From a Facebook post in October 2025, and below it a post from September 2025.
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I haven’t done much yoga asana practice of late, but I have been doing some reading and studying that has brought me to some interesting places. One thing that I began late last year was to read Gregory Shaw’s book on Iamblichus at the same time as I was reading the Yoga Spandakarika, which is a Tantric text. This was spurred in part by my experience at last year’s Anthesteria when I added a much more Orphic set of practices to the festival (which was the most positive that I’ve ever had doing that festival, Dionysos was extremely pleased). Honestly, thought, at the time that I began reading both texts I didn’t think it would take me far.
Indeed, work and the madness of working for the Federal government earlier this year, and my subsequent retirement and slow attempted recovery, sort of put all of this on the backburner. However, another Ashtangi, Adam Keen, had posted some posts on Instagram earlier this year arguing that Patanjali’s sutras were not a good fit with an Ashtanga practice (or any heavy asana practice, for that matter) and that such practices were more tantric in nature. I found myself agreeing with his reasoning. I then began, independently, to read some more about Iamblichan philosophy, and found parallels between Iamblichan theurgy and tantric practices. I’ve been slowly looking at the similarities and am finding them connected, as well as coming to the conclusion that a tantric practice is a far-better fit for the asana-heavy householder practices that we do. I’ve never been a Patanjali fan, and have soured on yoga philosophy in general for the last few years, so this is refreshing and a slight restoration of faith, so to speak.
Who, I thought recently, would be the Greek philosopher cognate to Patanjali? It would seem that Plotinus fits that bill. In fact I looked this up and I’m not the first to make this comparison. It’s worth exploring more, which I plan to do: the Patanjali/Plotinus vs. Tantra/Iamblichus models, as it were.
Which raised a question; are the Ashtanga yoga practices a form of Iamblichan theurgy? At first glance there are parallels, but I still need to explore this. As part of the exploration I happened to find a possibility in an unexpected place, which was the book “The Twin Horse Gods” by Henry Walker, which discusses the Dioskouroi and the Asvins. Walker, in his discussion of the Asvins mythology in the Rig Veda, then mentions an interpretation of the Asvins duties that was put forward by someone named Yaska, who published something called the Nirukta. I was also reading other parts of the Vedas discussing the Asvins relationship with the Sun, who is called Surya in some places and has a daughter named Surya, which led me to some interesting thoughts on the purpose of Surya Namaskars which we do at the start of the Ashtanga yoga practice. Can these surya namaskars be theurgic? Specifically, if I begin performing them when the Dawn is rising and finish them after the Sun rises, am I essentially helping the Asvins complete some of Their sacred functions? Does it draw me closer to Them? I didn’t get a big “thwap” like the Twins sometimes give to me when I’m on a right track, but have explored this briefly with a good feeling and plan on doing so more.
All of which is leaning me substantially more towards an Iamblichan/Tantric emphasis (and away from a Plontinan/Patanjalian emphasis) on my yoga practice, so long as it has a strong asana component and I’m a householder. If such things exist. More study is needed. It also may help to answer the question of why the Dioskouroi were so insistent, back in 2013, that I keep doing a yoga asana practice.
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I have had near zero desire to do yoga of late. However, also of late I’ve been studying the Asvins as they are presented in the Vedas. Today I ran across a page on IG where the woman indicated that the celebration of Navaratri had a very tantric sense. Also, today I realized that Navaratri occurs in the month of Ashvin, which starts on the new moon around the Autumnal Equinox. I already do celebrations for the Twins on Ostara (with Helen) and Litha (the end of the month of Gemini), but now have something for Mabon. Very cool.
From a February 2025 post on another blog, in part.
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Anthesteria this year was very, very understated. Unlike last year, which was one of the most powerful (if not THE most powerful) that I’ve ever experienced, this one was almost an afterthought. Only one time, when I was swinging in remembrance of Erigone, did I get a sweeping sense of the festival. I was thinking about all of the years that I’ve done this, and how each time has been so different; sometimes warm and sunny, sometimes super cold, sometimes rain, sometimes a driving snowstorm. Other than that moment, the wine drinking was light and there many stretches of the days where I hardly remembered that it was Anthesteria. To be fair, I had to work most of those days and work, as I mentioned above, is highly stressful these days, so if my attention was diverted then so be it. There will be next year.
I am trying to envision life after work, and it’s not easy. I will go to Kentucky in early March, and retire at the end of March. I think that the next day I’m just going to sleep in and then spend time alone. After that, I need to decide what to do. I’m still planning on moving, there is really nothing holding me here but I have nothing to which I should be going. So, do I plan a bunch of trips for the rest of the year, or just stay home and get some work done to the house as well as visit my mother? The thing is, my mortality is now very obvious to me, and I don’t want to waste my time doing nothing in the time that I have left (even if that’s two or three more decades). But I still am not sure what to do, not REALLY sure. Right now I can’t hardly plan, as I’m just holding onto the job and trying to get to retirement, and in the meantime things are still super busy at the office. Hopefully this Spring will begin to yield some clarity.
As so often happens these days I was struck by a particular phrase/saying lately. There was a post by a fellow Hellenic recon that posted an epitaph which was left at the Battle of Salamis, 480 BCE. It really moved me:
To our towering friendship I’ve raised this little stone. Sabinus, I will look for you forever. If things turn out as people say And you join the dead, To drink from the river That helps men forget, Please don’t drink the drop That makes you forget me.
