The 1855 Consort Crown of Empress Eugénie, set with diamonds and emeralds in eagle and palmette motifs

Outside the pages of literature (or ancient history) Ferrebeekeeper has no love for monarchs/tyrants/autocrats/warlords. Hopefully you have similar feelings and enjoy the opportunity to go out and speak openly of why life was never meant to be lived in subjugation to suchlike despots! Yet one of our most popular categories here at ye olde blog has always been “crowns” [indeed, the top post of all time has long been this essay about the red, white, and blue crowns of Ancient Egypt] Why do we care so much about these preposterous jeweled hats and the quasi-mystical status that somehow becomes attached to garish objects which would seem better suited to gangsta-rappers than an art museum?

Beloved late fantasy author, Terry Pratchett, had a loose theory that there is an empty place in the human brain where people always want to put kings. This seems functionally correct– although perhaps the clinical language of primatology explains it better than the fun and sparkling language of Pratchett-fantasy: status hierarchy is such an innate part of part of primate behavior, self-understanding, and organization that finer attempts at self-governance and equality can easily be highjacked by certain dominance behaviors (this perhaps also explains why the loudest, orangest, & fattest man in America commands such unwarranted thralldom from so many otherwise sensible citizens…and why that same orange fat man is always waving or hawking gaudy gilded objects).

All of which is a circuitous introduction to the remarkable events which took place yesterday in Paris, when old-fashioned jewel thieves used a cherry picker and angle-grinders to rob the Louvre’s second floor gallery of crown jewels! The thieves arrived at the Louvre at 9:30 AM (just after opening) with fluorescent workman’s vests and a monte-meubles (a hydraulic lifting machine for moving furniture). They cut through the barred windows and jewelry display cases with power tools and then sped away on motor bikes all within about seven minutes. The brazen daylight theft shocked the French state and has already engendered much hand-wringing about the security of cultural sights and national treasures in nation still on edge after the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral.

The burglars successfully stole two historical diadems (detailed below) as well as a number of jeweled necklaces and earrings, however they did not successfully make off with their biggest prize, the coronation crown of Empress Eugénie (pictured at the top of this post) which was damaged during the heist, but recovered outside the building. The pieces the thieves did manage to snatch were the pearl tiara of Empress Eugénie seen here:

The pearl and diamond tiara of Empress Eugénie made in 1853 by Gabriel Lemonnier using jewels from the French Crown collection
Here is a picture of Empress Eugénie wearing the crown

The thieves also made off with the sapphire-diamond tiara (and matching parure set) of Queen Marie-Amélie. Here is a picture of the rather splendid Georgian tiara:

1830s era Sapphire, Diamond, and Pearl Tiara of Queen Marie-Amelie

Although these magnificent pieces of jewelry are extremely valuable and of great historical interest, they are not commensurate in value with some of the other art treasures of the Louvre (like the Mona Lisa, or Venus De Milo which would be difficult to sell in the criminal underworld). Hopefully the pieces will be recovered before they are melted, recut, or defaced!

Also, even French historians or French monarchy enthusiasts might be somewhat forgiven for not knowing who exactly Queen Marie-Amelie and Empress Eugénie are or how they fit into the larger pageant of French history! Queen Marie-Amelie was the wife of King Louis Phillipe, “the citizen king” who was placed in power in 1830 after the epic events of the French Revolution and the Age of Napoleon. She never even properly thought of herself as the true queen of France and just used her own personal jewelry as the crown jewels (although the fact that she was married to a duke and had personal jewels worthy of being the French crown suggest she was still pretty fancy). Louis Phillipe abdicated during the February 1848 Revolution which ushered in the Second French Republic. Empress Eugénie was the wife of Napoleon III, the first president, second emperor, and last king of France, who was deposed when the Second Empire fell during the disastrous 1870 Franco-Prussian War (to be replaced by the Third Republic). Louis Phillipe and Napoleon III were both venal and ineffectual monarchs who were sort of lumped into the “Reaction” half of the 19th century “Reaction-Versus-Progress” chapter of my Modern European History textbook in high school. Although a historian of the 19th century struggles of French democracy, might say otherwise, today these pettifogging kings are less famous than their wives’ tiaras, and now even those are gone!

Usually I post a Crucifixion-themed artwork on Good Friday, but this Easter, there were many chores, but also the cherry tree was blossoming (more about this later!) and with one thing or another, I missed posting a crucifixion work. So I thought I would write a post about Christ after his crucifixion and ascension and full apotheosis–Christ as God, as he appears to his followers after his mortal ministry and earthly existence.

This is Christ Appearing to Saint Peter on the Appian Way painted by Annibale Carracci in the first two years of the 17th century.

After everything, here is the Lord, again. After he has died and risen and flown off from Earth to godhood in heaven, this is how Christ appears on the road to his closest friend and disciple, Simon Peter, now gray and fleeing from the persecutions in Nero’s Rome. Once a humble fisherman on the Sea of Galilee, Peter left a (dead?) wife and everything else behind back in his youth to follow a healer/rabbi to fame and infamy and beyond.

Christ Appearing to Saint Peter on the Appian Way (Annibale Carracci, ca. 1600-1601) Oil on canvas

Now Peter is the first bishop of Rome. He is Christ’s successor on Earth. Saint Peter cannot leave his flock to suffer the tortures of mad Nero and the persecutions of imperial Rome at the height of corruption and madness. Peter must return and preach against Nero and truly follow his master to the cross and torture and death’s suffering. Jesus is not back for the second coming: this is a private one-on-one appearance to a friend. Indeed one feels that maybe Christ is always with Peter, one step away, yet just out of sight, pointing the correct direction forward.

