Having certain missions or goals that you would like to accomplish for yourself is essential to your wellbeing. Motivation gets us ticking and helps us push through the toughness of the challenge that gets us going from A to B- from scratch to target.

Even though personal targets are incredibly healthy to have, I find the whole concept of New Year’s Resolutions hypocritical, dull, and a reflection of all the mediocrity and lack of passion in the world .

People hardly want to excel, they just want to get by. Or get to places without doing much, because of their lack of passion and thus motivation.

Those who are passionate about their goals, don’t wait until the new year to run after them. When you really want something, you have this immense urge to hunt it down right there and then.

By saying that you will start something in the New Year, you’ve already admitted your lack of interest. You say that you want to do it, and yet you feel the luxury to postpone it for later. Had you really wanted it, you would have already started. You would have been feeling threatened by all this time that you have lost.

You would have been unable to say ‘later’- you would have said ‘now’. Even if you weren’t feeling ready, you would have still pushed through because it meant something to you.

If you keep on waiting until you’re ready, you will never achieve anything because you will never feel ready. When I decided to recover from my anorexia in summer 2015, I wasn’t feeling ready at all, but getting my health back meant the world to me so I had to push through. Had I postponed it for later or until the new year as most people do- I would have been dead by now.

So stop waiting for certain dates, or signs from the sky, or years to change in order to go after something. If you find yourself unwilling to start something right now, then let it go (unless it’s a matter of health) and work on something you are actually passionate about.

Life is too short, to kid yourself!

I have stumbled on to so much nonsense across the web about eating disorders, I am actually alarmed.

I am sick of “experts” who know nothing, opening their mouths to spread so-called “awareness” just because they have a degree in something which they don’t really get.

Unfortunately it is widely believed that young girls become anorexic because they get influenced by the thin and glamorous models in the media.

They starve themselves in order to look like them and feel better; because society has pushed unrealistic standards of thinness and beauty.

So from this point of view, young girls are supposedly doing their absolute best to keep up with these standards and as a result some of them starve and become anorexic.

I am not even going to bother putting this nicely; this is bullshit.

First of all as a mental illness, anorexia does not limit its target to young girls. You don’t have to be a teenager to be anorexic and you don’t have to be female either.

Eating disorders are a way of coping with situations that feel overwhelming to the sufferer, just like alcoholism, drug addiction etc. It is your way out. It is your way of coping with something that pains you.

You don’t starve yourself to look like a model. Not with anorexia at least. I never cared what models looked like; even at the peak of my eating disorder. All you are interested in, is putting your energy into something that self-distracts you. Because you are too scared to fight what is truly troubling you- aka the root of your eating disorder.

On the other hand however, it is worth pointing out that the standards of thinness in the media are not doing the world any favours.

Truth be told, they do not promote the healthiest body image. But a mental illness such as anorexia does not stem from external influences. It stems from the individual themselves, their mind and their way of reacting to experiences. You have to be incredibly shallow in order to starve yourself and destroy your life, just because of an image in a magazine, alone. If a photo in a magazine ruins your life then it means that you are already broken from something else and that photo was nothing but a cherry on the cake.

My point is that even though the media itself is not helping to promote a healthy body image, this is not solid enough to act as the cause of someone’s eating disorder. The cause of a person’s eating disorder is far more complex and definitely far more personalised than “trying to look like a model”.

When I was going through my eating disorder I was lucky enough to have people around me who were very well-read on this but I am sure others are not as lucky. It is therefore my duty to pass all this onwards.

Following almost three years of intense ups and downs in the gruelling process of an eating disorder recovery, the struggles and all the sweat I’ve shed to get through this without professional help, have finally taken me somewhere.

People think that once you reach your target weight, your war is over. They have no idea what goes on in your head and all the battles that are still there. It took me five months to reach my target weight, but I did not develop a healthy relationship with food until 2018, almost three years later.

When you make the difficult choice to recover from anorexia and bulimia without professional help, even if you have the best support from your people; for the bigger part and the mind battles; you are on your own. Without being locked up in a medical facility you face the world everyday by yourself. And unfortunately, the world is not kind to people who are trying to recover.

I cannot even count how many commented on my weight gain too early on in my recovery when I was still very fragile in the mind, with some even asking if I was pregnant. Just because someone is getting heavier, it doesn’t mean that they’ve managed to defeat their ED and that they are ready to deal with these comments. But it was my decision to defeat my longterm problem in the real world and not locked up in an institute, thus I had to accept the real world as it was.

The years 2016 and 2017 were a very messy yet essential period. When I gave my body proper food, after so many years of starvation, it went crazy. I was always hungry, I was craving everything, especially sugar, and I could not stop eating. I was very obsessed with meals, I still struggled and I would overthink when dining at a restaurant or shopping at the supermarket. Physically, I was eating and I was gaining weight, but mind-wise it was still hell.