No one knows who raised this stone, 2,500 years ago, but it speaks to the enduring power of friendship. I hope that you, stranger, found Sabinus, if not in life then in death.
Yesterday, after a week off due to injury, I had a very busy and productive yoga day that made me smile. Today I knew that I didn’t need to do anything other than what I wanted, so I slept well. Overnight I dreamt of wearing the medallion earned during my studies in the Tradition of the Witches Circle, and so I’ve worn that today. I made a big breakfast including biscuits, and left one of the biscuits on the hearth.
Later I got some more golden sculpy and made the golden bull that I normally make for Perun today. Due to the cooking the coloration came out weird but actually it looked good. So I did my bull sacrifice under the oak tree, lit incense there, and came in. Most of the day I’ve put up incense on various goddess altars, it has seemed the thing to do.
I decided not to run full ritual but did do a tarot reading, which came out very positively.
It’s hard to say but I feel like I’ve turned a corner here. The PTSD and grief that I experienced after retiring has slowly faded, and I feel like the worst of it has passed. The money situation seems good for now, and I’m trying to plan trips, purchases, and other things to do for the rest of the year. While I don’t have a solid purpose yet, the pall that has cast a shadow over me seems to be lifting. Heck, there’s been a shadow over me for a decade now, which has only deepened since the pandemic started, but today it feels like things are shifting and life feels lighter.
Blessings to those beginning the Gratitude Project today. I still cannot bring myself to do that again, but I no longer had a negative outlook or a cynical reaction to it. I will take that as a good thing.
Some years ago, on advice of someone that I know here, I bought this book (“Theurgy and the Soul” by Gregory Shaw) and started trying to read it. I put it down as it was too dense and my brain wasn’t ready for it.
A week or so ago I picked it up and opened to where the bookmark was, which was this piece of paper. That’s not my hand-writing, and I know not whose it is or whence it originated. This amused me though so I took this picture and posted to Instagram, and started re-reading the Forward.
This line caught my attention (a discussion of Iamblichian theorugy and Christian philosophy):
“In the case of Iamblichus one sees above all the idea (highly consonant with Christianity) that while prayer is not about changing the minds of the gods, neither is it mere self-therapy”
Which immediately led me to think of the opening lyrics in “The Soft Parade” by The Doors. I had to play the song, and appropriately scream out those lyrics, before picking the book up again. By which time I was in quite the Dionysian mood (Jim Morrison was a Dionysian in so many ways).
In the Preface, there was this tidbit:
“The spiritual wasteland of our age . . . . had been predicted by Iamblichus himself to Porphyry, the editor of Plotinus’ Enneads. Iamblichus prophesied darkly that Porphyry’s conviction that the gods are too spiritual to be engaged in material rites is a belief that empties our world of divinity . . . ” It goes on to say, after a quote: “In direct contrast to this bleak vision, Iambichean theurgy aims to sustain the continuity of the gods with our physical world – this lower region – by recognizing their presence in material existence: in animals, plants, and even in stones, and further, that human beings have the capacity to engage this presence by ritually embodying the divine activity, the theurgy, through which it is revealed,”
I was flooded with the memory of this year’s Anthesteria celebrations and how strongly I felt Dionysos after incorporating the Orphic rites with the Toys. It also vaguely brought to mind my tantric readings.
And . . . . that was enough. I went back and listened to The Soft Parade again.
Probably the most fundamental text for the modern yoga system in the West is Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras (YS). Since I began practicing yoga, and became serious about the asana practice, I was exposed to the YS and studied them when I undertook yoga teacher training. I was also exposed to a lot of other ideas about the subtle energy body, moving energy within the body, breath work and control, energy locks, and so forth. Thing is, the YS never really sat well with me. It seemed a bit cold and a bit harsh in some ways, but I never really could put my finger on it.
Over the last three months, I’ve had a few interesting conversations with a fellow Ashtangi who lives in Brazil now. I’ve also been reading Instagram posts by an Ashtangi named Adam Keen. Finally, a yoga teacher that is a student of mine was discussing the YS in her classes. This all pushed me to look at the YS again, from a broad perspective, and also look at Tantric Yoga. To be honest, I had not done much study in tantric thought.
I’ve come to the conclusion that the YS are a very poor basis for yoga as practiced in the West today, and I wish that there were some text or texts that we could use to replace them.
First, what is Tantra? While it’s hard to lock down a definition, because the practices and philosophies have evolved and morphed over time, I like this one that I found in Wikipedia::
“The scope of topics discussed in the Tantras is considerable. They deal with the creation and history of the world; the names and functions of a great variety of male and female deities and other higher beings; the types of ritual worship (especially of Goddesses); magic, sorcery, and divination; esoteric “physiology” (the mapping of the subtle or psychic body); the awakening of the mysterious serpent power (kundalinî-shakti); techniques of bodily and mental purification; the nature of enlightenment; and not least, sacred sexuality.” I also like this definition: “Non-Tantrika, or orthodox traditions in all three major ancient Indian religions, hold that the worldly life of a householder is one driven by desires and greeds which are a serious impediment to spiritual liberation (moksha, nirvana, kaivalya). These orthodox traditions teach renunciation of householder life, a mendicant’s life of simplicity and leaving all attachments to become a monk or nun. In contrast, the Tantrika traditions hold . . . that “both enlightenment and worldly success” are achievable, and that “this world need not be shunned to achieve enlightenment”.”