Look at Jesus! He looks like Dionysus, young and beautiful, with flowing locks, clad only in a loincloth and a tyrian purple sash of divine authority. He is wearing the crown of thorns of all worldly suffering as regally as any prince and He carries the cross a lightly as though it were a palm frond. Saint Peter is the new testament’s ultimate everyman, who slips in his devotion to Jesus (or in his understanding of that devotion). But Peter was personally chosen (and renamed!) by Christ to be His right hand on Earth and the rock of His church. A true follower of Christ can not run away from Christ’s wishes even when Christ says “Christian belief means doing what is right even when it costs you everything”

The painting is a beautiful mannerist reminder, that even the most devout Christian can have moments when they deny Christ’s obvious intentions. Saint Peter went back to Rome to stand up to mad Nero and and to face crucifixion (upside down so as to not to profane Christ). These days he is reputed to hold the keys to heaven. Caracci asks whether Christians of 1601 AD have the same mettle. Is Christ alive in your heart like a beautiful real person who is also a glowing god? Or are you selfishly running away from what you know to be right, seeking self-preservation, and denying Christ yet again.

What is best in life? It is an ancient question—the most ancient question!—posed by philosophers, kings & commoners, masters & slaves, children, adults, and dotards since the beginnings of language (and since before then!). Great literature and art of every sort has has probed this fundamental question: what do we need in order to become who we were meant to be? What should we want?

There are as many answers as there are querants, however for today’s post, I would like to highlight what the 1982 sword & sandal fantasy movie “Conan the Barbarian” has to say about the supreme purpose of existence. This is (perhaps) less stupid than it sounds, since the entire movie is dedicated to discovering the answer to “the riddle of steel” which asks how best to live in a world shaped by the dictates and will of powerful others. In this jeweled world of mighty-thewed warriors and canny thieves who reach grasping hands straight for what they most desire, what is worth reaching out to grab?

You should watch the movie! It is entertaining and worth thinking about (though, unsurprisingly, it is filled with problematic 1980s concepts too). It is also aesthetically unique (although many lesser movies have subsequently tried hard to copy its beefy, otherworldy style). However my purpose here is not to recapture the might and magic of Conan [which is a shame, because the film features amazing performances by true silver-screen heavyweights James Earl Jones and Max Von Sydow (RIP, both)).

Awww! I miss those guys! Ahem…but anyway, in the movie, Conan is first a slave…then a gladiator, and then a mercenary…As his role in the world grows his will expands and his opinions change. After a successful battle (unseen and undescribed), some unnamed “paint-by-numbers” Chinese warlord is drinking and talking to his mercenary underlings. One of these underlings is the eponymous Conan, who sits posed in wooden splendor among the Mongols, mounted cavalry, and sellsword riff-raff with his giant deltoids gleaming.  That is when we have this critical exchange:

The Chinese warlord says, “Hao dai ye! [好歹也: ‘anyway’] We have won again…this is good, but what is best in life?“

A wise, stern Mongol warrior answers first by gormlessly saying, “Our animal friends!!”  

Whereupon the warlord shouts “WRONG!” and slaps the animal lover. Then the warlord asks the film’s protagonist, “Conan, what is best in life?”

This time the eponymous barbarian responds (and his response reflects the movies larger arc)! With remorseless Teutonic bloodthirst, Conan replies “To crush you enemies, [to] see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women”

Conan’s answer DOES satisfy the warlord who chuckles wryly and says “yes…YES! That is good…”

Actually, I have paraphrased the precise exchange somewhat for clarity. Really, the Mongol answers the warlord’s question in the  language of high adventure and so his precise words are: “The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.” Animal friends AND complete freedom! (and home too, for where else would a Mongol nomad claim as his rightful residence?)

Of course Conan’s words are a bit different, as well. Played by an Arnold Schwarzenegger new to Hollywood and language coaching, what he really says exactly is “to crusss yourenemies—see dem driven before youuu, and hear da lamentation of dair vimen!” Now this is a fine sentiment for a conqueror (or really for someone consumed with revenge and unhappiness–like Conan), but it does leave you to wonder: what then? If you crush a bunch of enemies, don’t you just wind up with new enemies? Also it sounds exultant…but joyless too.

Just like real life, “Conan the Barbarian” is filled with deadly narcissists, cult leaders, besotted kings, and stoogelike followers. It is hard to make sense of the mishmash…plus things move fast… and we never come back to properly reassess the wisdom of the Mongol’s words [though Conan does get drunk and punches a bystanding camel…and he also breaks into an orgy pit and kills a pet snake: so messaging about the importance of caring for animals don’t really seem to be getting through to him].

Hmm…

Fortunately this week featured social science research about this question. The Times of London recently calculated the value of having a pet in your life. They decided it was worth as much as (or more than) having a spouse and evaluated the value of having a beloved pet in your life as being equal to receiving an additional £70,000 in annual income per year (which is approximately $90,000.00 per year in our American dollars right now…although that amount could change fast if the currency is devalued)

Sadly, the Times did not compile the cost benefits of enemy-crushing (and concomitant lamentation-hearing) in pounds sterling.  It maybe is worth noting, though, that lots of victorious soldiers return with all sorts of survivor’s guilt, PTSD, and emotional trauma (indeed the sequel movie, “Conan the Destroyer,” is arguably about Conan doing obviously stupid and self-defeating things out of pure anguish and survivor’s guilt while pursuing a very different object of ultimate desire…but THAT is another story).  

“Glaaaahggaaaaaurghhhhauuurghhaaaaaagh!”

So do your own research! But when leaders show up in front of you telling you that what is best is crushing enemies, maybe they are vainglorious drunk warlords with no importance to the larger plot or theme.

