Hi, and welcome to my blog. I’m a 40 something year old, whose life is a little chaotic. I guess with the current world situation I’m not alone. I feel as though I can see where I want to be, but have to wade through thick mud to get there.

Almost 6 months ago I resigned from my job. I was earning good money making around 80k a year. As well, I was a wife, a Mum of five mostly grown children, a business supporter, a home renovator, the chef, the cleaner, the life planner, the holiday maker, the wedding co-ordinator for our family, the dog feeder, the payroll lady, the driving instructor, the travel agent and basically anything else you could throw into the mix.

I left my job because my husbands businesses were growing and he needed me to help him and do all the admin and finance to keep it afloat, to move states with him, and to be with him full time. I had previously been helping nights, weekends etc. So I resigned because after 5 years, I couldn’t do them both any longer. I didn’t end up leaving my position till the end of January though… and by that time, I was done. Exhausted would be an understatement. Burnt out is a better description. Disappointed. Disillusioned. Angry. Resentful. Bitter. Wanting to run and hide from the world. Sick. Overworked. Unappreciated.

Somewhere in the time between October and January, I decided this wasn’t the life I wanted. I told my husband on our 25th wedding anniversary cruise that I didn’t think I wanted to be with him any more, but I didn’t want to make any rash decisions when I wasn’t feeling good. I made it through our son’s wedding, helped hubby get a house in the other state, and I slept. Probably 4 times a day to start with. I went on a holiday alone (BLISSFUL!!!), and my resolve has only gotten stronger. I need to look after me.

So months after resigning, I find myself in an unusual spot, in an unusual year. 2020, who would have thought! I started it having an argument with hubby, and who knows how it will end. I have been trying to find me. Trying to find my voice again. I am unemployed, unmotivated, and trying to escape a life I desperately don’t want, because I’ll be damned if I will spend the next 25 years doing what someone else wants me to, when its nothing I want. The years go way too fast for that.

So here I am. Navigating life. Choosing me. Working through this the only way I know how – by writing it all out. So feel free to read along as I work on this separation, as I find employment, contemplate moving away, and as I find myself, find my voice and begin to create a life that I want to embrace.

If you asked me six months ago where I would be, I would have told you in the other state, just hubby and I, locked in, but life is so much different. I’m scared, I’m excited, but most of all I know this journey will have a lot of humps and bumps, but the end has to be better than the beginning.

❤