Let’s look for a minute at the YS again. Keen stated that the YS are “a text that is more suited to meditation and was probably written for a monastic audience, rather than us, a lay audience of ‘householders’, not sitting and meditating in a few asanas, but more inclined to be found jumping around on the yoga mat.” Indeed, the YS apparently were a fairly obscure text and not a major part of the older yoga movement.
So, why are the YS so foundational to the modern Western yogic practice? Again, borrowing a quote from Wikipedia, one author speculates that the 19th and 20th centuries in India saw “a radical reframing of yogic practices away from the Tantric context” and that while Hatha yoga had its origins in a Saiva tantric context (Note: more probably Buddhist tantric); “Given the extremely negative views of Tantra and its sexual and magical practices which prevailed in middle-class India in the late nineteenth and twentieth centuries, and still largely prevail today, this” (the sexual aspect of tantra) “was an embarrassing heritage. Much effort was given by people such as Swami Vivekananda into reconstructing yoga, generally in terms of a selective Vedantic reading of Patañjali’s Yogasutra. The effort was largely successful, and many modern Western practitioners of yoga for health and relaxation have little or no knowledge of its original function as a preparation for the internal sexual practices of the Nath tradition.”
In other words, the promotion of the YS was to re-enforce a form of yoga stripped of the sexual, magical, and esoteric elements that would be acceptable to a more prudish Western and modern Indian audience.
The YS, though, push a pretty strong form of renunciation and utter negation of the mind in order to pacify it (or beat it into submission, as it were), more suited to the yogi in a cave, and, to use Keen’s words, using “mind-training to separate the individual Self from the world in order to transcend it.” For those of us who are householders, who hold jobs, have spouses and families, and interact with the world, this is an incredibly tall order.
I would argue that it is also counterproductive. The de-emphasis of the sexuality of humans runs very counter to my pagan training and thought, and my Dionysian self. I could see Patanjali as being more Apollon, more concerned with order and correctness and such. While I do appreciate systems and such, I still have that Dionysian self within me. De-emphasizing a key part of what makes us human does not, IMO, help us to realize our true selves or live full lives.
Keen discusses two of the YS, 1.33 and 2.34, where he says that they talk about using the mind “as opposed to simply ignoring the mind in order to pacify it. Basically, actively looking to engage certain emotional/mental states.” He goes on to say “Furthermore, there is also mention specifically of the importance of generating the emotions of kindness and compassion; teachings that are particularly definitive of Mahayana Buddhism. However, usage of this mind training is for the purposes of the yoga aim and not the Buddhist one. For, where Buddhism focuses on the indivisible nature of Self from others, and, therefore, the imperative necessity of compassion, Yoga is using mind-training to separate the individual Self from the world in order to transcend it in the classical era.”
A commentator later summed up the statement as “Compassion Vs Kaivalyam,” and I tend to agree with that.
I’ve said before that I’ve been more isolated over the last few years, or to put it another way, on a more “Kaivalya” path. This has been particularly so since I’ve found the pagan community over the last few years or more to express enormous hate (in the form of identity politics) in the name of compassion (a sad irony), and found myself distancing from that community more and more because of that. I still do think of us as linked, and still try to practice compassion, or at least understanding, in my interactions with others. Maybe the time since 2015 has been needed in order to let go of some bad patterns, to do a long-term reset myself and do some healing that has been needed for decades. Yet, since my father’s passing last year, as I said in a recent post, I feel the need to emerge from that ‘cottage in the woods’ and re-engage in life more.
So, maybe, my yoga focus should be less YS-oriented and more tantric in nature. Maybe Nancy Gilgoff’s passing is another nudge in that direction, as she handed out a loving-kindness meditation at her workshops. Besides, my Ashtanga practice, and my Prana Flow and Universal Yoga trainings are far more tantric, emphasizing the cleansing, the flow and manipulation of energy, and the experience of the human body.
This resonates with me, on many levels, but especially my Dionysian self. So I think I’m going to stay away from the YS for the most part and dive into other yoga aspects, but especially embracing tantra, which does seem to be the foundation of yoga in the first place. Maybe reading the Amrtasiddhi text is in order. Regardless, I feel a lot better now about my original discomfort with the YS and feel better about setting them aside.
This is a post on a different blog from March 2024. Placing it here for reference.
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TL:DR; a discussion of yoga philosophy, pagan thought, a touch on current social trends, and ageing.
I was scrolling through Instagram this morning (March 18, 2024) and ran across a blog post by a guy named Adam Keen, who is an Ashtanga yoga practitioner. A link below is for reference (more musings follow).
I personally like what Adam has to say and find myself nodding along with a lot of his thoughts. YMMV. After we lost Anthony Grimm Hall’s blog, which had a ton of terrific historical Ashtanga and yoga knowledge, I’ve missed some good historical discussions.