And we also have another real-world data point! Arnold Schwarzenegger, who now has more money, power, and glory than anyone could use in a thousand lifetimes (and still looks like he could personally crush his enemies) can write his own ticket and do anything he chooses. But what he chooses to do is sit around the kitchen of his mansion lecturing his pet mini pony and micro donkey about the evils of fascism and feeding them bites of his pasta!

I was going to treat this as absolute proof that our animal friends are best…but then I noticed the skull of his enemy sitting there on the counter with his coffee mug and children’s handprint plaques…

Of course to really find out the answer we should probably ask Sumi Cat! She puffs up very ferociously when she sees enemies out in her back yard (even if she is not actually allowed out there) so maybe all of that enemy-crushing stuff is important to her!

We will keep working on this question [although really, my answer has been pretty clear for a while]. In the meantime have a wonderful weekend (and don’t give any personal information to snake cults).

Ovivore Kite (Wayne Ferrebee, 2023) ink and watercolor on paper

Happy April Fools Day! In the interests of maintaining reader sanity–which is already fraying thanks to the catastrophic antics of global mega fools–we are not going to feature any of the practical jokes which generally typify the holiday. These days America’s economy already runs 24/7 on scams, conspiracy, nasty tricks, and humiliating traps, anyway…. However it would be a shame to let a day dedicated to foolishness, knavery, and beguilement pass away unremarked, especially since this blog, Ferrebeekeeper, was founded on April 1st wayyyyy back in 2010! Happy 15th anniversary to us! (though, frankly, since then, it feels like Ferrebeekeeper and society in general have both lost ground to foolishness despite the 2282 (mostly) serious posts that we have churned out since the 2010 inception). Gosh, if I had just written a page of fiction about dragons and wizards instead of a blogpost each of those times, I could have written “The Winds of Winter” by now (somebody is going to have to sit down and write it, one of these days, right? right???).

Coming soon never

But I digress: what are all of these creepy snake-worm images doing here in our nice 15th anniversary post, anyway? What is that thing even? some kind of messed-up…lamprey banner? snake pennant? arrrrt??? Well, eagle-eyed readers who have followed this blog for a fortnight, will recognize it as an upsetting handmade kite from my “sky-perverts” series of hand-painted kites. If you had clicked that first post link above you would see a “ship of fools” woodblock print from the dawn of the mass-printing era (15th-16th century). The ship of fools was a Renaissance-era motif about the vanity, self-deception, hierarchical posturing, and silly selfishness which are inextricable pieces of the human condition. “Sky Perverts” was meant in the original self excoriating humanist spirit of Erasmus. The unrestrained ego, soaring vanity, and self-indulgent appetites of these kites

Today’s kite however is more about 2025 CE than 1525 AD (although, looking back five centuries to the time of Erasmus is a reminder about some of the universal truths concerning arrogant greedy rulers and their cowering subjects). The figure on the kite is an ovivore, a creature which consumes eggs! Other concerns of gender, species, basic reality, etc. have been discarded to emphasize the egg-eating nature of this symbolic being (although they are wearing a creepy priestly eggy sort of hat). Yet even in this one all-important field (egg-eating!), the ovivore has some problems. Look at them there, squandering eggs by the dozen as they fry, mix, grab, drop, and gobble (against a backdrop which itself looks like a giant smeared yolk). Here in 2025 America, eggs are a precious and rare commodity (indeed they have come to act as a stand-in for the economic uncertainties experienced by normal folk fear during this time of complete oligarch ascendancy). Also, is that thing eating the eggs that it itself lays? Snakes, tapeworms, and lampreys all reproduce by egg-laying. Eating one’s own future would be a grim metaphor indeed. Thank goodness America is not doing anything like that by making it too expensive for people to have families, or by canceling fundamental scientific research, or just by directly preying on children!

Uhhh, anyway, you probably have people you need to scam, or political scandals to spin, or cryptocurrency to sell. Egg prices are (momentarily) going down (very slightly) so no need to worry about recession, stagflation, fascism, national decline, failure, or doom! Happy April Fools Day 2025! Why not eat the rest of the eggs (and fish the rest of the sturgeon, and just grind the seed corn while you are at it)? In the land of the sky perverts we all float down here!

Oh! Also, you can watch me fly these things on Instagram, where I am “GreatFlounder”. Look at the egg-eating monster hovering over Sheepshead Bay!

See you all in 2040, unless anything goes wrong [national breaking noises and ecosystem collapse sounds in background…]

Japan! Mysterious archipelago of samurai, Pokémon, and Godzilla! Who can say what unfathomable mysteries are to be found in the brooding seas which circle the Land of the Rising Sun?

Well, actually professional divers are there all the time, and they have indeed found some underwater mysteries! Back in the unimaginably distant year of 1995 CE (1995 AD), divers documented beautiful underwater “crop circles” along the sandy coasts of the Ryukyu Islands (which run southwest from Kyushu to Taiwan). Unknown beings using unknown means had transformed the sandy seafloor into cryptic circular mandalas or dance floors or…landing pads? Who…or what could be responsible?

Well, especially attentive readers might correctly surmise that the mysterious patterns were created by the master-sculptor of the fish world, Torquigener albomaculosus AKA the white-spotted pufferfish. Ferrebeekeeper has a long history of fascination with the brilliant & eccentric fishes of the Tetraodontiformes order (which includes pufferfish, boxfish, filefish, triggerfish, and ocean sunfish). We have already seen how this order includes not just the largest bony fish in the ocean, but also masters of pure color, truculent clowns (nothing creepy about that word combination!), and fish that inspire sculptors, engineers, and designers. Well, it doesn’t end there: the Tetradontiformes (namely the white-spotted pufferfish) are themselves gifted sand artists! The great naturalist, Sir David Attenborough, has called them “the greatest artist of the animal kingdom” (although he is admittedly more famous for his dazzling nature documentaries than for his art criticism).

