certainly fun!” a croaky female articulated. “We’re here to take over your land!”
I pushed back against that premise, “You’re not gonna take over anything! We came out to halt your scheme!”
The raspy Aerica challenged me, “Oh, yeah? How are you gonna do that?”
“Well, we…!” I racked my brain on how we would be able to accomplish that feat. It seemed impossible since we couldn’t even view them, but I wasn’t about to show them any doubt or fear, so I avowed, “We’ll find a way!”
“Well, shall we rid ourselves of these pesky mortals?” the gravelly Aerica queried while her colleagues snickered.
Sally spoke up, “We’d rather you didn’t!”
The grating Aerica snapped, “We weren’t talking to you, you imbecile!” The wind suddenly got stronger, and the grating Aerica taunted us, “Not so tough now, are you?”
Luke emphatically stated, “This is nothing!” His drink slipped out of his hand, and he cried out, “Oh, no! I needed that!”
We watched it fly away, but within seconds, it hit something solid in the atmosphere above us! The shape of a round ball with extra-long legs and arms formed, and its goblin face became positively alarmed at being spotted. “You’re the royalty we’re supposed to be intimidated by? You look like fungus that learned to speak!” Sally chortled.
The scratchy Aerica leered, “Go ahead and hide your pain with humor! Your words do not have the power to sway us!”
“You’re the ones that are hiding!” I argued. “You must know we could take you down if we saw you! Oh, that’s how we’ll defeat you!” I grabbed a handful of dirt from the planter outside of the Tea Room and tossed it above me, and when one of them became visible, I threw a rock at its squatty little body.
“Ew! They touched me!” the gruff Aerica pretentiously whined. “Change places!”
The wind briefly stopped as they travelled. We weren’t certain which direction they went until the tempest resumed. We pushed against the stream as we walked toward a wine store next door. We could only move an inch at a time, and it was becoming very frustrating. “Ugh! This can’t get any worse!” Luke groaned. Immediately following that statement, a bag of garbage flew into his face. After he removed it, he grumbled, “I should’ve known better than to say that! I’m a history teacher, and I’ve never heard that line ever working out for anyone!”
I curiously quizzed him, “Oh, you teach history?”
“No offense, guys, but is this really the best time for small talk?” Sally pressed us.
“Hey! It’s not like we’re doing anything else at the moment!” I bickered as I noted how we still hadn’t reached the wine store. “Besides, I was gonna ask if he knows anything about the Aericas!”
Luke jogged his memory, “Hmm… I think they appeared in some Ancient Greek legends, but I don’t remember them being as important as they’re making themselves out to be!”
From just a little bit ahead of us, the croaky Aerica reacted to that assertion with exception, “Excuse me? Your literature doesn’t go over our noble lineage?”
I grabbed the wine shop’s sandwich board and began hitting the space above us. The Aericas were guffawing until I managed to clock one of them. The raspy Aerica roared, “Oh, bother! That’s gonna leave a mark!”
“Who cares?” Sally riposted. “No one can see you anyway!”
“Um, we can see each other, obviously! What a dolt!” the gravelly Aerica haughtily relayed to us.
We could hear them emit a myriad of “hmpfs!” from above our heads, so we got a clue where they were headed. The gusts didn’t restart, so we proceeded with caution. We passed by a candy shop with Halloween decorations by its entrance, and Sally yanked the leg off of a plastic skeleton. She then justified herself, “For a weapon!”
Luke kidded, “Oh, I thought you just had a bone to pick with these monsters!”
“Oh, god! He likes dad jokes!” Sally cringed. She saw me giggling, and she probed, “Why are you encouraging this?”
“I thought it was funny!” I shrugged. Truthfully, I also thought it was cheesy, but it was so cute coming from his mouth that I couldn’t resist reacting in mirth.
Luke apprised us, “It’s a force of habit! I work with ninth graders, so there’s only so many types of jokes I can tell them!”
It was so adorable to me that he would try to connect with his students in this manner that I began to admire him even more! “I’ll bet your students love it!”
“Not really!” Luke admitted. “But, if they’re rolling their eyes, at least I know they’re paying attention!”
“Um, hello? Did you forget about us?” the grating Aerica shouted from the beach at the end of the block. “You can’t be having fun when you’re meeting your doom!”
I shot back, “Oh, sorry! We didn’t realize we had to follow rules as you try to destroy us!” We each grabbed some decor to use against the monsters and dashed toward their location.
As soon as our feet reached the shore, we used the sand to identify them. When we unearthed one, we bashed them with our kooky armaments, but then they shuffled around. We kept repeating the process, but it soon became apparent that we weren’t getting far deploying this method. After a lengthy stretch of utilizing this technique, we had to pause and catch our breath, which prompted them to cackle at us. The scratchy Aerica verbalized, “Oh, look at those poor saps! They’re… winded!”
“Fantastic! They’re doing it now, too!” Sally breathily complained.
“Having fun yet?” the gruff Aerica asked.
Luke barked, “You damn well know the answer to that!”
The gruff Aerica expressed, “We actually don’t care about your opinion, so I’m not sure why I bothered to say that!”
“Shall we carry on with our mission then?” the croaky Aerica recommended. “Before they regain their stamina, yes?”
“Don’t get too comfortable! We’re right behind you!” I yelled as I was still hunched over.
Luke petitioned us, “So, what’s Plan B?”
Sally rejoindered, “You think any of this was planned?”
“Let’s go find them!” I directed the other two. “Sooner or later, they’re bound to make a mistake, and we’ll get them!” Sally and Luke appeared doubtful about our odds of success, but they didn’t communicate their misgivings out loud as we trudged back down the boulevard.
“Okay, I give up!” I declared when we arrived back at Andreia’s Tea Room. Luke and Sally gazed at me in bewilderment, so I clarified, “I meant on walking all over the place trying to find them! We gotta find some other way of drawing them out!”
Sally propositioned, “Well, they’re pretty full of themselves, so maybe we can try insulting them! It shouldn’t be hard to come up with material since they’re such ugly, obnoxious freaks!”
The raspy Aerica bristled at our slur, “How utterly tasteless and tactless of you! You three have absolutely no manners!”
“Shall we educate them on how to obtain this skill?” the gravelly Aerica sneered.
“Ugh! You monsters really blow!” My face lit up with recognition of my accidental humor when I heard my own words. “Oh! I didn’t even do that on purpose!” Luke tittered, and Sally grinned slightly as she rolled her eyes.
We braced ourselves for more gales getting thrust in our direction, but instead, a whirlpool formed in the middle of the road! We grabbed onto the streetlight to avoid getting ensnared in their trap, and, preceding any of us wondering what to do next, a young man poked his head out of the arcade across from us and hollered, “Mister Perez, is that you?”
Luke politely addressed the young man, “I can’t talk now!”
“Did I pass my test on Mesopotamia?” the young man wondered.
“Seriously? I have over 150 students- I don’t have each of your grades memorized! And…!” Luke mulled that over for a moment, and then he posed to the young man, “Wait! Are you Harvey?” The young man nodded, so Luke informed him, “You’re three assignments behind!”
Harvey reasoned, “That’s why I wanted to know about the test! I was hoping I could balance things out!”
Sally urged Luke, “Give him extra credit if he can figure out how to get rid of the Aericas!”
“Let’s help them, Mom!” Harvey beseeched his mother.
“Uh…” Harvey’s mother eyeballed our situation with apprehension, and she decreed, “We’ll pray for them!”
I mumbled, “Great! That’ll solve everything!”
As Harvey and his mother pressed their palms together and closed their eyelids, we had low expectations of anything other than supportive sentences getting manifested. To our astonishment, the Aericas materialized and began writhing in pain! “No! Please don’t!” the grating Aerica begged us.
“Really? Wow! Great! That’ll solve everything!” I rejoiced.
“Why? What did we ever do to you?” the scratchy Aerica bellowed.
Sally commanded, “Don’t answer that! Keep praying!”
The three of us joined them to the best of our abilities as we maintained our tight grips, and the Aericas fell to the ground and twitched in agony. “Alright! We’ve learned our lesson! You can quit now!” the gruff Aerica tried to dissuade us.
Harvey glanced up, but we shook our heads, so he returned to his prayers. We did this for another minute or so, and then the croaky Aerica asserted, “At least we’ll die with dignity!” Some fertilizer blew toward them and landed in their mouths shortly before they became motionless.
“Yay! I did it! Can I get that extra credit now?” Harvey broached Luke.
“Uh, yeah! Sure!” Luke relented as he recovered from that tumult.
Sally and I stood in front of Andreia’s soaking wet, and one of the patrons buzzed, “What the hell was that?”
We didn’t know what to say initially, but then Sally conveyed to them, “Who cares? It’s over now! Can you hand us our purses?”
After a couple of people retrieved our belongings, Luke offered us, “You two want a ride home?”
As we followed him to his cab, I curiously grilled him, “So… Was that still better than a shift with you taxi?”
Luke weighed the issue for a flash, and then he determined, “A little, yeah! If you see any more monsters, feel free to give me a call!”
He handed me his card, and I smiled knowing that this evening wasn’t a total loss after all!
New Trouble, Chapter 9
“Penelope! What do you think you’re doing?” Mister Macquire roared as he stomped out of his office.
I set down my magazine and apologized, “I’m sorry! The mail doesn’t come for a couple of hours, and I haven’t gotten a call in over an hour! I thought you said I was allowed to bring something to do! Is the magazine a problem? I know some of the articles can be raunchy, but-!”
Mister Macquire spat, “I don’t care about the magazine!”
“Oh! Then… What’s the problem?” I pondered.
“You seriously don’t know?” Mister Macquire huffed. I shook my head to convey my genuine cluelessness about the source of his ire, and he emitted a noise of annoyance. “You told Missus Carey that I would call her back later!”
I continued to gaze at him in perplexity. “And, that’s bad?”
Mister Macquire raved, “Missus Carey is the backer of my biggest project to date! She doesn’t have a whole lot of free time, so when she contacts me, I have to answer! I specifically said to notify me when urgent calls come in!”
“No, you specifically said not to bother you when I came in to tell you about it, and you also said you didn’t care what it was that I needed,” I politely disagreed.
“Well, yeah! I was trying to concentrate!” Mister Macquire grumbled.
I pointed out, “Well, I can’t interrupt you if I’m not allowed to interrupt you!”
He opened his mouth to argue with that logic, but he couldn’t, so he muttered, “God, why did Dee Dee decide to have her baby in the middle of a big project?”
“That’s not really something you get to decide!” I reacted in astonishment.
“What was that?” Mister Macquire snapped.
I hastily fibbed, “Oh, I was just taking this quiz about which classic Halloween candy represents your love style! It says I’m… candy corn! That can’t be right…” He rolled his eyes and marched back to his office, and I rubbed my temples in frustration. While I got some comfort from the description of my results (familiar but smooth and sweet), I was less than thrilled with my working conditions. I couldn’t believe this was how my mother wanted me to live my life! Despite her qualms about it, I intended to pick up as many resumes as I could on the way home!
Bells chimed as I entered into Goldi Locks Salon, and as Kitty crimped her customer’s hair, she pleasantly chirped, “Ah, Penny! Ready for another trim already?”
“No, no! I was just wondering if you happened to have any openings for a receptionist or something.” I wasn’t positive this would be a yes, but I had to give it a try!
“Aw, mija! If I did, I would’ve already recruited you!” Kitty sympathetically relayed to me. “I’ll gladly give you a reference if you need one, though! Here, let me give you my card!” She set down her tools and headed to the register, where her business cards were. As she handed one to me, she devilishly grinned as she revealed, “Hey! Guess what! I think my son met a girl!”
I responded with interest, “Oh, really?”
She confirmed, “Yes! He came to my house for lunch on Saturday, and he had a sparkle in his eye! He just looked lighter! I meant like a glow, although he does need to eat more!”
“That’s wonderful! I’m happy for him!” I entertained the notion that Luke had that same glow when he visited his folks after he met me, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up about him, but I couldn’t resist enjoying the fantasy of it! I thought I sensed some chemistry between us, but I began to wonder if it was all in my imagination. Things had been so stressful lately that I suspected I manufactured these vibes to give my mind a source of refuge that it so desperately needed, I couldn’t imagine him actually wanting to get involved with the chaos that comprised my life! Although, he did volunteer to deal with that monster yesterday…
“You met someone too!” Kitty’s face lit up with recognition.
I tried to deny it, “No! I…!” She gave me a discerning look, so I admitted, “Okay! I saw a guy I liked when my friends and I… were out! But I didn’t get his number or anything!”
As Kitty went back to her customer, she advised me, “Get his number! Opportunities don’t knock very often, so when they do, you’d better answer!”
Smiling at the premise, I promised her, “I will! Thanks, Kitty!” As I left, I frowned slightly as I contemplated how on Earth I could get his phone number without seeming too obvious…
The next day, I met Sally at Andreia’s Tea Room. It was rainy outside, so it was quite cozy in the homelike environment. Sally and I sat at a doily-covered table near the window, and she started our evening with a story, “…So then, after he almost hit me by running a red light, he had the nerve to yell at me for the near accident!”
“Oh my gosh! How stressful!” I gasped. “So, what did you do?”
“You name it!” Sally gave me a wry smile as she savored the memory.
I furrowed my brows in confusion. “What? Why would you sleep with a guy who was such a jerk to you?”
Sally dismissed that characterization, “Well, he had a point! I mean, I had the right of way, but I should’ve been looking out for shitty drivers like him! I was too busy feeling the pain of riding a bike after being on my feet all day at work! I shouldn’t have bought that bike! I thought it’d save money and time I’d normally spend on the bus, but it’s not worth it!”
“If you hardly used it, you can probably still return it!” I suggested.
“Oh, no! We used it last night!” Sally giggled.
I took a second to try and imagine the logistics of how that would play out, and I couldn’t quite decipher anything, so I decided to set that aside and asked her, “So, did you spend the night there since you already had your uniform with you?”
Sally answered, “Nah! I didn’t wanna show up to Andreia’s still in that same outfit! He offered me a ride home, but I saw the way he drives, so I called Beck, and he took me home. He was happy to have an excuse to get out of his chore list!”
“I’ll be Belle made him stay up late and finish it though!” I hypothesized. Sally and I laughed, and after I took a sip of my drink, I inquired, “So, are you gonna see this dude again?”
“Probably not. Last night was fun, but I can’t really see myself going long-term with him,” Sally assessed.
I challenged her, “Can you see yourself going long-term with anybody?”
Sally shrugged. “Anyone I know? Not likely. I haven’t met anyone who was interesting enough to keep my attention yet. I was seeing Bruce for a while, but he wound up having a midlife crisis and started chasing around twenty-year-old blondes, so…”
“I remember him! Wasn’t he in that awful punk rock band?” I recalled.
“Hey! They weren’t that bad!” Sally thought about it briefly, and then she reconsidered that concept. “Okay, yeah, they were!” We both chortled, and then she queried, “What about you?”
I articulated, “No! I was never in a band!”
Sally corrected me, “Duh! I was talking about men! Do you think you’ll ever get married again?”
Her question made me instantly bring Luke to the forefront of my thoughts. Truthfully, I pictured all sorts of scenarios involving me and me! Of course, I envisioned the two of us taking our vows, but I felt too embarrassed to admit that! He was an extension of our supernatural misadventures, and dating him could make that more complicated and ridiculous than it already was. He seemed like he was everything I dreamed of in terms of romance, but I hardly knew him, so it was probably a silly idea. He had his life so well put together, and mine was such a mess, so what kind of pairing would that be? As much as I adored him, I didn’t want to get too attached because I didn’t believe it was ever going to happen between us!
“Someday, sure!” I avoided eye contact with her because I was pretty sure I was blushing!
“Oh my gosh! It’s Luke!” Sally exclaimed.
I refuted that allegation, “What? No! What makes you say-?”
Sally doled out a stern look for my denial, but she interrupted me as she indicated to someone behind us. “No, it’s Luke!”
“Penny! Sally! Wow, what a small world!” Luke went from the queue to our spot, and in a low voice, he kidded, “I almost didn’t recognize you without a monster in the vicinity!”
“Don’t jinx it!” I playfully warned him.
Luke grinned. “Actually, I wouldn’t mind a delay in my taxi shift! I hate it! I mean, I need the money, but it’s nice to get a break from that crap!”
I questioned him, “So, you’d rather fight monsters than go to your second job?”
“Much rather!” Luke avidly certified this. “Customer service is the worst!”
“Truth!” Sally concurred.
Luke bemoaned, “Man, there are so many individuals who are just rude, ignorant, or both! Once, I took some ladies to Monterey, and then they fell asleep before I could get their address! I tried to wake them, and they almost pepper-sprayed me! I’ve had several passengers try to get out of paying, and I’ve had to clean that car more than my apartment! One a-hole tried to punch me ‘cause I wouldn’t take him the route he wanted to go, which was through a football field! It’s more stressful than anything I’ve ever dealt with in the classroom, and that includes when that energy drink promoter handed out free samples and got them all hyper!” He looked at me and assured me, “Don’t get me wrong- I’ve met some nice people too, but…”
I smiled at him in an understanding fashion. “I get it!”
“Awesome!” He smiled back at me, and I hoped it wasn’t too obvious that my cheeks were getting redder!
“Would you like to join us, Luke?” Sally invited him.
Luke accepted, “Sure! I can chat for a bit! Let me go get my coffee first- I couldn’t get through the rest of my evening without caffeine!”
After he got back in line, Sally notified me, “I didn’t see a wedding ring…”
“Oh, no!” My face fell at this development. I couldn’t blame Sally for being attracted to him, but if she wanted to pursue him, I knew I wouldn’t stand a chance! Sally could tempt almost any male she set her sights on, and I couldn’t have competed with her prowess! I mean, she was probably Red Hots, and I was just candy corn! It would’ve been too awkward to date someone she seduced, so if she wanted to be with him, I would have lost my shot to be with him! I attempted to dissuade her, “You wouldn’t like him! He’s not your type! He’s too straight-laced and bubblegum! He probably wouldn’t be that good in bed! I mean, not by your standards! I’m sure he’s amazing! Well, I’m not that sure, but…”
“Chillax, girl! I wasn’t gonna go after him!” Sally assured me.
This caught me by surprise. “Really? Why not? He’s really handsome! That is to say, I’m sure a lot of people find him attractive! Not that I was checking him out or anything…”
Sally smirked at my stammering, and then she expounded on the subject, “I’m not about to consort with any guy who has his heart set on someone else!”
“You think he has a girlfriend?” I guessed with heavy disappointment in my voice. “I mean, he can have a serious relationship! Who am I to stop him from that? But, do you think he does?”
“No! Why are you…?” She saw that he was nearly done putting cream and sugar in his mug, so she decreed, “This isn’t over! We need to get to the bottom of your messed-up jumble of feelings here!”
I couldn’t deny the accuracy of that description, so I quipped, “What, are you a mind reader or something?”
Sally joked, “Yes! But don’t worry- I’ll only use my powers for good!” When Luke rejoined us, Sally stood up and recommended, “Why don’t you sit here? I gotta go to the little girls’ room!” She winked at me, and I realized what she was trying to do. I got really flustered, and I worried that I was such a wreck that I was bound to say or do the wrong thing in this encounter. Did she realize she was setting me up for failure?
“So, you’re an actor?” Luke conversed.
“Yeah! I’ve done theatre since I was a kid!” As I talked, Luke listened with interest, and my nerves began to melt. Maybe this wouldn’t go so badly after all… “I’ve been an extra in a few-!”
A flurry of screams erupted from the sidewalk outside, and as denizens hurried inside of the café, I altered my stance on how this night would end up…
New Trouble, Chapter 8
“Please be normal! Please be normal! Please be normal!” Beck crossed his fingers and prayed as we rushed to the source of the ruckus. When we turned the corner and beheld a gray creature with the body of a lion, wings of a bat, and a spikey tail, he groaned, “Damn!”
“I’m sorry, are people laughing?” Sam incredulously wondered as the creature’s human-like head snapped at the onlookers with three rows of sharp teeth.
Sally stated, “They don’t think it’s real. Why would they? It looks like a beast that got created with the garbage parts of rejected monsters!”
I canvassed the crew, “So… How do we defeat it?”
Everyone stood there in silence. I wanted to act fast because it was getting awfully close to chomping on people, but I had no clue how to get rid of it! Our lack of knowledge on the skills required to accomplish this feat made me question why the universe tasked us with this dilemma in the first place! To my astonishment, Luke propositioned, “What if we tried talking to it? I mean, it’s a long shot, but it’s a start, right?”
“Go ahead!” Beck threw his hands up like he wanted to stay out of this.
“You do realize you’re volunteering to help us, don’t you?” I probed. “We got forced into it, but you’re choosing to do this- you could easily walk away from this business and never look back!”
Luke asserted, “No, I can’t!” As he lumbered up to the monster, I couldn’t resist sighing. Handsome and brave, could he have been more dreamy?
The monster grabbed a toddler by the back of their shirt, and the young mother snatched him back and giggled, “Not my baby! He’s too young to understand this sort of thing! Oh, no! Now he’s crying!”
As the mother consoled her infant, the monster poised itself to strike them both. Luke maintained his distance from it, but he was close enough to communicate with it. He cleared his throat, and then he addressed it, “Excuse me! Mister Scary Beast?” The monster glanced back at him in curiosity, and Luke went on, “My friends and I would formally like to request that you leave at once without eating any of our neighbors! We-!”
The monster’s eyes went wide, and it flew off to the second story somewhere! “Man! Why didn’t I hit the gym more?” Sally grumbled. She mulled it over for a moment, and then she recalled,” Oh, right! Too many distractions! But, I did get a lot of physical activity done…”
“Come on!” I grabbed her wrist and jerked her out of her reverie as we chased after the monster.
“We need a weapon of some sort!” Sam articulated as we rode up the escalator.
Sally riposted, “Where do we get that? It’s not like Montgomery Ward has an aisle for those things!”
Beck rued, “That’s a drag! We could’ve bought something on clearance!”
“Anything could get used as a weapon if you use it a certain way!” I remarked.
“Hmm… I’ve got this shirt!” Sam pulled out a flowery, sixties-style top from his shopping bag.
The others seemed skeptical about its usefulness, but I confidently assessed, “That could easily get used for strangulation!” I smirked at my small victory, and when I spotted the monster by the food court, I gulped, “Okay, maybe not that easily!”
Luke broadcasted his idea, “We could distract it, and when its eyes are elsewhere, Penny can choke him. Okay?”
“No! It’s not okay! It’s an absolutely terrifying prospect!” Sam fretted.
“Well, what choice do we have?” I shot back.
A lightbulb went off in Sally’s mind. “Maybe there is a simpler solution!”
She ran over to a fast-food stand and hopped behind the counter. The worker confronted her, “Um, customers aren’t allowed back here!” She gave him a reproving look, and he relented, “Oh, it’s you, Sally! Go ahead! I do owe you a favor!”
“It was for his poetry reading!” Sally clarified for us as she hopped back over with a hamburger. She got the monster’s attention as she waved the burger in the air, and she invited it, “Yo, beastie! I got some food for you! No need to eat anyone…” The monster peered at her with interest, and for a flash, it seemed like her plan was going to work, but then the monster flew downstairs again. Sally justified herself, “Well, it’s still flesh! That should’ve satisfied its appetite!”
“Wow! Those guys are great actors!” a bystander commented. “They actually looked stressed about this monster!”
I refuted their assertion, “We’re not actors! Well, I am, but I’m not performing at the moment…”
Luke put his arm around my shoulders and guided me out of the vicinity. “Come on!” I got rather excited by this move until he added, “We’ve got a people-eater to deal with!” Reality came crashing down on me in an instant, and I sourly marched toward our adversary.
We found the monster on top of a carousel. It was reaching down to grab after the children on the ride, and the children played Peek-a-Boo with it as if this whole predicament was a game. “This is great!” Sam expressed. We gazed at him like he was insane, so he elaborated, “We can grab its arms and constrain it, and while it’s immobile, we can deal a lethal blow to it!”
“That sounds easy! We’ve totally got this!’ Beck ogled the monster, and then he less enthusiastically verbalized, “You guys go first!”
“Tickets, please!” the ride attendant requested.
I pointed out, “There’s a dangerous creature on there!”
The ride attendant remained undeterred. “Yeah, he didn’t pay for a ticket either! I’ve already reported him to security!”
“What makes you think it’ a he?” Sally challenged him.
“Never mind that! Our kids are on there, and we’re taking them home!” Luke fibbed. The ride attendant emitted an exasperated exhale and permitted our entrance.
We crept onto the carousel near where its tail rested, and I handed Sam the shirt and instructed, “Alright, you’ll have to be the one to choke it!”
Sam’s face fell tremendously upon hearing that. “Why me?” He contemplated it briefly, and then he answered his own question, “Oh, right! We have to weigh it down! Ugh, the one time I wish I had big muscles!”
“This is the only time you’ve wanted big muscles?” Luke peered at him in surprise. “What about when-?”
“Focus!” I prodded them.
Sally and Beck went around to the other side, and as soon as we saw them again, we readied ourselves to accomplish this deed. Its talons seemed pretty sharp, and I was starting to become petrified. I couldn’t falter, though- if I did, the entire operation would fail! My body didn’t want to move, though, so I knew if I didn’t force myself to do it, I would have lost my nerve completely! It was now or never! I nodded to the others, and we barreled toward its limbs…
The monster flung us off of it! Luke and I landed in a kiosk selling pagers, and a mall patron came up to us as we were absorbing the pain of this impact and asked, “Do you two work here? I need the-!”
“Beck!” Sam called out. We were horrified to see Beck dangling from its claws! As it lowered Beck towards its mouth, Sam cried, “Don’t get eaten!”
“Yeah, that’d be a bummer!” Beck unlatched his watch, which was stuck to the monster, and he managed to free himself! He appealed to us, “If Belle asks, I lost her present while I was high! It’s not even a lie!”
Sally pondered, “‘Cause you were at a lofty height, or…?”
The monster flew down the hall, and I mumbled, “That stupid thing better not destroy the massage chairs! I’ll need an extra-long session after this!”
We spotted the monster lurking in the fountains. It was ready to consume someone, but when it spotted us, it stared at us defensively. “It’s just gonna run away if we go near it!” Luke denoted. “Too bad we don’t have some way of slowing it down!”
“Hey! We do have something for that!” I realized. I led them into a bookstore on the corner, and when we stationed ourselves at the entrance closest to the monster, I held my hand out to Beck and demanded, “Give me your stash!”
“Um, I know this is a stressful situation, but do you really think this is the best time for it?” Beck inquired.
I replied, “Just do it!”
Beck seemed reluctant to encourage this endeavor, but he handed me a sandwich bag full of green commodities nonetheless. I turned to the scene in the aisle, and the monster resumed snapping at individuals. When it faced our direction, I threw the bag into its throat! I panicked for a split second and wished I had elected someone more athletic for this stunt, but to my alleviation, its mandible was big enough that I didn’t have to possess a lot of sportiness to hit this target! When it recognized that it swallowed something it didn’t intend to, it stood in confusion for a spell. Sally vocalized, “You know that stuff isn’t instant, right?” I bit my lip in worry, but then the monster developed a glazed expression that suggested its thoughts had altered. Sally then quizzed Beck, “How strong was that strain?”
