Likeness is normal

Last week I wrote a blog post called Difference is normal. I wrote it because it seems to me that we are all different from each other in so many ways, and even though being different is normal, we hold each other at arms length because of perceived differences. I was thinking that if we could accept that difference is normal, that maybe we could get on with accepting each other, just as we are, and celebrate those differences as being something that strengthen us as a community. I was thinking that it would be great if realising we all have our differences meant we could accept that difference is normal and maybe have more empathy for other peoples differences. 

I've been doing some more thinking. And it seems to me that we are all alike in one way or another. And I was thinking that it is just as important to realise we are all similar as it is to realise we are all different. 

I was thinking about it after I wrote last weeks post. Then I read a post called Not Different by Brenda from Mama Be Good. After pointing out that her Autistic son needs the same things as any other child-  "..... to play, to have fun, and to feel good about himself.... connection, guidance, and people who get him..." Brenda closes her article by saying "Autism does not equal Different". She is right.

In our difference, there is always similarity. 

You might think this is a contradiction in terms. Let's think about it together.

We may all jump differently, but we are all still jumping.
Photo credit Mell Mallin Photography

I have blue eyes, you have brown eyes. We both have eyes.

I have short hair, you have long hair. We both have hair.

I like chocolate, you like ice-cream. We both like sweet food.

I am interested in psychology, you are interested in mathematics. We both have interests.

I live in Australia, you live in England. We both belong somewhere.

I get worked up about rights for disabled people, you get worked up about dangerous workplace conditions. We are both concerned about justice.

My Son and Daughter are Autistic. My Husband and Daughter are Bipolar. I am neither. We are all people just trying to get along in this world and do our best with what we have, challenges and all. 

Let's recognise our differences. Let's accept them as being normal. Then let's look for our likenesses. They are there. Let's find them and talk about them. Let's focus on ways we can relate to each other instead of looking for excuses to drive wedges between us. 

Difference is normal

I got to thinking this weekend about how we seem to like sameness. You know, we hang out with people who have similar interests as we do. We like to talk to people who hold similar opinions to us. 

A lot of what is reported in the news would seem to confirm we are afraid of situations we are not familiar with and people who seem different than us. 

But really, when you think about it, we are all different from each other in one way or another. In fact we are all different from each other in many ways when we really look into it. 

to have a closer look at this image, click on it

It seems to me that if we are honest with ourselves

difference is normal.

So what are we afraid of?

Normal Memes

I thought it would be fun to jump on the meme bandwagon.....

Normal

Normal, according to my computers dictionary is this-

I guess the words that stand out to me are conforming, usual, typical, and expected. If you want to be picky, my family does not conform to the strict definition of normal because we are not "free from physical or mental disorders". But, I have a different viewpoint. Bear with me while I explain.

I think there are many different kinds of normal. Just like it is normal in France to speak French andnormal in Australia to speak English as those languages are usual, typical and expected in thosecountries. Just like in one house hold it is normal to eat cornflakes for breakfast and in another it isnormal to eat bacon and eggs for breakfast. Just like in my house the normal- usual, typical, expectedbehaviours include mania, depression, sensory overload meltdowns and dependence on routine andpredictability and in your house those things would be out of place. These are normal in our house because we have people diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder and Bipolar Disorder in our family. 
Hence the name of this blog- "different kinds of normal". One of the things that is extremely important to me as a mother to children with disabilities is to do everything in my power to reduce the stigma they face as a result of being different than most people, and to advocate for understanding and acceptance of all people. 
I don't have lots of time. I certainly don't have lots of money. A lot of the time I don't even have much energy left over after doing the things I do in my parenting role. But I do have time and energy to write. It is good therapy for me, as well as being a way to communicate with the world what life is like in our family. 
So, I write. And I hope that somehow my writing reaches people and tells them about our normal and helps them understand that everyone is valuable and has something to offer. I hope that my writing helps to reduce stigma and increase understanding. 
I have been blogging for almost a year at "Amazing Adventures- my journey parenting Autistic children". I have just started blogging at "Being OK with Bipolar". Both of those blogs are linked to this one so you can find everything easily. To read more specifically about Autism or Bipolar just click on the links at the top of the page. Information about Sensory Processing Disorder will mostly be found in the Autism blog because in our family it is my Autistic daughter who has SPD and so the two are tied in together for us. I also write regularly for the Aussie Mum Network, and you can find my posts for them here.
This blog is a linking point for everything that is on my mind, more than anything. It serves as a central place where I can write more generally, while acknowledging the individual aspects that contribute to forming my opinions and influencing my actions. It (hopefully) will tie things together while allowing you as readers to easily pick and choose the things you are most interested in knowing about and finding them quickly. I will post general thoughts on just about any topic, and also post to let you know when new posts are added on the other blogs. That's the plan- let's see how it goes!