Torquigener albomaculosus pictured…uh giving a little love nibble to a special friend?

Usually I would include a paragraph here about the fish and its range/habits/etc., however, the white spotted pufferfish was discovered twenty years after its nest was first found. It was only recognized as a separate species in 2011 (what was I blogging about then?) and incontrovertibly identified as the maker of these mystery nests in 2014. Comprehensive facts about its biology are still a bit scarce. What we do know is that the fish lives along sandy shores at depths of 10 to 27 meters (33 to 90 feet). The little pufferfish are tiny, growing to a length of perhaps 12 cm (5 inches). The male pufferfish builds the sand nest by carefully using his mouth, fins, and body to grade and shift the fine sand. These nests have a diameter of approximately 2 meters (6.5 feet).

These nests have the look of things like fingerprints, zebra stripes, and humpback whale tubercles–which are all unique, but also all similar in some biologically functional way. Indeed, hydrologists note that the pattern of channels is such that “no matter from which side the water flows, the water runs through the valleys, slows down in the middle, and exits through the valleys on the other side.” So it seems like the nest provides fresh oxygenated ocean water to the pufferfish eggs (while also ensuring the current is not too intense for the tiny fragile eggs. (Here is a link to a scientific article which examines the many functional, useful, and interesting aspects of these nests). It is interesting how the aesthetic of the nest also resembles the appearance of human-made unique patterns like universal product codes, watermarks, or barcodes.

The fish themselves seem to combine the characteristics of other pufferfish (toxic tetrodotoxins and an ability to inflate for protection) with some of the useful crypsis of other benthic species, which is to say they hide in the sand like flounders both for hunting and protection.

It is crazy to me that we have only known “the greatest artist of the animal world” for 11 years (or I guess for thirty years, if you count the Banksy-style period when we knew their public artwork but not their precise identity). Back when I was a child, any attempt at talking about art made by animals would result in some humorless scold appearing and yelling about how it is wrong to anthropomorphize animals. I always found those arguments suspiciously religious (which is to say the “no anthropomorphism” rule was not talked about by zoologists and morphologists, but rather by religious people who felt that humans had a godly specialness denied to animals). It seemed to me then and now, that humans were appropriating some of the animals’ behaviors and attributing some divine specialness to biological behavior. Really a pufferfish should show up at the art gallery and angrily claim that human “art” is actually an instinctual behavior designed to make rudimentary sense of the world, provide a sense of safety, and attract a mate–which are probably actually the (wholly unsuccessful) purposes of my own artwork.

*Apparently there is a sister species, Torquigener florealis, which is known to make very similar nests.

Between 2022 and 2025 I (largely) took a sabbatical from blogging…but I did not stop working on making toys and artworks! Allow me to present what I was working on back then…”Sky Perverts” a line of satiric flying kite people meant as a send-up of people’s ridiculous hierarchical pretensions of being so far above everyone else (despite their all-too obvious human flaws). This line of flamboyant art kites reflects the grandiose self-absorption of our age. Each kite is carefully hand-made from bamboo, string, and paper before being hand-drawn and hand-painted. The flimsy paper and irregular shapes necessitate bravura ink painting, which gives them the refreshing simplicity and vibrancy of East-Asian scrolls. Each piece is as unique and special (and terrible) as an actual pervert! The handicraft methodology of the kites’ construction is a counterpoint to today’s marketplace where everything (except for the consumers themselves?) is made with computer-assisted design or artificial intelligence. Each kite is a character on a solipsistic quest for some sort of pleasure or status. Some characters have the winsome appeal of innocent pleasure-seeking, but most of them are greedy weirdos with disturbing predilections. Vampires, harpies, angels, and demons are given modern details to reflect the desires of contemporary ground-based humans. Started in 2022 (after years of deprivations & strife) the kites are meant to be flown!

Hand manufactured and hand painted with traditional techniques on paper and bamboo “The Baron-Captain” is one of this series of “Sky Pervert” kite-people. A glorious figure of success, he can impose his will on others through ordering subordinates to commit violence. Yet his shortcomings are also suggested in the form of aphrodisiacs and a short oyster knife (to pry pearls from obdurate oysters). His guns, computers, and drugs seem like crutches to help him limp forward in a war for hearts he is not winning.

Alas, I had my phone on the wrong setting and missed the fireball

Although “The Baron-Captain” never had a flying bridle (I burned it up before I took it out flying), the best part of the series usually involves taking the kites down to Plumb Beach or Coney Island and testing them out. Unfortunately, a few have fallen into Sheepshead Bay or blown onto Shore Parkway (where they were crushed by SUVs) but it is worth an occasional disasters to see the sky perverts glorious and obscene, soaring in the heavens above Brooklyn…and now also coming regularly to a wordpress blog near you!

The Glensheen gold gorget (or collar) dates from 800 to 700 BC and was found in a rock fissure in Co. Clare in 1932

Sure and begorrah! ‘Tis nearly Saint Patrick’s Day, when Ferrebeekeeper celebrates all things Irish & Gaelic & Celtic in a great suffusion of green and gold!  Over the years, we have done a fine job highlighting the green of the green land with a series of articles about colorful Irish myths, dark spirits, Kelly green itself, and above all, leprechauns–those pint-sized, green-clad hoarders whom American society loves unstintingly (as a barely concealed metaphor for our own barely-hidden addictions and neuroses).