Anyone that’s followed me for the last ten years is familiar with a lot of my complaints and/or laments. Since 2015 especially, I’ve withdrawn more and more from social media, the pagan community, and human interactions in general. Online posts affect off-line interactions. For me, seeing both the rise of the MAGA/Trump Right, and the excesses of the Progressive Left (mostly centered around identity politics) drove me into a semi-secluded state. As someone who was once a Republican staffer for a Congressional representative, as someone who once believed, with all of my conviction, that I was doing good, to see the rise of MAGA has been crushing. At the same time, the identity politics that have been hammered by progressives for the last decade or so have left me feeling very unwelcomed (if not hated) by many I once considered family. Hence the withdrawal. Some who have observed me have stated that my withdrawal is akin to leaving the village and taking up residence in a cabin in the woods. Others have said that it’s akin to the yogis in a cave. While not 100% true by any stretch, there are certainly elements of that level of isolation in my life now.
Along with this withdrawal has come a deep dissatisfaction with pagan and yoga philosophies. My belief in the gods has not wavered, but the ideas behind my magickal practices have been seriously challenged. Similarly, I’ve had this deep-seated sense that yoga philosophy was all BS. There are a few reasons behind this. Part of it has been my body having injury after injury, and trauma after trauma, over the last few years. Part of it has been ageing. It dawns on me today that I took up paganism at about the time where half of my life was over. Yoga definitely came as the sun began setting on my life. Not that I’m going to pass anytime soon, but I took up yoga at 47, which is surely after the halfway point of my life. With the age comes some wisdom, hopefully, and a natural withdrawal from parts of the world.
Part of it is the decay in many yoga classes away from philosophy discussions, chant, pranayama, etc., to asana purely as exercise (often poorly constructed). At the same time, the ideas in Patanjali’s sutras have felt particularly stupid to me over the last few years. What’s the point, I’ve found myself asking, of all of this denial and concentration to get to samadhi? Why? I think of the Zen saying of “Before enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water. After enlightenment, I chopped wood and carried water.” Well then, what’s the point of enlightenment? I found myself sitting at home alone many days, practicing asana and pranayama as best as I could, and it seemed futile. Besides, I’m quite uncertain about the entire idea of reincarnation. Right now, if pressed, I’d say that I don’t believe in it. Therefore, again, why follow Patanjali’s methods, which are very raja yoga based?
Yes, this is all vague, but it conveys the sense of being adrift that I’ve felt for some time. I’ve told my therapist many times over the last decade that I feel akin to being on a luxury yacht adrift on an ocean with nothing in sight on the horizon. It’s comfortable, if not luxurious, and pretty, but I have no direction and no idea where to go. Or, at least, that’s how it’s often felt.
The thing is, I’ve kept up my practices. I’ve done my daily prayers, and continue doing rituals and even some of the occult practices. I’ve kept up my yoga asana practice as much as possible, even when it seemed useless and when quitting in the face of injury was an easy path. I kept doing these practices in part because they were routine and because I was stubborn, and in part because there was some comfort and positive feeling. In part, there was a small hope that, somewhere and somehow, it would all make sense eventually, that some of the energy and purpose that I lost in the great burnout in 2015 and subsequent withdrawal would return to me.
Truth be told, there have been moments. The trip from Crete to India in 2019 was more profound than I thought it would be (and I expected it to be really, REALLY profound), reverberating to this day in ways that I didn’t expect. After all, I lived for a time in the city of Varanasi, and thus feel permanently blessed. There have been other moments. Sometimes, in the midst of prayers or practices, there would be a familiar spark that would flare up. My yoga would, at times, feel good, and a bit of mental clarity might come. Maybe it was a fool’s hope, but these moments kept me moving forward in terms of spiritual practice.
Of late I’ve been chatting with another Ashtangi (Irene) who is also a pagan and fairly well-versed in various esoteric practices and philosophies. At times our conversations are a bit frustrating, but most of the time I find them to be a bit inspiring, as does she. And then, over the last year, I’ve stumbled into Adam Keen’s writings. I don’t concur with it all, but he does have a focus on history and seems to have some very thoughtful philosophies.
I’m sure some yogis will laugh at what follows. Hey, sometimes I’m slow, but I’m learning, and now discerning.
One of the things that Adam’s discussed of late has been Patanjali’s sutras. It’s his contention (in other posts, not in the link above) that the sutras were, for most of their history, an obscure text that wasn’t really part of the yogic cannon of texts, and were only rescued by Swami Vivekananda. He also muses that the sutras are “a text that is more suited to meditation and was probably written for a monastic audience, rather than us, a lay audience of ‘householders’.” Adam further postulates that Vivekananda pushed the sutras for a number of reasons, one of which was that it was free of any tantric style practices that might shock Western minds and sensibilities.
This led me to thoughts about tantra hatha yoga. It also led me to confront some facts about my yoga teachings and trainings. I’d been exposed principally to Krishnamacharya’s yoga philosophy, but it had not come to me in a coherent way. Maybe that was the fault of my teachers, though it’s more likely that I didn’t study it as closely as I should have. Nevertheless, the simple truth is that my yoga knowledge had gaps. My ego said that my training in Prana Vinyasa Flow, in Ashtanga, and in Universal Yoga, made me a well-rounded yogi and a solid teacher. Be that as it may, there were still big gaps. One of those was in the ideas behind tantric yoga.
So, I’ve been doing some studies. Nothing overly deep mind you, but trying to pull into my mind a bit more understanding about tantric practices. Many people associate the term with a type of sexual activity, but that’s only a portion of it. To me (and this is a gross oversimplification), what a tantric practice emphasizes is more along the lines of embracing the body and the energies within it, rather than the idea of denial of the body or the senses that is prevalent in the sutras. It’s still about spiritual liberation, yes, and still about internal connection and such. Whereas the sutras could be seen as sitting quietly in meditation, however, tantric yoga would see meditation in the movement during asana practice. Also, the practices, whether the physical asana or other types, concern the build-up of kundalini energy.
