Sick, Tired…and Over It

/ Drops of Ink / Leave a comment
AI image generated by Drops of Ink

Hello my dearest friends and readers.
Believe it or not, I’m still alive. Though honestly, I don’t really feel it.

The staph infection I originally went to the hospital for? Gone. At least, I think it is. No green oozing or demonic possession vibes, so… silver linings? But the medication they put me on while I was there—well, let’s just say it’s doing its best impression of a full-body sabotage mission.

See, the doctors got it in their heads that my blood pressure was too high. Maybe it was while I was there—I mean, hello, I was sick. My body was at war, and of course my vitals were freaking out. But when I told them my blood pressure had always been normal, they looked at me with that glazed-over “cute, but we went to medical school” expression. I figured, fine, they’re the professionals. Let them do their thing.

Spoiler alert: they did their thing, and now I feel like I’ve been injected with Adamantium. Not in a cool Wolverine way, but in a “why does lifting a fork feel like Olympic weight training?” kind of way. My limbs are heavy. My body is sluggish. I wake up exhausted. I sit down exhausted. I blink and somehow—still exhausted.

And just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse, a few days ago my blood pressure nosedived to 84/54. If you don’t know what that means, imagine trying to function with the circulation of a Victorian ghost. Not ideal. I’ve been trying to tough it out at home—because let’s be real, the thought of going back to the hospital feels like asking a bear to maul me again, just for fun.

But I might not have a choice. I’m scared. I’m frustrated. I’m so damn tired of trying to advocate for myself only to be brushed off like an overdramatic housewife in a soap opera. I don’t want pity—I just want answers. I want to feel like me again.

So if I disappear for even longer, that’s why. I’m not ignoring you. I’m just trying to survive in a body that currently feels like it’s running Windows 95 on a dial-up connection.

Thank you for sticking with me. I’ll be back when I can, hopefully with better news and less medical drama. Until then… send good vibes, caffeinated thoughts, and maybe a team of rogue scientists who know how to un-Adamantium my soul.

Love you all,
Phoebe 💀💉💔

All text, graphics and videos unless otherwise specified are copyright for Phoebe ~ Drops of Ink, and are not to be used without permission. ©2013-present.

No part of this site, or any content within is allowed for AI training purposes. My permission is NOT given. ©Drops of Ink

Published on Spillwords…Again

/ Drops of Ink / 29 Comments
Image from SpillWords.com used on my poetry (not my image)

I am excited to share with you today, that my poem, “If You Could Hear Me” is published on Spillwords Press today! Thank you to Dagmara and her team. It is a great honor to have my writing featured on her wonderful platform, and to be in the company of so many talented authors, many of whom I consider friends here in WP bloggie-land.

You can read the full poem here…please do and let me know what you think in the comments. ❤️

At the time I wrote this one, I was missing someone a great deal. We’ve all been there, I’m sure.

Thanks again to SpillWords for once again making my week and publishing my words…sharing them with the world.

Start dazzling dearest readers and have a wonderful upcoming week.

All text, graphics and videos unless otherwise specified are copyright for Phoebe ~ Drops of Ink, and are not to be used without permission. ©2013-present.

No part of this site, or any content within is allowed for AI training purposes. My permission is NOT given. ©Drops of Ink

Threadbare

/ Drops of Ink
AI image generated by Drops of Ink 
I am unraveling —
thread by fragile thread,
a spool unwinding slow beneath
the weight of things unsaid.

Knots I tied in younger years
come loose beneath my skin,
and all the seams I stitched with hope
are splitting from within.

I grip the fray with tired hands,
but silk will slip from bone;
there’s no repair for cloth this worn,
no patch for coming undone alone.

Still — here I sit and watch it fall,
this tapestry unmade,
my fingers bleeding just to feel
what little hasn’t frayed.

And maybe that’s survival now —
not strength, not fight, not grace —
but staring down the wreck of it
and daring not to look away.

All text, graphics and videos unless otherwise specified are copyright for Phoebe ~ Drops of Ink, and are not to be used without permission. ©2013-present.

No part of this site, or any content within is allowed for AI training purposes. My permission is NOT given. ©Drops of Ink

Without a Doubt

/ Drops of Ink / 10 Comments

List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain.

AI image generated by Drops of Ink
  • Death 
  • Taxes
  • Love hurts
  • Nothing lasts forever
  • There is no such thing as free
  • Money can bring happiness—you just have to be poor enough to appreciate it…
  • Kindness does matter
  • Time waits for no one
  • You cannot please everyone— least of all yourself…
  • People will disappoint you

All text, graphics and videos unless otherwise specified are copyright for Phoebe ~ Drops of Ink, and are not to be used without permission. ©2013-present.

No part of this site, or any content within is allowed for AI training purposes. My permission is NOT given. ©Drops of Ink

Seeking Peace, Not Applause

/ Drops of Ink / 32 Comments

Are you seeking security or adventure?

AI image generated by Drops of Ink

Honestly….at this point…. neither. I’m seeking simply put….peace.

You reach a certain point in life — maybe it’s an age, maybe it’s a heartbreak, maybe it’s just exhaustion settling into your bones like an unwelcome houseguest — where you stop craving applause and start craving peace.

That’s where I am. Right now anyway…

Once upon a time, I wanted to impress. I wanted to be the loudest, the brightest, the one they couldn’t look away from. I wanted to prove I was good enough, smart enough, worthy enough. I wanted to win the room, the conversation, the argument, the day. I wanted to post the picture, get the like, tell the story, get the laugh. I wanted to be seen.

Now?
I want quiet. I want calm. I want my tea hot, my mornings slow, my people kind. I want fewer circles but deeper ones. I want to sleep without carrying the weight of a thousand expectations I never signed up for. I haven’t mastered that one yet. Not even close.

I’m realizing peace isn’t something you find out there in the noise — it’s something you build inside yourself, brick by quiet brick. Boundaries are the foundation. Rest is the roof. Grace is the door you keep open only for those who know how to knock softly.

I’m not chasing applause anymore. I’m chasing sunsets and solitude. I’m choosing softness where I used to choose battle. I’m learning that silence isn’t always empty — it’s full of answers. Ones you may not like about yourself or the life around you. So seek those answers carefully because you may not like what you find.

Until next time….whenever that might be. Stay dazzling. Love you all. ❌⭕

All text, graphics and videos unless otherwise specified are copyright for Phoebe ~ Drops of Ink, and are not to be used without permission. ©2013-present.

No part of this site, or any content within is allowed for AI training purposes. My permission is NOT given. ©Drops of Ink