Life doesn’t exactly happen as dreamed. As we all know, student life is golden life. As students, our only job is to learn. All our needs are taken care of by our parents. As such, we do no have any responsibilities. Things maybe different for some across the world, when someone had to take the family responsibility at an early age. I am just talking generally.
Then comes the stage when we must be ready to take up our own responsibility for life, then get ready to build our own family etc. In all these processes, many times life fools us into thinking that everything is under our control. Or simply we fail to guage the things in depth. Because we would be totally engrossed in the daily chores, running behind tasks. Only after few years do we realize that in the process of living the life, we would have sabotaged our own dreams, sacrificed our wishes.
I keep thinking that if I had an access to the books that I have now, if I had learned few things twenty years ago, my life would have been different. I cannot even imagine myself sitting and reading books at that time, because life was different back then. The environment was different for me.
I was a writer at heart from the beginning, but I just left writing for about twenty years. I only started with writing on WordPress in 2020. So, what should I think? Should I believe that it was fate? I am so forced to believe that things happen only when they have to happen!
I have failed to picture what my life would be one year after and so it is difficult for me to answer this.
Broadly speaking, I can only feel stuck in the same kind of circumstances repeatedly, not able to perceive progress as such in the most wanted areas of life.
Maybe I am scared of disappointment. Even though I think of many things, I can accomplish only few.
I can see that the kids are growing, I am getting older, however, responsibilities are only piling up and nowhere in the near future do they seem to relieve me.
Next year, if any miracle happens, I would write it here, no doubt!
To be happy or not is our choice. Today,I am happy for some reason, tomorrow I am happy for some other reason. Most of the times, it depends on our life circumstances and we feel sad or happy totally forgetting that what we are today is because of the choices we made long ago.
Sometimes, the choices are also forced. Or inevitable. The only skill to be learnt by us is acceptance of the situations and people just as they are. But that is not easy too. However, once we learn to do that, it is the key to enter the world of eternal happiness.
Look at a small child, which keeps smiling when gratified and cries only when there’s pain or hunger. As the child grows, it learns about many things and craving for attention, craving for things start.
When into adulthood, each person transforms in his own way based on his experiences. Some people can easily go through the tough trials of life while others struggle. Many get into depression, anxiety and other mental disorders. Nowadays,the world has changed so much and people are caught in the virtual world and they to find happiness in something which is not even real.
I think Meditation is a great way to calm the mind. I was earlier thinking that how can sitting and closing the eyes solve our problems? Later I started trying some breathing exercises and I found that miracles do happen. I feel closer to God, intuitions work and serendipity is real.
In simple words, I can say that I am learning to trick the brain as happy. Once I watched a random YouTube video where they asked us to simply stretch our lips as if smiling many times a day. So the brain thinks that we are happy. As per the teachings of Neville Goddard, “What we get is not what we ask but what we feel.”
I just want to say that first of all, the home environment should be stable for us to be happy. Let the other things go haywire. Few years ago, I was so clingy to my husband. That I would get tensed if he didn’t come home early. Even with lot of expectations, nothing would actually come to fruition. Slowly, I let go because I could feel the suffocation. Actually letting go sets us free and I could only understand it with experience. I could understand that No one is perfect and we must just try to find the perfection in imperfection, and never try to change a person. Life teaches us many things even if we refuse to learn and that’s the beauty of life.
Imagine how a person can be happy to get a promotion at work when at home, he is having daily fights with his partner or has no one at home to rejoice his win! It’s so difficult to be happy. The outer world perceives us to be in some way. But we ourselves know our inner struggles.
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
Being an introvert, it is not easy to be a public speaker. I have experienced the same always. That too after my adolescence. Before that, when in school, I remember, my father dictated me the Independence day speech and I by hearted and spoke the same, holding the mic.
Strangely enough, after high school rarely did I hold the mic in school or even later in colleges. But I would admire my seniors and friends who would perform on stage. I can write flawlessly, talking makes me to panic. I need to work on this. Even now.
When I was working in a PHC, I invariably had to address, at Gram panchayath meetings, where public and other dept officers would gather. I myself would gather a lot of courage and would speak my best as it was my own subject-Health. What I noticed was that people always would complain about government hospital expecting the only one Doctor to be omnipresent, be omnipotent, handle multiple things without rest, like we are not normal human beings. After I spoke and gave a detailed account of all the services we offer at the government hospital, still some Tom , Dick and Harry would get up and complain, some of them even drunk. Sometimes I felt de motivated. However, I continued my work to the best of my capacity, as long as I stayed there. I felt a lot of happiness when I used to visit the anganwadi centres for health check ups, the government schools and hostels of my PHC area for check ups and to talk on some awareness programmes like how to prevent dengue, chikungunya, about adolescent health etc etc.