I’ve experienced a kundalini awakening once, during a Universal Yoga practice. We were a bit more than halfway through a three-hour practice. I don’t remember the pose (though I want to say it was wheel pose), but I remember very clearly where I was in the yoga room. To this day I can walk into that room and look at that exact spot and remember having that feeling. But I remember being confused about the discussion of kundalini at the time, because I don’t recall that being discussed in the sutras and didn’t see the connection.
Still, here and now, reading about tantric practices makes much more sense. It uses physical methods to ‘supercharge’ the body to render our experience ‘whole,’ to borrow a phrase from Mr. Keen. The Shiva and Shakti foci, which again I had been exposed to but did not connect into a broader framework of understanding, are at play here as well. The development of energy is focused on the purification and cultivation of prana and the activation of kundalini, to borrow again from a different text. This suddenly helps to understand the focus on prana in the Prana Vinyasa Flow classes. It also shows Ashtanga yoga to be more tantric, as Pattabhi Jois would focus on purifying the blood and other purifications through the asana practice. I’ve also learned that there is a branch of tantric thought, left-hand tantra, which is not common but involves the use of wine, meat, and physical union, among other items.
Yes, this is an over-simplification. But what interests me the most is that the tantric approach, which I’ve already been doing somewhat in the yoga asana practices that I’ve done, has a parallel to Dionysian practices. I am a Dionysian, a fact that has been brought home this year after years of quiet. The recent Anthesteria rituals were, again far more profound than I expected. After missing the festival last year due to my father’s passing, this year I went all-out, doing parts of the festival that I’ve not done before and specifically incorporating Orphic practices in the presentation of the Toys of Dionysos. This is a very physical thing, and the results were beyond description. The altar room buzzed for a solid week, and I felt and continue to feel somewhat transformed by it all. Dionysos promises that a chaste woman can partake of Dionysian rites and remain chaste. That is to say, the rites are not all about drunken sexual debauchery. Yet there seems to be a physical component to a deeply internal transformation. The god rips you apart and throws you back together, yes, just as he was ripped apart and regrown in Orphic thought. I’ve always known that, and have experienced that ripping, and even growth anew, but it was only this year that the violent death followed by rebirth and regrowth became more obvious to me.
Is tantric yoga the same? No. But the emphasis on physical experience to reach a spiritual awakening is indeed similar, and thus far more familiar and accessible to me than is the withdrawal of senses in the sutras.
The link above discusses Keen’s thoughts on Krishnamacharya’s teachings. He feels that Krishnamacharya was trying to create a synthesis of various aims and approaches to yoga into one unified philosophy. This unified approach would be available to the householder. The book discussed in the link is the Yoga Makaranda, which I’ve seen before but never read in depth. Keen notes that the text relies mostly on the sutras, but also has some tantric perspectives interwoven into it, including the raising of kundalini. Keen makes this early observation:
“This way of defining yoga as restraint of the senses, and, even, the consistent view in line with Patanjali, of yoga as a ladder of stages (ashtanga) to climb, is clearly in evidence on many occasions in the text. It is then, intriguingly inter-spliced with the tantric perspective of raising ‘kundalini’, which, indeed, we hear nothing of in Patanjali.
It seems then, slightly at loggerheads; asana is used on one hand to extricate the mind from the body, on the other, to further embody oneself in increasing body energy (kundalini).”
This! This is what suddenly makes so much sense in my mind. It also makes sense deep within my body. The Dionysian in me is far happier with the tantric focus using the body for raising kundalini, and with all of the vinyasa yoga styles that I’ve learned over the years, than it is plodding along with the denials and admonishments of Patanjali’s sutras.
Krishnamacharya also has a huge emphasis on breath, connected with movement, which I appreciate greatly as that has led to health benefits. Though, it does at times create some issues in the world. For example, this statement: “The vinyasas in which the head is raised are to be done with puraka kumbhaka and the ones in which the head is lowered must be done with recaka kumbhaka.” In other words, when rising up, inhale. When lowering down, exhale. I did this recently at a workout with a personal trainer and he was advising the opposite. That messed me up, but also highlighted to me some of my practices which I do without much thought.
But that’s an aside. What’s important to me right now is that I feel better about my yoga practice as part of a tantric hatha yoga approach, which I also think fits okay with my pagan practices. That sense of being adrift isn’t so strong right now. I don’t think that I have “the answer” or any such thing, but my sense of estrangement from yoga and pagan philosophies isn’t so strong now. That’s a good thing. Maybe the relative quiet and relative isolation that I’ve had over the last few years, as well as my slowly advancing years, is paying some dividends here. Just need to strengthen my body some more and enjoy it in moderation, while I can, and continue with some focus and concentration. If enlightenment leads to a greater inner peace, it’s worthwhile.
The Anthesteria festival in 2024 was probably the most meaningful one that I’ve celebrated to date. The 2025 festival, earlier this year, was completely flat, by comparison. 2023 I couldn’t celebrate, as Anthesteria fell on my birthday and my father was going into the hospital, and he passed about three weeks later. 2024 was huge because I decided to add an Orphic theme. I normally follow the “Anthesteria for the Lonely Soul” template that Sannion put together years ago, but added some things that really resonated. Below are my entries for each of the days (as posted on Facebook) as I celebrated, starting on February 21.
