There is little doubt that the woman controls sex in a relationship:
If you ask anyone in a modern-day world about who holds the sexual ‘power’ in a relationship, the majority of people would say it’s the one with the pussy… the female. Because she’s the one who (normally) controls what and when anything is happening to her vagina.
Women will ask the “how do I get what I want from the sex”. There are many articles & books on the “how-to”. One erotic example is in the stories of Henrietta Soto Doctors Orders . The setting: Dr. Teagan is looking for someone to get her off while doing rounds at a hospital. She lures nurse Maddox into an unused room.
She bites his lip to signal her needs and declares it. He asks her how will she let him put his mouth on her body.
He asks her permission to slip her panties off.
He went directly to her clit.
She orders him to make her come.
He used his fingers and tongue to bring her close to the edge.
She would punish him if he didn’t please her. We get a hint of their D/s relationship.
Even though she dominates him, he administers pain to her to intensify the sensation.
She lets him know when he’s getting his thrusts correct and demands he perform.
………………………
She wants him to come also.
……………………………………………………
She suggests they meet up when they both have a day off and will send him her home address. He appears at her doorway.
She suggests that she’s ready to play but he must first kneel and submit to her.
…………………………………………
She rewards his act of submission and sees that he becomes aroused.
She likes his obedience to her as she inspects him.
………………………………………
He vows his obedience to her. She wonders if she could tease his nipples.
He accidentally attempts to dominate her. She informs him that this is not allowed. He apologizes and retreats his hands.
..
She makes him stay still as she plays with his body and makes him think she will have sex with him as a favor.
She applies tease and denial to increase his arousal.
He continues to worship her body and bites her nipples to combine pain with erotic arousal.
She requires him to please her they way she prefer before she gives him any reward.
…………………………………………..
He combines a stimulation of her nerves with a sharp jolt of pain. He tells her he could do this all day. He was working her up to begging him to enter her. When he didn’t
She can control his worship of her body until she begs him to enter her.
…………………………………
He twists her fingers in her and puts her over the edge. He confirms that he wants what she wants.
She needed release as she rode him.
…………………………………………
He lets her know that he likes her ordering him.
She demands that he come. After that, she says she would like to do more. He agrees.
She’s thrilled that he’s willing to take more orders from her. Could this occasional hookup be the start of a femdom relationship?
Is Femdom only about Fetish wear, whips and chains? As many of Soto’s short stories illustrate, femdom relationships can exist with ordinary people such as the Doctor & Nurse in this story without fetish wear and BDSM toys. When women complain that the sex isn’t good, maybe they could explore being in control of the situation to get what they like.
The pearl-clutching gatekeepers constantly advise women from being a fetish dispenser and claim they know the “one true way”. Rarely do they mention how the more common people can achieve the same thing.
If Fat Mike revealed his deep S&M lifestyle, should you?
Mistress Scarlet in her post article Coming out as submissive suggests that if we regard male submission as a sexuality, then coming out would be accepted similarly to gay couples living together.
Mike of the NOFX band ” is a staunch advocate for the BDSM community, has kept a dungeon for 20 years, and is proud as hell.”
Mike says:
Well, it’s my lifestyle. You could talk to a gay person and say “you just love being gay, don’t ya?” I’m not saying you’re born with it, but the first shit I ever jerked off to was definitely kinky shit. I’ve done it my whole life, and now …I’m living with a dominatrix. …it’s our lifestyle.I haven’t always been open but I always felt lucky that there was something in my life that I felt passionate about. I think most people don’t feel that way about sex. …I’ve had a dungeon in my house for the past 20 years.
I think it should be talked about. It should be out in the open because people don’t enjoy their desires enough. You’re allowed to do whatever the fuck you want as long as it’s consensual. You might as well live out your fantasies and not be ashamed of it.
SPIN: The inspiration behind “Fuck Euphemism” is obviously very clear, but what do you want people to take away from this song about you being a crossdressing kinkster? Fat Mike: I think it’s a very important song for the conversation with the trans community and the LBGT community. I consider myself queer and a part of it, so I can sing a song like this. I live a BDSM lifestyle and I’m a crossdresser, so it did bother me when people were calling me a cis male. I like the whole thing of defining yourself using your own terms, because I’m a punk rocker first, and then a submissive crossdressing male. The transgender community and the gay community are taking a stance on how we want to be known, and I’m going to be known as a certain way. – https://tinyurl.com/2e47bud3
If Fat Mike “comes out”, should others? Sub guys are vulnerable to criticism from both gay and straight communities. An outed sub male can expose himself to many attacks from opportunistic bullies.