The children would recognize me months or years later at some random place and would wish me “Good morning miss! You are our PHC Doctor and you had visited our school.”
Being a government doctor many times de motivates the doctor during some circumstances and on some occasions like the ones I described above, it makes us proud. Anyway I try to remember only the good things, I continue to be myself whatever the external world situation is.
One more day, I got an opportunity to address a large gathering of 500 plus parents in a private school in my PHC area about the concerns of administering the Measles Rubella (MR) vaccine I when it was introduced for the first time for mass vaccination in schools known as MR campaign in 2017.
Once I spoke on Women’s day in a village panchayath. I have spoken to mothers and old aged people innumerable times at anganwadis regarding their health concerns.
Another day, I spoke a few words in a jampacked hall, when one of our very popular District Health officer send off function was organized at our office. My hands went cold, I managed to finish with claps by the audience.
A very big lesson that I was taught in my trainings is that for the speech to be effective, the audience should be selected in such a way that the topic should be relevant for them. The speech should neither be too short or too lengthy, because it cannot capture the attention of the audience. I cannot speak about old age care to expectant mothers and benefits of breast feeding to old men or women! Language should be local, acceptable, complicated words or jargons should be avoided. The dress we wear should also be appropriate for the place and occassion.My dad always taught me, “Be a Roman when you are in Rome.”
Now too I can speak, but then I must prepare myself a bit before any such meeting. To speak to a gathering especially when many senior officials are present, I feel nervous as I feel I maybe judged. Or I may go wrong. However, I wish to be a flawless public speaker, to improve my skills day by day.
This prompt helped me to quickly remember and cherish my past.
Tomorrow, the 21st to 24th is Pulse polio programme, all over India. This is one programme I have got the chance to work when I was a medical student in BMC, during my internship, and later from 2005-2019, I as the team leader of my PHC, I cherish a lot of good memories of how we reached the hard to reach areas and vaccinated the kids from 0-5 years. India is already declared Polio free, but then the threat exists due to its continued transmission in the neighbouring countries of India. Let us join hands and contribute to the Pulse polio programme.
This prompt is interesting. Asking myself what do I hope that people say about me. Meaning that I am craving inside of me that the person opposite to me must tell me something I like to hear. Obviously, no one would like criticism and sarcasm. Everyone will like praising.
If this is asked in general, you know it all depends on your age, your circumstances, your beliefs, your experiences etc. What I feel today may not hold good for yesterday or tomorrow. If it was ten, twenty years back, I would have answered that I would like if people tell me that I look good, I am intelligent, I am successful etc etc.
When I watched movies, I felt overwhelmed when the hero like Shahrukh Khan has a different vibe, a different aura, all people look at him when he is fighting, or dancing or laughing or whatever he does! The background music would also match in unison! But in real life, what are we? Just normal human beings doing the normal chores. Who would talk about me anyway? I am neither Newton nor Galileo. I wonder if in those times, these people were talked about by their neighbours and friends and family. Or did they simply focus on their work, their passion and then grow silently to be recognized much later?
I am trying to look at it in a different way. After years of experience, I feel that seeking validation from others could be a sign of immaturity and lack of confidence. I am imagining this scenario at work place. First I would like to validate my work myself if whatever I have done is complete, better than yesterday, whether I am upgrading my skills, whether there is value addition in any way. If I am convinced, I no longer wait for anyone’s comments. However, I do welcome criticism because that’s what pricks me, alerts me, puts me on my toes and helps me to become better.
At home, things are different. My childish, immature version sometimes becomes active. I sometimes seek validation from my husband and children whether what I have cooked is tasty or not. My husband says that if he eats silently without comments, then I must understand that it is good and should not ask! But then, I ask him what will happen if he praises me? After all, praising is like encouraging. He disagrees. Now, how can I change other’s perspectives? I only have to decide how I should respond.
Would anyone agree? For self growth, internal validation is more apt than external validation is what I believe!
Motivational and Inspirational life quote with contemporary abstract fine art paintings
I am astonished at the fact how we are running behind time or after time I don’t know what to say.. I can still remember the birth process of my daughter as if it was yesterday. It was early morning 4 am when I got sudden labour pains and though the hospital was about 15 mins from home, my waters broke as soon as I got down the car. God knows why my husband brought even my son along who was half asleep. I started screaming at the top of my voice while I called the good Samaritan Obstetrician. He felt that he should bring along the anaesthetist in case I go for C section!
