Hey! Hi. I’m alive. I know, crazy, right?
Another year has come and gone, and it’s time once again to reflect on what happened amidst Earth’s latest lap around the sun. Even though I ended up kind of disappearing from this site towards the end of 2023, there is a lot to talk about concerning my absence, what happened when I was here, and what will happen in the future. I just need to remember how to put thoughts into words again. Let’s see how this goes.
When it comes to Facelessbookblog, I remember having plans to try to change things up, and add more types of reviews and content to what I was already doing. I established those new ideas initially with inspiration and excitement, but it quickly became a source of burnout for me more than anything. I’ll admit that I have a habit of announcing things, then silently dropping whatever was announced. It’s because I have this impulse to jump into new projects without properly thinking about whether it’s something I’ll enjoy doing long-term, and whether that enjoyment will outweigh potential stress, and I’m sorry about any projects that have died out or been seemingly cancelled as a result of this.
The biggest thing I think I’ve learned in 2023, at least when it comes to the content I make online, is to stop trying to reinvent the wheel whenever I think I’ve been doing the same thing for too long. It has led to me overworking myself too many times, and it’s part of the reason I’ve begun straying towards mediums other than this website. I learned that if I enjoy doing something, the only changes I ever need to make are the ones that make me better at doing that thing, and the ones that allow me to continue enjoying it.
A prime example of this coming into effect this year was the massive development of my music project, VIRUS. I’ll be completely transparent and say that towards the end of what I call the “origins stage” of VIRUS, the period of time where I was attempting to build out a massive narrative set within a fictional universe, I wasn’t enjoying what I was making as much as I should have. I was trying to make it something more than what it needed to be, and as a result, I felt like my music wasn’t an expression of my own thoughts anymore. It was more a display of the thoughts and actions of characters who had developed in a way that I felt disconnected from them. In a strange way, even though the VIRUS lore was something I created entirely on my own, the content that came out of it didn’t feel like something in character for me to make. This is especially true with the last song in the “origin stage”, Spotlight. I had hopes to do something experimental and lean further into an electronic/hip-hop, while still blending it with hard rock, but the final product was undeniable proof that I was in over my head, trying to do something before I had enough knowledge to execute it properly.
So I decided that things had to change, but instead of giving myself something new to work on, I ended up cutting VIRUS basically in half. I dropped my self-indicted task of adding overcomplicated lore to the story, and focused on what VIRUS was supposed to be- music. After a cycle of spending months on end trying to make song after song that needed to not only be a self-contained expression, but also fit as a piece of a larger puzzle, I took a different approach, and just wrote about myself. After a mere four days of work, out came Barely Functioning, a song that I still hold very close to my heart. Not only was it the beginning of me actually developing my own style, it was when I started being more open about myself through my music. Though Barely Functioning is far from a light-hearted, positive song, it’s one that, to me, partly symbolizes comfort in my life. Comfort to say what I want to say, not what I tell myself to say in hopes that it will be easier for others to digest.
There was no looking back after that. I had big ideas for this new stage of VIRUS, and with that came a little bit of a learning curve. I needed to give VIRUS room to grow, and leave room for new ideas, but there had to be somewhat of a formula so that I didn’t overcomplicate things again. This is something I’m still figuring out, but as of right now, the new approach taken with VIRUS has led to it finally beginning to scratch the surface of the potential I had hoped it would reach for so long.
I feel like a broken record saying this again, but it’s been so nice having VIRUS be something that’s known to people in my life. Making new outlets for it, through Youtube and social media, has done wonders for it, and the traction it has gained, while still quite small, is insane to me. Being more expressive through this music has partly helped me become more connected with, well, everything and everyone around me. In a mere few months, I’ve had songs reach numbers they never would have reached if they had stayed stuck on Soundcloud. I’ve gotten feedback from friends who share the same passion for music on what works, and what can improve. I’ve even had the opportunity to perform with established musicians in the local scene. All because I listened to my heart, and realized that I didn’t want to invest in an extended universe that may or may not pay off years into the future. I wanted to do what I love in the moment. So that’s what I’m going to keep doing.