The monster started swaying as if it were struggling to keep itself upright. Sam verbalized, “Oh, good! The stash is having a lethargic effect on it! When it becomes incapacitated, we can eradicate it!” It closed its lids and landed in the water with its head fully submerged, so Sam changed his tune, “Or not!”
When the air bubbles ceased to form, we knew it was over. The five of us breathed a sigh of relief, but the audience booed. “That was so anticlimactic!” a member of the crowd shouted.
It was a bit frustrating to get jeered after we just saved a bunch of lives, but I resisted pointing that out because, well, how was I supposed to explain that this was reality? We wanted to discuss this incident with one another, but then a couple of security guards approached us. “We got a report that there was a disturbance in this area…” the first security guard confronted us.
“Nope! Everything’s fine!” I lied.
“What’s that over there?” the second guard indicated to the monster’s corpse.
Beck scratched his head in befuddlement. “That’s a damn good question!”
The first security guard decreed, “I’m afraid we’re gonna have to trespass you! When you have an event this size, you gotta get a permit first!”
While he spoke, the beast’s body disappeared. Luke contended, “You have no proof that we did anything wrong!”
“No proof? How about that giant thing in the-?” The second security guard noticed that the monster had vanished, and he practically jumped out of astonishment. “What the-? How did you guys do that?”
“A magician never reveals their tricks!” Sam chimed.
The security guards stood there frozen in bewilderment. Sally chirped, “Happy Halloween!” Preceding them reacting to this, we sped out of the area.
As we walked to the exit, Luke recalled, “Oh, I still gotta pick up my suit! I won’t have time later ‘cause I gotta do a couple hours with my taxi. Ugh, I hope it’s not too rough after a day like this!”
“I hope it goes well! You were such a big help today that you deserve a relaxing shift!” I graciously relayed to him.
“Thanks!” He gave me a big grin.
I couldn’t stop myself from grinning back as I addressed him, “No, thank you! We couldn’t have done this without you!”
Luke encouragingly conveyed, “Yeah, you would have! You’ve got the proper talent for this- don’t second-guess yourself!” He waved goodbye with a wide smile, and I forgot about everything else for a minute as I savored this sight!
It all came rushing back to me though as I swiveled around and saw my three besties giving me knowing looks. I blushed and switched topics, “So, do you have all you need for Spirit Week?”
“Let’s just say I’m done shopping!” Sam declared. “I just want to go home and try not to think about monsters!” The rest of us heartily shared that sentiment as we headed out!
New Trouble, Chapter 7
Sam fretted, “We shouldn’t have let go down there alone! This house could be hiding more secrets, and something could’ve gotten to him without us knowing! We’re terrible friends!”
As we stared into the dark abyss that shrouded the basement of the Hecate House, Sally disagreed, “Hey, it’s not like we chose not to assist him down there! He said our jitters were distracting him! Besides, I’m sure if something attacked him, he’d make some noise!”
“What if the floors opened up and swallowed him whole without him even getting a chance to scream?” I mulled that over for a moment, and then I changed my position, “No! Halorykta wouldn’t do that! She doesn’t even know which one of us has the key! We don’t even know which one of us has the key! She wouldn’t single out just one of us!”
“Yes, we’re behaving nonsensically, aren’t we?” Sam canvassed Sally and me. “Alright, so we had a harrowing experience that defied all logic and reasoning! It doesn’t mean that something spooky is going to ambush us at every corner!”
We heard a small ping of metal ring out from up here, and Sally gasped, “What was that? It’s happening again, isn’t it? Oh god! Oh god!”
I advised Sally, “Save that talk for your next date! Beck probably just dropped a tool! We’re being silly! There’s nothing in this house but the four of us!”
“Hello!” a female’s voice from behind us chimed.
“Aaaahhhh!” Sally, Sam, and I shrieked.
We slowly turned around and expected to face something freaky, but it turned out to be an athletic woman with blonde dreadlocks and green eyes. As we collected our wits, I breathily greeted her, “Oh, hello, Belle! How are you?”
Belle ogled us peculiarly. “I’m fine! Is everything okay here…?”
“Oh, totally!” I lied. “Everyone’s great!”
“I heard screaming! What happened?” Beck emerged from downstairs and apprehensively scanned the scenery. When he perceived that Belle was present, he attempted to act smoothly, “Hey, babe! Whatcha doin’ here?”
Belle apprised him, “You forgot the battery for your drill! But, I figured since I’m here, and I don’t have anything else to do today, I may as well help you out!”
Beck’s eyes widened at that concept. “You wanna help?”
“Yeah, why not?” Belle glanced at our worried expressions, and she pressed us, “What? Is there some reason I can’t join you?”
“No, no, no! We just… Uh…” Beck struggled to concoct an excuse for our edgy behavior.
We were all reluctant to risk another innocent bystander getting involved with our transcendental misadventures. Luke could’ve gotten as banged up as his car because we weren’t discerning enough to distance ourselves from outsiders, but at the same time, we couldn’t isolate ourselves completely. I felt torn, but when I studied the hurt in Belle’s eyes, I knew I couldn’t let Beck get in trouble with her! I got some strange looks from my besties for doing it, but I still laughed heartily, “We’ve been working way too long! We’re due for a break!”
The other three caught onto my plan, so they nodded vigorously. Belle seemed skeptical at first, but eventually, she smiled and joined us.
The five of us sat in the living room on the antique furniture I recently cleaned, and we consumed sodas and snacks we stashed on the coffee table. Sally regaled us, “…And then, he took his pants off and mooned my manager! I’m, like, seriously? It’s not our fault your coupon expired! Ugh! That place is too much! I’m quitting!”
“You’ve been saying that for twenty years!” Sam denoted.
“I know! But last time I talked to the boss, I actually handed in my notice! Then, he promoted me to assistant manager! I thought if I earned more money, I could go back to college and get a less stressful job, but now I work too many hours to go to class!” Sally sighed.
Beck suggested, “What about night school?”
Sally bristled at that notion, “What? And give up my social life completely?”
“They have men at night school, too!” I pointed out. Sally considered that possibility for a few seconds.
“I read that they launched an online university recently!” Belle conversed. “Maybe they’d have more flexible hours!”
Beck predicted, “She won’t go for that! She wouldn’t see any men!”
Sally disputed, “Um, there are men online too! Actually, I tried online dating once, but I didn’t like it! It’s way too easy to build a fake profile and be something you’re not! It doesn’t beat human contact! I can’t see online dating ever catching on!”
“Really? ‘Cause I believe, in the future, technology will replace virtually everything we do!” Sam argued. The rest of us heartily did not agree with that premise.
“Oh, this morning, I did my sunrise meditation on the beach, and you’ll never guess what I…!” Belle started to narrate.
A strange sound emanated from the basement, and everyone but Belle appeared nervous about it. “I’m sure it was nothing!” I reassured them all. I went near the basement entrance and gingerly peered around the corner to see if anything scary surfaced. “Please, continue with your story!” I strove to convey a casual tone.
Belle went on, “You’ll never guess what I saw! It was a humpback whale!” I swore I heard movement downstairs, so I inched closer to investigate. “It was singing! That’s usually a sign from the higher realm that-!”
“Something’s coming up here!” I announced to the group.
“Are you expecting someone?” Belle pondered.
Beck admitted, “Um, kinda!”
I cringed to think that we managed to get another person involved with this escapade! She was fairly spiritual, so it probably wouldn’t have taken her too long to accept it- I was more fearful that she might get hurt as we fended our latest combatant off! A shadow moved closer and closer, and we stood ready to… I’m not sure! None of us brought any weapons or anything! Regardless, we stood ready to fight as a creature emerged from the darkness…
“Oh, it’s you!” I guffawed in relief as the black cat entered into the vicinity. “You’re probably hungry for something other than rats, aren’t you, Scully?”
“Scully?” Sam looked at me with intrigue.
As I opened a bag of kitty kibble I brought, I explained, “Yeah, ‘cause she’s down there investigating the paranormal!” I tittered until I caught Belle’s befuddled visage. “Well, we… uh… Beck told you about the Haunted House we found down there, right?”
Belle didn’t seem to buy that. “You guys all gathered to watch a pet come upstairs?”
New Trouble, Chapter 6
He didn’t suspect a thing… A handsome man around our age with a warm olive complexion, amber eyes, and smoky black hair waited near the entrance of my apartment complex. It was quiet outside until Sally, Beck, Sam, and I burst onto the scene! We rushed out of the side entrance, and when I saw a cab sitting in our proximity, I led my besties there to obtain protection. He was waiting patiently for his intended passenger when I barreled into his passenger seat! He didn’t have much time to react to me because Beck, Sam, and Sally piled into his backseat! He seemed rather bewildered by our abrupt and disheveled appearance, but he somehow kept his cool as he queried, “Would any of you happen to be Missus Houston?”
“Just drive!” I urgently requested as I watched the scenery behind us. I saw an old lady with a walker come out to the curb, and I felt a twinge of guilt for stealing her ride, but this was an emergency!
“So… You’re heading to Elm Street Geriatricians?” the man questioned as he drove.
I was so busy keeping my eyes peeled for danger that I hadn’t quite absorbed his enquiry. “Huh? Oh, yeah! Sure!”
The man’s brows furrowed at our behavior, but he remained as polite as ever. “Alright… Well, I’m Luciano Perez, but please, call me Luke! I will be your driver this evening!”
“I don’t see them!” Sally reported. “I think we shook them off!”
“Shook who off?” Luke wondered.
In unison, the four of us chime, “Nobody!”
Luke appeared completely baffled by our activity, but he didn’t lose his professionalism. “Okie dokie! …I don’t wanna know, do I?”
“You really don’t!” Sam told him.
“She wasn’t lying when she said she’d make our lives stressful!” Beck commented.
I asserted, “It’s fine! She can keep pulling these stunts if she wants, we’re not gonna give her what she wants!”
Sally posed to me, “How long are we going to keep this up? She can go after us for forever!”
“I dunno! But we’ll figure out some way to defeat her, trust me!” I avowed.
“Um… Alright! I gotta ask… Are you on the run from the cops or some criminal organization?” Luke probed.
After a small bout of contemplation, I responded to him, “Well, let’s just say they’re not friendly! It looks like they gave up, so-!”
Luke hollered in fright, and we were horrified to see the three metallic birds facing the windshield! Luke did a sharp turn into a nearby street, and that caused them to impact the side of his vehicle, so we were spared from the worst of it. Luke sped away until there was no more road. “Crap! We hit a dead end!” Luke lamented.
“That’s ominous!” Beck remarked.
“Go into that parking garage!” I directed him.
Luke objected, “But, they charge a fee!” He felt more projectiles hit his taxi, so he changed his tune, “Okay! It’s worth a shot!”
He raced to the gate, grabbed an automated ticket, and tore through the lot. “What’s the plan?” Luke asked us.
More of the metal feathers hit the car’s body, and I answered Luke, “The plan is to try not to die!”
“Can you be more specific?” Luke pressed me.
“We gotta find a way to destroy them!” Sally decreed.
The birds hit the hood of the cab, and we stopped moving! We dodged their strikes as we ran into the adjacent building. After we caught our breath, Sam illuminated us, “Metal can get destroyed in several ways. It can get melted, and some fall victim to the corrosive effect of…”
We heard the birds enter into the building, so we jogged down the corridor. We had no choice but to enter through the door at the end, and we stumbled into a group of people in business casual wear who were glimpsing at us in shock. I apologized, “Sorry for interrupting!”
“No need to be sorry… Who takes care of your long-distance service?” a guy heading the meeting petitioned us.
“Actually, my carrier’s getting kinda expensive!” Beck relayed to them. Before the guy could belt out any more of his pitch, I yanked Beck away from him, and we zoomed out of another entryway.
The birds saw us down the hall and made a beeline for our location! Thankfully, there was an elevator nearby, and we were able to close the door prior to them getting to us! We got off on the third floor in hopes of it being random enough that the birds weren’t there, and to our relief, they weren’t! We could hear metal clacking above us though, so we didn’t have long! We tiptoed down the corridor and scanned the scenery to discover a place that was still open. Sally pointed to a door with a VCR logo that still had its lights on, so we rushed in.
Clearly, a party was going on in one of their offices because there was music and cheering booming into their lobby. A woman emerged in a party hat and sprinkles of confetti in her hair, and she courteously addressed us, “Can I help you?”
“I sincerely doubt it!” Sam articulated.
“Hey, Susan! Get back in here!” someone yelled. Susan shrugged and returned to the festivities.
I instructed the others, “Quick! We need to come up with a way to get rid of them!”
Beck differed, “I don’t know, Penny! This is their office and all…”
“Why do we have to be quick?” Sally pondered.
“We can’t endanger those innocent bystanders!” Luke reminded her.
From the raucous gathering, we heard a small crowd chanting, “Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!”
Luke walked back part of his statement, “Uh, maybe innocent wasn’t a good adjective for them!”
I urged the other four, “Seriously, guys! We need to figure out an idea of what to do before-!” I spotted the birds outside of this office’s window, and I sighed, “Too late!”
We exited their rear entrance, and fortunately, there was a trash chute close by! Sally, Sam, and Beck jumped in with no problems, so I didn’t have any fears going in myself. I encouraged Luke to go in ahead of me, but, in a very gentlemanly fashion, he insisted I do it first. There wasn’t a second to spare to argue, so I went in. He followed me shortly, and it wasn’t until he and I were already sliding down that Sally shouted, “Don’t go in! It gets narrow near the-!” We collided with their mass, and Sally quizzed us, “Didn’t you hear my warning?”
“Yeah, we did! This is exactly what we wanted to happen!” I quipped as I lay smooshed against Luke’s front side! Right after I expressed that, I noticed that Luke had the most beautiful eyes! They had a strong but kind quality to them, and I suddenly found myself becoming very flustered! Under any other circumstance, this would have been a very pleasant outcome!
“I can squeeze through!” Sam informed us as he wriggled out from between Sally and Beck. “After that, each of you shimmy down one at a time! Got it?”
Like apprised Sam, “Sorry, I wasn’t listening! I gotta use all my concentration on thinking about baseball right now!”
Beck puzzled, “You gotta think about baseball at a moment like this? Why?”
“I know why!” Sally glanced up with a wry smile prior to her wiggling downward. She grunted, “Oof! This would be so much easier if the surface was slicker!” She turned her head when she got a glimpse of Beck’s back end, and she complained, “Ugh! This is the worst!”
“No way! It could be worse!” Beck disagreed. “We could be getting attacked by those monsters as we-!”
As if on cue, their metallic feathers tore through the walls! Mercifully for us, nothing impacted our bodies, and their destruction widened the vessel enough for us to slip out! We landed in another hallway, and a male’s voice called out, “Who’s there?” We scrambled and eluded his sighting of us.
We didn’t see any businesses still in operation in this sector, but there was a cleaning cart next to a medical imaging center. We saw the lock was unlatched, so we hurried in there. We picked a space at random to hide in, which was in an MRI room, and we swiftly convened. “What if we just asked Halorykta nicely to quit it?” Sam suggested.
I shook my head at that proposal. “She’s not gonna do that ‘til we agree to hand over the key to Pandora’s Box!”
“Huh?” Luke reacted in befuddlement.
“We were chosen to guard something that an angry goddess wants to use to wipe out humanity,” Sally briefed Luke.
Luke raised his eyebrows at that premise. “Oh, well, that clears things up- not! What in the-? Huh?”
The birds found us in our refuge, and Beck griped, “Oh, come on! Can’t you give us five minutes to breathe?”
With malicious smirks on their faces, the birds torpedoed toward us! We ducked, and they strove to hit their metaphysical brakes as they headed toward the machine. Their efforts were useless though- the pull of the machine was too strong! They gazed at us with pleading eyes, and Beck huffed, “Oh, yeah! Like we’re gonna help you after all that!”
The birds bore expressions of absolute horror as they were ingested by the MRI’s tube, and after a couple of sparks flew, the birds melted in its core! Sam gasped, “Oh, of course! These machines have a powerful magnetic field that can attract and heat metal! I should’ve thought of that!”
“Yeah, you should have! That would’ve saved us some valuable time!” Sally verbalized.
“Hello?” The custodian called out again. “Is that you, Martha? I told you it’s over between us!” Even though we were curious about this backstory, we scrambled to get out of there preceding him seeing us.
In the parking lot, Luke beheld the state of his vehicle, and he groaned, “I guess I’d better call a tow truck! Oh man, how am I gonna explain this to my boss?”
Sally opened the hood, and she assessed, “Hmm… They just seemed to knock a few things out of place! Let me just adjust it, and.. Voila! Try it!”
Luke started the cab, and it turned on without a fuss! He still looked pretty dismal, though. “I still gotta explain the damage to him! How on Earth can I do that without sounding like a lunatic?”
“You leave that to us!” Beck assured him.
“A bear? A bear did all this?” His boss gestured to the large impact holes left by the metallic feathers.
Luke sheepishly communicated to him, “Yup! That’s what happened! …Crazy story, right?”
His boss glanced at us to verify this, and we nodded vigorously. He was pretty perplexed by our claim, and for a flash, we worried he wouldn’t believe us, but thankfully, he exclaimed, “Damn! That must’ve been one hella big bear!”
“It was a monster!” I conveyed with a degree of truth.
“Alright, well, I’ll file a report for the insurance company in the morning. You okay taking it home tonight?” Luke’s boss inquired.
Like replied, “That’s fine!”
His boss gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder as he ambled over to his personal car. I expected to walk home, but then Luke offered, “Do you guys want a ride?”
Beck seemed hesitant on that notion. “I dunno… Do you take post-dated checks?”
The ride back to Artemis Arms was awfully quiet. Luke appeared rather upset about the whole affair, and I was writhing in guilt over what he went through. When we pulled up to my complex, a dude hailed him down, “Taxi!” When he saw the state of the cab, he changed his mind, “Um… I’ll take the next one!”
“I’m sorry, Luke!” I ruefully voiced to him. “We shouldn’t have gotten you involved! At least, after tonight, you don’t have to deal with this dilemma again!”
“Take care, Penny!” He grimly grinned at me prior to taking off.
As I watched his silhouette go farther and farther away, my heart ached! I hardly knew him, but I definitely wanted to get to know him more! I didn’t have much of an opportunity for reflection during that kerfluffle, but now that I could contemplate it, he caused more flutters today than Ned in the years I was with him! I reckoned I would never see him again after this incident, and that was absolutely tragic to me since I truly believed we may have had something special between us!
“So, what happens next?” Sam surveyed us. “We go about our lives as if monsters aren’t due to attack at a moment’s notice?”
“Apparently!” I shrugged.
New Trouble, Chapter 5
“Whoo! That was fun!” Beck exclaimed as we landed on a stony surface surrounded by stalagmites and stalactites.
A scantily clad woman wearing a gilded bralette, a high-slitted skirt with an ornate belt that matched her top, gold cuffs on her arms and wrists, and (I’m fairly certain) long, blonde hair extensions gaped at us from her rocky throne with piles of fine powder on both sides. A crow that was perched on her shoulder peered at us curiously, but she looked rather livid as she curtly addressed us, “Fun?”
Beck elaborated on his position, “Yeah! It was sweet, like riding a gnarly wave when the weather’s getting a bit rough! Total trip!”
The woman looked at the rest of us for an explanation, and Sam articulated, “I’ll take his word on that- I’ve never been surfing!”
“I have, but I didn’t like it! By the time I’m done, I’m way too exhausted to have fun with the surfer boys!” Sally remarked.
“So, let me take a wild guess… You’re Halorykta!” I supposed.
After regaining her composure, she adopted a voice of grandeur as she introduced herself, “Yes! Welcome to Halukos Spilaio! I am Halorykta, Goddess of Salt and Minerals!”
Sam’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Salt? That’s it?”
“What do you mean, that’s it?” Halorykta roared. “Salt is very valuable!”
“Perhaps in the Middle Ages, but it’s rather widespread in modern society!” Sam differed. “When our soothsayer said you were an important figure, I assumed you were in charge of birth, death, or something along those lines!”
Halorykta irritatedly explained, “You are misguided! Salt is essential to life! If humans or certain plants don’t have enough salt, they will die! Without me, you wouldn’t exist!”
Beck commented, “This voyage is turning into a bummer! Where’s that magic traveling crystal?”
“I apologize! We got off to a bad start!” Halorykta altered her tone to sound much kinder. “Please, enjoy your stay here!”
“Stay? Don’t tell me we’re stuck here!” Sally groaned.
Halorykta was obviously irked by our desire to depart from her domicile, but she did her utmost to maintain her cool. “It’s merely a temporary visit, but while you are here, I hope you enjoy yourselves! Not a lot of mortals get to set foot in this realm, so you should consider yourself lucky!”
I sarcastically responded, “Uh-huh! This is exactly what we wanted to be doing on a Friday night! Arguing with an apocalyptic entity about a key!”
“Who mentioned anything about a key?” Halorykta acted coy, but even her bird gawked at her in disbelief.
“Ooh! Did you give up your desire to destroy humanity?” Beck glimpsed at her with optimism sparkling in his eyes.
Halorykta’s expression shifted guiltily. “Uh…”
Beck huffed in disappointment, “Lame!”
“So, this isn’t about getting your mitts on the thing you need to open Pandora’s Box?” I called her bluff.
“I… Alright, fine! I was going to engage in a little pleasantry to enhance the process, but if you would rather not beat around the bush, I’m alright with skipping formalities! So… Are you going to give it to me, or…?” Halorykta probed.
Sally deduced, “Ah ha! It must be something small if she thinks we have it on us!”
Halorykta blinked in surprise. “You don’t know what it is?”
“Can you tell us?” Sam requested.
“Hmm… I will do it on one condition… You must give it to me after I do you this favor!” Halorykta decreed.
I scoffed at that notion, “Psh! Why would we agree to do that? You’ll kill us after you open Pandora’s Box!”
Halorykta uttered a noise of annoyance. “Oh, come on! You can’t pretend you’ll miss every single human being! Isn’t there someone out there who ever double-crossed you? Perhaps you have a lover who betrayed you?”
Laughing at that concept, I verbalized, “Even if Ned wanted to cheat on me, he would have had a hard time! Well, maybe hard isn’t the right word to use…”
She glared at me for a second, and I began to get a bit nervous. I didn’t want to enrage her and get murdered and permit her world-ending plans to come into fruition! Not only would the police have had no ability to solve this crime, I might have given her the chance to steal…. Whatever the key was! Imagine if all of society crumbled simply because of my sass! Luckily, she appeared to let it go as she bargained with us, “Alright! What if I promise to bring your family and closest friends here before I open it? They would be spared from the carnage! Fair?”
“Ugh! No way! That would be so boring!” Sally objected.
“Sally would feel lost without a wide variety of suitors!” Sam conversed.
Taking a slight exception to that, Sally rejoindered, “Hey! There’s more to me than bedroom gymnastics! I would miss poetry meets and rock concerts too!”
Halorykta offered, “Van Morrison is in the afterlife. You could watch him perform!”
“Really? I-!” Sally mulled that over for a moment, and then she showed far less enthusiasm for the idea. “Wait, wouldn’t I be dead?”
“So, it wouldn’t really be a ‘live’ concert?” Beck joked.
Sam put in, “I would miss the art of discovery! The other side would have all of the answers, and there would be nothing new to explore! I would rather study the Heavens, not be in them!”
Halorykta tried to tempt him, “All of the best scientists in the universe would join you! You could spend an eternity picking their brains! Not to mention all of your favorite Star Trek characters…”
“Wow! I could be in the presence of Captain Kirk and Captain Picard!” Sam gushed. “Imagine the possibilities!”
“Dude!” Beck upbraided him.
Sam snapped back to his senses. “Right! No, thank you!”
She strove to sway Beck, “You could see the planet’s biggest conductor and all of the natural currents beneath the surface! Or, if you prefer, you could go back to the surface and do all the surfing you want!”
“You think I’m dumb, don’t you?” Beck challenged her.
“I mean, all humans are pretty dumb…” Halorykta awkwardly jerked in her seat.
Beck spat, “All of the chaos you’d unleash would probably make the conditions of the ocean major treacherous! And, seeing natural electricity would be fun, but wiping out humanity to see it would be so not rad!”
Halorykta hesitantly turned to me, and I crossed my arms in a skeptical manner. “This oughta be good!” I muttered.
“Well…!” Halorykta hesitantly conveyed to me. “You want to be an actress? You could become one here and act with some of the most famous actors in history! Marilyn Monroe, James Dean… You could do Shakespeare with Shakespeare!”
“Okay! That’s totally worth obliterating humankind!” I sarcastically reacted to that proposal.
Halorykta gleamed with a glimmer of hope upon hearing that. “So, you’ll do it?”
I barked, “No, you psychopath!”
“Ugh! Mortals are so unbelievably insolent!” Halorykta grumbled.
“Why do you wanna destroy humanity anyways?” I accosted her. “You’re in a whole other realm- we’re not even bothering you!”
Halorykta vociferated, “Human beings are selfish, loathsome pieces of trash that don’t appreciate the life they’ve been given! They do not deserve the blessings they have! They’re self-centered and cruel, and the planet would be better off without them inhabiting it!”
Sally debated her, “Humans may not be perfect, but they’re still worth saving! They have…! They can…! They will…! Damn it! I know there has to be something redeemable about our species!”
Sam, Sally, and I were silent as we struggled to uncover a persuasive argument, but Beck piped up, “We invented Pina Coladas! Booyah!”
Halorykta ogled at us questioningly, and I steered us away from this difficult exchange, “Listen, it’s not up to us to justify our existence! We’re not gonna help you open Pandora’s Box! Halorykta, if you wanna take out humankind, figure out another way to do it!”
“I’ve already tried everything I could!” Halorykta informed us. “I thought for sure all the sodium I put in your food would do the trick, but I think you guys are building an immunity to it or something!” None of us had a reaction to her so-called plight, and this caused her to surge with acrimony. “Fine! I’m done with this charade of civility! If you four fools refuse to assist me, I will make your lives hell!”
“See, that sort of sounds like you’re gonna off us again!” Beck pointed out.
Halorykta gritted her teeth, and then she clarified, “I didn’t mean that literally! Your lives will get filled with a lot of stress!”
Sally dryly asserted, “Gee, I wonder what it’d be like to have a stressful life! Have you ever tried working in retail?”
“You’re not taking this seriously!” Halorykta observed.
“Yes, you’re correct, we are not!” Sam confirmed. “None of this feels real! I still haven’t ruled out that we’re having a collective fever dream!”
Halorykta was clearly vexed by our attitude, but she regained her composure as she concluded our interaction, “Believe what you will! You’ll soon realize that you made a tremendous mistake!”
I apathetically communicated, “Groovy! I’m sure we will! Can you send us home now? I really need to soak my feet!”
“What are you going to soak it in? Is it bath salt?” Halorykta queried.
“Not anymore, it’s not!” I crinkled my nose at the thought of how many of my possessions had an influence from this malefactress.
Halorykta grimaced, and then she summoned another crystal. “Goodbye, you imbeciles! I’ll be right here when you change your minds!” She maniacally cackled as the crystal transported us out of there.
We landed in the same positions we were in when we left. It took us a small stretch to regain our wits, and when this strange transpiration finally sank in for us, Beck wondered, “What do you think she’s gonna do to us?”