Miss Scarlet says:
The next step for our community is for people coming out as submissive, AND in an FLR. So many problems would fall away if submissiveness was treated as a sexuality, which it is. But it is not treated as such by society. Like gay males, submissives do not choose to be submissive, but they are. It is their sexuality.
A person’s sexuality, or sexual orientation, determines whom they do or do not feel attraction toward. This attraction is typically sexual or romantic.
Sexual attraction describes a person’s desire to have sex or form a sexual relationship with other people. It often also describes physical attraction, or lack thereof, toward others.
Although News provides an extensive list of types of sexualities, it does not include BDSM. The closest match for a dominant-submissive relationship would be Demisexual. In Demisexual strong emotional attachment is necessary for the sexuality. Submissives contend that they have a strong sexuality with a submissive relationship to a dominant.
Scarlett claims that most submissive males know their sexuality before puberty. Women have to lern or somehow acquire a dominant personality (often from submissives, but also in the pro-domme industry).
When an individual is submissive in the bedroom, they are open to the idea of being told what to do and suspending their own free will and/or decisions, especially as they pertain to sexual acts and sexual pleasure.
A dominant individual in the bedroom will prefer to take control of their partner while in bed.
Dominant partners may enjoy commanding their partner to complete sexual acts or even completing a variety of tasks in a consensual manner.
common traits and behaviors that you are likely to notice in a man who is submissive outside of the bedroom, such as:
Avoiding the opportunity to take the lead
Awaiting input and/or direction from others in their life, including their romantic partners
Avoiding confrontation at all costs, even to the detriment of their own wants and needs
The desire to be told what to do and to be led by their romantic partner
Submissive behavior and the willingness to submit to their partner’s whims over their own
Prefers to take the backseat in decision-making as well as in the workplace (in some cases)
Complete and total submission of their body and will, especially when they are extremely turned on
The desire to please you with disregard for their own sexual pleasure
Requesting to be tied up, bound, or controlled in some form or another during sexual acts
A willingness to try and explore new sexual acts or experiences, especially if he has the opportunity to act as the submissive in the scenario
How is male submission as a lifestyle different from bedroom bdsm?
A sign that a guy is a likely lifestyle submissive is his unhappiness and disappointment when his dominant is unhappy
And the actual moment when he knew, actually understood, that not only was I going to inflict pain on him, but that he had no choice, no say! When I struck him I experienced a searingly hot rush of sexual heat. My blood seemed to fizz. Everything changed instantly for both of us – from that day onwards he was a fearful, wary individual living with a frightening unpredictable animal.
Miss Isobel Devi @MissIsobelDevi · Nov 25 My love language is male suffering.
Miss Pearl does autumn. ?????? @OMissPearl · Nov 23 He said he finally succumbed and came just to make the cycle of electrocuting his cock and then edging him stop. I would run the wand along the head of his cock and the underside of the flare, until his erection flagged a bit, then put him through another milking cycle.
READ PINNED (814€/2000€) @syntheticdoll_ · Nov 13 face slapping and caressing their face after just to slap them harder and call them a good girl/boy. simple but hot.
dominatricks ?? @IRuleSubsDrool · Nov 12 What’s the point of having sex with a man if you can’t slap him in the face and feel him get harder inside you
bungrim ? Depraved Lagomorph ? 18+ @mammon_inc · Oct 30 Still, I lay down over your lap, suppressing a flinch when your hand came down… to gently cup my rear.
“I’m sure you’re wondering if you did something wrong. You didn’t.”
You felt me relax.
“But I realized… I miss this.”
Your hand lifted and came back down, hard.
bungrim ? Depraved Lagomorph ? 18+ @mammon_inc · Oct 30 Replying to @mammon_inc The reaction to that still hadn’t been trained out, and I whined in just the way you had missed.
“Therefore I have decided on a new rule for you. ‘Whenever they want, Master and anyone Master designates to have this right may spank you for as long as they wish’.”