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When doing festivals I follow the ancient convention that the day begins at sundown. Thus, tonight is the start of Day 2 of Anthesteria, known as Khoes. Ivy has wrapped around the god, and Ariadne has joined the front altar. Meanwhile, all of the other altars and shrines are covered.
I have an idea about the Toys of Dionysos, and I think I’ll implement that tomorrow. Am actually proud of myself as I made a toy by hand today. Will show more tomorrow.
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This is such a complex festival and I have made it moreso. Day 2 continues. I changed wine and incense. Up to now I’ve been cutting the wine, but with the change have been drinking it uncut. Purple ribbon surrounds the god now. Earlier, before the rains came, I went to swing for Erigone on a playground swing set. I do this most every year and it’s always surreal.
Over a decade ago I printed out a guide from Sannion called “Anthesteria for the Lonely Soul” and follow a lot of that. During Day 2 he suggests putting out a pitcher of wine and cups for Orestes and the people of Athens, and to drink in silence. I’ve never done that before, but did so today. Am preparing for other things to do at the end of the day as well, we’ll see how those go.
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The end of Day 2 of Anthesteria. A completely new thing. Last year in January I got a nudge about the Toys of Dionysos, which I’ve heard discussed before but never really paid much attention. These are related to Orphic philosophy, which I hadn’t really studied much. But there is a myth of the Titans trying to entice a baby Dionysos, and once his attention is caught they murder the child and eat Him. But Athena finds the heart and returns it to Zeus, who sews it into his hip and Dionysos regrows and is reborn there. Zeus then slays the Titans.
I couldn’t do anything last year as I missed Anthesteria due to my father’s passing. I did collect a few of the toys, but not all, and waited.
I finally did start studying the toys this year, but hadn’t gotten very far. I did purchase Sannion’s book on the toys and had gotten through the introductory sections. I picked it up for Anthesteria and the list of toys that he has exceeds any list I’ve ever seen. The list is as follows:
Ball
Dice
Wheel
Bullroarer
Top
Rattle
Puppet
Wool
Golden Apple
Mirror
I had many of these. I borrowed the golden apple from Helen’s altar and the mirror from Oshun’s altar. I had wool from Crete, and a bullroarer and top. A puppet I did not have but used a floppy doll. Dice I had as knucklebones, courtesy of Aisling Chaimbeul. I found a ball of reeds that seemed good.
I have a rattle somewhere, but couldn’t find it. Then I looked at the book and it described a rattle made of shells. I have a bunch of seashells, and got a stick and some twine and made a rattle yesterday, pictured. It works well.
I did not know how to proceed, but felt that the end of the day would be okay to do whatever I would do. When I awoke this morning I remembered a stone in the shape of a heart on Ariadne’s altar. Then a plan came into focus. I would put the heart with Dionysos during the day. Then I would make a poppet of cookie dough, and put the heart in it before baking. After baking, I would dress ‘in disguise’ and bring the poppet to the altar. I would then present each toy to Dionysos in order, and then ritually break the poppet and eat it. The heart I would clean off and put on Zeus’s altar, until the end of the 3rd day of Anthesteria.
And so, that’s what I did. The pictures here (not in this post) are of the poppet (made of chocolate chip cookie dough) before and after baking, and then on the altar. I used my black robes and mask to disguise myself. After presenting the toys one by one, I broke the poppet with a ritual knife and devoured it along with some wine. I then washed the heart in Greek olive oil, Greek wine, and khernips, before placing it under the cloth covering Zeus’s altar. I then ‘covered’ the statue of Dionysos in a see-through pink ribbon as this seemed the right thing to do. Once done, Ariadne was moved back to Her normal location and Hermes took His place on the altar for Day 3.
Observations: It went well. I got SUPER woozy after it was done, like nearly fainted. Lots of energy movement. Just before I started this it dawned on me how the ritual I had created somewhat parallels the Christian Communion. I think that I have a good idea where the Christians got the ritual now.
It has been a super busy day. Despite eating fully I still feel wiped out. Tomorrow will be a much more somber affair.
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Be gone ye Keres, it is no longer Anthesteria!
Highlights of Day 3: Buckthorn bag on the front door for protection. Koliva cooked and left on the hearth for the ancestors (and my father). Dionysos covered.
A suitably gloomy day today, though not cold. When the day was done I broke down the altars and put things back as they should be. After a closing offering to Hestia, I went to Zeus, who held the heart of Dionysos that I had placed there at the end of Day 2.
I prayed that Zeus would burn away the Titan in me, the bad and what held me back, but let the good of Dionysos remain. I moved the heart to the altar of Dionysos, and asked that He also allow all that is good and that serves me well to remain in me.
I have lots of cleanup to do tomorrow, and am utterly wiped out. But it was good to celebrate this year. For the record, just two bottles of wine consumed for me and the offerings, as it was a workweek.
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Whenever I do a big ritual or festival, I wonder what the effects will be, if any. I already know that this Anthesteria had some pop to it.
I base this on my altar room. A few people here have been in my house and into the altar room, so they will understand what I write here. It doesn’t have all of the altars, but the majority of them, and the biggest ones in my personal pantheon. I do a LOT of magickal work there, as well as daily prayers. Many people who have never been into the room before are visibly surprised when they first enter. It’s like getting a light smack to the face; most say they weren’t prepared for the energy in the room. I’m used to it though, so the room feels no different to me usually.