“Probably nothing, “Sam hypothesized. “Akrivisa said there was only so much she could do because the other gods would offer people protection, so I imagine it was an empty threat!” He seemed pretty confident about his prediction until there was a knock on the front door. “Probably someone very normal…”
“See who it is!” I directed them.
Sally objected, “Why us?” I gestured to indicate how close they were to the door, and she complained, “Why doesn’t your complex give you peepholes?” She opened the door a crack, and Beck as well as Sam hid behind her as she anxiously articulated to the visitors, “Hello?”
A male’s voice projected, “Adonis Shore Police Department! We got a call saying someone’s daughter was being kidnapped here…”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” I got up and made the entryway ajar. Three young officers were standing on my stoop with a plethora of concern in their eyes. I briefed them, “That was my mom. She just freaked out ‘cause I hung up on her.”
“So, everyone here is safe and sound?” another policeman verified.
Sally kidded, “I dunno about sound…”
That policeman coquettishly waved at her. “Hi, Sally!”
“May I remind you, Thackery, you’re on duty!” the female officer prodded him.
“No, you may not!” Thackery espied the look on her face, and he dashed away from the area fast.
Prior to him vacating the premises, the other policeman canvassed us, “Everything’s cool here, right?”
I certified, “We’re cool! Huh! There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say!”
As soon as he shut the door, we were prepared to discuss our supernatural dilemma, but we spotted a large mass moving toward us out of the corner of our eyes, and we glanced over under the assumption that it was something benign. To our horror, we beheld three bronze birds with sharp beaks, metallic feathers, and a malicious grin! I didn’t even know that was possible with those creatures! We all screamed at their abrupt and demonic appearance!
“Everything okay?” that policeman shouted from down the hall.
“Totally!” Sally lied.
There was a bit of a standoff as the two sides gazed at each other. Eventually, Beck broke the tension by whispering, “What do we do?”
All of a sudden, their feathers bristled, and we got the impression that they were gearing up to get chucked at us! “We run!” I edicted.
We dodged their projectiles, and as I shut the door behind me, Sam petitioned me, “And, after that?”
The hinges of the door fell, and as the door toppled and we fled, I stated, “One step at a time!”
New Trouble, Chapter 4
Sally’s eyes went wide as she expressed, “We were chosen to save the Earth… right! Well, I better call JT and tell him I’m not coming! I’ll be too busy getting kidnapped by a Trekkie!”
“That’s not a Trekkie!” Sam objected. “No one on any version of the show wore… Well, there was a ceremonial robe worn by-!”
“No offense, dude! But, no one wants to hear about Star Trek at the moment!” Beck apprised him.
Sam acquiesced, “Oh, yeah! Because there’s an enigmatic figure in Penny’s living room!”
Beck articulated, “Yeah, that too!”
“Why exactly were we chosen to save the planet?” I asked Akrivisa.
“The universe works in mysterious ways!” Akrivisa answered in a celestial voice.
I surmised, “You don’t know, do you?”
Losing her ethereal aura, Akrivisa confirmed, “They didn’t tell me. Usually, I can guess why the gods bestow a task on people, but in this case, it’s a total mystery!”
“Alrighty! Thanks so much for coming! This has been super helpful!” I sardonically regarded her.
“I must inform you of the precarious situation we find ourselves in!” Akrivisa beseeched us to keep our attention on her.
Beck whined, “Aw, man! I picked a bad time to need to use the bathroom!”
Akrivisa filled us in, “Halorykta, one of the most powerful goddesses in existence, has suddenly become enraged and wants to wipe out all of humanity!”
“Why? What did we do?” Sam contemplated that for a second, and then he changed his tone slightly, “Okay, so we haven’t exactly been kind to the environment or each other, but we’re getting better, I swear!”
“No, she’s not doing it because of that! I’m not sure why she’s doing it, but it’s not that! She’s pretty self-centered…” Akrivisa remarked.
Sally inquired, “So, how exactly are we supposed to protect our world from this goddess who arbitrarily decided to evoke the apocalypse?”
Akrivisa replied, “Ah! You see, she cannot simply use her powers to do the deed, the other gods would protect humans against that sort of attack! However, if she unlocked Pandora’s Box, chaos and destruction would get released, and there wouldn’t be anything that could be done to stop it! So, your assignment is simple: keep the key away from Halorykta!”
“Finally! Some answers!” I remarked. “Alright, I guess we can take care of this key! That doesn’t sound too hard!”
“Excellent! Good luck on your journey!” Akrivisa readied herself to disappear.
Beck prevented her from doing that, “Woah, dude! Wait! You haven’t given us the key yet!”
Akrivisa gazed at us in confusion. “I was told you guys already had it with you!”
“Um, I’m pretty sure we would remember if we were given a mythical key!” Sally stated. She glimpsed at Beck to make sure her claim was accurate.
“Let’s see… That’s from the arcade, that’s from the Alanis residence…” Beck began examining a giant keyring that he furnished from his pocket.
Akrivisa illuminated us, “The key may not be shaped as a traditional one. It could merely be something that must be in one’s possession in order to disarm the defenses on Pandora’s Box!”
Sam summarized the situation for verification purposes, “So, we were inexplicably chosen to guard an unknown object from a goddess who wants to destroy all of humankind for unknown reasons?”
“Yes!” Akrivisa certified the accuracy of this analysis. “I realize that’s not much to go on…”
“That’s practically nothing to go on!” I pointed out.
Akrivisa apologized, “Sorry! I’m just the messenger! I can only provide you with as much information as I’ve been given! I imagine it’s one of those things that will become apparent as the days go on! Best of fortune to you all!” Following her well-wishes, she vanished.
We stood there staring at the spot Akrivisa was standing for several seconds, just trying to absorb what transpired there. After a considerable stretch, I spoke up, “Wait, did she say days?”
“Days to do what?” Sam queried. “We don’t even know what we’re supposed to be guarding!”
“I’ll bet it has something to do with the Hecate House!” Sally theorized. “I mean, could it be a coincidence we barrel our way into a forbidden sector, and suddenly, we’re seeing supernatural shit?”
Beck puzzled, “Is the house the key? No, how could anyone take that from us?”
I brought up, “No one’s taking that thing! My family’s attorney had a hard enough time finding one person to take it!”
“It does seem like there’s a correlation between your inheritance and… a group hallucination? What was that?” Sam pondered. “It couldn’t have been real, could it?”
“Well, it has to be! If you could simply teleport into someone’s home, maybe sometimes I would go straight to bed with my dates!” Sally opined.
Beck attempted to buoy our spirits, “Okay, we can do this! We’ll protect everything we own from… who? The goddess? What does she look like? It doesn’t matter, she could wear disguises…”
I supplemented his statement, “Or, she could have henchmen go get it!”
“It bugs me that we weren’t given a choice in this! Literally anyone else could have gotten this responsibility, but they picked four people who already have a lot on their plates! I have half a mind to refuse to participate on principle!” Sally pouted.
“But, she did say that this Halorykta person wants the human race to go into extinction! If we don’t do this, we could lose everything!” Sam’s visage became visibly distraught at the premise.
We all shared his sentiments, and Beck asserted, “That’s heavy, man! We, like, can’t fail! … Do you know what? It’s fine, dudes! We were chosen for a reason! We’re awesome, and the world can count on us! We’ve got the skills…!” He glanced down at his shorts, and he denoted, “Oh, snap! I better not sit on any of your furniture!”
Sam studied his clothing upon hearing that. “Did you…?”
“That woman scared me, alright?” Beck sulked.
“Feel free to call it a night!” I recommended. “We may have a busy week or even month ahead of us, so we should rest while we still can! If you see anything weird, give me a call!”
The other three agreed with my suggestion, and after we bade each other goodbye, I cleaned up around my place. I intended to take the trash out, but I grew afraid of accidentally tossing that key out! I set it down and began setting up the futon for night mode. I expected to encounter difficult obstacles after my divorce, but I believed I could overcome them with practice. This was a whole new trouble though, and I had no clue if I was capable of handling it!
I went to the financial district the next day. I wore a dress shirt and skirt I had from some hospital function I went to with Ned, and I felt I looked pretty polished, but after I got off of the bus, I double-checked just to make sure. I used the reflection on the building in front of me to ensure I looked decently, and while my updo was mostly intact, there was a bit of lipstick on my teeth. I intended to remove it preceding my entrance, but as I worked on that, a man in business attire opened the door that I had been gazing at! Not a great start! “Hi! I’m Penelope from the temp agency! I got a call today saying that your receptionist is on maternity leave, so I’m filling in for her!” The man rolled his eyes as he went back inside, and I groaned about the bad beginning of this gig.
“Your desk is here! Just answer the phone calls and the letters that come in!” the man instructed. He turned around and headed toward his office.
“Hold on!” I called after him. “Um, don’t I need to go through any training?”
In quite the condescending fashion, he addressed me, “Answer the phone, and answer the mail! If they have specific enquiries about architecture, hand it over to us. Otherwise, you can find most of the answers in the booklet on your desk.” He walked away in a huff.
I sat at the desk kind of excited for a minute. The man wasn’t exactly nice, but I was glad to earn a little money! I waited for a call or a letter to come in, but instead of anything coming in, the space got kind of quiet, and I sat still for quite a while. It became clear that this venture wouldn’t be so thrilling after all, so I sighed and then rested my head on the desk.
When I got home, I kicked off my heels and rubbed my aching feet. “Tomorrow, I’m wearing flats! That walk to the bus stop is not that short after all!” I heard my phone ring, and I prayed, “Please, don’t be a telemarketer!” I glanced at the Caller ID, and it read: “Mom.” I altered my previous assertion, “I wish it was a telemarketer!” I begrudgingly picked up the receiver and greeted her, “Hello! I was just on my way to meet my pimp…”
“Ha, ha! Very funny!” my mom sarcastically responded. “I’ve been trying to reach you all day! Where were you?”
“I was working!” I didn’t really want to divulge this information to her, but it was easier to hear her get overly excited about this development rather than endure another lecture about finding a career! Or a husband who has one!
My mom got the wrong impression from what I said. “Oh, again with the jokes! What corner were you working? I’m guessing not one in a classy neighborhood!”
I corrected her, “No, I was in an office in the Financial District! But, don’t get too excited- it’s a temporary thing!”
“Yay! That’s wonderful!” my mom rejoiced. “Congratulations! A lot of these jobs will lead to something more permanent, especially if the boss likes you!”
“There’s not a chance in hell of that happening!” I dismally laughed.
My mom interrogated me, “Why not? What did you do?”
I kidded, “He found out which corner I worked at before I started my shift!”
“Ugh! Be serious!” my mom chided me. “This is a fantastic opportunity to get a decent position in the business world…” As she was talking, I heard a click that let me know that I was getting another call. I saw that it was Sam, and I rued the fact that it wasn’t anyone I would have an obligation to speak with immediately. “…If you insist on staying single, then you really do need to consider options that offer security!”
“But, this job wouldn’t make me happy!” I protested. “I spent half the day bored to tears! I didn’t want this saleswoman to leave ‘cause I was so desperate for someone to talk to! Am I supposed to spend the rest of my days miserable for the sole purpose of earning a few bucks?”
My mom argued, “Yes! You work at a place you hate so you can pay for the stuff you love!”
I countered, “So, getting up at six a.m., catching a bus at eight thirty, working ‘til five, getting home at five thirty, taking an hour to make and eat dinner… That leaves me with three hours of free time a day if I save all my chores ‘til the weekend, and then my weekend’s shot running errands! That means I’d spend more time at a workplace I hate than doing the stuff I love! Is that how you expect me to live my life?”
“No!” my mom disagreed, which surprised me until she added, “Get a husband to do all that! It’s so much easier!”
“I-!” Before I could continue this debate, there was a knock on the door. “It’s unlocked!”
My mom became appalled by my behavior. “You’re not gonna see who it is first? You live alone, that’s so dangerous!”
I assured my mom, “It’s no one dangerous! I’m expecting my friends! We’re gonna fix up the…! We’re gonna hang out at the mall! I’m perfectly safe here!”
Sam came inside with Sally and Beck, and I didn’t anticipate anything odd about that, so I kept chatting with my mom until I finally beheld them- they had a crystal floating above their heads! I screamed, and my mom worriedly quizzed me, “What’s wrong? I’m calling the police!”
“There’s no need to do that!” I sounded way less convincing of my confidence in that instance. Suddenly, I felt a force pulling me toward the crystal, so I hastily told my mom, “I gotta go!” Prior to her getting to delve into the matter any further, I hung up. The four of us tried to resist the crystal’s pull, but the crystal won in the end, and we all got sucked into the abyss!
New Trouble, Chapter 3
“Let’s move this shelf and find out!” Sally suggested. She tried to do it herself, but it wouldn’t budge.
“It’s nailed to the sides of the wall,” Sam observed.
Sally huffed, “That would’ve been nice to know before I gave myself a hernia!”
I decreed, “Let’s just tear it down! I don’t have that much stuff to store anyway!”
With enthusiasm, Sally swung her sledgehammer a few times. She created enough holes that we were able to clear out the rest by hand. When we fashioned an entrance large enough for us to fit in, we went in and discovered a mudroom leading to part of the backyard that was currently overrun with bushes. The basement stairwell stood to our left, and I curiously expressed, “What could be down here that needed to be hidden so much?”
“Maybe your grandma hid a dead body down there!” Beck guessed.
“My grandma would never do that!” I refuted.
Beck altered his assertion, “Maybe your mom did it then!”
I responded, “She…! Well, maybe! Whatever it is, we’ll find out soon! Let’s go!” Nobody moved an inch. I don’t know about them, but I began to grow nervous! I didn’t believe what those old biddies claimed about ghosts inhabiting the house, but my inner child determined that the gaping hole in front of us had to have monsters lurking in it! Even with my logic assuring me that wasn’t a possibility, I remained in an angsty state! “So, who wants to go first?”
“Oh, come on! It’s not like there’s a bogeyman in there!” Sam turned on his flashlight and pointed it downwards. He didn’t see anything other than more steps, but he started to get frightened, too. “There could be naturally formed dangers in there, though…”
“If we don’t make it through this, tell Belle I still dig her even as I ride that big wave in the sky!” Beck contemplated that for a second, and then he corrected himself, “Wait, you’ll all be gone too!”
My rational side grew irritated with me for acting like such a fraidy cat, so I grabbed Sam’s flashlight and affirmed, “Oh, we’re being a bunch of big babies! If something horrible existed in there, it would’ve been unleashed by now! Come on!” I marched down the stairs, and the further down we went, the less confident I felt about that pronouncement!
When I got closer to the bottom, all I saw was tile. I had hoped I would have gotten a better glimpse of the basement in order to gauge how much of a threat it was, but apparently, I had no choice but to set foot on to the perimeter. I sort of expected something to ambush me as I touched the ground, but nothing did. I breathed a sigh of relief, but I didn’t quite believe we were free from peril yet…
“What do you see?” Sam canvassed me.
“Let’s see…” I shined a light ahead of me, and I reported, “Oh, there’s another door! It’s kind of fancy, and- oh, no! It says ‘Ghouls’ on it!”
Sally cried out, “We’re all gonna die! And I still have so many things on my to-do list I wanted to accomplish before this time came!”
Beck pondered, “Is it mostly men?”
“Mostly!” Sally proudly confirmed.
“Stand back- I’m gonna open it!” I declared. They ducked behind the banister, and I stood as far away as I could as I made the door ajar. I closed my eyes as I anticipated scary creatures running out, but after a minute of nothing happening, I recognized that there was no imminent attack. I lifted my lids, and I was surprised by what I beheld… “It’s a public restroom!”
Sam, Sally, and Beck puzzled, “What?”
I shined the light on the door next to it, and I filled them in, “This one says ‘Boos!’ What the…? Oh, boys and girls! But, why would Great, Great Grandma Hecate want these here?”
The others ran downstairs, and Sally used the flashlight on her keychain to look at a spot closest to the outside entryway, and she determined, “It’s a ticket booth!”
As Sam and Beck wandered around a bit, Beck posed to us, “Tickets to what? Did she train ghosts to do circus acts?” He laughed at his jest until something moved in the hallway ahead of him…
I shined the flashlight down the hall, and I saw a cartoon ghost attached to a pulley system! There appeared to be other classic Halloween characters down the hallway marked “entrance,” and there was more in an adjacent hall to its right marked “exit!” Beck continued through the hall, and he stirred up instruments that made loud or spooky sounds. Sam noted, “It’s trip wire! It’s activating the jump scares!”
“Gradman Hecate was a steampunk genius!” I gasped.
“That explains the moaning and groaning your neighbors were so afraid of!” Sally articulated. “Rats or something set them in motion! …You may wanna have your house inspected for critters…”
Beck walked out and aired his thoughts, ‘Dude! This place is dope! It’d make bank on the beach like this!”
I broadly grinned as I marveled at this contraption. “My great, great grandmother was an entertainer just like me! This is amazing!” I mulled it over for a moment, and then I frowned, “Why did she hide it?”
“Probably shame,” Sam conjectured. “People were gossiping about her for being strange, so she most likely withdrew from this venture and sought a more typical lifestyle for that generation.”
“But, why not use the space for something else?” Beck catechized. “It’d be a sick spot to open any business!”
I couldn’t drum up a rationale for that, but I became saddened by what my relative went through. “It must’ve failed for some reason. That’s why my mom always encouraged me to pick the safe option- her mother’s grandma pounded it into each generation’s head! Instead of trying again, she got scared into spending the rest of her days risk-free! She let one setback make her give up on her dreams! Well, her efforts won’t have been in vain! We can restore her dream! We can fix up her haunted house and run the attraction again!”
A shutter fell into the nearby bushes, and a cat screeching reverberated into the basement. There was a thump at the door, so Sally opened it. The black cat that frightened Doug entered and stared at the projectile that almost hit her, and Sally recommended, “You may wanna focus on repairing other stuff first!”
I tittered, and then I suggested, “Well, shall we return to work then?”
Beck’s brows furrowed at that notion. “Work? I didn’t have any clients scheduled today! Why would I…? Oh, I gotcha!”
We chuckled as we went back upstairs. Preceding my climb up the steps, I glanced back at the haunted house. It made absolute sense that Grandma Hecate shut this operation down out of embarrassment, but keeping it intact baffled me! I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something sinister about its continuance of existence…
The next day, I strolled into Goldi Locks Salon. An older Hispanic woman with a poofy, blonde permanent, flashy clothes, and long but immaculate fingernails was organizing some of the tools by her chair when she detected my presence. She jovially greeted me, “Penny, mija! How are you?”
“I’m tired, Kitty!” I reported as I gave her a hug. “I was working all day yesterday!”
“Oh! You got a job?” Kitty excitedly asked me as I sat down.
I answered, “Not yet. I gotta get on that though- I inherited an old house, and it needs a lot of work!”
Kitty kindly advised me, “Keep trying ‘til you find something that makes you happy! Life’s too short to settle for the mediocre!”
She put a smock on me, and I requested, “Just a trim today!”
“I said the same thing to my son the other day,” Kitty narrated as she initiated the haircut process. “He’s moonlighting at a job he hates because he needs the money, and he’s miserable! I told him to get himself a wife- there’s his second income! He said he can never meet anyone ‘cause he’s always working, so I’m like, ‘You work at a school, you’re around people all the time!’ He says he’s around kids and is not interested in going down that route, and I argued that there are all kinds of adults there! In other classrooms, the cafeteria, parents coming to get their children…. Psh! He’s a good boy, but he needs to be with someone that makes him happy! …Hey! You two would be perfect for each other!”
“Oh, no! I couldn’t!” I politely declined.
Kitty insisted, “Oh, why not? He’s very handsome!”
I countered, “All moms say that about their sons!”
“Most of those moms are liars!” Kitty debated me. “My son actually is handsome!”
“I’m sure he’s great, but I still can’t do it! If it didn’t work out, I’d risk ruining my relationship with you, and I don’t wanna miss out on coming here!” I gave her my honest opinion on the matter.
Kitty seemed poised to object to my reasoning, but ultimately, she relented, “Okay, okay! I wouldn’t want to lose my favorite customer!” She took off the smock and spun me around so I could catch a glimpse of the work she did. “What do you think?”
I opined, “Perfect, as always!” I handed her a five, and I gave her another hug. “Thanks, Kitty!”
As Kitty put the cash in the drawer, she counseled me, “Don’t forget that you deserve happiness- don’t settle for less!”
With a smile, I kidded, “Where were you before my marriage to you-know-who?” She returned my smile, and I exited feeling pretty good.
“I’m not taking too long to find a job- I’m being selective about my best options!” I proclaimed between sips of a bottle of pumpkin beer.
“I’m not one of your parents- you don’t need to justify yourself to me!’ Sam retorted from my futon.
From the small table by the small kitchen, Sally surveyed us, “Does anyone mind if I take the last slice of pizza? I’ve got a date tonight, and we probably won’t have time to eat!”
Beck gazed at her in a slight astonishment. “Really? You’re going straight to the sack now? Did you give up on regular dating?”
“Hey! I enjoy a good conversation! We’re going to a roller disco! I don’t ever go straight to sex! Well, I might if I didn’t find their conversation interesting! One time, there was this scientist who wouldn’t stop babbling about his research, and I had to get him to shut up somehow!”
“Ben still asks about you!” Sam brought up. “Why are you going to a roller disco? I thought you hated that music!”
Sally explained, “Well, it’s not like they have heavy metal days at that rink! Or a poetry meet! Interpretive dance could be fun on skates!”
I commented, “Whatever floats your boat!”
My telephone rang, and Beck briefed me, “It’s Ned!”
“Again? Don’t answer it!” I instructed him.
“Oh! I already did!” Beck spoke into the receiver, “Wassup?”
Ned urged him, “Put my wife on the phone!”
Beck quizzed him, “Who’s that?”
“You know damn well who I’m talking about, Beck!” Ned spat.
“‘Fraid not, no!” Beck maintained.
Ned emitted an exasperated exhale, and then he demanded, “How much have you been smoking tonight?”
Beck rejoindered, “How much have you been smoking? ‘Cause your memory must be worse than mine if you forgot that you’re not married to Penny anymore!” Ned couldn’t decipher any fault in that statement, and while he was silent, Beck ended their interaction, “Later!” He hung up and laughed, “That was fun!”
After we enjoyed that bit of mirth, Sam relayed to us, “I better get going! I gotta get to the space station early ‘cause…” As soon as he stepped onto the floor, a cloud of maroon smoke appeared in front of him! “I didn’t do it!” He threw his hands into the air and backed away from the growing billows.
“Oh, great! Now your apartment needs repairs, too?” Sally grumped.
“That’d be fine! The super takes care of that!” As I watched a human formation manifesting out of that fog, I exclaimed, “That’s… not covered in my lease!”
When the concealment cleared, an aged female with a brown, hooded robe, straw-like strands, and gray eyes whose slight cloudiness gave off the impression that she was deep in contemplation was revealed! We all froze from shock, and once a considerable stretch rolled by, Beck commentated, “Maybe I did smoke too much tonight!”
Sam buzzed, “Should we call the police, or…?”
“I am Akrivisa the Soothsayer!” the female broadcasted in an omnipresent manner.
“Cool! Um… So, what exactly are you doing in my home?” I pressed her.
Akrivisa announced, “I am here to inform you that you have been chosen by the universe to save the Earth as you know it!”
New Trouble, Chapter 2
I could hardly believe what I just heard! I didn’t know what to expect going into this meeting, but I never fathomed it was because of this! “Grandman Lydia left me her house? Wo! This is so amazing!” I glanced over at Doug, and he was still rather uncertain, so I suspiciously questioned him, “Wait, what’s the catch?”
Doug nervously shot back, “What makes you think there’s a catch?”
“Maybe ‘cause you’re not acting like you just gave me some good news!” I retorted.
“Well, you’re the first person who’s called it that! None of your other relatives wanted it!” Doug gestured to a large stack of papers next to him. “I tried her kids, grandkids, cousins… I even tried one of her exes! He’s a hundred and two and senile as heck, and even he didn’t want it!”
It flabbergasted me to hear such a claim. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve sworn he actually grew a funny bone and was playing a colossal joke on me. “Seriously? Who wouldn’t want the Hecate House? It’s a gorgeous old home, and it’s right next to the ocean! Even if they didn’t wanna move in, they could make a killing renting it or… Oh! Is it ‘cause it needs a lot of work? No one’s lived in it for the last seven years, and I know in the last few years of Grandma Lydia’s life, she was pretty out of it, so I can imagine it’d require an investment to bring it up to code, but that’d be peanuts compared to what they could earn from it!”
Doug quarreled with my logic, “No one’s going to buy that thing! I can’t even give it away!”
“I guess that’s why I’m hearing about it almost a year after she died!” I couldn’t picture the motives for why so many people rejected it, so I queried, “Why won’t anyone take her house?”
“You really don’t know?” Doug glimpsed at me in astonishment, and I gesticulated in a manner that alluded to my lack of insight on this subject, so he revealed to me, “Well… It’s supposed to be haunted!”
I could tell he expected me to grow alarmed by this pronouncement, but I burst into laughter. “For real? No one wants to own such an awesome place ‘cause they believe that silly little rumor?”
Doug catcehized, “You don’t?”
“No!” I emphatically stated. “I went to visit Grandma Lydia a couple times as a kid, and I didn’t see anything strange there! Unless you count bloomers from the twenties… Why did she hold onto those all those years?”
“You think that house is normal?” Doug ogled me as if I had just lost my marbles.
I insisted, “Of course! Occasionally, there were some odd noises in the walls, but it seemed typical for something built in the eighteen hundreds!”
Doug briefed me, “It sounds like nobody told you the story of your great, great grandmother, Hecate! She was said to be an eccentric old lady who very much believed in the occult and pagan religions. She was a genius at engineering, and she designed that building herself. It may look like any other dwelling in the neighborhood, but unlike those other dwellings, it was designed to attract people to its dark depths where ghosts and monsters lurked! The gossip around the town was that Hecate created a magnet for an evil spirit, and long after her demise, many of the inhabitants of this residence have gone mad!”
“Oh, please!” I scoffed at that account. “What I gathered from that BS is some individuals in the nineteenth century were intimidated by a smart female!” Doug opened his mouth to object to that allegation, but he shut it when he couldn’t find anything to counter that. I went on, “Also, Alzheimer’s runs in my family! Only two people got it, but I suppose since they were diagnosed when they were living there, it had to be an evil spirit!”
“There’s something off about that property! Folks can sense it!” Doug remarked. I rolled my eyes, and he recommended, “Before we sign anything, perhaps we should visit the site so you can see it for yourself. A few of your family members kept an open mind ‘til they set foot onto the perimeter, and I don’t want to waste ink signing papers only to void them weeks or days later! …Again!”
I agreed, “Sure! Let’s go!”
Doug articulated, “Okay! Just give me a minute to find my crucifix! …You know, just in case!” I rolled my eyes again, and we left his office.
It was just as I remembered it… The Victorian architecture still proudly stood in the same spot that I recollected… Not that I expected it to move or anything! Although, based on how Doug described it, it may have had that capability! Everything appeared as it did in my memories- the dark-brown paint on the bricks, the lace-like trim around the porch, the asymmetrical shape, the bay window, the steep tiled roof, the turret… Nothing had changed! Right as I thought that, a board came loose and tumbled onto the front steps! Alright, so maybe some things changed!
