Within me,
A million tiny deaths.
I watch from outside
As the massacre rages
With the sinister speed
Of a forest fire-
Turning my Eden
Into a pit of tar.
I wipe the sweat from my brow
And harness my fading strength
To scaffold a smile.
This cloak of
Practised happiness
Does well to contain
My unbridled catastrophe.
Why are you crying?
Are you gay?
So much more
Are suffering worse fates
And they are good people.
As if suffering
Were a competition
As if this
Were not a tragedy
But a punishment
Ultimately,
Deserved.
I smile-
Because it supresses my need
To gag.
I smile-
So that they think these are tears
Of joy.
They repurpose my memoirs
As a cautionary tale.
They had given my story an ending
When it had really only just begun.
Within me,
A million tiny deaths.
But as the deluge descends
Upon my charred paradise,
New shoots emerge.
Within me,
A million tiny births.
They grieve me
As I continue to walk the earth
My smile has worn out
And all they remember
Was the death of me-
A death that only happened
In their superficial minds.
They ceased to see me
When they saw the smoke
They refused to notice
I have turned into a world
Where death and life
Are merely two steps in the journey
Taken one after the other,
Over and over,
Moving me forward
Ever towards peace.
Divisoria 