I gasped.
“It’s a nice rule, right?”
I didn’t respond, only lowering my face into the cushion.
“I like it, I’m sure you’ll grow to accept your new role as punching bag~ Now…”
You raised your hand again.
“Let’s see if you still remember how to cry!”
The sound echoed, and I remembered
By the end of my first “discipline maintenance” as you decided to call them, the pillow had two dark spots where my tears had fallen, the mascara you had me put on every day was running down my cheeks, and my ass was bruised a deep, dark purple.
“Wasn’t that nice?”
I nodded, shakily.
“Now now, not so quiet. Tell me you liked it~”
“T-thank you, Master; I love being disciplined by you.”
“Tell me you missed it.”
“I… I missed you making me hurt, making sure I remember that I’m just a toy for you.”
“Good pet, now… Tell me you love me.”
“I love you so much~” For once, I didn’t need to lie to obey.
We smiled at each other, you with a small cut on your lip from where you’d bitten it as you hit me, me with my face a mess of tears and running make-up.
“Thank you for being such a good pet for me, now come along. I want you sitting in my lap ALL afternoon!”
My eyes widened, my rear was in no shape to sit on anything…
“And for every time you squirm, you’ll get a hit from the riding crop after I clock out!”
I swallowed, hard.
I mean sure, giving head is fun and a wonderful way to serve your owner, but giving head while they tease you with one of their feet between your legs? Slow strokes, cruel pressing and harsh kicks intermingling as they play around with you for their own entertainment?
and i am very weak. @luenlewd · Feb 28 i want to get you to kneel on the floor and put my thumb in your mouth. grab your chin with my thumb pressing down on your tongue and move your head around. examine your chin line, your cheeks, hair, nose shape, everything. make you feel your own lack of control
and i am very weak. @luenlewd · Jan 6 Replying to @luenlewd sitting on his chest. the lower half of his body is restrained and i can put my body weight on his arms to easily restrain the rest of his limbs. a power position andd also very intimate
and i am very weak. @luenlewd · Dec 7, 2021 grab your hair and gently pull your head back until it’s slightly uncomfortable. then take two of your fingers and put them right under your chin next to your throat. thats where i will kiss you. where your jugular beats.
and i am very weak. @luenlewd · Nov 13, 2021 Replying to @luenlewd wrists behind back and rigged to neck rope is super hard the rhythmic moan that starts when they sink under. the signal of surrendering their control. having him at my feet while i work
i love putting my fingers into their mouths and making them gag.
Hello readers! I am back! What does back mean? Back means that I am committing (again) to keep this blog going, and doing more than Insecure Writer’s Support Group and TMI Tuesday. Don’t worry, those aren’t going anywhere, but I want to get some more fiction out to you. So for NaNoWriMo last month, I decided to write some long-form fiction for you. I would say I aimed to write short stories, but we all know I can’t do that. It’s physically impossible for me to write something super short. So we’ll see how long it goes. The nice thing about serial fiction is that I don’t have to worry about how short or long it is. (I think my ideal length in general is novella length anyway.) So here is the first Chapter of my yet untitled story (let me know what you think of Determined Dominatrix). I’d tell…
Each month, Richard and I are going to journal about a different word, inspired by Marquessa Matthews. This month is Acceptance.
Acceptance
I have struggled with acceptance of who I am my entire life. From my weight (too high) to my height (too short) to my kinks (too extreme) to my sexuality (too broad), I have never been able to accept myself for who I am.
I have worked hard to change that. I am blessed to have a partner (Richard) who believes in me, accepts me (and loves me) for who I am, and supports me to support myself. I don’t know how or why, but I have begun to accept myself for who I am. I have tried for a long time, but it’s clicking now, pieces falling into place. I am accepting myself as I am and changing the things about me that I don’t like…
guys will compare their size to other guy’sMen fear women who will size them upSome men think size is their best assetsome guys are comfortable with their sizeother guys hardly notice for some guys, size is a measure of their masculinity
An interesting post explains how women react to size and alternative ways of sexual satisfaction
for some guys, size is just a part of the package
A penis becomes attractive when it’s attached to someone who’s attractive in other ways, or when it’s about to bring someone pleasure. Women may prefer a hung guy for a hookup but will settle for an average sized guy for a LTR.
some guys come up short in the size department
Guys with diminutive dicks may need to be more creative with their hands and tongue. A youtube video discusses size attractiveness.