There were times I felt so confused and upset that I was beginning to doubt if recovery was worth it. It felt like I was pushing myself for months without reaching anywhere. The weight gain was keeping me healthy but if the mind battle would never end, then what was the point of it all?

Little did I know that all I had to do was to keep on pushing. So I pushed, and then I pushed harder until something unpleasant happened in 2017 that challenged my recovery to its core.

A part of my head was screaming “go back, starve, get lost”. And it was insanely tempting. Anorexia had always been my way of dealing with pain and it felt natural for me to go down that road again.

But the other part of my head pushed me out of bed, took me to the kitchen, got the cereal bowl out and forced food down my throat. And two hours later, it forced a cereal bar down my throat. And then lunch. And then another snack, and then dinner.

And from day to day, I pushed myself over and over and over again. To eat, to train, to take singing lessons, to write and do all the things that feed and fuel my soul.

Until one night at a party when I realised something that made my heart jump. For the first time in countless years I was putting food in my plate without thinking. Without counting pieces or calories. Without obsessing over the content. The mind battles that had controlled me for years had been silenced and all I could hear was my own voice and my own body. Only ex anorexics can understand what a milestone this is.

To anybody who is battling an eating disorder, please hear me out. I know that right now this seems like hell on earth and like a horrible trip from which you cannot get out of; but your worst day in recovery is better than your best day with an eating disorder.

You will do things, you don’t want to do. You will feel things, you don’t want to feel. But you will get to places you never thought you would ever get!

I regret the many years that I lost to this but if my experience inspires anyone to recover- then it was all worth it!

They will always tell you to follow your heart. But they will never truly mean it. The second they hear that you are about to do this, they will snatch you and pull you down. They will hold you back, lock you up and tell you that this is for your own good.

It pains me to say that I spent a fair amount of time in the previous years giving more credit to “safe advice” instead of having enough faith and trust in my own judgement. Not because I valued others more but because I valued and believed in myself a lot less than I deserved. Regardless of the potential outcome or the possible benefits of taking advice on board, I never want to live like this again.

Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with seeking support. It is only natural to feel the need to open up so that we don’t lose the plot.

Appreciate the support and the ear they lend you but don’t rely on anybody else for solutions, especially on sensitive matters of the soul where there is no right or wrong. The truth is that there is no magic advice that will save you. And for that reason people will always advise you to opt for the safe choice. Not just because they love you, but because nobody wants to take the responsibility of putting you in a tough spot. Nobody wants the burden of advising you to take a risk and follow your heart, because if the risk doesn’t work out, they will feel partly responsible for your state and they do not want to cope with that.

That being said, I regret ignoring myself and playing it safe. I regret the times I put my ego before my feelings because according to society and others that is the safest thing to do to not lose face. I am sick of being told how well I should pretend because apparently our image is more important than what is prevailing inside us. I am sick of being told that hiding it all inside me is strength. I am disappointed that in the 21st century, when we are supposedly progressed in so many ways, we are still embarrassingly backwards with the important things.

We are trapped in the illusion that we will all be here forever and we forget that time is running out and dying on us. As a consequence we put ourselves in the position of pretending that those who matter will be here forever. We get too caught up in the game of trying to prove who is the most composed one, who is the most selfish one, and we suffocate our own tongue and lock the things we want to say the most because if we expose ourselves with utter honesty we feel naked and humiliated if the risk doesn’t pay off.

Whether you listen to yourself or to others there is always the chance that things may not go your way. As there is always the chance that things may go your way. If we take the worst case scenario and your wishes do not come true, what would bother you more if this were your last day on earth? The fact that your wish did not come true? Or the fact that you sold your soul to listen to others, and you still did not manage to get the outcome that you wished for? Even if you did get the outcome that you wished for, if you achieved this by consulting everyone but yourself; your victory will be half eaten by others which you obsessively tried to please.

They say live for each moment as if it’s your last. But when we hear this, they have programmed us to associate it with extreme activities such as skydiving or swimming with sharks. The world never got to recognise the importance of self-value, in spite of what hypocritical self-development movements it is hiding behind.

On a planet where image is more important than self value, one of the most thrilling and extreme tasks you can do is to be yourself to the point that it hurts the hypocrisy around you. Of course this is easier said than done, but knowing that I will not be on this planet forever, the least I can do, is try.

It is safe to say that we have reached a point where anyone can post anything, anywhere at anytime. In theory, this sounds great. It sounds liberating. It sounds fair. People are free to say whatever they want to say, as they should! Even though this is a wonderful gift to mankind, which should be appreciated and used in the right way, every day it is being brutally abused. It is brutally and sadistically being molested by thousands of wannabe monkeys who aspire to be something else than what they truly are.

