Birthmother; Reprise

Trying Again November 20, 2009

Well I have this fancy iPhone thing now, and I discovered that there’s a wordpress app. So maybe if my blog can become ultra portable like this, it will be easier to motivate myself to write in it.

Here are the updated facts, in brief: I’m currently in my 33rd week of pregnancy with C’s baby (this will be number 2, after Peter). C bought a house and I moved in with him two and a half months ago. My friend and roommate from my previous place, G, also lives here. G and I have a pact: if after a year, either one of us wants to stop living with C, we’ll both move out. Right now, that’s how I’m feeling. Like I would like to be more than 100 miles away from C when this baby is born (just so future custody issues don’t complicate things if I should ever want to leave town after the baby is born). It’s not a realistic possibility right now; I have no money, and probably won’t for a long time, seeing how all my credit cards just raised their APR’s to 29.99%. Also I can’t lift anything, I have way too much former-life-crap that I need to get rid of first, and I’d rather stay in bed all day.

Is it normal that a male significant other feels disinterested and disconnected enough from the pregnancy that he doesn’t want to go to any doctor’s appointments with you? Even if it’s an ultrasound? Or that your roommate is more interested in talking to the baby and feeling him kick than the baby’s father? I would feel more willing to write this off as genetic male insensitivity, if C hadn’t been saying, “Come on, let’s have a baby!” for the past 2 years.

Also, can I mention that I really hate porn? I try to be all cool and tolerant and open-minded about it most of the time, but I really fucking hate it.