The sister asked me to lie down and slide towards the edge of the labour cot. As she was wearing her gloves, this baby just slid out and dropped on the bed. I thanked God thousand times because I was finding it hardest to get myself to the edge. If I had done so, this baby would have fallen straight into the bucket!
The Doctor came later and sutured the tear. Other things followed, we were shifted to the ward where I hardly stayed for a day. I remember she didn’t open her eyes for an hour or so and did open to the call of my dad. He was the first person she saw.
Today she turned 16. Now she is a responsible teenager, I hope so. I wish her a very happy birthday and a bright future ahead.. I thank God for the way she has evolved over the years because I have not been able to give her my fullest attention. However, she has been like a mother to me on many occasions. She has been a very understanding and compassionate daughter. Thank you God a million times.
Many days when she was a baby, I have felt holding her tiny hands that they remain tiny, soft, innocent always. Why can’t the time just stand still? Why can’t the kids remain kids?
Alas, time flies and it is an inevitable cycle..
I gifted her this book. I hope she finds it useful. Happy Birthday dear..
“Behind every great daughter is a truly amazing dad”
I am very happy to write about my dad and I remember that last year, I was so busy in the work, there was an important e file to be moved at office, but the work didn’t get over soon. But I had to finish it after coming home. I finished finally and later in the late night I wrote the post “My dad”.
Today I am even more excited because my dad has completed 85 years of his life successfully.
My dad is a very simple, down to earth person who is always smiling, even in difficulties. When both me and my sister became Doctors, I think those were his very precious moments. He was born in 1940, pre independence era! That excites me a lot. He used to tell past stories of village life, how difficult it was to lead a normal life, to earn the daily bread. But however, my grandfather had encouraged him to study in school. My dad had a younger sister, who happens to be my mother in law but she is no more now.. She had to stay back at home without school to look after her siblings. Even she was very fond of narrating old childhood stories. I used to forget all the work stress when listening to the stories which she repeated with the same excitement every time! My dad later passed his BA and then had tried to clear Civil service exams, but could not. Then he had applied for CBI or whatever the investigation department was existing at that time. But he said that he was not permitted to go far off to Delhi because of family responsibilities. Then he had to settle for an Accountant job at the AG office in Bengaluru. Later, after few years, there were chaos in his life in his first marriage, and he then married my mom. I was the second child, the first child was born pre term and it died. When I was born, my dad says that he used to make me sleep on his lap and he studied at night. He passed Law from an evening college. His life took a 360 degree turn after that. He resigned from the AGs job and pursued law practice. That is something not many can take a decision. To resign from a government job and be a free bird! I admire him a lot for the courageous decision. Later my sister was born. For as long as I can remember, my dad always encouraged us in our studies, tried to teach us good qualities by narrating stories of real life or Ramayana, Mahabharatha etc. He got us new clothes before every festival and birthdays. We were free to choose whatever we liked. There were many holidays and sundays of movie/ restaurant outings, even weekdays of short walks to temples/ pani puri, masala puri. Whenever we asked for books or stationery, immediately he used to take us to the shop and get us the required things. My dad always said “You should be an asset to the society”. He said knowledge is power and at the same time, he said that knowledge is like an ocean no one can boast of being intelligent because no one except God is perfect. So one should always be thirsty for knowledge and be humble always no matter what. During my 10th exams, (which was SSLC in State syllabus), I was always tensed and I cried daily. While my mom never made us to do any household work, she was busy cooking , cleaning etc, a silent warrior herself! My dad was waking up with me till late night till I finished studying. He came to leave me to the school daily and wished me good luck. While coming back home, one day, he saw my dull face and said” You know what Lord Krishna has told in Bhagavadgita? Do your duty but never expect the fruits of it. Because it is given by God. It is not yours. Only Karma is your duty. So you work hard but don’t worry about the results.” The day of result came and I had scored 91% . He was very happy, my mom told everyone and each aunty of my street invited me home to congratulate me! As no one in the family had scored high marks, naturally they were very happy. Later he was responsible for me and my sister to become Doctors, the cream of the society..
I have always seen him taking very good care of us. If we returned home late, he used to yell at my mom, but never at us. I take this opportunity to thank my dad for all his tireless, selfless service he rendered to his family. I always pray God to keep him healthy and strong! No matter what.
Food in the question looks like a general term. I am unable to comprehend whether it is the broad term like South Indian/North Indian/Chinese/Mediterranean or one specific food item.
Being a resident of South Karnataka, preparation of ragi ball is very much essential, without which we feel very very less energetic.
So, my speciality is broadly South Indian but rather than idlies and dosas, I prefer ragi ball with any curry.
Apart from this, one specific curry of dried Lima beans is what I feel that I can cook very specially.
