Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, artist, birthmother, family, hy roth, reunion
I just got a job in Colorado as the head of media arts, animation, motion graphics and visual effects departments at an art school. I’m starting in May and will be staying with my birthmother initially.
I feel like I’m in a dream. A job to advance my career in proximity to my birthmother and my two brothers. One of my brothers is coming back from Afghanistan and is thinking about going to the school that I will be working at.
I had planned a trip to Chicago to visit my adoptive family and attend an animation conference before I was offered the job. When I’m there I will also visit the relative I found who is an artist. He is in a nursing home in Evanston. I was told that he was the head of a department at an art school as well.
When i return, my birthmother is coming here and we are going to drive out there together.
This is full circle. Two years ago, at this time, I realized that her mother had died and went out there to begin our re-reunion. I also took a trip to Chicago and went to the same animation conference ~ in the same order.
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthmother, family, mother, relationship, reunion
I was recently able to take a trip to Colorado, due to a job interview and spend time with my birthmother. We were able to reconnect. The context of the visit diffused stress and we had fun together. It has been about 6 months since I have seen her and we’ve been through a lot ~ dealing with my birthfather and what it means to be in eachother’s lives. This is a picture of us with her husband. He is dealing with health issues related to diabetes, but seemed in good spirits during this trip.
Filed under: adoption, Synchronicity | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthmother, family, relationship, reunion
I just returned from an interview for a good position in Colorado. I had only applied for this position and was able to get an in person interview. They flew me out and I stayed for the week, so I could spend some time with my birthmother. How amazing would it be to have a position that furthered my career in proximity to my birth family.
I feel as if I am in a dream ~ swept away by the force of the universe…
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthfather, family, relationship, reunion, search
I contacted my birthfather again ~ this is what I said….
Ray ~
It was good to hear back from you. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. You had mentioned that one of your daughters was sick as well ~ I hope she is ok. Do you have more than one daughter?
I am not one to give up easily, because I feel that we are all on a journey in this life. It might not take us where we would like, but it takes us there none the less. It is important for me to find out who I am.
Since Eileen is convinced that you are my birthfather and you won’t respond to my request for basic information, I would like to suggest that we verify or refute the facts in a formal/scientific way.
I would like to request that you take a DNA test in order to know the truth once and for all. I can take care of all the arrangements for the test.
If this is something you are not comfortable with, then please provide me with the basic medical, genetic and family information that I previously requested.
Again, I don’t want anything from you, but this basic information.
Attached is a picture of myself, hopefully you can see it this time…
If not you can see my picture on my facebook profile at http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/profile.php?id=1484440614&ref=nam e
~ Julie
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthmother, facebook, family, grandfather, mother, reunion, search, tree
I’ve now connected with members of my birth grandfather’s family ~ my birth mother’s father’s family. This is a picture of my great grandmother, his mother. I’ve connected with the family through Facebook and Geni. They even added me to their family tree. This is a big deal. I’ve always felt a disconnect between the family tree experience and my adoptive family. I felt that I had a relationship to those I knew, but when it came to distant ancestors, I just couldn’t find a connection. When seeing the ancestors in this family, I am moved. I am also moved by being in contact with those who are alive. Thank you internet!
Filed under: adoption, Creativity | Tags: adoptee, adoption, art, artist, birthmother, hy roth, reunion
I finally found out that the one artist in my family is alive! We lived in proximity to each other for years, but I never knew of him. I’ve been in touch with a friend of his who is an art director. I wrote about him in a couple of earlier posts – https://eilujion.wordpress.com/2007/09/22/artist-in-the-family/#comments & https://eilujion.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/job-near-birthmother-and-extended-family/
I found his daughter and also found out that he was in a nursing home. His friend went to visit him, printing out a picture that my birthmother had gotten from him when she was 10yrs old and had saved all these years. The picture on this post is of him drawing with a printout of the picture my birthmother had saved.
This is what his friend wrote after visiting:
Julie,
I visited Hy today. He appeared glad to see me, but it’s very difficult to understand what he’s saying. I know he understands me.
I brought him the art supplies and got him draw something for you and asked him to sign it ‘For Julie’ and he did.
I think written communication would be best. I told him all about you but I’m not really sure he understood it all. I gave him the drawing he gave your mother, you can see it in the bottom photo.