“What’s the verdict?” Doug posed to me.
“It looks like something out of a fairy tale!” I gushed.
Doug half-kidded, “You mean because it looks like a witch lives there?”
I challenged him, “Do you want me to take the house or not?”
“Oh, right! Well, it’s two stories with an attic. It has a fireplace, and there’s a veranda next to the garden, which is great for parties…” Doug did his utmost to convey enthusiasm, but he was still clearly terrified to even lay his eyes on the domicile. All of a sudden, the gnarly bushes rumbled, and something popped out! Doug screamed in fright, but the culprit turned out to be merely a little black cat! Doug composed himself, and he concluded his spiel, “And, it comes with free pest control! So, what do you say? Do you want it?”
“I’ll take it!” I readily accepted.
Dough sighed and began to walk away. “I understand! Contact me later if you… Sorry, force of habit! Did you say yes?” I nodded in confirmation, and Doug’s expression depicted a mix of relief and reluctance. He handed me the deed, and then he requested, “Do me a favor and don’t tell your mother I informed you about this place! Act like you found out about it on your own and demanded to keep it!”
I raised my eyebrows at this notion. “Why would I do that? Hold on… Did my mom tell you not to give me the house?”
“Uh… Attorney-client privilege!” Doug spouted.
“Oh, of course she doesn’t want me to own the house! She wants me to go broke and crawl back to my ex out of necessity, doesn’t she?” I scowled at that premise- how dare she! It was one thing to have opinions on how I should live my life, but it was another for her to actively take measures to control what I did! I was halfway tempted to run to the nearest pay phone and tell her off!
Doug assured me, “No, no! It was nothing like that! She forbade me from giving it to you because she said you had enough problems without this old shack adding to it!”
I didn’t totally buy his explanation, but I decided to drop it. Well, most of it- one aspect of his story needed clarification… “How come you decided to give it to me then?”
“Your grandmother explicitly instructed me to keep this property in the family. It was a tough choice between which lady’s wishes to grant, but I chose your mother’s mother in the end- it seemed so important to her!” He looked mystified by this reminiscence, but he eventually shrugged it off and verbalized, “Well, if you need anything, you know where to reach me!” He thrust the keys into my hands and rushed off as if he were trying to avoid hearing that I had changed my mind.
“Wow! It’s hard to believe you’re mine!” I spoke out loud as I savored the sight of my newly acquired inheritance. It was the first piece of luck I had since I found Goldi Locks Hair Salon, and I couldn’t wait to explore the possibilities that this development would bring me!
An elderly woman across the street whispered to her friend, “Oh, look! She’s talking to herself! The house is already making her bonkers!” I shook my head, but I didn’t respond- I didn’t care what anyone else thought, this was going to be a blast!
I fully intended to live there, but obviously, it was going to need a lot of work first. I didn’t have a lot of funds for that sort of project, so I called upon my three besties for assistance. Days later, the four of us stood on the lawn staring at the Hecate House, and I couldn’t help but feel like I evoked the good old days! They really didn’t seem that different than when I knew them in high school! Beck had stubble on his chin and bags under his eyes, Sam lost his acne and gained a bit of a pot belly, and Sally now sported a bob cut and slightly muted clothing, but otherwise, they hadn’t changed at all! This was going to be so fun! Or, so I thought…
“It looks cute!” Sally determined after studying it for a minute.
“Thank you!” I reacted in relief. “Finally, someone who doesn’t view me as crazy for liking this!” Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the two elderly women across the street judgmentally discussing my decision, but I was less concerned about that since someone else shared my opinion.
Beck commented, “It’s so fly! Can I store my surfboards in the basement? I could have direct access to the beach for practice- it’ll be so dope!”
I informed him, “There is no basement! Grandma Lydia said she didn’t have one!”
“Then what room has those narrow windows on the floor?” Beck wondered.
“I have no clue!” I peered at them in perplexity. “I was never allowed to wander around the house when I visited as a kid.”
Beck acknowledged my rationale, “That’s fair!”
One of the elderly women across the street heckled us, “You’re too scared to go in, aren’t you?”
“Afraid that the ghosts will get you?” the other elderly woman mimicked her friend’s move. “You won’t act so brave when you hear all the moaning and groaning!”
“That’s preposterous!” Sam accosted them. “Supernatural entities are a figment of a societal narrative concocted to cover up general ignorance on a topic! The only moaning and groaning from this house will stem from Sally’s dates!”
Sally responded to Sam, “Only after Penny has a chance to christen it!” She turned to me and let me know, “I have a race car driver I could set you up with! He’s a bit too fast for my tastes…”
Sam puzzled, “Aren’t race car drivers supposed to be fast?”
Prior to her explaining what she meant to say, I recommended, “Let’s get cracking on those repairs!” We all headed inside and ignored the elderly women jeering about how we would be sorry.
The outside was messy, but it looked clean compared to the interior! The tiled entrance hall was full of dust and debris, and the plaster corners were loosened or missing in some parts. The sweeping staircase had a railing with gaps in it, and the wooden floorboards were becoming disconnected and occasionally buckled under our feet. The fireplace had a bird’s nest in it, and the antique furniture was riddled with cobwebs. Thankfully, my besties weren’t the type to fear a challenge! “Where do we begin?” Sally canvassed us.
“Perhaps we should deal with the floor so that none of us gets buried alive in the foundation, which probably also needs sprucing up,” Sam propositioned.
“Negative, me amigo!” Beck disagreed. “We need to rewire this crib first ‘cause that’s a possible fire hazard. Besides, if we fell through the floor, we’d land in the basement just fine!”
I repeated myself, “There’s no basement!”
Beck looked a bit confused, but he let the issue go. “Okay! We’re gonna have to tear down some walls!”
“With pleasure!” Sally held up a sledgehammer with a fairly gleeful smile.
“… So then, my colleague tried to utilize the Poincaré Conjecture with a two-dimensional topological manifold! Can you believe that?” Sam snorted while he giggled at that notion.
Sally buzzed, “Was any of that English?”
I conversed, “I was gonna ask if the space station had any openings, but somehow, I don’t think I could keep up with the water cooler talk!”
“I can’t finish this here. Where’s the entrance to the basement?” Beck quizzed me.
“There is no basement!” I reiterated.
Beck asserted, “Why do you keep saying that? These wires clearly go to another level!”
My brows furrowed at that concept. “There’s a basement? Why would Grandma Lydia say there wasn’t one if there is?”
“Ooh! I bet there’s a secret entrance somewhere!” Sally inquisitively cried out.
“There’s no secret entrance!” I refuted her statement. “She… probably has a door somewhere that she didn’t tell us about!”
Sam observed, “There’s light behind this bookshelf!”
We flocked to the site he referenced, and I squinted into a crack, hoping to discover nothing more than a wall for my grandmother’s sake. I didn’t want to have her get proven a liar! To my alarm, I beheld a window lighting up a small bit of tiled floor overlooking a stairwell going downwards! I exclaimed, “There is a basement! Why would my grandma want to hide this?”
New Trouble, Chapter 1
October 1996: Debris surrounded me on the street! I stood there with my light beige skin covered with patches of smudge, my Rachel cut frazzled and frayed, and the cute spaghetti-strap dress that perfectly sculpted my curvy body was singed! The white t-shirt I wore beneath it was now slightly gray, and my golden-brown eyes were etched with red lines, although that had very little to do with the chaos that just ensued! Still, it added to the whole mess thing I had going on at that moment! When I finally got over the shock of it all, I glanced around, and I saw a skeleton dismantled in front of me! That scared the heck out of me until I realized that someone’s Halloween decoration had drifted out of their yard! How did I get here? Well, that’s an interesting story…
December 1964: It all started in the second grade. My teacher let me pick out a book to take home, and I became entranced by one with a picture of a ballerina on the cover! As I thumbed through it, I viewed bright lights, flowy costumes, and props that may as well have dropped straight out of a fairy tale, and I fell more and more in love with the world of stage! Suddenly, I knew my calling- I had to get involved in that world! When I got home, I was excited to share this insight with my mom, but to my surprise, my mom definitely didn’t share my excitement over the matter! Actually, her exact words were, “Penelope Lydia Alexander! You get that nonsense out of your head! Artists don’t make a lot of money, and they don’t get steady work! If you must pick a career, at least pick something safer to do!” I didn’t understand the hostility of her response, but I complied and told her I’d grow up to be a business person like my dad. That satisfied her, but not me! It sounded boring, and I wanted a life full of adventure! Boy, would that wish get granted thirty-two years after I made it! But, more on that later…
High School 1971-1975: I swore I was going along with my mom’s insistence to strive for a “safe” career, but I didn’t take a single business-related course! My mom didn’t care much, surprisingly enough! I gathered that she figured I’d give up any job ambitions after I got married off, and I thought that mindset was horribly old-fashioned, but I didn’t argue with it because she allowed me to pick an elective related to stagecraft! I tried Dance for a semester, but it turned out that I had no rhythm! It was bad, I think the instructor was super relieved when I requested to transfer! The Acting class was doing more advanced projects, and I wouldn’t have had time to catch up with my peers, so the school invited me to try Tech Theatre. That decision changed my life forever!
Something people don’t realize about theatre is what a collaborative collective it is! They need science-minded individuals to do the lights and electrical work, mathematicians to make the blueprints of the set, and mechanically-minded folks to build the sets, and I befriended a representative from all categories!
Beck Hamilton was a walking California stereotype! He had a wavy, platinum blonde mane, eyes as blue as the neighboring ocean, and a glazed expression that one gets when they spend a little too many minutes dancing with Mary Jane, if you know what I mean! He even surfed on the weekends! He wasn’t as airheaded as others assumed though- well, not all the time, anyways! He was a whiz with electronics, and he immersed himself so much into his work that sometimes he would forget everything else in the room, even pretty girls! He was also sweet and as supportive as could be! I adored talking to him… except when he was knee-deep in wires!
Sam Gellar was a math nut, nd you could tell merely by looking at him! His russet face was littered with pimples, his thick, black glasses were held together with tape, and his hairdo had a slightly angular appearance to it. He was a geek through and through, but the cool thing about him was that his feathers were never ruffled when kids teased him about it! He was very proud of his nerdiness, and his smarts came in handy when I needed help with my geometry homework, which was a lot! Math was never my strong suit!
Sally Adams was our resident goth. She had jet-black locks with bangs that partly covered her pale complexion, and she exclusively wore dark colors, including her makeup! She enjoyed history and poetry, and her scowl intimidated everyone she met! Well, not everyone- she was a magnet for members of the opposite sex! She was also talented at constructing beautiful structures, and she was a great person to seek advice from!
I suppose they were all kind of stereotypical archetypes! Wait, did I embrace one too? I can’t come up with any… Whatever! On the surface, we all appeared very different, but we complemented each other perfectly! We became best friends, and we stuck together even after graduation! Which was fairly remarkable considering what separate paths we took in adulthood!
College 1975-1979: I stayed in Adonis Beach to get my degree- I wanted to go to LA to do acting work in between classes, but my parents were paying my tuition, so… rats! It wasn’t as though our island never got any film work, but it wasn’t nearly as much as Southern California! Occasionally, I took a ferry to Monterey to do a gig, but I didn’t often have time for that with all my stupid Business classes! Then, something else came along that took up the rest of the space on my schedule…
I met Ned Caspar in a Geology class. What does geometry have to do with business? Nothing! But the university made me take a science course, and I thought learning about rocks would be easy! It wasn’t! However, I got paired with Ned as a lab partner, and he made it easier! He was kind of nice, and eventually, I could tell he was becoming very interested in me. I was going to reject him, but my mom convinced me to give him a shot. He was handsome and kind, but I didn’t feel any sparks between us. My mom said, “Sparks are dangerous! They cause fires!” I came to the conclusion that a love that gets your heart pumping wildly wasn’t a thing that transpired in real life. He invited me to his family’s country club for dinner, and I reluctantly said yes, and he never left my side ever since!
The 1980s: After we got our Bachelor’s degrees, we moved in together. Ned was busy doing his internship at the hospital, and I spent most of the time taking care of the house. Who would’ve thought that little hovel needed so much maintenance! Once he finished interning, we got married. I spent the entire eighties being his wife! That’s pretty much all I did. He did his residency and other medical school stuff, and since his parents paid our rent, all I had to do was the typical housewife stuff- cook, clean, and when I got a spare moment, I sat on the couch eating Bonbons while watching daytime television. It’s not exciting, but I was well provided for, so I couldn’t complain, right?
Well, I didn’t air my grievances out loud anyway! That short, curly perm I got should have been the worst part of that decade, but for me, it was the boredom. I didn’t want to feel ungrateful for not having to do anything with my business education, but it was like… is this it? Every day, I went through the same dull routine and had the same dull conversations with the same dull husband, and it drove me crazy! It was like my whole life was planned out for me! I was able to do a play here and there, but Ned never understood my fascination with that. He preferred a quiet night at home, and I preferred to go on a thrilling expedition! But the days went by, and no such opportunity arose, so I figured I ought to accept my humdrum lifestyle! I knew a lot of people envied what I had, so I had to shut those negative thoughts up and practice gratitude, didn’t I?
January 1990-September 1995: Ned became an anesthesiologist, and he spent a lot of extra shifts at the hospital when he got called for emergencies. I didn’t mind because I would rather have had our place to myself! I don’t imagine that Ned ever became aware of my true feelings toward him- well, except once… We were watching an episode of The Golden Girls, and when Blanche was trying to set Dorothy up with a date, she said, “I could give you an anesthesiologist! But, you won’t feel anything!” I laughed way too hard at that, and for a second, he got suspicious! I was prepared to spend the rest of my life like this, until…
October 1995-September 1996: I went to a quaint little cafe in the downtown area, and I drank some hot cider in the outside seating area. Orange leaves were blowing around in the cool breeze, and I savored the cozy feeling of Autumn. I always loved Fall, and… Oh! Maybe that was my stereotype! Obsessed with sweater weather! Anyways, I was positively enamored by the scenery, and then suddenly, it hit me- I was more turned on by this setting than my husband! I began to panic- here I was inching closer and closer to middle age, and I hadn’t felt love like this before! In July of 1997, I was turning forty, and half my life would have been wasted without knowing true happiness! That seemed insane! So, I had a difficult decision to make…
Okay, so it wasn’t that difficult! I made my choice, but how to tell Ned about it was hard! I wasn’t in love with him, but I hated to hurt his feelings! I thought about how to do it for days, and then one day during dinner, he asked me if I wanted more mashed potatoes, and I blurted out, “No! I want a divorce!” Whoops! Not exactly tactful! To my astonishment, he didn’t become as heartbroken as I anticipated! Actually, he didn’t believe that I was serious, not even during our court date! He couldn’t believe I would choose a meager life over a marriage with him, and he seemed quite convinced I would return to him one day! I vowed never to let that happen!
My family, especially my mom, thought I was crazy for doing this, and maybe they were right, but I didn’t care! I was finally free! I could live my life the way I wanted- even if you don’t have much, there’s a certain liberty in making your own choices about your lifestyle! Maybe it looked nuts to some people that I chose a dinky, studio apartment over the manor my ex-husband bought with his doctor salary, but I thought it had coziness and a pleasant atmosphere! The neighborhood was a bit dated, but I liked its history! My grandmother, Lydia, grew up near where I now resided, and I always loved the architecture as well as the story behind the ancestors who lived there! There were so many unique shops and places to hang out too, including Goldi Locks- a hair salon! The owner, Kitty, was the perfect mix of wise and fun, and while most folks her age retired, she refused to bow to societal pressure and continued to do what made her happy, which was so inspirational to me. She was also a great shoulder to cry on when I went to a failed audition. I got enough money from the divorce settlement that I didn’t need to get a job, and everything was perfect…
Or was it? A year later, I saw my savings dwindling further and further, and I realized that I was going to go broke if I didn’t earn an income soon! I hated the concept of devoting my days to a position that didn’t align with my goals, but I hated the concept of crawling back to my ex or my family even more, so I bit the bullet and sent my resume to as many spots as I could find! The trouble was I hadn’t worked a real job since high school, and most employers looked down on a twenty-year gap! Which wasn’t fair! It wasn’t like I wasn’t working in that period! Have you tried scrubbing the toilet after my idiot husband ate dairy? He was a doctor; he knew what lactose intolerance meant! Hiring teams didn’t see it that way, and I was starting to get worried. I prayed for a miracle…
October 1996: I was sitting on my futon trying to sew a hole in my pantyhose up, and I was getting frustrated because my stress was making me rip more holes in it! The phone rang, and I howled in aggravation as I punctured the fabric once more. After I chucked the pantyhose across the room, I glanced at the Caller ID, and I was in such a foul mood that if a telemarketer had been on the other line, I was going to scream and get an emergency trim with Kitty immediately! To my shock, it was Doug Bravo! My curiosity piqued- my parents’ attorney never contacted me! Were they suing me for something? No, that would’ve been dumb since I didn’t have much money! I picked up the receiver and hesitantly spoke, “Hello?”
Doug notified me, “We’ve gotta talk…”
I met with him in his posh but comfy office, and I couldn’t help but feel nervous! With my luck as of lately, I predicted more bad news! It stunned me to see he was actually fairly nervous himself! He awkwardly asked me, “Hey, Penny! How’s your day going?”
“Oh! Fine, I guess! I was just sewing my pantyhose before I got here.” I stared at him questioningly- what could he have possibly wanted to tell me that got him so on edge?
“Why don’t you just buy more?” Doug inquired. “They only cost a few bucks!”
I replied, “Yes, but if I constantly have to replace them, then it adds up!”
Doug insisted, “But it’d save you time, and time is valuable! It’s the only thing you can’t get back if you waste it, so-!”
“Did you invite me here to critique my fashion choices?” I didn’t want to sound rude, but I also didn’t want to needlessly spend a lengthy stretch getting lectured on not needlessly spending lengthy stretches!
“No! I…” He took a deep breath, and then he revealed, “You’ve inherited the Hecate House!”
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 24
“You’re all under arrest for the murder of our president!” a police officer announced after he and several of his colleagues manifested on the rooftop.
“Just ‘cause no one is sorry he’s dead doesn’t mean we’re murderers!” Adlen argued.
The police officer dismissed her argument, “That’s for the courts to decide! Now, please go in voluntarily or-!”
Rebekah hollered, “What are you doing? Would you really punish the victims of that tyrant’s cruelty?”
“We’re merely doing our jobs!” the officer quarreled.
“My dad was a policeman too, and he died doing the right thing because sometimes there are things more important than employment!” Rebekah attempted to sway them.
Some of the police officers shifted guiltily, but the main policeman remained unmoved. “Sorry, sweetheart! We have a duty we must do! Speaking of which, we didn’t forget that you Resistance members were sentenced to death! We’re here to execute you via firing squad!”
The protestors objected, but Rock advised them, “We’ll be fine! You’d better clear out for your own safety, though!”
“Psh! You really think you have a fighting chance against us?” the main police officer scoffed.
“Well, we’re about to fight you and find out!” Riley retorted.
As soon as the last protester left the rooftop, the main policeman fired an incantation at the Resistance, but they blocked him. The Resistance was outnumbered, but they were able to hold their ground. Slowly, more and more Resistance members trickled in, and one by one, each officer was taken out. Eventually, a couple of them threw their hands up in surrender, and one of them proclaimed, “We’re out!”
The main police officer yelled at them as they fled downstairs, “Cowards! I’ll remember this when the rapture comes!”
Kierram disagreed, “No, you won’t!” He hurled a hex at him, and the police officer’s limp body got hurled off the ledge!
“Watch out!” Linda warned Phil as he moved positions to film the exit of the policemen. She pulled him out of the projectile’s path in the nick of time- the officer’s body nearly hit him!
“He almost got one more killing under his belt!” Phil darkly joked as he stared at some of the fallen Resistance members on the rooftop. “You think it’s over?”
Linda determined, “Not a chance! Keep filming!”
Emorick called out, “Alright, Abigor! You cowardly bastard! Your pawns didn’t beat us, so come out and face us already!”
“I thought you’d never ask!” Abigor leered as he appeared alongside Briar, Maqbool, and several other henchmen. “This time, your little buddy, Toraz, isn’t here to save you!”
“Wanna bet?” José rejoindered. Abigor’s brows furrowed at that notion, but when José sent out a spell, his focus instantly snapped back into place.
The combatants were easily divided, but the Resistance had a bit of a disadvantage since a lot of their energy got depleted in the first round of hostility. This gave Briar an ego boost, and as she targeted Naama, she taunted her, “Sorry, Badiya Needya! You can’t bellydance your way out of this one!”
Briar emitted a curse at her, but Naama did the splits, which not only aided her in dodging that attack but knocked Briar to the ground! Naama disputed her claim, “Yeah, actually! I can!” Briar tried to fend Naama off, but she was too late- Naama took her down in a completely different way!
Linda and Phil had to dodge beams of light, daggers, and all sorts of trajectories. Phil had to push Linda to the floor at one point, and when Linda got back up, she verified with him, “Still worth it?”
Phil confirmed, “Still worth it!”
Maqbool faced Charlene, and he managed to nick her in the ankle. As she writhed in pain, Maqbool laughed, “Too much for you, princess?”
“Sir, she is a queen, and don’t you go and rile her up!” Franklin warned him. As Maqbool’s attention was briefly pulled away, Charlene struck him with a debilitating shot! Maqbool grunted from pain, and Franklin remarked, “Told ya!” Maqbool grimaced prior to collapsing.
“Rafeneita? Where are you?” Gwynivara yelled out after she defeated another opponent. “Too scared to join your friends? If you can call them that- they’re only loyal to you ‘cause you force them into it! Nobody loves you- doesn’t that bother you?” She scoured the entire perimeter, but she didn’t see her anywhere. At least, she didn’t until something by the docks in the distance caught her eye… A female’s silhouette was seen rushing towards a boat, and Gwynivara gasped, “She’s escaping!”
Abigor espied her distraction, and he sneered in a spiteful manner. “Perfect!” He prepared to jinx her, but then…
After moaning in agony, Abigor realized he had been stabbed in his spinal cord! Bernadette strolled up to his line of sight and articulated, “Man, I hope this is the last time that I, or anyone else, has to do that!” Abigor wanted to give her a defiant reaction, but he wound up passing out instead!
Gwynivara couldn’t tell for certain whether the female figure was her greatest adversary or not, but her instincts indicated that it was her. She didn’t comprehend why she would choose such a primitive form of transportation, but her gut goaded her into getting to that boat immediately! Rafeneita was far enough away that there would’ve been no possible method of getting to her before it was too late… unless… It was a reckless idea since it hadn’t worked in the past, but the situation was far too dire not to take drastic action! She closed her eyes, and…
“You!” Rafeneita snarled when Gwynivara appeared in front of her path. She observed her startled visage, and she jeered, “So, you finally learned to teleport! Gosh, it took you long enough!”
“Disappointed, hun?” Gwynivara cast aside her astonishment over this accomplishment and addressed her in a bold fashion. She realized what had to be done at this juncture, and she wasn’t about to show her an ounce of fear! “You can’t avoid this fight, Rafeneita!”
Rafeneita cackled, “I wasn’t planning on riding this thing! Your parents are in this vessel! That’s right, I figured it out! Did you really believe that I wouldn’t discover that they were here? I’m going to obliterate them, and I’m going to make you watch their demise before you experience your own!”
Gwynivara’s blood boiled upon hearing this pronouncement. Rafeneita raised her arms up to strike, but Gwynivara used all of her might to push the boat out of danger. The dark magic missed as the boat sailed away at top speed, and Rafeneita became quite vexed until she saw Gwynivara’s status. The rooftop foray, the teleportation, and that latest incantation was starting to drain her, and Rafeneita’s lips curved into a malicious grin. “So much for your heroism!”
Gwynivara was horrified to realize she had almost no energy left! She probably could have mustered enough up to deliver a fatalistic blow to Rafeneita, but she could only do it if she had no obstruction to her. She couldn’t defend herself with a spell, and Rafeneita obviously would act in self-defense, so she couldn’t fathom how to bring about this ultimate conjuration. Rafeneita sent out several hexes, and all she could do was dodge them. She wouldn’t be able to do it for that much longer, and Rafeneita was already becoming rapturous over this. Gwynivara prayed that this wouldn’t be how it ended for her…
“Not today, hag!” Kierram vociferated as he hurled a jinx at her. It nearly got her, but she was able to recover quickly and rather handily fended him off.
“We’ve got your back, kiddo!” Emorick exclaimed as he and Rock saw her close to collapsing. They joined Kierram’s efforts, but Rafeneita was still able to ward off her foes. Bernadette raced in with Riley, but Rafeneita could still take them on! Charlene and Franklin entered into the proximity, but they weren’t able to make a dent in her defenses! José, John, Naama, Niqun, Rebekah, and Cody arrived soon, but Rafeneita didn’t lose her edge! Gwynivara could hardly keep her lids open, and Rafeneita malevolently crowed, “You all forget that I’m a decorated warrior on my planet! Do you not grasp that I have faced a dozen soldiers before? I prevailed then, and I’ll prevail now! Your mission will have been in vain- I’m about to conquer you and the rest of Earth! Say your last words!”
Gwynivara wasn’t about to let Rafeneita deliver a fatal blow to any of the Rebels! She had been through a lot with them, and they became like a family to her, so she couldn’t stand to see them suffer. She had no clue how she could help them though in her weakened state. She became desperate for strength, and remembering how it came through in drastic junctures in the past, Gwynivara grabbed the orb from her pocket and beckoned it, “Please, save them!” Nothing happened at first, but then…
The orb glowed bright, and Gwynivara felt lighter as a white enveloped her. She soon found herself floating above everyone, and her altered condition finally caught Rafeneita’s attention. Her face fell, and Gwynivara’s voice sounded ethereal as she responded to Rafeneita’s enquiry, “No! You say yours!” Gwynivara swiftly conjured a luminous ball between her palms, and she thrusted it at Rafeneita. Rafeneita tried to dive away from it, but a part of it still nipped her! She fell to the floor, and as Gwynivara gently touched back onto the grass, she noticed that Rafeneita was no longer moving…
“Is she…?” Niqun posed to the others.
“I wish Susie was here! She’d know!” John wistfully expressed.
Rock apprised the gathered, “Someone has to do it…” Nobody volunteered initially, but eventually, Emorick tiptoed toward her limp form. Rock accompanied him for backup, and Emorick slowly reached his fingers toward her throat…
Abigor abruptly materialized next to her! Emorick and Rock immediately jumped back, and everyone was ready to resume their strife. Abigor wrapped a weak arm around Rafeneita, and he was evidently using his last ounce of vigor to teleport them out of there. Preceding their disappearance, Gwynivara distinctly saw Rafeneita’s eyes fly open! “She’s still alive!” Gwynivara reported.
“So, this isn’t over?” Franklin surmised.
“It is for you!” Kierram informed the Resistance. “Neither of them are in any condition to fight again, and by the time they recover, they won’t be welcomed back in Baltasund!”
Charlene dismally disputed, “Maybe! It’s our word against theirs…”
Linda and Phil walked over to them, and Linda proudly proclaimed, “Actually, people can judge the truth for themselves!”