But what about the gold? Where are all the glittering treasures of prehistoric Ireland? Leprechauns are great and all, as they harass Jennifer Aniston, chase after kids for breakfast cereal, and steal magic flutes from Ice-T (as, uhhhh, recounted in ancient Hibernian lore), but the real strength the little pranksters wield over human hearts seems to be in their cauldrons filled with ancient gold. GOLD! Hmm… What’s the story with that?

The Coggalbeg Hoard ca. 2300–2000 BC

Gold working in Ireland dates back to 2500 BC (pretty impressive, since the oldest goldsmithing in the world dates to 4500 BC in Bulgaria).  Ireland has limited quantities of native gold in placer deposits in various rivers, however it seems that much of the bronze age gold worked into the exquisite artifacts shown on this page was obtained in trade with Cornwall (possibly in exchange for Irish copper–a critical ingredient for the new-fangled bronze which gave the age its name).

Gold Dress Fastener. Clones. County, Monaghan. Ireland. ca. 800-700 BC.

It is interesting to imagine a trade economy of raw materials flourishing between hunter gatherers, early farmers, and handicraft artisans nearly 5000 years ago, but, frankly, it does not fire the imagination to the same heights as the quality of the goldworking itself. The timeless bright yellow luster of high karat gold combines with the sophisticated techniques of the ancient goldsmiths to lend an almost modern appearance to some of the pieces (or, at least this would be true if anyone still held their cloaks on with huge doorknob size gold brooches). Such work requires a complex array of complicated craft skills: smelting, refining, stamping, casting, hammering, burnishing, annealing, wire making, filigree and so forth. Irish goldsmithing seemingly acquired all of these skills at once (presumably from continental goldworkers in yet another mysterious example of ancient migration and culture sharing).

The gold hoard of Mooghaun North, Co. Clare (dated to the 8th c. BC), was unearthed in 1854 by workmen building a railway line
Stone tool, a stamp used to produce patterned gold discs. This remarkable stone die was used to make gold foil discs. It was found near Hacketstown, county Waterford, and is dated to circa 2200-1800 B.C

Not only did the pre-Roman Irish goldsmiths import sophisticated techniques all at once from other ancient goldmakers of bronze age Europe, but they were allowed to refine these techniques and themes over long centuries. Although the Romans knew about Ireland, they had enough nation-building going on in Europe, Africa, and Asia, that they never needed to add the densely wooded island full of warring clans to their empire. Thus, although the ancient Irish traded with Rome and Roman Britain, Irish material culture never pivoted to Roman subjects or techniques.  The most dazzling aspects of Gaelic metalsmithing continued to develop on their own in Ireland. Without Roman influences, the wild Pictish knotwork, strange zoomorphic shapes, and otherworldly geometry of Gaelic work developed into its most refined form–the dazzling and truly unique art of early Christian Ireland.

Detail of the Cross of Cong

Well here in America, things seem pretty bleak. A felonious fascist has taken over the country. He is breaking our laws, dismantling our government, and destroying the continent’s life-giving natural ecosystem (and…as an added bonus…he is defunding fundamental scientific research and harassing scientists out of the country). Gah! This may be the last time you hear from some of us Americans…

…but…meh… you probably hear too much about us and our depraved reality tv show leader as is. What is going on in the rest of the world right now, anyway? What else is happening while all eyes are fixated on the Trump dumpster fire (and flagrant United States self-immolation)? Well I am glad you asked…because some of the news is rather big. The United States has grown tired of leading the world with our cutting-edge research, inventions, and innovations. Since the United States government is no longer effectively funding technology & science research (which do not comport with fundamentalist Christians’ belief that nothing provable is real), China is taking over as the world’s research leader. It is frustrating because China is a closed autocracy and we don’t officially know what is going on there (unofficially, they are suffering the same demographic setbacks, environmental collapse, fiscal uncertainty, and populist discontents as the world’s other nations, but you don’t really hear about it since the dictator who runs the place makes sure everyone parrots the happy party line). And the happy party line is pretty happy–because China is starting to forge its own path forward extraneous to the errors, setbacks, and self-injury of the Trump-addled West.

For many years, Ferrebeekeeper has been following humanity’s science/technology quest to build a fusion nuclear device which is capable of generating usable power in a manageable way. For many years, there have been three main sources of fusion breakthroughs: (1) The National Ignition Project, where the Department of Energy is (was?) modeling next-generation laser technology to recreate and study contained fusion models, (2) ITER, a joint project by the world’s great powers to build a huge experimental tokomak reactor (which is going about as well as you would expect a joint project between America, Europe, Russia, Japan, China, and Canada to be going), and (3) private defense companies in Europe and the United States which have been dribbling out dodgy (but intriguing) press releases about weird nuclear fusion guns and trucks & stuff. Obviously, however, American government-funded research has now been canceled (and the money has been…pocketed by Trump, Musk, and cryptocurrency fraudsters? given to oil and gas companies? who can say?). Private companies do not generally bankroll any projects which will take longer than 10 years to yield bumper profits, so our (largely-fictional) private sector research is obviously not rushing towards any breakthroughs.

Pictured: Industry-funded research in America (note how the crooked executive pockets the money and does nothing worthwhile)

Now however, the People’s Republic of China has jumped ahead in the worldwide nuclear fusion race by building their own large experimental project. Begun in 2006 and rapidly completed with state funds and single-minded focus, the People’s Republic has built a test fusion reactor in the classic doughnut-shaped tokamak pattern. This “Experimental Advanced Superconducting Tokamak” (Acronym: EAST), has been pushing technological boundaries and setting records [as a sidebar, the actual project name is “先进超导托卡马克实验装置”, but until Chinese becomes the official language of science, the Chinese authorities have helpfully provided an English name and description as well so that we barbarians living in a failed state can follow humanity’s actual progress from afar].