This approach is something I’d like to see if I can apply to Facelessbook. I want to focus my content here on what I’m fully passionate about, and what can help me and my career. I’ve mentioned before the idea of leaning more heavily into the music review side of things, and it’s something back in heavy consideration. I know that talking about horror games and Marvel movies is what gets the view count up here, but I need to readjust my focus so that I can further anchor myself into the industry I hope to one day make a living in. So don’t be surprised if, when and if my proper return to this site comes any time soon, things start to change drastically. Like I did with VIRUS, this site may end up being simplified, and the content will be much more streamlined, tailored to my biggest interests and passions. I kind of just randomly gave up on the whole “faceless” thing anyway, having shown my face on Instagram a few times, so who knows? Maybe you’ll get to see a little more of the real me here.
In the past, these end-of-year posts were a lot easier to write, because I could go back and just look at what I had done each month but to be honest, there weren’t too many highlights this year. All of the big stuff I could have covered happened when I was taking time away from Facelessbook. I was busy working on VIRUS, and I guess I should let you know now that it’ll remain that way for a while.
I have some plans for 2024, however, and we can talk about that a little. The biggest thing I have in the works is VIRUS’ first EP. I announced this a few months back on social media, and I’ve been hard at work on it ever since. It was originally going to be called Restless, but I have changed my mind on what I want to title it, and that, the cover art, and other aspects of the EP will be revealed as it gets closer to being completed and I have a better idea of when it’s going to release.
But, to fill you in if you aren’t already aware, I’m hoping to have the EP done and released by the end of May, right around the time when I graduate, and I have my own personal reasons for that. There will be 5 songs, two of which you can hear the demo versions of right now on Youtube, Soundcloud and Bandlab. When the full record drops, everything will be available in the places I just mentioned, but it will also be the release that kicks off VIRUS’ presence on Spotify, as well as other streaming platforms which will, again, be confirmed in time.
I have had so much fun working on this EP, and I’ve been able to learn so much about my craft through the process. It’s also been a bit of an emotional project, one that’s been influenced by a lot of internal reflection and lessons learned in recent years of life. You’ll see when it releases that the EP will be dealing with some heavy themes, ones that have really only ever been vaguely present in past VIRUS music. A lot can be left up to interpretation, as music should be, but if Barely Functioning’s lyrics are anything to go by, expect things to get a little more… let’s say, explicit.
There’s a couple songs on the softer side, but one big goal with this EP was to get as heavy as possible with at least three of the five tracks. I’ve talked on Instagram about how I’m working on some of the darkest music I have ever made, and as I hone my production skills and train and expand my voice, I’ve been able to bring out a new level of aggression with this EP, something I hope will appeal to fans of heavier music.
Overall, these are the kinds of songs I’ve been wanting to write for a long time, and being able to get things off my chest and be a little more real with my music has been very cathartic.
In terms of progress, things are running smoothly, but there’s still a long way to go. There will be a full progress update dropping on Youtube tomorrow, which will go over the current state of things in much more detail, but the TL;DR is that the “demo version” is done. I have the skeletons of each song structured, so now I’ll be going top to bottom through the whole track list, doing whatever editing, re-recording, remixing needs to be done.
I have some other plans that I’ll reveal as the year goes on, but for right now, I want to thank you all again for such a great 2023. This has been a big year for me personally, as I’ve watched my life take a complete 180 into a better direction. So much changed for me, but it was all change for good. I’m going into 2024 the strongest I’ve felt in a long time, physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever other “-ys” you can think of. I went into 2023 dreading the pressure of getting my life together by graduation, and overall thinking it would be a mediocre year for me.
Instead, I ended up making some of my proudest art to date, meeting a lot of great people, getting my first job, and getting cool opportunities to work with and perform with fellow musicians. I joined a new band, I’m in multiple head positions for school programs, I found out the county is going to fund my first two years of college, and I’ve made a lot of great friendships, and strengthened my relationships with the people I’ve already known.
Putting it all together like that, I guess overall, I feel more secure about my place in the world. Looking back on how much opportunity I’ve had to grow as a person, it makes the idea of a New Year’s Resolution feel obsolete. I’m far from perfect, I know I can still change a lot, but I think in 2024, when it comes to self-improvement, I’m going to keep doing what I tried doing this year. I’m taking things one day at a time. I’m trying not to think too much about what I need to do, or who I need to be, and instead I want to live my life, and put in the work to overcome challenges as they come my way. I want to grow and change like a human, not a computer waiting for the next task to complete, or the next forced system update.
I know things have been a little dead here as of recent, and I apologize for that. But there are still big things coming, and I’m excited about the future. That’s a sentence I throw around a lot, but I really feel like I mean it this time around. I hope everyone has a happy New Year, and as always, I’ll see you all soon.
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