That’s not true now.
After I put things back in order last night, I went to eat something and take some rest. Before the night was up, I walked into the room to make sure that things were in order. It was like getting punched, hard, repeatedly, the feeling was so overwhelming. I almost fainted and had to leave quickly.
This morning? Yea, still strong. I walked in for daily prayers and got a wave of feeling, and had a headache when I finished prayers. This afternoon it’s almost tolerable. At least I can stand in the room without feeling like I’ll fall over and haven’t had a headache.
Outside of the room, I still feel slightly woozy and deeply exhausted, despite 9 hours of sleep last night. I did a yoga class today and the best that I could say to the teacher when it was done was “at least I didn’t pass out.”
Anthesteria has been moving in the past, but never like this.
The following is a post from January 2024 regarding some thoughts about Orphism that I made on a different blog. I think that the post should be here.
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“I am the child of earth and starry-heaven.”
My study of Orphism has never been that extensive or deep, but I remember that the newly dead soul was supposed to avoid the first fountain or pool of water that the soul would see in Hades. Instead, move forward to the next body of water. I had forgotten the rest.
Here is the command:
This is the [?] of Memory. When you are about to die… you will go to the spacious halls of Hades; a spring is on the right, and by it stands a bright cypress tree; there the descending souls of the dead refresh themselves. Do not go near to this spring at all. Further on you will find, from the lake of Memory, refreshing water flowing forth. But guardians are nearby. They will ask you, with sharp minds, what you seek in the misty shadow of Hades. Say: ʺI am the child of Earth and starry Heaven; and I am parched with thirst and I perish; but give me quickly refreshing water to drink from the lake of Memory.ʺ And then they will speak to the underworld king, and then they will give you to drink from the lake of Memory, and you, having drunk, will go along the sacred road that the other famed initiates and bacchics travel.
The key part in the Greek: Γῆς παῖς ἠμι καὶ Οὐρανοῦ ἀστερόεντος.
Reading this, I remember a chant that we used to sing at drum circles. Normally, my old friend and high priestess Irene would start. In order for it to work, someone would have to respond, usually me or my old friend Cherif. The chant went like this (if begun by Irene):
I am a strong woman, I am a lovin’ woman, I am a XXXX and my soul will never die!
The response would be:
I am a strong man, I am a lovin’ man, I am an XXXX and my soul will never die!
Then all would sing:
We are an old family, we are a new family, we are the same family stronger than before. We honor you we empower you to be, who you are. We honor you we empower you to be, who you are.
In this, the XXXX was various things; priestess/priest, healer, warrior, etc. (I think there’s one more, but I can’t recall at the moment). You would repeat the chant the three or four times to get all of the things spoken. Once done, Irene would inevitably break to another song:
Mama Gaia carry me your child I will always be. Mama Gaia carry me, down to the sea. Papa-Sun shine the light on me, your child I will always be. Papa-Sun shine the light on me until we are free. Until we are free.
Then another chant, usually (I think this is correct, it’s been some years);
I hear the voice of my, (great) grandmother calling me say, grandmother calling me say, wake up, wakeup! Wake up, wakeup! Listen listen . . . listen listen. I hear my the voice of my (great) grandfather calling me say, grandfather calling me say, wake up, wakeup! Wake up, wakeup! Listen listen . . . listen listen.
Then we would often go back to the first chant and repeat, or sometimes just howl and drum.
I’ve not know the source of these chants, but the call to Mama Gaia and Papa Sun now sounds VERY Orphic to my ears.
The Orphic command also sounds like that famous line in the Desiderata: You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
Fascinating.
The chants for the drum circles were dropped years ago due to concerns about trans-folk that might be there, btw. I always thought that something could have been worked out, using ‘person’ at one point and having the males chant the female part while the females chanted the male part, for example. But, alas, that was not done, and the chants are mostly gone now. I hate that, it’s a huge loss IMO. Not that I’m in pagan drum circles anyway . . . .
I posted this to Facebook, with the intention of putting it here. So I have.
I think I’ve told this story before, so this will be some repetition. About 11-12 years ago, I was on my way to yoga. At the time, my mind was in a somewhat liminal state between the ‘normal’ world and the spirit world (which isn’t overly safe, while driving, but there you have it). I was on a road at 25 mph with no traffic, near the studio, and was thinking of the Dioskouroi, and pondering the question whether the Indo-European Divine Twins were one pair of gods, or many. I actually asked this, and I remember very clearly hearing a light laugh and the thought “yes!” Then the flood began, as my mind was overwhelmed very rapidly with images of twins. It was so fast and there were so many that I had to pull over quickly, holding my head and gasping for a second. The images stopped soon afterwards, but the incident obviously left a big mark on my psyche.
Because of this I’ve had it in my mind that one of my goals is to go to the places where the Twins were worshipped and give cultus. When you look up the Twins, you see three general locations/cultures where scholars believe that the Twins come from the same root source. Those are: Greece (and thence Rome), India, and the Baltic region. When I was in Varanasi, India, in 2019, I was fortunate to learn that the temple to the Ashvins was very close to the hotel. I went there a couple of times, and the second time I went I gave cultus as best as I knew how and with what I had. When I exited the temple, an old Sadhu was nearby, watching me, and called me over. He invited me in for chai and we chatted about spiritual things. It was one of the highlights of my trip, in a trip brimming with highlights and huge spiritual events.