Men who have sex with other men view size differently than men who have sex with women.
Justin Lehmiller noted that the size of gay men is greater than straight men.
Men with below average penises were significantly more likely to identify as “bottoms” (anal receptive) and men with above average penises were significantly more likely to identify as tops (anal insertive). …men with below average penises fared significantly worse than other men on three measures of psychosocial adjustment.
Size needed for prostate stimulus. Many guys are discovering the pleasure from the stimulation of their prostate. Pegging or use of anal toys or anal sex are the more popular methods used. Below, a diagram of the location of the prostate gland. It can be reached digitally (i.e. with fingers), or with various toys.
Guys who like PIA prefer a size that can tap the prostate gland.
Prostate toys vs. anal sex.
There are 2 schools of thought: toys have greater flexibility than pegging with rigid dildos. Others claim that anal sex is more physically satisfying.
Though prostate stimulation and anal sex can both involve anal penetration, the two sex acts are totally different. Internal prostate stimulation takes a softer touch and involves more precise movements and smaller implements, such as fingers or small toys, rather than dildos or penises. Because a penis or dildo doesn’t have as much range of motion as smaller toys or fingers do, it’s difficult to effectively massage the prostate with them.
If guys are looking for PIA (penis in anus) with other guys, length and girth are important. Length is needed to reach the prostate. Girth is useful for stimulating the anal opening which has a concentration of nerves.
Quora has a discussion of size considerations for anal sex.
Psychology of size
Male anxiety may be driven, at least in part, by penis size preferences that men assume women have. The fact is that men who are dissatisfied with the size of their penis report more problems with their sexual health and have lower sexual self-esteem. (1)
men [with BDD] are absolutely adamant in their conviction that their genitalia are too small. They insist that they have measured themselves and seem inordinately focused on such measurement. They are similarly convinced that they are incapable of pleasing a woman via intercourse, although they are, by and large, not able to cite much evidence to show that this is true. In fact, many of these men admit to having had few or no sexual experiences. There is an implication that some of the few sexual experiences had by some of these men were with prostitutes. Many may have had only a single sexual encounter. Others state that they avoid sexuality entirely as they feel deeply ashamed of their penis size. All of these men affirm the belief that women would universally treat them with contempt if they were to see them nude.
Men with BDD are more likely to have erectile dysfunction and less satisfaction with intercourse than controls but maintain their libido.
Men with BDD and SPA were more likely than the controls to attempt to alter the shape or size of their penis (for example jelqing, vacuum pumps or stretching devices) with poor reported success.
“I’ve talked to men who have never even approached anyone for a romantic relationship because they don’t believe anyone would be interested in them because of their size. I’ve talked to men who have attempted suicide because of their size.”
Sensual femdom is best explained by the stories of those who practice it.
Setup: Mandy and Parker rent a beachside cottage with a deck that is exposed to the ocean and strollers. Parker kneels by Mandy as she collars him and attaches a lead. He is aroused by a pegging scenario.
Mandy arouses Parker when she tops himShe confirms that he is aroused by pleasuring her.
men need to feel convinced that renderings of the woman’s arousal aren’t fake but a representation of actual sexual excitement
she demonstrates her possession of him by collaring
“a BDSM collar is the symbolism of ownership of the dom of the sub. It shows that the sub is under the complete command and control of the dom/master. In other words, when a sub is bound by a collar, s/he is bound to obey everything the master desires or orders the sub to do.”