Most recently, EAST achieved a scientific milestone by maintaining steady-state high-confinement plasma operation for an impressive 1,066 seconds (which more than doubles the previous world record of 403 seconds, also set by EAST). To quote Song Yuntao, ASIPP (Chinese Academy of Sciences: Institute of Plasma Physics) director and also vice president of HFIPS (The Hefei Institutes of Physical Science) ,”A fusion device must achieve stable operation at high efficiency for thousands of seconds to enable the self-sustaining circulation of plasma, which is essential for the continuous power generation of future fusion plants.” Since EAST has now met that benchmark, Chinese researchers and engineers have moved closer to realizing a functional fusion reactor.

Chinese "artificial sun" sets milestone record towards fusion power generation
The EAST experimental fusion reactor: it’s hard to understand what scale it is (Credit: HFIPS)

Seventeen minutes (1066 seconds) admittedly does not sound like an enormously long time, however the plasma material which they are talking about is not little bubbles of ionized gas you find in plasma screen televisions, but hydrogen atoms superheated to 100 million° Celsius (180000032° Fahrenheit, for our American readers who have trouble understanding temperatures in Celsius :)). I don’t know what that thing in the picture above is made of, but it does not look like it would last long at 100 million° Celsius, ergo one of the biggest challenge of this reactor design is making a magnetic field capable of containing fusion materials at that unearthly state of temperature/excitement. I was joking talking about Fahrenheit above: it is hard for anyone to imagine these kinds of temperatures or conditions! (but this article from Phys.org magazine tries to explain some of the basics of the EAST experimental reactor and what it has achieved so far).

Will the technology utilized in EAST provided the fundamental breakthroughs necessary to create a world of safe, inexpensive, non-polluting nuclear fusion? Such a world is still far away, but at least the Chinese are trying hard Why are we not researching this technology which is crucial for the future? Naturally, the answer is MAGA, the anti-science zealots of this anti-American political movement demand that the government drop all of its science funding enterprises so that the country will fall behind other nations.

MAGA red hat people are in favor of America falling behind China technologically and militarily (after all that is what China paid Trump to have happen…plus, why do you think those hats are the same red as the PRC flag?). MAGA hates America’s military and wants to see it destroyed so that Russia can thoroughly dominate the United States. MAGA hates American consumers and wishes to see them bled dry paying crooked Texan “businesspeople” for expensive fossil fuels which damage the ecosystem. Chinese technological superiority also serves Trump’s direct goal of making sure that America’s enemies have military capabilities far superior to our own so that they can crush us in a fight (not that our current military–run by a contemptible white supremacist idiot who is removing all leaders capable of integrity or initiative–would currently be capable of taking on the world’s tiniest force without losing badly). MAGA also wishes for the ecosystem to be destroyed, so that all plants and animals die, and for the agricultural system to fail so that all Americans starve (that will “own the libs” more effectively than anything). MAGA’s only goal is for all Americans (other than billionaires) to be killed or enslaved and for all living things to die.

Sorry: I got distracted by what MAGA loyalists want for the American people (misery, annihilation, enslavement, and death). The real subject of this essay is that by pursuing such ambitions, Trump & MAGA are likewise helping China press forward in its quest for technological , military, and economic dominance. Shouldn’t the American president, the American government, and the American military be working towards game-changing breakthroughs instead of trying to undermine and destroy research and development in the U.S.?

In conclusion, China’s new nuclear dominance is the beginning of Chinese technological dominance in all science and technology fields. America’s present rulers (crooked billionaires, theocrats, mobsters, and MAGA politicians who take Russian and Chinese money) do not wish for any further science innovations or progress which might disrupt their comfortable monopolies and grifts. America’s innovations are now of the dumb cryptocurrency/fake AI sort (useful for bilking rubes in the rigged casino of Wall Street, but not worthwhile for any real purposes). Beyond the broken and dying United States, however, Chinese innovation might be considered good news! The people of the world, desperately need a safe and secure source of non-polluting energy so we can move beyond the (rapidly worsening) climate catastrophe. [indeed, China might actually be able to fulfil their national commitments to ITER, which the United States is certainly unable to do.] The purpose of inventing and building nuclear fusion plants is to provide limitless, clean energy sources to save the natural world, enable humans to flourish, and eventually enable exploration throughout our solar system and beyond. China is the world’s new technological leader because it has the money, ambition, and governmental cohesion to pursue blue sky research and ambitious longterm projects. Because of bad leadership, corruption, and monopolies, America can no longer plan nor build such things (indeed, increasingly we can’t even build plain old houses, cars, or even simple plastic toys).

让中国制造和科技再次伟大 Make Chinese technology and manufacturing great again! (That is Trump’s true political slogan as he destroys America and plunges the American people into a dark age of weakness and poverty)

Gah! That is not how you do that!

As of this date at the end of February, Anno Domini 2025, the United States of America is swiftly becoming a totalitarian failed state.  One of our two political parties, the conservative (Republican/GOP) party has abandoned all political, personal, legal, and moral scruples and set out to install a narcissistic cretin as dictator for life.  Although the majority of American citizens, narrowly (!) disfavor throwing away our rich, prosperous, law-abiding democracy to live in a capricious and cruel dictatorship where everyone is starving, dying of diseases, and being disappeared by brownshirts, events are starting to roll down an ineluctable political doom loop towards self-annihilation.  The Democratic Party has broken into two feuding camps: the moderate wing, which favors sensible self-defense measures…but also strongly backs the plutocrats, monopolists, and business criminals who have been looting society; and the progressive wing which believes that the only path to democratic reform and renewal is to reform the corruptions of capitalism, break up monopolies, and return some of America’s looted wealth to its struggling citizenry (alas, the progressive wing also ascribes to every hard-to-explain post-structuralist critique of power…and is also historically very adverse to acknowledging the cold realities of national defense or the grim calculus of international politics).  

