A Traumatised Mind…
in a Broken Body
I’m Just Me.
DelphineMusic
.a.k.a. LeliBug Vaeda
• Geek • Goth • Gamer • Nerd • Coffeeholic •
• Techaholic • Unofficial Tech-Support •
• Unofficial Web Admin • PC Rig Builder
• [Former] IT Contractor Data Analyst •
• Writer • Blogger • Reader • CoverArt Creator •
• Artistic • Animal Lover • Autistic •
• Wiccan • Wheelchair Whizzer •
• Soprano-Trained Classical Singer •
Singer-Songwriter •
• [Former] Theatre Performer •
LIVING WITH
• Functional Neurological Disorder [FND] •
• Severe Fibromyalgia • Chronic Pain •
• Chronic Illness • Fatigue • Alexithymia • Asthma •
• Hemiplegic Migraine • Vestibular Migraine •
• Pompholyx (dyshidrotic eczema) •
• IBS • Suprapubic (SP) Catheter •
• Von Willebrand’s Disease • Dysphagia •
• Long COVID •
• Psychological Illness • Depression • CPTSD & PTSD •
• Agoraphobia • Social-Phobia • Hyper-Vigilance •
• Extreme/Severe Social Anxiety & Distress •
• Panic Attacks •
MAJOR AUTISTIC BURNOUT
So… Not Much, Really….(?!)
Latest Blogs
When the BlackOuts Never Fade
For the last few days, the BlackOuts have become Relentless – Again… But what’s worse This Time is that The Dysphagia is coming back. Again.
It’s been a Long While since Constant Aspirating was a genuine Problem. Now it’s been happening Continuously. With the…
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Setting Foot… Wheelz… Outside. Again.
A “day out” doesn’t mean having a nice time “out somewhere” with people, enjoying yourself and taking a well-deserved break from your life, or the world that you live in…
No – it means days or weeks being nothing but ill, in PAIN,…
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Blank Mess of Days
BlackOuts have been PREVAILING. They Dictate & CLAIM/STEAL My Time — obnoxious, overpowering, relentlessly unrelenting.
Regardless…. I am SO SO SO Freaking DESPERATE to get back to my Normal… To Games. Writing. Website stuff and Graphic Artistry… Properly — with Choice, deliberation, passion and…
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Blackout Mode
Yesterday was a BAD BlackOut Day. One of several this week – although you wouldn’t have forseen it – the Isobars were fairly normal and “safe”, the weather was “a bit shit” but nothing out of the ordinary. I stopped eating Carb food ……
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Spoons Vs Life
Forget being able to get up, or walk around. Forget cooking, cleaning, chores. Forget any kind of work or hobbies. Get the dog a treadmill and hook it up to Alexa to make it work, and get an Alexa Coffee Machine to put on…
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Food & Weather =BlackOuts Central…
Turns out that… Food is absolutely 100% resposible to many of my BlackOuts. The reaction is almost immediate – and these BlackOuts probably the worst. It’s overwheliming to know that, once again, food is directly involved in somthing wholly Negative. Detrimtal. As if it…
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Nothing To… Something?
And now I’m just Dead Inside wondering WHY I KEEP TRYING to DO things…
Have to RELY on people to TAKE ME PLACES. TO EAT. SHOP. COOK. GET DRESSED. GET MY PAD CHANGED. TIDY OR CLEAN MY ROOM. TAKE OUT THE TRASH FROM THE…
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Aftermath
I’m no better but at least I don’t seem to be any worse…? Spasms in legs went yesterday – now they’re even more Useless than usual, and I can’t do almost ANYTHING, because they’re not back. I have nothing but the very top part…
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Crappy Birthday me
Was thinking at the time… Oh, Come On — I’ve got to DO THIS, Even On My Birthday….??? …. Whereby, I also realised, It’s not like you can just pick and choose what Medical Conditions and Illnesses you got today just because it’s your…
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anxiety ASD Aspergers asperger syndrome aspie aspirating autism autistic Autistic Burnout Blacking Out blackouts chronic illness chronic pain confused CPTSD depressed Depression disability disabled exhaustion fatigue fibro fibro flareup fibro flare up fibromyalgia Fibroplegia focus Hemiplegic Migraine hope illness isobars isolation mental health mobility NHS Pain pain paraesthesia paresthesia PIP PTSD trauma weather wheelchair writing