“It’s over? For real?” Franklin stood in disbelief for a moment, but soon he fell to his knees and rejoiced, “Hallelujah! Thank you, sweet Lord!”
“We did it!” Charlene celebrated. She scooped Franklin up, and she gave him and Rock a tight squeeze.
Rock peered at the Rebels, and he sympathized, “Oh! It’s not done for you, is it? Not ‘til she’s out of our world for good?”
Emorick sagely verbalized, “Evil will never truly be at bay, but at least it can get vanquished for a while! Thank you for all of your assistance!”
“Thank you for yours! You set us free, and we’ll never be able to repay you for this!” Rock gave Emorick a hug, and soon the Resistance mimicked that move with the rest of the Rebels as well as Linda and Phil. When Rock got to Gwynivara, he praised her, “You’re one powerful person! I hope you never forget your potential!”
“I’ll try not to!” Gwynivara smiled humbly as she received more adoration from her peers. She was ecstatic that she garnered the ability to bring this occasion into fruition, but her heart panged as she gazed out onto the ocean. She could only hope that wherever her parents went, they were safe. She crossed her fingers that it wouldn’t take long before they were reunited once more!
At the Great Dismal Falls Airport, Susie along with Cedric and Easton were waiting for them at the tarmac with a bunch of other Rebels and Director Kinley. The crowd heartily greeted them, and Susie asserted, “Thanks for surviving! We missed you guys!”
Cedric announced, “Drinks are on me!”
“Ugh! No more liquor! We got enough booze from happy Baltasundians! Not that I illegally drank anything…” Cody’s pupils darted in a nervous movement.
“Justin!” Riley sped over to the arms of a handsome cop, who appeared overjoyed to be with him again. They passionately kissed, and Riley suggested, “Let’s go on a fishing trip!”
With a perplexed visage, Justin puzzled, “I thought you hated those!”
Riley let him know, “I’ve changed my mind! A lengthy bout of quiet sounds heavenly right now! Long story! Luckily, we’ll have plenty of hours to discuss it!”
“And, what’s this?” Easton picked up Gwynivara’s left hand, which now sported a beautiful, ornate ring.
“It was my mom’s,” Kierram filled them in. “I promised myself if we were alive at the end of this, I’d give it to her!”
Gwynivara cautioned them, “Don’t get too excited yet- we can’t get married for a while! Not until Rafeneita’s gone forever!” Her peers seemed slightly disappointed at the lack of haste to this event, but they were still excited at the prospect of it occurring one day.
Everyone beamed at the entire scenario, and after a couple of minutes of reveling, Director Kinley asked, “Are you all ready to go home?”
A streak of green anger pierced Gwynivara’s vision. She expected Rafeneita to become overwhelmed by acrimony from this loss, but she was surprised to view Rafeneita gazing at a planet far away in the galaxy. It looked like it was on the brink of destruction, so Rafeneita would only grow more and more brazen from viewing its continually worsening spectacle. It wasn’t going to be long before she resurfaced, but Gwynivara shook this concept off. Every second was precious, and they had to savor it while they still could! She ultimately answered Director Kinley, “Yes, we are!”
The entire lot grinned from ear to ear, and they prepared to make merry as often as possible while they still could!
The End
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 23
“There’s someone here, isn’t there?” Lucretia called out into the shadows. No one responded, so she shouted, “Whoever cut out the lights, you’re not being funny! You’re interfering with official government business, and I will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law! Stop this game right now! You can slow me down, but you’re not gonna prevent me from doing my job! I will-!” She peered outside, and someone used a wrench to knock her out!
“Whoever you are, tell us: are you friend or foe?” Emorick answered.
Two people briskly ran in, and one of them held a flashlight to watch their steps. When they got closer, they illuminated themselves, and a man who looked a lot like Gwynivara answered Emorick, “Neither! We’re family!”
Gwynivara nearly fainted! Her pulse quickened, and her heart raced as she faced their saviors. She never could have fathomed running into them again, and standing in their presence seemed too good to be true! She could hardly speak, but when she did, she managed to croak out, “Dad? Mom?”
“Hi, sweetie!” Gwyinvara’s mom beamed at her. “We’re here to rescue you!”
“How did you even know I was here? How did you get here?” Gwynivara questioned as her brain still strove to comprehend this development.
Gwynivara’s dad briefed her, “We’ve been hiding in Baltasund this whole time! Father Liridona told us you had to escape from Summerland, and we got some police radios to make sure you were safe!”
Her mom reminded her dad, “Erkin! We don’t have much time to explain!”
“Right!” Erkin’s attention snapped back into place, and as he fiddled with the locks, he illuminated them, “We disabled the electronic reinforcements, so it shouldn’t be hard to…” The enclosure door became ajar, and he addressed his wife, “Charlotte, can you light their path so they can leave quickly?”
“Thank you so much, Mister and Missus Wallace!” Emorick gratefully shook their hands. “As much as we would love for you to join us…”
Charlotte asserted, “It’s okay! We don’t have Venenatus Sanguis, and we’re not safe with you! Really, it’s okay! We’ll hide out… somewhere else until you defeat Rafeneita!”
Kierra recommended, “You may wanna stick around the island a little longer… We’ll defeat Rafeneita soon, and you’ll have a wedding to attend!” He put his arm around Gwynivara, and Gwynivara blushed.
“Go save the world!” Charlotte affectionately tousled his hair.
“I don’t wanna leave you!’ Gwynivara embraced them tightly. It seemed so unfair to finally reunite with her parents only to say goodbye again so soon!
Erkin stated, “If you don’t, we’ll never be together again! You have a future to fight for!”
Gwynivara tearfully tore herself from their arms. “You’re right! I love you guys so much!”
Charlotte bittersweetly expressed, “We love you, too! Now, go!”
It was difficult to depart, but Gwynviara tried hard to let this fresh grief fuel her in their quest. She wanted to save humanity as a whole, but it was especially important now for her so she could save her family from a terrible fate!
They ran as far from the building as they could. After a minute or so, they came across a large protest. Participants were virulently angry, and Riley denoted, “Well, at least we blend in with the crowd!”
“We have to go back to the bunker!” Naama exclaimed.
“We can’t all go at once!” Charlene articulated. “But we can’t stand outside as a large group like this either! Eventually, those bastards will find us and capture us all over again!”
Franklin pondered, “So, what do we oughta do? Split up?”
Rock concluded, “That may be our only option here! We’ll have to meet up again, but…”
“Hey! Look at that!” Bernadette pointed to the rooftop where a helicopter landed. Lucrum rushed toward it, but a woman with a flash of green skin used an incantation to prevent the helicopter from taking of. “She’s right there!”
“Well, that answers the question of what to do!” Gwynivara declared.
Lucrum bellowed, “Look, I tried! I tried to do what you wanted, I tried to fix the problems it created, and it only made things worse! My own citizens wanna murder me, so I can’t stay!”
Rafeneita seethed, “So, you’re taking the coward’s way out?”
“I’m not a coward!” Lucrum argued. “I simply value my life, which is the only reason I agreed to help you in the first place! Besides, I’m not leaving forever- President Castro agreed to house me ‘til things cool down! Let my VP clean up this mess! I’m done!”
“You are not done until I say you are!” Rafeneita barked. “We have a lot of work to do, and…!” She glanced at the rooftop entrance, and she got an alarmed look on her face. “She’s here!”
Lucrum’s brows furrowed. “Who?”
Rafeneita commanded, “Fade!”
“Fade? Why?” Lucrum puzzled as she teleported out of the area. Lucrum remained utterly confused until he saw Gwynivara as well as the other Rebels, Rock, Charlene, and Franklin run into the vicinity. “Oh! It’s you!”
“Where’d she go?” Gwynivara demanded.
Lucrum folded his arms defiantly. “Away from here! Which is what I intend to do! Leave me alone!”
On the ground, Phil ignored his heavily bandaged noggin as he focused his personal camera on the rooftop. Linda apprised him, “This could get dangerous! Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“Does it seem like I’m afraid of danger to you?” Phil pointed to the dressings on his wounds.
“Alright! Let’s do this!” Linda stood before the camera and spoke to her audience, “We’re at the scene of an intense confrontation between the tyrannical president of Baltasund and the Resistance members he captured and sentenced to death! It appears as though that his prison’s security is as weak as the rest of his policies! He’s heavily outnumbered, but will he always be without backup? Yours truly is predicting a victory for the Resistance, but in case I’m wrong, this incident will be documented ‘cause his administration will undoubtedly lie about what transpired here! Now, I’m gonna step out of the frame so we can watch…”
Emorick spurred Lucrum, “Go ahead! Get out of here! We’re not gonna keep the worst leader in Baltasundian history stay where he’s not wanted!”
Lucrum spouted, “Don’t think that my leave is permanent! This changes nothing! My decisions stay in place, and I’m still in power! I’m returning one day, but you won’t! You’re still dying at dawn!”
“Uh-huh! Yeah! We’re real scared about that!” Kierram sarcastically verbalized.
“You’re not taking this seriously right now, but you will soon! Mark my words!” Lucrum avowed.
Bernadette pretended to yawn. “I’m sure we will!”
Lucrum became irate by their lack of emotions over his grim pronouncement, so he marched over ot them and roared, “You’re felons destined for a fatalistic fate edicted by one of the most powerful countries in the world! How can you act so calm and cool? Why aren’t you fearing for your lives? You’re behaving as though you are convinced you can win! You! This small group versus a nation with a strong military and law enforcement! How can you possibly have any assurance that you won’t lose and lose bigly?”
“How can you have any assurance that you won’t lose in the end?” Riley challenged him. “Even if you do beat us today, you’ll get beaten tomorrow when Rafeneita’s kind takes over the planet!”
“I’m too important to get cast aside! You’ll see… Wait, no, you won’t!” Lucrum laughed.
Rock retorted, “Weren’t you leaving?”
Lucrum huffed, “Yeah, I’m going!” He lumbered over to the helicopter, but then he turned around and leered, “There’s just one more thing I gotta do…” The Rebel and Resistance captains expected him to give them more guff, but to their shock, Lucrum swiftly shot an incantation at them! Prior to anyone getting to react to it, they got wrapped in an electric rope! “Ha! Not so cocky now, are you? I’ll be happy to carry out your death sentence! Goodbye, you no-good do-gooders!”
“It appears as though the stress of this situation has created a beast!” Linda narrated as a giant eagle threatened Lucrum. “Lucrum has been forced to turn his attention to defending himself, so the Resistance has bought some time. But, will it be enough to pull off a miracle?”
“We’ve gotta do something!” Phil cried out. “We can’t just watch them all get killed!”
Linda sighed, “It’s maddening, I know! But, what can we do? We don’t have Venenatus Sanguis, so we’d just get killed up there! All we can do is document the event…”
Phil couldn’t accept that as an answer, so he scoured the scenery as if something in his proximity would give him some advice. All of a sudden, he spotted the solution in the distance. “That’s not all we can do…”
At long last, Lucrum was able to subdue the creature that plagued him! As he stood up from achieving this feat, his matted hair and his torn, disheveled clothes made his mad grin give off a much more psychotic feel. Gwynivara felt helpless! The last instance they were in this situation, Kierram had interrupted the proceedings since he briefly separated from everyone, but with everyone together, she didn’t view ti as possible. The other members were busy fending off the guards within the Capitol, and she couldn’t even reach Nialla’s orb to get some assistance from the afterlife, so this was it! She couldn’t believe that after everything, this was how they were going to go out! She kicked herself for not being more careful around the enemy, but she cleared her thoughts and strove to contemplate positive memories during her final moments on this planet…
At that exact second, the rooftop door flew open, and scores of angry protestors teemed in! Lucrum fended some of them off, and some of them got hit, but many were able to dodge his advances. Adlen ducked out of the trajectory of a hex, and it hit the electric rope around the Rebels and the Resistance, which freed them from their confines! The protestors swarmed in several different directions, and he couldn’t continue his defense in multiple directions. He began to feel cornered, and when he beheld the Rebels and the Resistance unbound and marching toward him alongside others, he recognized that he was cornered! He hurried to the helicopter and ordered the pilot, “Move!”
The helicopter began to take off, but it was still low enough to the ground that the protestors were able to grab it! Enough of them clung onto it that their weight forced the helicopter back down. The protestors rushed into the vehicle, and Gwynivara yelled, “No! Don’t hurt him!” Nobody heeded her warning, and fists began flying! Emorick used a spell to remove his attackers, but when they were gone, they could see that Lucrum was no longer moving or breathing!
“Well, let’s hope Vice President Mammon isn’t a spineless shit weasel like his predecessor!” Charlene remarked with a degree of wariness as the denizens danced and celebrated this development.
“Golly! I’d have thunk this juncture would have felt a lot more joyful…” Franklin scratched his head in befuddlement. “Why doesn’t it feel more liberating?”
Gwynivara grimly relayed to him, “That’s ‘cause the battle isn’t over yet…”
Down below, Phil exhaled in alleviation, “Phew! It worked! I’m glad I spent so many shifts on the interview crew for this travesty! The protestors found them before tragedy struck!”
“Something’s wrong!” Linda observed. “The Resistance people seem so unsettled! What could they…? ”
“Yeah, something’s wrong!” Phil concurred with Linda. “The air suddenly got so heavy like a big storm’s coming in! It reminds me of when our troops were ambushed in Korea! But, you don’t imagine they…”
Linda affirmed, “They sense something too! They’re trying to clear the area! Keep filming!”
They watched as the Rebels and the Resistance attempted to evacuate the protestors, but something abruptly swept in that caused everyone to freeze….
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 22
“I have good news!” Susie announced as she took a seat with Cedric and Easton, among others, at a table where everyone was eating while reading.
Easton breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank God! We need a break from all this drama!”
Cedric pressed her, “What did you learn?”
“Mercury goes into retrograde today!” Susie dramatically revealed.
“Huh? What goes into the what now?” Cedric puzzled.
Susie became slightly exasperated that none of her colleagues understood the significance of this event, but she clarified it for them nonetheless, “Mercury is the planet of communication, and when it goes backwards aka retrograde, it causes a lot of disruptions in communication and technology as well as an increase in anxious energy and chaos!”
Easton gave her a peculiar look. “I thought you said you had good news!”
“Good things occur during this time, also!” Susie educated them. “When these problems arise, so do solutions and wisdom! It’s also a great time for the truth to be made known and corruption to get exposed…”
“So, this could be a bad period for Lucrum, too?” Easton surmised.
Susie chirped, “Exactly!”
Cedric and Easton still appeared skeptical, so a lady from a few seats down backed Susie up, “No, it’s true! The planets generate currents that affect us all! Plus, we have a full moon in Leo coming, which is a great time for observing the seeds that you’ve planted!”
“Ah! So, all of the effort our team has been putting into Baltasund should produce some fruit soon!” Cedric inferred.
“Yes! It’s written in the stars!” Susie confirmed. Easton and Cedric seemed slightly more convinced but not fully, so she added, “Listen, as a woman of science, I’m not much into astrology, but with how dark everything has been lately, I’m looking for light wherever I can find it!”
A man at the other end raised his glass in a toast. “To the planets aligning!”
The people at the table all chimed, “Here, here!” They clinked their glasses together, and they ignored the headlines in the newspapers in front of them depicting the dire straits of Lucrum’s decision to bump a lot of his citizens off of the public health system.
Rafeneita found Lucrum in a dark room watching television, and she huffed, “There you are! What in the hell are you doing here?”
“Have you seen what’s happening out there?” Lucrum changed the channel to a network that was showing a massive and infuriated protest outside of his office. “It’s not safe for me out there right now!”
“But, that’s exactly why you should be consulting your team!” Rafeneita hollered. “We need to strategize some methods that will help us clean up your mess!”
Lucrum blinked in astonishment. “My mess? I’m only acting out the policies my ‘team’ told me to do! And look what resulted from that! Balor Huxley cut a lot of jobs out of the federal government, and somehow we’re broker than ever! I’m losing allies! See! Even Balor Huxley is bad mouthing me ‘cause of this!” He switched the channel to show Balor Huxley giving a candid interview to a local anchor. “He wouldn’t act so high and mighty if the public knew what he did to sway the election! Maybe I should tell them…”
Rafeneita used an incantation to turn the TV off and then berated him, “Forget about him! Instead of seeking help from experts, you made a call on your own and got yourself into hot water! There were other remedies for the budget issue! Why did you take away healthcare?”
“I thought you’d be happy!” Lucrum defended himself. “You want to eliminate the human race, and this will get rid of a lot of them!”
“And you thought this was the best plan?” Rafeneita critiqued him. “Not many individuals can afford to buy their own insurance thanks to the crumbling economy, and you’re causing more victims to die of Venenatus Sanguis right after getting exposed as a carrier! Baltasundians are figuring out our plot thanks to your terrible policies! Furthermore, you can’t maintain power while hiding in a bunker! You need to take back your authority!”
Lucrum queried, “How do I do that?”
Rafeneita mulled that over for a moment, and then she edicted, “You know what, you don’t do anything! We need to fix this and fix it fast, so just leave this up to me!” She shot him a dirty look before storming out.
A middle-aged female with a tawny complexion woke with a start. She shook her still sleeping husband and prodded him, “Honey! Wake up! I heard something outside!”
“Are you sure?” her husband mumbled. “You could’ve just dreamt it.”
“It sounded so real, though!” the female insisted.
Her husband directed her, “Go back to sleep, Rosa! Lord knows you have enough trouble doing treasury work with a shoestring budget, so rest up and be ready for whatever fresh horrors Lucrum has in store for us tomorrow!”
Rosa laid back down, but she did not return to a slumber. She supposed that the noise she heard could have been as innocuous as the neighbor’s cat knocking over a trash can, but her mind raced like it was preparing for something much worse. She strove to relax, but she couldn’t turn off her fidgety muscles. She decided to get up and use the bathroom one more time before returning to a repose, but her feet had hardly touched the floor when…
Their dog began barking furiously downstairs! This time, Rosa’s husband bolted out of his sheets. “Alright, something’s definitely wrong!” he admitted as he dug into his nightstand’s drawer. “Gamba never gets this agitated unless it’s serious!” He pulled out a gun and headed out of the room.
With her heart beating wildly, Rosa followed her husband into the living room. They saw her golden retriever snarling at something in the backyard, and Rosa’s husband kept his gun brandished as they tiptoed toward the kitchen. There didn’t appear to be anyone there at first glance, but once Rosa turned on the light, a young guy with a hoodie and sallow skin was standing by the sliding glass door with a glass bottle and a wicked grin!
“Rosa, call nine-one-one!” her husband advised her.
“The police aren’t gonna help you!” the guy leered. “Nobody’s coming!”
Sidestepping her husband, Rosa went into the kitchen so she could look that punk straight in the eye. “What are you talking about?”
The guy maliciously informed her, “President Lucrum is pulling funding from the cops, and they refuse to work for free!”
“Um, excuse me! I’m in charge of what does or doesn’t get funded in Port Righ, so you can’t fool me!” Roa definitely stated.
“Who’s fooling anyone? Vice President Mammon just told us that President Lucrum said this, so it probably came straight from the horse’s mouth!”
Rosa rolled her eyes. “Even if that’s true and he made a midnight announcement about his budget, it’s not gonna stop every officer from working! They’ll get back pay after the president unfreezes the budget! So, don’t think that you’re gonna get away with whatever shenanigans you’re planning here!”
The guy didn’t get deterred by this. “Vice President Mammon said if any of us get arrested, President Lucrum will pardon us! He’s done it once, he can do it again!”
“Why do you keep mentioning the vice president?” Rosa probed. “Can’t Lucrum speak for himself?”
“He’s hiding from you Democrats, but we’re getting revenge by making sure you can’t hide anymore!” The guy raised the bottle in the air.
Rosa sputtered, “What…? What are you doing? Why do you…?”
The guy dropped the bottle, and suddenly, the entire rear perimeter caught on fire! Rosa grabbed Gamba and shouted to her husband, “Go!”
They exited the house at exactly the right instance- the entire structure became engulfed by flames! With tears forming in her eyes, Rosa wondered, “How could anyone hate my politics enough to do this to me?”
Her husband gestured to the neighbors’ dwellings and let her know, “It’s not just you!”
The entire row of domiciles was ablaze! Some people managed to escape, but Rosa could tell that not everyone could! If that wasn’t maddening enough, the guy and several other hooded characters paraded in the street, and the guy who was stationed at Rosa’s house bragged, “This is our town now!”
“I don’t think so!” Gwynivara knocked him out to prevent him from interfering. The Rebels and the Resistance alike followed suit, and once the miscreants were incapacitated, they used an incantation to extinguish the infernos. “Phew! That was close to being a monumental disaster!”
“You saved us!” Rosa gratefully regarded them. Gwynivara swelled with pride upon receiving that accolade- it had been a while since they received that treatment! She was about to humbly respond to her assertions when…
Abruptly, the Rebels and the Resistance were surrounded by an electric forcefield! Kierram complained, “This again? It’s getting old to keep…! Wait! Didn’t they shut down the asylum?”
A police officer walked up to them and sneered, “That’s right! You’re in our hands now!” The officers all laughed maniacally as the Rebels and Resistance all lost consciousness…
“My fellow Baltasundians…” Lucrum regally greeted from the Capitol steps. “Baltasund is much safer tonight! We have captured the Resistance scum, and-!” The crowd loudly rebuked him, and Lucrum clearly didn’t expect that. “Boo? Why are you booing?”
“The rescued us from danger!” a member of the throng yelled.
Lucrum differed, “They started those fires in Port Righ!”
Someone corrected him, “No! The culprits were part of the violent criminals that you pardoned! They’re your people!”
“If they’re such heroes, then why did they try to kill me?” Lucrum challenged them.
“Because it was a damn good idea!” a person full of animosity bellowed. The masses endeavored to rush onto the stage, and the secret service held them back, but it was a battle they seemed destined to lose, so Lucrum escaped from the area.
Lucrum burst into Hadeon’s office, and Hadeon maintained his composure as he addressed him, “Sir?”
With his orange skin flushing red, Lucrum asked, “Where’s the Defense Secretary? Where’s the Transportation Secretary?”
“They all left, sir,” Hadeon answered him. “I assume they were scared by all of the… activity.”
“I need to find someone who can help me!” Lucrum seethed. “It’s not safe for me here anymore…”
Gwynivara raised her groggy head. She couldn’t tell who was around her, so she canvassed the space in general, “Where are we?”
Lucretia’s voice filled her in, “You’re in a prison cell… for now! At sunrise, you’ll be executed for treason!”
“You can’t do that!” Rock railed. “We haven’t even gone through the legal process!”
“Don’t lecture me about the law!” Lucretia denounced him. “I’m an expert in the field, and trust me, there’s a loophole for everything!”
She began to leave, so Bernadette called after her, “You spent your whole life dedicated to the justice system- doesn’t it bother you at all to devote your existence to abetting corruption?”
Lucretia paused in contemplation, and then she concluded, “I’m here at the will of the president! If I go against his wishes, I’ll wind up like you guys! I can’t do that!”
“So, you’d rather live a life of cowardice than listen to your conscious?” Emorick probed.
“I’m not living a life of cowardice!” Lucretia raged.
Kierram quizzed her, “Do you call this courage?”
Charlene consoled her, “Listen, I know you’re scared! It’s a frightening position to get put in! But, if you wanna prove you’re still brave, it’s not too late to do the right thing!”
“How do you want history to remember you?” Franklin posed to her.
“No one is gonna live to tell our history anyway!” Lucretia grimly pronounced.
Gwynivara riposted, “They will be if you step up! One small choice could turn into a catalyst that sparks a movement! You can’t be the only one who feels this way- so many of your colleagues wanna get out of this disaster, but they’re waiting for somebody else to do it first! You could start the evolution, and you won’t have to do it alone!”
Lucretia considered it for a minute, and then she decreed, “It’s too risky! I can’t! I’m sorry!” She intended to hurry out preceding anyone trying to change her mind again, but suddenly, the lights went out…
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 21
Gwynivara went down a narrow, concrete staircase, and when she got to the bottom, she viewed a shady outdoor seating area. The bartender opened a back door for her, and Gwynivara graciously regarded him, “Thank you so much for your hospitality! We-!” The bartender impatiently motioned for her to enter, so she hastily scurried inside.
As soon as the door was shut, the bartender barked, “Are you crazy? We don’t want anyone to know this place exists! A passerby could give away our secret, intentionally or not!”
“Sorry, Anselm!” Gwynivara apologized as she strolled through a large, empty room. Anselm pulled down a gas lamp in the corner, and a section of the wall slid out of sight, which revealed a bunker full of cots and canned goods! “Wow! This tavern is full of mystery! It reminds me of something out of a fairy tale!”
“The fairy tales in China were a bit different, I guess! I don’t think ours had this!” Niqun indicated to a crate of tear gas.
Anselm briefed them, “My father ran a speakeasy during the Prohibition days. We turned it into a bomb shelter during World War II.”
Cody articulated, “That would explain this!” He held up a pinup calendar from the nineteen-forties, and he ogled the woman featured on the cover in delight. Rebekah glared at him, and he cluelessly queried, “What?”
“Let a pro show you how it’s done!” Kierram opened the calendar to a random page, and he showed it to Gwynivara. “Her hair is all wrong! Wouldn’t she look much better with something that better framed her face?”
“Yeah, ‘cause it’s her hair you’re paying attention to!” Gwynivara smiled while rolling her eyes.
Kierram pretended to notice her torso for the first time, “Oh, she’s wearing a bikini! That’d look great on you, Gwyn!” Gwynivara laughed as she shook her head.
Anselm escorted Emorick inside and asked, “Is that everybody?”
“Yes, sir!” Emorick answered. “We can’t thank you enough for doing this!”
“Just doing my duty!” Anselm humbly asserted. “We’re fighting a battle to save the soul of Baltasund, and if this is what I’ve gotta do, then so be it! Just do me a favor and win this fight soon! A select group of individuals knew about this location back in the twenties, so it won’t remain hidden forever!”
Bernadette solemnly swore, “We’ll do our best!”
Anselm gave them a curt nod and closed the door as he exited. Franklin held up an old-fashioned can opener and recalled, “Hey! My grandpappy had one of these doohickeys!”
Everyone tittered, and then José canvassed the crowd, “Okay! So… now what?”
“Now, we rest and recoup!” Rock decreed.
“And then?” José prodded him.
Rock asserted, “We’ll figure that out later!”
José protested, “But, Anselm said we don’t have much time!”
“But we do have time!” Rock contended. “We not only fought an ugly battle, but we watched an innocent soul get taken from this earth! That’s a lot of stress to deal with by itself! Our brains can’t think of the best ideas when our thoughts are strained like that! We’ll give our minds a break, and once we’ve cleared out all the gunk, we can process things more clearly!”
“He’s absolutely right!” Emorick concurred. “We need to relax and reenergize! Try to do something to keep yourself distracted.”
Cody resumed perusing the pinup calendar, and when he caught Rebekah’s eye, he tried to deploy Kierram’s methodology, “Oh, look at her… shoes! They’re so… red!”
The Resistance members chortled, and Charlene took the calendar away. “Here! Try reading Huck Finn! You might learn something!”
“Oh, goody!” Cody pouted. The Resistance giggled once more.