he wants to show her his devotion and submission “Make them beg for more attention…and have them do so for a while before you give in. Since this type of domination is gentle and nurturing the only pain they should feel in this activity is the overwhelming torture of wanting to be close to you.” – https://tinyurl.com/2neaumgrshe becomes aroused by hearing his reaction to her administration of pain. “The more pleasure you provide, the more pain your partner will be able to take. You can use this to your advantage to increase your partner’s…tolerance to pain and even to condition yourself to enjoy it.” – https://tinyurl.com/2hdhjj5khe offers her the opportunity to show his submission to her to others. A dominant woman doesn’t want a sub that is ashamed of his preference or their relationship…If you judge yourself and your desires, she will think you’re doing this to her. Be proud to be submissive. – https://tinyurl.com/2qqzogwx
This short story illustrates a “hedonistic” femdom relationship. Parker tries to be the best “sub” he can be. Mandy encourages Parker to pleasure her while she is directing and controlling the activity. Parker is aroused by pleasing Mandy. They explore sensual femdom together in a sexual submissive relationship where “the dominant person is taking charge and giving sexual orders to the submissive partner” ( https://tinyurl.com/47hsx9r8 )
Sensual domination, or loving domination, is a D/s relationship where instead of relying on degrading statements and acts to ‘prove’ their worth to their Dominant, they perform acts of service in order to receive praise and affection from their Dominant.
this type of play uses the body’s senses as a way to arouse and provide stimulation. During sensation play, an altered state is induced by over stimulating or depriving the use of one or more of your partner’s senses — touch, sight, taste or hearing
The best erotica for a guy is what gets him off. Does the libidinous impulse translate to real life? Can your partner really do as well as your fantasy?
Dean rents out his spare bedroom to Tara. Tara relaxes in his apartment and shows some skin. Dean gets aroused. Tara finds him getting off with her underwear. She senses his submissive side and seduces him with her dominance.
his arousal shows her that he likes to be dominatederotica involves a buildup and a release of sexual tensionThe first reaction to his libido is deniallibido is enhanced by a tease and promise if he would do what she wantedAs libido wanes he vacillates between what he really wants and what it will take to get ithis libido reasserts itself as she reminds him of his deeper needhis mind hesitates but his desires overrides his reluctance to go forward with herhis body capitulates to his desires
The erotic catharsis happens, his mind is cleared of doubts. If he repeats this experience many times with her, will he commit and continue to live with her?
In the end, Tara controls the sex with Dean her way by arousing him through her domination.
A short story about how Tara moves in with Dean. As roommates, she lives in his apartment scantily clad, while he steadily gets the hots for her. She finds him with her underwear and orders him to please her, discovering what makes him aroused: “deep down you want me to take control…you want to be disciplined…you need to obey what I tell you”. The story ends with a mutually enjoyable climax. As a short story it lacks dominance between Tara and Dean, but as erotica it gets to the point quickly. Unlike typical erotica, it has just one small typo (“food” for “foot”) and is well written. Try this sampler and watch for other writing from this author.
Underwear does more than keep your privates bouncing around all over the place. Underwear has become a fashion statement that may attract your partner in intimate settings
Underwear can be useful for hanging out during casual intimate encounters
11 REASONS WHY MEN SHOULD WEAR UNDERWEAR INSTEAD OF GOING COMMANDO
Here are 11 reasons you should keep wearing underwear instead.
YOU’LL LESS LIKELY SUFFER FROM CHAFING DOWN THERE
Chafing is a skin irritation that occurs when skin repeatedly rubs against skin or clothes. You’re putting yourself at risk of irritating your boys every time you go commando. The fabric of your pants, jeans, or shorts could be abrasive to your groin. Such clothes aren’t usually designed to be particularly gentle on this sensitive body part, unlike underwear.
As a second layer of clothing, underwear also serves as a barrier between your groin and the potentially irritating material, ensuring your package remains safe.
YOU’LL LESS LIKELY SUFFER FROM CROTCH ROT
Officially called tinea cruris, crotch rot is a skin infection caused by wearing tight or wet clothes. As long as you keep yours clean, wearing underwear reduces your risk of getting crotch rot. Underwear absorbs sweat well, unlike pants, jeans, and shorts in general, keeping your boys dry.
Some underwear is made of sweat-wicking fabric (e.g., modal, micro modal, Tencel) which absorb and make sweat evaporate easily. Wearing such underwear greatly reduces your risk of getting crotch rot.
YOU’LL LESS LIKELY HAVE PARTICULARLY EMBARRASSING SWEAT STAINS Apart from absorbing sweat well, underwear acts as a second layer of clothing that traps and prevents your sweat from staining your pants, jeans, or shorts.
YOU’LL AVOID UNWITTINGLY FLASHING SOMEONE
You never know when you’ll want to dance for a friend
YOU WON’T HAVE TO CHOOSE THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR MORE CAREFULLY THAN USUAL
To avoid unwittingly showing more than you’d like, always wear underwear.
