Casual Thoughts

Was born on the 22nd day of February, year 2000. She grew up, not knowing how to live her life without the words of others. She wasn’t perfect. No one is. She had pimples. Her hair is curly, sometimes cute, but most of the time, not. She speaks loudly, she’s really noisy. She has jokes, she’s funny. She wasn’t as pretty like most of the girls out there. 

But no matter how loud she is, pain filled her heart. Wishing she could be perfect. Perfect attitude, perfect face, perfect body.

But she realized, she wouldn’t, and shouldn’t change for anybody.

Because she is made not to be perfect. She is made by God to be strong.

And this was written by her.

Sa lahat nang naging crush ‘ko, siya lang ang tumagal. Apat na taon. Masaya, dahil wala syang crush. At least kahit alam ‘kong wala akong pag-asa, alam ‘ko naman na wala akong kaagaw. Hahahaha. Nagkaroon din naman ako ng ibang crush, pero di sya nawawala sa listahan ‘ko. Top 1 parin sya palagi. (Talagang listahan? Malandi si Ateng hahahaha.) Hanggang isang araw, nakita ‘kong may shinare sya sa Facebook. Album ng isang babaeng itatago ‘ko nalang sa pangalang ‘Jate’. 

Hindi ako nag-alinlangang i-stalk ‘yung profile nung girl. Si Jate, di gaanong kagandahan. Mukhang mas matanda sakin, at sa kanya. Aba naman. Lahat ng picture nitong babae, nila-like ni crush. May chinismis din sakin ‘yung friend ‘ko, na sadyang nakaka-hurt talaga. Naiwan kasi ni crush na nakabukas ‘yung FB acc nya sa phone nitong si Friend. Friend nalang itatawag ‘ko. Binuksan ni Friend ‘yung chatbox ni Crush at ni Jate. Halata daw na may gusto itong si Crush kay Jate.

Siguro, pahiwatig na din ‘yun na kelangan ‘ko nang tumigil. Ewan, madrama at corny, pero talagang kelangan na. Husto naman akong na-hurt. Sabi ng classmates ‘ko, sayang daw, bakit ‘ko daw inayawan si Crush. Talented, matalino, at gwapo. (May kaliitan nga lang. Di naman sa sobrang liit. I mean, mas matangkad ako. So mejo turn off ‘yun hahaha.) 

Sagot ‘ko sa kanila, “Hayaan nyo na. At saka kahit ilang dekada ‘ko pa yun maging crush, wala naman akong pag-asa.”

Itong si Crush, iniyakan ‘ko na rin dati, dahilan nang selos. Napaka-corny pero totoo.

Kinuwento sakin ni Friend, dati daw, Wednesday ng umaga, nung time na na-late ako para sa First Subject ‘ko, tinawanan daw ako ni Crush. Tinanong daw ni Friend ‘kung bakit tumawa si Crush.

“Kasi, late si Veronica. Hahahaha.”

“Kasi, late si Veronica. Hahahaha.”

“Kasi, late si Veronica. Hahahaha.”

“Kasi, late si Veronica. Hahahaha.”

“Kasi, late si Veronica. Hahahaha.”

I still can’t believe na nagawa nyang banggitin ‘yung name ‘ko. Nagagawa nya pa palang sabihin ang pangalan ‘ko. Hahaha, hanep.

Among the five boys, he’s the one who caught my eye. I don’t know, but till now I still fantasize. His curly locks and dimples, his mesmerizing eyes. My love for him has no limit, meet Harry Styles.