And so, in my mind, I need to visit Sparta in Greece and then go to the Roman Forum, where the ruins of the Temple of the Dioskouroi rests. There is another similarly ruined temple on Sicily. In the Baltics it’s trickier. Both Latvia and Lithuania have the Twins, but as I research Lithuania in particular I find evidence that only a small portion of this small country has evidence of the Divine Twins in imagery. I also don’t know where the cultus center would have been, so it becomes somewhat of a guessing game. Baltic pagans are a bit insular so it may take some effort to get an answer.
A few days ago I was doing research and was looking at other instances where scholars believe the IE Divine Twins had cultus. On the Wikipedia site it mentioned two other instances in Italy, The Paelignian Ioviois Pvclois and Marsian Ioveis Pvcles. I had not heard of these two twins or the cultures, but the Italic peoples mentioned were east of Rome, in the mountains, and interestingly near lakes. It is said that the Marsi were near Lake Fucinus, which was a shallow lake deep in the mountains. The lake is gone now, drained away since the 1800’s. The other peoples, the Peligni, were east of the Marsi and near the same lake, but also close to the modern city of Suloma. Looking at the description of this city, we’re told that the town is on “a plain once occupied by a lake that disappeared in prehistoric times.” I found this fascinating. There is a river passing through the town now.
This made me think of the Roman veneration of the Dioscuri. It is said that the Romans called to the Twins for help during battle. The Twins then appeared in Rome, heralding the Roman army’s victory some distance away. But thinking about this a bit more brought something a bit startling; the prominent presence of water. The battle was at Lake Regillus, another lake that is closer to Rome than the previously mentioned ones, and is also now dry, being drained in the 4th century BCE. The Romans were fighting in the Latin War against the city of Tusculum. It is said that the leader of the Romans invoked the Dioscuri and asked for Their help. What’s interesting is that I’ve read that the Romans essentially “did the standard deed” and invoked the gods of their enemies for help. This would make the Twins the gods of the city of Tusculum.
At the time of the battle, when the tide turned for the Romans, it is said that the Dioscuri appeared in Rome and watered their horses at a spring. Below is a story outlining these events:
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** “This onset stopped the flight, and Aulus charged fiercely upon the Tarquins, praying, as he did so, to the divine warriors Castor and Pollux, to whom he vowed to dedicate a temple if they would aid him in the fight. And he promised the soldiers that the two who should first break into the camp of the enemy should receive a rich reward.
Then suddenly, at the head of the chosen band, appeared two unknown horsemen, in the first bloom of youth and taller and fairer than mortal men, while the horses they rode were white as the driven snow. On went the charge, led by these two noble strangers, before whom the enemy fled in mortal terror, while Titus, the last of the sons of King Tarquin, fell dead from his steed. The camp of the Latins being reached, these two horsemen were the first to break into it, and soon the whole army of the enemy was in disorderly flight and the battle won.
Aulus now sought the two strange horsemen, to give them the reward he had promised; but he sought in vain; they were not to be found, among either the living or the dead, and no man had set eyes upon them since the camp was won. They had vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. But on the bard black rock which surrounds the lake was visible the mark of a horse’s hoof; such as no earthly steed could ever have made. For ages afterwards this mark remained.
But the strangers appeared once again. It was known in Rome that the armies were joined in battle, and the longing for tidings from the field grew intense. Suddenly, as the sun went down behind the city walls, there were seen in the Forum two horsemen on milk-white steeds, taller and fairer than the tallest and fairest of men. Their horses were bathed in foam, and they looked like men fresh from battle.
Alighting near the Temple of Vesta, where a spring of water bubbles from the ground, these men, whom no Romans had ever seen before, washed from their persons the battle-stains. As they did so men crowded round and eagerly questioned them. In reply, they told them how the battle had been fought and won,—though in truth the battle ended only as the sun went down over Lake Regillus. They then mounted their horses and rode from the Forum, and were seen no more.” **
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The prominence of water is not something that I’d really pondered before. Yes, the Dioskouroi are protectors of sailors, and the Sons of Diev in Baltic lore row out in a sea/ocean/lake to save Their sister I believe, but I still didn’t really see this so clearly.
Then I read about the Slavic deities Lel and Polel. The evidence of this cult, related to Polabian Slavs, specifically the Veleti. The cult center was in what is now eastern Germany, near the Tollensesee lake next to the city of Neubrandenburg. There is a small island on the south side of the lake named Fischerinsel, where archaeologists unearthed a statue of co-joined males and a female statue, maybe their mother (though there is a powerful lady always connected to the Twins, often a sister or wife). A copy of the twin statue is here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fischerinsel_(Tollensesee)…
I’m aware that the Greek historian Timaeus said that the Atlantic Celts (which are probably the Iberian peninsula, now Galicia in Spain and much of Portugal, though it could also be the coast of France) venerated the Dioskouroi above all others. As for the Ashvins in India, the strong river connections might make sense. But I don’t know of any specific water connections for the Alcis, for example.
Nevertheless, I’m struck by the water associations connected to the Twins. Lithuania and Latvia are swampy areas near the Baltic Sea, so again I can see the connection. Lots to ponder.
The Divine Twins 