In case your pants fall down…you’ll be protected by your underwear
YOU’LL MAKE CERTAIN OTHER ACCIDENTS LESS EMBARRASSING
Clothes become fragile if you keep them for many years. Old clothes could break anytime. How mortifying it will be if your pants suddenly split in public. It won’t be so awful if you were wearing underwear. To be safe, always wear some.
YOU’LL LESS LIKELY HAVE A VISIBLE WET SPOT
How many times have you tried to shake your willy dry but still have a few drops in your drawers? You might’ve lost count already. There are many ways to avoid having this accident but men still suffer from it. It will get worse with age. To avoid unwittingly staining your front, always wear underwear.
YOU’LL LESS LIKELY HAVE AN EXPOSED LEAK
Junior isn’t your only body part that leaks. So does your derriere. It’s called accidental bowel leakage (ABL). Incontinence, old age, and certain ailments, and food cause ABL. The discharge will show if you go commando, so to save yourself from having such a humiliating accident, always wear underwear.
YOU’LL TRULY BE COMFORTABLE
Advocates of going commando swear it’s much more comfortable than wearing underwear. But many people say you have to get used to it first, so their claim isn’t entirely true.
YOU COULD LOOK EVEN SEXIER
Going commando leaves you with nothing but your own devices for seduction if you get lucky. No matter how hot you are, you could offend your partner if you come to the party with no drawers. Some people think it’s creepy.
if you’re gonna party…wear some underwear!be sure your underwear covers your buttguys! where’s the party??if it’s pants optional…be sure to have your underwear onyou may need your underwear to attract someone shake that thing!choose underwear that lets your privates hang out comfortably
Underwear Fashions
maybe you’ll want underwear that matches your partnerbasic wear for everyday usematch her bikinistretch to fita tasteful way to display your packageunderwear to flatter your derrièrecowboys can be fashionablecowboys prefer ‘tighty-whities’ for the ranch…but cowboys will dress up occasionallycowboys may need some support when riding
There is also underwear designed to enhance your goods. An example is bulge-enhancing briefs. You can’t enjoy the benefits of such underwear if you decide to stop wearing underwear.
YOU’LL MAKE FOREPLAY EVEN BETTER
There is also underwear that lets you do role-play in the bedroom. An example is an underwear for go-go boys. Wearing such underwear will be great for a sultry show for your partner, which is sure to spice things up. Doing away with underwear leaves you with no opportunity to have such fun. How boring is that?
be sure to wear your underwear when you strip for your partner
Men’s underwear has to keep you comfortable from sunup to after dark. Function and support are key. However, a well designed, stylish set of underwear can set you apart. They can turn heads if they peak out at the club or about town. They can boost your confidence when you’re feeling down. Everyone in the world is faking it until they make it; don’t downplay the importance of looking and acting the part! Invest in your confidence and style from the foundation up. Amazing clothes over sagging old briefs isn’t going to make you feel like a new man every morning. Get men’s underwear that can stand up to your expectations.
Guys often wonder about the eternal question: boxers, briefs or trunks
The answer to the question «Boxers, trunks or briefs?» has therefore been multiple and contradictory. It is a symptom of an ongoing rewriting of male identity and aesthetics that is unhinging those prescribed categories that made briefs something at once old-fashioned, effeminate, and vulgar; classic boxers the epitome of masculinity; and trunks the unmemorable middle ground. It is precisely the latter category that remains the most popular: according to projections in a 2019 report, the trunks and boxer briefs were by far the best-selling category in the world as well as the one with the highest growth. It’s a type of performance that fits well with Aaron Gell’s definition of tight-fitting boxers in the pages of Hemispheres magazine in 2010, namely «one of the greatest apparel revolutions of the century». When they exploded in the early ’90s, thanks to Calvin Klein and his menswear director John Varvatos, boxer briefs were the middle ground between boxers, comfortable but associated with the lower classes, and the classic but outdated briefs, linked as much to the Boomer generation as to queer culture. A first example of these tight-fitting boxer briefs, in fact, had already appeared in 1980 with the cult movie American Gigolo in which Richard Gere wore a pair of short, semi-adherent boxer briefs designed by Giorgio Armani that became immediately popular at the time.
dave94015 