If there was anything that got me through Joey passing away, it was music. I learned that music is the only thing that remains. Friends and family go on with their life after the funeral, and you learn to do that as well... Music says everything that you feel, even when there are no words… Continue reading Grief Playlist
A letter to you…
Dear you, Today will go down as the worst day in your life, remember today. Remember everything. Remember the despair that you feel, the heartache, the tears and the devastation. This is what will set you apart from everyone that you meet or know. Take it all in, because today is the last day you'll… Continue reading A letter to you…
Thirty-five
October 21st; Happy 35th Birthday Joey, I have a music playlist named "Joey ❤ ", it's not love songs but songs about losing someone from death. Who'd you be today by Kenny Chesney is on this playlist but I don't listen to it because a big part of grief is wondering who someone would be… Continue reading Thirty-five
Twenty-three months later
Some chapters of after loss are sad, there are some chapters where you wish they would just end after one sentence. That's where I was, I didn't know what chapter I was on, after Joey died. I was so miserable, I don't even know if miserable is the correct word to describe it. I was… Continue reading Twenty-three months later
As life happens..
Well it's been 5 months since I've been on here, I constantly in my mind think about what I could possibly write. In 5 days it'll be 21 months since Joey passed away, and yeah I still count every month. Wonder when that will end.. Do I ever want it to end? 20 months, feels… Continue reading As life happens..
The lady in the black dress…
Well, the black dress was never planned now was it? Just like having to say goodbye, none of it was planned. Look at yourself in the mirror, black dress, tired eyes, water proof mascara... Just stare at yourself, none of it seems real. The world is spinning ten times faster than what it was 5… Continue reading The lady in the black dress…
Death kills you.
As I kissed your forehead goodbye and pressed my lips against yours for the very last time, I knew as I let go ofthat hand, that I was never going to be the same. The young woman that you fell in love with, and showed what love was... was slowly over the months going to… Continue reading Death kills you.
Just like a string of lights
You know when you hang up Christmas lights and one of the bulbs go out and then all of them go out... You get angry and pissed off at the world because you just hung up all these lights and one stopped working.... Now what, you have to go through all of them just to… Continue reading Just like a string of lights
Patience, Understanding and Love
In today's world, I feel as though depression and grief aren't really discussed, by the people that are experiencing it and the people on the outside looking in. The months following Joey passing, I was a wreck. I wasn't eating, I had thoughts of what way would be the easiest way to kill myself, I cried… Continue reading Patience, Understanding and Love
When you say I don’t miss him..
Now a days there's always a book on how to do something, well let me tell you there's not many books on how to deal with grief or better yet how to grieve. Even if there was a really good book, I don't think I would read it. Yeah, you read that right. I wouldn't… Continue reading When you say I don’t miss him..
Chapters after loss 