There are so many “models”, “photographers”, “bloggers” “stylists”, “chefs” and “artists”, on social media and it is insane. These terms are being used so loosely that their true meaning is perishing which is a big shame. Having another day job but participating in a photoshoot every now and then with nice dresses and makeup does NOT make you a model or a stylist. Carrying a professional camera when you travel does NOT make you a photographer. Painting or dancing every once in a while does NOT make you an artist. Posting a photo of the pretty dish you cooked with a million filters does NOT make you a chef. Having a friend of yours who has a small media site and posts a couple of articles about you does NOT make you famous. I blog every now and then but that does NOT make me a blogger. This is my HOBBY. Learn to differentiate between amateur and pro.

Why should you differentiate between the two? Because it is disgraceful and unfair to those who have truly worked their way up to get there through proper achievements, not through instagram posts or a photoshoot every now and then.

Instead of labelling yourself on your media as a model, artist or a photographer etc, maybe you should invest more time in actually trying to do it? Or is “social media- monkey” the only thing that you are truly interested in becoming?

So many social media monkeys are hiding behind popular hashtags such as bloggers, artists etc. in order to fulfil their social media aspirations rather than actual, solid achievements which is sad.

If you want to be a social media monkey there is nothing wrong with that. I myself find it rather pitiful however it is your right to go for it. What I will insist on is that you need to and must stop hiding behind labels that others have shed a lot of sweat and blood in order to get them.

Pose as who you really are and be a pro wherever you truly are a pro. Sweat like a beast for what you love, don’t just hashtag it.

One of the reasons many people fail to make the most out of their lives is not because they fail to act wisely but because they fail to think wisely.

We often wake up committed to thoughts about yesterday, the day before, last month, last year, last summer and so on. Few people actually grasp the meaning and importance of thinking about now, about today, about the second we wake up without infecting it with blasts of the past.

Reflecting back is more harmful than it appears. Holding on to previous experiences is like cheating on your current experiences. You do not allow the new ones to unfold naturally, you do not allow yourself to create and glow. It is like shedding rotten leaves on a new flower.

Everything you do is your choice. If you choose the past, it will choose you back. But do not expect the present to be there for you when you are not there to face it yourself.

So many people have difficulty in moving on, as we are taught that we should pick the pieces up and carry on. I strongly disagree with this. Picking the pieces up is a mistake- let them go, they are no longer a part of you. You do not need pieces, all you need is yourself with a clearer head.

Let the bloody pieces rot on the floor as you walk away conquering the world. Every time you find yourself struggling and falling into the trap of not letting go, simply close your eyes and whisper these words: “The past does not exist”.

And that is how you set yourself free.

They brought me into this world. They gave me everything, even when they didn’t have much. I was their priority from day one. They stuck beside me during the good and the bad. I felt their pride and love at times of joy and I felt their immense pain when I reached rock bottom, my absolute worst. They gave their souls to bring me back. They fought beside me like it was their war to fight. And when I finally recovered they stepped back and set me free, allowing me to build my own life.

Staying in touch with our parents and visiting them is always our choice. A choice which many of us overlook. There are no perfect parents and too many of us dwell on that. We forget the daily sacrifices they take on their backs for us their children. Do we even consider the fact that these sacrifices started taking place from before we were born? Do any of us even feel gratitude anymore for the fact that our mother carried us in her womb for 9 months? Does anyone respect all the preparation, dreams and excitement that our parents invested in us from before we came to this life?

Very few. Because most of us prefer to be stubborn and upset because our parents’ choices and dreams are not necessarily our choices. Instead of focusing on the cake, the foundation that was freely given to us, we choose to be picky and throw a tantrum over the colour of the cherry. We even ignore the fact that if we choose a different cherry or toss it out altogether for some whipped cream or other frosting, our parents will still love us no matter what, even if that frosting was not what they had planned for us originally.

Life is short. Nobody will be here forever and I refuse to let myself believe that there is such a thing as caring too much about my parents, my family, and how much time I spend with them. They gave me everything and the least I can do is let them take part in my life.

Telling your parents if you are well or not and what you do at work is not enough. Build a connection with them, talk to them about anything. Let them have a strong glimpse of what you are up to. Imagine giving your life to a human being and when that person finally has their independence they treat you like you are part of the background- locking you out of everything.

Your parents don’t want to rule your life. As long as you give them the respect they deserve and you treat them like YOUR people, not like strangers, their soul will be in peace. Introduce them and let them spend time with the people who are important to you. Nothing makes a parent happier than seeing that you have others to enjoy life with when they are not around. If you have a hobby show them what you do. Have your gates open to them; if it weren’t for their gates you wouldn’t have been here.

You wouldn’t have had the guts to chase the job you are after, you wouldn’t have lived your favourite memories, you wouldn’t have met the people you love, because if it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t have been the way you are right now. You would have been surfing on a completely different zone.

Life is not just a series of coincidences rolling around. There is a reason why you were brought here by the two people who were chosen. Do not turn a blind eye. There is more to life than randomness. And there is much more to “mum and dad” than what most of us make of it. Think twice and use your time wisely.