This is some remarkable primary source political material [Source: Donald Trump]

Plus, right now the information zone is well and truly flooded (it is a part of the fascist playbook: so don’t get distracted by stupid AI videos of Trump’s Gaza resort no matter how many digitally-generated bearded ladies the president shows grinding against his flabby orange form!).  It is hard to even tell what is going on in a land awash with terrifying headlines, weird scary firings, strange lawlessness, and endless fast-moving lies.  Wow! How did we ever get from being the “world’s sole superpower” to this self-inflicted disaster in a few short decades? Well actually we know what happened because we lived through it.  Big businesses (monopolies and cartels…and the rich people who own and operate them) have worked hard to either corrupt the government to serve big business interests, or to hide/obscure the countless important things the government does to help people and keep them safe [“Stealth government”].  Now voters don’t believe in the government (which, thus hollowed out, has underdelivered to working people for years) and are being further fooled into voting for the interests of the business criminals who broke government to begin with. Gah!

So what story could we tell about the future to break out of this doom loop? Well I have some ideas! But first let’s summarize the three dominant narratives we have right now.

The fascist/GOP story is the same simple stale tale that Hitler told:  Devious foreigners have infiltrated society and are trying to steal ancestral greatness with their dirty foreign tricks (somehow diabolically disguised as diversity initiatives, clean water rules, LGBTQ literature, school lunches, and rules against molesting women).  Only by expelling (or killing) these sinister outsiders, conquering lesser nations, and living in accordance with the dictator’s every insane whim can we move back to a glorious fatherland of endless “purity” and tribal dominance over others.  Businesses can pursue their own ideas of “efficiency” and steal whatever resources they need (by bribing the dictator) or overturn any regulations they dislike.  This “bad autocracy” plan is a surefire recipe for getting something like Germany in the 1940s, Chile in the 1970s, or France in 1770s (i.e. a surefire disaster for everyone except for the richest parasites…and then disaster for them too, a few years later).   Despite these drawbacks, a lot of people are still attracted to this narrative because it is simple.  It seemingly promises a return to the 1950s (when America’s rigid caste society involved fewer confusing choices or options…and also offered some measure of prosperity even to the people at the bottom).  Additionally, it seems like there are a shocking number of monarchists, know-nothings, confederates, and other broken losers from long-ago eras who just think that most people are disposable slaves.  These anachronistic anti-humanists are naturally drawn to the “crazy dictator kills everyone and ruins everything” model of government which the GOP now advocates.

That stupid-looking guy on the right is Curtis Yarvin, an American neo-reactionary who honestly believes that you should legally be allowed to have nothing and your family should be enslaved by an evil king who can abuse and kill them in any way he choses. He is a favorite thinker of tech-bros and crypto-dorks

Yeesh…So if you dislike the Republican governing philosophy of infinite bondage and suffering for everyone (except Trump and Putin) and destruction for all living creatures until everything fails and the world dies, you are stuck voting for Democrats.  The Democratic Party though is split.  Elderly and out-of-touch institutionalists like Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and the DLC (and, most, especially these 10 pro-Trump, pro-corruption Democrats who need to be given the bum’s rush) have fully imbibed the lessons of “Citizens United”, a Supreme Court decision–apparently named using Newspeak!–which says that corruption and bribery is perfectly legal [this terrible ruling lies at the heart of many of America’s current woes].  Centrists believe that serving monopolies and Big Business is the first duty of the Democratic Party and then, if any resources are left over, they can be funneled towards loudly performative “diversity” initiatives which help minorities in very limited and patronizing ways at the cost of alienating everyone else.

Trumpism is corrupting everything…but there were some troubles before, too

Admittedly this is a pretty grim assessment—but it mirrors the assessment of most middle class Americans, stuck working as cogs in big monopoly/cartel type corporations.  Hard working people are worried that if they push back against our world of corporate malfeasance they will be jettisoned from employment by the robber-baron crooks at top and soon be starving to death in front of 7-11.  This is probably a fairly accurate perspective in our “Right to work” era (“Right-to-work” is yet more “up-is-down” Newspeak which really means modern robber barons can fire you for no reason and send gun-thugs to break up trade-unions).  

So we are left with the political narrative of the Progressives. This is frustrating because Progressives know the solution to Americas most-pressing political problem (we need to successfully fight back against monopolies corrupting legal, political, and economic systems), but they have trouble articulating this in tiny bite-size quotes. Also, monopolies (and the oligarchs who own them) were yesterday’s most pressing political problem. Today’s most pressing political problem is constraining the corrupt and anti-American president who was installed by monopolies (and the oligarchs who own them), so that nobody would be able to interfere with their anti-competitive schemes. Unfortunately, it is a boring spreadsheet-intensive task to even figure out how colossal multinational corporations are breaking anti-trust rules…much less to explain all of this to “MAGABanana78” on Reddit or Twitter when they are yelling about how pronouns don’t apply to them. Likewise, much of Progressive political ideology comes from critical writings of the sort written by Foucault, Lacan, Derrida, and other post-structuralist social theorists. Their work ultimately belongs the great enlightenment tradition of philosophical liberalism and egalitarianism! But the egalitarian insights are couched in complex twisting modern language of critical theory and feminism. It does not readily compact down into tweetable form….and the insights about human rights and systems of oppression themselves tend to be fundamentally anti-hierarchical. [Also, sadly, modern Progressives are so involved in critiquing domestic politics that they misunderstand foreign policy and underestimate our national adversaries–but this critique does not apply at all in a world where the GOP president is an unabashed Russian agent trying to destroy the country to help Putin].

