“I did it!”
I finally pulled one over on my wife. It took me over 15 years, but I finally broke free from my typical male inability to plan something that is above and beyond what is expected of my type. Although it is not a significant birthday age (a young 34), something clicked inside of my head and told me that “this is the time to do it…I must plan a surprise birthday party for my wife.” Out of nowhere it all came to me, like the planets all aligned at that moment in time. Wham!!! I knew what to do. I was going to plan a wine tour for my wife and a bus load of twenty friends and family. Having gone on a tour once before with some friends, I knew this to be the perfect idea for everyone involved. With the economy sucking monkey balls lately, I figured it would be hard to get people to pony up the $75 charge per person to go on this tour, however, with the included champagne brunch, lunch and obvious designated driver of the bus, it did not take long at all to fill up all twenty spots. The hardest part was going to be keeping this all a secret from the wife.
As time progressed (keep in mind I started planning this two months in advance), I had already planned for an all day babysitter through one of her coworkers. My wife had me volunteer at a work function and I was easily able to get that part covered without making any phone calls. The rest was very difficult. I had to text message numerous people while at work (not leading by example) to make all of the applicable arrangements. Things fell in to place quite well, with only a few fallings out. The replacements came fast. The hardest part was trying to get the money from everyone without Lisa becoming suspect. There were a few times where I almost blew it, but somehow I managed to cover up very quick, with an explanation that made sense. Luckily through all of this, Lisa was extremely busy at work, so she never had a chance to read our phone bill, or else she would have seen all of the text messages.
My wife’s good friend Monica was a savior in being the one to help me make all of the party favors. On my days off, I purchased beads, necklaces, princess charms (irony), and lots of wine glasses and chocolate. Monica made goody bags for all of those involved and had to meet me at work a few times to exchange the ideas and items.
At last the day came. I had persuaded Lisa to talk to her coworker about watching our son for a little bit on Sunday morning, so we could go out for brunch and a short day date. The coworker played it dumb and went right along with it. Lisa had no idea we had already planned for the whole day. I had instructed Monica to text me the moment everyone had arrived. The guests were to arrive and meet in the parking lot at 9 a.m. and the bus would arrive at 9:30 a.m. I received the text about 9:20 a.m. as we were within a mile’s distance. I told Lisa I was receiving a text from the coach of my softball team, thanking me for pitching in our tournament the day before. Lisa was looking forward to breakfast, as I had been lying the whole time about going to some restaurant in Roseville that a coworker of mine had suggested. All of it was made up, but it sounded very good. In fact I was salivating because I kept talking about how I was going to order bacon. Damn it…I never got that bacon!
As we rounded the corner at the stop light, I asked Lisa to hand me the anti-bacterial wipes out of the glove box (there for a reason-we have an 8 yr-old boy), although I had taken them out and put a bottle of Korbel Brut and a champagne glass in there. She looked at the champagne with a puzzled look on her face, and meanwhile I was already pulling into the parking lot. She said, “Why is there only one glass?” I pointed up out of our front windshield and there was a mass of people standing in the parking lot with cameras and beads and every single one of them was freezing their ass off. It was a crystal clear day, but an arctic wind was blowing from the North.
Lisa was utterly amazed and not to my surprise, she leaned over and punched me in the shoulder and proclaimed…you suck!!! She got out of the car and told everybody “holy crap, he did it.” It was a moment that should be recorded in the history books. I actually pulled one over on Lisa. For once in my life I finally did something that required a lot of diligent planning. I even made arrangements through my wine representative to have our lunch at Michael David Vineyards, home to her favorite wines. We have never been there before and they treated us exceptionally well. They gave us bottles of wine to compliment our lunch and had special tables set up in the sun and away from the wind. They also gave us 30% off all of our wines as a birthday gift. It was awesome!
I could not have asked for a better day, as the rest of the trip can be a blog of its own. There was a lot of drinking, laughter, dancing on the bus and even a friend doing a pole dance on the bus in front of my in-laws…ouch!!! The funny thing is that my in-laws had just as much fun as everybody else.
They loved it, I loved it and most of all she loved it!!!
History has been made…
“I did it!”
Ding the Dreaded Imp 