Two Journeys

I’m in China! Living with my very traditional Chinese wife! Learning the language and eating the foods. About a year ago I had asked “God” for an end-of-life companion. Then, at the beginning of July, my niece introduced me to Lily, who had just arrived from China with a 6-month visa in her hand. She came to visit her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren- and didn’t rule out securing an American husband. Hey, she was upfront! We traded contact info and began conversing in opposite languages, made possible by Google Translate and WeChat. Then, in November, at my brother’s home where we met, we promised to spend the rest of our days together. And we will.

I’m also taking a very different inward journey re: God. For five-plus years now I have been veering away from Christianity; it seems I’ve taken a few, thousand-year steps backward, to a world of “not knowing whither” I’m going. The world of Abram. I’m open to God, yes, yet, I’d rather not know. Not knowing enhances life for me and those around me. I’m more accepting of other peoples, and their beliefs. Also, I’m free from theology, and all that goes with it; I’m not going to try and convince you to believe anything. It’s just me and the “God” that, in my opinion, exists.

Wait a Minute..

Christians worship the Bible! One can order a text this way and that; not so, God. It took me awhile to overcome my childhood indoctrination and Christian-community bias and potential “heretic” label, yet here I am. I do not believe the Bible is ‘the inerrant, infallible Word of God. Per Jesus, ‘You pore over scriptures and ignore Me!’ Maybe he said that and maybe not, yet I get the message.

Over the past 5 or so years I’ve whittled my belief system down to a personal God on a par with, that is, relative to, my personal conscience. To ‘do the right thing’ and to ‘love my neighbor as myself’ is nothing less than turning towards, and, living towards God, 24/7. Who else is there?! Life is living towards everyone as I live towards God every moment of the day every step of the way.

Just Like You

There’s an old Jewish parable that has a man and God walking together. The man is trembling. Almost cowering, I suppose, in the presence of the Lord.

“Why are you trembling?” God asks the man. “I am just like you.”

And that’s why I choose to walk with him, in spite of my shortcomings. I believe that’s what God is saying to us from the get-go. “I’m just like you.”

Partnership with God

Is ‘God with us’ too good to be true? Maybe. Yet, I’m betting my life it isn’t.

I am thankful for my life, and I voice my thanks to God for living and partnering with me in this adventure. Since I assume that God is responsible for life, I likewise assume that he entwines his life with my own, most intimately. Much importance is given determining true Bible life and stories etc, yet how about mine?!

So the meaning and purpose of life for me is getting to know God via life’s moment to moment stuff. And I actually think it’s more by receiving what comes along than by forcing it. ‘Seek God’s face continuously’, yes, yet seek him by receiving life’s everyday nitty gritties. Be open to being a here-and-now bible story. Choose your own adventure!

Throughout time people have sought God in many ways. Often with self discipline and asceticism. Meditation, fasting and self-flagellation make for a one way relationship. Yet, I think God most of all wants to rub elbows with us in a partnership, through foul weather and fair.

Evaporating Faith

Faith is a choice. Once made, it begins to disappear. I don’t choose ‘faith in God’; I choose God. Faith isn’t a mental state or hope in the eternal. It’s choosing a foundation: for me, God. I don’t act according to faith, I act, that is, I live towards God. So did Jesus of Nazareth.

I’ve been shedding my bible beliefs. Now I’m down to two with which I’m comfortable: God as Lifegiver, and Jesus Christ as God’s representative, prophet, son; who knows, maybe even God himself. Once that choice is made, faith dissipates; God is front and center.

Blind Date

Consider the lilies

They wait, and wait

In the hard ground, through long nights

For sunshine’s thaw, for cool rains

They wait, and receive

Rather than see.

I think that’s God’s great desire for us- to wait, to experience, and to receive. Rather than acquire. To wait for the cool of the day, dawn’s first light, and for him to share in all of life’s nitty gritties. While I can never be certain, I can always be open.

Beyond the Bible

The Bible is not the End-All, it’s a collection of histories and opinions and teachings by ancient authors and editors. This doesn’t mean the Bible is a definitive statement of Truth or the Word of God.

I’m amazed at the time and effort and money spent poring over bits and pieces of manuscripts to prove or disprove the Bible. Would that we looked for God likewise in our everyday lives. For God with us.

Where? In the sunrise, in the first star. In crows conversing on a limb (or dancing on the wind in an approaching storm on a Sunday morning). In two small children holding hands.. Scholars, Christians, and yes, naysayers, look beyond the Bible! Look for God among us in life’s mundane matters.

My Worldview

My worldview is simple, yet wide and inclusive: ‘In the beginning God created.. mankind in his own image.’ This is the foundation of my life. I see the people-places-things that cross my path as supervised by him. To me, they are God’s ongoing conversation with me.

Jesus purportedly said, ‘Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.’ What is that? I think it’s the Son saying, “See, my eyes are on the Father, no matter who crosses my path.” So my goal is that God’s will become my own, that we be of one mind. As are a team of oxen walking, working as one.

Why is our world beset with chaos amidst its beauty? Because we are independent, doing without God. We are dead to God. A fish out of water will die, and a plant out of the ground will die. So is a person without God, dead. That’s why I believe the simple message of God is, “Return to me.. choose life.”

Testing God with my Life

That’s right, “testing”, not “trusting”. Though the two may perhaps be somewhat synonymous, I think testing seems more bold, more connected, more intimate. It’s an ongoing, 24/7 conscious coupling with God.

Now, to define testing I mean living my life believing that God is not only always with me, he’s also developing sonship: his begotten (if I may) life, in me. I am a son of God, walking in full disclosure of my Father. “Walking in the light” is testing, and being tested by, God.

Of course, results are pending, and, in fact, may not be found this side of life. Not to worry. If, like me, you’re interested in God, and connecting in some way with him (Jesus of Nazareth), what is there to lose? I believe I’ve connected (though I can’t prove so) and the logical choice now is to continue.

And the highlight is this: there’s not one thing between us! once I learn to own everything that comes between us. (Often, my temper tantrums.) There’s nothing, I’ve a direct line to the God of the universe. I’m learning his way of being. God is rest amidst life’s mess.

What must I do to be saved?

Saved from what? you ask. As one story goes, From hell and damnation and banishment from God forever. Well, that’s the opinion of some.

If you boil it down to the simplest scenario, God is Ground Zero. That seems the best place to start: I’m here on purpose, because God is.

I think the biggest reason we rule God out is because we prefer independence. And to some degree we are independent. With all the perks that go with it. Life in the dark and against the wind.

So, to be saved, turn around. To me that’s all God waits for: turn, and walk with Jesus of Nazareth. You won’t have all the answers that people clamor after because there’s only one answer, one light. Him.

‘Take up your cross and follow me’ is simply, ‘Live your life walking alongside me.’ In all my years pondering and all the religious options out there what in the world is more attractive than everyday walking with God?