“Linda Knucker?” A couple of police officers approached her as she was heading into a news studio.
Without pausing, Linda headed for the entrance and lackadaisically told them, “I dunno! That’s for you and my attorney to decide!”
They grabbed her arms prior to reaching the building and coldly stated, “You’re coming with us!” Preceding Linda getting to object, the police officers hauled her away.
In a cold space with an empty table, two chairs, and a wall with a window-like mirror, the police officers plopped a cuffed Linda into a sitting position. Linda observed, “There’s no telephone in here!”
“Of course not!” one police officer responded. “It’s an interrogation room- why would there be?”
“Because it’s my right!” Linda bellowed. “I have the right to an attorney being present during questioning!”
The second officer apprised her, “You’re not under arrest yet, so you may not need one!”
To Linda’s bewilderment, the two police officers began to vacate the premises. She shouted after them, “Wait! If I’m not getting charged with a crime, then why am I here against my will?” They ignored her as they shut the door, and Linda sat in the silent, nearly empty chamber alone for several long seconds…
“Good morning!” Invidia walked in with the bravado of a wolf cornering its prey.
“Invidia Sidero?” Linda puzzled. “Why in the hell am I getting forced to meet with the head of National Intelligence?”
After sitting like a queen across from her, Invidia shot back, “Since you became a threat to National Security!”
Linda gazed at her as though she had gone insane. “Why am I a threat? ‘Cause I’m damn good at my job? Sorry, sister! Journalism isn’t a crime!”
“First off, it’s Director to you!’ Invidia issued her a dirty look for that bout of disrespect. “Second, any profession can become criminal if a person crosses the line…”
“Uh-huh! I see! So, you’re accusing me of some sort of felony based off of something I did at work? Oh brother!” Linda sat in the most relaxed pose possible without having the ability to use her limbs to put herself in a more comfortable position.
It clearly irked Invidia to behold her aloof attitude, but she didn’t dare to air her grievances and further encourage this behavior. Instead, she affirmed, “Yes, Miss Knucker! For example, stealing classified material would be something you could have done on the jo to break the law!”
Linda scoffed at that notion, “Psh! That’s ridiculous! Where would I even get access to that kind of stuff?”
“That’s what I came to ask you!” Invidia held up a copy of the Vulpes Press article with the picture of Lucrum attacking Emorick and Gwynivara with Venenatus Sanguis. “This footage was not authorized to be released to the public! How did you get a hold of it?”
“I have my sources…” Linda cryptically relayed to her.
Invidia rather hostily uttered, “Hence why you’re not under arrest! Someone illegally obtained this photo, and we need to know who!”
Linda snidely inquired, “Why? ‘Cause they made your president appear in a negative light? More negative, I should say- he doesn’t exactly have the most solid reputation… That must be so frustrating for you! Tell me, how do you handle the stress that his job brings?”
“I’ll ask the questions around here!” Invidia snappishly replied. “This isn’t about him! There’s an individual out there violating the rights of patients’ privacy!”
“Lucrum wasn’t admitted yet! He was out in public, and he’s a public figure, so he was fair game!” Linda contended.
Invidia bickered, “The guilty party still took images from a private place and showed them with a foreign official- that could be considered espionage! This is a matter of Baltasundian security- you need to tell me who gave this photograph to you, or we’ll charge you with breaking into an unauthorized area, illegally obtaining confidential material, and treason!”
Linda debated her accusations, “You really believe that’ll hold up in court? You can’t even prove it came from the hospital! A witness may have had a camera handy…”
“Then, you’ll be able to tell me your sources!” Invidia gazed deep into her eyes and wordlessly commanded her to do her bidding.
“Even if I could tell you, I wouldn’t! As it is, it came to me anonymously, so…” Linda shrugged.
Invidia snapped, “You don’t have any clue who sent it to you?” Linda remained mute, and Invidia threatened her, “If you don’t tell me, I’m bringing you into custody!” Linda stayed tight-lipped, so Invidia barked, “Fine! Have it your way!”
Linda maintained her composure, her unshaken attitude, as the two police officers returned. “Now, can I have my lawyer?” The officers made a noise of annoyance as they slammed the door shut behind them.
“Abigor!” Lucrum shouted from his desk. Abigor didn’t promptly arrive, so Lucrum began to grow frustrated. “Abigor! Come here! …Now!”
“I’m here!” Abigor hugged the door frame and hoped that this distance would be suitable for their conversation.
Lucrum griped, “It’s about time! I’ve just got the report from Summerland, and they allegedly have no knowledge of the Resistance’s activities, so they can’t tell us where they may have gone or… What’s wrong with you?”
Abigor regaled him, “I got injured during my showdown with the Rebels, and Rafeneita only gave me half of her healing elixir since I botched the operation, according to her! Toraz got completely drained of Venenatus Sanguis, so how was I supposed to know he’d still be a threat? Holy shit! My back hurts so badly!”
“Can you sit down? You’re distracting me with your miserable stance!” Lucrum glimpsed at him with disgust.
“Sure!” Abigor peeled himself off of the siding and lumbered into the office. Each step gave him tremendous pain, so he took the minimal number of steps that he had to in order to comply with his demand. He made it to the chair by the fireplace and fell onto it like a limp rag doll.
Lucrum grumbled, “Oh, for Pete’s sake!” He stomped over to the entryway and slammed the door. He begrudgingly sat on the sofa across from him, and then he challenged Abigor, “We need to find thoe assholes before they ruin another one of our plans! Where did they run off to?”
Abigor reported, “No idea!”
“What do you mean ‘no idea?’ How do you not know? They were f’ing right in front of you!” Lucrum berated Abigor.
“I was a little distracted with trying not to die!” Abigor spat.
Lucrum clicked his tongue in irritation. “You seriously have no idea?”
Abigor winced, and then he stated, “They were in front of the Manumit Forest, but that doesn’t mean they stayed there! They could have gone to any part of the island from there!”
“Well, then you’ll have to have your men patrol on every street in every city in every county! I don’t care if you’ve gotta bang down every damn door- keep going ‘til one of you finds them!” Lucrum so ardently addressed Abigor that he didn’t care how much he was spitting when he talked.
“I can’t do that!” Abigor simply affirmed.
Lucrum’s brows furrowed at that concept. “Why not? Oh, is it more constitutional crap? Listen, don’t worry about that! If anyone arrests you, I’ll pardon you! Besides, it won’t be long until all societal norms are erased anyway…”
Abigor notified Lucrum, “I can’t send my men out! Or anyone’s men out really! We’re running out of funds, and no one is willing to work without payment!”
“Oh my god! We’re already running out of money? What do we do?” Lucrum mulled that over for a moment, and then he concluded, “I’ll just have to move money from somewhere else! What don’t we need? Oh, duh! I’ll stop funding healthcare for low-income families! We’re trying to spread Venenatus Sanguis anyways, so this will simply guarantee that we do that!”
“Sir, you can’t do that!” Abigor objected. “It’s political suicide!”
Lucrum was already at his desk again, getting the necessary paperwork out, and he did not quite hear all that Abigor said. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that!”
Abigor nearly repeated himself, but he held back. “I… I was just letting you know I’m gonna go to a clinic and get some pain medicine…”
“Fine! Go!” Lucrum permitted as he began scribbling some stuff down. Abigor braced the wall as he departed, and he prayed that Lucrum’s plan would fail so Rafeneita would hurry up and move on from this dead end!
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 20
It happened faster than anyone could react to it… Abigor sent an incantation to Toraz, and Toraz fell down in a pool of his own blood! The sight of this sinister spectacle rendered the witnesses so shocked that they couldn’t move, and it was hard for this horror to sink into their minds. It didn’t really register to anyone what had occurred until Abigor’s strained voice commanded, “Fade!” His men were still in a daze, but they hastily snapped into place and teleported out of there. Abigor scathingly addressed Gwynivara and the others, “Don’t get too comfortable- I’ll be back!” He vanished out of there, and it was only then that they saw the knife in his back!
Everyone rushed to Toraz’s side, and while he was still breathing, he seemed to grow weaker by the second. Niqun held him like a son, and Toraz faintly asked, “Did… Did I do good?”
“You did good, my friend!” Gwynivara answered with a warm smile. The last thing she felt like doing in that moment was grinning, but for the sake of allowing his last moments on this Earth to be joyous, Gwynivara strove to convey that his final act had not been in vain.
“Killian’s Taven!” Toraz croaked out.
Gwynivara puzzled, “Killian’s Tavern?”
Toraz nodded, and then most of the color faded from his skin. He stopped moving, and everyone’s hearts broke to see his demise. They stared at him solemnly, and as a few of them began to weep, a couple of priests approached them. One of them petitioned the pack, “Is everything alright? We heard such a commotion inside, and-!” He gasped when he spotted Toraz’s body. “Oh my goodness! Call Nine-One-One!”
“No!” Emorick bellowed. The authority in his tone made the priests pause, and Emorick briefed them, “This man sacrificed his life to save Baltasund, so he deserves a proper burial! The Lucrum administration would only regard him as a traitor, and Heaven knows what they’d do with his remains! Bury him here next to his mom!”
“That’s… Yes, alright! We’ll take care of him!” The priest turned to his peers and directed them, “Let’s get the oil and sage and at least give him a cleanse before putting him into his final resting place!”
A nun volunteered, “I’ll grab a shawl to wrap him in too!”
Rock informed the priest, “We thank you for your protection and hospitality, but we can’t stay here any longer. We’re sorry in advance if any evildoers hassle you!”
“We’ll say a prayer for your safety!” The priest patted Rock’s hand, and then Rock, Franklin, and the Rebels took off into the forest.
“Where are we going?” Rebekah posed to the others.
Riley responded, “Far from here! Who knows how long it’ll take for those S.O.B.s to recoup!”
Rebekah pressed him, “And after that?”
“We gotta find where everybody went,” Bernadette stated. “Once we’ve found them, then… Well…”
“Killian’s Tavern, obviously!” Kierram boldly asserted. Some of his fellow members appeared rather hesitant on that prospect, so Kierram challenged them, “What? Are we afraid he’d set us up for a trap at this point?”
José opined, “Killian’s Tavern seems significant, but.. When he said that he could tell us where Rafeneita is hiding, did anyone picture a bar?”
John brought up, “Maybe that’s the perfect cover! No one would dream that she’d go to a dank drinking hall, so she and her henchmen could easily hide there!”
“Or, maybe something else is hidden there that he wants us to find!” Naama theorized. “Maybe she stashed something important there that could bring her down! Or, maybe someone there knows something that could help us defeat her!”
“Hell, I’d settle for some ol’ bartender who would give us all a stiff drink!” Franklin remarked.
Cody pondered, “Are we positive something useful is waiting for us there? What if Toraz wanted to apologize to Rafeneita at the last minute and decided to send us there?”
Niqun shot back, “What would he stand to gain from that at this point?”
“Whatever scenario he envisioned, all signs indicate that we need to go to-!” Gwynivara started to decree.
“Hey, guys!” Charlene limped over on someone’s shoulder. She studied their visages, and she grew alarmed. “What happened?” Shouting emanated from the other side of the woods, so she queried, “Where are we going?”
Gwynivara canvassed the Resistance, “Does anyone know how to get to Killian’s Tavern?”
In a room full of dignified individuals, Lucrum gave a speech in a rather cocky manner, “…And that’s why we’re number one! We stopped being the world’s doormat! Thanks to my leadership, Baltasund is prospering better than ever! We…” He trailed off when the room shifted from confusion to mirth, and he awkwardly articulated, “I wasn’t making any jokes!”
“You said Baltasund was doing better than ever, but it’s never been in more dire straits!” a man with a placard that read “France” commented. “Unemployment is up, your stock market is plunging, and your citizens are dying of Venenatus Sanguis at an alarming rate!”
“Those are all lies!” Lucrum refuted. “Don’t believe what you hear on the regular news networks- they all hate me and make up total fabrications!”
The French man corrected his misimpression, “Actually, these are numbers I got from your people!”
Lucrum’s face soured at that notion. “You’re lying! My people would never do that!”
“Your approval rating is lower than anyone in Baltasundian history!” a guy with a Canadian placard put in. “The celebrities who have spoken out against you only get more popular!”
“Uh, you’re lying!” Lucrum reacted indignantly. “My approval rating is through the roof, but reporters only show phony statistics!”
The Canadian guy differed, “The Patriot Network aired that. Aren’t they your favorite?”
Lucrum bitterly relayed, “You must have misunderstood them! That’s the problem of your nation- you’re so poorly educated that you can’t comprehend complicated concepts!”
After the assembly expressed their outrage over his slander, a lady from Mexico held up a newspaper and inquired, “What about this photo? Do you really believe that your populace still holds you in high regard after they view you acting with such hypocrisy?”
“Oh, please! Nobody’s loyalty has swayed despite… Wait, what photo?” He peered at the publication she displayed more closely, and his eyes grew wide when he realized it showed security footage of him fighting Gwynivara and Emorick at the hospital! There was no denying that he used a curse- glowing daggers were shooting out of his palms! He snatched the print out of the lady from Mexico’s grip and growled, “Who the f-? Vulpes Press! Of course, I should have known! Linda Knucker is a nasty woman who goes out of her way to give her audience a bad impression of me! That conniving little witch stole this documentation with dirty, underhanded tricks, and she’s using it to create false narratives about me! President Carter is probably paying her to set me up!”
“Hold on! First, the phone was stolen, then it was fake, and then they set you up? That’s three different narratives!” the lady from Mexico pointed out. “What is the truth?”
Lucrum snidely retorted, “You want the truth? You’re an idiot! Your country only sent you here because they have the same diversity BS as the Democrats of my land! They want to look revolutionary by hiring someone different, but by hiring someone supremely unqualified, they only gave themselves failure!”
A bloke from Great Britain contended, “She has a PhD from Harvard! Also, Mexico is experiencing a surge of vibrancy with an increase of industrial jobs as well as a population boom in-!”
“Oh, shut up!” Lucrum snapped.
“I like his style!” a representative from Cuba opined.
Lucrum beamed to finally have an ally on his side. “This dude has great taste! Tell your leader I admire his work and would love to collaborate together!”
The bloke from Great Britain cried out in disbelief, “You mean Fidel Castro? You’re praising dictators now?”
That was the final straw for Lucrum. “That’s it! Screw all of you jackasses!” He stormed out of the room, and as he marched down the hall, it registered to him that he still had the copy of Vulpes Press in his possession. He glimpsed at the picture, and his blood boiled. “Someone is gonna pay for this!”
Riley and John walked into a building somewhat cautiously. It surprised them to see how cozy it looked with its rich, wooden floor, oaken pillars, and cedar tables all accented with green ivy, and while there weren’t a lot of customers, the ones who were present appeared rough around the edges but friendly. The lights were warm, and the windows added a touch of glow to the atmosphere. John whispered to Riley, “I don’t see anything here that would help us!”
“Toraz wouldn’t have wasted his last breath sending us to a place with no significance!” Riley softly disputed. “There’s gotta be something that…!” A couple of patrons gazed at their hushed activity curiously, so Riley loudly recommended to John, “Let’s go get a drink!”
“Excuse me, sir!” John paged a fellow with a black leather vest and long gray hair in a ponytail.
The fellow turned around and revealed an eyepatch resting on a fairly scarred complexion! John got slightly thrown off by his gruff exterior, but Riley remained as cool as a cucumber. “Yes, I’ll have a Virgin Sex on the Beach!”
His order caused the bartender to furrow his brows. “So, you want cranberry juice mixed with orange?”
“I was just trying to be funny!” Riley pouted.
“How about a couple of steins of that?” John indicated to a tap in front of them.
The bartender poured their beer, but he observed them with a keen perplexity. “You two aren’t from around here, are ya?”
Riley put his hands up in defeat. “You’ve caught us! We’re tourists! How’d you guess?”
“Most folks don’t stray this far from all the major attractions…” The bartender continued to eyeball them suspiciously. “It’s not exactly the most glamorous neighborhood, you know…”
“We’re meeting our friend, Toraz, here,” John fabricated. “Do you know him?”
The bartender shook his head. “Nope! Never heard of him!”
Riley ogled him in surprise. “Really? The way he talked about it, it felt like he came here frequently!”
“Maybe he did!” The bartender shrugged. “We get a lot of regulars during the peak hours, no one really stands out!”
“He did work for Rafeneita. Do you know her?” John probed.
The bartender’s visage didn’t budge whatsoever. “Who’s that?”
John apprised him, “She works for the president.”
“Oh! Well, jolly good for her!” the bartender dryly verbalized.
“Toraz recently left though,” Riley filled him in. “He didn’t like what she was doing, and I think he wanted to do something about it. Do you know anything about that?”
The bartender denied knowledge of that subject. “Nope! Do you two need anything else?”
Riley sighed, “Apparently not!”
As the bartender resumed checking on his inventory, John buzzed Riley, “What do we do now?”
“Well, we have these alcoholic beverages, we may as well enjoy them before admitting defeat!” Riley took a swig from his mug, and his expression became quite disgusted. “Bleck! Why did I get this? I’m more of a wine connoisseur!”
“Did you bring any cash, or should we start a tab?” John catechized. Riley opened his mouth to answer, but then…
Rock ran inside chasing the black cat! “What are you doing? Get back here!”
After Rock scooped the feline up, the bartender gawked at him in shock. “Naria?”
“Uh, no! I think you have me confused with someone else!” Rock uncomfortably fidgeted.
“Did you say Naria?” A woman from the back emerged out of curiosity, and when the kitty dashed to her, she rejoiced, “Oh, you found your pet! We thought she was gonna be gone forever!”
The bartender entreated Rock, “How can we repay you?”
Rock gingerly broadcasted, “Well, there is one thing…”
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 19
“We didn’t do it!” Easton declared as he and Cedric walked into a meeting room where Director Kinley was poring over several folders.
“Aw! You’re no fun!” Director Kinley kidded. Cedric and Easton looked surprised that he said that, so Director Kinley commented, “Gee, you really aren’t any fun today, are you?”
Cedric raised an eyebrow at his pleasant attitude. “Not when we’re being accused of an attempted assassination of a world leader!”
Director Kinley tittered at that notion, “Psh! World leader my ass! Most of the other nations hate him! The only ones that show any inkling of kindness toward Lucrum have their names in the crapper too!” The two men still appeared very worried, so Director Kinley stated, “Don’t worry! I already know no one in the Rebellion did it.”
“Really? How did you know that?” Easton queried.
“One, if his administration’s lips are moving, they’re pouring out shit!” Director Kinley explained as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and began lighting one. “Two, you guys wouldn’t have used an arrow, and you wouldn’t have missed!”
Cedric added to that, “And we’re not dumb enough to do it with so much security around!”
Easton also added, “Plus, he’s not our main target! Yeah, it’d be a lot easier to deal with Rafeneita if he weren’t around, but no way would we risk everything for that prick!”
“You guys would only attack him if he attacked you first?” Director Kinley surmised. Easton and Cedric nodded in agreement of that assessment, and Director Kinley took a drag before tossing a photo that came out of a file on the table. “That’s what I figured was happening here…”
“That’s Gwynivara and Emorick!” Cedric identified them as he and Easton studied a somewhat grainy picture of the pair. “Wait! Who are they fighting? Is that…? No! It can’t be!”
Director Kinley filled them in, “The CIA has sources in the area, and they were able to obtain footage of Lucrum’s arrival at the hospital. Apparently, he got out of the motorcade when he saw them blast a hole in a hospital wall and jump out. Technically, Gwynivara threw out the first blow, but I have no doubt he threatened them by the way he loomed over them.”
Easton grumped, “Great! Now, they’ll probably put a warrant out for their arrest!”
“Actually, they already have a warrant out of their arrest for whatever BS they’re accusing the Resistance of. Also, it’s very unlikely that the Baltasundian government will allow the media to air this footage at all,” Director Kinley apprised them as he continued to smoke.
“What do you mean? They have proof that their enemy fought their president, so why wouldn’t they…?” Cedric contemplated that concept for a second, and then it clicked for him. “Oh! It’s ‘cause no one knows that Lucrum has Venenatus Sanguis!”
Director Kinley confirmed, “Exactly! He campaigned against that sort of thing, and if his supporters knew this, they’d be angry! It’d be a dirty rotten shame if this documentation was leaked to the public… Well, I gotta go make some calls!”
He extinguished his tobacco in an ashtray, gathered his files, and left the room. Easton and Cedric stared at each other questioningly, and eventually, both of them signaled assent to each other. Cedric held his palms over the photograph, which made a copy of it, and Easton held it like a bird he intended to release. The purloined pic disappeared, and the two men became very nervous about this move. Director Kinley had made his wishes fairly clear, but it still made them feel uneasy. They just stole classified material, and while it was for a good cause, they worried about the repercussions of making this choice. They weren’t certain if they would get into trouble for what they did or not…
“I forgot something!” Director Kinley reentered the room.
“Here!” Cedric and Easton chimed in unison.
Director Kinley took the image from them, and the two men aimed to convey that they had done the deed, but they weren’t positive how. “Thanks, fellas!” He somehow gathered the message- they didn’t know why else he would give them a wink prior to leaving again…
Franklin asserted, “I dunno! This makes me more nervous than a mouse going through a room full of pussycats!”
“What if he really changed his ways though?” Rock argued. “Is he supposed to be punished forever?”
“He outta be arrested for the stuff we know he did, and he should do extra time for the stuff we don’t have a clue about!” Riley opined.
José put in, “I’d love to get dirt about what she’s been up to! He probably has some stories to tell, especially if he’s still reeling from their recent falling out!”
Naama posed to the group, “But what price would we pay for this info? He may give us some details we’d benefit from, but what if he takes some valuable insight back to Rafeneita?”
“Maybe he’s telling the truth,” Charlene brought up. “Now that he’s out of her orbit, he can go back to being the version of himself he was before that bitch got her claws on him!”
“Just like that though?” Rebekah countered. “It was only a couple days ago that he tried to kill two of our members on behalf of our enemy!”
Niqun recited, “There’s an Ancient Chinese expression that says, ‘Beware of a dagger hidden in a smile.’ It means that sometimes people conceal things in their friendliness, and the best way to protect yourself is to stay vigilant and trust your instincts. So, what does your intuition tell you is the right course of action?”
Everyone searched their inner knowing. Some stared off into the distance, and others closed their eyes, but everyone seemed utterly confused. Gwynivara tuned into her heart, and suddenly, she got a flash of Rafeneita! She was speaking to Abigor, and she got elated upon learning something, but she contained herself out of caution. She commanded him, “If you’re sure, then send your men to round them up! If you’re right about this, I’ll forgive you for ever doubting me!” Abigor gave her a malicious grin, and Rafeneita’s wicked delight heightened as she watched him saunter off.
Gwynivara jerked out of her reverie, and the room glimpsed at her out of concern. Gwynivara urgently relayed to them, “We need to leave! Immediately!”
“Why? What did you see?” Kierram questioned her. “Was it Toraz?”
“Maybe! Not directly though. She told Abigor to send his men to round ‘them’ up, and she’s thrilled about whoever ‘them’ is!” Gwynivara illuminated them as she hastily threw some of their maps and guides into a box.
Nobody appeared too keen on evacuating from their home. It was one thing to act overly careful about letting new people in, but it was quite another to lose faith in the security of their residence! Not a single person wanted to let go, but then Rock observed the cat carrying her kittens into a carrier, and he declared, “Animals always know! It’s time to go!”
As soon as he made this pronouncement, they heard a commotion upstairs. Not wanting to take any chances, the entire lot hurried into the hidden passageway. As soon as the last individuals entered the tunnel, Bernadette sealed the door. She heard many footsteps roaming the room, and a man in the basement determined, “They were just here! They can’t be far!” Bernadette mouthed for them to run, and everybody rushed out of that perimeter.
Gwynivara and the others were grateful to make it to the other side without incident! The Resistance members breathed a collective sigh of relief, and Cody pondered, “Where do we go from here?”
“We couldn’t stay here?” John catechized. “Places like this tend to house the homeless, don’t they?” Rock was about to respond, but as soon as Emorick gripped the doorknob…
“You can’t come in here!” Toraz’s deep voice curtly addressed them.
Instantly, those who were against trusting Toraz felt justified in their positions. Emorick asked him, “Why not?”
Toraz explained, “After I left, Rafeneita had me followed to make sure I didn’t spill any secrets. I guess Abigor did the math, and he’s waiting for you outside! I’m sorry! I should’ve stayed away in anticipation of such a move!”
“What do we do now?” Cody fretted. “We can’t stay in the tunnel!”
“Charlene, can you teleport us out of here?” Gwynivara inquired.
With a rather hesitant visage, Charlene replied, “I could, but with a crowd this size, I couldn’t get us very far!”
Franklin noted, “Folks, we are almost literally stuck between a rock and a hard place!” He patted the cavern walls, and then he continued, “Either way we go, we’ll most likely have a fight on our hands! So, which poison do y’all wanna drink?”
“I’d hate to disturb anyone in the middle of worship!” John peered into a small crack where he could view the congregation, and it seemed as though they were in the midst of a funeral. “Or mourning the dead! Plus, we could potentially put a lot of their lives in danger!”
“Maybe we can find a hidden exit to sneak out of!” Naama propositioned.
Emorick refused that strategy, “Absolutely not! Gwynivara and I tried that recently- it didn’t work out so well for us!”
José determined, “Then, we don’t have a choice. I’m sorry, Charlene! I know this is gonna sap most of your energy!”
“Don’t sweat it! We’ve got your back!” Rock reassured Charlene.
“Well, here goes nothing! Everyone hold onto each other’s hands and your booties- this is gonna be a rough ride!” Charlene grabbed the palms of the two Resistance members closest to her, and once the entire crew had linked together, she concentrated as hard as she could. Soon, they vanished from that site!
They landed on the edge of the woods behind the cemetery. One of Abigor’s men cried out, “They’re over here, guys!”
Emorick instructed the assemblage, “The majority of you, run! Take her with you!” He indicated to Charlene, who collapsed on the grass. “The rest of us will fight them off!” A couple of denizens picked up Charlene, and the rest fled from the scene. The Rebels along with Rock and Franklin stayed behind, and Emorick encouraged those who remained, “We can do this!”
Abigor strutted up to them and leered, “I noticed that a couple of roses went missing at Summerland… Did that fix your little problem?”
His cronies laughed as he badgered Kierram, but it didn’t deter him. “Yeah, I’m no longer full of shit! I wish I could say the same for you!”
Abigor and his cronies glared at him for that slight, and Abigor seethed, “I hope you still think it’s funny when you join your mommy in the afterlife!”
Both Kierram and Emorick bristled at that, and Gwynivara bravely piped up, “And we hope you find it worth it to stoop so low just to serve an incompetent boob!”
“You know damn well that he won’t be the one in charge for too long!” Abigor barked.
“But, he is right now! You guys put all your eggs into one dumb basket!” Gwynivara needled him. “Even if you managed to pull off a miracle and defeated all of us, you’d be stuck with that loser! He’ll grow more and more unpopular, and your scheme will fall apart! What’s the point in putting in all of this effort when you’re doomed to failure?”
Her words stung Abigor, but there was no going back at that juncture! He snarled, “Your popularity won’t wane- you’ll get a lot of attendees at your funeral!” He turned to his men and ordered, “Get them!”
