The hardest part about saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day.Every day we face the same truth but life is fleeding. “Our time here is short,and that we must our own life well”, I tell myself today as I prepare myself mentality and emotionally to say goodbye to a chapter in my life.

I’ve always had a mental image that I would be happy, successful and financially independent by the time I turned 25. Now as the clock ticks and 2008 comes to an end, many things has yet come to past, and it worries me a little.Today I feel like a grieving loss of the old me. Saying goodbye to a part of me, and moving on with the next phase in life.This year I told myself that “It’s not about counting the years, but making the years count” , and I understand I have to look forward with beaming hope.
Looking back at this whole year, “it felt like a roller coaster”. Alot of unexpected , alot of changes took place and many of it I felt helpless, as I have no say in the outcome. This year I turned 25-an age, a number which I fear. Maybe I expected alot from myself, but I deep down it didn’t felt any difference, I don’t think I looked older , or have significantly made an impact and contribution to this world but one thing I see differently is the way I react. I felt in baby steps I have learned to live life a little more care free, a little less rigid. I wonder if I’m supposed to be at this age.
This year, I have many things I wished to thank God for:
-That my family and friends are safe and well.
-My Job in the university as an Account Officer. In this short 6 months, I earned myself a little small promotion from HEO 4 Level 1 to a HEO 5 Level 1.
-The friendships I have gained this year.
-Being able to see dear friends tied their love knots…
Nevertheless, with the ups, there is always the down side. This year, someone dear to me lost my respect for him and everything in between with the friendship. I have been hurt before , it took me many years, but little steps I felt I got better, stronger but this year, the hurt was intensed, I wonder if I could ever be able to let this rage and anger in me dissappear. I wouldn’t like to admit here but I know this time, I’m letting go everything-the friendship and the emotions. I felt I should have made this decision earlier, not because of what is proven to date but if I knew how great the damage is to my life.Somehow in the midst of it all, I finally felt like I’ve done myself some justice. I might sound like a bulletproof vest, building up all my defenses right now, but underneath it all, I feel the pain and I am telling myself, to toughen it up, to wipe away the tears, put on the armour and look forward because my life cannot just stop here in this moment, there is still more…I have to believe in it. I’m doing this for myself now.
I will be Better in Time..
So to 2008 Goodbye. Goodbye to the good and the bad and I give God all the Glory for everything in 2008 and to 2009 I place this brand new year into your hands.
Happy New Year to you!
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