Why don’t you write him and tell him the whole story. I’m sure he would be excited to know. And encourage him to draw. He hasn’t been drawing.
When I mentioned Tracy, he seemed to get a little sad. Guess he misses not seeing her.
Sol
I
Filed under: adoption, Synchronicity | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthmother, facebook, reunion
Way back in December, I applied for a job in Colorado which had come to me in a round about way. I hadn’t been applying for jobs, but the description of this one was wonderful and it was right in proximity to my birthfamily. Since then I’ve had a couple of phone interviews and today I received an e-mail that they want to fly me out for an in person interview at the end of the month. I feel like this is such a miracle and I’m totally overwhelmed. To live in proximity to my birthfamily would be pretty incredible.
I’ve also been on a search for a cousin in the family who is an artist. This is a link to an earlier entry on the topic. I ended up meeting with a colleague of his who showed me a lot of different kinds of illustration work he created. His colleague had said that he hadn’t heard from him in a while and was concerned about him. He knew that he had a daughter. After that meeting, I started searching for his daughter and recently found her. I also found out that he is still alive. I am waiting to hear back from her to see where all of his artwork is and if it is archived. She wrote this on my Facebook wall ~ Hi, long lost cousin Julie, gosh you do look alot like the family. I am just awe struck. Please send me e-mails when you can. I want to get to know you better.
The image attached to this post is one of his illustrations.
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthfather, letter, relationship, reunion, search
I just sent another letter to my supposed birthfather:
Hello ~
I hadn’t heard back from you and thought that I might as well follow through.
The fact that you pulled yourself off of Facebook and the fact that you won’t respond to my e-mail, makes me think that this situation is more to you than you can deal with.
It’s O.K…
If I am of your flesh – that is good. If I’m not, then you’re just helping someone though a transition in their life. Everything happens for a reason.
I believe that you could provide some valuable information ~ family heritage, medical history and a picture or two. I’m sure there are good people in your family and I’m sure you can find some of that goodness in your heart.
Think of it as points on your record ~ your redemption for whatever sins might be haunting you. I am a wonderful person, with all the best intentions ~ let’s put this behind us.
What a great thing to give up for lent ~ resistance…
I look forward to hearing back from you… soon (hopefully)…
Sincerely ~ Julie
Attached is a picture of myself…
He responded within 2 hours. This is what he said ~
Julie
Sorry that I haven’t written back to you.Ihave been very sick and one of my daughter’s is sick and mught be put in the hospita; and this breaks me up real bad.I am not your father in any way;I couldn’t download yiur picture.
Ray
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthmother, relationship, reunion
I have finally spoken the my birthmother after she said that she needed space. It was good to talk. We talked a lot ~ or I think I talked a lot. She called a couple of days ago and we spoke in the morning and the evening for about two hours during each call. Then we spoke the next day. It just so happens, that day, I had a breakdown with my partner. We have now taken a break from each other. Our fight had nothing directly to do with my birthmother. When I told my birthmother that we were taking space apart and how upset I was, she immediately offered to be there for me and ‘come get me’ if that was necessary. This struck a cord with me because I have been asking her to visit for quite a long time and she hasn’t. Does it have to come to such a crisis in order for her to really be there for me? Why wouldn’t she realize that a visit from her may have eased some of the tension in my life? I feel it’s almost as if she can’t validate my life as it is. She wants to take me into her life and have me there, but has a hard time acknowledging who I am. This is a very stressful struggle. I feel that since I found her, my sense of self has changed profoundly, yet I’m not sure how to incorporate it into my life, to create a new life, validating the person I feel inside.
Filed under: adoption | Tags: adoptee, adoption, birthsister, facebook, search
I have not heard anything from my birthfather and he hasn’t opened up the e-mail again. I did go searching around on Facebook, where I originally found him, and saw that he had a daughter. Her icon picture was of her kids, who I found out from my birthmother’s brief conversation with him, are also adopted. So, I couldn’t see her picture. I saw that she was married, and her husband had his picture as his icon. I was able to see his profile, because I had joined their regional network. He had a few more pictures of himself and some of their thee adopted kids. I was so disappointed that I couldn’t see her picture. I decided to take a look at some of her friends profiles who were also part of the regional network. Luckily, the first one that I chose had three tagged pictures of her. This one is the first one I saw.
E i l u j i o n 