The two sides were pretty evenly matched. With all of the commotion occurring, Gwynivara couldn’t see where Abigor went. She crossed her fingers that she could defeat her opponent fast in order to search for him, but she would have found it perfectly acceptable if one of the others had gotten to him first. She glanced around when she could, and she observed that Rebekah and Cody were closest to her. She felt a twinge of guilt for this since they had to reinfect themselves to join the Rebellion’s efforts! Niqun battled as nimbly as her much younger counterparts, and José assisted John after his foe went down. She was just pondering where the others were when…
The entire scene paused when they heard a hideous moan blare out in the near distance…
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 18
Briar’s voice spoke over the image of a family staring at a Baltasundian flag, “There’s nothing greater than harboring a great love for your country…” The image shifted to depict an angry Rock, Gwynivara, and Emorick in a red light, and Briar went on, “To fight against our country is to fight against all of our values….” The image then displayed a glamorized version of Lucrum’s portrait, and Briar concluded, “Resist the Resistance! Support our president!’
A reporter paused the diner’s VCR and canvassed the crowd, “So, what does everyone think of the commercial?” Aside from the sounds from the staff cooking in the kitchen, everything got quiet after his enquiry, so he followed with, “Did it change anyone’s minds about the Resistance?”
For a moment, no one spoke. The reporter got a bit ansty, but eventually, an older man stated, “I’m pretty sure two of those people were Americans.”
“Um, yes. Yes, they are… But, aside from that, did it make you less likely to support the Resistance?” the reporter probed.
“I’m sorry, who is the Resistance?” a middle-aged lady puzzled.
The reporter hadn’t expected that response, so he awkwardly explained, “Well, they’re a group that opposes Thurio Lucrum and his team…”
A young guy catechized, “And that makes them special, how?”
“They don’t just hate Lucrum and his team- they’re taking drastic action to do something about it,” the reporter informed him. To his bewilderment, much of the mass cheered at that notion. The reporter cringed at the concept of him selling the Resistance to this impromptu focus group, and since he didn’t want to encourage that, he shifted his tactics, “What about your opinion of Lucrum? Did that ad make you admire him more?”
“That picture without his orange makeup is decent,” a teen girl shared.
The reporter corrected her, “That’s a tan.” The teen girl gave him a look like she thought he was insane, so he petitioned the rest of the patrons, “Anyone else?”
A man in his fifties opined, “Nope! He’s still a scumbag Nazi!”
“What about your patriotism?” the reporter desperately asked. “Did it make you love our beloved island even more?”
“I’ve always loved Baltasund,” an elderly lady answered. “I voted for Lucrum because I adore our nation and believed him when he said he could fix our problems, but he’s only making things worse! The stock market is crashing, and our allies hate us! My pride in this land will propel me to vote against him in the next election!”
Some of the collective agreed with her sentiments, and the reporter became even more frenzied in the pursuit of this story. “Oh, come on! You don’t even wanna support our president even after he, the leader of our country, almost got killed?”
A thirty-something-year-old dude put in, “I hate that assassin!” The reporter swelled with hope until the dude added, “He shouldn’t have missed!”
“Frank! That’s terrible!” the dude’s wife chided him over the laughter. “We can’t stoop to their level! Then, we’re no better than them!”
“I don’t want him to die, Tammy!” Frank refuted her. “But, you gotta admit it, the world would be safer without him in it!”
Rafeneita howled in fury as she used an incantation to turn off the television, and Lucrum hollowly observed, “They don’t care that I almost lost my life?”
Still seething, Rafeneita growled, “You were never in any real danger!”
“I could have been!” Lucrum argued. “The person in front of me died upon impact of that arrow, so-!”
“Oh, shut up, you fool!” Rafeneita barked. “You made yourself so repulsive that your citizens fantasize about your demise!”
Lucrum contended, “Hey! I’m only acting on your orders! You’re the one who told me this would be a good idea!”
Rafeneita screeched, “Abigor!” Abigor very cautiously slinked in, and Rafeneita hollered at him, “Why did you suggest that pity would bolster our numbers?”
“I was joking!” Abigor defended himself. “I didn’t say that intending for you to actually do it!”
“Well, instead of wasting time kidding around, why didn’t you offer a real solution?” Rafeneita huffed.
Abigor contended, “You didn’t give me much of a chance! You told us you had a brilliant idea, so who was I to argue with that?”
Rafeneita invited him, “You have a chance now… What do you propose we do?” Abigor shifted around in a guilty fashion. He knew the truth would only infuriate her even further, but it pained him to withhold this from her. The longer they spent in Baltasund, the farther they would get from their ultimate goal, so it seemed pointless to continue in this or any other democracy- ultimately, people would vote against their own demise! He couldn’t unearth any words that would appease her, and he knew he would face severe consequences for doing nothing to extinguish her ire. “You have until tomorrow to prove your loyalty!” Rafeneita decreed. “If you do nothing to enhance our cause, you will be eliminated!”
“You’re gonna fire him?” Lucrum guessed.
“No! I’ll probably use something more efficient than a blaze!” Rafeneita verbalized with a snide smile.
Lucrum looked as though he was still trying to understand her humorous tidbit, and Abigor bristled at the notion that his existence depended on this dolt succeeding. He marched out of the room, roiling, but after he distanced himself a bit, he wondered how in the heck he would pull off this impossible feat…
Bernadette sat in the graveyard and picked a bouquet of white flowers growing along the fenceline. Gwynivara found her and gently teased her, “Found someone to elope with?”
“Huh?” Bernadette didn’t comprehend what she meant until she glanced down at her harvest. “Oh! These aren’t for decoration of any sort! I’m bringing them back for part of our dinner! Did you know Queen Anne’s Lace is edible?”
“No! But, I didn’t know what these blooms were even called ‘til now!” Gwynivara sat down and joined her.
Bernadette filled her in, “After I left my family’s home but before I found the Rebellion, I survived off of what I could find in nature. Luckily, the maids used to collect them from the gardeners- I learned a lot from them! I know we get plenty of food from the cathedral, I mainly just wanted to get out of the basement! It’s so dark and dank in there sometimes!”
Gwynivara mused, “If it’s so dreary in there, maybe we should use them to pretty up the place! Plus, it could be on standby in case anyone feels like running off to get hitched!”
“You’ve mentioned that twice now!” Bernadette observed. “Are you and Kierram planning something?”
“No, no! He wants to wait ‘til my family can attend, and I… Well, I’m just starting to envision myself walking down the aisle!’ Gwynivara conversed. “It seems like a crazy thought still, but I gotta believe we will win this battle, and assuming that we do, I can’t picture going through the rest of my days without him!”
Bernadette smiled at the picture she painted. “Aww! That’s so sweet! I wish I had a boyfriend to imagine stuff like that with! That’s gonna take a while- I’m a little picky!”
Gwynivara inquired, “No one quite lives up to the Ashling name?”
“Oh, please!” Bernadette jovially replied. “I couldn’t care less if my mom approved of my future husband or not! I simply… Well… Prior to this whole Venenatus Sanguis thing, I said I was worried that the guys I was seeing were only after the family fortune, but looking back, I’m fairly certain I was merely scared that I would wind up becoming just like my mother! Would I do anything to guard what’s mine? Would I become so power hungry that I’d resort to murder?”
“No way!” Gwynivara emphatically expressed. “You’re too good of a person to do anything like that!”
Bernadette disagreed, “It’s always possible for people to change! It could happen at any moment too- we all have good and evil within us!”
Unexpectedly, Toraz came up to the railing and beseeched them, “Do you really mean that? ‘Cause I’d like to help you with your mission!” Gwynivara and Bernadette jumped back in fright, and he assured them, “I can’t do anything to you! Rafeneita tried to reinfect me, but I got way too much cure to do that! So, she threw me out like common gutter trash! After all I’ve done for her…!”
“How did you find us?” Gwynivara skeptically regarded him.
“I wasn’t looking for you! Seriously, I wasn’t!” Toraz swore. “I was actually coming to confess my sins at my mother’s church!”
Bernadette quizzed him, “Your mom goes to this church?”
Toraz let them know, “Actually, she’s a resident here!” He pointed to the cemetery, and the two ladies softened a little, but they still displayed significant mistrust, so he tried to sell them on the premise more, “You can’t tell me that it wouldn’t benefit the Resistance to know what Rafeneita was planning!”
“We have a solid hunch of what she’s up to based on the media reports. Not to mention personal experiences!” Gwynivara recalled that recent episode with a note of bitterness.
“I could give you names and locations!’ Toraz urged them. “You could ambush her at a hideout and remove her threat from the world forever!”
Bernadette rejoindered, “Oh, so you’re trying to lure us into a trap!”
Toraz made a noise of frustration. “No! Argh! I’m trying to help you, not hurt you!”
“Forgive us for not believing in your good intentions! I usually have a hard time trusting individuals who try to kill me!” Gwynivara stared at him with her arms folded.
“That’s fair!” Toraz acknowledged. “I suppose I wouldn’t forgive someone who did that to me either! But that fight was part of the reason I hoped I’d run into you again! You told me that you wanted to assist me in avoiding a terrible fate, and I was amazed that after all the bad I did on Rafeneita’s behalf, you had enough goodness in you to help me! I also figured it would be the ultimate revenge against that she-devil, lending a hand to her most hated foes! So, what do you say? Could you find it in your heart to give me a chance?”
Bernadette glanced at Gwynivara to make a decision. Gwynivara certainly felt pity for his plight, but it seemed reckless to take in a former henchman simply from his statements. He definitely aired some compelling claims of a reformed conscience, but she wasn’t totally positive that anyone could really change their morals that swiftly. She would never have forgiven herself if she brought in a mole scouting for their secrets, but if his assertions were accurate, she would not want to miss out on a potentially valuable opportunity to gain some lucrative insight! She didn’t know what the correct course of action was, but then she realized it wasn’t her journey to navigate…
Gwynivara concluded, “It’s not up to us! We’ll discuss it with our leaders, but I imagine they may need a stretch to see if you’re a man of your word…”
“Oh, thank you!” Toraz graciously verbalized. “I’ll check back in a few days! Where can I find you guys?” He espied their startled visages, and he altered his request, “Well, of course, you’re not gonna tell me! Can you come back here then?”
“Maybe,” Bernadette edicted.
He thanked them again with a half-bow, and after he bade them farewell, Kierram approached the two ladies. “Is everything alright?”
Gwynivara reassured him, “Yeah! We’ll tell you all about it when we get back to…” She noticed Kierram giving her a delighted observance, and for a second, she forgot she was holding a dozen flowers. “This isn’t for what you think!”
“But, we’re already heading into a chapel…” Kierram joshed her.
“Forget it! I’m not celebrating the happiest day of my life with plants that someone might eat!” Gwynivara laughed. “Roses would be better!”
Bernadette brought up, “Roses can be eaten too!”
Gwynivara crinkled her nose at that concept. “That sounds gross!”
“No, seriously! Rose petals make a great tea!” Bernadette pleasantly bickered. “Although, you may not wanna have a bunch of it ‘cause it’s a mild laxative!”
“I saw some rose bushes nearby,” Kierram asserted as they headed back into the cathedral. “You know, in case someone needs that tea…”
Gwynivara playfully needled him, “You’re as classy as ever!”
Kierram pushed back, “Hey! It’s not my fault! I don’t exactly get to pick the menu around here!”
The three of them chortled as they went inside, and Abigor watched their entrance from a neighboring tree. He rubbed his chin contemplatively, and he reckoned that he found a method of getting back into Rafeneita’s favor…
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 17
“We don’t wanna deal with the president! We just wanna go home!” Gwynivara pleaded with the police officers before her in the most pathetic tone she could muster. She hoped that they would find her and Emorick non-threatening enough to permit them to pass. It wasn’t as though she wouldn’t have loved a crack at taking that tyrant down once and for all- she and Emorick would’ve been heavily outnumbered! If these officers trapped them in there, they could potentially have found themselves in a death trap!
“No can do, ma’am!” the officer responded. “Secret Service has to check on everyone in a five-hundred-yard radius! Go have a seat somewhere- someone should be right with you!”
Emorick wheeled Gwynivara away from the officers, and when they spotted a seemingly empty stairwell, they both darted inside. “We’ve gotta find an unguarded entrance!” Emorick exclaimed.
Gwynivara pointed to a door behind him and propositioned, “We could leave there! If we do an incantation, we could escape without… Oh, there’s someone guarding that door too!”
“Let’s go!” Emorick grabbed her wrist, and they dashed back into the hall. They strove to appear casual as they trekked along, but everyone was too preoccupied to pay them any mind. “Maybe we could go to the cafeteria and-,” he started to suggest.
“Excuse me,” A Secret Service agent tapped him on his shoulder, and then he requested, “Could you answer some questions first?”
They froze in their tracks, and Emorick stiffly complied, “Sure!”
After studying his face briefly, the Secret Service agent pressed Emorick, “What’s your name?”
“I’m Mister Cash,” Emorick lied
“And, your first name, Mister Cash?” The Secret Service pulled out a walkie-talkie and was prepared to push a button.
They both knew their false identities wouldn’t get verified in their system, and Gwynivara guessed that a thorough inspection of her visage would show that she had no wrinkles, so the Secret Service would recognize that they were being deceptive. Gwynivara couldn’t fathom all that would occur if they were outed, but she certainly didn’t want them to get detained or restrained with their adversary having a presence at this facility! Action needed to be taken and quickly so they could avoid that catastrophic scenario…
Gwynivara clutched her chest and dramatically called out, “Oh! My heart!”
“Sir, can I…?” Emorick petitioned the Secret Service agent.
“Go ahead! We’ll catch up later!” he consented. While he took out a small notebook and jotted down some notes, Emorick rushed Gwynivara toward the Emergency Room.
They nonchalantly slipped past the front desk and continued along a foyer that branched out of those quarters until Emorick spotted something, “The laundry room!” Gwynivara followed him into that space.
Gwynivara surveyed the scenery, and she concluded, “There aren’t any ways out of here!”
“Not yet!” Emorick chose a section of the wall and stated, “We’re not gonna find an exit that isn’t covered, so we’ll have to make our own!” His words were logical, but Gwynivara still had a bad feeling about this move. She hoped she was wrong as he concentrated on producing a jinx, and after he blasted a hole big enough for them to fit in, she prayed that they could flee without detection…
“We got a set of Venenatus Sanguis persons trying to break out!” an agent in the bushes spoke into his sleeve. “Suspects have gray hair…”
Emorick and Gwynivara sped back into the hospital, and in another stairwell, they ditched their wigs. “Now what?” Gwynivara urgently asked Emorick.
He quickly answered, “We’ll go to the rooftop! We’ll have to jump for it!” That sounded daunting to her, but Gwynivara trusted his decision and tailed him up the steps. When they got closer to their destination, they heard activity on the ceiling above them. “Crap!” Emorick muttered. They went into the closest wing to them, and Emorick instructed Gwynivara, “We’ll have to hide somewhere, and if we get caught, we-!”
“No need to hide!” Toraz greeted them with a malicious grin. “Do you really want me to kill you cowering in a corner? Wouldn’t you rather stand and die like a man?”
“That’s awfully rich coming from one of Rafeneita’s bitches!” Gwynivara retorted. Gwynivara didn’t know for sure where this guy came from; that was a complete hunch! Based on how rapidly her comment caused him to frown, she could tell she had gauged the situation correctly. There was no escaping from this conundrum at this juncture- they were going to have to fight their way out of this! She had to give diplomacy a shot first though… “What do you stand to gain from helping an autocrat destroy the world?”
Toraz emphatically articulated, “Life! I’m no fool- I’m not gonna die out of principle! Nobody will be around to remember me fondly for it! No, I’m gonna keep going until a time that I choose!”
Emorick contended, “You’ll live, but for what purpose? To act as a servant to the alien race that takes over the planet?”
“Rafeneita would not reward my loyalty like that?” Toraz spat.
“You’re doing her bidding now!” Emorick shot back.
Toraz growled, “You’re trying to confuse me!”
Gwynivara countered, “We’re trying to help you avoid a terrible fate!”
“You’re not gonna dissuade me from my mission!” Toraz shouted. “I joined this expedition to battle you!”
“Have it your way then!” Gwynivara sent out a spell swifter than he was prepared for, but his reflexes were fast enough to dodge it. And, with that, their peace talks ended and combat began!
Toraz emitted a streak of fire, but Emorick blocked it with a sheet of ice. Gwynivara sent out a gust of blustery wind, but he shielded himself with a newly formed stalagmite. Emorick did a hex to make wooden stakes zoom toward his chest, but he ducked prior to their impact. Gwynivara attempted to ambush him in the skull in his low vantage point, but Toraz shot out daggers to both of them. They evaded this advance, but he strove to strike them with bolts of electricity during their brief distraction. Emorick created a barrier that the flashes couldn’t penetrate, and when the projectile evaporated, Gwynivara broke the glass into shards. Some of them hit Toraz, but it didn’t stop him. They went back and forth for a while, and Gwynivara realized that they were going to need to do something different in order to win this stalemate. She had no clue what that was until something in the distance caught her eye…
She jumped behind Emorick and entreated him, “Keep his attention on you for a second!” Emorick’s brows furrowed at this strange inclination, but he gave her a curt nod anyhow. He broadcasted a flashing light, and Toraz could cover each one individually, but he had to continually do it, which made it difficult for him. He began to grow frustrated, and while he was occupied, Gwynivara evoked a commodity behind him…
Toraz grunted when he felt several pricks lodge themselves into his back, but he recovered quickly. He then laughed derisively at Gwynivara, “You had an open window to get me, and that’s what you went with? You idiot! You’ll pay for that mistake!”
Emorick instinctively wanted to protect Gwynivara, but he held back because she stood there with her arms folded defiantly. He watched curiously as Toraz reared himself up to hurl a curse at her, but Toraz became astonished when he couldn’t produce anything. “Huh?” he puzzled. He focused as hard as he could, but nothing occurred. “What’s happening?”
“You riddled this hospital with Venenatus Sanguis patients- didn’t it cross your puny brain that they may have a bunch of cures lying around?” Gwynivara grinned at him triumphantly. “I wonder how much use you’ll be for Rafeneita with this impotence!”
“This won’t last forever! I’ll get reinfected!” Toraz snarled.
Emorick nearly riposted to that snide remark, but then several Secret Service members flooded in. “You two are under arrest!” one of them yelled.
Not deterred, Emorick hollered back, “Not today!” He opened up a chasm on the wall, and Emorick as well as Gwynivara leapt toward the ground. Gwynivara used her powers to manifest a soft landing, and they gently touched the grass. They were prepared to run to safety, but then…
“I was warned about you two!” Lucrum’s voice loomed over them. Gwynivara logically knew what was happening, but it didn’t seem possible until she turned around. Even then, it still felt like an implausible circumstance, and her mind didn’t want to accept it. Lucrum leered, “You don’t appear so formidable to me! Number One and Number Two of the American Rebels- dear me! I’d hate to have to tell my friend, President Carter, that two of his most cherished feds turned up dead on my watch!”
“Nice ear! You sure heal from serious injuries fast!” Emorick sardonically relayed as he viewed Lucrum’s perfectly healthy cranium.
Lucrum panicked for a moment, but then he instantly assuaged his nerves. “Alright, so you know! Too bad you won’t live to tell anyone my secret!”
Gwynivara would have expected Lucrum to reach for a more typical weapon, but to her complete astonishment, he posed to do an incantation! Preceding her thoughts accepting this new reality, Lucrum endeavored to pelt them with a spell! Emoick and Gwynivara each rolled in different directions, and when Lucrum geared himself up to emit another one, Emoick noticed that the Secret Service was readying themselves to defend their protectee. He materialized a bubble that encased him with Gwynivara and Lucrum, and then he encouraged Gwynivara, “You’ve got this!”
“You’re pitting me against a diversity hire?” Lucrum roared with mirth. “This will be a cinch!”
“Actually, your chauvinist ass is about to get beaten by a girl! This will be a cinch!” Gwynivara sent a pink current toward him, and he nearly got belted with it. Gwynivara was pleased to see how maddening it was for him to realize that he would have to toil tremendously to contend with her.
Lucrum generated several attacks at many angles, but Gwynivara readily fended them off. She managed to fire a jinx at him, and while most of him eluded her enchantment, she managed to nick his foot, which burned a hole in his shoe. He magicked a boulder toward her, but she shattered it into a myriad of pieces that cascaded onto his torso. She transmitted ice pellets to him, and he was able to melt them. He used that same fire to bombard Gwynivara with an assault, but she used wind to put it out. The wind pushed Lucrum, and he retaliated with a gale of his own. The two tempests met each other in the middle, and for a minute, it seemed like Gwynivara encountered another stalemate, but then Lucrum showed signs of buckling! Gwynivara gained some hope of a victory… until…
Emorick conveyed to Gwynivara, “I can’t hold this much longer!”
Gwynivara frowned at this dilemma. She was so close to beating Lucrum, and such a feat would enable them to put an end to most of the madness that enveloped the country, but she couldn’t blame Emorick for losing his grip. That sort of magic would require a lot of energy, and she knew their time with that protection was limited. If they lost that force field, they would get overtaken with shots from the Secret Service! Gwynivara prayed that she could vanquish Lucrum in the next few seconds, but it appeared more likely that their stronghold would go down before Lucrum did. She couldn’t give in and allow the Secret Service to hurt them or even incarcerate them- they wouldn’t stand a chance at their mercy! The remedy for this quandary didn’t seem clear, but all of a sudden, it clicked for her…
She dropped her incantation and tackled Emorick in the same instance! The blast that Lucrum intended for Gwynivara collided with some of the Secret Service! Gwynivara’s thoughts targeted that open space, expecting to race for it, but unexpectedly, she felt her and Emorick’s bodies leave that site! They landed just outside of their circle, and Gwynivara wondered, “How did I do that?”
“Seize them!” Lucrum bellowed. Emorick and Gwynivara sprinted out of harm’s path, but the Secret Service was catching up. They got within feet of them, and then…
“Not now, narrow nads!” Charlene verbalized as she popped into the vicinity. She grabbed Emorick and Gwynivara’s hands, and they vanished within a nanosecond of getting clobbered with bullets!
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 16
“How dare you show up here!” a woman on the tarmac screeched.
A man next to her bellowed, “If you don’t like how Baltasund is run, you can leave!”
The teen beside him vociferated, “Go back to America! President Carter loves you! We don’t!”
Ethan Everett ignored the couple dozen people who were protesting his arrival- not that this was hard to do! Hundreds of fans gathered around his plane and excitedly greeted him! Most of the crows screamed in delight, and some were even crying simply for his proximity to theirs! Ethan’s bodyguards shooed individuals away to clear a path for their protectee, but Ethan happily said hello to them. He grabbed outstretched hands with enthusiasm, and he even posed for a couple of pictures! The grin in each photo was genuine- he was scared of speaking out against President Lucrum originally, but now he felt it was the best career move he could have possibly made!
“He’s so dreamy!” Briar cooed. Her cohorts at the long table gave her a questioning gaze, so she immediately followed that with, “Makes me sick! Those lousy Rebels certainly go themselves a very helpful ally!”
“Our demonstration looks so puny compared to their support!” the man with a deep voice pouted. “It’s just like our poll numbers!”
The guy with the growly speak pounded his fists on the table. “Bah! Turn it off! I don’t need any more reminders!” Abigor used a spell to remove the image from a glass semicircle situated in the middle of the table, and the growly guy irately suggested, “Why don’t we tell the public Gwynivara and the rest of that goody-two-shoes group set Secretary Muggins up?”
Rafeneita snarled, “You fool! If we do that, they could easily point out that I’m one of Lucrum’s aides! That’ll only make everything worse! My name is mud now thanks to Don John Rialowe! Blast him for growing a conscious at a pinnacle moment! Now there’s a warrant out for my arrest! The World Police want to charge me with genocide! How would it look for Lucrum if the general populace learned of my association with him?”
“I could arrange for another trap!” Briar propositioned. “We could nail them for something and-!”
“Oh, yeah! ‘Cause that worked out so well last time!” the man with the deep voice sarcastically muttered.
Briar snapped, “Oh, shut up, Toraz! I don’t see you doing anything to help!”
Toraz bolted up and glared at Briar menacingly, so Abigor intervened, “Hey, hey, hey! Let’s save that energy for the right recipients!”
“You’ve been awfully quiet about all this, Abigor!” Rafeneita observed. “Do you not have strong feelings about it?”
“Of course I do!” Abigor swore to her as convincingly as he could. He strove to convince himself as much as he did her!
The growly guy stated, “He’s lying to you! I haven’t seen him show any sign of stress once in the last few days!”
Abigor refuted him, “Excuse me! I’ve only been holding back so I don’t create a beast in here! Do you wanna get eaten alive, Maqbool? Maybe you do- it’s not like anyone would miss you!”
Maqbool stood up and raised his arm as if he was going to release an incantation, so Rafeneita emitted one to calm him down. After he plopped back into his chair as though he was stupefied, Rafeneita verbalized to Abigor, “What do you propose we do in order to mitigate the issue?”
“Well…” Abigor didn’t know how to air what he truly thought of this operation. He was excited about it in the beginning, but he felt everything went downhill since Lucrum won the election. At this juncture, it seemed like it would have been more prudent if they abandoned ship and tried again elsewhere, but he couldn’t say that to Rafeneita! If he criticized her plan to stay put, he would have been dead, and he worked way too hard for that to occur! He couldn’t come up with anything that could save this ship from sinking, so he sullenly kidded, “Maybe the public will see how pathetic Lucrum is now and will feel enough pity for him to support him again!” His cohorts’ faces contorted into anger, and for a second, he worried his jest had gone too far…
“Abigor! You’re brilliant! That’s exactly what we’ll do!” Rafeneita exclaimed. The others grew confused by her reaction, and Abigor became flummoxed by how he accidentally inspired hope for this seemingly lost cause…
In the basement headquarters, Emorick notified Gwynivara, “You don’t have to do this!”
Gwynivara insisted, “Yes, I do! Our enemy can do it, so more of our side needs to do it too!”
“You’ve defeated Rafeneita before without knowing how to do it!” Emorick argued. “Even if you do manage to get it down preceding another confrontation with her, the rest of us won’t be able to do it in time! So, what’s the point?”
“I don’t know!” Gwynivara admitted. “I realize there are a lot of other things I could be doing while we wait for the chance to do another sting, but… I dunno! I just have a feeling!”
Emorick relented, “Well, you can’t go against your gut! I’ve learned that lesson the hard way! And, I suppose it does no good to argue with a woman who’s made her mind up!”
Gwynivara grinned. “Nope! It doesn’t! Alright, let’s give it a shot! I really feel like I’m getting closer!” Emorick didn’t bicker with her further, but he still looked highly skeptical. She paid him no mind and closed her eyes in concentration. Shortly after clearing her thoughts, she found herself coursing with the sensation of floating! She really felt as though she finally got the knack of it, and her heart fluttered as she barreled toward her destination! It took her a while to recognize that she wasn’t actually moving forward…
She managed to cover her head prior to her colliding with the ceiling! Her body slammed into the hard surface with a thunderous impact, and one of her arms hit something sharp! Blood seeped down her skin, and she got so preoccupied with this sight that she forgot to create a soft landing for herself! Emorick manifested a jinx to slow her down, but she still hit the floor with a forceful speed…
Gwynivara found herself waking up on a strange bed. As she regained consciousness, she heard a friendly male chirp, “There’s our little patient!” It immediately dawned on her what transpired during her slumber, and the prospect of peril that it presented spooked her, so she swiftly lifted her lids. The male who perpetrated that sentence appeared to belong to a nurse who gently smiled at her. “It’s okay, Missus Cash! You’re safe here!”