Everytime I cook , that authentic aroma is so irresistible. I mean so good that my family members especially my husband craves for more and more.
Lima beans (Avarekaalu in Kannada) are seasonal, we get it here when we are nearing Sankranthi festival. But nowadays, it is available in all seasons. But it tastes best when grown naturally during its season. The fresh beans are also very popular and are used to prepare a variety of food items, be it curry, or upma, bisibelebath, pulav and so many others. When the fresh beans are soaked in water and outer layer is removed, it turns into another famous curry recipe( we call hidakida bele saaru!) they are added to non vegetarian curries also.
The dried ones can be kept for years when properly stored. I get it from my hometown in Kolar district where it is grown abundantly and tastes so nice.
To prepare the tasty dried beans curry, First, we need to fry the dry beans for few minutes, the colour changes with few dark spots and the aroma tells us when it is ready. Too much or too less frying can affect the taste of the curry. Then, it is mixed with enough water with salt and kept to pressure cook for about 5-6 whistles. If we add any vegetables along with the beans, they become overcooked. So I generally add brinjal and potato pieces after 5 whistles and then I will go for 1 more whistle or if time permits, we can cook for 7-10 minutes in open vessel after adding vegetables. Now the masala: Quantity of each depends on how much of beans we have taken. For about 150-200 grams, I take 2 Onions 8-10 pieces of garlic, 2 tomatoes 11/2 teaspoon of cumin seeds 1 teaspoon of black pepper Handful of fresh coriander To be ground and added to the boiled lima beans and vegetables. Tamarind water is also added, salt and sambar powder and chilli powder are added according to the taste. Finally, mustard and curry leaves seasoning finishes curry.
Every day is a new day, waiting to be lived. Wholly, with full potential, happily, peacefully! That’s something which every person wants to do ideally. However, we all know that life is unpredictable.
In my opinion, a child is someone who can spend the day most peacefully. The only time it cries is when hungry or if in pain/ discomfort. Whereas we adults who have the most well developed and well evolved brain of all species are not so sure if we can spend a day ideally in our lives.
I have felt that we all have our own small worlds within this unimaginably large universe. All of us just want to be within that small world consisting of few people whom we acknowledge and few places we like to be in whether it is office, home, a corner of the home probably, a hotel, a shopping mall etc etc. We have some expectations from all these assets for them to be or behave in a certain way that we want or we like. If it is fulfilled, it feels like a great achievement. If not, it feels like a great loss!
The other day, I came cross someone’s story in Quora, where a husband was expressing his helplessness because his wife is authoritative, always asks of approval from the family members, is a great spendthrift and spends most of the husband’s salary on her whims and fancies.If by any chance he doesn’t listen to her, then life becomes hell for him or anyone at home because she continuously taunts them for hours together. If she asks Am I looking beautiful, then he should say Yes. If she asks Do you love me? Then he should say yes. If she asks how have I cooked the food, then all should say it is the tastiest.
With so many people caught in the web of the inevitable relationships and the uncountable expectations and challenges that one has to face in daily life how can everyone be mentally healthy in this world?
The WHO definition of Mental health is too good.
“A state of well being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stress of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”
WHO states that 14% of the global burden of disease is attributed to mental, neurological and substance abusedisorders.
According to National Mental Health Survey [NMHS] Report Of India 2015-16, in India,, Prevalenceof mental disorders are:
Common mental disorders -10% ofthe population,
Severe mental disorders-0.8%,
High suicidal risk-1% and
Substance use disorders including alcohol and tobacco use- 22.4% of the population above 18 years.
The statistics will keep changing. Many new disorders are missing here like social media app addicts! When will we ever know the burden, let alone ways to manage.
Every year there are few days to celebrate in the Health calendar and the celebration only is an attempt to heighten the awareness of general public in that particular topic. But the learning has to be in corporated in the daily life. Or else it is just meaningless.
The theme of World Mental Day for 2025 is “Access to Service: Mental Health in Catastrophes and Emergencies”. Disasters are a part of life especially in some areas of the world which are prone for natural disasters like earthquakes, floods etc and some are man made disasters like war/conflicts. Due to the loss of the near and dear ones as also the loss of assets, people affected are prone to PTSD which is post traumatic stress disorder. The condition need not worsen when proper psychosocial support is available at the right time, which is what the theme talks about. After all, resilience is also a special trait, unique to human beings.
A small write up can not explain anything and Global Mental Health is a topic of great importance and deserves to be so for years to come. After all, emotions are what separates humans from other animals basically. However I hope someone finds this topic interesting!
courtesy:Pinterest
Covid 19 pandemic was also one such catastrophe situation that we all had faced.
Miles to go before I sleep.... 