So we have three political narratives each of which contain some political truth. Unfortunately the current presidential administration has twisted and weaponized the biggest GOP truths (that America has remorseless national enemies who wish us ill, and that our expensive choices are becoming unsustainable debts for the future) into nativist poisons and political cancers which are being used to tear down the democracy. Through lies, coercion, fear, and bribes, our national enemies have Republicans doing the work of destroying America’s alliances and institutions for them! Centrist Democrats have become so comfortable with corporate cash that they have become blind to how big business has torn down democratic and social safeguards to create this crisis and immiserate society. Progressive Democrats understand that the crooked practices of monopolistic corporations have broken capitalism and are destroying society, but they can’t seem to communicate this except to people with post-graduate degrees in feminist philosophy.

Uhhh…are you getting this, MAGABanana78?

How can we say this in a short tweet? What stories about the future should those opposed to eternal political control by and for the morbidly rich tell? What stories even can we tell, in a world where the monopolists own or control most big media corporations or communications platforms? I have ideas! But the first idea is that Progressives and centrists must find a way to unite so that the Republicans don’t claim immediate victory. If that means pretending to enjoy listening to Mark Cuban condescendingly tell Democrats how he is always right and how he should be given more money and more power, then we can politely listen and make use of his resources (but we must not give him even more power to build out his own corrupt monopolies). We must make powerful progressive ideas of egalitarianism more clear to poor straight white guys in Kentucky (who need these ideas just as much as other struggling underprivileged groups). We can reform capitalism so that it becomes a horn of plenty for all as it once was. We can explain that self-government is better than misrule by twisted autocrat. We can show that fair laws fairly applied to all is much better than corruption (which is really what Republicans and centrist Democrats have been imbibing from their ever-so-monied donors). The country can be saved, but we have to stop taking billionaire’s specific instructions not to save it (although we can still take their donations so long as there are no strings attached).

…or maybe it can’t be saved, but I am tired of just worshiping these characters like they were some kind of god or universal law

Back during World War II (a distant time when Americans believed fascism was wrong), American GIs added their own distinct humorous graffiti to walls, billboards, and conquered enemy outposts. The most characteristic “tag” of that age was the enigmatic “Kilroy was here” which pictures a strange bald, big-eyed character peering over a fence. Kilroy’s long, bulbous nose sticks over the fence and intrudes into the viewer’s spatial plane in a sort of crude perspective illusion. The message was meant to reassure subsequent waves of American soldiers that a place was liberated–but with low grade Hallmark humor rather than naked braggadocio. But who was Kilroy? What is the meaning behind his 3-d nose and needy eyes?

The powerful battle art of the greatest generation!

Ferrebeekeeper does not know the answer to that question (and it sort of sounds like nobody really knows), but it does provide a perfect introduction to today’s adorable little South American animal, the silky anteater, Cyclopes didactylus, a furtive arborial anteater which looks just like Kilroy (albeit with no real connection to the 1940s graffiti other than comic good looks). The silky anteater weighs 175 to 400 g (6.2 to 14.1 oz) and grows to a length of 36 to 45 cm (14 to 18 in) (a length which admittedly includes an 18 cm/7 inch prehensile tail).

The silky anteater inhabits a vast tract of lowland tropical forest stretching from southern Oaxaca (Mexico) down through Central and South America to northern Bolivia (and from east coast Brazil to west coast Peru). There is even a population on Trinidad! The little nocturnal anteaters sometimes eat fruit, termites, or coccinellid beetles (like ladybugs), but the vast majority of their diet consists of hymenopterans–wasps, wasp larvae, and, above all, ants by bulk! A single little anteater gobbles down 700 to 5000 ants per night! Despite eating insects at industrial scale, the dinky anteaters do not produce chitinase or chitobiase (enzymes capable of digesting the hard chitin, which insect exoskeletons are made of).

During the day, silky anteaters take refuge in mighty Ceiba trees (Aside: Ferrebeekeeper probably needs to write about these living skyscrapers which can grow to 70 m (230 ft) tall or more). The anteaters curl up into furry yellow-brown balls which closely resemble the Ceiba’s silky seed pods. Unlike Kilroy, silky anteaters, have long sharp claws on the 3rd and 4th toes of their forelimbs which they use for clambering about their canopy world (and for defending themselves against eagles, hawks, and other predators).

Silky anteaters are largely solitary except during reproduction. Mothers give birth to a single offspring (which is born fully covered in fur). During the day, baby anteaters hide out in little leafy nests which their mothers build for them inside of tree cavities.

“Nobody here but us seed pods…”

Imagine a 25 story tall tree whose seed pods wake up at night and eat up the ants and then scramble out into the broader rainforest canopy along vines, branchlets, and lianas. The forest canopy is a sort of coral reef of the sky filled with countless arthropods, epiphytic gardens, reptiles, amphibians (including tadpoles growing up in bromeliad pools), birds of every sort, and mammals ranging from jaguars, to coatis to monkeys to weird South American arborial marsupials. Yet almost nothing in this vibrant realm of life is as strange as the little golden tree gnome that is the silky anteater. Sadly they are also strange to us (although maybe that is also a blessing, considering human nature). Despite its huge range and relative abundance, little is known of this least-studied anteater. We do know that it has a larger cranium, relative to other anteaters, so it may be hiding substantial intellectual or behavioral secrets. It may also be hiding more anteater varieties! Genetic studies from the two thousand teens suggest the anteater species may actually be several different species that look similar. Whether they are one species or many, the world’s smallest anteater is an endearing winner. May both they and their their forests prosper!

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