“Am I really?” Gwynivara folded her arms doubtfully. She saw a very old man with a cane next to him, and she peered at him out of curiosity. She couldn’t comprehend who he was or what interest he had in her…
“Yes, darling! You’re fine!” the old man croaked out in a tone that sounded a lot like Emorick’s. She tried not to look too surprised as he spoke to avoid blowing their cover.
The nurse briefed her, “You got a little bump on the noggin, but it’s not going to hurt you! We did have to give you a tetanus shot because you had really rigid muscles around your jaw, but you can probably go home later tonight or tomorrow! We’re gonna observe you for a bit, but once the doctor has a look, you’ll be a-okay to return home! Just don’t go back on your grandchild’s trampoline until they move it somewhere safer!”
Gwynivara gave him a thumbs up, but as soon as he was out of earshot, she hissed at Emorick, “Are you crazy? I get injured, and you bring me here?”
“Out of all people, I know the risk of waking up in a place like this during a time like this!” Emorick reminded her. Gwynivara shifted guiltily as she recalled the difficult decision she once made about him, and he further shedded some insight onto her, “Besides, it wasn’t my idea! The orderlies upstairs heard the thump and checked on you! Even if we weren’t who we are, I wouldn’t have brought you here if I could have helped it! They don’t even have any rooms open!”
“We’re not in a room?” Gwynivara puzzled. She studied her surroundings, and she noticed the floor was black pavement. “Are we in the parking garage?”
Emorick filled her in, “The hospital is full due to all the emerging Venenatus Sanguis cases! Even the maternity ward is packed! I thought about using the pregnancy disguise again ‘cause I figured it’d get us seen faster, but….”
Gwynivara recommended, “Well, let’s clear some much-needed space for them and get out of here, darling!”
“Well, you look elderly! What was I supposed to say? You’re my drinking buddy?” Emorick joked as he grabbed a nearby wheelchair.
“Yes! It would have made more sense than trying to explain why a grandma is getting on a trampoline!” Gwynivara laughed. She nearly sat on the wheelchair when she made a realization, “Wait, why am I getting on this? I can walk just fine!”
Emorick articulated, “This is the normal procedure for getting discharged. This way, no one will question us heading to the exit. It‘d look a bit weird if two oldsters were casually strolling out of the ER! Unless you’d rather hold hands, darling!”
Gwynivara tittered as she took her seat, and as they began to depart, Gwynivara pondered, “I wonder if Kierram would get jealous of another man calling me pet names!”
“Nah! He knows that my heart belongs to his mother, and no woman could ever take her place! Honestly, I think he’d simply be thrilled to see me get along so well with my future daughter-in-law!” Emorick espied Gwynivara’s expression lurch in an uncertain fashion, so he asked her, “What? You don’t want to marry my son?”
“Of course I do! Or, I would assuming I’ll get to do anything so normal and wonderful!” Gwynivara answered as the makeshift wing met the actual building and they went inside. “Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to meet my prince and live happily ever after, but now that feels like a total fairy tale! I’ll be happy to merely live after all we’ll have to go through!”
She became concerned about her truthfully not having a willingness to affirm a commitment to the concept of marriage yet, but he unexpectedly appeared to understand her emotions! He sagely stated, “I know! It feels like you’ll never get out of this battle! I went through the same thing when I went off to fight in World War II. Nialla and I tied the knot when I went on leave, but I mostly agreed to do it so someone would notify her of my death! I didn’t believe we’d ever get to share a typical married life, but I survived the war! Well, I went to a couple more, but our wedding helped me get through it ‘cause then I wasn’t just fighting- I had something worth fighting for!”
Gwynivara hadn’t contemplated that notion previously. She had always fought against evil for the sake of keeping it at bay, but she didn’t consider striving to save her own future! Or that her future didn’t have to mirror the past! Wanting more than mere existence in this world kind of made her feel guilty, as if she didn’t appreciate this gift, but she now toyed with the idea that perhaps it was permissible to desire less stress and more happiness! Perhaps she could imagine herself enjoying blessings as pleasurable as a long period of wedded bliss…
“Immigration is ruining our country!” Lucrum’s boisterous tongue echoed out into the hallway. Emorick halted frozen in his tracks- for a flash, they got the sensation that Lucrum was in their periphery, but when they glanced over to the source of his speech, they discovered that a patient was watching him on television. The atrocity he spewed dumbfounded them enough that they couldn’t resist pausing to discern what he intended to do with such an audacious statement. “We opened our borders to everyone, but not everyone belongs in Baltasund! We’ve got thieves and murderers pouring in, and some nations send out their crazies to get rid of them and make them our problem! I can prove it on this chart…”
“Oh, let’s get out of-!” Gwynivara started to suggest, but then…
As Lucrum craned his neck to view the material he brought onto the stage, an arrow zoomed past his ear! His wound instantly pooled with blood, and then his security detail rushed him off of the scene. A reporter relayed to the audience, “The president was nearly assassinated at his rally! His assassin was just shot, and sources identify him as a member of an organization known as the Resistance!”
Emorick gasped, “Impossible! Nobody would do…!” He glimpsed at the area around them, and he opted not to finish that sentence. “Come on! We gotta go check on the others!”
He rushed to the entrance, but just as they were about to leave, it was suddenly barricaded by a slew of police officers! One of them ushered the pair back into the hall and addressed them, “No one is going anywhere! President Lucrum is en route to this hospital…!”
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 15
“Please welcome to the stage, Badia Needya!” an emcee announced in front of a glittery curtain.
“Whoo! Yeahhhhh!” a buff, attractive man hollered as a young, Middle Eastern woman emerged in a bralette, long skirt, and several adornments that caused her body to emit small, rattling sounds as she moved. He took another long sip of his alcoholic beverage as she briefly danced near a cluster of men in a military uniform, and when she strolled near him, he hollered louder, “Whoooo!”
A lady in a cocktail server uniform hurried over to her peer, and a heavily disguised Bernadette anxiously asked, “Are we sure he’s ready?”
Gwynivara grabbed a bottle of beer from a bartender version of Niqun, and when she observed the man’s rowdy behavior, she confidently answered, “Oh, yeah! He’s ready! He must’ve pre-gamed before coming in!” Bernadette smiled in relief as Gwynivara took the beer to a table.
“Shake it, baby!” the man shouted as Badia shimmied in front of him.
“You look familiar!” Badia noted when she did the splits and got closer to him.
The man proudly introduced himself, “Lance Muggins, Secretary of Defense.”
Getting up from the floor, Badia dismissively responded, “Yeah, right!”
“No, it’s true!” Lance got up and spoke to her as she spun around on a pole.
“Sure! And I’m the queen of Saudi Arabia!” Badia sarcastically regarded him.
Lance clearly got frustrated by her lack of belief. He reached into his pocket and furnished a badge. “See!”
Badia laughed, “Oh, that’s cute! Where’d you buy it?”
“It’s not fake! Look, I even brought my briefcase with me!” He gestured to a brown, leather satchel under his chair, and he explained, “I brought my work with me so I could file this as a business expense on my taxes.” Badia still gazed at him skeptically, so he set it on her platform and opened it. He showed her a document and challenged her, “Does this look fake to you?”
“These are attack plans!” Badia gasped. “Wow! I didn’t know we had troops in Comoros!”
Lance’s chest swelled as she finally became impressed by his clout. “We’re helping the French in their attempt to-!”
A bodyguard snatched the paper out of Lance’s hands. “Sir! You’re not supposed to share this information with the public!”
“It’s not the public! This is a work function!” Lance staggered slightly as he nearly lost his balance.
“Okay, time to go home!” The bodyguard wrapped his arm around Lance and guided him away from the dais.
The soldiers cheered as Badia took off her skirt, and Lance vehemently objected, “Nooooo! I wanna see the pretty girls!”
Once the final government official walked out, Badia queried the announcer, “Are we clear?”
“Are we clear outside?” the announcer canvassed the person at the door.
“Yup!” Charlene confirmed. “They hauled his drunk ass out kicking and screaming like a toddler! I wish we were filming that!”
Riley ripped off his beard and exhaled in alleviation. “Oh, thank god! I thought my days of pretending to be straight were over!”
Cody complimented Badia, “Wow, Naama! I didn’t know you could dance like that!” Rebekah glared at him, and Cody queried, “What?”
“Man, I’m glad my days of being clueless like that are over!” Rock commented. Cody stared at him quizzically, and Rock apprised him, “You’re in trouble, kiddo! I’d stop for flowers on the way home if I were you!”
“Belly dancing is a tradition in my family!” Naama illuminated the others as she put her hijab back on. “I’m a little disgusted that my heritage was used to turn on that moron, but it was worth it! Right? Did you get what you needed?”
Kierram held up a video camera and attested, “Absolutely!”
Linda came out from backstage and retrieved the equipment. “Well done! I’ll get this into editing asap! Thanks for your cooperation, Peter!”
“No problem! But… How’s this gonna help?” Peter scratched his head in confusion.
“Oh, you’ll see!” Linda smirked.
Rafeneita marched into Lucrum’s office, and she folded her arms irately when she viewed Lucrum with his eyes glued to the television set. “This is what you’re doing instead of enacting the policies I gave you?”
Lucrum defended himself, “Hey! I sign whatever bills that come across my desk! It’s up to the legislators to make laws!”
“Well, there must be something else you can do to advance our cause!” Rafeneita insisted. “You can’t tell me letting your brain rot in front of the idiot box is the best use of your time!”
“You make it sound as though I spend all day watching kiddie cartoons!” Lucrum reacted in affront to her insinuations. He indicated to the screen and contended, “I watch the news! It’s vital to know the public’s perception of me! I won by keeping my finger on Baltasund’s pulse! I know exactly what they want, and I give it to them! Or, I make them think I did anyways! I need them to keep believing I’m delivering regardless of the situation! Whether they love me or hate me, it doesn’t matter as long as they continue to adore me, fear me, or both! They’ll do as I say as long as they have it in their hearts that I’m a force to be reckoned with! If I lose that, I’ll lose the stronghold I have on their mindsets! Don’t you see? If I lose that, I’ll lose my power, and we’ll lose everything!”
Rafeneita rolled her eyes at his speech. “Yes, I’m well aware of how imperative perception is! However, you have plenty of employees who can do this sort of analysis for you!”
Lucrum argued, “And, then what? I can hear facts that have been filtered and regurgitated several times over? No! I wanna be the first to hear it! If I get it straight from the horse’s mouth, I can act on it sooner!”
“The president does more than sign bills though!” Rafeneita quarreled. “You’re wasting precious time here instead of using your influence to-!”
“Breaking news!” the anchorman proclaimed. Both Rafeneita and Lucrum swiveled to face the TV out of sheer curiosity. “We go live to Linda Knucker for the scoop!”
Lucrum groaned, “Ugh! Her again! She’s always snooping around my administration looking for dirt! I used to like Vulpes Press, but now… What business does an American outlet have here anyway?”
Rafeneita suggested, “Why don’t you have her kicked out?”
“I can’t do that! There’s only so much of the Constitution that I can compromise!” Lucrum shot back. Rafeneita would have dwelt on that subject longer if Linda hadn’t begun speaking.
“Thanks, Bob! Well, folks, your national security secrets aren’t as secure as you previously perceived. Vulpes Press has obtained exclusive footage of Baltasund’s Secretary of Defense sharing classified info with a stripper! Yes, you heard that right! I know that sounds unfathomable, but seeing is believing! Take a look!” The feed switched to what was captured between Lance and Badia. Some of the soldiers’ silhouettes partly obscured the perspective, but the audio was quite clear. When the interaction finished, Linda went on, “As you can see, Lance leaked the details of a critical mission, and now troops from two different countries have to account for their presence in East Africa! Back to you, Bob!”
Bob appeared very wide-eyed and alarmed. “Wow! Secretary Muggins has some explaining to do! Oh, my station manager has relayed to me that several people have already phoned the station calling on the Defense Secretary to resign! Well then…! Anyways, meanwhile, in sports…”
Lucrum seized a diet cola can off of his desk and hurled it against the wall! After it created a splattery mess, Lucrum huffed, “There! Are you telling me you’d rather wait for an aide to give you this bombshell?”
Rafeneita ignored his aggressive composure and peered at the show in deep speculation. “How did that soldier happen to have a camera handy for that moment?”
“I dunno! He’s a perv and filmed everyone?” Lucrum shrugged.
“Let me see that again!” Rafeneita pointed her palm at the television, and she rewound it to the strip club scene. She watched it a couple of times until something caught her eye. “There!” She made the screen zoom in, and Gwynivara’s visage was overtly seen. “Oh, that harlot is playing hard ball! Well, if she thinks she’s getting away with her little game, she’s sadly mistaken!” Rafeneita stormed off with a look of purpose on her face.
Susie instructed her patient, “Remove your fingers.”
The guy refused, “No! If I do, my arm’s gonna start gushing out blood again!”
“I can’t mend it ‘til you let go!” Susie gently let him know. The guy seemed hesitant, but he did as he was told. Susie swiftly bandaged his wound up prior to it spouting anything out, and the guy looked stunned. Susie chuckled, “My job is to heal you, not to make it worse!” She finished wrapping it, and then she directed him, “I would stop field assignments for at least two weeks, and come back every other day to get your bandages changed. Otherwise, you’re good to go!”
“I am?” the guy puzzled.
Susie confirmed, “Well, yeah. The beast punctured your radial artery, it’s gonna take a lengthy stretch for it to heal!”
The guy pressed her, “Can’t we use an incantation to fix it?”
“If we do, it’ll expose your laceration too long. Sorry, buddy! Venenatus Sanguis can’t fix everything! I’m afraid you’ll have to get better the old-fashioned way!” Susie gave him a supportive smile, but he didn’t return the gesture and left in a huff.
“Damn! You have to live as we mortals do sometimes, huh?” Director Kinley kidded as he entered the clinic with a newspaper.
Susie remarked, “We have supernatural abilities, but we’re still human!” She mulled that over for a moment, and then she added, “Well, except Rafeneita! I’m positive she has some sort of method to cure just about anything- Abigor has been on the brink of death several times, and yet he’s still kicking somehow! Not that I wish death upon anyone…”
Director Kinley assisted her in cleaning up, and he noted, “Boy, you run a medical ward and the Rebellion- you’re a busy lady!”
“I’m not supposed to lead the Rebellion, I’m simply leading it ‘til the rest of the leaders return! Which will hopefully be pretty soon! Toppling a dictator and vanquishing an apocalyptic alien should be a piece of cake, right?” She tittered as though she had delivered a quip, but it was obvious that she didn’t find the situation the least bit humorous. “Don’t tell me you’re here to give me more to do!”
“No, no, no!” Director Kinley promised. “I only wanted to see if you saw the latest headline from Baltasund.”
Susie articulated, “I haven’t had a chance to get briefed yet. Some of our guys got ambushed in Las Vegas…”
Director Kinley verbalized, “Oh, Vegas! What a fun assignment!” Susie glimpsed at him questioningly, so he corrected himself, “Well, perhaps not as much in this case! Anyways, check this out!”
He plopped a newspaper onto the exam table, and Susie read out loud, “Secretary Muggins defends himself after security breach. After taking his team to an adult entertainment venue, the inebriated secretary leaked military secrets to one of the performers. With accusations of getting drunk on the clock, the public expected him to resign in disgrace, but instead, he doubled down on his innocence. He claims that the Democrats set him up to make him look bad. He not only vows to stay in his position, he’s threatening to have anyone involved with the incident arrested.” Susie rolled her eyes at that notion. “He’s some piece of work! He did something wrong, but he acts like it’s everyone else’s fault! Are Baltasundians buying this BS?”
“I dunno, maybe a few of them! Hey, check out this cocktail waitress!” Director Kinley pointed to a photo on the page.
“Listen, I realize it’s been hard without your wife, but you can’t-!” Susie began to critique him.
Director Kinley affirmed, “No! I don’t mean it like that! Does she seem recognizable to you?”
Susie studied the picture, and then she deduced, “That’s Gwynivara!”
“Secretary Muggins was right- it was a setup, and our people were responsible! If they can prove it, there could be trouble!” Director Kinley frowned in concern, and Susie bit her lip in worry…
Rebels of Darkness III, Chapter 14
“Who wants to go first?” the hawkish woman canvassed the crowd as she stood before a large pyre.
“I will!” a man volunteered. He held up a picture book and asserted, “The title is ‘You and Me,’ and it has two kids of different races holding hands! Apparently, it’s trying to teach kids about equality!”
The hawkish woman commanded, “Burn it!”
Someone in the crowd objected, “But that was written after segregation so kids would learn to get along with everyone!”
“And, how is that working out? Crime and disease are up, so how has integration benefited our society at all?” The hawkish woman stared at her sharply to see if she had the audacity to challenge her statement, and she appeared so flabbergasted by the racist implications of what the hawkish woman uttered that she became at a loss for words. The hawkish woman smirked as though she won that argument, and then she reissued her previous command, “Burn it!”
“That’s just wrong!” Gwynivara whispered to Kierram as they watched the scene from a distance. The man hurled the book into the fiery heap. Gwynivara had never read that publication, but it was heartwrenching to watch it disintegrate in the heat! It was a piece of art, so it felt like she was watching someone’s soul burn!
The hawkiwsh woman petitioned the populace, “Who’s next?”
A lady raised a novel above her head and proclaimed, “This is a story about a freed slave! She’s treated horribly still, and I’m afraid it’ll teach my kids that our ancestors were villains!”
“Burn it!” the hawkish woman repeated herself.
“What about this record?” one guy piped up. “It’s by a female artist, and talks about sexual empowerment- it’s pure pornography!”
The hawkish woman shrugged. “Go ahead!”
Kierram winced at this horrible sight. “I can’t watch much more of this! Let’s shut this down now!”
“No! I recognize that woman! She was operating that machine that was altering people’s votes!” Gwynivara glared at her with pure animosity at that memory. She initially blamed herself for the outcome of that event, but she realized that if individuals like that woman hadn’t started it, Gwynivara wouldn’t have been put in such a precarious predicament! As much as she despised that woman and all she stood for, she had absolutely no desire to react to this stunt. “This is a trap! She’s trying to lure the Resistance here so she can ambush us with something dangerous! What they’re doing is disgusting, but it’s not detrimental to us.”
“So, you wanna just leave this alone? Do nothing?” Kierram gazed at the atrocity with abhorrence.
Gwynivara dismally responded, “I wish I could convince each and every one of those fools that what they’re doing is horrible, but some of their minds are far too gone to be saved. Others could get the poison removed, but they’d have to stop ingesting it for it to get out of their system! I think the best course of action for us is to leave them alone and let history judge them for their actions!” Kierram still didn’t like what was going on, but he could see her point and ceded to Gwynivara’s disposition. Gwynivara gave him a supportive smile and gently patted his back. “Come on! Let’s go back to headquarters and-.”
They froze in their footsteps when they heard Phil irately speak up, “What? You don’t like certain ideas, so you think no one else has a right to read about them?”
“We’re reclaiming our future!” the hawkish woman declared with a spiteful delight.
“You’re preventing the next generation from exposure to concepts that contradict your backwards idealism!” Phil vehemently verbalized.
The hawkish woman maliciously grinned at him. “Dear Phil! Dear, dear, dear Phil! You’re already on tenderhooks with your job now- don’t talk your way out of it completely!”
Phil shot back, “Oh, we’ll see how much peril my position is in when I give my boss a great headline to publish!” He took a disposable camera out of his pocket and began snapping photographs of the event. “Say cheese, Briar! I’m sure the general public will totally approve of your little escapade!”
Briar snarled at his activity, and Gwynivara as well as Kierram could tell what was about to ensue. They were hesitant to defend him because they sensed that they would walk straight into the enemy’s web, but they couldn’t allow an innocent man to perish like that. Gwynivara didn’t want to awaken whatever ensnarement that was waiting for them, but she found solace in the possibility of delivering a punishing blow to that she-devil that aided Abigor! It became unclear who would strike first- Briar or Gwynivara, but then…
“No!” an elderly fellow that Gwynivara recognized from the Resistance shouted at Blair. He aimed an incantation at Briar, and Briar fell to the floor! The elderly fellow stood over her and gave her an ultimatum, “Either you leave him alone, or I won’t leave you alone! What’s it gonna be?”
“Hmm… Out of those two options, I pick… secret option three!” She cackled as half a dozen massive men surrounded the elderly fellow. “It looks like we have you completely outnumbered!”
Gwynivara sent a spell that caused one of the men to buckle, and then she relayed to Briar, “Not completely!”
Four of the men aimed jinxes at Gwynivara and Kierram, but they were able to outmaneuver these advances. Two men blocked the elderly fellow from accessing Briar, but he did well in fighting them off. Briar stood there like a queen watching her pawns gallop into war, and although Gwynivara didn’t want her to participate, it irked her that she enjoyed fanning the flames and then watching everything incinerate! Gwynivara sent a cascade of water to two of her opponents, and they flew right into the elderly fellow’s attackers! They nearly tumbled into the inferno, but they managed to save themselves. The elderly fellow was able to nudge them into harm’s path though! For a second, it appeared as though the Resistance had the upper hand…
Briar took on the elderly fellow, and she was doing better than her two underlings combined! Gwynivara wanted to join the elderly fellow, but the demise of their cohorts enraged the two men contending with her and Kierram. They struck with far more voracity than they did previously, and neither of them could escape from the other’s line of sight. The two sides were at a stalemate… until…
“You’re documenting this?” Briar snarled when she noticed Phil using his camera. She became so enraged by this behavior that she overwhelmed the elderly fellow with her sorcery! Phil courageously stood his ground as she marched toward him. She positioned herself to release a jinx on him, and everyone watched helplessly as they witnessed her dark magic pour out…
“Nooooo!” Phil cried out as the elderly fellow barreled himself toward him. With enough speed that no one could stop him, the elderly fellow pushed Phil out of the potentially lethal trajectory, and as Phil got knocked to the floor, the elderly fellow took the brunt of the assault!
Briar laughed maniacally as the elderly fellow lay motionless on the grass. Kierram incapacitated the assistant closest to him, and as he combated the other one, Gwynivara gained some distance so she could lay siege to Briar. Briar sensed her coming, and when she turned around, she gave Gwynivara a malevolent sneer. Gwynivar didn’t care how much confidence Briar possessed, she was determined to defeat her! She prepared herself to emit a powerful hex, but then…
To Gwynivara’s astonishment, Briar disappeared! The last remaining henchman followed suit, and for a moment, Gwynivara’s adrenaline was still bubbling, so it took her a lengthy stretch to register what had just transpired. Once Kierram wrapped his arm around her shoulder, she wanted to sob! Her foe ran away from the foray, but she still technically won because she fled using the one skill she had yet to master! But, she could hardly feel sorry for herself at that juncture… She and Kierram hurried over to Phil and the elderly man’s location, and she inquired, “How are they?”
“He’s got a concussion,” the gal who objected to the destruction of that children’s book replied as she indicated to Phil. “Somebody already called an ambulance, they’re en route now!”
“And him?” Kierram referred to the elderly fellow. The gal bit her lip, but preceding her giving a grim pronouncement…
The men in black manifested into the vicinity and enveloped Kierram and Gwynivara with a force field! Gwynivara irritatedly groaned, “Again? Ugh, this is getting old!” And, with that, they vanished from those quarters.
A studly dude stood in the wings of a stage and watched a trio of divas singing among bright lights and flashy set pieces. It wasn’t really his style of music, but it made him beam because everyone was having such a good time. His manager stared at him in disapproval, but he felt no need to prep for his turn- he had been doing this for so long that he could do an entire concert at the drop of a hat! He didn’t have to do any warmups! He preferred to relax and enjoy himself before a performance, which is exactly what he intended to do…
“Excuse me! This is a restricted area!” his bodyguard suddenly barked.
“To the public, yes! We’re not the public!” Director Kinley flashed his governmental badge, and Susie, Cedric, and Easton all did the same.
The manager eyed the four suspiciously. “What do you want? We go on in two minutes!”
Director Kinley stated, “That’s fine. We just need to speak to Ethan Everett.”
“What’s this about?” the manager probed.
“It’s fine!” Ethan addressed his manager. He strolled up to the four out of curiosity, but when he realized he had to deal with a set of government officials, he got a little daunted. He stood there awkwardly and articulated, “I’m starting to believe you’re not here simply to get my autograph!”
Director Kinley gloomily conveyed to Ethan, “Listen, in the past week, our mission made my family go into hiding and put extra security around my office after I got blitzed by one of their brutes- this is deadly serious!”
Ethan’s eyes grew wide upon hearing that. “I had nothing to do with that!”
“We know!” Susie assured him. “We’re here to make sure no one else has to go through this!”
“Oh! You want my help?” Ethan puzzled in surprise.
Cedric briefed him, “Look, you’re from Baltasund, so you must be aware of what’s going on politically.” Ethan soberly nodded at that reminder. “Well, it’s worse than what you’re aware of! One of his advisors is Rafeneita!”
Ethan reacted in startlement, “Rafeneita? You mean that green chick who tried to kill those people at Rialowe’s rally?”
“Yes!” Easton confirmed. “She has a plan to destroy the world, but she’s gonna start with destroying Baltasund!”
“Is that why Venenatus Sanguis cases have been surging again?” Ethan surmised.
Susie verified this, “Yup! She’s instilling a lot of dangerous policies into the president’s agenda!”
Ethan asked, “That’s awful! But, what does this have to do with me?”
“We need you to speak out against Lucrum!” Cedric urgently answered. “You have a lot of fans who trust you, so if you say he’s bad, he’ll lose some much-needed support!”
“I don’t wanna get involved in politics!” Ethan politely refused. “I’m an entertainer- regardless of their background, I try to reach out to everyone!”
Easton challenged him, “What happens to you if everyone is gone?”
That argument really pulled at his heartstrings, but what they were proposing wasn’t as seamless as they made it sound. “You want me to criticize Lucrum… What sort of peril does that put me in?” The four shifted in a rather rueful fashion, and he grimaced as he inferred their response. “I don’t think I can do this!”
“You’re on in thirty seconds!” a stagehand notified Ethan.
“Just consider it!” Director Kinley pleaded. Ethan remained noncommittal to their cause, and as he sang a lively tune, a gnawing feeling remained at the pit of his stomach…
Lucrum stormed into the studio where a group of panelists were in the midst of having a discussion. They blinked in startlement at his sudden appearance, and one of them shakily greeted him, “Mister President! Welcome to the Patriot Network! America’s favorite right-!”
With his tangerine skin turning beet red, Lucrum roared, “I want him arrested!” He thrust a newspaper onto their table, and the panelists were dumbfounded to view a headline about Ethan Everett railing against Lucrum at a full arena! The president seemed serious about this ludicrous notion, and nobody could unearth a method of transforming this insanity into a sensible scheme…
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